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fakeboitherottengirl · 2 years

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I really should be a rental-sister I wish that were a job in America, Im SO GOOD at getting males to open up and they feel so safe and non-threatened by me Ive had so many of my autistic guy friends tell me “ur the only girl who isn’t mean/scary” and even as early as elementary school I would always do shit like invite the special ed boy in class to sit at our table/play with us at recess (to the point where it pissed off my friends). I feel like so many of these guys are taken aback by any display of kindness but especially from a female, I feel like Im serving my community and giving them a better attitude toward women in general by interacting with them in a positive, non-judgmental way and just talking to them like human beings, so many of them are so unused to the smallest amount of kindness. My one friend once broke down crying when I gave him a hug because he was so touch-starved. These men that are getting swallowed up by PUAs and Incel circles CAN be reached, CAN be saved, CAN be rehabilitated and the best way we can do that is by reaching out to them on a human level and just showing them that women are people too, we aren’t all mean or scary, we aren’t some monolith, we don’t need to be put on a pedestal or feared, we are just humans with vulvas. The easiest way to get these men to see women as people (especially given how difficult autism makes it to realize/believe that anybody else is autonomous) is just to act like human beings to them. Most of these guys are not bad people when you get to know them and them being able to say “I know a female who is not only a nice person but a fully autonomous one” can change their entire outlook on women

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naancydrew · 4 years

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ranking the nancy drew games based on dead mom content™

you read that right. also spoiler warning obviously

33. ransom of the seven ships -1/10 no dead mom content. negative bc of the fact that there’s blackface

32-24. stay tuned for danger, message in a haunted mansion, the final scene, secret of the scarlet hand, ghost dogs of moon lake, danger on deception island, the secret of shadow ranch, danger by design, the shattered medallion 0/10 no dead mom content™

23. the captive curse 0/10 no mom mentioned for lukas, is she dead or just somewhere else? we just don’t know.

22-21. secrets can kill, the deadly device 0.5/10 someone is dead but it is not a mom

20. the phantom of venice .75/10 only a dead husband here...no moms

19. treasure in the royal tower 1/10 no dead mom but there’s dead estranged dad content. was marie antoinette a mom? idk

18. the white wolf of icicle creek 1/10 kinda estranged mom content but shes still alive. yanni’s grandma was killed by wolves if that counts and if he was telling the truth about that.

17. alibi in ashes 2/10 i cant remember if kate is ever mentioned, but just the fact that they’re in river heights and carson is gone and can’t help and she doesn’t have kate to help her out and has to go to her friends....idk hits if u think about it

16. last train to blue moon canyon 3/10 camille hurley was not able to have kids so technically isn’t a dead mom but she had her dolls....still sad as hell

15. curse of blackmoor manor 4/10 we learn about the penvellyn family so of course a family full of dead ancestors is full of dead mothers. one of those dead mothers is the iconic elinor who died from being burned at the stake. also the underlying plot is happening because of, not a dead mom, but a divorce and then new stepmom. lotta mom content in general.

14. the haunting of castle malloy 5/10 fiona’s parents were both killed in an explosion and really messed that girl up.

13. labyrinth of lies 5/10 grigor is an orphan, therefore there is some dead mom content, but its very minimal.

12. midnight in salem 5/10 not a technical dead mom, but dead mother figure with frances tuttle and lauren holt (i think that was their relationship....i played it once and theres not much on the wiki for MID yet) so technically the whole plot is in thanks to it, but i dont remember how much grief there was

11. trail of the twister 6/10 some dead wife content that nancy is an absolute dick about. you read the paper about ma. stop fucking pestering pa.

10. legend of the crystal skull 6/10 we get mr sad boy orphan henry bolet crying at his parents’ crypt. also his mom has the same photo as dr predovicu

9. the creature of kapu cave 7/10 for once we get a hardy asking someone about their dead mom instead of nancy! even tho, no one involved seems too sad about it and is very briefly mentioned. in fact, pua seems kinda happy that it’s just her and her dad so she can just surf all day.

8. ghost of thornton hall 7.5/10 again, dead mom content just because we learn about ancestors. a lotta dead sister/cousin content though. also it really hits you when you’re looking at the dates on the family tree and realize that harper and charlotte’s parents died like 4 years before charlotte died, and then harper and clara were alone except for each other. also the fact that clara’s mother died while she was young and before she ever told her who her father was just to have her new guardians die......rough.

7. secret of the old clock 8/10 woooo!!! another plot caused by a dead mom!!! not at traumatic as haunted carousel, but the culprit posing as your recently deceased mother’s friend is ROUGH. also nancy is actually nice when talking about gloria.

6. warnings at waverly academy 8/10 the twins’ mom dying and dad not knowing how to raise 2 girls causing them to pretend to be one person to get a scholarship and not be put up for adoption is so messy but a very good plot twist

5. tomb of the lost queen 8/10 jamila having a similar experience to nancy, where she thought her mom died in a car crash, but turns out she was part of something bigger that she follows in her footsteps, KNOWING that it might end in her death too. AND those notes from that first exploration and all of the daughters of nerfertari leaving to find their ultimate dead mom (nefertari) and dying/disappearing in the process....idk it gets me!!

4. sea of darkness 9/10 here we have some primo dead wife action, along WITH the child. extremely sad and gets me absolutely every time i play through it.....the fact that he holds onto it being his fault.... oh my god im getting sad again!!!

