#Obviously I don't think this WILL happen but I genuinely 100% believe it COULD. It's not like a 'shipping' thing it's truly in-character | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

d10nyx · 5 months

Text

are you lonely?

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, incest, dad leon, 18+ reader(obviously), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, dubcon??(just to be safe), a lot of self-loathing and guilt on leon's part

a/n: i apologise wholeheartedly if i tagged anything incorrectly, this is my first time ever posting something i've written(and one of my first times finishing an idea), but i will try my hardest. THIS IS DARK CONTENT, so please be careful reading and scroll if you don't like it!! also genuinely please tell me if i missed any tags! hope you like it :)

word count: 2.4k words

It never gets easier. Every single mission manages to drain Leon more than the last. He almost just gave up on it all a long time ago - he would have if it wasn't for one thing.

You.

As he opens the door from another exhausting mission, he's hit with the smell of home cooked food that has his mouth watering. The house is spotless, as always. Floors completely polished, the sound of music coming from the kitchen has him dragging his feet there on autopilot, eyes settling on you.

His sweet daughter is at the stove, stirring something in a pot. You haven't even noticed he's home yet, humming along to the music coming from your phone softly as you cook. He leans against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, just gazing at you for a few moments.

God, he missed you.

“Hey, honey.” He hums, the corner of his mouth twitching in a close approximation of a smile, about all he can manage after the shit he's seen this past week. Your movements pause, and then you're tilting your head over your shoulder to look at him.

“Dad! You're home!” You exclaim, shooting him a smile that lights up your whole face. He barely has time to react before your arms are wrapped around his torso, giving him a tight hug. He never feels like he deserves your affection. He's barely even around, but you're always clinging to him like a needy puppy when he is.

“Mhm. Managed to finish up a little early.” He mumbles, a hand coming to your head to press it against his chest, giving your waist a little squeeze with his other one. Doesn't bother telling you about what he was doing. Doesn't want you worrying. “You miss me?”

“Course I did.” You reply without hesitation, giving him a squeeze in return before pulling away from him. “Gotta keep cooking before it burns, though. You hungry?” You ask softly, returning to the stove.

He hums softly, eyes lingering on you as he walks away. He finds himself looking at you for a little too long, blinking his eyes to snap himself out of it. “Yeah, I could eat.”

His gaze finds you again before long. His eyes flick over your form, hovering on your curves for a moment before he frowns. Jesus. Since when did he look at his daughter like that? Since when did his daughter look like that? Must of been a while, but he's only really noticing it now

He's only been gone for a week, but it feels like a lifetime. You're always so happy to see him, always acting so domestic. You cook for him, clean for him and cuddle up to him after he's had a particularly tough day.

You'd make a good wife for someone one day.

His frown deepens as his brain supplies that thought to him. Is this what's happening to him now? He's so sick that he's attracted to his own damn daughter? Is that really how fucked up his life has got?

He gets a little weird after that, eating dinner with you in silence when it's done before rushing off to the bedroom. You ask him about 100 times what's wrong, but he always gives you the same ‘it's nothing, honey, just tired.’ You don't believe a word of it, naturally. You know your dad better than that, know when something’s bothering him

And you're a sweet girl. Too sweet for him, if he's being honest. So he shouldn't be surprised when you go to check on him after you clean up the dishes before you go to bed. But he wasn't thinking right, and you walk in on him right as he's pumping his dick to the thought of you.

“Shit…” He breathes out as he sees you in the doorway. He thinks he's going to be sick when the sight of your surprised face is what tips him over the edge, your pretty lips parted in shock as he cums harder than he has in years.

Post-nut clarity hits him like a train, guilt clawing its way up his chest, nausea setting in. “Fuck, baby. I'm so sorry.” He says quickly, too stunned to move. His hand is still gripping his cock, still hard and leaking, his hand coated in his release.

And you're just staring, unable to take your eyes away. Makes your stomach flip and your heart beat faster. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He quickly seems to snap out of his daze and yanks the cover over himself, his jaw tightening as he refuses to meet your eyes.

You find yourself disappointed that you can't see him like that anymore, a frown tugging at your face. “It's okay, dad.” You manage to say, voice a little strained. Heat pools in your stomach, and you fidget a little as you stand in the doorway, your common sense warring with what you wanted.

“I just wanted to check on you.” You say after a moment of silence, Leon still not looking at you. “You seemed… weird at dinner. Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You continue to stand awkwardly in the doorway before you shift further into the room. Against your better judgement, you sit on the edge of his bed, trying to catch his eye.

“It's okay, dad. Really.” You tell him, reaching a hand out to touch his cheek. He lets out a stifled groan, his eyes squeezing shut. You're too good for him. “My fault for not knocking.”

His eyes crack open to meet yours, and he slowly realises he's found you beautiful for a long time - more than what's considered acceptable as a father. Ever since you came back from college during one of your breaks, filling out your clothes in a way you never had before, looking up at him with those pretty eyes…

Fuck. He's sick. He deserves to rot in hell. He'd noticed long ago, pushed the thoughts away so he could be the father you deserved. And you're perfect. So goddamn beautiful, like you were made for him. Your hand is so warm and soft where it cups his cheek, your touch so gentle.

He's been so, so lonely. And you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen, brows furrowed in concern as he refuses to answer you. Knows if he opens his mouth, he's gonna say some shit he regrets.

He ends up doing something he's gonna regret, anyway. Can't help himself when you're giving him those eyes. He's grabbing you by the cheeks, pulling you into a kiss without even thinking about it.

You pull away, and he whimpers. He tugs you back in again, kissing you with more fervour this time. Your body freezes up, then you find yourself kissing back, and he's not sure if that's worse or not. Guilt is eating him alive, but he can't help himself.

“I'm so sorry, baby.” He murmurs between kisses, desperately tugging you closer to him. His tongue slips into your mouth, and he moans softly as your own prods against his. “Can't help it. You're so pretty.”

This time, you're the one deepening the kiss. His hands find your waist, his grip tightening. He didn't realise how badly he needed this. Needed you. He can feel how badly you want him, the way you're pressing up against him as he kisses you.

It's so wrong. He wants to do so many things to you. You want him in a way no one has ever wanted him before, even more than your mom ever did. It's intoxicating, makes him dizzy. He feels so pathetic. What kind of sicko wants to fuck his own daughter? He's your dad. He should be protecting you from creeps like this, not making a move on you.

“Baby…” He breathes out, pulling away from your mouth, his heart hammering in his chest at the disappointed look that spreads across your face. “We can't do this. Y'know that, yeah?”

But his hands move to settle on your hips, tugging you into his lap, the duvet the only thing separating you from sitting on his bare cock that he never had a chance to shiver back into his pants after you caught him. He's not strong enough, needs you to be the one to bring him to his senses. You just needed to say no, and he'd be able to stop. But you don't, and he's too weak to do it himself. Far too weak.

“Daddy…” You breathe out, frown tugging at your lips. “Please? Just this once?”

How is he meant to say no to that? He buries the guilt, buries the self-loathing. He's good at that - pushing away his feelings and pretending that everything's okay. He can't deny his pretty girl of anything, especially not when she asks so sweetly.

So he kisses you again. It's a messy, sloppy kiss, one that has him groaning and rocking his hips up to get some kind of friction on his aching cock. It twitches, already leaking pre-cum. He can't even remember the last time he fucked someone. Can't believe he's about to fuck you. He's tempted to cut his dick off after this. Doesn't deserve it.

It's not long before his hands are pawing desperately at your pants, tugging them off along with your panties. He keeps your shirt on, pretends that makes him better, even if he wants to see how your tits bounce. Hey, he thinks, at least I had some self-control.

You moan so prettily when his thumb brushes your clit, rubbing slow circles into it. You're already so wet, his cock jumping with interest. Even Hell is too good for him.

Your hands slip down to tug at the fabric separating the two of you, your hips only hovering long enough to pull the duvet down and expose him, a low whine spilling from your lips.

“Want it, daddy. Please?” You murmur, dipping your head down to kiss his neck, making him suppress a groan.

“Yeah, baby. Anything you want.” He breathes out, his free hand reaching for the base to make his cock stand tall, offering it up like some kind of treat while his other hand still rubs lazy circles onto your clit.

You both moan in sync as you lower yourself onto his length. His hand slips to your hip, gripping it to guide your movements. His hips buck up into you, his tip brushing your cervix whenever you sink down fully onto him.

You're so wet, and you squeeze him just right. He's going to go insane. There's no way he can help himself now. He's never gonna stop thinking about how good you feel wrapped around him.

