#OH actually fun fact i started cooking chili before setting out and the way i timed it i got home just in time for it to be done cooking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canyouhearthelight · 3 years

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The Miys, Ch. 144

After much demand, Kink Night at the Undine has arrived. This chapter is really fun, was informative to write, but if you need to skip it, you won’t miss out on the overall story. So, trigger warnings on this chapter for:

- Bondage (mentions of)

- Pegging (possible mention of?)

- Impact play (discussed, both done wrongly and demonstrated correctly)

- Topping and bottoming

To be clear: These are all mentioned from the perspective of a non-participant, non-voyeur. I would probably overall rate this chapter appropriate for 14 years and older, but your mileage may vary. However, kink in general can be very healthy if done correctly, and this chapter was double beta-read, not only by @baelpenrose but also by @charlylimph-blog for accuracy of the scene. This actually prevented a PROFOUND mistake from making it to queueing, so I am super grateful for their help.

Once I was released from medical after an unnecessarily long lecture from Noah, I found I had a message waiting from Charly with a date and time to meet at the Undine. Right below that was a message from Sebastian with a uniform-slash-dresscode of sorts.

Aw nuggets. I had forgotten what night it was.

There wasn’t time to grab clothes from my quarters, but my office was on the way to the bar, so I stopped by to change. Socks and shoes were a bit of a challenge, since I generally didn’t wear either, so I had to find a vendor to help me fill in the gaps. Granted, shoes weren’t specified in Sebastian’s list. However, there was exactly a zero percent chance that I was going to lend a hand at a kink party while barefoot. Just… no. Nope. Not happening.

I wiped my palms nervously against my slacks when I arrived, not sure exactly what to expect. Charly and I had talked about it, but none of that knowledge wanted to make its presence known at the moment, apparently. Instead, my mind kept drifting to what in the actual hell she had roped Arthur into doing. The door opened entirely too soon to reveal a smiling Charly, who grabbed my arm and dragged me behind her to the small group already gathered.

All of my nerves were forced from my body by the sputtering laughter I fell victim to when I saw Arthur - I still had no idea what he would be doing, but he looked like someone took a post-apocalyptic movie hero and hit a button labelled ‘make him a villain’ a few too many times. The leather jacket and motorcycle pants were fairly innocuous, since I knew he actually owned both and neither were terribly uncommon on the Ark. Same thing held for the boots - they were just practical in the After and several people held on to that preference with a death grip.

“Cloak’s a nice touch,” I snorted, trying desperately to ignore the campier bits of his outfit.

I was dangerously close to losing it when he scowled and adjusted the laurel crown - I mean, really? - resting on his head. “I knew I shouldn’t have cut my hair this morning,” he muttered. “Damned thing won’t sit right anymore.”

Charly clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, one more run through of what everyone will be doing!”

Sebastian nodded seriously and flicked a towel over his shoulder before handing me an apron. “Sophia has kindly agreed to prep the snacks, while I serve and clean behind people. She’ll clear any dishes in between batches, and one or the other of us will do a lap of the floor every fifteen minutes to ensure everyone is hydrated and there’s no need for medical attention.” He winked at the relief on my face.

Cooking, clearing plates, and momming people into staying hydrated. I could do that.

Arthur brushed off his pauldrons, only forcing me to confront the fact that they were shaped like skulls again, before straightening with aplomb. “I will be Dungeon Master, keeping an eye on everything from there,” he pointed to a scaffold that had been put into place over the bartop, “And intervening as needed if things get out of hand.” Without so much as a twitch of question from me, he explained. “Charly and Coffey can’t be everywhere at once, so I get to perch on high, look ridiculous, and play bouncer if Coffey can’t get there first.”

“Yep,” Charly nodded seriously. For all that she normally seemed built out of chaos and energy, this was Boss Lady Charly. “Let’s keep it safe, sane, and consensual across the board. Speaking of!” She pulled two badges from seemingly nowhere. “Soph, Bash, these are for you.” I took one and immediately grinned when I read it. Staff Only - I Do Not Consent. “If either of you want to play, go for it, but otherwise, probably wear those. Sexy librarian and millionaire CEO are tropes that exist, so ya know - no confusion for anyone. Any questions, concerns, cries for help?” When we all shook our heads, she clapped again. “Okay, off you go! Thanks everyone.”

Sebastian tilted his head toward the kitchen and I followed, wiping my hands on my legs again. “Thank you for agreeing to help with snacks. I know Charly already told you, but I am not the greatest at finger foods that don’t make a mess or won’t be too heavy.”

I hummed for a second before making a few suggestions. “Macaroni and cheese bites, they’re about this big.” I made a circle about an inch and a half across with my fingers. “Just pop and go. Pigs in blankets, the kind with cocktail sausages… meatballs, but probably with lamb instead of beef. Dumplings.” I shrugged. “Charly swears people actually bring food to these, so once that stuff starts coming in, it would just be portioning it and sending it back out. We shouldn’t have too much actual cooking to do.”

He nodded and started grabbing ingredients. “So that leaves drinks, plates, and utensils.” When I reached for a rack of glasses, he stopped me. “No. If one of us drops anything that can break, people can get injured. I’ve been stocking up on fiber-based plates, forks, and spoons. Drinks are going to be in those corn-starch gel pouches.”

“Dude,” I groaned. “Those things get so gummy.”

“Straws are real and do exist.”

“Besides, I can already tell someone is going to find alternative uses for those,” Arthur called from behind us. I swear, I could hear him smirking. “You can’t put humans, sex, and flavored liquid in the same room and not expect that.”

I shook my head with a smile, but he had a point. Once we shooed him away, work on the snacks went pretty quick. Judging by the sounds coming from the main room, it was a good thing, too - furniture being dragged, then Arthur’s voice ringing out to welcome everyone. Soon, Sebastian was swinging out of the kitchen door with the first trays, and true to Charly’s word, he came back carrying a plate of neatly stacked fudge, followed by Arthur carrying a covered container.

“Scratch the meatballs, someone brought an actual mountain of sausage balls,” Arthur grunted as he slammed the container on a flat surface before retreating.

“Not even a joke?” I mused.

“Must be slipping,” Sebastian grinned. “I mean, he said ‘balls’ twice…”

“Low hanging fruit!” a voice called from the main room. It must have seemed entirely out of context to the crowd, but Sebastian and I were laughing as we started plating so he could carry more food out to the spots Charly had designated.

A timer went off, so I took the mac and cheese bites out of the oven, snagged a tray of drink-blobs, shoved a fistful of straws into my apron and took off to do my lap of the event. There were already people taking a break, reaching gratefully for hydration. Several times, someone would reach for one and pour it in a partner’s mouth, and on one occasion, a woman offered it up like a gift to a bound man, both biting into it and drinking greedily.

I almost stepped on someone before I realized there was an actual pile of people on the floor. I diverted my eyes quickly from what I thought was an all-out orgy before my brain registered that I wasn’t hearing sex noises - just whispers. Snapping my eyes back up, it took a moment to figure out that I had nearly stepped on the largest cuddle pile I had seen since my apartment on Insert Winter Holiday. Crouching, I balanced what was left of the drink blobs on one hand while holding out the straws with another. In no time at all, the tray was empty and I was heading back for more.

This time, food on one hand, drinks on the other, I exited the kitchen to see Charly wrapping up her rope-bondage safety lecture before starting to demonstrate different knots on a volunteer, with Charly in the role of the top for this scenario. Watching her calmly contort and restrain another human being while calmly explaining the psychology behind it was… kind of terrifying. I had to constantly remind myself that this person volunteered and that Charly was experienced on both ends of the rope.

One more sweep of the room landed me with only a dozen or so drinks left on top of a pile of empty trays. I backed into the kitchen to sanitize and re-load the trays, only to hear Sebastian swearing. “Who the hell brought chili!?”

“Apparently someone thought it was a good idea,” I shrugged, baffled. I mean, it didn’t seem like a good idea to me, but this wasn’t exactly my area of expertise. “Maybe we put it in bowls, set up a little station in one of the break areas, with toppings? Let people help themselves?”

“Bondage potlucks and chili…” He shook his head. “Trying to remind myself that I’ve seen weirder things, but…”

“I can promise you, they are having fun. And they’re hydrated!” I shook my mostly empty platter of blobs at him.

Sebastian went out to retrieve more food from the people who brought it, and I kept rolling sausages in dough. “More fudge!” he crowed. “I snagged a piece of the first batch, and it was amazing.”

“You clearly do not see the irony,” I muttered where he couldn’t hear me. “Oh, heavens, no chili! But fudge… fudge is fine…”

The next time I was able to break free and take my designated lap, a slight bit more chaos had descended as everyone had gotten more comfortable. Several of the more experienced were examining and complimenting each other on their knots and arrangements of their subs. Ivan and Jokul were doing…. Something… that involved Ivan in a gorgeous evening gown and Jokul with a gag in his mouth. I was almost done with my circuit when a thud reverberated behind me and a black cloak whipped by.

“For the love of…” Arthur growled. I thought he was going to dribble the cowering man he was glaring at like a basketball, but instead he brandished a marker and made two quick X’s on a bare pair of buttocks. “Here and here. Only here and here.” With an irritated flourish, he wrote NOT HERE across the small of the attached back. “This will give someone kidney damage. Specifically you if I catch you doing it again.” Ducking around to the face of the person he had just used as a whiteboard, he shook his finger. “And I’m not even going to apologize, because you have a safeword and you need to use it. First, last, and only warning, you two. If that hit had been any more than a nervous first tap, you wouldn’t even be getting that.” Without a word, he snagged the cane sitting on the table nearby and took it with him. “They aren’t getting anywhere near the cane, fucking idiots. Gotta talk to Charly about those two…” he muttered as he blew back past me, so angry he didn’t even acknowledge that I was standing there.

I almost dropped the stack of empty platters when the Imperial March started playing while Arthur stomped back into his position over the bar. “Attention, Deviants! Courtesy of some poor practices I’ve seen, I would like to invite Sir Coffey and his pet fae Charly to give us a tutorial on safe and proper impact play!” Applause started as he beckoned them forward, Sebastian theatrically adjusting the lights to center in front of the stage.

I ducked back into the kitchen as Coffey’s voice rang out over the crowd, explaining yet again safewords and consent before launching into what toys were used how and where. A little public humiliation never hurt anyone, I joked with myself. At least not for some of the people out there.

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

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thekitchenismykingdom · 4 years

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Take Me Out to the Ball Game - Lovestruck Fanfiction

Relationship: Lucien Rivercrest/Roman Tarrenglade Rating: G Summary: Roman is a huge baseball fan and goes with Lucien to see the Mariners play against the Blue Jays. A catch, a kiss, and a fun date. A/N: Lucien and Roman have such a fun dynamic in the series. Of course I’d end up shipping them. Roman is the “idiot sandwich” to Lucien’s Gordon Ramsay lol

Cheers rang out in the stadium as the sun shone down on the rowdy fans of Seattle. Beer sloshed in cups, popcorn flew through the air, and vendors waved their pretzels around for sale. A couple, one dressed appropriately for the occasion and the other more casual, sat in the middle of the stadium behind second base. The clear baseball fan of the two held a jumbo, overpriced hot dog in one hand and a small container of a bright red jam, the same colour as his hair in fact, in the other. He poured some of the jam onto the hot dog, and when satisfied, snapped the container closed and put it away.

Examining the hot dog carefully, from the line of yellow mustard to the jam he had just put on, Roman finally took a bite.

"Mmm, I can't believe I haven't tried a hot dog until now," he said between chews. "Human food really isn't that bad!"

Lucien hummed and munched on his peanut snacks. A little too sweet for his taste, but they would do for a ball game.

"Perhaps I could convince Liora to add these to the menu..." Roman continued, musing to himself after each bite.

Lucien stopped chewing and glanced at Roman.

"Yes, because these 'jumbo' hot dogs in tasteless buns belong next to my petit fours and raspberry charlotte."

"I would make them just as fancy as your petit fours, Lucien! They would be gourmet."

"Assuming I baked the perfect bun to go with them, maybe."

"I can jazz up any food and you know it," Roman countered with a huff. "This jam I whipped up from cooked gengan fruit adds a wonderfully complex spice and sweetness that pairs perfectly with the tangy mustard and this, ah, all beef hotdog."

Lucien smirked, but put his hand on top of Roman's and gave it a small squeeze.

"Come on, the bottom of the seventh is about to start."

Lucien could see the excitement in Roman's face, feel it in the way Roman gripped his hand as the game wound down to its final inning. It was the bottom of the ninth and the Mariners were losing to the Blue Jays by one run, with only one man out, and one of their best hitters was at bat.

"The Mariners are so close! A run would tie it, and another would win the whole thing!"

"I didn't think they were any good," Lucien mumbled, and Roman glared at him.

"The true point is to go on a date and watch a baseball game, but they have a chance at victory! Even bottom teams win sometimes."

The Blue Jays were also in the bottom, a fact Roman was well aware of, and Lucien sighed.

His eyes were drawn back to the diamond with a CRACK as the batter swung and hit the ball, sending it into the corner of right field.

"Oh, oh! Fair ball! FAIR BALL!!!" Roman shouted and cheered as the batter ran across first, then second, and finally slid into third plate just as the ball went sailing into the third baseman's glove.

"SAFE!"

Roman whooped and punched his hand into his shiny baseball glove.

"Come on boys, get a homerun. A homerun!"

"Yell a little louder and maybe they'll hear you," Lucien teased, settling into his seat and stealing a sip of Roman's drink.

"Oh Lucien, at least pretend to have fun," Roman muttered, eyes rolling as he focused on the game.

"I am," he defended. "I always have fun with you." When Roman didn't respond, Lucien turned back to the game.

The second batter stepped up to the plate and rolled his shoulders before setting up. After a moment the pitcher wound up and sent a nasty screwball straight into the catcher's glove. The batter didn't even twitch.

The second pitch was a fastball, and this time the batter swung. He just missed the ball as that too went flying into the catcher's mitt.

Roman had a hand over his mouth, rubbing his face as he shimmied to the edge of his seat. One more strike and the batter would be out.

