#Rafael Barba/OC | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saiilorstars · 2 months

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Ch. 60: The Waiting Game

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @averyhotchner @abzidabzy @hellofutur @foxesandmagic @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message

When Montserrat woke up from her Nyquill-induced nap, she very quickly realized she slept way more hours than she intended to. It was past noon, almost four. Granted she was truly well rested but that was not the point. She still felt mentally exhausted and wasn't equipped for what had to come next. She had to finally call Lucia and tell her what happened — it was the worst conversation she ever had with the woman. Lucia was livid with Montserrat, to say the least.

"How could you not tell me before!? Why are you barely telling me!?"

Montserrat could barely give her reasons when Lucia went on a rampage in the Spanish and English language to the point where Montserrat couldn't dream of understanding. The only thing Montserrat managed to hear was that Lucia was on her way to the hospital and pretty much cut all ties with his son's girlfriend.

Great. That would be fun explaining to Rafael when he woke up. It was definitely about the last thing he needed in his life right now. After that, Montserrat soon found out that somehow Casey had gotten involved with the whole thing.

"Yeah, that was my fault," Kara said with a hand raised in the air. "I suggested it."

"Why?" Montserrat couldn't understand what a robbery had to do with her cousin at the moment. Then again, she was only really thinking with about a 50% capacity.

Kara understood her mistake too late and was left squandering for a reasonable excuse (otherwise this time Sonny would have a true reason to kill her). "Well, uh, Casey's another prosecutor and she'll maybe take the case? If they find the guy?"

"It's just not her case yet," Montserrat insisted, although it seemed like the heat was now going more towards the situation rather than Kara (or Casey for that matter). "Nobody's been murdered."

"And it'll stay like that," Kara jumped on the chance to provide actual support to her friend. It was hard thinking this could turn into a homicide case rather than attempted murder. "You'll see."

Montserrat would've been more convinced if she didn't have other things on her mind. She kept getting voice-mail for Lucia's number, only reiterating how angry the woman was with her.

"She'll come around," Kara kept insisting as well, "She's stunned, like you were when you first got the call. It's just different. She's his mother, after all. Give her some days."

Montserrat nodded only because there was nothing else she could do, but it didn't mean it wasn't nagging at her in the meantime. "I need to go back to the hospital," she told Kara after lunch. She did Kara the solid of sticking around for that mealtime but it was about all she would do now. She'd been away from the hospital for way too long.

"What are you talking about? It's only been a couple hours," Kara pointed out. She would rather Montserrat stay for a bit more until she was less anxious and stressed.

"It's past noon now!"

"So?" Kara would love to hear an adequate reason why the time even mattered. "Montserrat, you need to rest."

"I already did!" Montserrat exclaimed. "Way more than I planned!"

Kara's eyes flickered to the side for a moment. The nyquil was still under wraps. Her phone started ringing and seeing it was Sonny, she urged Montserrat to wait for another 5 minutes. "Just let me take the call and see what's happened, okay?"

Montserrat groaned. "Fine! But I am leaving as soon as you're done, with or without you!"

Kara nodded and hurried to take the call. Montserrat took the first seconds to try and calm herself down. She didn't want to actually fight with Kara, not with anyone for that matter. They were all walking on eggshells around her already, thinking she was a ticking time bomb. It was hard staying afloat not knowing what the next day would bring, or even the next hour. Tears stung get eyes just thinking about the uncertainty.

Hearing the knock on the door somehow startled her greatly. She went to open it, presuming it would be Sonny on the other side only to find her father instead.

"Dad!" She gasped, stumbling back a step.

"Montserrat, how — woah! What's happened to you?" Thomas of course referred to his daughter's face of anguish.

Immediately, Montserrat whirled around, eyes wide as she took a few steps away from her father. She tried wiping her eyes quickly. "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I got the day off and since it's been a while, I thought we could have lunch,, but..." Thomas trailed off, reaching forward for his daughter's shoulder. He gently turned her around and saw the same face as before, only this time it was slightly redder from the fervent rubbing at the eyes. "Now I'm seeing it's longer than I thought. Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Dad," Montserrat shook her father's hand off her shoulder. "Just a rough day, that's all."

"No, no, no," Thomas shook his head, "Don't try to kid me. I know you, Montserrat. You've been crying and it looks like it's been going on for a while. What's happened?"

"Nothing, sheesh!" Montserrat exclaimed. Of course she would've been more convincing if her voice hadn't shaken towards the end. How the hell am I a detective? "Look, I can't do lunch today. Can we schedule another day?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Thomas declared, crossing his arms, "It looks like you've got explaining to do, young lady."

Montserrat glared at her father. This was the last thing she needed right now. Despondence, anxiety, and anger mixed into one did not bode well for anybody in the room. "Dad, I don't have time for this. Can we do this another day, please?"

Thomas raised an eyebrow at his daughter. Usually it was all he needed to warn her she was crossing a line with him.

She still knew that.

But she didn't back down this time.

"You've got 5 seconds to tell me what's going on with you," Thomas warned. "Five…four…"

Montserrat gawked at her father with incredulity. "Dad, you can't treat me like I'm five—"

"Three…two—"

"Dad, seriously!"

"One—"

"I SAID STOP!" Montserrat unintentionally yelled at her father.

Thomas was dumbfounded with such a frantic reaction from his daughter. Tears were coming to Montserrat's eyes and though it was partially out of guilt, there was something deeper going on. "Montserrat," he tried again, softly, "Sweetheart, what's—"

"Can you just go? I'm actually leaving right now too," Montserrat gestured to the door behind Thomas. "I have to—"

"Montserrat!" Kara called from the hallway seconds before emerging. "Sonny says he'll be by in 15 and he can take us to the hospital."

"Hospital!?" Thomas exclaimed.

Kara's eyes widened. She had no idea they were no longer alone. "Oops…"

Montserrat let out a heavy sigh. "Dad—"

"Why do you need to go to the hospital!?" Thomas started demanding. "Are you hurt?" He went to check himself but Montserrat swatted his hands away.

"Dad, stop!"

"Why do you need to go!? Do you feel alright? What am I saying — it's obvious you're not feeling well! You've been crying!"

"She has," Kara agreed solemnly.

"KARA!" Montserrat said loudly enough to make Kara flinch. "SHUT UP!"

"Don't yell at Kara like that," Thomas reprimanded his daughter, "Answer my question. Why are you going to the hospital right now?"

"Because…" Montserrat racked her head for a good answer that wouldn't give away such a terrible situation.

"Are you hurt?"

"No!"

"Then why—"

"Oh, just stop!" Montserrat resorted to pleading, something downright shocking to her father. "Please! Just stop!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as the weight of each of her problems finally culminated into one heavy load on her shoulders. "I'm not hurt! At least not physically because trust me, everything else right now hurts! I'm going to the hospital because my boyfriend's there because he's been shot, okay!? He's been shot and he hasn't woken up since it happened and I want to be there when he does — if he does! Now please stop berating me and just—" Montserrat ran into her father's arms where she finally burst into tears.

Thomas was utterly stunned. For the first couple of seconds, nothing of what Montserrat said had sunk in so while she hugged him, his arms were awkwardly on either side of him. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open, he met Kara's gaze. She nodded to confirm everything Montserrat had said. Her grim expression helped sell it too.

"When...when did you get a boyfriend?" Thomas looked down at his daughter but at the question, Montserrat only whimpered and retreated further into him, desperate to be hugged back. Thomas slowly did so, bringing one hand over her back and the other behind her head. "O-okay, um…that's...that's...bad..." He sighed. He was terrible when it came to things like these. Montserrat's teenage years had been quite an adventure in terms of boyfriends and dating but now at 30? He didn't know which age was worse. "I'm—I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he ultimately said, "Really. I — how did this happen?"