“Fuck, honey. Pussy's made just for me,” he groans, cringing as he says the words. He's never been a fan of dirty talk, feels awkward. Worse when he thinks about who he's fucking. But you feel so good, he really can't stop himself. His brain isn't working anymore.

“You're so big.” You whine, grinding your hips down against him more than actually riding him, like you don't want his dick to leave you for even a moment. Cute. He almost cums just at the way your face twists as he fucks up into you.

“S’all yours, baby. C'mon,” he coos, thumb slipping away from your clit and making you whimper, just so he can grab your waist with both hands. “Ride daddy.”

He lifts you up and down, helping you ride him. You rock your hips desperately, moaning as he presses up against your sweet spot with every thrust, picking up the pace as he fucks into you. He's able to manhandle you so easily, which only has you moaning louder, your eyes fluttering shut.

With his hands occupied with gripping your waist as he helps you fuck yourself on his dick, you bring your own hand down to rub at your clit, making the heat in your stomach build rapidly.

The bed creaks as he picks up the pace again, rutting deeper into you than before, your pussy making the most obscene squelching noises. It's downright sinful, Leon has to use all of his focus to stop himself from cumming right then and there. Fuck, if it wasn't for him jerking off right before you came in, he'd have cum as soon as he saw your pretty pussy.

You're close, biting your lip to sniffle your moans as they grow louder, fingers moving faster against your clit. Your dad notices, shifting his hips until he's pounding relentlessly into your sweet spot, making you see stars.

He feels his chest swell with pride when he feels you tense up, pussy clenching around his cock deliciously as your orgasm hits, juices gushing past his cock and coating his balls. He didn't even know he still had it in him, thought his dick game died in his 20s. This was a pleasant surprise.

His balls tighten, and he knows he's about to cum. He grunts and goes to pull you off of him, but you whine and shake your head, pushing yourself down. “S'okay, daddy. I'm on birth control. Wanna feel it, please.”

He frowns a little at that. He doesn't like thinking about other guys fucking you. You're his princess, a sweet girl. Your daddy will take care of you, not these other losers. God, he's fucked up.

“Yeah, baby? Want daddy to fill you up?” He grunts, flipping you over with ease so your back's pressed to the bed, him hovering over you. He pounds into you with renewed vigor, head hanging and bangs covering his eyes.

“Fuck.” He hisses as he buries himself balls deep in you, cock kicking inside your pussy as he cums. He pants a little as he fills you, he's not quite as young as he used to be. Takes it out of him sometimes.

He pulls out and slumps next to you. You cuddle up to him instantly, and that guilt and shame comes to the surface again. He pulls you close to him, pets your hair and kisses your forehead like he always does.

“Love you, baby girl.” He murmurs, his free hand pulling the covers up and over your body, his fingertips scratching your scalp lightly.

“I love you more, dad.”

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #dark content

532 notes · View notes

moghedien · 8 months

Text

ok so i was genuinely unsure about how I felt about the way Lanfear was revealed in the moment, but there are three main things that are really selling it for me:

1: It immediately sets up the threat of going up against a Forsaken:

So far we haven't really gotten much of an indication from the show about what the Forsaken really are, who they are, and why they're any different that a regular darkfriend. Obviously there's still a ways to go in explaining it, but Lanfear provided an immediate visual explanation

Because for example, we've already seen one darkfriend innkeeper who had a thing for Rand (or pretended to) take a knife through the throat

We've even seen Rand stick around and linger by her body and its very clear that absolutely nothing happens.

We get a lingering shot on her bleeding out and she is very clearly actually dead in this moment. Its not even really a question.

But with Lanfear we kinda get the exact opposite of this moment. We see her take a knife to the throat and clearly go down, then there is no lingering by the characters.

The camera goes back to her and we see the saa very clearly moving in her eye, then she blinks and breaths in.

And by this being the opposite of Dana, I mean that with Dana there was no question that she was actually dead. With Lanfear, there is absolutely no question that she's still alive.

Dana was also a darkfriend, but this is very clearly showing non readers that Lanfear is something DIFFERENT. We're told she's a darkfriend of some kind, then we're seen that she actually apparently cannot die by normal means. This coming AFTER the reveal that she is definitely a channler of some kind, and if we now know she's a Forsaken, then we know that Moiraine clearly said the Forsaken are the most powerful channlers ever, more powerful than any Aes Sedai.

And now apparently they can't die.

2. Its foreshadowing.

Moiraine was able to take out Lanfear (if only temporarily) with a physical attack because Lanfear was so fixated on Rand.

The above is also a spoiler for the climax of a certain book.

I'm not gonna get into it, but its clearly like showing that there's a course of action and there is a playbook that works here.

3. NOW we have Lanfear

Before we had Selene. I'd argue there were even moments where we had Mierin, but the only time Lanfear has really come out before this was when she went into Rand's dream and threatened him in episode 3.

By this I mean that while Selene was always obviously an act Lanfear was putting on, it stopped us from really seeing how manipulative and obsessive Lanfear could be and was currently being. If we didn't know she was Lanfear (and non readers shouldn't) then there's no reason to realize the lengths to her manipulation. We still don't know that the man she was telling Rand about was Lews Therin. We still don't know that Lanfear even knew Lews Therin much less would want to rekindle any kind of lost romance with his reincarnation. Because even when Lanfear was being honest as Selene, she was keeping herself back. She wasn't latching onto Rand and telling him that he was hers. She was very clearly holding onto the memory of Lews Therin, but there has yet to be any clear indication that she 100% buys that Rand and Lews Therin are the same person rather than Rand just being his reincarnation.

So while Lanfear was definitely getting some joy out of sleeping with Lews Therin reborn, there is no real indication that that is what she wanted. She said she wants Lews Therin. She tells Rand she's more or less settling for him. Let's assume that was 100% honest for the moment (because I believe it mostly is to a point), I don't think that's the case after this episode. Because Mierin Eronaile suddenly got the one thing she'd always wanted:

If you watch the moments immediately before this scene and immediately after, there is a shift in how Lanfear is acting here.

Before she was very clearly putting on an act. She was playing up being afraid of Rand and didn't seem at all concerned about keeping him here. The most she does is ask him where he's going to go, and even that is said in a weird tone unless you know that she's probably going to use this information to keep tabs on him and report it/follow him herself.

But Rand does the one thing he absolutely shouldn't have done with Lanfear and told her that he loves her.

So now I think is the moment where Lanfear is willing to accept that Rand is Lews Therin. Because if Rand is Lews Therin, then Lews Therin just said that he loves her.

And her entire tone shifts here. You can see she's visibly shocked in the moment, and then smiles and flips the scene to her being afraid of him, to her reassuring him and telling him that he should have told her and telling him that he didn't do anything wrong and he was just acting in his nature. Before she was bringing up the inn and was clearly trying to make him feel bad. Now she's clearly trying to reassure him and keep him around. Absolutely manipulation but I think she didn't really need him to stay until he indicated that he loved her.

So what this means is that we now have Lanfear, who is established as being unkillable and one of the most powerful and oldest being in existence, NOW becoming obsessed with Rand al'Thor and thinking of him entirely as Lews Therin. And not only that, but now she's PISSED because he just left her and was taken away from her by Moiraine exactly when she finally had him back after thousands of years.

She finally got everything she's wanted and it was immediately taken away, and I think that's frankly terrifying, so yeah, I think I do like this reveal now actually.

#also like #the books make it prettty obvious who she is #like if you don't suspect Selene is who's being talked about in that creepy poem from the moment she talks then idk #I think it was best to withhold that info until it needed to be revealed #there's few Forsaken reveals that I find like actually surprising or satisfying in the books #and surprise surprise the only one I can think of that I genuinely like is Moghedien's reveal to Liandrin's black ajah group #mostly because it scared the Black Ajah shitless when they realized the maid girl they'd been abusing was a Chosen #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #wot show spoilers #lanfear #long post

220 notes · View notes

lenaboskow · 28 days

Note

absolutely, 100% serious question here. do you not believe characters can grow and change and work to make themselves better? because i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that buck has absolutely done that. so why can tommy not have done the same thing?