Taking some time to loosen up, the batter kicked at some dirt on the plate and set up once more, the bat moving loosely in his grip. The pitcher wound up and unleashed a slider. The batter swung and missed as the ball suddenly dropped, once more into the catcher's mitt.

A collective groan could be heard in the stands, but Roman stayed focused on the game. The next batter made his way to home plate, a fresh trade from another team. Roman turned to Lucien and said, "This guy will do it. I know he will."

"You can predict the future now?"

"Laugh all you want, but I know we're winning this thing," Roman sniffed and turned back to the game. Lucien stared at him before looking back to the game himself, and watched a bad pitch almost miss the catcher entirely. A ball on the first pitch.

The second pitch was a fastball and the batter just got a piece of it, fouling it. Lucien looked around to make sure no one was watching and quickly drew his sigil for a luck spell. He then sat back and watched a curveball go past the batter as the umpire signalled for a second strike.

"Oh come on, come on..." Roman said through gritted teeth. Lucien almost laughed at the sight, not really understanding Roman's interest in this human sport but happy to go to games with him all the same. He refrained from laughing, however, wanting Roman to enjoy the experience.

The batter finally set up, planting his feet into the dirt and staring down the pitcher. With the ball in hand and having received the signal from the catcher, the pitcher finally wound up and threw a hard fastball. With the loudest CRACK of the game the ball hit the bat and went sailing into the air and over the field.

"Roman, get your glove ready! It looks like-"

"I GOT IT!!!" Roman yelled as he jumped up from his seat and caught the ball. He cheered and whooped and held up the ball in his glove as the announcers went wild.

"A two-run homerun and the Mariners take it 5-4 over the Blue Jays! What a spectacular finish!!!"

"Oh Lucien, I can't believe it! I knew they were going to win, of course, but to actually catch a ball from a homerun? A ball from the game-winning homerun!? It's a dream come true!"

"And what are the odds you would catch the homerun baseball after predicting a Mariners win?"

They were walking back to the cafe hand-in-hand and Roman briefly let go to once again examine the baseball, turning it over in his hands and running his fingers over the red lacing. It seemed to Lucien he had done that at least 15 times since leaving the stadium.

"I know you had something to do with it," Roman said.

"Perhaps, but I had nothing to do with that homerun. Your man came through."

"That he did! I told you he would."

"Was it the highlight of the game for you?" Lucien asked, and Roman nodded.

"Of the game? Yes, definitely the best part. The whole thing was fantastic, except the fourth inning, and we had such great seats, and the food! I always love trying out human food when we go out."

Roman was gushing about the sheer amount of food one could purchase at a sporting event, talking about the hot dogs covered in chili and cheese, the giant salty pretzels, and massive bags of popcorn. Lucien smiled to himself, watching Roman's already bright eyes sparkle as he talked and talked about everything he liked at the game.

"-And I know it's not your favourite thing to do, but going to games together truly is some of the best time I've spent with you, Lucien. Putting up with my extreme enthusiasm and the human food-"

They stopped abruptly just outside the café and Roman grabbed Lucien's hand, turning to face him.

"It means the world to me, and I will always be grateful for every day we spend together, every meal we eat together, just...everything. It is all so, so special to me, and I love you all the more for it."

Roman leaned forward and gave Lucien a soft kiss on the cheek, and Lucien turned his face to capture Roman's lips in a stronger kiss, chest tight with emotion at the sweet words Roman said just for him.

"You're special to me, too," Lucien murmured, keeping Roman close. "The most special person in my life. That won't change."

Roman's cheeks reddened as deep as his hair, only overshadowed by the brilliant smile on his face.

"You sweet-talker, you. Come on, I think there are some leftovers in the kitchen. Those peanuts aren't exactly filling." His smile turned into a devilish grin then, as he added, "Unless you'd prefer a different kind of-"

"Just get inside," Lucien grumbled, rolling his eyes at Roman's antics and the untimely shattering of the moment. Roman followed Lucien into the cafe, snickering all the while.

#lovestruck voltage #sweet enchantments #lucien rivercrest #roman tarrenglade #lovestruck fanfiction #lovestruck fic #my writing

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leiascully · 4 years

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Fic: Five Bets Eliot Lost (Mostly On Purpose) And One He Didn’t (Leverage, OT3, T)

4700/16500 words; T for swearing and references to sex; Eliot and Hardison finally go fishing; read on AO3

Part 1/5: Triple Chocolate Cookies Part 2/5: Three Garlic Pasta Part 3/5: Three Bean Chili

"You know what I was thinking?" Hardison said out of the blue one day when they were between jobs.

"Do I look like a mind reader?" Eliot asked, which gave him a little pang, because it was something his momma used to say.

"I was thinking we never did get to go fishing," Hardison said, ignoring him. "You know, our special little date you set up."

"It wasn't a date," Eliot growled. "It was a regular boys' trip."

"Yeah, you know those are all dates, right?" Hardison drawled.

Eliot frowned. "It's not a date when you eat at the bait shop."

"Oh, you weren't gonna take me to the bait shop," Hardison said. "No sir. We were gonna bring all those fish home and fry 'em up and that's what you were going to feed me. Not some kind of bait shop sandwich with plastic cheese on it, all full of salmonella and what have you."

"You don't know what you're missing," Eliot said, shaking his head. "Eating at the bait shop is an experience."

"It's not an experience I need to have," Hardison said.

"Well, too bad, I guess," Eliot told him, and grinned. "Because we're going fishing."

"That's good," Hardison said, "because I did get us these fishing licenses." He brandished two pieces of paper.

"You paid for 'em?" Eliot asked. Hardison nodded. "Huh. Figured you'd just hack the system or whatever."

"And have you take me on the kind of date where we get arrested?" Hardison demanded. It hit something inside Eliot every time Hardison insisted it was a date. He was going to do his damndest not to think about it, he decided. Hardison was still talking. "I'm not going down because some hat-wearing Game and Fish Commission dude needs to meet his quota for the month. Besides, you're paying for lunch and reels and worms or whatever. Seemed fair."

"That's how I know it's not a date," Eliot said, squinting sideways up at Hardison. "Because when I take someone on a date, they don't pay for anything. It's all taken care of." It was just banter, obviously. He wasn't flirting with Hardison. But they'd always gone back and forth, just normal stuff, because he'd never been able to resist messing with a guy with a brain as big as Hardison's.

"Yeah, yeah," Hardison said. "It's the twenty-first century, man. Everybody splits the check." He clapped Eliot on the shoulder. "Let's go fishing."

"Find us a spot," Eliot told him, and Hardison's eyes lit up a little.

They found a sweet little spot out by the river and set up the folding chairs and the rods Eliot had bought at the bait shop. He could have rented them, but maybe if they owned the damn things, he'd be able to talk Hardison into going fishing again. They rarely got the chance to spend time together, just the two of them. Eliot had spent pretty much his whole childhood hanging out down at the river with the boys. It was nice to feel like he could salvage some of that with Hardison.

"We are eating whatever is in those takeout boxes before I'm touching any worms," Hardison declared, and Eliot grinned at him.

"Prepare for an experience you'll never forget," he told Hardison, and brought out two styrofoam containers of fried fish, slaw, and hushpuppies. There was beer to wash it down, and a couple of homemade fried pies to top it off — none of it the best Eliot had ever had, but all of it good. Something about the fresh air and the sound of the rushing river gave it an extra flavor.

"All right," Hardison said when they were done and he'd licked the last of the peach filling from the pie off his fingers. "That wasn't the worst."

"I told you," Eliot said.

Hardison nodded. "You did. You really did."

"And now," Eliot said, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together, "we fish."

"That is what we're here for," Hardison said. "Although I'll be honest with you, I kind of always though 'going fishing' was just a euphemism."

"For drinking beer?" Eliot said. "I mean, you're not wrong. There's a lot of beer drinking."

Hardison shrugged. "That and other things."

"Uh huh," Eliot said. He wasn't going to pretend not to know what Hardison meant. He done a little bit of everything down by the river those last few summers at home, or at least experienced a little bit of everything.

"Just sayin'," Hardison said, holding up his hands.

"You thought I invited you down to the river to fool around, huh?" Eliot asked.

"I mean, not this time," Hardison said. "I invited you." He rubbed his hands together. "So are we going to fish or what?"

"We are definitely going to fish," Eliot said. "Just...fish."

"You're gonna have to show me," Hardison said, and Eliot grinned. They started at the beginning: threading the line through the supports on the rod, tying on a hook, adding the worms that Hardison was so disgusted by. Eliot could have gotten other bait, but it was funny to watch Hardison squirm.

"Now cast your hook out into the water," Eliot said.

"Okay," Hardison said, giving him one of those looks. "How do I do that?"

"Just" — Eliot mimed flicking the rod — "put it out there."

"Show me," Hardison said, and Eliot picked up his rod. "No, show me, like, move my arm. I'm not gonna learn by watching you. I'm one of those kinesthetic learners. I need to feel it."

"Uh, sure," Eliot said. "I'll just, uh...here, stand up." He stepped up behind Hardison and kind of put his arms around him a little. Hardison was taller than he was and Eliot's face was almost against the back of Hardison's shoulder. Hardison was wearing one of those waffle-looking shirts and he smelled like bergamot and some kind of woodsy deodorant. It worked on him. "It starts with the shoulder, that's where the power comes from." He patted Hardison's shoulder and then ran his hand down Hardison's arm. "It ends in the wrist. That's the finesse." He moved Hardison's arm back and forth. Goddamn, Hardison was strong. It wasn't exactly like he ever forgot that, since it was part of the calculations Eliot made for every job — if shit went south, he could rely on Hardison to get out, mostly — but he never really considered the physical reality of it either, unless they were both working out at the same time. But Hardison's arms were hard with muscle underneath the fabric of his shirt, and Eliot could feel the power in them as Hardison's arm pivoted smoothly with his guidance. "Like this."

"Uh huh," Hardison said in a serious voice. "I think I'm getting it. Just back and forth."

"Not just back and forth," Eliot said. He laid his arm out along the length of Hardison's and wrapped his fingers around Hardison's wrist. "It's all in the wrist, man. Just hold this down, pull back, and flick as you let go." Their arms moved together and Hardison's hook dropped neatly into the water. "Just like that."

"I might need help again later," Hardison said. "You know they say practice makes perfect."

"I'm here all day," Eliot said. "You want another beer? It might take a while to actually catch anything."

"Why the hell not," Hardison said. Eliot cracked open two more beers and Hardison clinked his can against Eliot's as they sat down. "To finally going fishing."

Eliot drank a healthy sip and slid his can into the cupholder built into the arm of his chair. He cast out into the river. It wasn't hard, but it did take practice to get the little flick just right. He'd gotten plenty of practice over the years — he'd been fishing since he was little, maybe five, first with his granddaddy and then his daddy and then his friends.

It wasn't like Hardison was wrong. He and his buddies had gone down to the river by themselves starting when they were twelve or so. They hadn't fooled around until they were in high school, when they'd go catch enough fish to come home with and then fill the rest of the hours with whatever they'd managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets and cigarette packs. What the hell else were a bunch of teenage boys going to do but get tipsy and go skinny dipping? Whatever else had happened had just happened. Just a bunch of boys taking a test drive before the real deal. The fact that it had still happened after some of them had gotten laid was just a matter of opportunity.

The military had been like that too, and then thieving, since then: Eliot and all his brothers-in-arms just trying to get by and have a little fun in their off-time. Keeping the world safe for democracy got lonely It wasn't gay to give another man a hand job. His own damn hand just got so boring after a while, and there hadn't been any women in his combat unit. Wrapping his fist around another man's cock had been a favor, nothing more, because the other guy had always done it for him too. And getting a blow job from another man wasn't gay either, because Eliot had never been the one blowing. It wasn't like he'd tangled his fingers in the guy's hair or kissed any of them afterward. Well, maybe a couple of them, but when they swallowed, it only seemed polite to thank them with a kiss and a hand job. It wasn't gay. It wasn't like there'd been tongue. Much.

Okay, it was bi-curious at most. He'd probably thought about women anyway.

"Bet you I catch more fish," Hardison said, startling Eliot out of his thoughts.

"No way in hell," Eliot told him. "You can't even cast by yourself yet."

"I had a good teacher," Hardison said. "You wait and see how many fish I catch."

"Fine," Eliot said. "Loser buys dinner."

"Loser cooks dinner," Hardison said. "Because you're going to be preparing all these delicious fish I catch."

"Only if you win, which you're not gonna," Eliot said. "And if you do, you're gonna learn to clean a fish."

"That sounds terrible," Hardison said cheerfully. "How about you do it and I pretend to watch?"

"You've gotta catch at least five more fish than I do if you want to get out of cleaning duty," Eliot said.

"Done," Hardison said. He pointed at Eliot. "No backsies."

"What are you, a child?" Eliot asked.

"I am a fully grown adult man," Hardison said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Wanted in at least sixteen countries, and that doesn't even count the warrants."

"Hah," Eliot said. "I get it." He raised his beer to Hardison. Hardison grinned. Eliot felt a nibble on his line and ignored it. He didn't want to lose, but on the other hand, he wanted to see what would happen if Hardison won. The last time, he'd somehow ended up on their date, and it had been weird as hell, but also nice somehow. Eliot hadn't had any shortage of quote-unquote friends, but he hadn't been on a date in longer than he could remember. And he hadn't really felt like the third wheel, unless it was the third wheel of a tricycle. He'd felt like they wanted him there. Like it wouldn't have been the same without him. And now Hardison had basically insisted that this was kind of a date, whatever that meant.

Eliot had no fucking clue what the fuck was happening, if he was honest with himself.

"I feel something," Hardison said, sitting up and alert in his chair.

"All right, jerk your wrist back to set the hook," Eliot told him. "Still feel it?"

"Yeah," Hardison said, focusing in on the rod and the water in a way that gave Eliot a little tingle someplace he couldn't describe. Watching Hardison work really was something else.

"Keep the line taut," Eliot said. "Just reel it in slowly. If it fights, you tip the rod to give it a little room. Don't let the line out too far or the hook might slip and you'll lose it." He put his hand on Hardison's shoulder. The man had biceps, that was for sure. "Easy does it. Easy."