Montserrat pulled away to take a deep breath. Her face was stained with tears. "A robbery. The guy was trying to rob the shop Rafael was at and then he just shot...he shot…"

Kara remained absolutely silent and lowered her head. It killed her to keep the truth of the situation a secret from Montserrat. But if she knew the truth, it would make her feel even worse, she reminded herself.

"Okay, okay," Thomas cupped Montserrat's face, "Wipe those tears. We can go to the hospital right now."

"You'd come with me?" Montserrat sniffed. "You're not mad I didn't tell you—"

"It does not matter right now," Thomas said, "Besides, you're a grown woman — as tough as that is to deal with — and you can make whatever choices you want."

"I was going to tell you. That's why I asked about having dinner, remember?"

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, and I told you I was going out on a trip for a whole month. Okay, that was my fault then."

"Dad, you would really like him. I mean, he's sort of a smart-ass but then again so is Gael."

Thomas let out a low laugh. "Oh, is it just Gael?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

Thomas barely held his next laugh in. "Right." He gave Montserrat a kiss on the forehead. "Are you ready to go?"

Montserrat nodded fairly quickly. "Yes, please, let's go!"

"Kara?" Thomas looked at the blonde behind them.

Kara waved them off with a hand. "I'll wait for my boyfriend. He was already on his way. Plus, I think there'll be a lot of talking done on that drive."

Thomas wholeheartedly agreed with her. His eyes drifted over to Montserrat who had the energy to appear more nervous than before. "Ready?"

Montserrat wasn't so sure anymore. Still, a ride to the hospital meant she would practically do anything.

~0~

Thomas started slowly, cautiously, and for that Montserrat appreciated but it didn't make things any less awkward nor tense.

"Dating your co-worker — isn't that against the rules?" Thomas wondered out loud. He stopped at an upcoming red light, giving him the opportunity to glance at his daughter.

Her tear-stained face was finally getting a glimpse of light. She had stopped crying for the moment — she just needed to clean her face.

"Not if you disclose," she answered quietly, "Which we did."

"Ah, okay, um...when was that?"

"Dunno, two months ago? Time sort of blurred…"

"Time 'blurred'?" Thomas let out a small chuckle.

Montserrat glanced at him, eyebrows knitted together. "What?" Her voice couldn't go any louder than a quiet tone. If not, she would've demanded the explanation.

"Nothing...it's just...usually when you feel like time has 'blurred', it's because you've been having a good time," Thomas explained. At the green light, he was no longer able to look at her.

Maybe it was for the best.

Montserrat shifted in her seat. She was not about to go into detail about her relationship to her father. "It's been different," she left it at that. It wasn't a lie but it didn't outright expose her either.

Thomas hummed. "I can see that. I've never seen you so distressed over someone like this."

"To be fair, none of my other boyfriends have ever been shot."

Thomas let out a small laugh. "True, but I also meant in general. I've noticed you've been more, uh, content lately. Because I don't know what made you leave behind your old job and place in Queens, but I know that you haven't been happy in a while. I like the change."

"I'm sorry for that," Montserrat mumbled, eyes downcast. However painful it was for her, she imagined it had to have been hard for her father as well. She wasn't the kindest to him in the beginning. She did what a victim typically does: push people away. She thought she did it perfectly. She left her old friends in Queens, her job. She put distance between her father, her brother, even her nieces, and Kara. She became a good liar, indeed.

"I wasn't expecting an apology," Thomas clarified, "And I certainly didn't need one. I'm your father. I just want to know that you're okay."

Montserrat smiled lightly. "I can tell you that before all of this, I was more than okay."

Thomas nodded. "I believe it. You were...happier, more than I'd seen you in a very long time. I would love to say that you were your old self again but it still isn't like that."

"Dad, I don't think I'll ever be the same as before," Montserrat said, figuring it was best to shatter that dream right now than let it keep going without a future. "But that's okay because the way I felt before all this, it was damn great." Her breathlessness was enough to take her word for it. It sounded like even she couldn't believe it.

Truthfully, sometimes she still couldn't.

It took very little for Montserrat to become accustomed to the idea of always feeling miserable on the inside and overall like she was simply floating through life. She had resigned herself to the idea that it would always be like that from now on. But things changed again and she couldn't be more grateful. It would be beyond cruel to lose it all again. Actually, Montserrat couldn't see herself getting past it all over again if she lost Rafael.

"No more tears," came Thomas' voice.

Montserrat snapped out of her thoughts to find there were new tears rolling down her cheeks. "Sorry," she sniffed, wiping the tears off with the backs of her hands.

"No need to be," Thomas told her, "I'm so sorry this is happening, sweetie. But let's have some faith that it'll be okay in the end."

"To be honest Dad…" Montserrat let out a low sigh, "I don't really do the 'faith' thing a lot anymore."

Thomas nodded silently. It wasn't much of a surprise. "The things you see at your job can't leave much hope in the world, I know."

"Mhm," Montserrat nodded. She could let her father believe it was all because of her job. It would be easier for him that way.

"But in times like these...who do you turn to for strength?" Thomas asked curiously. "People pray to God, or other saints or something. What do you pray to?"

"Nothing," Montserrat admitted. It had been a very long time since she turned to any type of religious prayer. She was non-practicing Catholic at this point. Don't tell Lucia. "Right now, I just think about Rafael and how he's strong enough to come back. You should see him in action, Dad. If I were that guy who shot him, I'd run. I've been on the receiving end a couple times and Rafael doesn't play. And I've only gotten a small taste of the real thing. He's scary. Ask Kara."

Thomas let out a small laugh. "Knowing you, you probably kept it going."

Montserrat nodded. "Hell yeah. He's not right until I say he's right." She shifted in her seat. "Although right now, I'd give anything to hear his smart-ass remarks. An argument. Anything."

Thomas stretched a hand out until he was able to find Montserrat's. "It'll be okay."

Montserrat didn't say much after that. She couldn't wait to see the end of the drive and be at the hospital again. Nick had tried sending her messages but it didn't look like the service in the hospital was doing so well. All his texts were coming in as 'incoming message'. It left Montserrat even more anxious. What if something happened while she was away!?

She practically ran through the hospital, leaving her father to do his best to keep up. "Nick!?" She called as soon as she saw the man in the waiting room. "Your messages weren't coming through! Did something happen?"

"Yeah," Nick nodded, eyes flickering past Montserrat to her father.

"That's my Dad," Montserrat said dismissively. She had no times for introductions right now. "What happened!? Is Raf—"

"He's awake," Nick thankfully cut Montserrat off. He presumed that she had assumed the worst with his answer.

The relief that washed over Montserrat was monumental and yet so short-lived. Nick didn't understand why.

"I wasn't here," she whispered, eyes falling, "I wasn't here for him. God — I told you people I shouldn't have left!"

"Montserrat, you needed to rest," Nick said, "Besides, he woke up like 15 minutes ago. His mom's in there with him right now." Apparently, he'd something really bad because Montserrat's face had paled to a ghostly shade.

"What?" She asked, sounding like she'd lost air as well. "N-n-n-n-no, tell me she just got here too. Please."

"Uuh…" Nick was utterly confused but he still had to answer with the truth and it was not what Montserrat wanted to hear. "She got here an hour ago."

"Crap," Montserrat let out a heavy sigh.

"Montserrat, what's wrong?" Thomas asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You should be happy!"