(i can’t figure out how to word this so it sounds less combative, but i genuinely am asking in good faith, i promise.)

no worries! i 100% believe that characters and people in general can learn from their mistakes, and buck is a perfect example of that (i still can't stand rewatching season one because of him, though i love him to death), and see, i thought that we could possibly get that with tommy, and for a second there i thought we were, but then the way he acted on the date made me realize he'll always be a... not nice person.

up until the date, the only real redemption we got was him apologizing to chimney only after chimney saved his life, and apologizing to hen only when he was backed into a corner. chim and hen both seemed to forgive him, and i don't fault them for that, it's their decision, but the instances never sat right with me.

then tommy said on the date in 7x05 that the 118 was a pretty regressive place under gerrard, and i can understand that. if it had been left at that, i probably could've switched to mildly disliking him (because even then it sounded like he was making excuses for his actions, and not owning up to them). but then he made the comment about closet space, in front of the person buck was obviously not comfortable coming out to yet, and i lost hope. if eddie had been a little more perceptive, it would've outed him.

keep in mind, as a queer person, i totally understand not wanting to be with someone who isn't even out to their best friend, but tommy could've handled it better. he went in knowing that buck was still figuring himself out, and when he realized he couldn't be with someone who couldn't be out just yet, he acted upon that in not the best way. closet comment aside, leaving him at the curb like that without making sure he had a way home, without telling him that's what he was doing until the car pulled up, that's a dick move. sure, it worked out in the end, but how many times in the future is that going to happen? how many partners has he done that to in the past?

to me, the date just showed me that tommy hasn't learned from past mistakes yet. if we could get a proper redemption, with apologies and recognition that the way he's acted can have real-world consequences, i'd be okay with that. but i just don't see that happening.

hope that answered your question!

#911 spoilers #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #tommy kinard #anti tommy kinard #not anti bi buck anti tommy kinard

47 notes · View notes

tirfpikachu · 2 months

Text

my transmasc nonbinary ex said that they keep getting gendered as female when going out, especially now that they're off testosterone, and that they're not opposed to it per se but it just gets tiring to be called the same thing all the time and they wish people would switch it up every now and then (so they feel more validated as enby)

i remember what it was like when i had nonbinary dysphoria and it was almost like a game. like you want a good ratio of being gendered as male vs female. they were gendered as male for long enough for years that they got actually dysphoric from it, like they got miserable living 100% as male. so now they're in-between. they've had top surgery, they have stubble but always shave it and want to get laser for it (they don't enjoy anything they rly got from hrt afaik, they just "needed something to happen" and top surgery was taking a while to happen at the time). so they're androgynous, but they're hyperfixated on how others view them. it's obviously not what they always think about, but enough to notice and keep track. if they only get gendered as female that month they get uncomfortable. if they only get gendered as male another month they get uncomfortable. it must be so fucking annoying. it was for me, anyway. like never feeling satisfied w how others view you, bc what you want is basically impossible unless you were super dedicated every single day to curating your appearance to pass differently

sometimes i feel like telling them just be yourself, even cis ppl get misgendered, try to feel secure in yourself and all the other bullshit will fade away. strangers only take a quick glance at you and your sex characteristics. and if you have an afab-typical body outside of a flat chest, and you wear stylish clothes, and you're conventionally pretty... and have shaved your stubble... i mean yeah, ppl are gonna think you're afab, and they use the typical sex-based pronouns associated w that. it sucks though. nonbinary ppl, including me from back then, tend to daydream abt a world where ppl would just be able to tell they identified as nonbinary and used they/them or did the "oh miss... i mean sir! sorry" thing every time. they're seeking that rush of "omg i did the nb thing!!" even though they themselves will use she or he for others unless the person is alternative enough & androgynous enough where they cannot believe the person is at peace w their sex. they'll say all day long that nonbinary isn't a look or a behavior but they really go against that aaall the time!!! honestly often the word nonbinary is basically synonym with "androgynous" in how it's used, and other times as a nebulous identity based on the understanding that everyone has an inner womanly or manly feelings inside their head except for special enbies. some nonbinary ppl are androgynous, others genuinely for all intent and purposes are considered gender conforming in society. sometimes i think that's to the detriment of genuinely androgynous folks (nonbinary-identified or not) who face the blunt of anti-gnc hatred

honestly once i embraced being a female human life seemed kinda boring at first bc i didn't get those "omg i reached androgyny!!" rushes anymore. it's like the game was over bc i aligned w my sex as a neutral fact. and all that energy i had focused on gender stuff i now put towards just seeing myself as a human who happened to be female, and would be female no matter what, and no matter what ppl thought it doesn't change the body type i was born in. i'm just like any other female animal. it means absolutely nothing. ppl can think i'm a dude all the time and i just laugh it off bc i know what i am, it's like a funny little secret i have when i get misgendered. but trans ppl don't view it like that... i wonder, what if they desensitized themselves to misgendering and found security in themselves and confidence in their identity? even while still identifying as trans etc? what if they could learn to laugh too cuz they know what they are? i feel like that's what they should work on instead of changing the world around them and feeling bummed out everytime they don't win at gender

#lay text #research tag #my words #radfem #radblr

41 notes · View notes

nono-bunny · 5 months

Note

Here's something to consider: Do you think Bryke were kicked out of Netflix's LA ATLA because they were toxic during the whole set? I saw an article on Instagram saying they were fired because they were unproductive, hard to deal with, and were rude most of the time. I sincerely BELIEVE that this is what happened to cause them to leave, because of how you heard all of Mike's jerk ramblings on things (Zutara) and how he and Bryan were praised for the show. I'm thinking Bryke couldn't handle the criticism and Netflix wanted something different to the story but still wanted to keep the story of Avatar intact. Which makes you think...what could make Bryke so adamant about not wanting to change anything? Was it scenes, moments...relationships? Ever since the trailer came out, everything looks fantastic. So WHAT could be so different that made Bryke act like the way they did?

Something to think about. ;)

Thank you for the ask, some interesting points here!

So first of all, I haven't really been active on Instagram since they killed the chronological feed a couple of years ago, so I obviously have no clue what the article you're talking about is and how true it is, but. Yeah, I'd believe that lol, wouldn't be in any way out of character for what I've heard of them and for the rep they've built up over the years

As much as the guests on the podcast are constantly talking about how good at managing the show they were, you also get a very real sense of how rigid they actually are in terms of listening to other people's ideas when they go against their initial ones, even if they would make the show better. Something that really stood out to me is how many times other people are credited for all of the best parts of the show- Zuko's arc being great had nothing to do with them, Iroh's personality was different from what they initially wanted, Toph being a blind girl rather than a huge dudebro (I don't remember if he was also blind or not but like. Regardless they weren't the ones to come up with the Toph we know and love at all)... All of these are things that they've basically admitted to be changes proposed by other people, which they initially resisted. Like!!! They legitimately cannot take the credit for the show's best parts, because they're shit writers- but they have a massive ego because they've been constantly getting praise for shit they didn't do for years. Genuinely they sound like nightmares to work with!!! The cavalier way they dismiss people all the fucking time whenever they disagree with them is just. Really weird for show creators imo, and the way they keep milking the franchise even though they've long since run out of any good ideas- or, really, the ability to execute them in a way that works... Those two fuckers barely worked on anything else worth remembering/noting, so they just keep coming back to the thing that worked once and wondering why they can't get it to work again- and the answer is that they were never the reason why it worked, and they refuse to accept that

As much as I love the original show, it's also incredibly flawed and imo needed many many changes to be deserving of the perfect image it seems to have, and like? I'm genuinely hoping that the changes Netflix make are along those lines rather than like... Sensationalizing it with gratuitous violence or whatever. Zutara would be great, obviously, but... Yeah mostly I just don't want Kataang, and like. I'm being 100% serious when I say that I'm gonna wait for other people to watch the show first so I know if it happens or not, because if it does- I'm just not gonna bother with it.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #anti bryke #atla critical #anti kataang #zutara

53 notes · View notes

samble-moved · 1 year

Text

i hate the fandom idea that homura's actions (especially during rebellion) are out of a place of total selfishness, or homura just "not letting go" or because she's evil.

did everyone forget that madoka, while dying, begged homura to keep looping to make sure madoka didn't become a magical girl? homura had already seemingly looped several times before, and madoka all but asked her to keep going to save her from her fate. albeit, madoka was likely not thinking clearly about this, and obviously wasn't asking to be cruel or to "hurt" homura by continuing the cycle, but the idea that "homura only loops because she's selfish and evil and wants madoka to stay human because she's selfish and evil" is literally not true at all in canon. madoka asks homura to make sure she (madoka) doesn't contract, and all but asks her to loop again and again until that happens. obviously this is something homura wants to do (since human madoka = safe from the fate worse than death magical girls get), but the concept that it's only homura's desire, that madoka never asked for this, is false canonically.

and the idea in rebellion that homura is intentionally acting against madoka's wants and "forcing" her to be human and seperate from the LoC ties into this as well. for one, homura 100% genuinely believes that madoka regrets her wish. madoka (while not having all her memories) says she could never do what she did as a goddess — that is, leave all her friends and family behind, erase herself from existence, etc. and after this, homura then 1) believes her, and 2) blames this perceived misery madoka felt as a goddess on herself (iirc, she says something like "if those are your true feelings, then what a terrible mistake i've made").