"This is as easy as I get," Hardison said, cranking the reel.

"You got this," Eliot told him.

There were a few tricky moments, but at the end of it, Hardison was triumphantly holding up a pretty little bass. Eliot freed it from the hook and dropped it in a bucket of water.

"That's one," Hardison said, holding up one finger. "And how many do you have? None?"

Eliot pretended to look around and turned to flip Hardison off. "Hey, man. Look at that. I got one too."

"Ha ha," Hardison said sarcastically.

They didn't catch a damn thing the whole rest of the afternoon. Eliot could have — he felt the fish nibbling, but he'd either let them go or yank at just the wrong moment or let too much line out. Hardison just didn't have the technique down. Eliot helped him cast a couple more times, but nothing seemed to want to take Hardison's bait.

They both looked at the one fish in the bucket and then at each other.

"How's chili sound for dinner?" Eliot asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Hardison said. "I could go for some chili. Maybe some cornbread."

"Don't push your luck," Eliot said, though he'd already been thinking about it himself.

"All right, all right," Hardison said. "I can eat my chili with Fritos like a regular person if you're not gonna put out."

Eliot tipped out the bucket into the river and the fish swam away. "No one in the history of food has ever used the phrase 'put out' in conjunction with the idea of cornbread, except to to say 'put out the cornbread on the table'."

"I'm an innovator," Hardison said. "Cutting edge."

"Just help me carry all this shit to the truck," Eliot told him, rolling his eyes and dumping the ice from the cooler out onto the edge of the river. They'd finished the beer a couple of hours ago, at least. The rods and the cooler and the chairs all went in the back of his truck and he and Hardison piled back in and drove back to the Bridgeport.

"Can't believe you didn't catch anything." Hardison said. "Fish in Oklahoma must just be easy, huh?"

"Guess so," Eliot said. "I sure caught more than my share back home." He smirked.

"I can imagine," Hardison said, and suddenly that was all Eliot was thinking about: Hardison thinking about the things Eliot had done down by the river. "Good clean wholesome country fun, no doubt."

"Nothing cleaner than skinny dipping," Eliot said, glancing at Hardison and then back at the road. He could at least have a little say in what Hardison was imagining. If that happened to be Eliot buck naked and golden from the summer sun, so be it. He glanced at Hardison again and caught just the curve of Hardison's smile as Hardison licked his lips. Eliot felt a shock spark through him like static.

What the fuck was he doing? Flirting with his teammate? With his other teammate's boyfriend? This wasn't a "what happens down at the river stays down at the river" situation. Parker and Hardison were pretty much all he had these days by way of friends he saw regularly. He couldn't mess with that. But Hardison was still smiling and seemed perfectly comfortable.

"Hey, babe," Parker said when they came in. She was studying something on a laptop. She turned in her seat to kiss Hardison. Eliot felt that spark again and remembered his dreams. He looked away. She sure as hell hadn't offered him a kiss. Maybe he was imagining this whole thing. Maybe they hadn't ever been flirting with him and he'd messed up all their date night plans that last time with the pasta.

"Hell yeah, I did," Hardison told her. "More than Eliot too, which means he's making dinner again."

"Nice," Parker said. "For everybody?"

Hardison shrugged. "I assume Nate and Sophie are out for the night, since nobody's called me to demand I work technological miracles on short notice."

"Fine with me." Parker hopped off her chair. "What's for dinner?"

"Chili," Eliot said. "And before you ask, no, it doesn't pair well with tiramisu."

"No more late-night tiramisu," Hardison said, putting his arms around Parker with an indulgent air. "You were bouncing off the walls for hours."

"You liked it," Parker told him, and her grin told Eliot everything he needed to know and more about exactly how much Hardison had liked it.

"I didn't say I didn't benefit from it," Hardison allowed, "but sometimes I need my sleep, baby. There's only so much one man can do."

"All right, all right," Eliot groused. It was too bad two men wasn't an option. Between them, surely they could tire out even a sugared-up and caffeinated Parker.

"Ice cream," Parker decided. "Yeah, definitely ice cream." She flashed them a smile. "I'll be back."

"I'm gonna watch the master work," Hardison said to Parker, following Eliot into the kitchen. "Don't forget there's only so much room in the freezer."

"Yeah, yeah," she said. "If we eat it, that's not a problem."

"She's got a point," Eliot said. He washed his hands and flung a towel over his shoulder.

"First I learned to fish," Hardison said. "Now I'm going to learn to cook."

"Maybe you'll be better at cooking than you were at fishing," Eliot teased.

Hardison snorted. "Says the man who didn't catch even a minnow today."

"I was off my game," Eliot said.

"Missing your old fishing buddies, huh," Hardison said, leaning on the counter.

"Something like that." Eliot dug in the cabinets for one of his big dutch ovens, the cast iron ones. "If you want to cook chili, you start out with a big old pot."

"Looks like you could do reps with that one," Hardison said, miming bicep curls.

"Just about," Eliot said. He set it on the stove and pulled out the cutting board and an onion. "Mince your onion up. I like it in little pieces so it gets all melty. Some people like big chunks of onion, but that's their business." He minced a few cloves of garlic alongside it and turned on the heat under the pan. "Heat first. That's important. When the pan gets hot, then we add the oil, then we wait for that to heat up."

"I'm taking notes in my mind," Hardison said, tapping his temple. "Heat. Oil. Onions. Got it."

Eliot went to the fridge. He'd been meaning to make chili anyway — he had a packet of mixed ground pork and beef from the butcher, which meant either chili or burgers in his world. He pulled that out and grabbed a couple of bell peppers while he was at it. Hardison watched him lay everything out on the counter. Eliot held his hand over the metal bottom of the pot. Hot enough, he thought. He added some oil and watched it run along the perfect unstained enamel. One of these days, maybe he'd be in one place long enough to break his cookware in. His momma's chili pot had had a chip out of the top and it never looked completely clean inside. Too many Sunday dinners and weeknight soups. He shook his head and cut the tops off his bell peppers. The oil in the pot was shimmering. He scraped in the onions and garlic and let them sizzle. The scent of them immediately filled the kitchen.

"First the noise," he told Hardison. "Then you stir." He started dicing the bell peppers, peered over at the onions, and handed Hardison the big wooden spoon. "Stir."

"You get bossy in the kitchen, don't you?" Hardison asked, but he came around the counter and stood next to Eliot.

"I'm bossy everywhere," Eliot told him. "And it's saved your life more than once."

"I didn't say I didn't like it," Hardison said, poking the onions with the spoon. Eliot threw some salt in on top of them.

"I said stir 'em, not move 'em around one at a time," he teased.

"I had a lot of wrist action earlier," Hardison protested. "Go easy on me."

"Don't tell me you need me to teach you how to stir," Eliot said. "Smartest man I know. You can figure it out." He pulled a beer out of the fridge.

"Didn't get enough earlier?" Hardison joked.

"It's for the chili," Eliot told him. He peered around Hardison at the onions. "Stir 'em around again." Hardison scraped the spoon through the onions obediently. They were translucent enough, Eliot decided, and added the peppers to the pot.

"Keep stirring?" Hardison asked.

"You got it," Eliot said. He unstuck the paper around the packet of meat and unwrapped it.

"Mm," Hardison said unconvincingly, looking at the bloody rectangle.

"This is the good stuff," Eliot said. He dumped it into the pot. "Chop it up with the spoon as it turns brown." He mimed the action and Hardison mimicked him, separating the meat into chunks.

"Big or little pieces?" Hardison asked.

"Depends on what you like," Eliot said. "Smaller's easier to eat. Picks up the flavor better. Bigger keeps more of the meat taste and feels different in your mouth." He tossed in more salt on top of the meat, added chili powder and black pepper and oregano.

"Is that cocoa powder?" Hardison asked.

"Just a little," Eliot said, measuring it out on a teaspoon. "Gives it a little depth. That's what the beer's for too."

"And here I thought you were just rude," Hardison murmured.

"That too," Eliot said. He added cumin to the pot, hesitated, and then threw in a little more. Hardison sniffed appreciatively.

"This smells good, man," he told Eliot.

"Thanks," Eliot said.

"You use a recipe?" Hardison asked.

"Nah," Eliot said. "Just know what it's supposed to be like." He collected a can of tomatoes and three different kinds of beans from the pantry. If he was going to keep losing bets, he was going to keep making three-of-a-kind recipes and see if they ever even noticed. Black beans, pinto beans, and kidney beans made a hell of a chili anyway.

"Meat looks...brown," Hardison said.

"Good," Eliot said. He cracked open the beer and poured most of it into the pan, where it bubbled and steamed up in a cloud that made Hardison cough. Eliot laughed and took a swig of what was left. He offered the last swallow to Hardison. Hardison took it without hesitation. Eliot couldn't stop looking at the way Hardison's lips pressed against the mouth of the bottle, right where Eliot's had been. Hardison drained the dregs and set the bottle on the counter, his eyes on Eliot's. Eliot shivered. There'd been looks like that down by the river, those summers in high school: lazy, certain stares full of breathless heat. He didn't know anymore if he was imagining things.

He'd tried not to get in the way. They just kept including him. Maybe it was inevitable that he was having these kinds of thoughts about it. It had been a long damn time since anybody had made him feel as needed as the two of them did, or as wanted, or as welcome. Of course he had feelings about them now. Of course he dreamed about them.

"Eliot," Hardison said softly. "Earth to Eliot."

"Yeah," Eliot said, shaking it off. "Let the liquid cook off a little." He grabbed the can opener and opened the cans. He dumped the beans into a colander, all three cans, and rinsed them off.

"Three bean chili, huh?" Hardison said. "When one or two beans just won't do."

"Adds texture," Eliot said. Hardison didn't know enough about food to contradict him, and anyway, it was sort of true. He grabbed a spoon and tasted it. "It ain't Texas chili, but it'll do."

"Now what?" Hardison asked.

"Now we turn the heat down and let it simmer," Eliot told him. "And I guess we make cornbread, if you still want it."

"Hell yeah, I do," Hardison said.

"Then turn on the oven," Eliot said, "and throw that cast iron skillet in there."

"This one?" Hardison held it up.

"That's the one," Eliot told him, already measuring everything into a bowl. Cornbread came together fast. When the batter was all mixed together, he pulled out the hot skillet, melted some butter in it, and poured in the batter. It hissed and spat a little. He pushed it back into the oven.

"Kinda thought Parker would be back by now," he said.

Hardison shrugged. "You know Parker and sugar. She might be back in five minutes. Might be two hours."

"This'll take about half an hour," Eliot said.

"How will we pass the time," Hardison said, lounging against the counter.

"Not fishing, I'm guessing," Eliot said. He leaned on the counter next to Hardison. "Not unless you've still got that game."

"I do, but now that I know what the real thing is like, I don't know if I can go back," Hardison said. He smiled over at Eliot, slow and sweet. "All that fresh air, you know?"

"I'm back!" Parker said. She was carrying a tote bag that looked like it definitely contained more ice cream than three adults could or should eat. "I couldn't pick a flavor, so I just got all of them."

"Attagirl," Eliot said, pushing himself off the counter. "Go big."

"And then come home," Hardison said, pulling Parker close. He took the ice cream bag from her and looked through it. "Wow. You really did get everything."

"I told you so," Parker said. "Is it dinner yet?"

"Almost," Eliot said. "Just waiting on the cornbread."

"Yum," Parker said.

"I helped cook," Hardison said.

"He did," Eliot confirmed. "He's a good little sous chef. Stirs and everything."

"Sounds like you're a great team," Parker said, looking between them and smiling. "I like teamwork."

"Me too," Hardison said. He grinned at her and raised one eyebrow.

Eliot tried really damn hard not to read anything into that.

Dinner didn't feel like a date this time, but it did feel like family. They watched <i>Top Gun</i> afterwards, because apparently that was what they did now: dinner and a movie. Parker gave up on any pretense and swung her legs over Eliot's lap almost the minute he sat down. She put her head in Hardison's lap and Hardison stroked her hair. Neither of them said anything or even seemed to notice anything was strange. Eliot sighed to himself and rested his hand on her shin. It wasn't like she'd never touched him before. She'd flung her arm around his shoulder or jumped into his arms or poked at him a hundred times over the years. It just felt different now.

Nothing about his life was remotely like what he'd imagined when he'd been in high school. But it was all right. He had a damn good life.

"Pass me that fruity one," Parker said, sitting up so that she was leaning against Hardison, and Eliot handed her a gooey pint of ice cream. She dug her spoon into the container and grinned at him. He thought very briefly about how sweet she'd taste if he kissed her.

"Share," Hardison told her, and Parker held the spoon to his mouth, and Eliot thought about kissing him too. He picked up one of the other pints of ice cream and occupied his mouth and his mind with other sensations, real ones, cold and the bitter bite of chocolate and the smooth feeling of butterfat. It helped crowd the fantasies out of his head, at least for a little while.

It could have been worse. He could have fallen for Sophie.

#leverage fic #leverage ot3 #parker x hardison x eliot #parker/hardison/eliot #my fic #team leverage ot3 #leverage ot3 fic #leverage

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kiddoryder · 5 years

Text

Bond for Trouble

For @jeremenchi and I wanna thank @anitoonzforever for helping me. Hope you enjoy!

Right after the party and fighting stopped, Benson ordered chad & Jeremy to come back while Mordecai and Rigby stayed behind. Right now they were in Benson’s office and let’s just say he wasn’t happy.

Benson - *angry* “You guys are in so much trouble! Do you have any idea how much damage you cost the park?!”

Rigby - *defensive* “Hey! We only did it to protect our jobs.”

Mordecai - “Yeah Benson. You basically wanted to fire us without telling us.”

Benson - “Well if you guys didn't slack off so much, I wouldn't have to do this!!”

Rigby - “We were gonna clean it up!”

Chad: *scoffs* “Yeah right! You can't even clean the boats without messing things up!!”

Rigby - “Stay out of this, you tool!”

Mordecai - *mad* “Yeah you try to steal our jobs!”

Jeremy: We did not! You tried to ruin our jobs!!

Rigby - “Well you guys are stuck up jerks!”