3. the haunted carousel 10/10 dead mom content to the MAX. dead dad giving clues to daughter to find the last remaining photo of her dead mother since she burned every image of her after she died and then blacked out the memory. thats some trauma right there. interestingly.... im not sure if we learn her mom’s name even though her plot revolves around remembering her.

2. shadow at the water's edge 11/10 oh yeah theres a dead mom and shes HAUNTING YOU!!! kasumi’s story is so sad and nancy has absolutely no right to be poking into these people’s lives and absolutely deserves every time she gets second chanced because asked the wrong thing about their dead mom. also SO absolutely fucked up that anyone’s boyfriend would go “hmm, i want my sister to quit her job and move to the city with me,... oh yes! i’ll haunt her business with her dead mother. perfect!”

1. the silent spy 10000000/10 the FUCKING ULTIMATE DEAD MOM CONTENT™. nancy suddenly learning that her mother wasn’t just a civilian who died in a car crash and that the people who killed her were now after her??? so juicy. we get carson trying to protect nancy from kate’s fate, we get all those flashbacks, those recordings from revenant, nancy piecing together her mother’s double life that she never knew about... GOD!!!! and yes, i absolutely cry when i read kate’s note to nancy. that shit hits man. also kate writing a song for her and carson and then rewriting it to have a part for nancy in it once nancy was born really gets me too. p.s. moira was in love with kate you can’t convince me otherwise.

well. thanks for taking this journey with me.

#clue crew #i havent played half of these games in years so forgive me if i missed any content #do not ask me why i decided to make this i just felt compelled.#i spent too much time making this im embarassed

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redandfranticfeelings · 4 years

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i am a whole month late but i saw frozen 2 and i actually have Opinions TM? which may not be very good, im not a good movie analyst, but this was a weird one. spoiler alert!

i like the backstory of anna and elsa’s parents and i like the idea that elsa’s powers are a gift, even though they really could have played into the powers being a gift more given how often she’s seen them as a curse. but they also kind of put the parents on a pedestal too much considering how they emotionally abused anna and elsa in the first movie. i would have loved to see the girls grapple with that trauma as well as remembering the good about them and feeling bad about their deaths.

on that note, they reference the first movie so much but it feels very gratuitous because a lot of elements feel detached from similar elements in the first movie. olaf recapping the entire first movie was funny but didn’t need as much time as it got.

that sums up olaf well too, actually. his anti-nihilistic personality was so batshit to me that it amused me, i like the idea of him dealing with maturity and change because it almost seems to be a deconstruction of his character archetype, and something that a lot of people who have aged since the first film could relate to. but it kind of came out of nowhere and then went nowhere, and he ironically ended up acting even more immature at times than he had in the first movie so it felt like they had no idea what to do with him, which sucks when he’s given entire scenes that don’t connect much to the plot. his song was probably my least favorite part of the movie, it felt even longer than his song in the original which at least served as a funny establishing character moment back then.

kristoff’s plot was sitcommy and meh and he was inconsequential to the story so much they p much forget about him in the second act but i gotta admit his song was so batshit bizarre it cracked me up. plus he is really endearing, even though they did not elaborate enough on his relationship with anna at all (and the first movie was already a bit rushed in that department). i would have liked more on how he sees her as a guiding figure in his otherwise very directionless life. in fact that could have even been subtle foreshadow for her role as a leader at the end of the movie!

as for anna herself...i like the idea of her plot! i like that she’s so paranoid and traumatized about elsa going anywhere alone and has to overcome that when elsa basically ascends to a higher power. i think people are too hard on her, i get her being overprotective and worried about not being around for her sister given how long she was shut out. it’s one of the few elements that actually seems like a proper follow-up to events from the first movie. i like that elsa is so gung-ho about taking all this responsibility alone but anna has to take up the mantle when she thinks elsa is gone, rather than sit alone and cry about it. however, i do wish her being queen had been built up more. maybe highlight her connection to the people arendelle, or even the northundra people, to show that she has leadership skills when not obsessed with elsa (since she is very personable). granted idk if she actually is qualified to lead a kingdom given how the first frozen is one of the few movies to reference how queens have to deal with things like the economy, but i’m willing to shrug that off since most movies of this kind don’t see queenhood as a responsibility thing but a title of honor.

i like elsa seeking out her history and heritage since that was kind of robbed from her as a child, but it would have been interesting if anna, who actually had her memories wiped, showed more interest in these memories being visualized. however i feel a lot of things came too easily for her. i like the idea that she had to conquer all the elements before she could find the truth about arendelle but idk it seemed like she didn’t struggle much, it just sort of Happened? it didn’t feel like her character developed or changed much. she started off hearing a call, decided to pursue it early on, and outside of a tragically-brief grapple with her parents’ death, just went through these individual challenges with nature basically the same way, by using magic. like as soon as the forest realizes elsa is magic each time it calms down. i get that she’s basically the chosen one but i would have liked a bit more emotional struggle, maybe more leftover insecurity about honing her powers or gaining new ones, maybe a stronger reaction to the fact her grandfather was basically willing to perform genocide due to the same beliefs about magic that had her hating herself throughout most of her life. i guess maybe her freezing to death might represent that, like how the truth hurts, and how her sister trying to make it up to everyone with a massive sacrifice is how she unfroze might be some sort of meaningful metaphor, but idk it felt a little too similar to the resolution of the last movie, and again things felt too easy for her.