"I am," Montserrat clarified, "But you don't understand. Lucia got very upset with me because I didn't call her immediately when this happened. I called her this morning instead because I thought there was no reason she should lose sleep when I was already here, waiting to hear how the surgery went. She didn't agree. She thought she should've been notified immediately."

"Okay, well, that was then, this is now. Things will change now that Rafael's awake. She was probably very scared too."

"I bet she was," Montserrat agreed, "But she's Rafael's mother. Where do you think he gets his temper from?"

Nobody would answer her. It was better to stay quiet and to help move things along, Olivia arrived shortly afterwards. She'd gotten the call from the doctors themselves as was protocol.

"Is he capable of answering?" She asked the two detectives.

"He might be too tired to remember things right now," Nick said, "I was with him for 10 minutes and he barely said anything about what happened."

"Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it," Montserrat said. "And he shouldn't if he's not ready."

Olivia nodded with her. "Yes, but it's worth asking, don't you think?"

The detective in Montserrat would make her agree but the civilian side of her made her shake her head. That was the part of her that wanted everyone to stay the hell away from Rafael until he was all better.

"There's his mom," Nick said when he saw Lucia emerging from the hallway.

Montserrat immediately pressed her clothes down as if Lucia were going to point them out and add to her fuel against Montserrat. She made herself front front center when Lucia joined them.

"How is he?" She immediately asked the older woman. "Is he — is he talking? Does anything hurt?"

"He had a bullet in his body so yes, he is in pain," Lucia answered sharply enough to have Montserrat wincing each time.

"Excuse me," Thomas cut in just as Montserrat was about to go on. He moved around Nick and Olivia to stand beside his daughter. "There's no need to be that kind of rude. You're both stressed and frightened."

"And who are you?" Lucia demanded, eyebrow raising.

"This is my father," Montserrat said hastily, truly wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation.

"Thomas Novak," Thomas introduced himself, "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to my daughter like that."

Lucia didn't appreciate the tone used on her either. "Lucia Barba," she introduced herself in the same tone as Thomas, "And your daughter knows exactly why I'm upset." She crossed gazes with Montserrat.

"I'm sorry," Montserrat reiterated, sighing. "I didn't want you to go through a sleepless night. You nor Catalina."

"Don't take decisions that don't belong to you," Lucia retorted, "When it comes to my son, I need to be informed about everything that happens to him. I don't know why I didn't get the call in the first place. Do you?"

Montserrat lowered her head. She preferred not to answer for the moment.

"There's no need to argue," Olivia stepped in as well, "We all want the same thing, don't we? For Rafael to get better?"

"Of course," Lucia said incredulously. How dare they think otherwise?

"Okay," nodded Olivia, "Then I'd like to see him right now. I think Montserrat as well."

Montserrat nodded fervently. "I do," she said.

"Don't bother him with the unnecessary, please," Lucia warned as the two women started walking around her.

"I would never," Montserrat said sharply. "But I do want to catch whoever did this to him. And I will."

She followed Olivia down the hallway, preferring not to look back. She couldn't take whatever look Lucia must be giving her right now. She didn't have the head for it either.

"Montserrat," Olivia called twice before she was heard, "Forgive me for intruding but, have you taken some time for yourself with all this going on?"

"Are you kidding? I slept way more than I should have!" Montserrat exclaimed. "He woke up and I wasn't here!"

"I don't mean that," Olivia shook her head. "With this kind of stuff, I presume you would want to go see your therapist?"

"I don't have time for that!" Montserrat said dismissively. "I need to be here!"

Olivia suspected that mindset long before she got the courage to ask Montserrat. "It's important that you take care of yourself first. I'm sure Rafael would say the same thing."

It honestly didn't matter to Montserrat right now. She just wanted to reach the damn room herself and see with her own eyes that Rafael was awake. That's all she wanted. Olivia must have seen it because she didn't mention therapy again for the rest of the walk.

They didn't make a sound when they finally entered the room. If Rafael was really asleep, neither wanted to wake him. Questions would wait. But, as soon as they were in sight, Montserrat saw Rafael wide awake. He seemed a bit dazed but lucid enough to recognize them.

Montserrat forgot all about her conversation with Olivia and rushed forward. "Hii…" She said breathlessly, "You're still awake! You should be sleeping."

"I've done enough sleeping," Rafael muttered, sounding a lot more like himself than Montserrat (and Olivia) expected. He was definitely irritated enough to be himself.

Montserrat grinned widely at his response. She absolutely loved seeing him act like he usually would — it meant he was getting better! She reached for his hand, immediately gripping it. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I-I should've been, I know, but…"

Rafael watched Montserrat in a more dazed manner again — his mind went in and out with all the meds he was on.

This, Olivia presumed and since Montserrat seemed too upset with herself to notice, Olivia decided to cut in and help them both out. "Now, Montserrat, I think it's okay," she started slowly, watching Montserrat lower her head out of utter guilt, "You had to go home and rest too." Olivia looked at Rafael who was still trying to make sense of Montserrat's long ramble. "She was here all of last night and Carisi and Amaro and sent her home to sleep and eat."

"Well — why are you apologizing then?" Rafael glanced at Montserrat, eyebrows knitting together with confusion. "It's not like I noticed, right? I was in surgery. At least that's what my mother told me?"

"Is that all she told you?" Montserrat asked rather curiously and slightly worried. She grabbed a chair and sat down beside the bed.

"She said a lot of things but honestly, I tuned her out," Rafael drew in a breath, "The mess might be a blessing in disguise, you know."

"Ha…" Montserrat smiled lightly. That sounded a lot more like him. It truly relieved some of her anxiety. "Still, I'm really sorry. I did want to be here but I…I sort of overslept and…"

"I promise you that I am okay with that," Rafael said, smiling for the first time. "I don't want you forgetting about yourself because of me."

"I'm good, I promise," Montserrat assured, nodding her head fast. She brought their interlocked hands to her mouth, kissing his hand. "I just want you to be okay now. I've been a little crazy."

"A little?" Rafael's smile widened.

"Shut up," Montserrat said hushedly, letting out a small chuckle. She missed this so much. All the nerves were washing out as a familiar warmth flooded her insides.

At the same time, Olivia's phone started buzzing. "I'll be back," she told the two before taking the call.

Montserrat scooted her chair closer to the bed. She held onto Rafael's hand, still keeping her smile. This is all she wanted. Rafael was awake, seemingly recuperating and already taking jabs at her. In all her thoughts, she missed Rafael studying her. He noticed something he truly wished he hadn't. It led to his question.

"How are you?"

Montserrat blinked at first, puzzled with the question. "What — me?" She laughed. "Môj drahý, I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine."

"I'm on some strong medication but I assume you just spoke Slovak but even then…I don't buy it," Rafael said, shaking his head. "You went crazy over me."

"You were shot," Montserrat said, still frazzled having to say that. "What did you think I would do? Happily pass the night with your scotch?"

"Did you save me some, by the way?"

"Rafael," Montserrat warned him not to play jokes right now. "You were shot. It's not funny."

"Oh, I'm not laughing at that," agreed Rafael, "But I am trying to lighten the mood here. I don't want you to worry about me."

"Not right now," Montserrat shook her head, "Don't ask me not to do that when you're here. You have no idea how scared I was when I got the call."

"They called you…" Rafael said, as if realizing something.

"Um, yeah…" Montserrat cleared her throat, "Why did the hospital call me first? Your mother, uh, she was pretty pretty confused about that too."

"Yeah…" Rafael nodded, "Uh…I was going to tell you sometime…definitely not here but…"

"I don't think I've ever heard you ramble so uselessly…" Montserrat laughed almost immediately after saying that.

Rafael deadpanned her for a straight minute while she laughed. "I think I deserve to be cut a little slack, right?"