she blames herself for "letting" madoka contract, thinking madoka was miserable, thinking she once again committed a grave sin by "breaking her promise" to madoka by letting her contract. remember, the reason the looping seemed to continue on for so long in the first place is that madoka begged homura as she was dying to make sure she didn't contract. homura had been ready to die, along madoka's side. and madoka, as any fourteen year old would, wanted to keep it from happening again.

then rebellion kicks in, and homura (in her despairing state) thinks that not only 1) she has betrayed her promise to madoka by letting her contract in the first place, and 2) that madoka is horribly lonely and miserable after the contract/wish was granted. she 100% whole heartedly believes this, and also believes the only way she can fulfill the promise and protect madoka from kyubey is to rip her from goddesshood.

kyubey openly said in rebellion the whole reason homura is in the isolation field is because he's using her to get to madoka. he can't prove the LoC exists, only homura knows who madoka is, so they can eventually control madoka/the LoC by having her save homura. homura is put in a spot where she can't really even let madoka save her, because that gives kyubey access to seeing madoka, which can lead to him controlling her. and even if he doesn't get madoka that time, there's always a chance he could try this isolation field trick with any other magical girl, possibly even another one of madoka's friends, since the LoC wouldn't just willingly ignore a magical girl despairing. and he has all the time in the world to work on getting control of the LoC/madoka (an incomprehensible amount of it), provided entropy doesn't accelerate, and his species is both determined and much more advanced than humans.

homura doesn't do it because she's bored or evil or For Fun or because she's a "yandere" or whatever the hell else some people claim. she unequivocally thinks it's what madoka wants, and that it's the only way she can keep madoka from being controlled and hurt by kyubey, once again echoing back to the promise made in an earlier timeline ("can you go back in time and make sure i don't get tricked by kyubey?").

#pmmm #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #homura akemi #essays #not as well written though..

277 notes · View notes

bb-enablefreebuild · 2 months

Text

NTN opinions

so I haven't read NTN very recently (or the other locked tomb books) but its the most recent installment about Nona I think about a lot.

Muir said that she was splitting Alecto the Ninth into two parts, NTN and then ATN. She explained that Nona already had a complete story arc and could be its own separate book. Obviously there's nothing wrong with that.

But to be quite honest, I feel like most of NTN could have been cut. The most important parts of Nona are these:

More detail about the Blood of Eden

Nona's relationship with Varun the Eater

Her dreams of John Gaius

Now don't get me wrong, I loved seeing Nona going to school as a teachers aide and making friends! The problem is, the relationships she develops with the kids like Hot Sauce aren't...very important. I think it would have been better if Nona developed relationships with characters that she already knew, like Crown (Coronabeth) for example.

If Nona being friends with a group of kiddos is important, then maybe she should do it specifically with kids from the Blood of Eden. Out of all of Nona's friends, her relationship with Noodle the dog is the most important, and maybe Hot Sauce. She could be another niece of Wake, the same as Pash. It would explain why Hot Sauce is so suspicious of necromancers and why she shot up Nona in that one scene.

Also, If Nona is the secret weapon, why isn't she more involved with B.O.E? It's implied that the Blood of Eden is on the struggle bus. Wouldn't the inception have more depth if Nona was among their ranks right before their eyes, it'd be a major example of why they've failed for so long to stop Mr. Jod.

Cam and Palamedes could have gathered a few trust worthy relationships used to protect Nona too. Heck, the Blood of Eden could have a "school" of their own where they teach the kids of their soldiers propaganda, look at how Pash was raised!

I genuinely believe that all of the stuff that happened could have been condensed to a feasible first part. As an author, cutting things we're proud of writing is like shooting yourself in the head then doing it again. But I think if I was in Muir's shoes, I would've done it. I love Hot Sauce, Kevin and the other kiddos so much but they're just...not important enough for the over all plot :(

Lastly, and this is where I'm getting super nit picky, but I wish there was more world building. I 100% appreciate Muir's trust in the readers intelligence and for us to put the pieces together. I understood that Steles were used to travel far distances and "flip" planets to be colonized for necromancers. I VASTLY prefer this instead of five hundred pages of exposition (Fourth Wing) slammed into the beginning of the book.

That being said, a little bit of exposition is fine. Gideon The Ninth does this perfectly with explaining thanergy and other necromancer related info. We learn more in HTN as well. I think Muir was thinking that "Nona wouldn't know these things, so it can't be expressed in the book" which I totally get, but Nona has a canon excuse for just Having knowledge! Her uncanny reading of body language and understanding of different languages? Her ability to draw animals from Earth that were lost to public knowledge? Nona just casually absorbing information and thinking about it in her internal monologue is completely reasonable. I say this to point out that Muir was too vague with the world building in NTN. Yes, I could fill in the gaps but I would have loved more information about the colony planets outside of the House system! She's doing too much showing, which I think is precisely why NTN got much too long.

Anyway, PLEASE take all of this with a grain of salt. I love Nona the Ninth and I think the way it was written is digestible and good! It's just not how I would have done it. Please Tamsyn I'm begging you for lore I am BEGGING YOU FOR LORE.

#my opinions do not matter btw. I am just shitting out of my mouth.#nona the ninth #ntn #the locked tomb #tlt series #tamsyn muir #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #alecto the ninth #john gaius #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #uuuhhhhhhh #pyrrha dve #*

22 notes · View notes

umgeorge · 2 months

Text

george russell is interviewed during the press conference, saudi arabia - march 6, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "George, why don't we start with you? Mercedes were difficult to read at the pre-season test, and it feels they were a little bit difficult to read at the first race weekend, as well. What conclusions did you draw from the Bahrain Grand Prix?" George: "I think the conclusions we drew were the car has potential. I think when we saw the pace on FP2, that was genuine. Lewis and I had P1 and P2. I think probably not everybody turned up, but we were genuinely fast. And then in the race we had some really big cooling issues that caught us by surprise, and we know there's at least a fifteen second loss just in the battery and the power, and probably more after you consider the effect it had on the tires. And just an extra couple of seconds in stint one, when I had Checo beind me, would have been pretty handy, so I think we'd have been in the fight for P2, for the podium, with Checo and Carlos, but definitely we didn't show our true potential." Interviewer: "Were those cooling issues a simple miscalculation, or something that actually needs a fix?" George: "I think it was definitely a miscalculation. It would have been quite straightforward to just open the bodywork very slightly and make things much easier, but we don't know how we fell into that place… Sorry, I'm just distracted by Charles walking in." [laughs] Interviewer: "Charles. Welcome!" Leclerc: "Sorry." George: "Yeah, lost my groove now. [laughs] No, but we don't really understand why, because we didn't change anything from testing-in FP2, as well-and it suddenly caught us out on Saturday, so I'm sure it'll be better this weekend." Interviewer: "I was gonna say, are you worried about it this weekend? George: "We need to get on top of it, and we've got some tests tomorrow to try and understand further what happened." Interviewer: "Alright. Thank you, George." [time jump] Journalist: "Nelson Valkenburg, Viaplay, for George: F1 media, everybody, is obsessed with the possibility of is Max going to Mercedes. How would you feel if a driver who had some choice words for you a year ago would join the team?" George: [laughs] "Yeah, I think… As I said last week in Bahrain, this is my third season now alongside Lewis, greatest driver of all time, and I feel like I've done a pretty good job alongside him, so whoever were to line up alongside me next year or the years to come, I welcome anybody, welcome the challenge. You always wanna go against the best, but ultimately, for me, just focused on myself. I believe in myself, I believe I can beat anybody on the grid, and you just got to have that mentality, so as I said, having Lewis as my benchmark for the last couple of years has been a pretty good benchmark, for sure." [time jump]

Journalist: "But what chance, George? What chance is Max Verstappen really going to Mercedes? From the inside, could you see it happening? 'Cause it would be perobably the biggest story since your current teammate signed for Ferrari." George: "I think any team want to have the best driver line-up possible and right now Max is the best driver on the grid, so if any team had a chance to sign Max they would 100% be taking it. So I think the question's more on the other side, on his side, and on Red Bull's side. Obviously so much going on there. We don't know what truly's going on behind closed doors and ultimately it's none of our business right now. Yeah, I guess it would be exciting." [time jump] (NOT SHOWN:) Journalist: "David Croft, Sky Sports F1. You all did 57 laps. Everyone did 57 laps, apart from those that were lapped, on Saturday in Bahrain. You all went into the race optimistic, I'm sure, because it was the first race of the season. How was your optimism levels at the checkered flag? That's to all of you." George: "I think after three days of testing everybody knows Bahrain pretty well. It all panned out as we probably expected, but obviously we all hope that the field tightens up a little bit right at the front. But the fight behind Max, I think, is really, really tight and it's gonna be quite exciting, between ourselves, Ferrari, Aston, and McLaren." [time jump] (NOT SHOWN:) Journalist: "Diego Mejia, Fox Sports Mexico. Both Charles and George, about the issues you had with the cooling, with the brakes and the power unit, is that a worry here? Was it probably the changing conditions in Bahrain that caused that, that we had probably the lowest temperature before the race started and then it was increasing over the race weekend?" George: "Yeah, similar to Charles, it was definitely a bit of an odd one for us, but we're confident we're on top of it and won't face the same issue this weekend."