super disappointed at how little the sami characters did. given how i’d heard they consulted sami folks to properly represent the culture, i expected the new characters to have a more direct role, but all they did was provide some mild exposition, and even then, anna and elsa found out most things. why couldn’t the people of the forest, especially the elders, just explain what anna and elsa’s grandfather did to them? honeymaren and ryder were cute but did basically nothing, which is sad since i heard so much hype about honeymaren being shipped with elsa.

also the people of northundra being shut out from the outside world by magic is a great parallel for elsa’s situation in the first movie but that connection was barely made because the new characters got sidelined so badly.

it would have been pretty cool to destroy arendelle and rebuild it, or maybe to give the northundra a new gift to replace the false one. but the whole thing with the dam generally felt a bit anticlimactic. and i appreciate a message about reparations and twisted nationalistic history but i dont really know what message they were going for there, and whatever it was, it would have been stronger if we got to know the actual people of the forest better.

the salamander was cute but it didn’t have much of a point any more than the other elements of nature and is almost as much of an Obvious Plush Toy Design as pua from moana. (btw, this movie reminded me a bit of moana, thematically, just way more complicated.)

the songs were nice but i dont remember most of them. ‘show yourself’ was my favorite. i like it better than ‘into the unknown’ lol, maybe because it came later in the story even though i wished there was more power struggle in the scene itself.

#frozen 2 #frozen II #text post #i have a lot of thoughts! surprising!

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hindunrisni · 5 years

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My Parents, My Sunshine

Bukan my kids my sunshine ya wkkw.

Gegara habis dikomen teman yg blg gue sering breaking promise buat ketemuan krn mendadak org tua dtg, gue jd pgn nulis soal orang tua. Bukan buat excuse ya btw wkwkwk.

Salah satu pelajaran terbesar yg sy dapat semenjak menikah adalah soal birrul walidain, berbakti pada orang tua. Tipe keluarga saya dan keluarga suami memang cukup berbeda. Mine is a type yang anti banget bilang 'sayang, kangen, dsb' secara gamblang (except my mom, my mom is outliar), sedangkan keluarga suami is a very very very open family. Setelah berkontemplasi, keterbukaan sepertinya melatih kita untuk lebih respek dan sayang sama orang tua.... At least thats what I feel.

Siapapun yg sedang dalam proses menikah, pasti pingin kan dianggap baik sama mertua. Saya waktu itu takut, bahkan sampai sekarang sy sering blg sama suami setiap kali akan bertemu mertua "aku deg2an, takut ga sopan" apalagi kalo udah melihat suami ngomong jawa kromo ke orang tuanya, saya merasa butiran debu yg keinjek2 sepatu orang saking merasa 'ngelunjak'nya diri ini. Wkwk lebay ya. But seriously, saya sangat tidak terbiasa untuk berlaku "sesopan itu" sama orang tua. Ibarat di chat whatsapp tuh ya kaya gini,

Umi: nong dimana? Tadi umi habis ketemu... Bla.. Bla... *Panjang*

Gue: di kosan. Oh iya mi

Atau

Umi: umi kangeeen, pengen ketemuuu *emote lope2 3 biji*

Gue: hehe sama mi

Atau gue sm kk cowok gue

Kk: umi ulang tahun ga kasi surprise?

Gue: ayo

Kk: ok

Kalau sama mertua/adik ipar bisa begini

Mertua: wooook, mamah lagi beginiii begituuu bla bla blaa *emote lope, tangan berotot, lope lg, senyum, lope lg, lope lg ampe seratus*

Gue: waah semangat mamaaah *emote lope 3biji*

That doesnt happen di wa aja, it does happen in real life. Karena gue gamau dianggap ga sopan sm mertua jelas dong gue ikut keramahtamahan mereka, walau gabisa se'heboh' mereka. Apa jadinya? Capek 😂

Jadi teringat kata2 prof Al-Attas yang bilang manusia sekarang seperti memakai topeng, bertingkah sesuai kondisi, bukan dengan adab sebenarnya. Frankly sy jadi teringat buku Susan Cain soal konsep Free Trait Agreement yg saya pegang teguh sampai skrg. Sepertinya selama ini saya salah mengaplikasikannya. Free Trait Agreement membuat kita berperilaku sesuai dengan lingkungan, ketika lingkungan kita memaksa kita harus making friends, kita harus mengeluarkan sedikit 'jiwa extrovert' kita walau pd dasarnya kita introvert, krn kita sejatinya butuh networking (cmiiw). Kemudian kok lama2 saya justru menggunakan konseo itu laiknya saya menggunakan topeng, tidak menjadi diri sendiri pada kondisi tertentu karena saya mementingkan reputasi sy di hadapan orang. Prof Al-attas mungkin berbicara soal para politikus/pemimpin yang tidak beradab dengan sifat kehewanannya, memakai topeng, berlaku curang dsb. Tp kalau saya tarik sedikit garisnya ke kondisi saya, sy jadi merenung, apakah selama ini saya benar2 mencintai orang tua saya sepenuh hati? Kenapa berbuat baik ke mertua membuat saya lelah kalau pada dasarnya sy memang berbuat baik utk orang tua sy sendiri? Hehe...

Kalau direcall, dulu waktu kuliah memang sy jarang pulang ke rumah. Klo orang tua mau dtg ke kosan, sy dengan entengnya bilang ada janji sama teman. Orang tua lg nelpon pengen ngobrol, kadang kalau sy mau belajar sy buru2 pgn minta tutup telepon (pdhl suami bisa 2 jam kalo telponan sm mamah/neneknya pdhl lagi ada deadline kerjaan). Kalo orang tua sendiri minta bantuan, rasa2nya sy ga setotalitas itu buat bantu dibanding kalo mertua minta bantuan.