Montserrat nodded as she did her best to sober from her laugh. "Of course, dear."

It was too late as Rafael was already properly annoyed. "You're my emergency contact," he said in a huff.

Montserrat gasped lightly then, eyebrows raising with pleasant shock. "Am I really?"

"Yes, but you're making me regret it—"

"No, no, I promise I'm good! That's nice to hear, I…" Montserrat could feel the familiar spread of butterflies in her stomach. "When did you…when did you decide to do that?"

"I don't know, a bit back? Is that — are you okay with that?"

"Of course! Yes!" Montserrat was a smiling mess, a deep difference from the past day. She leaned over, carefully, and pressed a kiss on Rafael's lips. "Thank you for that trust in me." There was something else she wanted to desperately say to him but she felt the timing was off and perhaps even imprudent on her part.

Even if Rafael said nothing of it, Montserrat still noticed the subtle scrunch of his nose and the twitch of his mouth every now and then from the pain he obviously felt. He just didn't want to tell her about it — it wasn't shocking for her. He barely got used to the idea of asking her for help in far less serious situations so this situation would require a lot more effort from his side and she wanted to make it as easy as possible for him.

"Do you need anything?" She asked him, "I don't know, like a drink or something? And by that I mean water, of course."

"Damn, and I was just about to ask you for some scotch…"

"I would smack you right now if you weren't hurt!" Montserrat sighed and shook her head. "So listen, I really hate asking you this right now but I need to help so…about that night…"

Rafael already started turning his head away from her. He knew exactly what was coming.

"Do you remember what happened?" Montserrat wanted to be as cautious as possible for his sake. It was physically painful enough and now he would have to deal with any mental trauma he suffered from that evening.

"...a little," he did answer albeit in a low mutter.

"Okay, um, well there is that cashier — Clara?"

At the mention of the young woman, Rafael immediately looked back at Montserrat. "Is she okay!?" He truly didn't remember much after hearing the sound of the gun firing. He was in and out of consciousness but he did have slight memories of the young woman terrified in the shop.

"Yes, she is," Montserrat nodded, smiling lightly. "Did you know she's a med student? I was told she helped keep you stable while the ambulance got to you guys. She called 911. I absolutely love her."

It was Rafael's turn to smile. "Should I be worried?"

Montserrat let out a weary sigh but her broad smile defeated any attempt to sound annoyed. "Shut up."

"I want to tell her thank you," Rafael said a moment later. "She was so scared. I may have yelled at her."

"Lots of people react differently in situations like those. It's a flight or fight thing — you chose fight, she chose flight. All involuntary of course. But please, don't ever choose to 'fight' with a robber."

"Oh, but you can?" Rafael countered on the spot. His smirk didn't help. "You carry — you do that for a living. The way you feel right now is what I always feel about you..."

"I know, I know," sighed Montserrat. This was a conversation she didn't like having because Rafael always had the right. His concerns were right, his points made sense.

Rafael gripped Montserrat's hand as much as he could, which wasn't very much if Montserrat was honest with him. She wouldn't tell him. "I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you this is something we can't control," he told her. "I'm sorry I worried you. I didn't…I didn't see the guy getting up…"

"So you do remember some things, then?"

"Yes…but it's still mostly fuzzy…" If there was one thing Rafael didn't want to do right now, it was having to lie to Montserrat. His gaze lowered to their interlocked hands, which fueled his reasons all over again. "I don't know what they put in my body but I couldn't even tell you my birthday right now."

Montserrat smiled sweetly at him. "I'll make a full list about you when you get home. We can go over it together." She scooted her chair even closer to the bed. "Because when you get out of here, you have two choices about what's going to happen."

"Oh, do I?" Rafael blinked, bemused with the revelation.

Montserrat nodded. "Yup. You have a bullet wound and you need to take care of it. You won't be able to move around so easily — you won't be working," she said the last part as a full on threat in case he had the idea of even discussing the matter. "So, when you get out of here, you can either come home with me where I can help you out."

"Not happening," Rafael said on the spot. "You live with Kara and by extension Carisi. Haven't I been through enough already?"

Montserrat deadpanned him for a short minute. She was honestly expecting a response like that. "Then your other option — and your only other one — is that I come stay with you at your place for a while."

"You'd be willing to do that?"

"Yes, of course. I want to help you and I can't do that if I'm at my own place."

"Montserrat, that's sweet of you and I appreciate it but I don't need help —"

"Yes, you do," Montserrat nodded. This was also something else she anticipated and was well prepared to handle. "Raf, you can't live by yourself right now. Until you can go up and down the stairs on your own, I will be staying with you."

"It's not that the idea of having you around isn't pleasant — because it is — but I don't need you giving up your time just to take care of me." Even as he said it out loud, Rafael thought it was ridiculous. "I can manage on my own. I always do."

"Tough luck because it's not just about you anymore," Montserrat countered with a wry smile, "To your misfortune, and mine, I like you very much. With all your sarcasm and hard attitude, but I like you."

Rafael rolled his eyes at Montserrat. It was, of course, nice to hear something like that but it still didn't take away the feeling of impotence either. There were many things out of his control and Rafael was not used to it.

"Montse—"

"Let me do this, please," Montserrat insisted earnestly. "You're right. I was dead worried about you and, yeah, I want to be close to you for the next couple days because of it. I promise I'll try not to bombard you, okay?" She squeezed his hand in hers. "Please?"

This was a battle he had already lost and Rafael knew it. For all he knew, half her things were already in his apartment. That's not the worst thing that could happen. No, no it absolutely wasn't. Rafael sighed. What he would have given for this conversation to be part of a much better situation than the one they were in right now.

"You can go back home anytime, alright?" He said, instantly earning a beam from Montserrat. "You don't have to stay more than you want and you definitely don't have to do anything for me."

"I don't understand how you graduated from Harvard. You're seriously so stupid," Montserrat said quite honestly, which prompted a hard deadpan from Rafael in return. Montserrat let out a laugh in the next second. "But I want you just the way you are! I missed it all!" She leaned over to give him another kiss. "I missed you," she whispered afterwards. "I know it's insane to say that when we saw each other — what, yesterday? — but I really did miss you so much."

Even while saying it, she still sounded so afraid like he would fall under again. Rafael felt so guilty even while knowing this was way out of his control.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," he insisted for her sake. He wished he could get up from the stupid bed and show her — ease her fear and worries. "I don't want you worrying anymore, okay? Calmada."

"I cannot be calm when you're in this situation," Montserrat promptly huffed. "You went ballistic when I had a scratch on my back! I have every right not to be calm about this. Who did this to you? Do you remember anything about the guy?"

Rafael's mind was slow with all the medication, so coming up with a good excuse was even harder than usual. Luckily for him, Olivia returned at that moment.

"Sorry, that was Rollins," the Sergeant said, "She and Fin are going through some possible witnesses." She approached the foot of the bed slowly, both hands in front of her. "Do you think you can give your statement right now?"

Rafael shifted, and in doing so felt a jab of pain on his side.

"Or we could wait…" Olivia said, mistaking his shift for uneasiness.

"I'm good," he said immediately. He glanced at Montserrat, and a moment later he was asking her: "Maybe I do need something after all."

Montserrat nodded. "Anything," she encouraged, "What do you need?"

"A damn glass of water," he said, "They pump meds all night and day and I don't get to eat anything. I'm so thirsty."

"I'll go see what I can do," Montserrat smiled slyly, "Flash my badge and all."

Rafael smiled at her. He knew very well that she would. "Thank you."

"Of course." Montserrat gave his hand a pat then stood up, turning to Olivia. "Keep an eye on him?"