#george russell #f1 #formula 1 #saudi arabian gp 2024 #fic ref #fic ref 2024 #saudi arabia #saudi arabia 2024 #saudi arabia 2024 wednesday #yuki tsunoda #charles leclerc #valtteri bottas #lance stroll #nico hulkenberg #tw max #with lewis

27 notes · View notes

scoobydoodean · 4 months

Note

I don't mean to talk out of my ass, and am saying nothing about how alcoholism works in the real world, but when it comes to the fictional world of the show I really don't think they ever meant to imply Dean has a dependency issue when it comes to alcohol. I think what the show is actually doing is using short hand for either "Dean is in a bad mental state and self medicating" or, separately and not related to that, is using alcohol as a glamorized "cowboy who can put away his liquor" shorthand. For contrast, I'm watching House right now and (regardless of if it does a good job depicting addiction, which I feel absolutely unqualified to comment on) it does want the audience to understand that House is an addict.

I think the issue is there is a lot of room to bring your own personal experiences with alcohol to interpreting the show, and obviously if those have been bad it's easy to apply that to Dean, who does drink frequently in show. As do Sam, Cas, Bobby, Rufus, Ellen, etc. I don't know why people focus in on Dean specifically, though.

I think the funniest thing about this disk horse (which I consider to be over btw—using this as a springboard for closing thoughts) is that I never said at any point that Dean has never abused alcohol. I didn't even say there's no point in the show at which he can be described as an alcoholic (Dean describes himself as one in 10.12 "About A Boy"). I didn't even say I would never believe that Dean has ever driven drunk ever in his entire life, or that headcanoning that Dean has driven drunk before at some point is somehow some horrible evil thing.

All I did was respond to mail asking me if I remembered times in the actual show where Dean was shown drunk driving, because my anon heard a claim that it is shown to us "All of the time" in the actual show, and didn't remember that, and they were looking for someone with a more recent memory who could corroborate. So I said I don't remember that happening explicitly in the show either, and invited people to provide examples if they remembered an example.

I think if the show wanted to say Dean is a frequent drunk driver— specifically—the show would show me Dean being a drunk driver. It wasn't a problem for the show to quite overtly show me Sam driving drunk in 4.09—it wasn't something they shied away from showing. If (to your point—which you are absolutely right about) alcohol is used as a signal of our characters current mental states (Bobby in 4.01, Sam in 4.09, Cas in 5.17, Dean in 10.22, etc) then there's no reason the show would refuse to simply show me Dean being a frequent drunk driver. I'd be happy to explore it if I thought frequent drunk driving was a genuine facet of Dean's character. I just don't think it is, because the show doesn't show me that. And people can say all day long that "Dean drinks a lot" + "Dean has a car and is often in the drivers seat" = "Dean is a frequent drunk driver" until they're blue in the face. I am still holding out my hand, palm up, waiting for an actual example instead of whiney voices crying and whining insisting it simply HAS to be true because they think it should be.

I think you're right at the end of the day that the show isn't worried about Dean being an alcoholic as much as the show uses upticks in each character's drinking to indicate they're going through something—you're 100% right there. I also understand and respect that some people legitimately—with well-meaning intent—want to explore Dean's relationship to alcohol, because it's absolutely in theme imo and I think there's more attention ultimately put on it with Dean than any other character (though this is not true up to season 4 in my current rewatch). I just can't say I'm sitting here wringing my hands over Dean's relationship with alcohol in the actual canon of the actual show. I'm just not. The fact is, our characters have extremely limited options in terms of coping tools, and have trauma more extensive in breadth and length and diversity than anyone in real life has experienced ever, and are almost perpetually existing in a war zone. The fact that they self-medicate in various ways in order to cope isn't remotely surprising and I don't think there's anything shameful and evil about it either especially given their circumstances and utter lack of options. I just also... don't think Dean is a frequent drunk driver.

#mail #dean and drugs #people can shout “headcanon” all day long but at the end of the day they aren't treating this as a headcanon.#Numerous people appear to have instead been mad at me for not accepting their headcanon as canonical fact.#And canon is what my anon fucking asked me about—not whoever's headcanon.

40 notes · View notes

vergess · 6 months

Note

Is “from the river to the sea” inherently an antisemetic dog whistle or can it be used in good faith in a similar vein to Free Palestine?

I’ve been hearing conflicting viewpoints

obviously if you feel uncomfortable you don’t have to answer

It's... complicated.

Personally, I don't believe most people saying "from the river to the sea" are actually calling for the immediate dismantling and re-refugeeing of Israel's entire population.

Nevertheless in absolute terms, that is EXACTLY what the slogan is demanding. See, a lot of people don't actually look at a map:

The area highlighted in red is, approximately, what "the river to the sea" refers to in its most conservative terms. Note how almost every single population center is within that range.

In practical terms, it's straight up a demand that Israel stop existing and Palestine be returned to local control.

And normally, being a fucking sensible person, you'd think, "Well, land back! Give it back!!"

Only you're assuming Israelis are colonizers.

Which IS. NOT. TRUE. Just because Israel is operating as a US colonial project doesn't make Israelis colonizers themselves.

Israelis are better thought of as refugees. People who were successfully genocided out of EVERY SURROUNDING NATION:

This map shows the expulsion or genocide of Jews from the area surrounding Israel over the last century.

Black-coloured countries have eliminated over 80% and up to 100% of their Jewish populations. That is to say, countries in black successfully committed genocide against their Jewish populations in the last century.

With any surviving refugees sent where?

To Israel.

Red represents greater than 60% population loss. In a century.

Blue represents 40+%, and yellow 20+%.

Remember: population loss over 10% is considered a strong indication of genocide, and 30% population loss is proof.

And remember that these number include the entire span of time between the holocaust and now.

IF it were possible to genuinely negotiate in good faith a peace treaty that allows Jewish refugees to Israel to stay in the Jewish Homeland that they've only barely even been sent to.

Then maybe "from the river to the sea" would not be a threat to finish off the last survivors of genocide.

But between US interventionism in the region, existing racial tensions, and the last century of genocide?

Good faith negotiations simply are not possible right now, and they won't be possible until the US and European powers make it possible by dialing back the imperialism and instead using their massive global power to support genuine negotiations of peace, that actually strive to develop a healthy, equitable society for both Jewish refugees returning to their historic homeland AND the people already living there.

Which, let's be realistic here. The EU is so busy crowing about how it's less racist than the US that they deny having even participated in these forced expulsions, claiming it was all "voluntary." And the US is literally still enslaving BIPOC in prisons.

So! That's just not going to happen!!

Which means we have to look at the phrase "from the river to the sea" not in the context of peace where it would be harmless, but in the context of, unfortunately, more wars over the last century than you could even give names to.

Where it calls for the expulsion of Jewish refugees from their homeland.

To where?

Well, most likely to death. After all, it's not like we're raring to take in ~7 million surviving Israeli Jews here in the US.

And that's the quiet part, I think. The part that people don't realize is being implied.

If Israel is gone, as the chant demands, then where do the 7 million Jewish Israelis go?

"Back home"? To the nations that killed off their entire families?

Because this isn't like land back movements in North America, where it is widely accepted that there would be no expulsions or relocations because they're inhumane.

The expulsions and forced relocations are already underway and currently ongoing.

That's the distinction that I think a lot of gentiles in the west don't grasp.

This slogan isn't "turn Israel over to Palestinian governance to achieve freedom" it's "turn Israel over to Palestinian control to complete the last century of genocides."

Like. Okay. In my ideal world, Israel as a state would never have been founded because the UK wouldn't have Done That To Palestine. But we live in this world, with this history.

To clamour for the dissolution of the Israeli state is to clamour for the slaughter and expulsion of 7 millions Jews. Bro that's half the global population.

Now, do I think "from the river to the sea" is an evil phrase and everyone who says it is genocidal?

No.