Sy teringat saat pertama kalinya saya menangis sesenggukan ditinggal orang tua yg berkunjung saat minggu pertama baru menikah. Somehow itu adalah titik kulminasi yg paling saya rasakan bahwa saya sangat sayang dengan org tua saya (lah netes kan pas nulis ini). Mungkin krn sy baru menikah, sy baru sadar bahwa saya sepenuhnya sudah menjadi tanggung jwb suami saya. Saya menangis, baru saat itu merasakan rindu tersayat2 itu seperti apa :"""" Sy jadi mikir, mungkin saya sayang orang tua saya, tp apa iya rasa sayang yg saya beri sudah optimal? Apakah org tua saya layak mendapatkan hanya sebatas kata 'iya' ketika mereka bilang rindu? Atau sebatas kehadiran saat suprise ulang tahun tp tak diizinkan berkunjung karena sy harus bertemu teman yg padahal cuma pgn makan brg? :"

Akhirnya di satu waktu sy mencoba untuk lebih terbuka dalam mengekspresikan sesuatu ke org tua. It works. Mungkin ada kaitannya dengan smile brings positivity and the kinds. Rasa2nya kalau saya mengekspresikan rasa sayang dan cinta lebih terbuka, jadi terbawa sampai ke hati hehe, ga cuma berhenti di otak trs ngambang dikit di hati hehe. Saya lebih senang dan puas, org tua keliatannya sih lebih senang jg hehe. Percakapan juga jd lebih ngalir yg biasanya sy cuma ngangguk2 aja.

Saya berusaha untuk seadil mungkin pd org tua sendiri dan mertua. Belajar untuk melakukan segala sesuatu dari hati. Dan ekpresi cinta yang terbuka itu bagi saya bisa melatih kita untuk berbuat sepenuh hati. Bukan berarti org yg ekspresinya datar dan hemat kata tidak ikhlas dlm membantu orang, itu kembali lg ke hati dan kenyamanan kita sendiri. Saya hanya mencoba untuk berkontemplasi ketika melihat rasa2nya keluarga suami sy seperti dihujani rasa cinta dan hormat yang ga berhenti2. Sedang sy masih sering merasa hambar ketika mencoba menghormati dan mencintai org tua sy. Sy ingin apa yg sy lakukan ke mertua sy lakukan juga utk org tua saya dan sebaliknya. Karena bagaimanapun kt paksu dalam pernikahan gada istilah mertua, empat-empatnya adalah orang tua kita. Kalau kita sudah terbiasa berbuat baik dengan ikhlas, perbuatan baik yg kita lakukan ke siapapun akan mengalir insyaAllah, ga terpaksa krn keadaan dan ga capek 😅

Orang tua itu di atas segalanya. Segala2nya. Ridho Allah ada di ridho orang tua. Saya baru benar2 menghayati kalimat mainstream itu setelah menikah, sangat telat karena ridho utk sy sudah pindah ke suami. Kadang merasa hina ketika org tua msh mendoakan sy dg tulus pdhl bakti sy tidak ada apa2nya.Sangat layak bagi mereka utk mendapat kebaikan2 dr saya walau ridho utk sy sudah pindah. Memang telat, tp setiap kali sy melihat cara suami saya memperlakukan orang tuanya, sy selalu yakin bahwa Allah menjodohkan sy dengan beliau salah satunya adalah utk memberi kesempatan kpd sy dalam berbakti kpd umi dan abah, memperbaiki kesalahan sy terhadap mereka....*im literally crying now

Rabbighfirli waliwaalidayya warhamhuma kamaa rabbayaani shogiro..

Yuk berikan sesuatu yg layak bagi org tua kita sebelum terlambat :"

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secretsthat-i-kept · 3 years

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tembok besar cina

“Dengan nama Tuhan yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang”

Out of the blue harini aku rasa macam terpanggil untuk menulis. Bagi orang yg kenal aku, dorg cukup faham yg aku memang suka buat benda-2 random, tak de angin takde ribut. Dan setelah sekian lama tak update ‘ruang selamat’ aku yang satu ni untuk bercerita, here I am tonight, sitting at my desk, staring at this blank canvas of document and just let things flow.

Aku tak tahu siapa yang akan baca coretan kali ni, sama ada rakan-rakan sebaya atau yg lebih muda, but im writing this solely from my own perspective and experience. Mungkin korang ada rasa benda yang sama, atau mungkin tidak.

But did you guys know, how sucks it is menjadi seorang lelaki yang tidak ekspresif? It’s not like you don’t want to express yourself, you wanted to, but you can’t. Bukan kerana diri sendiri tidak mampu, tapi kerana keadaan sekeliling yang memandang jelek dan tidak mengizinkan. I don’t know if other men experience this or not, but from my experience of growing up, aku dibesarkan dengan dakyah bahawa lelaki tidak boleh menjadi ekspresif kerana menunjukkan emosi yang mereka rasa itu sesuatu ‘yang lemah’. I’ve been in few situations whereas man crying is often labelled as weak, lembik, bapok, pondan, you name it. All those negative connotations di lontar-curah setiap kali emosi ditunjuk-tayang.