"Oh yeah," Olivia pressed a finger to her cheek then pointed at Rafael.

Montserrat still left with some reluctance, especially when Olivia mentioned that Lucia was asking for her.

"My mother's still here?" Rafael asked, eyebrows raised.

Olivia nodded. "Oh yeah, she's made it clear she's not stepping away for a while."

"She should go home, like you all. I don't need babysitters," Rafael said, shaking his head.

"Oh no, you're not paying Montserrat with that coin when she's had to deal with your mother."

At Olivia's words, Rafael turned his head slightly. "What do you mean by that? Has she been giving Montserrat a hard time?" He wouldn't put it behind his mother given the situation.

Olivia reluctantly nodded. "Yeah. Novak made the call to inform your mother about the situation earlier in the morning. She didn't want Lucia going through a sleepless night like her, much less your grandmother. Lucia didn't like that."

"Is she kidding?" Rafael snapped, not at Olivia but at the situation. "She just told me she hasn't told my grandmother anything about this." He loved his mother, he did, but sometimes she could be a…

"Montserrat didn't tell you?" Olivia assumed with Rafael's reaction. "She probably didn't want to add to your stress."

"Of course," groaned Rafael, although he soon stopped when he discovered it hurt him. "I'll have a word with my mother."

"Sorry," Olivia said guiltily, "I didn't mean to…you know…"

"No, I'm glad you did," said Rafael sharply, "Because Montserrat wouldn't tell me." Nobody would make her life harder than it had to be, not if he could help it. "Don't even tell her that I know."

"Understood," nodded Olivia. "So, about the case…"

"I need you to do something for me," Rafael said out of the blue, startling Olivia.

"Uh, yeah, of course…" Olivia nodded slowly, "What-what do you need?"

Before answering, Rafael's gaze flickered to the door. Montserrat would be away for a while, hopefully. "I need you to close this case."

"Excuse me?" Olivia tilted her head, presuming she heard wrong.

"You heard me," Rafael said, meeting her gaze. "I want the case closed. Cold case, if it must be."

"I don't — I don't understand…" Olivia rubbed her temple, "You want us to…"

"Close the case, yes," Rafael nodded. 'That's exactly what I want you to do. It's my case, and that's what I'm asking for."

"Why?" Olivia never thought she would have to have this kind of conversation with him. If there's anyone who always said what he wanted, it was Rafael. This made no sense. "Are you still processing what happened? Do you need —"

"I already processed it and this is what I need to happen," Rafael said, sounding very sure of himself. "I know what happens next and I'm not doing that."

"Because of a trial? Rafael, you know that's the natural order of thi—"

"I know," Rafael cut Olivia, his sense of impatience growing. "Believe me, Liv, I know what happens next. I know that you will eventually catch this guy and it will go to trial. I know that their defense attorney will start playing tricks and turn things around for their benefit."

"So you're afraid?" Olivia guessed. "That's also normal…"

"I'm not afraid," Rafael clarified, "I would gladly go along with every part of the process but this isn't about me. It was never about me."

Olivia was utterly lost. She rubbed her forehead relentlessly, leaving faint red marks on her skin. "You're going to have to explain this a little better because I'm not understanding. You don't want us to proceed with the case, you don't want a trial, but you're not scared?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Rafael confirmed, "And you, as my friend and more importantly the Sergeant here, need to help me."

"Why? Why do you want me to do that!?"

"Because that man worked for someone I get the feeling has been watching us for a while now."

Olivia presumed that the struggle she saw in Rafael was for himself. His hands balled into fists on either side of him. His lips pursed together enough to scrunch his nose automatically. But once again, Olivia was wrong because as Rafael had said earlier, this wasn't about him.

"He's been watching Montserrat," he spat darkly. The idea sent him into a frenzy and the only thing stopping its full fledged form was the aching throb he felt on the side of his stomach.

Olivia looked at Rafael both curiously and alarmed. "Why…why would you think that?"

"Because that man told me," Rafael replied, giving the impression that he remembered exactly what happened last night.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"You and I are the only ones who know what happened to Montserrat before she transferred here, so this should be easy to understand," Rafael said, only taking a moment because he abhorred what he had to say next. "That man who hurt her — he's watching her. I don't know how, I don't know when, but he's still got eyes on her."

Olivia was keenly aware of the rising noise from the machine beside the bed. One of them was connected to Rafael's finger — a blood pressure measure. "I think you need to—"

"It makes sense now, what Little Tino told Montserrat when we visited him in jail. He told Montserrat that there was a rule in place…"

The beeps got slightly louder.

"Raf—"

"Nobody lays a finger on the redhead," Rafael repeated the words he now hated himself for. He completely missed them at that moment. A deep scowl marked his face. "He has rules, Olivia, about her, about Montserrat — in his eyes, she belongs to him. I can't — he's just—"

"Rafael!" Olivia snapped to get his attention. She moved to his bedside, urgently motioning him to calm down.

"Liv, we can't let him keep watching her," he told her, finally sounding what he truly was: frightened. He was scared, but not for him. "We can't let this keep going. He's—"

Olivia nodded and once again motioned him to calm down. "You need to take it easy. You have stitches. They can burst," she reminded him. She grabbed Montserrat's chair to sit down. "Okay, you're going to have to walk me through this so that we're on the same page about what happened. Only then we can decide how to proceed from here."

"Fine, whatever, but you can't tell Montserrat anything about this."

"I can't promise that but we can work together to come up with the best solution," Olivia said.

It wasn't good enough for Rafael. He needed to hear it out loud…but he knew he was asking the impossible from Olivia. He'd been on that side plenty of times. It was hypocritical of him to be asking the same thing he denied so many times before.

Yes, he was being hypocritical.

Yes, he was being unreasonable.

But he just didn't care.

He didn't care about anything, not even the frikin stitches throbbing on his side right now. The only thing he cared about was currently outside, getting something he asked her for. She was all he cared about. So damn everything else.

#ocapp #allaboutocs #ochub #fd: svu #Rafael Barba fics #Rafael Barba imagines #Rafael Barba x oc #SVU fics #svu imagines #law and order fics #law and order imagines #original characters #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget

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saiilorstars · 4 months

Text

Ch. 59: Fearing the Unknown

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message]

Montserrat made a mental note to replenish the bottle of scotch in the kitchen. Granted she was sure that Rafael was responsible for drinking most of it but since she took the last pour, he would definitely blame her.

He's lucky I like him enough to buy another bottle for him. She smirked to herself. She supposed it was fair in these cases. He bought her tons of sweets. She was expecting her bag of desserts to be arriving any second now.

When she heard her phone buzzing on the counter, she presumed it was Rafael apologizing for being so late. She answered the call, though did notice it was an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Montserrat Novak?"

"Yes, who is this?"

She should have never asked. One moment, she was drinking scotch and the next she was almost having a heart attack. Scotch abandoned — spilling over the counter — she was bolting to the hospital. An outright mess, she yelled her questions and demanded answers at the front desk in the E.R. room. She couldn't possibly think one coherent thought at the moment, not until she knew what exactly was going on.

The nurse behind the desk, bless her heart, remained absolutely at ease. She was used to it. "Ma'am, you need to calm down," she told Montserrat.

But such a suggestion was out of the question.

"I got a call telling me that my boyfriend was shot and he was taken here! SO WHERE IS HE!?" Montserrat's fists came down on the desk, rattling a bowl of pens on the side and yet none of that fazed the nurse. She was about to pull her shield out if that were to make things move faster when someone cut in.

"Scuse me?"