I think it's a poetic chant that works well in English and gets a decent message across to most listeners that they should support Palestinian humanity in the face of that genocide.

But I think that if I catch your ass shouting it after a ceasefire or during peace negotiations instead of during actual war crimes?

I won't be likely to trust you. Either you're well intended but uninformed, or worse, you know damned well what you're doing and its vile.

So, I don't know. I guess I would say it's not inherently antisemitic now, at this moment in time.

But give it a few months, and it will be, just like it has been before.

#Asks #Answered asks #opabinia-777 #IP main #From the River to the Sea #Palestine will be Free

46 notes · View notes

sullina · 27 days

Text

Steven universe future episode 15 "Mr. Universe" starting with Greg and Steven going on a roadtrip to the tune of "dear old dad" and ending with Steven deleting the old yearbook photo off his phone.

I just love this kind of extreme contrast.

the episode starts with Steven genuinely believing that his dad might be able to help him after what undoubtedly feels like an eternity of a confusing and aimless hell for Steven (as having a mental illness tends to be).

Finally, something to help him get better.

Only to realize how terrible he really had it. He says it himself. "I grew up in a van! I've never even been to a doctor until two days ago!" along with how he never went to school on top of that, when Gregs parents, Stevens grandparents, were "right here".

This is the episode that Steven (and also I) realized that while Greg loved him dearly, he was not cut out to be a father. Or at least, he didn't know how to be a father, how to properly care for a child.

Gregs parents were extremely strict, according to Greg himself, and Greg obviously didn't want to be like them, but he overcorrected into the opposite direction: total freedom. But children need boundaries and rules. Not so many as to be suffocating, but at least some structure to learn what was safe to do and what wasn't.

That last part did not exactly apply to Stevens childhood. We never see his early childhood, but from the start of the first show, Steven is exposed to genuinely traumatizing danger over and over and over (as shown in the "Growing pains" episode, where Steven goes to the hospital and recounts all the traumatizing stuff that happened to him to Connies mom, Dr. Maheswaran). Steven knew what was dangerous, but he never seemed to learn what "safe" really was, considering not just Steven himself, but his home and family and friends were often under attack. Not to mention all of the physical injuries he got. Steven never really got away from just about any dangerous situation with "just" a bruise. He could have died, and he knows this. Any danger he's faced has been potentially lethal. This is not healthy, but the consequences only show up later.

But as a child, he either wasn't 100% aware of that fact, or decided to just subconsciously shove it down and not think about it ("not thinking about the bad stuff" is also a confirmed coping mechanism for young steven, as shown in "mindful education", the episode that features the song "here comes a thought"). But young steven only felt bad about the stuff that he couldn't do for others. The bad stuff that happened to himself didn't really seem to register, because there was always something more important going on, and even when there wasn't, no one ever checked in on Steven afterwards. Everyone just assumed he was okay, and that was it. Even Steven himself.

When there wasn't a (usually life-threatening) mission going on, Steven was very often left to his own devices. And that extends beyond just mission stuff. I don't think we've ever seen anyone actually cook for Steven. Whenever he eats, it's either some kind of take-out food, or food he made for himself. And it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it does send the message of "you're responsible for yourself, if you can't take care of yourself on your own, no one will do it for you". Add that and the fact that it was Steven who helped the Gems through their mental stuff (especially Pearl, especially when concerning anything related to Rose), I can't blame Steven for internalizing the message of "you're responsible for yourself and also everyone else (so all you're good for is helping others regardless of your own wellbeing, which is not important)"

And bringing it back around to Greg... Greg never had the courage for any sort of real confrontation. Initially, you can blame his own parents for that, if we assume that any attempt for Greg to properly assert himself was only ever met with more abuse than he was already subjected to by them. However, while the blame is not with Greg himself, as an adult, he is responsible for healing from that. But he didn't, and the consequences of this trauma are still there. Greg lived without any ability for serious confrontation and asserting himself by just... running away. He ran away from his parents with the van. And while he tried to reconnect with them later on with the letters, those letters were never opened. Greg probably never recieved a response from them, and he most likely didn't even visit to check on them, if the letters ever even arrived. Whenever there was gem-stuff involved, he ran away (quite literally), and in Steven Universe Future, when Steven crashed the van? He tells his son that he's proud of him for "telling him off", because he's glad that his own son can tell him anything.

Steven is distressed by this reaction. A lot.

And it's this reaction that tells him that Greg can't help him.

It's just such an odd reaction. You crash your dads van and he tells you he's proud of him? I mean what kind of reaction is that? You'd expect to be reprimanded. Or at least be asked something like "what the hell was that? Why did you do that?" But Greg didn't. He didn't confront his own son after crashing the very van he's built his life with. The only thing Greg did was make sure that Steven was alright physically.

And the next episode? The gems do reprimand Steven, but what for? For endangering his dad, who is a "fragile human". There was little to no concern for Steven himself. No "What was going on" or anything, just a "what were you thinking?" as if Steven crashed the van on purpose, which he didn't.

Steven never recieved any boundaries to keep him safe, and the only other family, the one he was actually living with, the Gems, most often left him completely alone unless there was a mission to complete. Steven mainly cared for his own self in his day to day life. He even seemed to do his own laundry a lot of the time, he was the one making sure he was fed at age 13 and up, likely also the one to make sure he had a personal hygiene routine. While we don't know about that last part, Greg wasn't living with Steven, and while i don't doubt he taught his son about personal hygiene, it was up to Steven himself to enforce it. If 13 year old Steven didn't feel like brushing his teeth some days, would anyone have made sure he did it anyway?

And what about education? We know Steven knows how to read and write and probably the basics of math as well. He knows the basics of what he needs to know, either taught to him by Greg or by Pearl, but anything beyond that? Physics? Chemistry? At least some basic science?

And not just education itself, school is also important to socializing, getting to know people of your own age group. Living at the temple, Steven was pretty much isolated. Sure, he knew people in town, but i don't think we ever see them actually visiting him, or him visiting anyone else just to hang out. And even when we do, it's pretty rare.

The closest thing Steven had to a friend his own age was Onion, and Onion is, well... he's Onion. And shown to commit legit crimes more than once. And Steven is often shown to be kind of scared of Onion, or at least uncomfortable around him. He takes it in stride, but I'm pretty sure if Steven ever thought about it properly, he would probably say that Onion freaked him out. Plus, Onion is much younger than Steven, seeing as Steven should be around the same age as Sour Cream (since they were both babies around the same time, though SC is probably a year or so older than Steven still).

Everyone around Steven was either his caretaker (who weren't very good at their job as proper guardian) or an acquaintance at best and likely unaware of what was going on with Steven at home.

Steven was isolated and neglected in vital parts of his upbringing, the best the gems did was making sure he didn't die, and Greg was no longer reliably around to make sure everything was alright, unless Steven came to him. And Steven was the one to take care of his guardians in their critical moments.

And still, Steven was a "good" child. He took care of his own physical human needs, with no one around to make sure that he did. When something bothered him, he took care of it himself. When others were bothered by something, Steven took care of them, too.

Even in battle, he tried to resolve everything peacefully when he could. When he couldn't, like with the corrupted gems, he fought when needed, to the best of his abilities. The more his powers came in, the more missions he could go on (the more time he could spend with the gems who were his family).

He made himself useful, not unlike a weapon: to be drawn when needed, and put away when not needed.

But he's not a weapon. He's an alive being with needs, emotional and physical. But the gems didn't seem to realize that. Greg wasn't properly caring for him like he should have. In the episode where Lapis steals the ocean, Greg even asks "is this what every mission is like for you, Steven? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you going on these anymore." (i think he was interrupted then, but that's pretty much what he said) Greg doesn't know what happens on these missions, and even when he expresses his dicomfort with his son being put in danger, nothing actually happens to make that stop. Stevens physical needs were taken care of by himself. His emotional needs were often disregarded, not only by the gems, but by himself as well.

He made himself small, bottling up his issues and not bothering anyone with them.

And everyone else just... let him. Just let that happen. Steven was fine, right? If he's not calling for help, then everything must be fine, right?

The gems and Greg only ever started to say something in SU Future, when it was pretty obvious that Steven was no longer alright. When the problems became harder and harder for Steven to hide.

And even when it was obvious that he wasn't alright, Steven himself kept insisting that he was fine, because he couldn't be not fine, he had to be fine, because he couldn't help others if he wasn't, and if he couldn't help others, then what was he good for-

In "Growing pains", when Steven goes to the hospital, Greg is actively forced to confront his son and assure him that he'll help, that he's there for him, and they will figure this out together. And things seem to look up for Steven. Well, until the next episode, when Greg shows him the solution that helped him when he was younger. When that didn't help Steven though, Greg tried to push it on him again. When Steven lashes out at how Greg messed up with caring for him, Greg completely fails to see it and keeps saying how Steven had "actual freedom".