Dan setiap kali perasaan-perasaan yang dikait dengan konotasi negatif ini zahir, I had to hide it. I don’t want people to come to me and being labelled. Did you guys notice, majority lelaki never show their emotion to public? Kalau tunjuk pun mesti indirectly. Why? Because they just simply can’t. Back to square one, kerana keadaan yang tidak mengizinkan.

Disebabkan keterbiasaan ini, I kept all those feelings to myself. Kalau rasa tak puas hati, rasa sedih, rasa marah, rasa biol, bercampur aduk dalam satu ruang kecil yang bernama jiwa. Dan bila jiwa sudah tidak mampu untuk disumbat segala emosi, ia ranap.

Apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan sebenarnya is just how people expect you to be normal and happy all the time, sedangkan kau juga cuma manusia biasa yang mempunyai perasaan dan bukannya robot ciptaan manusia yang diprogramkan untuk sentiasa ceria. Emotional breakdown is normal for both gender. Jadi kenapa perlu disorokkan persis di balik Tembok besar Cina?

betul, aku lelaki.

tapi mohon jangan letak ekspektasi terlalu melangit bahawa aku kan sentiasa terbang tinggi-

ada hari-hari aku masih akan tersungkur ke bumi,

tapi tak bermakna aku akan berhenti mencuba untuk terbang tinggi lagi.

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nikensthings · 3 years

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I've one and only young sister. She is 11 yo amd soooo gorgeous and cheerful. I love her.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, iseng aku membuka youtube dan nonton mv dari anneth mungkin hari ini esok atau nanti (kalo tidak salah begitu judulnya). Adeku tiba2 ikutan nonton. Dia nonton dari middle part till end. And how speechless im when i saw her crying. Yaaaa, dia nangis liat mv itu. Nonton deh yg belum tau biar tau endingnya.

Kemudian keesokan harinya aku iseng aku tanya ke dia "dek kamu sayang nggak sm mbak ken?", then she said "kenapa tanya gitu?" Lol.

Sampai akhirnya dia jawab "ya sayanglaah". Aku tidak puas. Aku tanya lagi "masasih? Sayang aja apa sayang banget?". Sambil cuek dia jawab "ya sayang bangetlah. Suwayang polll. Kita kan saudara kandung. Mesti lah sayang banget selamanya" kalimat terakhir dia tiruin aksen melayu upin ipin. Abis itu malah dia yg tanya balik "kenapase kok tiba2 tanya gitu? Karna mbak ken udah mau nikah? Kan udah nikah kita tetep adek kakak". Ahh i do love her.

Its ok for asking your sister or brother how are their feeling. Pas tau jawaban yg terduga, ituu bikin terharu sih. Seriouslyyyy.

Aku dan adeku tiap hari berantem, tp tiap hari juga baikan, tidur bareng, main bareng, dll. Seberantem2nya kita ga pernah lebih dari sejam. Langsung ketawa lagi. Main lagi. Ketawa2 lagi.

People have their own way to show their feeling. I know she loves me. And i hope she knows that i love her too. Mungkin salah satu caraku menunjukkan rasa sayang dan cintaku ke dia ya dg cara usilin isengin dia, lg tidur ku ciumin sampe dia bangun dan bete hahahahaha.. cara dia menunjukkan sayangnya dia mungkin jg dg cara dia selalu inget aku kalo lg jajan makanan apapun, jd seringkali dia beli dobel utk berdua. Kalo belinya sm ibuk, dia suka bilang "lah buat mba niken mana?".. uwww how sweet she is. Atau yaaa, gimanalah ga ngerti ya, pokoknya i do love her. Soooo muchh. Ngga ngerti deh ntar kalo kita tinggalnya pisah bakal gimana. Sekarang lg ngetik ini aja bikin berkaca2 🥺

Love you adek, stay healthy, dunia makin kejam, kamu harus kuat❤

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ak-fantasies · 7 years

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Please Don’t Lie

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Seventeen Dino x Reader

Songfic: Txhob Dag Kuv- David Yang

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJzjonmYjJ4

Im seriously sorry for so many angst Enjoy ~

vim li cas wb tau los nyob li no (why are we like this?)

cia kuv noog koj, (lemme ask you)

koj txoj kev hlub muab pub kuv tseem nyob (the love you gave me, is it still here?)

I watched as he quietly walks out of the room, slamming the front door on his way out. I sat down on the couch, in the empty room, alone. Dino and I have been arguing over small things lately and it’s gotten to the point where I wonder if I did something wrong. Maybe I did but it makes me question what. He’s been nip-picking every thing I do.

Our relationship has always been like this, Dino has been very long and sweet boyfriend, but it recently began to change. I wonder if the love he gave me was still here, with me.

vim kuv twb hlub koj tag lub siab (cause i loved you with all my heart)

koj txawm nthe los kuv tseem hnia (even though you yell at me, i still kiss you)

tseem qhia rau koj tias kuv hlub koj tiag (i still tell you i really love you)

I bit my lips hearing him yell at something I did, in a way he didn’t like. I still love him with all I had. Even when he got mad, I waited for him to calm down before I head over and gave him a kiss to apologize. He doesn’t react but even though, I still tell him. I tell him that I love him, that I really still do love him. I try to show it to him as well however nothing appears on his face.

koj txawm dag thiab koj txawm khiav mus deb npaum cas lo lawv tsis hlub

(even though you lie and run as far as you can they won't love you)

xav tias koj nrhiav taus tug tshiab (you thought you found a new one)

tabsi koj tseem rov los rau kuv (but you came back to me)

Everytime he would go out, he ends up so drunk, lying through his teeth to his friends. They would tell me and ask me to come and pick him up. No matter what happens, even though he flirts with other girls they don’t love him. He left me a few times for another but always ended up coming back to the shared apartment and begging for another chance. I always gave it to him.

vim li cas (why)

kuv twb ntshai tias koj yuav dag (i was scared you would lie)

koj twb txawj ua kuv lub neej tsaus (you know how to darken up my life)

koj tseem xav ko kuv lub neej tag (now you want my life to end)

I didn’t understand why. I knew he lied but I was afraid of his lies. I was afraid of getting hurt however I love him. He knows how to make my life seem a bit darker, making me feel my self-confidence drop.