Chad - “Well you two are no good loafers!!”

Benson: *furious* “SHUT UP!!!”

The four silence themselves and see Benson turning red with anger. This scared all four of them into being quiet.

Rigby - *whispers* “Uh should we run?”

Mordecai: *whispers* “No dude.”

Jeremy - *scared and nervous* “Uhh you ok?”

Benson - *livid* “DO I LOOK OKAY!?!?!?!”

Mordecai - “We're dead, aren't we?”

Rigby - “Yep. You know what to do for my funeral.”

Benson - “I'm so angry I want to rip your limb from limb before firing all of you!!”

They all flinched in fear. But then Benson started to calm down and taking deep breath.

Benson: *takes a deep breath* “But I won't. Instead, I'm gonna do something else to make you four learn a little something about working together.”

Mordecai - “Really? What is it?”

Benson - “Stick out your hands.”

Rigby - “Why?”

Benson - “Just do it or your fired!”

Rigby - *annoyed* “Alright Alright!”

They all stuck out their hands and they all looked confused.

Mordecai - “Now what dude?”

All of a sudden, Benson used special cuffs to shackle them together. He shackled Jeremy and Mordecai together and then did the same to Rigby and Chad. It led the four to them to be shocked and confusing.

Mordecai - “Dude! What the H did you do?!”

Rigby - “Are you taking us to jail?!”

Benson - “No, I'm chaining you guys together until

You learn to get along and not fight. It an old park working exercise.”

Mordecai - “Dude! Benson! This is not cool at all.”

Chad - “Yeah! You can't do this to us!”

Benson - “It's either this or you're all fired!!”

Jeremy - “Ugh this suck!”

Benson - “That's too bad because those are not coming off until you all get along. So there.”

He led the four dudes out of his office. They all began to walk out of the house leaving the others to glare at each other.

Rigby - “This is all you guys fault!”

Chad - “Shut up you jerk! It's your fault too.”

Mordecai - “Don't you blame us for this! We didn't even want to fight! You guys started it!”

Jeremy - “We were just doing our jobs!”

Rigby - *scoffs* “More like stealing our jobs!”

Chad - “We don't steal anything!”

Mordecai - “How long are we chained for anyway?”

Jeremy - “Who knows?”

Rigby - “What are we gonna do now?”

Chad - “Guess we're stuck together until Benson takes these stupid chains off.”

Mordecai: *sarcastic* “Oh joy....”

Jeremy - “Yeah no kidding...I'm starting to get hungry.”

Rigby - “Me too. How about Fry It Up?”

Chad - *disgusted* “No way! That place is a grease trap.”

Rigby - *annoyed* “No you're a Grease trap!”

Mordecai - “Let's just go to the coffee shop.”

Jeremy - “Fine.”

Rigby and Chad only scoff at each other as they head to the coffee shop. They made it to the coffee shop and Jeremy look around. Jeremy has a mildly displease look on his face.

Jeremy - “Hmmm look a bit tacky.”

Mordecai: *smug* “Your glasses look tacky…”

Jeremy - *mad* “I heard that!”

Margaret - “Hey Guys!”

They saw Margaret and Eileen coming over to their table.

Mordecai - “Oh hey Margaret.”

Eileen - “Hi Rigby! *sees the chains* Uh why are you guys shackled together?”

Rigby - “It's a long story.”

Mordecai - “A really long story”

Margaret - “Okay...so what'll it be, guys?”

Mordecai - “Some soda and a sandwich please.”

Jeremy - “Same for me.”

Mordecai - “You eat that for lunch too?”

Jeremy - “Of course I do. It's my favorite since I was a kid.”

Mordecai - “Nice! Mine too”

Chad: *to Rigby* “What about you?”

Rigby - “I like sloppy joes.”

Chad - “You too?”

Rigby - “Yeah! With chili cheese fries.”

Chad - *disgusted* “Ugh! I hate chili cheese fries.”

Rigby - *offended* “What's wrong with it?!”

Chad - “It's just too much stuff on fries alone. Personally I like onion rings.”

Rigby - “Witch ketchup?”

Chad - “Spicy ketchup.”

Rigby - *disgusted* “Gross.”

Chad - *mad* “Like your face!”

Rigby - “Your face is gross!”

Mordecai - *annoyed* “Will you guys stop!?”

Jeremy - *annoyed* “Yeah! You're acting like kids!”

Both - *pointed to each other* “He started it!”

Mordecai - “Ugh this chain thing is a bad idea.”

After bringing them their food, Margaret and Eileen the argument that was happening. Wanting them to get along, Margaret and Eileen started to get an idea and walk up to them.

Margaret - “We know something that can help.”

Mordecai - “Really? Like what?”

Eileen - “Maybe you guys can go play video games?”

Rigby - “We would if Muscle Man didn't break our system again!”

Margaret - “Why don't you go camping? I heard that can help two people bonds. I mean, you guys took me before and it was fun.”

Mordecai - “Well okay. It never hurts to go camping. I mean we did go a bunch of time and it was fun.”

Rigby: *mutters* “Except the past two times we got killed.” *Mordecai slugs Rigby’s arm* Owww!!!”

Chad - “Dude watch it! You almost hit my face!”

Rigby - “Well you should have moved your face!”

Chad and Rigby started to argue and push each other. Then Jeremy said:

Jeremy - *annoyed* “Guys enough! Let's just get this camping over with.”

Mordecai - “Yeah. I mean the faster we do it the faster the chain can come off.”

Rigby -“And you guys go away forever.”

Chad and Jeremy - “Agreed!”

()()()()()()()()

After finishing their meals, Mordecai, Rigby, Chad and Jeremy went to the house to pack some things for a camping trip. Then when they were finishing packing up, they took the cart to the campsite. After getting, they were now to the forest in their secret spot and Mordecai asked Jeremy:

Mordecai - “Have you guys ever been camping?”

Jeremy - “Yeah. When we were little.”

Chad - “He and I went on camping trips with our families as kids.”

Mordecai - *amazed* “Whoa! You guys are childhood friends just like me and Rigby.”

Chad - “Wait you guys were friends as kids?”

Rigby - “Yeah. Well technically we knew each other since we were babies.”

Mordecai - *chuckled* “Yeah. We have been inseparable ever since.”

Jeremy - “So have me and Chad.”

Then they all began to set up camp. Rigby was just taking random stuff out at the bag. Then he noticed Chad taking out the matches.

Rigby - “Give me the matches!”

Chad - *annoyed* “We gotta make the tent first!”

Rigby - “I thought you make the fire first!”

Chad - “That not until when it gets dark!”

Rigby - “But how are we gonna cook food genius!”

Chad - “Tent first, fire later!”

As the two were arguing, Jeremy and Mordecai were gathering firewood. They noticed their two best friends fighting and Jeremy said:

Jeremy: *whispers* “How do you put up with that?”

Mordecai - *head shaking* “You have no idea.”

Jeremy - “Chad can be a bit stubborn.”

Mordecai - “So have Rigby.”

Jeremy - “Guess we both deal with the same thing.”

Mordecai - “No kidding.”

They began to put the firewood on the ground.

Mordecai - “Hey, why don't we get some fresh water?”

Jeremy - “You know how to get fresh water?”

Mordecai - “Sure I do. My friend, Skips, taught me.”

Mordecai lead Jeremy the way to the lake that would have to drink. Then he started to put them in water bottles so they can save for later. Jeremy looked impressed and amazed and said:

Jeremy - “Oh I know how to do that too.”

Mordecai - “Really? let me guess: You learned in school?”

Jeremy - “Actually no. My uncle Ted taught me when I was 7.”

Mordecai - “Really?”

Jeremy - “Yeah. We were really close.”

Mordecai - *amazed* “That's cool! I am close with my uncle Steve too.”

Jeremy - “Really? What'd y'all do?”

Mordecai - *shrugged* “Just hang out, bowling, camping, etc.”

Jeremy - “Must be nice you have an uncle who's still around.”

Mordecai - “What do you mean?”

Jeremy - “Oh nothing, no big deal.”

Mordecai - “No dude, you can tell me. I know we don't know each other very well and got into some trouble, but you can tell me if you want.”

Jeremy - “Well okay. *sighs sadly* My uncle Ted died when I was ten...cancer took his life.”

Mordecai - *sadly* “Oh dude I'm so sorry...

Jeremy - “It's fine...I mean it's nature stuff, right?”

Mordecai - “I guess... I know it's hard but talking about it might make you feel better. It worked on some of my friends.”

Jeremy - “Yeah...That's true cause I haven't talked about him in a while.”

Mordecai - “Well you can now.”

They sit by the stream and was looking about it. Something about looking at stream made Mordecai and Jeremy feel at peace and calm. However, Mordecai didn’t want things to be awkward, so he said:

Mordecai - “So...What was he like?”

Jeremy - *smiled and sighed* “He was a really amazing guy. He actually inspires me to go to college since he noticed how much I love technology and how good I am with it. He inspired me to get a good education and become the best I can be. He wasn't just an uncle...he was another best friend.”

Mordecai - “Sound like he was a really cool Uncle.”

Jeremy - “He was....until when I was 9 when he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He only lasted a year before he....passed on.”

Mordecai - *sympathetic* “I'm so sorry Jeremy.”

Jeremy felt the tears welling up, but he shakes it off. He never felt comfortable crying in front of people. Especially in front of people he doesn’t know that well.

Jeremy - *sighs* “Thanks. It's been so hard on me. In fact...today was the day of his death.”

Mordecai - “Oh dude…”

Jeremy - “Yeah...I thought doing stuff help me get my mind off it. That's why I got so angry with you and your friend. I guess when things went wrong today, I just kinda lost it. I'm....sorry.”

Mordecai - *sighs* “I'm sorry too. We just didn't want to lose our jobs because we need it.”

Jeremy - “Why didn't you just tell us? We couldn't talk to your boss or something.”

Mordecai - “I don't know. I guess we were just paranoid and stuff.”

Jeremy - “Well in retrospect, I guess he did want to replace you guys. But he told us how lazy you were and didn't care about your jobs.”

Mordecai - “No No. I mean we do care about our jobs, but sometimes he can be strict on us. One time he made us mow the lawn again because it was “an inch too tall”.”

Jeremy - “You serious?”

Mordecai - “Oh yeah. He even made us ride bikes instead of the parks cart and said we were acting like kids.”

Jeremy - “That is kind of rough.”

Jeremy started to feel bad for Mordecai and Rigby. Turn out being a groundskeeper is a tough job after all. Jeremy feel like deep down; he doesn’t really blame Mordecai and Rigby for slacking off. If he and Chad ever had a boss like Benson, they would have slack off too because they can’t stand really strict bosses.

Mordecai - “Tell me about it. And that coming from a dude who eats chicken wings all the time.”

Jeremy - *surprised* “Whoa really?”

Mordecai - “Oh totally! He acts drunk when he eats too much of them.”

Jeremy - *chuckled* That's kind of funny

Mordecai: *chuckles* Yeah. So how about we start over? *offers a hand* Wanna be friends?”

As much as he hated being chained, this actually help Jeremy realize that Mordecai isn’t a bad dude at all. He’s actually a really nice guy and somebody he can talk to. Sure, he’s best friends with Chad but feel like Mordecai is the perfect person to talk to with deep feelings like about his Uncle’s death. Jeremy decided to give Mordecai a second chance and start over.

Jeremy - *smiled* “Yeah I like that.”

They shake hands but then they heard thunder sound. They looked up and saw how the clouds got dark and it began to rain. The rain was starting to get hard.

Mordecai - “Aw dude we better head back!”

They began to walk back to the campsite but was trying to do it fast yet, at a steady pace due to still being chained up. However, it was raining hard to the point where the dirt and the rocks started becoming muddy and slippery. It causes Mordecai trip and fell on the ground.

Mordecai - “Ow!” *held his ankle in pain*

Jeremy - *concerned* “Dude What's wrong?”

Mordecai - “My ankle! I sprained it.”

Jeremy knelt down and looks at Mordecai’s ankle. Mordecai was right: it was indeed sprained, and it look swollen. However, Jeremy knew what to do.

Jeremy - “Hold still a second.”

He rips part of the sleeve of his hoodie and wraps it around Mordecai’s ankle carefully. Then he helps Mordecai to his feet and held on to his arm.

Jeremy - “Hang on.”

Mordecai - *confused* “What are you doing?”

Jeremy - “Trust me, I know what to do Just keep your leg elevated and hold on to me.”

Mordecai - “Alright!”

Mordecai did what Jeremy told him to do. Then they made it to Chad and Rigby who was putting the stuff away into the car due to the rain. Then they saw their friends coming toward them.

Jeremy - “Guys! We need to take Mordecai to the hospital. He hurt his ankle.”

Rigby - *concerned* “What?! *to Mordecai* Dude You Okay?”

Mordecai - *wincing* “Kind of. It just really hurts.”

Chad - “Let’s go!”

Jeremy - “We gotta hurry because the rain gets worse!”

Chad - “I'll drive!”

Rigby - *mad* “Why you!”

All - “RIGBY!!!”

Rigby - “Alright Fine! Let’s just go!”

They began to drive off to the Hospital. When they made it to the building, Jeremy help Mordecai walk inside the Hospital. Then they walk up to the front desk clerk.

Jeremy - “We need a Doctor. My friend hurt his ankle.”

Clerk - “ Alright but I can't do anything if you two are shackled up.”

Rigby - “We don't have the key.”

Benson - “But I do!”

They turned around and saw Benson behind him with a sprained wrist. The sprained wrist was wrapped in gauze bandage.

Mordecai - *confused and concerned* “Whoa Benson what happened to you?”

Benson - *sight and sound annoyed* “Muscle Man got into a fight with the guy from the hot dog truck again and I had to help break it up. Anyway, I can see that you two finally managed to work together.

Mordecai - “Yeah. Can you please free us? My ankle really starting to hurt.”

Benson - *holds the key* “Sure thing.”

Benson walked over to them and unlocks Mordecai and Jeremy's chain wrists. They were now free from their chains much to their happiness.

Jeremy - “Thanks.”

Rigby - “What about me and Chad?”