Montserrat's head flipped in the direction of the voice, immediately spotting a young woman trying to approach her. She didn't blame the woman; she probably looked horrific right now. The woman's blonde hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her face seemed as disconcerted as Montserrat. What the latter noticed, however, were the dry stains of blood on the blonde's shirt and thighs.

"Are you the girlfriend who likes sweets?" the blonde asked cautiously.

Montserrat had no idea what the hell was going on but now she understood even less. She turned away from the desk for a moment, nodding her head at the question. "Who the hell are you?"

The blonde cleared her throat, one hand coming up to rub the side of her neck. "I'm Clara, um…I'm the one…I made the 911 call. I think he was your, uh..."

Montserrat's eyes widened. Screw the nurse. She ran up to Clara, startling the woman when she yelled. "What happened!?" She practically shook Clara as she begged for answers. She ignored the nurse behind them calling for calmness.

"Um, he, your boyfriend, he was, um…he was buying pastries and we were, um, we were talking about blueberry champagne donuts and then suddenly…" Clara's eyes shined with tears, the fear still etched across her face, "This man came in with a gun…he was going to rob us but…" She shook her head, "He told me to get on the floor so I did. I heard them talk for a bit — Rafael hit him or something, I didn't see — and then he told me to make the call. I was in slow-mo so he went for his phone instead. It was at the other end of the room. The guy shot him."

As far as that story went, it wasn't the worst one Montserrat had heard in her line of job. Clara seemed more than traumatized but she was still able to retell the story of the incident decently.

Montserrat was always a cop in these situations. She had a clear mind of what protocols looked like and what she should do. Right now, she couldn't remember a damn thing. "O-okay," she nodded her head, turning away from Clara. Now she was shaking. "Oh…okay…okay…"

"Ma'am, you need to sit down..." The nurse hurried over as Montserrat's legs started buckling.

Everything was ringing in her ears at the moment. How she managed to get to the hospital in the first place was beyond her. "I-I-I don't understand h-how…I don't understand…" Montserrat couldn't finish her sentence for lack of air and thoughts.

The nurse and Clara sat her down in one of the waiting seats.

"Ma'am, you might need to see a doctor," the nurse said, but Montserrat didn't hear.

"We were going to have dinner…dessert…" She swallowed hard. Her eyes shifted from side to side, taking in the busy room. "He called me..." That call couldn't have been more than half an hour ago. What happened?

"Ma'am, let's get you to—"

"No!" Montserrat pulled her arm back as soon as the nurse tried making her stand.

"But you're—"

"I said no!" Montserrat snapped. "What I want is to see my boyfriend! What I want is to know why the hell he was shot! There's many things I want to know and seeing a damn doctor is not on that list so GO!"

Clara watched the nurse let out a frustrated sigh and retreat to the desk. She was sure that once Montserrat calmed down, she would probably apologize to that poor nurse.

Montserrat rested her elbows on her lap and leaned her head into her hands. Clara felt awful.

"Yeah, I was there," she sighed, "I froze. I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never even been mugged. Tonight…I almost saw God."

Montserrat finally glanced at Clara. She seemed very young now. Her eyes fell down to the stains. "The blood…"

"Oh," Clara looked at her stained jeans, "Um..." she was very hesitant to explain, even though Montserrat was pretty sure she knew what Clara wanted to say. "Uh, it's...it's his. I'm sorry."

Montserrat felt very sick. It had been a long time since she threw up but tonight might be the night she went through it again. "Wh-where did...where was the bul...?"

"The bullet went near the stomach and kidney, I think. I needed to stop the blood until the paramedics got there. I'm in medical school…" Clara let her head hang low, "Fat lot of good that did "

"You stopped the blood," Montserrat put a hand on Clara's arm. "He's here, isn't he? That's because of you." And that is what she was clinging to right now. Rafael wasn't gone. He was still here, somewhere in a room.

"They took him into surgery," Clara said, "I...I haven't heard anything."

Montserrat nodded. She took in another breath — several ones — to calm herself down. She looked at Clara again and the stains on her clothes. "Have you been checked?"

Clara nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I...nothing happened to me."

"Yes it did," Montserrat said. "You're not physically hurt but mentally? Have you called someone yet? For you? Parents?"

Clara shook her head. "No, I, um, I didn't even think about it, honestly."

"You should, at least so you're not alone."

"I'm not alone," Clara offered her a small smile.

Montserrat couldn't really manage any kind of chuckle. She felt like right now she could only focus on continuing her breathing. She could only do one thing at a time. "Well, you should rest, then. I'm not...I'm not going anywhere." No way in hell she was going anywhere. She always thought she would never have to be anything related to the word 'victim' again, but somehow this felt a thousand times worse than the last time.

"I'm going to stay with you," Clara said, "They only gave me so much information and since you're his girlfriend, they'll tell you more. I can't leave without knowing if he's going to be okay. He saved my life."

Montserrat nodded shakily. "Thank you." She gulped. She looked at the reception desk, suddenly regretting her treatment of the nurse. With Clara's help, she stood up and walked over to the nurse to ask her (more calmly this time) about Rafael.

He was indeed in surgery and there was no time stamp on when he would be out. The next hours would be agonizingly long and it wouldn't be until Clara asked if there was anyone else who would want to be there with Montserrat that the latter remembered — family.

"Oh God," Montserrat sunk in her chair again, bringing one hand over her hair. "If his grandmother finds out, she'll have an actual heart attack!" She checked the time on the clock on the wall. "They're both probably sleeping."

If anything, she would have to talk with Lucia first to decide how they would tell Catalina. And right now, she really saw no point in getting Lucia out of bed to come down to the hospital to wait on uncomfortable chairs. For the time being, Montserrat settled for calling the others. She went with the obvious for reasons and only because they would notice she wasn't coming home the next morning.

"Montserrat!" Kara exclaimed as soon as she spotted her best friend in the waiting room.

Montserrat raised her gaze off the floor just as Kara and Sonny joined her. She looked exhausted and that was more than when they closed the case earlier.

Kara enveloped Montserrat in a tight hug. "Oh my goodness, how did this happen?"

Montserrat's shoulders slumped together. "I'm still trying to understand," she said weakly. No amount of coffee could stop her voice from shaking. "Clara — the-the barista where he was said somebody tried robbing them. He had a gun…"

The rest was pretty obvious.

"Did the girl get a look at him?" asked Sonny, already in detective mode. It was impossible to turn off, especially when it dealt with their own. Montserrat envied him at the moment because try as she might, she could not go into the same mode.

"I don't know," she said, sounding even more exhausted, "She says he wore a ski mask. She said, she said Raf—he talked to the man…"

"Okay, okay," Sonny knew this was probably the worst time to be talking about what happened. All Montserrat could think of was the pending surgery and that was completely fine. He could take the rest. "I'm going to call Liv, okay?"

"No…" Montserrat barely shook her head, "She's got baby Noah and…it's late."

"She would want to know, Montserrat," Sonny said, "If it was about anyone else, she would want to know. I'm calling her, okay?" Montserrat had no choice but to agree. "And that barista, do you know where she is right now?"

"She's in the cafeteria getting us some coffee. She's the one who made the 911 call," Montserrat sniffed, fresh tears brimming in her eyes, "She tended to the wound…" She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the tears from escaping, "She said there was a lot of blood and—" Her hands motioned in front of her stomach. She couldn't say more.

"Oh Montse," Kara took her best friend into another hug. At that point, Montserrat couldn't help from bursting into tears.

~ 0 ~

Kara stayed at the hospital to keep Montserrat company while Sonny took Clara back to the dessert shop. He had already called to inform Olivia and was waiting for them at the crime scene.

"Hey, no one else?" Sonny asked Olivia as soon as he saw she was by herself with the local officers.

