how do i get a roommate scenario as sweet as yours when my 2 friends live super far away? i dont know how to safely find roommates let alone ones that are compatible enough to hang out daily
This ask comes at an extremely funny time because you would not believe some of the tension in this household rn
BUT that’s unrelated to the overall huge luck I’ve had with roommates. I have no roommate-finding advice for you I’m sorry, I stumbled ass backwards into having friends the weekend before I started my freshman year of college, and I kept them and then we moved in together
As for hanging out daily, I can maybe recommend having a group dinner once or twice a week? Some kind of “you cook, I clean, we split the cost” situation might work. Then you can chat or watch a couple episodes of a show together while you eat. The hangout has a built-in end if it gets awkward (start putting away the food and then make your goodbyes) or you can stay and chat as long as you want. I’ve heard most people practically never eat with their roommates and that’s wild to me, we cook group dinners three times a week. It’s nice to unwind and share the load (hey it’s HARD to feed yourself every night) and catch up with what everyone has been up to
I guess if I have any other advice for peaceful cohabitation it’s to be considerate. And I don’t mean it in a vague bullshit way, I mean it like,
“Oh your water bottle is empty, pass it to me and I’ll fill it when I fill mine”
And, “The stovetop is messy. I know that bothers them so I’ll clean it up”
And, “They’re taking out the trash, so I’ll put the new trashbag in the bin so they don’t have to”
And, “I have too many dirty dishes in my room because depression is real, but I gotta take them out so everyone else has bowls to use”
And, “Here I’ll help you put away the groceries”
And, “The toilet paper roll is almost gone, so I’ll finish it off and replace the roll” instead of leaving like two squares for the next person you monsters
And like just generally making life easier for each other. Sometimes you have to put on your adult undies and clean up a mess that isn’t your responsibility, and that’s because later it’ll be you who needs a little extra help. The first time you spend all day stressed because the sink is full of dishes you’re too busy to clean, only to come home and find that someone else did them for you, you’ll see what I mean. That, to me, is the difference between living with an adult and living with someone who’s still a child
It’s just… unbelievably nice to know that I have people who will go out of their way to make my life a little easier. I’m more than glad to do the same for them. So sometimes you have to be the bigger person and get the pattern started because that’s part of being an adult. But once you do, some people will see your consideration and start returning the favor, while others will see it and just… not. That’s how you find out who to keep.
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