Benson - *shook his head* “Nope. I can tell that you and Chad still need more work.”

Chad & Rigby - *shocked* “What?!”

Benson - “It's clear to me that you too still didn't learn your lesson.”

Rigby - *mad* “Aw what?!”

Chad - *mad* “This isn't fair!”

Benson - “Life ain't fair!”

Mordecai is escorted by Jeremy and the Doctor while Benson were scolding their friends.

Mordecai - “Thanks pal.”

Jeremy - “No problem man.”

Jeremy helped Mordecai sit on the bed and the doctor examined his ankle. Then the doctor said:

Doctor - “Not to worry. Just a sprained ankle should heal up in a few days.”

Mordecai - “Thanks Doctor.”

Doctor: *smiles* “You should really be thanking your friend. Some quick thinking to prevent any infection or more damage to your ankle.”

Jeremy - “Yeah I learn that when I was younger.”

Doctor: *puts a hand on his shoulder* “Well whoever taught you should be proud.”

Jeremy gave a sad smile before the doctor walked out of the room for a few minutes. Mordecai noticed it and said:

Mordecai - “...Your uncle Ted taught you, didn't he?

Jeremy - *nods* “He taught me a lot of frost aid skills when we went camping together. He even taught me what to do if I was bitten by a snake.”

Mordecai - *amazed* “Whoa.”

Jeremy: “Yeah. Hey, if you want, I can teach you that too.”

Mordecai - “Really?”

Jeremy - “Yeah it's pretty simple.”

Mordecai - *smiles* “I think I like that.”

Then the doctor came back holding some crutches and gauze bandages.

Doctor - “I'm back now let's wrapped up your ankle.”

The doctor gently wrapped Mordecai's ankle in the bandage. Then he was finished and said:

Doctor - “Now for the week you need to rest it and give it some ice pack so the swelling can go down. The crutches can help you walk too.”

Mordecai - *nodding* “Will do.”

Jeremy - “Come on. I'll drive you home.”

Mordecai - “Thanks dude.”

Jeremy - “You need help?”

Mordecai - “No it's okay I got it.”

Jeremy - “Alright.”

Jeremy kept an eye on Mordecai who was doing okay with using the crutches. They head to the lobby to see Rigby and Chad still arguing over something stupid.

Chad - “This is all your fault!”

Rigby - No it's yours!”

Mordecai - *annoyed* “Guys enough!!”

Jeremy - Yeah, you're acting like babies

Chad & Rigby - “We are not!”

Mordecai - “Dudes chill! Let's just go to the house and I'll order us some pizzas. Everybody loves pizza.”

Jeremy - “That's cool of you. Thanks!”

Mordecai - “Hey, it's the least I can do since you help me out.”

Rigby - *calming down* “I guess pizza will be fine.”

Chad - *calming down as well* “Yeah it sounds good.”

Jeremy - “Then let's go.”

They head back to the house and got to hang out and get to know each other better even more. But it still took a couple days for Rigby and Chad to get along and finally get the cuffs off but now all four of them are good friends. They all learned that if they get to know each other a little more instead of judging, they would actually be great friends.

#Regular Show #drabble

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notrodolphus · 6 years

Note

Mary/Rab/Amos do it u coward

*sounds of distant thunder rumbling except oh wait that’s not thunder it’s just thEM SMOOCHING*

“We’re just three people who have no idea what real relationships look like but we like each other and are open” era:

does the cooking - Amos ends up taking the responsibility of this one. Mary will help out sometimes, but more often than not she and Rab are banned from the kitchen because Amos hates it when they try to pick bits and pieces of the meal apart before it’s even on the table.

is more protective - It’s a very very close margin, but Rab takes the cake because “whAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY MUGGLEBORN GIRL AND HALFBLOOD BOY?!?!”

is better with kids - Mary. Mary is all-around fun, understanding, and tries her best to make sure they’re not just eating candy.

wakes up first in the morning - Rab or Mary, depending on who has the worst nightmare Usually Mary, since she at least tries to stick with her morning runs. It’s a 50/50 on whether she’ll come back to the boys still in deep sleepy cuddles, or bickering because Rab stole the covers and almost kicked Amos off the bed again.

controls the TV/radio/remote - Mary.

sings in the shower - It eventually has to be an established rule that there should be no singing in the shower at all, because once someone starts it’s not long before the other two try to cram themselves in to join in and it’s a safety hazard. But nobody ever follows the rule. Nobody ever wants to follow the rule. Their three-part harmonies are amazing.

is responsible for trapping/killing the spiders - The first time a spider has the unfortunate chance of running in to all three of them, it lands on Rab’s shoe and Amos has to squish it while Mary calms the other boy down. It’s the first time Rab kisses Amos not during sexy times, so it becomes Amos’ job.

always falls asleep on the couch - They’re often all found passed out on a couch during parties, and nobody’s sure how they all fit but it’s very clear that they’ve got their assigned cuddle arrangements.

takes care of the other when they’re sick - Amos, the brave brave soul, lets his Hufflepuff glory shine whenever Mary or Rab get sick. But it does become an important rule for no kissing allowed when one of the boys starts feeling sick, after the one time Rab gave Amos his fever and poor Mary was left with two hopeless drama kings refusing to leave her dorm room.

sets the house on fire - All three of them, and it took a good while for them to want to try candle play again.

is horrible at budgeting - Rabastan, and Mary and Amos try to have a talk with him about “you don’t have to get the penthouse suite every single time you get a hotel room for us” but come on. They all enjoy the Jacuzzi that fits all three of them.

brings home stray pets - Mary and Rab, and Amos hates it.

would cook the better romantic dinner - Amos cooks the dinner, Mary sets the ambiance, and Rab makes sure they’re both getting kissies while they’re busy.

starts the holiday decorating - Rab and Amos ask Mary what her family does for holidays and try to get things set up, and they don’t always get things right but her boys are trying.

eats the others uneaten pizza crusts - Amos eats the crusts, Mary picks random toppings off both their plates, and Rab steals all the pineapples.

watches jeopardy and calls out the answers - All of them and it gets heated.

clings to the other during scary movies - So the couch setup is this: Amos and Rab on each side, Mary in the middle with her head on one’s lap and legs propped up against the other. Rab and Mary both cling to Amos.

surprises the other in the shower - It’s never a surprise so much as “you’ve been in here for fifteen minutes and I need to get ready for class too”/”hey, guys! Saw you both wandering in here, just gonna scooch in and grab some shampoo.”

initiates hand holding while the other is driving - Mary drives, Rab is clinging to Amos in the backseat.

asks weird questions in the middle of the night - they all do this, but nighttime is also usually reserved for blissed out pillowtalks about what they would do if this situation ever came up, or how to be more open with each other, or “hey, was it okay that I did that? Can I try doing this next time?”.

“Hi, I’m Cedric Diggory-MacDonald. My dad was a Hufflepuff, my mom was a Gryffindor, and my pop was in Slytherin. And I’m gonna change the world.” era:

does the cooking - They all get decent with cooking, because Cedric Diggory is a growing boy who needs three healthy square meals a day. Amos is the best by far though, and Mary eventually gets really good at baking. Rab is in charge of cheat days, with his famous Anything You Can Put In A Bowl Chili.

is more protective - Let’s just get this straight: nobody messes with Cedric unless they want high and holy hell brought down upon them. Mary handles any problems with Hogwarts because she’s the most reasonable, and it’s a coin toss between Rab and Amos on who gets to accompany her. It’s been decided that all three of them aren’t allowed to go defend their child anymore, after an unfortunate incident where McGonagall had to turn Rabastan into a guinea pig after he got in a fight with another parent whose kid was bullying Ced.

is better with kids - Cedric doesn’t become Hogwarts’ Golden Boy due to negligent parenting. Sure, they’ve all got different parenting styles, but it’s undeniable that all three of them love their boy and do their best to raise him into a good and honest man. Mary is the biggest disciplinarian, but she’s also the one he always talks to first. Amos builds up his ego, but is the biggest inspiration of being kind and strong. And Rabastan teaches him how to throw a proper curse, but to always remember that he should only do so to defend the ones he loves.

wakes up first in the morning - They all get pretty good at forcing themselves awake because Cedric was a very fussy baby. But Mary is the most alert in the morning, while the boys are still dragging their feet and (sometimes) accidentally pouring butterbeer into the cereal bowls instead of milk.

controls the TV/radio/remote - Amos, who has an uncanny knack for always choosing a song that everybody gets dancing to.

sings in the shower - At this point, they’ve gotten a shower big enough for all three of them with amazing acoustics, and are seriously considering starting a band together. But they don’t, because that would mortify Cedric.

is responsible for trapping/killing the spiders - “Call your DAD!” “Pop, it’s okay! I’ve got this!” “MAAARYYYYY!” “It’s okay! Pop, I put it outside already!”

always falls asleep on the couch - Rab, who often did so with Baby Ced, because he refused to go to bed until all three of them were home safe and under their sheets.

takes care of the other when they’re sick - Amos is superman. He’s got a box of tissues ready before Mary realizes her nose is stuffy, cough syrup before Rab even thinks to complain about his sore throat, and forces Cedric to take two tablets of Vitamin C every day.

sets the house on fire - none of them, they’ve got the candle play down at this point lmao

is horrible at budgeting - It takes a while for Rab to get a hold of himself, especially those first couple horrible years after he got locked out of the Lestrange Gringott’s vault, but he still struggles sometimes. Especially when “if Harry Potter has a firebolt, then our boy should have a firebolt!”

brings home stray pets - Still Mary and Rab, and Amos has a hard time coping up once they get Cedric on their side.

would cook the better romantic dinner - Once Rab learns how to use the stove and is confident enough for the others to actually leave him alone with it, he gets really good at this. Friday nights are Family Dinner and Board Game nights, but Saturday nights are “Rab tries a new recipe but even if it doesn’t turn out super well we’re all gonna be satisfied later” nights.

starts the holiday decorating - Mary and Amos go all out every holiday in order to distract Rab from getting depressed about the fact that his family burned him off the Lestrange tapestry and are never gonna visit.

eats the others uneaten pizza crusts - Same routine as above, except Cedric joins in on the pineapple stealing and he and Rab make faces at Mary from across the table.

watches jeopardy and calls out the answers - Cedric is literally the only one who knows the right answers. Mary, Amos, and Rab just sit there on the couch and grin about how damn smart and awesome their kid is.

clings to the other during scary movies - everyone is clinging to Amos, and he complains about it every time but they all know he loves it.

surprises the other in the shower - Still no surprise, the biggest splurge they got was getting a ten foot x ten foot shower that fits all of them. Their water bill is ridiculous, but having someone to scrub your back is the best feeling ever and they wouldn’t give it up for the world.

initiates hand holding while the other is driving - Once Cedric learns how to drive, they alternate on who gets to sit in the front seat and hold their son’s hand. The other two are in the back pestering them to change the radio station/stop by McDonald’s/honk your horn at that asshole, Ced!

asks weird questions in the middle of the night - they all still do this and blissed out pillowtalks about their relationship is still a thing because they have finally all learned that the best way to love each other is to keep learning about each other, and it’s just a happy time where they snuggle together and gush about how Ced’s doing amazing in the TriWizard tournament our son is so awesome and life is grand.

@mary-whoisleft @amos-wil

#c: amos #c: mary #Trying Our Best AU #ive decided that rab effectively stops going by rabastan lestrange once he gets disowned and changes his name to Rabastan Diggory-MacDonald #KISS KISS SKISSKISSK SSKI SKISS KISS KIS SKISS

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paytale-au · 6 years

Text

Paytale ch 8- To Waterfall

First - Previous - Next

Papyrus woke early that morning to the sound of clattering in the kitchen. He pushed himself off the couch, yawning and stretching. He folded the blanket he'd slept under and sat it on the pillow, then made his way into the kitchen.

The remains of their cooking session still marked the wall, counter, and stove-top, but that hadn't stopped someone from making pancakes, probably Alphys seeing as there wasn't any evidence of new scorch marks.

Said lizard wasn't in the vicinity, but Undyne was, plating a good sized stack of pancakes and drowning them in some type of syrup. She turned to sit at the small dining table off to the side and caught sight of him, sending a hesitant, but still large smile.

"Hey, punk! Go ahead and help yourself to a plate!" She said, throwing herself into a chair and digging in. Papyrus complied, getting his own plate from the still open cabinet and stacking the last few pancakes. He considers the syrup Undyne had used, it wasn't maple, instead it said 'Golden Flower' in fancy lettering on the lable.

"Golden flower?" He inquired, looking at Undyne.

"Yup." She nodded, swallowing her mouthful. "S'a flower that only grows only in certain places in the Underground. The late Queen found that it made a delicious tea, and in her memory her son added it to other stuff, like cakes and syrups."

"Aw, that's such a sweet thing he did!" Papyrus commented, adding the syrup to the pancakes. Then he noticed the sudden silence and looked over his shoulder. Undyne was staring at him suspiciously.

"Did you..." She narrowed her eye. "Just make a pun?"

His eyes widened as he realized. "I.. I did..." He threw his head back dramatically. "NOO! I've been corrupted!"

Undyne snorted. "Punk, I think you'll be fine with just one accidental pun slip."

He pouted and seated himself at the table. "That's what you'd think, but if you're not careful you'll be punning every other sentence, all because you didn't worry over that one slip."

She shook her head, chuckling. "Sure, dweeb."

He stuck his tongue out at her doubt, but didn't respond, instead turning his attention to the pancakes.

"So, punk," Undyne started as the finished up. "What are you planning on doing today? You sticking around or are you gonna continue to Waterfall?"

"Well," He sat back, considering. "I thought, maybe, I could stick around and maybe we could.. hang out? Cause, uhm, I'd really like to be friends! And friends hang out, so.." He trailed off, fidgeting with his cape.

Undyne grinned. "Heh, sure, punk! We can hang out! And I know just the thing to do!"

Papyrus soon found himself in a small clearing out in the forest right behind Undyne and Alphys' house, the house visible through the trees.

"A-are you sure about this?" He asked Undyne, who was standing opposite of him.