"I have Rollins and Finn at the precinct doing security feed diligence," Olivia explained, "I'm giving Amaro a few days to, uh, digest…"

Sonny nodded. He wholeheartedly agreed that Nick needed a bit of rest after the case with his father. "Uh, well, this is Clara," he gestured to Clara beside him, "She was with Barba when everything happened."

Clara gave a bleak wave of her hand. It was clear she would rather be anywhere else than the shop.

"Sargeant Benson," Olivia introduced herself to the woman and shook hands with her. "I'm so sorry about this."

"Not as sorry as I am for your friend," Clara replied, causing a brief exchange of glances between the cops. "I should have done more but I…I was in slow motion. I can tell now — it's why he got distracted. I didn't get the phone so he went for his and that's when the other guy took his chance. If I would have just listened—"

"Hey, no, it's not your fault this happened," Olivia stepped in to clarify. "Let's just focus on what we can do right now and you, Clara, can do a lot for Rafael right now. Can you take us through the whole thing here?"

Clara nodded. She took a few steps towards the counter. "I was over there, waiting for your friend to order. He, um, he was on the phone. He pointed at the things he wanted but he didn't talk to me until after he hung up."

"Okay, alright, and then what happened?" Olivia said as she and Sonny followed her around the counter.

"He said he wanted to buy sweets — his girlfriend liked sweets a lot."

"And then?"

"I told him about the blueberry champagne donuts…" Clara trailed off seeing the infamous donuts on the floor near the counter and a couple still on the counter where she had left them. "We were going back and forth with them. I told him it was a compromise since they're sweets and alcohol. He told me he wanted four so I went to grab a bag…" She paused, taking a moment to force herself to swallow down and not get overwhelmed thinking about what had come next. "And then he came in."

"The man with the ski mask?" Sonny presumed, glancing back at the entry doors. Nothing had been broken. The perp had come in easily and left as such.

"Yeah," Clara said quietly, her eyes falling over the metal tray stand on the floor, "Your friend talked to him. I was on the floor — the thief wanted me there — and they talked for a couple minutes."

"Was Rafael trying to talk him down?" Olivia presumed.

"I think so. He sounded really mad..."

"Of course," Sonny playfully rolled his eyes. Even in situations like these, Rafael would still find something to be mad about.

"And then I heard the metal tray. The guy fell, I think. I don't know, there were a lot of movement sounds after that until Rafael told me to get the phone."

Olivia stopped by the tray on the floor and studied the angle. She positioned herself as accurately as she could be to see how the situation must have gone by. Rafael was at the counter, he grabbed the closest thing to him and used it as a weapon. The perp fell. She'd check in with Amanda and Fin to confirm.

"If he was here, how did he end up on the floor all the way over there?" Sonny pointed to the spot near the glass wall, halfway across the shop.

"I told you, I wasn't moving fast enough," Clara said, feeling even more distressed now that she was thinking more clearly about it. "I should have moved but I didn't. So, he went for his phone."

"His phone was over there?" Olivia tilted her head, eyes gazing the distance between her current position and where the phone allegedly was.

"Yes," Clara nodded, noticing the strange looks the cops were sharing. "Do you guys not believe me?" That was the last thing she needed. "I-I'm not lying—"

"No, no, it's not that," Sonny mumbled. He went to the spot where Rafael had fallen, preferring not to focus so much on the dried blood stain on the floor. "The phone was here — why?"

Clara shrugged. "I don't know, the guy told him to throw his phone away."

"Throw his phone?" Sonny looked back, frowning.

"Yes!" Clara exclaimed. "Do you guys really think I'm making this up or what!? Why are you looking at me like that!?"

"Clara," Olivia started, putting her hands together, "The officers said nothing was taken from the register."

"Yeah, that's right," Clara confirmed.

"Okay, and he told Rafael to give his phone up but didn't take it."

"Yes!" Clara groaned. "Why!?"

Sonny walked back to the two, grim and serious. "This was never a robbery. Nothing was stolen, nothing was even damaged besides what Rafael used. This was all planned."

~ 0 ~

As soon as Olivia and Sonny returned to the precinct, they relayed their discovery to Amanda and Fin in the bullpen.

"You think this was a homicide?" Amanda was surprised and yet, after a couple seconds thinking about it, felt like it wasn't such a stretch. Their search through the security cameras didn't bring up much except for the unfortunate incident. The perp wasn't identifiable either under the mask.

"Attempted," Finn corrected, "Barba's not gone yet."

"What does Montserrat say about this?" Amanda wondered how erratic Montserrat would be with the news. She imagined Montserrat was already past frantic at the moment; this would make it all so much worse.

"We...haven't told her yet," Olivia admitted.

"She doesn't need to know about it right now," Sonny said sharply, intending for that to be the only warning Amanda and Fin needed to keep quiet. "We can take care of the technicalities on our own."

"Alright, so we run with this angle," Fin started, leaning back in his seat, "It doesn't exactly give us a small suspect pool. Barba's processed too many people to count."

Olivia agreed with Fin. "Let's start looking at the ones that have been recently released, if any. We'll work from there."

"Are we even allowed to work this case?" Amanda made the question once the tasks started being handed out. "We won't get IAB or anything?"

"I'd like to see them try," Olivia half smiled. That was a warning all on its own. "Besides, once I get done speaking with the D.A., I'm sure they'll want this seen to the end."

~0~

Kara returned from the cafeteria with two cups of coffee for her and Montserrat. She sat down beside the ginger, expecting the dead silence. It seemed like Montserrat had cried all she needed. Kara sighed and placed the cups of coffee on the side table stacked with magazines. She honestly thought silence was worse than tears.

"Montserrat — hey, stop that," Kara said, reaching to take Montserrat's hands apart. She was back to picking her nails. "You haven't done that in ages."

"I haven't had strong reasons," Montserrat mumbled.

Kara squeezed Montserrat's hands in hers. "You shouldn't. Rafael is not going to want to see your nails like that again."

"He knows why," Montserrat said quietly. At the moment, she didn't care if her double meanings were understood or not.

"It doesn't mean he would want to see that happen again," Kara reiterated, patting Montserrat's hands. "I'll do your nails later." She already saw spots of dried blood around Montserrat's nails.

"Hey, Novak!"

Montserrat's head snapped up, eyes falling on Nick just as he came to a sprinted stop beside their chairs. "Nick? What are you doing here? You've got the days off—"

"Forget about that," Nick said quickly, "Rollins texted me. How's Barba?"

"Still in surgery," Montserrat replied, "We've been waiting for someone to come out and tell us something — anything, at this point, really."

"Hey, it'll be alright," Nick said, bending down in front of Montserrat to hug her. "Guy like Barba — he doesn't go down that easily. I actually pity the fool who did this to him because when Barba gets through with him...yeah…"

Montserrat wanted nothing more than to take refuge in Nick's words. She thought he was right. Rafael was strong. He didn't go down without a fight. It's what he did for a living. But she couldn't find the strength to think like that right now. She couldn't see past the end of the surgery. Until the doctors came out and told her that everything was fine, she couldn't think of anything else.

"Thanks for coming," Montserrat settled for the polite thing to do at the moment. She pulled back from Nick, offering what she hoped was a decent little smile. She knew she looked like a mess right now.

"You said it, we're friends," Nick said, "And I want to be a better company for you than I was earlier. What you said about my father...you may have been right and I'll work on it."

Montserrat appreciated his honesty. "It's a long process, trust me. Still working on it myself."

"Maybe we can work on it together," Nick suggested, causing a small chuckle between the two. "In the meantime, I'm going to stay here with you."