“No one will ever love you.. You’re not pretty.” He said, bringing darkness into my life. Making me feel that I will never be able to find some who will love me. It’s like he was my life to end. He wants me to end the life with me.

puas yog (am i right)

thawb npaum cas lo tsis xav ntog (push as much but you don't wanna fall)

nthe npaum cas lo tsis xav txog (yell as much but you don't think about it)

I know I’m right. After a while, no matter how much I tried to make him fall in love again, he doesn’t budge. He continue going out, flirting with other girls, coming home late, shaming on my self-esteem. I love him but It hurts me. The yelling and arguments been more constant and words spill out like trash. There was no emotion towards what he had said to me. It got to the point were I began to cry myself to sleep. I didn’t know what to do. I stayed, hoping that the Dino I knew would come back to me. I hoped that he would return to me.

vim koj txawm hlub kuv hlub dag hlub tiag lo koj lub siab yeej tsis nrog

daim, kuv, lub, siab

(cause you know how to love me, fake love, prove love but your heart isn't by my heart)

Dino knew how to make me stay, he gave me the hope. He would sometime come back giving me small presents like he used to do every month, whether it was taking me out or a small gift. But I don’t know if it was real or fake. He knew how to gave me hope, to prove that he still had love, but was he really by me? Is he really still with me, is his heart still with me? His heart feels as far away from my heart, I don’t know if I could feel the presence.

koj cia kuv siab mob npau no (you let my heart suffer like this)

yog koj mus dua txhob rov los (if you leave again don't come back)

es kuv thov koj (i'm begging you)

Dino’s schedule repeats, he goes out brings a girl home, apologize, gave me the loving that I need. However when we fight, he would leave, break it off and come back.

“Im done.. we’re over!” He shouts… I couldn’t stand my heart suffering again.

“I beg of you Dino….” I began, finding the words to say. He scoffed and left through the door before I could finish my sentence. I fell to my knees, crying out my tears.

“I beg of you, if you leave this time…. Don’t come back… I can’t stand my heart breaking over and over.” I cried in the palms of my hands. I spent time collecting my stuff as I continue crying.

kuv hais tias kuv thov koj (i said i'm begging you)

txhob hais tej lus dag rau kuv ua rau kuv siab mob (don't tell me lies that'll hurt my heart break)

I watch him come in, his eyes lands upon me in the corner of the room with my bags by the door. I look up at him, with tears in my eyes, I waited for him and I’m tired of waiting for the one I once love to come back.

“_________….” His voice soften at my sight. He never did like seeing my cry, it was rare to see but he never wanted to see it.

“Don’t… Please… I beg…. Don’t tell me lies…” I said, covering my ears and hiding my face in my knees. I didn’t want to hear anymore. My hopes had been pushed up and down, my love had been pushed around, my heart had been broken.

“I’m sorry..” He said, embracing me in his arms. I cried, knowing that he was lying.

yog koj xav mus ces koj mus taus (if you wanna leave, then go as you please)

cia kuv nyob kuv ib leeg (just leave me alone)

es kuv tias li mus taus (then i can move on)

He sat with me as I continue to cry. His embrace and warmth, making me feel more tears and sadness.

I tried to push him away when he held on.

“Why are you pushing me away?” His voice was in soft whisper.

“If you want to leave, then go…. Im tired of everything. You don’t love me anymore… If you want to leave, leave… Just leave me alone so I can move on..” I said, turning away from him. He stayed quiet, letting what I’ve just said sink in. His arms around me pulled me into a tighter hug.

vim koj tsis xav tias kuv muaj siab thiab (you think i'm heartless and)

txawm kuv tsis zoo li tug koj xav nrhiav (even though i'm not the one you're looking for)

txhob dag kuv mos (don't lie to me)

“No…” He said, firmly.. I looked at him. My heart practically begging me to tell him to leave.

“Please…. For my heart… It seems that lately you don’t realize it that I have a heart… If Im not the one you want please don’t lie to me and tell me that I am. Please.. Im begging you… Don’t lie to me” My voice on the edge of breaking. He shakes his head and never let me go.

cia kuv thov koj (i'm begging you)

yog koj tsis hlub kuv tiag (if you don't really love me)

thov koj muab kuv tso (please let me go)

“Please Dino…. Im begging you… I can’t anymore…. Please leave…. If you don’t love me please let me go…. You don’t love me anymore…. So please… let me go..” I said as my heart pleaded..

“I love you still __________.” His voice barely audible.

txhob dag kuv mos [don't lie to me]

txawm kuv tsis zoo li tug koj xav nrhiav (even though i'm not the one you're looking for)

txhob dag kuv mos (don’t lie to me)

“Please don’t lie to me Dino… Please don’t lie to me.. don’t get my hopes up.. Don’t lead me on..” I pushed him away, finally breaking away from his embrace.