She scoffed. "Ptch! Don't be a wimp, punk! Of course I'm sure!" She summoned two spears, tossing the one in her left hand to him. "Now! This isn't a real Encounter, just a spar! Meaning I won't be calling your Soul out!"

He raised his hand. "Does that mean you can't use that green Soul attack?"

She cocked her hip and rested her free hand on it, grinning. "Good question! I could call your Soul out and use Soul magic, but it's generally not done outside of an Encounter, because in an Encounter it's only seen by your opponent, while outside of one, it's vulnerable to anyone! You ever seen an Encounter from the outside?"

He shook his head in the negative. "Well, on the inside of an Encounter, color drains to black and white so it's easier to see the magic colors. While my spears appear blue now, in an Encounter they're white, that's because they're just plain magic. On the outside of an Encounter, everything appears normal, colors and all, but if a Soul is out, whoever's on the outside can't see it, they can only see the effects of Soul magic as a glow around the person it was cast on, but not the Soul itself unless they force themselves into the Encounter, which is extremely rude. It's kinda like two people having a conversation and then some stranger jumps in the middle and starts butting into the conversation."

He nodded. "Okay, I think I got it."

"Good! Then enough talking!" She gave no other warning as she charged at him with her signature yell, slashing the spear at him.

He yelped and rolled off to the side, bringing his spear up to block the next slash. They were in a brief stalemate for a moment before he ducked and dove under her legs, the loss of support causing her to stumble, but she quickly righted herself and whirled around.

"Fuhuhuhu! That's the spirit!"

They continued on for a while, Papyrus slowly grew to enjoy it, grinning widely as he dodged and, in the rare times he found an opening, lightly jabbing Undyne with the less dangerous end of the spear.

"Y'know, you remind me of someone!" She said as she tried to trip him up.

"Really?" He asked, dodging and parrying.

"Yeah! Captain Asgore! I've known him since I was little, and he's a huge fluff-ball who doesn't like to fight if he doesn't have to!" She tried to distract him with a sudden volley of spears. "He's a total wimp! But, he's really nice, and super strong when he needs to be! In fact, he trained me!"

"Wowie!" He gushed. "I'm flattered that I remind you of him!"

She laughed, then stabbed at him again.

They were both so ensnared in their spar that they didn't noticed their lone spectator, not until a sharp whistle pierced the air. Their heads snapped to the noise, but their bodies continued in the directions they had been moving, causing them to fall into a heap of tangled limbs. Thankfully, Undyne had the mind to dissipate the spears before there was an impaling. Which was a relief, Papyrus would rather not go through that again.

A muffled snort brought their attention back to the one who'd whistled. Alphys stood at the edge of the clearing, trying to cover her giggles behind her hand.

"S-sorry," She said, "Didn't m-mean to startle you."

Undyne pushed herself up so she wasn't suffocating Papyrus. "That's okay, babe! Seems time for a break anyways. Hey, punk, you hungry as I am?"

Papyrus spat out a few strands of her hair that had gotten in his mouth when they fell. "Yeah! Is it gonna be chili again?"

Undyne seemed to be about to confirm, only for Alphys to interrupt. "A-actually, I already made some soup while you w-were sparring. Y-you've been out in the cold and it'll help you warm up."

The fish Monster shrugged and sprung to her feet, hauling Papyrus up by the hood and slinging him over her shoulder, then surprising Alphys a moment later by doing the same to her.

Said lizard Monster squeaked in shock, scales turning an interesting shade of red, and despite not being able to see her face, Undyne seemed to know, because she had her teeth bared in a pleased grin.

She carried them into the house and set them down inside. Alphys took a few moments to compose herself, and a red blush still remained as she scurried into the kitchen to distribute the soup.

As he was taking off his boots, Papyrus once again took notice of the small boots and striped poncho. "Undyne? Do you two have a kid?"

She grinned. "Heh, yeah! Scrappy little punk, that kid. They're about your age, still in stripes. Got home while you were sleeping and left after scarfing down their breakfast."

"Oh, I hope I can meet them!" He said.

"Fuhuhu, they'd like to meet ya too, punk." She said, ruffling his hair. "Now, let's get some grub!"

The soup was very good, and tasted like a much better version of the cup noodles Papyrus has had at different foster homes. Alphys was also right in that it warmed him right up.

They'd given him a small thermos of some left over soup, which he stored in his phone's inventory alongside his other food items.

"You sure you don't wanna stick around?" Undyne asked as they stood at the front door.

Papyrus nodded. "I'm sure, I really have to continue. But it was really nice to hang out with you two! And thanks for letting me stay over!"

Undyne grinned and ruffled his hair. "No problem, punk! Glad I got to know you, instead of, y'know, killing you."

"Yes, i-it's quite fortunate how things turned o-out." Alphys said. "N-now, if you need anything, please call and we'll help however we can an-" she yelped as they were both suddenly scooped up into a hug.

"Yeah, punk! Anyone messes with you, and I'll beat 'em up!" Undyne declared. "And! You're gonna meet Asgore in Waterfall, but don't worry, he's a huge pushover when it comes to small cute things! You'll be fine!"

Papyrus blushed, fidgeting with his cape. "Nyeh heh.."

She put them back on their feet and they said goodbye once more before he headed in the direction of Waterfall.

"You have fun?" He almost jumped as Frisk appeared suddenly at his side.

"Where've you been?" He asked quietly. "I haven't seen you since last night!"

"I, uh, had some things to check up on." They said.

"What things?"

"Nothing important. How was your time with Alphys and Undyne?" They asked.

Papyrus frowned at their dodging, but dropped it. "It was fun! We had pancakes with golden flower syrup, which is really good! And then I sparred with Undyne for a while. After that Alphys made some soup.." He recounted as they walked further into the fog.

The change from Snowdin to Waterfall was drastic. Where it was once bright, cold, and cheery, it was now darker, the chill less biting and more damp, and there was an eerie peacefulness to it.

"I can tell why it's called Waterfall." Papyrus commented as they passed yet another small waterfall.

Frisk snorted. "Yeah. All the Monsters in charge of naming are... not very good at it."

They came upon an unmanned guard station, next to it was a glowing blue flower with a fish monster lingering next to it. But what interested Papyrus more was the Save Star glittering next to the flower.

He gratefully went up to it, not wanting to go through yesterday all over again, even if it turned out okay in the end.

"Hey, kid." The fish Monster called, "You ever seen an Echo Flower?" They canted their head towards the flower at their side. At his head shake, the explained. "Well, they're magical flowers that grow here in Waterfall. Their name comes from the fact that they repeat the last thing they hear."

His eyes widened. "Wowie! That's so cool!"

The fish nodded. "Go ahead, give it a try."

Papyrus walked up to the flower, it seemed normal, despite the fact it was blue and glowed. He hesitantly brushed his hands against the petals, and a voice, higher but definitely the fish Monster's, emanated from it. "Go ahead, give it a try."

"Oh, wow!" He the flower again, and it said, now in a squeaky version of his own voice. "Oh, wow!"

Papyrus grinned and looked up at the fish. "Thanks for showing me!"

"No problem, kid, have a good day!" He waved and walked passed the sentry post.

"Yo! Papyrus!" He looked up, it was Riley, running towards him from the hall heading deeper into Waterfall. He gasped as they tripped and face-planted dangerously close to the waterfall. He rushed forward and crossed it, dodging rocks until he was on the other side.

"You okay?" He asked as he helped them up.

They nodded, shaking off the fall. "I'm good, dude!" They hopped from one foot to the other excitedly. "You're lucky, dude, the Captain was on a different route yesterday, so you didn't miss him! I spotted him up ahead! C'mon, before we miss him!"

Though worried about meeting Captain Asgore, he couldn't disappoint his new friend, so he rushed after him, deeper into Waterfall.

#Paytale #papyrus #monster kid #undertale au #undertale #undertale alternate universe #alternate universe #undyne #alphys #alphyne #au

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valkerymillenia · 6 years

Note

I ask all 50!!! Fill us with fun facts about you!

Holy shit, again?! I’m not that interesting, you know?But ok, I’ll try, I’ve already answered some though.

1: What color are your socks?

Answered.

2: Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Answered already!

3: What is something you regret in the past month?

So much wasted time…

4: Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’ve answered this before- no, I believe in attraction at first sight; love, however, needs to be earned, grown and nourished.

5: When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

Do notes to translate conversations into paper for my deaf dad count? If so, then today.If you mean real letters… I honestly don’t remember.

6: How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

Answered!

7: Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

Oh my gods, this is such a loaded question…Ok, I’ll try to keep it simple. Who am I kidding? That’s not possible.

Mom- ok so my mom is denial of any form of mental illness but she clearly has manic depression and war PTSD since forever. So as a result my mom has always been a bit aloof, irresponsible, neglectful, super permissive, a sneaky opportunist and a slightly childish and impulsive. Never thinks ahead, just goes nuts on the moment or spends too much time asleep (no in between).So my mom wasn’t the best mother in the world, she was a great caregiving and spoiling mother when we were babies but as soon as we gained minimal independence (aka around 5 years old) she just slacked off on the motherhood department. She’s not very bad, she’s just irresponsible and opportunistic and won’t interfere if we need help which doesn’t suit a mother but she’s a great person so she makes a very good friend (as long as you set boundaries and basic duties), she’s funny and sweet and a bit geeky, she’s also beautiful and used to be a model before I was born so she’s that fashion and beauty oriented friend (if fact she’s a certified beautician and taught me all she knows).So… Complicated relationship, lots of love but not the best mom (can’t blame her, grandma was a bitch).

Dad- I love him, he raised me, but I was also his main caregiver since I was 10 since he’s deaf and crippled. He’s a funny and permissive dad (except when he had explosive bouts of rage but that was a phase…a traumatic and slightly violent phase around the divorce time but short), he tried to be a provider and friend with shared interests with me. BUT he was also quite neglectful, being deaf made him very introverted, paranoid and isolated so he just let me run wild (I didn’t, I was taking care of the house and school instead) while he was cooped up playing pc games. We have that friendly daddy’s girl relationship but we both lack trust, we keep our more important thoughts to ourselves and I’m always afraid that as a deaf person he’ll misunderstand important things or judge me for whatever (and he’s always also feeling judged) so our relationship often feels shallow, he’s also the type in denial about people’s mental illness.

Biological father- Fucking complicated. As a little child he babysat me and was our neighbor so I was always hanging out and getting candy, he was also the person that cherished me the most to take hundreds of photos of me. I moved at age 5 so after that we only communicated through my grandma when she traveled between countries, he’d send me presents and worry about me. I only found out he was my progenitor when I was 10 and it took me years to accept it. Saw him again when I was 18, in fact it was like shock therapy- I spent a whole month living with him as I visited my hometown again. He likes to spoil me as much as he can and he’s very kind but also naive and stubborn and not the type that likes to talk about feelings or important things so talks between us are extremely awkward chitchat.

Stepdad- Terrible relationship. He’s the kind of person that is a caregiver for us all out of duty but then uses that to emotionally manipulate everyone. He’s small minded, old fashioned and selfish and blames everyone for his problems, he also seems to have a personal thing against me- pretty sure he doesn’t hate me but I’m his natural verbal punching bag, anything I say or do in front of him, no matter how innocent, even standing still for a moment or asking to pass the juice at dinner, he twists everything into insults and psychological abuse. Luckily my sister is his baby so she escapes his judgement but he wasn’t that much of a present parent to her either and let her run wild a lot (I’m so glad I could turn that around and teach her to be way more responsible than her parents). The only reason I don’t totally hate him is because he gave me sister, who I love most in the world.

8: What’s your favorite season?

Answered!

9: Do you currently like someone?

Yup, also answered before.

10: Have you ever used an Ouija board?

I know how but I never used it, as a Wiccan my preferred specialty for spiritual communing was pendulum scrying.

11: What’s the last song you sang?

“Havanna” by Camilla Cabello has been stuck in my head for weeks.

12: What’s your favorite scent?

Telling me to choose just one fav of anything is hard af… But here are some favs.

Fresh peppermint, lavender, petrichor, burnt eucalyptus, baby powder, sea water, freshly baked bread, and oddly enough- gasoline.

13: What’s your favorite urban legend?

Can’t choose favs but off the top of my head… La Llorona.

14: What’s a bad habit that you have?

Procrastinating.

15: What’s a strange habit that you have?

All my odd stims and ocd rituals.

16: What’s the first instrument that you learned to play?

Answered.

17: How would you describe your ��type?’

Already answered in the previous ask meme.

18: Would you rather stay in or go out?

Both, when I go out I make it special and try to make the most of it because it’s rare… But I guess I do prefer the safety and routine of staying home.

19: What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“Never going to see what you borrowed from dad again, am I? This is why people don’t trust you, you never keep your promises…

Well, whatever! How are the stitches? You’re better, right?

Ok, put my sister on. Kisses, bye.”

20: Do you want to get married someday?

Already answered in the previous asked meme.

21: Have you ever snuck out?

Not that I needed to with my kind of parents but yeah, a couple of times.

22: Can you sing well?

I love to sing but whether I’m good or not is up to the listener, I can post a song sample if anyone wants.

23: What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

Other than grovelling desperatly for help?

24: When was the last time you went sledding?

Never?

25: Have you ever/do you liked someone you know you can never be with?

Yeah.

26: Do people often mispronounce your name?

Yes! If you’re not a Portuguese speaker, I DARE you to pronounce my surname. Go ahead- Coelho.

27: Would you like to live in another country?

I do miss my home country, South Africa holds my heart… and I’ve dreamed of a stint in Japan. But all in all, I like this country, it’s…interesting, safe.

28: Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows?

Not really, they tend to be too over the top and stereotypical.

29: Who was the last person you said you loved to?

Boyfriend.

30: What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Follow through.

31: Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad?

Very often, Some right here on tumblr.

32: What was the last thing you cooked?

Chili con carne. Been eating leftovers of it for a whole week now.

33: Do you think you would make a good parent?

Answered already.

34: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Answered!

35: Where is your best friend right now?

Given the day and time, my sister is probably at dance practice now.

36: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends if I’m making an effort (an hour) or if I’m just being casual (20min).

37: How late do you usually stay up at night?

Answered.