"But your daughter…" Montserrat didn't want him to waste his only days with his daughter before she had to go back to L.A.

"She'll be sleeping until noon," Nick waved it off. "Don't worry." He gave an acknowledging nod at Kara before taking the seat on Montserrat's other side.

From there, the three of them began their collective waiting.

~0~

"Okay, so there were only three recently released convicts that were processed by Barba," Amanda told the others at the conference table. "We've eliminated one because of an alibi. He was working at the time of the assault."

"And the other two?" asked Olivia.

"Fin and I are about to go talk to the second one right now," Amanda said, getting an agreeing nod from Fin beside her.

"And the security feed?" Olivia turned eyes to Sonny who sat one chair down from her. He was engrossed in his laptop, watching the security feed of the dessert shop.

"The guy's in a ski mask all the time," he informed, eyes flickering up from the screen, "But Barba does clock him." He tried his best not to let any amusement slip from him but the fall of the suspect was more than hilarious. "Twice."

"Least the guy will have a mark to identify him with," Fin remarked.

"Anything else?" Olivia prompted them to keep the conversation going. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and reached inside for it.

"Clara was right," Sonny said, resigned. "The guy makes Barba throw his phone but he doesn't even take it. He doesn't even go near the register. He just talks to Barba then tries to shoot him."

"Yeah, we saw that too," Amanda said. "Robberies don't usually go down like that."

"But without Barba, we can't know what they were talking about," Sonny said, closing his laptop. He'd already seen the shooting and would rather not go for a repeat. "Because whatever they were talking about, it seemed to put both of them on edge."

"We'll have to wait until he's conscious then," Fin said.

"Well maybe we can start now," Olivia cut into the discussion as she looked up from her phone. "Surgery's done. Barba's out."

~0~

The group of detectives met the others at the hospital just as Montserrat was finished talking with the doctor. Her walk back to the group was slow, obviously exhausted, but nobody said a thing. They waited anxiously to hear the news.

"The surgery went fine," she said slowly, "But he's still unconscious. We have to wait to see how his body will react."

"Okay, well, we got past one bad step," Olivia said, hoping that would cheer Montserrat a bit. "He'll be okay, you'll see."

"I was telling Montserrat since Rafael's going to be out for a couple more hours, she should go home and get some rest," Kara said with eyes sharp and fixated on Sonny for backup. "She hasn't slept at all."

Sonny was quick to agree and, thankfully, so were the others.

"I can drive you over there," Sonny offered since he'd driven Kara to the hospital in the first place. "You need to eat something too. We can stop on the way for some take out."

Montserrat shook her head. "No, no, I don't want to leave him. And I'm not hungry."

"He probably won't wake up for a while, Montse," Sonny insisted, "He won't even know you're gone."

"I'll know," Montserrat argued, "I don't want to leave him here."

"How about this," Nick step forwards, "I can stay here while you go home. You rest, eat, shower — take care of yourself before you come back here, alright?"

Montserrat looked at the others. While they didn't outright say it, she was smart enough to know that this fight was lost the moment it started. They were just being kind enough to pretend that she had a choice. If she didn't walk out, they would drag her out.

"I will be back soon," she warned them. "Just...just gonna change and—"

"Sleep," Kara finished for her and wrapped her arm around Montserrat's. "Even just a nap! Sonny, let's go!" She was quick to start walking with Montserrat before the latter started putting up a fight.

~0~

One hour later, Kara was coming out of Montserrat's room with a tray of half eaten food. Sonny was finishing up a call when she joined him. She placed the tray of food on the table with a sigh. "She didn't eat very much."

Sonny made that conclusion with the half eaten sandwich still on the tray. "At least she drank," he nodded at the empty glass next to the plate. "She's sleeping?"

"Yeah," Kara shrugged, revealing a smirk. "I slipped in some nyquil."

Sonny openly gaped at her. "Kara!"

"Well!" Kara threw her hands above her head. "You heard her before we even walked into the apartment! Montserrat was swearing up and down that she wasn't going to sleep. She was only coming to shower and eat and head back to the hospital. I had to do something!"

"So you slipped Nyquill into her drink!?" Sometimes, Sonny couldn't believe half the things that came out of his mouth where Kara was involved. "You — you are insane!"

"Oh calm down, she's sleeping isn't she?"

"Not by choice!"

"She will be fine and well rested. She needs to sleep, doesn't she?"

Sonny knew he could stand there and argue with Kara all day long and still somehow lose. "You — she's going to kill you," he warned Kara instead. "She's absolutely going to kill you."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take," Kara smiled. "And she won't even know about the Nyquill. She'll just think she was so tired that she fell asleep."

Sonny shook his head. On some level, Kara was helping Montserrat out but it still didn't feel right.

"Let's move on," Kara suggested, something that Sonny could agree on given that he would have to leave soon. "What's going on with the case?"

"You know I can't tell you," Sonny gave her a look, one that Kara gave right back.

"Don't even waste time with that. You've told me about other cases."

"Difference being you weren't involved with the other cases," Sonny pointed out, "You are Montserrat's best friend. Anything I tell you, you're going to tell her and she's not up to hear any of this right now."

Kara took a moment to read between the lines. "Wait a damn minute, what can't Montserrat know? What did you find, Dominick?"

"Oh no," Sonny pointed at her, "Only my mother does that. You're not doing that!"

Kara rolled her eyes again. "Can we please just skip through all this!? What did you find out!?"

"Montserrat can't know anything! Promise me you won't tell her!"

"C'mon, we're not—"

"Promise me, Kara!" Sonny demanded. "Otherwise I will not tell you anything."

Now it was Kara who saw herself without options. She groaned. "Fine, I promise! Now tell me what you know!"

Sonny was still reluctant but, because he trusted Kara, he told her what they learned so far. By the time he was done, Kara had already sat down in the nearest chair. Her mouth was open in shock, eyes wide to match. "You think somebody wanted to hurt Rafael on purpose? Why?"

"He's a prosecutor. Unfortunately, it comes with the job," Sonny said. "It wouldn't be the first time a case like this happened."

"Okay, well...now I get why you don't want Montse to find out about this," sighed Kara. "But you do know that she will eventually find out and she'll kill you specifically because you're her partner and you didn't tell her." She reached forward and shoved Sonny. "And then you'll have me worrying about you because you're going to be dead."

Sonny half smiled at her. "It's a chance I'm willing to take." Kara deadpanned him for his use of her words. "I'm sorry. This is just for the better. Montserrat's head is all over the place. This will only just make it worse."

"I see your point but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty," Kara mumbled.

"We'll tell Montserrat eventually, I promise," Sonny said, "But for now, it's best to wait until things are better."

"Okay, fine," nodded Kara. "So what happens now?"

"We keep investigating," Sonny said, "We're rounding up possible suspects but honestly it's not going so well. There's too many to go through. Barba's worked as a prosecutor for a long time."

"Why don't you ask Casey Novak for help?" Kara's suggestion was both startling and puzzling. "Doesn't she work with Rafael on some cases? They're close at work. If anything, she can help you weed out the suspects."

Sonny started smiling widely. "Now I remember why I love you."

"Oh," Kara's voice went sharp enough to make Sonny wince, "So you didn't love me for a moment back there?"

"No, I just meant—" Once she got started again, Sonny started wondering if there was any more Nyquil left.

#ocapp #ochub #allaboutocs #fd: svu #svu #rafael barba #rafael barba imagines #rafael barba fics #rafael barba x oc #svu fics #svu imagines #svu ocs #law and order #law and order svu fics #law and order imagines #law and order svu ocs #oc: montserrat novak #fic: dare to forget me

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