But too much freedom isn't much different from utter neglect.

And even when Steven crashes the van, Greg still fails as a parent. Sure, Steven is alive, but he refuses to confront his emotional wellbeing, the real problem. Greg Universe runs away again. Like he did from any gem-related issue. Like he did from raising Steven as soon as the gems took over. Like he did from his own parents.

And because of this, he would never be able to help his son. He could never teach Steven how to cope, because Gregs only way of coping seemed to be "run away from your problem". But Steven could only run from his problems for so long. He bottled his problems up and internalized them, but that bottle was always gonna burst sooner or later, and then what? Steven couldn't run from himself, because wherever he went, he would always be there.

His own father couldn't help him.

The gems couldn't help him.

Literally the only adult who was able to give him any sort of help was Dr. Maheswaran, and even then, all she could do for him was identify the problem.

Steven was on his own.

But it's not like he was dying or anything, so he was fine, right? As long as he wasn't dead, he was okay, he could take care of himself and everyone else like he's always done.

He always took care of everyone else.

So why were they leaving?

Why were they moving on without him?

Why are they leaving him behind? He's been good, hasn't he?

And even when he messed up, he always fixed things, didn't he? Always!

He fixed things! That's what he does! He's Steven, the one who always helps everyone and never needs help himself, but if they were leaving, was he really a good child? Was he really helpful?

But if he wasn't helpful, then... what has he been doing all this time?

If helpful Steven wasn't helpful, then he could only be a fraud.

No... no, he could always find a problem to fix! And if he couldn't find one, he would just have to create one! As long as he could create problems, he would never run out of problems to fix, right?

As long as he just keeps messing up and creating problems-

Wait...

No...

That's not right...

If he's creating problems, he's not helpful...

He's a monster.

#Steven universe future #suf #su #steven universe #long post #this got long #i do hope it's coherent though bc i refuse to re-read and edit this stuff bc I'll only confuse myself #also while it may not seem like it i do love the gems and greg #but it's very clear they were not great caretakers for Steven #anyway:#cw child neglect #cw spiraling thoughts #even if it's “just” the spiraling thoughts of a fictional character

13 notes · View notes

ruporas · 1 year

Note

i've been wondering- what do you think of vash and ww's relationship to pain? do u have any thoughts on it??

cuz i was just thinking like. obviously they're both extremely resilient and don't care much if they get hurt in the process of achieving whatever, but like... as for the pain specifically, i have to wonder.

cuz i'm reading trimax for the first time and toward the end of the sand steamer mess kite basically asks if vash even feels pain. and i mean... he has to, since not that long ago he just hit the floor with a dramatic blood splatter lmao. but like.

is he just suppressing visible reactions? or does he just not feel pain unless it's above a certain level?

and i wanna know about ww too if you have thoughts, i just haven't gotten that far in trimax :')

forgive me if my wording is all over the place, i havent been very elegant in my words Lately, but i am always down to talk about specific shit involving vash and wolfwood,

if we're just talking physical pain, yeah, i think they feel pain normally!

For Vash, he is the master of repression throughout Trimax, so I think naturally, he keeps a strong face no matter the level of hurt, whether on the outside or inner. It's just in his nature to not allow others to worry about him by pulling through with a fake smile or in some cases, he feels like he deserves the pain inflicted on him so even if he's getting pulverized to shit or threatened against his life, he'd default to a silence as opposed to screaming in agony that might make people think he isn't feeling anything. It's probably also second nature for him to no longer yelp or cry at pain after the amount of years he's spent getting hurt, but i think this only applies if he isn't emotionally involved in a fight (which is rare, but it happens in ch. 38).

In terms of physical pain, he seems to feel it like how regular humans do. I've thrown together some examples where he goes owchie owchie owchie that aren't too spoilery:

The Emilio scene is kind of why I don't think he's just playing up the theatrics of feeling pain, though I do think he would on some occasion, especially since he roleplays with children all the time. Verbally saying "ow ow ow" could potentially be an instinctive reaction too or maybe a source of comfort. But yeah!! I think Vash has always been able to feel pain and it's not like being a plant has lessen his ability to do so. Any resilience built is tacked on due to him being alive for 100 years and being a guy with a clear painted bullseye on his entire figure that ends up getting him shot and scarred.

In the end, the pain that gets to Vash the most will always be on an emotional level rather than physical, but Vash is such a genuine person and so present when it comes to other people that even if it's a pain he can take, it'll still hurt him terribly in more ways than one.

For Wolfwood; I think in general, those under the Eye of Michael have a strong resilience to dealing with pain due to the regen potions and the amount of training forced on them. I don't think we ever get the full description of what exactly those in EoM endured throughout their younger years, but we saw WW get shot at an early age in chapter 12 and we can assume it happened more than once. Over and over again until he won't even flinch against it just like how killing without hesitation was attempted to be drilled into him. I don't really know how it works scientifically… but I fully believe that he's mostly numbed to the physical sensation of it and it's the psychological part that gets to him more. Wolfwood himself is a naturally skilled fighter too, not that that really has anything to do with his dealing with pain, but I think his focus and attention on a battle and his stubbornness to win kicks an adrenaline that allows him to ignore the pain.

Though, his body also gets sore and tired just like any regular human does and there's this instance where he goes owie too:

(While NOT as much as Tristamp WW does where he's cracking a cold one every goddamn minute, I do think Trimax WW has gotten used to taking regen pots and thus, can afford to be careless and not give a damn.)

So, physically, technically in canon, they don't really have anything that specially makes either of them unable to feel pain, but just as you said, they're incredibly resilient. And ultimately, the both of them are affected emotionally/psychologically that hurts them more than the physical aspect of it, considering how physical pain is almost a daily chore for them to deal with (Vash being hunted for sport for majority of his life + Wolfwood being involved in experiments/killings for majority of his life.)

I think Trigun in general, while showing physical pain being a strong factor of hurt for regular people like us constantly seeing civiilians get beat up or shot, it tends to boil down to the multiple varieties of pain when it comes to those who deal with physical pain often (Gung Hos, Vash, EoM members).

I didn't know where to put these comments but here are extra thoughts:

They're both evidently really good at hiding their pains or any mark of vulnerability. They both could have a hole in their chest and go days without anyone else noticing so long it isn't killing them.

They're both pretty reckless during battle, but I think for Vash, he already tries to avoid violence at all cost and thus, do in a roundabout way lessen his own chance of getting hit in hoping to not stir that violence against another. As a result, I think Wolfwood can be way more reckless and ends up getting hurt more unnecessarily as a result of it.

They both are capable of healing at quick rates so I'm sure that allows the pain to feel more temporary, less of a risk to sustain, and to further hone in not caring too much about getting shot. That only applies for themselves individually though because every time they see each other get hurt, they're always so so worried despite knowing the other will be fine.

i'm pretty sure i repeated myself like 800 times, but i hope this Answered the question SFGMSDKGSMDKH i also tried to be vague enough in my wordings and focus only on the beginning-ish of trimax so to not spoil! i hope u enjoy ur reading of it!!

#asks #thank you for sending this and for your curiosity on my silly thoughts #honestly i dont think this is very coherent but i hope it is at least comprehensible. if im like. missing or wrong about anything #feel free to lmk.....#i do think its so crazy though that vw both understand the other is not like a regular person by any standard #and like sure vash knows sees and breathes in the fact that wolfwood /is/ human but he also can't see ww as just Another human #bc that human is entrusted with his back and does a good ass job protecting it. ww is like #super abnormal to him but in a positive human way--#but where im going is that both of them know that about each other but still are so concerned all up with each other #Never once faltering in worrying about each other. granted theyre both so haunted by the amount of people theyv seen die and are thoroughly #afraid of that same thing happening to each other regardless of each other's monstrous capabilities of surviving but theyre just so #protective in some way as a result.#anyway i am sleepyg....

85 notes · View notes

moghedien · 8 months

Text

I still do wonder if Liandrin actually had something to do with Nynaeve's trial going bad, because the only way I could see her trying to genuinely be helping Nynaeve is if she is 100% sure she could turn her Black, and even then I'm not sure she'd risk actually having a Black Ajah member that much stronger than her around, so I'm tempted to believe that she did just want to get rid of Nynaeve in a plausible way

because look at how she dealt with Mat. She told him that Egwene is in the tower and he should go to her. So assume that does happen and Mat is sticking around and then oh no, Egwene has to go to Falme right now immediately. if Mat went the "I'm gonna go comfort Egwene route" then he surely would stick around with her there and not abandon her, especially since Liandrin has been specifically been trying to make him feel guilty over abandoning his friends for months

but that didn't work, he didn't go to Egwene at all. Liandrin still has that covered because she's blackmailed Min into leading him somewhere (because if he didn't go with Egwene then he'd probably go with the one other person he's come to kinda know in this city who he can also help escape). We don't know where, but I'll be completely shocked if Min doesn't know that Falme is the end goal (even though she obviously wouldn't know why Liandrin wants them there).