38: When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t know…

39: Have you ever won a contest?

Yes, started this year by winning a Justice League pop contest. But that was more of a giveaway... Actual contest? I won a couple b of art contests before but nothing big.

40: Can you draw well?

I have art posted here so you tell me.

41: Would you ever date someone you met on Tumblr/the internet?

Sure. I already do.

42: What was the last thing you ate?

….Bread.

43: Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

I sure hope so, I try my best… But to be honest I don’t think I’m a very good partner.

44: Have you ever had a near-death experience?

About 6 actually.

45: What do you think people think of you?

I don’t know… I’ve been told I make people feel comfortable and I’m easy to open up to? But to be honest I don’t really know.

46: What is your middle name and do you like it?

Augusto. My mom’s maiden name, because that’s how it works here (Name+ maybe 2nd name + mom’s surname + dad’s surname).

Yes, I like it, it’s latin. But people sometimes mix it up with my paternal grandma’s first name.

47: Are you close with either of your parents?

In my own way, yes. Both mom and dad.

48: Do you like yourself?

Some days…

49: State five facts about your appearance –

-I get a lot of comments on my boobs and I really don’t mind

-I look pale because I stay inside a lot but I tan very easily, probably because my mom is dark

-I love my tattoos, I’m proud of them

-I wear glasses or contacts in important occasions

-I have the worst time looking people in the eye

50: State five facts about your personality –

-I’m patient but full of anxiety

-I don’t have just one personality

-I try to be as unbiased and non-judgmental as possible

-I’m obsessive about random things

-I like solitude but I also like interacting (though the more non-physical the better)

#ask meme #rach rambles #personal

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papillonrecordhouse · 6 years

Text

Ebele x Liber: C-B Support + Event 1

In collaboration with: @mo-re-mi123

@fe-exire

Liber: *walking through the market, marking off a shopping list* Let's see, fruit, check, eggs, check, a new set of glasses, check... Looks like all that's left is spices and herbs. Now where can I find- *sees a merchant selling herbs* ah, perfect timing~

Ebele: *fidgeting with her fingers* Wh-what?! 500 g-gold for som-

Merchant: Look lady, that's my price! If ya don't like it then you can scram!

Liber: *notices the two bickering* Oh dear, this doesn't look fun.

Liber: *walks up to the merchant, flashing a charming smile* My my my, what seems to be the problem? Such a ruckus might scare away other customers~

Ebele: *jumps at his sudden appearance* !!!

Merchant: Huh? oh... Look, I don't want any trouble, but this lady practically wants to steal from me!

Ebele: I-I am not! I- *scared silent by his stare*

Liber: Oh? Is that right? *peeks down at Ebele, gives her a small smile of reassurance*

Liber: *looks back at the merchant, crosses his arms* And how, pray tell, is this lovely woman possibly "practically wanting to steal from you"? From where I'm standing, it looks like you're harassing this poor woman just because she can't pay for your outrageous prices.

Merchant: Wha-! *sweats* W-well obviously these are top quality herbs and spices! *gestures at the herbs that are obviously overpriced*

Ebele: The market price, at most I-I *looks like she'll back down, but looks at Liber* -is 215 gold...!

Liber: *smirks* Ya hear that? 215 gold. At most.

Liber: *looks over to Ebele* And how much was he charging you for those herbs there miss?

Ebele: 500 gold...! *looks at Liber desperately* He's the robber here...!

Merchant: *sweats* L-Look here Miss! I don’t need this trouble. Look I'll sell it to you at 215, and you keep quiet okay? *eyes darting, hoping no one heard*

Liber: *flashes a devilish grin* Listen, there's no need for anyone to get upset. You're just trying to make a living, right? And she's simply just trying to buy some nice herbs. So how about this?

Liber: I pay 350 for her herbs and you throw in some of those spices from the back and we'll call it square? No one has to start any trouble~

Merchant: *looks* What but-! *sees the grin and gulps* F-Fine! *gives them both their purchases, single tear in his eye*

Ebele: *takes it cautiously, then looks to Liber* Thank you so much sir..! *smiles a bit*

Liber: *smiles back* Not a problem. Anything to help a beautiful woman needing to be rescued from conniving rodents.

Liber: Dealing with merchants can be tough, sometimes it helps just to have an extra person around for back-up!

Ebele: B-BeaUti- *bright red, backs away* I- uh! *shaking, like she's going to be eaten*

Liber: *concerned, moves a little closer to her* M-miss? Are you alright? You're shaking-

Ebele: *backs away even more* I'M FINE. *quickly curtsies* THAnK yoU FOr THe ASsisTAnCE. I DO NoT DesIRe FuRTHeR AFfAiRS...! *sounds rehearsed but panicked*

Liber: *looks at her, confused and even more concerned* Um, are you sure? You're acting kind of off...

Ebele: GOOD DAY! *flies away*

[End of Support C]

[Event: Vernalis]

Ebele: *walking around the streets when she smells something delicious* Oh! Is the feast today? *holds her belly* I hope Sis and Brother won’t be upset with me... *sighs*

Liber: *sighs* Damn it all, I can't find the others anywhere....

Liber: Guess I'll just head to the feast by myself then-

Liber: *notices Ebele* Hm? Wait a second, is that...?

Ebele: *hears someone and turns to see Liber* !!! *not sure what to do*

Liber: *walks over to her, smiles* Hey, you're the woman from the market, right? You ran off in such a rush I never got the chance to catch your name, haha.

Ebele: ! *looks at him* Uhhh, I-It’s Ebele... *darting her eyes around* I-I um... I'm sorry sir, but I d-do not desire any... "further affairs".

Liber: .....riiiiiiight, "further affairs".

Liber: I just came over to make sure you were okay, you had me a little worried there the other day. I hope nothing I said offended you?

Ebele: ... *looks at him cautiously* ... I... I just don’t appreciate advances sir. Um... What's your name, I didn't get it either…

Liber: Advances? Oh, I see, my apologies, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just simply stating a fact!

Liber: Liber Aurelius, at your service~ *bows gracefully*

Ebele: ! *feels flattered* Well again, thank you Liber for yesterday. I... umm I'm sorry for worrying you. I just... flattery is just not for me! It feels creepy when someone tells me things like that. *wants to hide her face*

Liber: Ah...I see then.

Liber: *smiles* I understand, won't happen again!

Liber: Are you attending the feast?

Ebele: No, sadly... I usually have it with my siblings, but they’re all the way in Goldoa. I actually completely forgot about it. Why? *looks at him with suspicion*

Liber: I was just asking if you wanted to go together! I seem to have lost my group and I figure instead of being alone, we could go with each other! Food always tastes better with someone else's company after all~

Ebele: ! Ah- *shocked but then curious* Are you sure? *looks down then up at him, with soft eyes*

Liber: Of course I'm sure! No sense in both of us being alone during a festival, might as well make the most of things, hm?

Ebele: *judges her options, but then her tummy grumbles* ! Oh well, I suppose you're right. *stands next to him, but with good distance between them* Very well then, um, lead the way?

Liber: Of course, right this way m'lady~ *offers his hand out for her to take it if she wants*

Ebele: *looks at his hand* ? ... oh! *pulls out her purse* Sorry I only have this much. Is there a toll for the feast? *hands him 100 gold*

Liber: *stares at the gold* uh.....

Liber: *hands it back to her* Never mind, let's just get going.

Ebele: *confused, but smiles* Okay!

[End of Event 1]

Liber: *setting up the table* Okay, plates, check, flowers, check, Food, check.... Now all that's missing is Ebele...

Liber: *looks up at the clock, then back down* Ah, what the hell? She probably won't come. I guess I better get ready to call Chen over soon-

Ebele: *lightly knocks on door* Um, anyone home?... *looks at the paper with the address* This is it, right?

Liber: *hears her knocking* No way... *peeks through the window* I can't believe she actually came.

Liber: *quickly runs over, opens the door* Well hello there, welcomed guest~

Ebele: ! *jumps at the sudden opening* O-oh! Liber, thank you. *curtsies* It’s a pleasure to be here. So this is your home? *looks behind him, as if to be sure they are alone then relaxes*

Liber: Sure thing! Oh please come in, you're just in time for dinner!~ *runs back to the kitchen, allowing Ebele to make herself comfortable*

Ebele: *walks in, looking around* ... *looks at pictures then sees the flowers* Oh! How lovely. *quickly walks over* I have never seen flowers like this before! Are they native to here? *smiling brightly as she gently touches them*

Liber: *yells from the kitchen* Yes ma'am! A friend of mine helped pick them for me, I figured it would help set the mood haha.

Liber: *comes out carrying two hot plates of food, sets them both on the table* Milady, dinner, is served~! *bows dramatically*

Ebele: *looks at him and chuckles* Why thank you~ *smiles and takes in the aroma* It's heavenly! *takes a seat and waits for him*

Liber: *takes a seat* Prepare to be amazed~

Liber: I don't wanna brag, but when I said at the festival I could make something just as good, I meant it!

Ebele: I believe you, just by the smell. *takes a forkful and gasps* !!! *looks at him with wide eyes, filled with joy as she slowly chews her food* Oh my, such flavor! You added a bit of chili pepper didn't you? I can feel the kick~ *takes another forkful*

Liber: *lets out a sigh of relief, a huge smile spreads across his face* I'm glad that you enjoy it! I worked really hard!

Liber: Ahhhh, you noticed! Yeah I thought it really help bring out the main flavor.

Liber: How is everything else? Not too overdone? All the flavors balance out okay? How about- *realizes he's rambling, stops. Mumbles out a quick apology for his behavior before stuffing his face with the food in front of him*

Ebele: *chuckles and nods* It’s not overdone at all! Maybe a bit less salt and it would be exactly perfect! But close to perfect is still amazing! *puts has hand to her heart* You shouldn't apologize for your excitement, its endearing. You must really enjoy cooking. Where did you learn? *takes another forkful*

Liber: *face still red from embarrassment* A-ah, you think so? I suppose, although such behavior really doesn't fit my image I guess, hehe

Liber: *tenses up a little, tries to laugh it off* W-where did I learn? Oh, well, most of it I actually taught myself, but some tricks I learned from my brother. It was my mom who taught me the basics and really got me into it I guess, haha...

Ebele: Oh? Will I hope I can meet them sometime to thank them, their lessons have proven fruitful! *finishes her meal* Delicious! Even better than the feast for sure. *looks at him and notices his tension* Uh, is everything alright?

Liber: *shakes it off, throwing Ebele another smile* Of course, everything's perfect! Another person got to try my cooking and they loved it! What more could I ask for?

Liber: *already picking up her plate* Here, I'll just get this out of your way for you-

Ebele: *cups his hand by instinct but then let’s go* ! Um... Are you sure you're okay? *looks up to him* I didn't mean to intrude.

Liber: *slightly taken aback by her sudden reaction, then eases up* Ah, it's nothing really. You aren't intruding, I promise~

Ebele: *thinking then gets an idea* You know... There's a festival coming up. And after such a lovely dinner... I was thinking I could treat you to some then! I won't be busy with patients that day so... It'd be perfect if you like.

Liber: *thinks about it* Hmm... You know what, that sounds lovely! Any chance to spend more time with you would be a wonderful treat! I accept~

Ebele: *smiles again* Great! Then on that day, I hope to meet you at the festival. *gets up* I should get going, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. *curtsies*

Liber: Of course, of course! Until then milady. *tries to bow with the plates still in hand, a lil wobbly, but still pretty good*

Ebele: *chuckles and leaves*

[End of Support B]

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skylarjackson13 · 5 years

Text

Baked Potatoes (Platonic Moxiety)