The tears in my eyes finally dried as I finally stood up. Grabbing my things I headed out the door.

“Even if I wasn’t the one you were looking for, I really hope that you find that one.” I said before heading out the door.

“_________! I love you… Please.” He shouts running after me, grabbing my hands.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you anymore.. You lied to me..” I said, not looking at him, only pulling my wrist from his grip. Even though I’m not pretty, or the one you were looking for Dino. I waited too long for the one I love to come back.

#dino #seventeen #seventeen dino #dino seventeen #lee chan #seventeen scenarios #lee chan seventeen #dino scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop #ak-fantasies imagines gallery

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poisonouslittleviper · 7 years

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My lil Hercules and Pua the day we got them at 8 weeks old and they are now about to turn 10 months old and I can’t deal with this. They were such teeny beans and now they are full beans and IM NOT CRYING

#cats #cat mom #children #THEY GROW UP TOO FAST

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binxrps · 7 years

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im gonna go cry now !!!!!!!!!!! yt ppl stole jazz !!!! they killed pua!!! i hope ur happy!!!!

#if i was steph i'd insert that gif of the cat crying

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xsarasmilex · 4 years

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so I log on to unemployment, and claim my week, so I log back on just to fuck around on the website, and it says we just found out that you have returned back to work recently, which is not true I offically left that job around June 11th, so no I have not returned to work, I really hope that doesnt fuck me up with my pua, benefits, I sent an email but probably wont hear back from them because ive sent a decent amount of emails and I have not recieved anything in return, so of course I call and I have to recall them 3 times before I actually get put on hold because of course they dont have a call back number, and guess what the wait time is greater then 2 hours! like wtfff so Im on hold currently I dont know if Im going to wait the offical 2 hours, but Ill try and stay on hold for as long as I can, hopefully they pick up alot sooner then 2 hours, this is ridiciulas because I did go back to work once and I was only scheduled 1 day, so I filled and I was good to go, this past week was the 1st offical week I didnt get paid anythingn and I know they hired a new girl so im pretty sure I dont have a job anymore, and she is like 5'0 and like 80lb and looks super sickly, I saw her last night when I ran there.thats about it, Ill probably vent a little more later, oh and of course I dont have a babysitter for maddie tomorrow, when I have my obgyn appointment because nicks mom aka dede is out of town, and the 17yr old neighbor whos mom offered doesnt want to do it till her mom gets back, so I have one more friend but that requires driving maddie over there and picking her up which id rather not do luckily the 17yr old lives like 2 hourses down but now I only have one choice and thats the babysitter I have to drive her to, hopefully king aka popop is off so he can watch maddie Ive already asked craig like 10x and of course he said no like wtf you have watched her a few times before, Id rather if be family then dropping her off somewhere else cause she does not do good with strangers she will cry probably the whole time because she doesnt know them which is the only bad thing about maddie lol she does that to my mom aka grandma, and to her great grandma, and to her popop on my side lol fingers crossed we get that situated to

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ohdrxco · 6 years

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penat lah gini. penatlah sedih penat asyik down je. i feel sad all the time. i feel guilty all the time. sure, i seem fine on the outside, but i’m actually not. i lost interest in talking and doing work, most of the time. everything seems dull and bleak. i’m sick and tired of crying all the time. im disgusted with myself. aku dahlah project manager for my group, and rasa aku ni takda function langsung je. macam aku ni heavy baggage for my teammates. i’m a sorry excuse for a human being. i tried being functional, but i just don’t have the energy rn. i just don’t. i just want to curl on my bed and cry all day, but no i can’t. i can’t do that. i have responsibilities. i have commitments. aku rasa kawan aku semua annoyed dengan aku, tak habis habis sedih, kerja pun tak buat. it’s obvious that some people memang tak puas hati dengan aku. i realised i am a failure, and i’m sorry for that. just give me time to get out of my funk, and hopefully i’ll be okay.

sure sometimes i think about hurting myself, but i can’t do that anymore. i promised myself i stop doing that. suicidal thoughts? seldom crossed my mind, tapi aku waras lagi, aku takkan buat macam tu.

i just wish i can tell everything to someone, tapi that one person i thought i can confide anything with, left me. i can’t talk all of this to my friends, since they also have their own baggage, their own problems. i don’t want to weigh them with my problems. lagipun, bila aku nak cakap apa aku nak rasa, mulut terasa berat, tak terkata semua benda, tak boleh nak buat ayat. so in the end, pendam jelah. sure aku ada cerita aku sedih kat some of my friends, but i can’t tell them all my problems, since not all stuff you can tell to everyone. some things are better left unsaid.

i dont even know if i’m depressed, or just very sad.

#shut up f #text

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empressboa · 7 years

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100 questions

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?

-YESSSSSS. But it depends if kinsa iya gikissan diba?

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

-Ahmmmmmmm. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-Time travel bitch.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-With my lifestyle and attitude right now. (Instead of studying for midterms Im answering this, so for now. NAH. NEY!

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.

-Daghan kaayo. Pero pinaka the best basta kompleto mi sakong tagay buddies hahahahaha.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-Bec they don’t deserve me they deserve someone better.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

-Kanang malunod sa tubig or sa dagat. Death wish.

8. What are your current goals?

-Makapasar sa CC3 please.

9. Do you like someone?

-Like? Hmmmmm. Siguro,

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-Myself nalang aron playing safe hahaha.

11. Do you like your body?

-Nah.

12. Can you keep a diet?

-Samot nah.