Like she seems to have Mat and Egwene covered on how she's gonna get them out of the way and in Ishamael's hands. I don't see her not having similar plans within plans when it comes to Nynaeve and also getting her out of the way. The only way I see her doing that is MAYBE if she thinks she could get Nynaeve on her side enough to have her try to take on Ishamael or some of the Forsaken and use Nynaeve and her status as Nynaeve's mentor to elevate herself...but honestly that would require a lot of reliance on Nynaeve and I don't see her risking that much unless she was 100% certain she could get rid of Nynaeve too when all of this is done.

#wheel of time #wot on prime #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers #liandrin guirale #nynaeve al'meara #mat cauthon

35 notes · View notes

idontwanttospoiltheparty · 7 days

Note

I understand that the evidence to support Paul being not-completely-straight is less robust than the evidence that suggests John was likely bisexual, but his heterosexuality shouldn’t be a foregone conclusion, imo. Obviously I’m in the land of speculation here, but I find it hard to believe that Paul’s feelings toward John were 100% platonic, 100% of the time. The visible, fizzy chemistry between them often strikes me as flirtatious, and the idea of Paul as a passive receiver (lol) of unrequited adoration doesn’t align with anything I’ve observed. I also find Paul’s seeming preoccupation with the physical closeness he often enjoyed with John — the intimate way in which he describes sharing beds, songwriting (eyeball to eyeball), tripping, etc. — to be a telling indicator of feelings he may not have fully understood while John was alive. He seems to put a lot more emphasis on physical proximity when describing their relationship than is typically seen in platonic relationships (between men in particular). However! I have an obvious bias as a shipper that might be clouding my judgment. What do you think?

What a delicious ask!

I hear you, in general. I don't think it's weird to wonder, really. Like, I see how Paul's behaviour falls within the range of what someone who was full-on in love with John would do.

Though sometimes I feel I get a bit lost in the weeds of terminology. When you say Paul didn't always feel 100% platonic towards John, what specifically do you mean? That he actively fantasized about kissing/having sex with John? And let's say he did, I think there is actually a legitimate grey area of curiosity there. I'm actually of the belief that probably the concept of engaging in some type of non-platonic behaviour with John occurred to Paul at some point. (or, you could even say it unequivocally has, judging by his "if I had been a girl, I could have–" comment). Does the idea crossing Paul's mind constitute him having certified non-platonic feelings? I'm asking honestly, because I feel like sometimes people are talking past each other due to these terms not being clarified enough. What if it was even a semi-regular thought of his, that sort of toed the line between fixation and fantasy?

I think flirting is something people engage in without necessarily desiring anything, especially someone like Paul who seems to do it almost accidentally sometimes. I'm not sure what you mean by Paul being a receiver of unrequited adoration not aligning with anything you've observed? Because I think this is a point I've tried to make that often feels sort of misunderstood. I do think Paul was very attached to John and consistently sought out his approval as well as to connect with him, regardless of the nature of his attraction to him. I also wonder if Paul, as you suggested, maybe only considered his feelings might have been non-platonic after John had died, then… could it not be something Paul legitimately never figured out about himself? This is another completely serious question. Is it not possible that Paul has wondered but now no longer has a way to find out?

(I also genuinely think John dying and Paul having to constantly reaffirm to the world they were friends has made him grow gradually more over the top in professing his love for John. Part of what bothers me about some of the way shippers engage with what he says is that it basically feels like it's unself-awarely playing into all of this. Like, "Why does he always bring up John?" For you, partially. Also, that whole murder thing like actually happened, y'know?)

I also take your point re: Paul emphasizing his physical relationship with John a lot. I don't actually know how uncommon it is for men to talk about physical closeness. I've mentioned this before, but groups of men sharing small spaces aren't uncommon in society really (sports teams, the army, etc.). I actually feel like it would be a lot more outside gender norms if Paul emphasized how often he and John talked about their feelings to each other. Also, my far more grim reading of Paul's emphasis is that he, being insanely insecure about his relationship with John, clings to material proof of John liking him, and John being physically close to him is the most irrefutable argument he can think of. I also think he regrets having not been openly affectionate with John ("I should have hugged John all the time", he's said, I think) and thus really treasures those moments of closeness. It also seems like he's often emphasizing the smallness of these moments. John's tiny bedroom, the cramped spaces they were forced to share, Mimi's porch… I think Paul has also attached pre-fame nostalgia in general to John, because he seems to so often be recalling John before the Beatles became successful (I actually think this might be a key factor in his love of mentioning the Paris trip).

I don't know, I see how it's romantic, but I also have similar memories with my best friend that are really important to me, if I'm honest.

In the end, I hear you, it is possible, I just don't find it conclusive enough to feel overly comfortable going against Paul's own word, if that makes sense. If you have more thoughts I'd like to hear them though.

#ask #anon #paul #jp speculation #my analysis

13 notes · View notes

sevicia · 1 month

Text

Writer Guy's only "friend" who sucks majorly. Notes under da cut. Heart.

Firstly ☝️ he's heavily inspired by the experience of having someone follow you around even after you have told them very explicitly to stop doing so. Writer Guy will look him dead in the eye and say "I don't care about anything you have to say. Leave me alone, you annoy the shit outta me", and he'll just go "Bro you're always so funny LOL I'm probably the only one that gets ur sense of humor. Anyways, about my new podcast idea..."

This guy's deal is that he's obsessed with others' perception of him. He's an aspiring influencer and can't decide between being a youtuber, a streamer, or having a podcast. He's into crypto and defends NFTs like it's his job.

He met Writer Guy in college and has stuck to him like a leech ever since, even though they only had a few classes together. His reasoning was that Writer Guy seemed like the lone-wolf type and thus would attract attention with his ~mysterious~ charm, when in reality he was so boring that no one really paid him any mind. If you ask any of their ex-classmates, you'll find that no one really remembers either of them.

He spends a lot of time in r/shortguys and gets frustrated that he can't relate to the whole "women only ever pay attention to tall guys and we manlets are all martyrs" thing cause he's never even tried to get with a girl (he will lie about this). He's gay as hell but in almost complete denial. Genuinely believes stuff like "it's not gay with the socks on".

Unserious images that remind me of him:

I also gotta mention that his role in Mary and Writer Guy's story is very, very minimal, and that he never actually meets Mary. His story is a typical yaoi one where he falls in love with some guy and has one of those cliché "I'm not gay... why do I feel like this towards another man ?!?!!" moments. I chose to do it this way cuz I think it's funny as fuck to have him experience a romcom type thing while Writer Guy is basically Spongebob in the Silent Hill corridor.

I admit I'm not 100% sold on his hair, but it's brown for sure. Why? It just makes sense.

Some design notes including the other two:

Writer Guy is generally apathetic and would be considered boring at a surface level by 99,9% of the population. He teaches philosophy (ethics, specifically) at the college Mary attends, though they weren't aware of each other before The Events. His lectures are notoriously boring and many of his students sleep thru class or just skip them completely, but he passes them all anyways.

He's a writer in his spare time and writes trashy extreme horror on his (anonymous) blog, which is how Mary becomes aware of him. Stuff happens, his superiors (who are at best ambivalent towards him) find out about his hobby, he gets fired and doesn't care enough to defend himself or to raise any concerns about the school's attitude towards its teachers' private lives.

I also forgot to include his "On" design in the above pic, so here, a comparison:

I'm very obviously still figuring out how to draw him, but the drawing on the right is what he looks like at work. Just plain dorky and someone you would not look twice at.

I would also talk about his relationship with Mary, but for that I'd need to talk about Mary first, which I can't do rn cuz this post is already long enough and it's nearing 3 AM and she makes me absolutely BONKERS insane to the point I barely even know where to start when I wanna talk about her.

She's the only OC I have ever made a playlist for. I wish she was someone else's character so I could look at her without having to do the work myself.

A little fun fact about her is she used to dye her hair black before The Events. All I got for you rn.

OK that's all from me. For neoww...... Muah!

#diary #oc tag #oc talk #oc: mary #my art #the other 2 will get names someday too trust.#f slur #long post #oc: agnes #<- see? trust! :3

7 notes · View notes