It was Patton’s night to cook. He didn’t mind; in fact, these were his favorite nights. The others had many skills of their own, but cooking was not one of them. He ended up making dinner far more often than the others, to the delight of all four involved. Tonight’s meal was baked potatoes with broccoli, cheese, and barbecue chicken. He was trying to surprise the others with a large meal, especially since it was one of their favorites, but he quickly realized he’d bitten off more than he could chew. He smiled to himself. Pun definitely intended. He left his prep on the counter and went down the hall to Virgil’s room. He knocked and waited expectantly. After standing there for over five minutes with no answer, he knocked again. A minute later, the door slowly opened, revealing Virgil. His headphones hung loosely around his neck. “What?’ he asked. Patton beamed. “Hey kiddo, not trying to bother you-” he said. “Would you wanna help me cook?” Virgil looked surprised. “You want me to? You usually handle that alone.” Patton looked down, slightly crestfallen. “Oh. Okay.” “No, Pat, I will!” Virgil said quickly. “I was just wondering why you wanted me. And why you wanted me, over the others.” The moral side fidgeted. “You’re fun to work with?” He blinked, making his famous puppy eyes at Virgil. The anxious side sighed and smiled. “Alright, Pat. I’ll help you cook.” He stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. “So what’s dinner?” “Baked potatoes.” Patton replied, heading back to the kitchen. Virgil grinned. “Alright. What do you need my help with, huh?” Patton pointed to the bag of potatoes he’d bought earlier that day. “I need you to wash those, then salt the skins and put them in the oven.” Virgil nodded. “No problem.” Patton watched the other side go over to counter and begin to wash the potatoes. He smiled happily and went to the fridge to grab the broccoli and chicken. “How do I salt them?” Virgil asked in slightly confusion. Patton hid his smile as he walked over to Virgil. He crouched down and grabbed a metal cooking sheet. “Did you wash them?” Virgil nodded. “Okay. Just pour some oil on them, put them on the pan, and sprinkle the salt.” The moral side handed Virgil the bottle of olive oil, who took it with a smile. “Alright, Pat. I think I can handle that for you.” “Good.” Patton smiled and returned to the stove, placing a pot of water on it and turning the burner on high. Then he pulled out the broccoli and placed it on a cutting board to chop. Behind him, he could hear the opening of an oven door. He turned to look at Virgil. “Did you preheat the oven?” Under his eyeshadow, the side flushed. “Er… no.” Patton came over and set the oven to 350. “Wait till it beeps.” “Patton, are you sure I’m the best person to help you out with this? Logan would be able to fill in the steps you’re not saying. Even Roman would think of new, creative ways to make the meals.” Patton frowned. “I just… thought it would be something fun for us to do together. You spend all that time locked up in your room, kiddo. I just wanted to do something with you.” Virgil was silent for a moment. His lips curved into a small smile. “That’s pretty sweet of you, Patton.” Patton smiled shyly and looked away. There was another silence, broken only when the oven buzzed. Virgil turned and carefully opened the door, pushing the potatoes inside. When he closed it, Patton said, “Set the timer for forty minutes.” The anxious side nodded and did so. Patton’s water was starting to boil. He quickly returned to the broccoli and began to cut it into smaller pieces. “Anything else?” Virgil asked after he’d set the timer. Patton paused for a moment, looking around. “The chicken needs to be heated up. And… oh! You could grate the cheese. There’s cheddar and gouda in the fridge.” “Are you always this excited about making dinner for all of us?” Virgil asked, opening the refrigerator doors. Patton gave a small shrug. “I dunno. I suppose I probably am, but I never have anybody in here to see me. Is it… a bad thing?” he asked unsurely. “No!” Virgil said quickly. “Absolutely not, it’s actually really cute to watch. Just curious why you like it so much.” “Just a hobby, I guess.” Patton said, brushing the broccoli off the cutting board and into the boiling water. He smiled at Virgil. “Something I enjoy.” “Well, I’m glad you do.” Virgil said seriously. “Otherwise I think we’d all dread dinner. Have you seen Logan cook?” He began to grate the block of cheddar as Patton started to laugh. “He tries to read his astronomy textbook while the water boils to steam behind him.” They were both laughing now. Patton wiped his eyes and grabbed the other grater, starting to grate the gouda. When both sides were done, Patton took a plate out and helped Virgil scrape both piles of cheese onto it. “Okay. Help me put the chicken in the crockpot, and then we can relax until the potatoes are done.” Virgil nodded his understanding and went to get the crockpot. He knew (as did the others) where it was due to a failed chili surprise they’d attempted for Patton one night. The moral side suppressed a shudder at the memory. He waited for Virgil to plug in the pot before dumping the marinated chicken inside. “That’s it.” Patton said, placing the lid on top. Virgil watched him for a moment before giving a dramatic sigh. “Do you want to watch Just Like Heaven?” Patton’s eyes went wide. “Yes!” he said instantly. Virgil smiled knowingly and went into the living room to put it on. Soon they were both curled up in warm blankets watching the opening scenes. Patton was excited. Just Like Heaven was his favorite film, and Virgil knew it. The anxious side seemed happy as well, though he kept his eyes trained on the screen. They were just getting to the good part when Patton frowned. “Do you smell something?” Virgil paused the movie and was still. “Not sure.” He pressed play. “I’ll go check.” Satisfied, Patton continued to watch his movie. It was another fifteen minutes before he realized that the smell had not gone away. He got up and went into the kitchen to find Virgil crouched in front of the oven. He was staring at the inside with rapt attention. “Kiddo?” Patton asked unsurely. “Are the potatoes burning?” Virgil blinked at the sound of his voice and turned to looked at him. “Yeah.” he said after a moment, face splitting into a grin. “It’s so cool, come see.” “Cool? Virgil, they-” Patton broke off as he peered inside the oven. “Virgil, they’re on fire!” The other side seemed rather unconcerned by this fact. The potatoes had burst into small orange flames. “Isn’t it cool?” “No, we need to put it out, Virge, it’s a fire!” “Oh.” Virgil frowned and stood. “Fair point. Here, let me just-” “No, wait!” Patton looked regretfully at the now-open oven door, which sent smoke billowing into the air. “Oops-” Virgil grinned sheepishly as the smoke alarm rang. Patton quickly grabbed a towel and fanned the alarm to clear the smoke while the other side opened a window. Eventually, the beeping stopped, though the kitchen remained thick and foggy. Patton put on an oven glove and pulled out the smoking baked potatoes. Virgil seemed suddenly subdued. “Well, there goes dinner.” Patton said, dumping the charred remains in the trash. “Sorry-” the anxious side said softly. Patton frowned, turning to look at him. “You don’t have to be sorry, kiddo. It’s no big deal.” Virgil nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I guess I’m a bit of a pyro, huh?” Patton tried and failed to suppress a grin. “I guess you ar…son.” Virgil snorted. “I don’t know how you come up with those so quickly.” he said. Patton shrugged innocently. “Dunno.” Virgil looked around the kitchen. “So, what about dinner, then?” Patton smiled. “Guess we’ll have barbecue sandwiches with cheesy broccoli. There’s hamburger buns in the pantry.” Virgil returned his smile admiringly. “This is why you’re the cook, Pat.” He wrapped an arm affectionately around the moral side, who leaned into him happily. All of the sudden Roman burst into the kitchen, sword brandished in front of him. “I heard an alarm!” Patton and Virgil just smiled.

0 notes

wellpersonsblog · 5 years

Text

I’m Upgrading My Daily Diet, Here’s How

At the beginning of this year, I set the goal to get into the best shape of my life in 2019.

This meant a return to running. Building strength, muscle, and quickness through Muay Thai. And probably lifting some weights, too.

One thing it didn’t mean, I thought, was a change to my diet.

I was already eating 100% plant-based, and mostly whole foods, when I told Doug in a recent episode of No Meat Athlete Radio that I was grateful not to have to worry about my diet in order to achieve this goal.

Well, I was wrong.

Since then, in thinking next-level about what it’ll take for me to achieve my fitness goals and others this year (I set nine of them!), I’ve realized how important anything that affects my energy levels — and indeed, anything I do every single day — is.

Hence more closely examining my supplementation routine, my daily schedule, and of course, my diet.

Upgrading My Daily Meal Plan

After I joined a mixed martial arts gym and started Muay Thai last fall, I found myself (not surprisingly) hungrier than I had been before, and eager to make sure I was eating enough to recover from workouts and build muscle.

So I started eating everything. Still vegan, of course… but white flour, oil, salt — if it made food taste better and made me eat more of it, I was in.

Or rather, it was in. Me.

It worked, like I knew it would. I added a lot of muscle, quickly. But I was always bloated, and although, admittedly, the departure from healthy eating was fun, I knew I’d need to find a way to build muscle while still eating healthily for the long term.

I made two decisions:

1. Start cooking ahead of time, “for the freezer,” so that I’d always have a healthy, substantial meal at the ready.

The motivation here: I found myself eating junk around lunchtime after my workouts if I didn’t have leftovers from the previous night’s dinner. This is the time when I was most ravenous, and could rationalize anything as “good for post-workout refueling.” By always having a healthy meal available, I eliminated that issue.

(Previously I had been eating a big salad with beans for lunch, but I found this wasn’t enough calories once my workouts became intense.)

Cooking ahead of time — every few weekends, I knock out several double-batch recipes at once — has also freed up my wife and myself from cooking, for several nights a week.

Last year we did a good job of stocking quick meals we knew the kids would eat (frozen veggie burgers and falafel from Trader Joe’s, for example) to avoid the old “No way in hell we’re cooking tonight, let’s just order something.” But this year, instead of the greasy frozen food, it’s non-greasy frozen food I’ve made ahead of time.

Big win there. At the bottom of this post, I’ll share the two “for the freezer” recipes I happened to cook earlier this week.

2. Stop cooking with oil.

I stopped eating oil back in 2015, and lasted six solid months that way. I felt great and didn’t lose any weight like I had worried I would, but ultimately, I missed cooking with olive oil. So it slowly crept back into my diet (though I was much more careful with it than before).

But recently, motivated by a major heart scare my mom had, I decided that “it tastes good and I really like cooking with it” isn’t a good excuse.

It’s actually not the caloric density of oil that scares me — it’s what happens to oil when it’s heated (and worse, reheated), especially at the high temperatures we use for sautéing and frying. Oxidation, peroxidation, and the creation of mutagens that our bodies don’t recognize and that are linked to cancer.

I’m not really into that.

So I’ve once again cut the oil, with just a few exceptions.

My three allowances with oil:

1. I’m okay with drizzling unheated extra-virgin olive oil on salads, or other foods I might eat that traditionally involve a drizzle of oil at the table (pan con tomate is the only other example I can think of right now). This happens about twice a week, for me, and the amount is small (a teaspoon or so).

Like I said, it’s the heating of oil that most concerns me, so no major issue here.

Why the “extra-virgin” requirement? Because extra-virgin olive oil is the only oil I know of that, in some studies, has been shown not to cause arterial impairment in the hours following its consumption.

(There’s a lot of interesting and confusing research on this topic — some shows that red wine in combination with extra-virgin olive oil avoids arterial inflammation, while others suggest that even extra-virgin oil is harmful to the endothelial cells lining our arteries. Adding to the confusion, it’s not always clear whether the oil in the studies is heated in cooking or instead served raw.)

According to Dr. Greger, any protective effect of extra-virgin oil is because of the fact that “Extra-virgin olive oil retains a fraction of the anti-inflammatory phytonutrients found in the olive fruit, and so doesn’t appear to induce the spike in inflammatory markers caused by regular olive oil.”

So certainly not a whole food, but closer, perhaps, than other oils. And some of the evidence for how our arteries respond seems to support this.

2. I’m okay with simmering extra-virgin olive oil in tomato sauce over very low heat.

Partly because low heat is better than high (and olive oil is fairly stable due to low polyunsaturated fat content), partly because it’s a Blue Zones kind of thing to do, partly because I love cooking Italian food and consider it my mission to collect as many great sauce recipes as I can, and partly because of the way that extra virgin olive oil and tomatoes interact, when slow-simmered, to enhance the cancer-fighting properties of tomatoes. (I learned this from anti-angiogenesis pioneer Dr. William Li.)

3. If I’m out to eat, I don’t worry about it then.

You could argue these exceptions are excuses. So could I. They might be.

I’m okay with that.

My New Meal Plan

I used to eat like this:

Smoothie for breakfast.

Giant salad with beans and nut-based dressing for lunch.

A grain, a green, and a bean for dinner

Fruit for snacks

(You can get more details about this simple meal plan structure here. I like it because it makes it very easy for me to include my 7 Foods Worth Eating Every Single Day.)

But now, given that find myself wanting to eat an entire pizza at 11am after my workouts, I eat like this:

Smoothie for breakfast*

Beans and grains for lunch (leftovers, or from my freezer collection)

A medium-sized salad and a grain, a green, and a bean for dinner

Fruits, hummus and veggies, and cereal with almond milk for snacks

*I’ve added tart cherry juice to my smoothie recently, mainly for workout recovery. The other ingredients, most days, are flaxseeds, walnuts, bananas, and mixed frozen berries.

Oh, and I have a single cup of light-roast coffee each morning, and most nights a glass of wine or beer after dinner.

So there you have it. My 2019 meal plan. Until it’s time to change it.

‘For the Freezer’ Recipes

For some examples, or loads of fun playing along at home, here are two of the freezer meals I’ve cooked this week, both from my book No Meat Athlete, Revised & Expanded, Fair Winds Press, October 2018.

Note: I cook these recipes without the oil now, and when I’m cooking for the freezer, leave out anything that would work better as a last-minute garnish. This includes the last-minute garnishes (duh), greens wilted in a stew or soup, and sometimes seasonings, like the toasted spice blend in the curried red lentils recipe. Streamline, baby.

No nutrition info included here. I don’t pay attention to that stuff at all. It’s in the book though, because people leave bad reviews if you don’t put it in cookbooks. I tried it once.

Enjoy!

Simple Spanish-Style Stewed Beans in Tomato Sauce

1 can (14.5 ounces) fire roasted diced tomatoes (or whole peeled tomatoes and their juice, pureed)

2 large cloves garlic, minced

1 can (19 ounces) white beans, such as cannellini, drained

Salt and black pepper, to taste

Vegan Parmesan Sprinkle, for serving (recipe in book, but you can use this one instead)

Extra virgin olive oil (optional), for serving

4 slices rustic whole-grain or sourdough bread (optional), for serving

Add the entire contents of the tomato can and garlic to a medium skillet and bring to a simmer over medium heat. After 5 minutes of simmering, add the white beans.

Lower the heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally to prevent the beans from sticking, for an additional 12 to 15 minutes, until the tomatoes begin to break down and most of the liquid has evaporated. If the pan gets dry too quickly, add a splash or water or two to allow the simmering to continue.

Add salt and black pepper to taste.

Serve topped with a few tablespoons of Vegan Parmesan Sprinkle and, optionally, a drizzle of extra-virgin olive oil, alongside toasted rustic bread.

Super Quick Red Lentils and Rice

2.5 cups red lentils, rinsed under cold water until it runs clear

6 cups water

1 teaspoon ground turmeric

1.5 teaspoons chili powder

1.5 teaspoons salt

2 tablespoons coconut or grapeseed oil [Note: I omit this now]

1 teaspoon fennel seed

1.5 teaspoons cumin seed

1.5 teaspoons dried marjoram or oregano

.25 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, more to taste

4 cups baby spinach

.5 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

Lemon juice, for serving

Hot sauce, for serving (optional)

6 to 8 cups cooked brown rice, for serving

Combine the lentil and water in a large pot and stir in the turmeric, chili powder, and salt. Bring to a boil over high heat and then reduce heat to medium and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally until the lentils are tender and the mixture is more or less homogeneous, 25 to 30 minutes. (Some of the lentils will dissolve completely while others will just barely hold their shape and provide some texture.)

When the lentils are about 2 minutes from being done, heat the oil in a separate pan over medium-high heat. [Again: I don’t do that part anymore, and instead just lightly toast the spices in a dry skillet.] Add the fennel and cumin seed, marjoram, mustard seed, and red pepper flakes and stir for a minute. Then pour the spice-and-oil mixture into the pot with the lentils, along with the baby spinach, and stir to combine and wilt the spinach.

Serve over brown rice, garnished with cilantro, lemon juice, hot sauce, and more salt to taste.

When reheating this dish (or if it sits for a while on the stove and begins to dry out), simply add some hot water and it will be like new again!

The post I’m Upgrading My Daily Diet, Here’s How appeared first on No Meat Athlete.

First found here: I’m Upgrading My Daily Diet, Here’s How

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