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-Stop being divided by religion, money, government, race, class etc. Dapat love nato ang usat usa kay padong nani mawala si mother earth dzuh.

14. Do you work?

-Nah….

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

-Chickenjoy sa Jollibee the best!!! Hahahahaha.

16. Would you get a tattoo?

-Sure if nay money.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-Basta kanang cute nga butang hahahahaha.

18. Can you drive?

-Depende unsay drayban hahahahahahahaha.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-Kanina si Rhenz, thanks Rhenz hahahahahaha.

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

-Anxiety problems. So I don’t know ahihihi.

21. Do you keep a journal?

-Yup! Naa koy journal para sa dreams nga ako mahinumduman (although wala nakoy suwat suwat rn) and daghan pa.

22. Is life fun?

-If you spend it wisely. Yep!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-Yep! How is that even relevant? People fart dzuh that’s normal.

24. What’s your dream car?

-Land Cruiser or pick up hahahaha.

25. Are grades in school important?

-Ari sa kalibutan and with this society. YESSSS! But for me NO. Mas importante maka learn haha.

26. Describe your crush.

-Anti social? Dili guro. Ahm taas hilumon bright buotan smoker di sya ganahan sa mainstream buotan and many more good things.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Haler? Nice gd ni sya noh? Hahahaha.

28. What was your last lie?

-“Oo ma magtuon nako”

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?

-Wala koy mahinumduman huhuhuhu.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-Nope!

31. Something you did and you are proud of?

-Love my friends to death! Hehehe.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

-Tanduay mix oy bisan unsay emix. Cocktail bana? Hahahaha

33. Something you are good at?

-Overthinking huhu.

34. Do you like small kids?

-I DO I DO!!!

35. How are you feeling right now?

-Drained. Emotionally unstable.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

-Daughter: Violet Son: Knight

37. What do you need to be happy?

-Akong uyab, akong mama, akong papa, akong friends.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-NAY DAGHAN!!!!

39. What was the last gift you received?

-My life.

40. What was the last gift you gave?

-Tshirt man guro.

41. What was the last concert you went to?

-Fliptop hahahahaha concert nalang na oy.

42. Favourite place to shop at?

-Ari sa among ubos ay. Hahahaha.

43. Who inspires you?

-Parents and the universe.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

-13…

45. How old were you when you first got high?

-15…

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

-HUH? UNSAY SEX? HAHAHAHAHA.

47. When was your first kiss?

-Summer. 201? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-Gusto nako mahappy. No loop hole happy.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-Oo daghan.

50. Post a selfie.

-Unya nalang.

51. Who are you most comfortable around?

-Friends,

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

-Zombie Apocalypse and when the long knight will come or when people might forget me when I will be gone ahihihihihi.

53. What kind of books do you read?

-Sci-fic and fiction.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-Stay innocent dai.

55. What is your favourite flower?

-Flower is too mainstream so nah.

56. Any bad habits you have?

-Nail biting, overthinking and smoking guro hahaha.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?

-Anyone because I always believe in people no matter how they look inside or outside.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

-Ako uyab kay di ko nya arion.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-Ahmmm wait…. WALA!!!!

60. Are you in love?

-Oo like sauna pa.

61. Something you find romantic?

-Long live relationship, like bisan ka pila mag away magbalik gihapon charing.

62. How long was your longest relationship?

-6years and counting…..

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-Saba, plastic and wala na kana ra.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

-Saba, plastic and dagkog baba

65. What are you saving money for?

-Travel and tattoos.

66. How would you describe your bad side?

-VERY BAD. Hahahahaha murag nayawaan.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?

-Nah. Ambot bati man kog batasan para nako.

68. What are you living for?

-Ahm living for wala lang guro for myself nalang.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?

-???????

70. Do you like your body?

-Seg balik.

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-Yes. Always.

72. Ever sent nudes?

-Sapnu puas. Wa pa tawn buyag.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?

-O

74. Favourite candy?

-Halls nga spearmint.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-Wala man sauna nuon kay dirtyberd LOL

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-Wala kay wa koy computer.

77. Favourite TV series?

-GoT, Narcos, Stranger Things, Breaking Bad, HIMYM and many more.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?

-Religious? NO. Yes God exist along with the universe.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-A Game of Thrones. Wala pa ko nahuman pero kapoy sabot sa mga words lol.

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-They can do whatever they like and they can eat what they want.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?

-5years?

82. Do you like Chineese food?

-Kaayo.

83. McDonalds or Subway?

-Way Jollibee dha?

84. Vodka or whiskey?

-Mahal, tanduay mix lang sapat na.

85. Alcohol or drugs?

-Wa puros bad.

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-Out of province lang sa hahaha.

87. Meaning behind your blog name?

-Alter ego na nako hahahaha.

88. What are you scared of?

-Global Warming.

89. Last time you were insulted?

-Kalimot nko.

90. Most traumatic experience ?

-Don’t wanna talk about it.

91. Perfect date idea?

-Bisan asa basta kuyog lang ang love.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

-FB

93. What colour are the walls in your room?

-Blue.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-Yes. Daghan man.

95. Share your favourite quote.

“Time is gold.”

96. What is the meaning of life?

-Life is nothing compare to how infinitely big our universe is so enjoy your life it maybe nothing but it still exist.

97. Do you like horror movies?

-HECK NO!

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-Oo, gahi ko ulo.

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-Nah.

100. Can you keep a secret?

-Nah

CH�3�?

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