AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop watching porn?

This is pretty simple tbh. NSFW mentions of porn, sex, and masturbation.

🐣🐣

I am a transgender man and struggle a lot with sexual intimacy. I don’t think I’m on the ace spectrum, I just have a lot of insecurities and dysphoria that I’m working through. I still crave sexual intimacy, I just get very anxious about it. My boyfriend is understanding but a little pushy at times because he’s got a high sex drive. He doesn’t do it on purpose and backs off when I tell him to. Important to mention that my boyfriend is cis. So, because of this, my boyfriend usually takes care of himself. I help out whenever I feel comfortable.

Recently, we somehow started talking about porn and hentai (don’t remember the context of the conversation) and I asked him what he does when he takes care of himself. He said he watches porn, which I was surprised to hear but it makes sense because he has aphantasia. So, he can’t really imagine me or anything. Sometimes he uses my photos, but he said he needs some movement. At first I was fine with it, but then he mentioned that he only watches straight porn.

Now, I know my reaction was out of line, because I started crying and calling him an asshole for watching straight porn when he’s dating a trans guy. He’s pansexual, so he can really watch any kind of porn he wants, but I just started freaking out for some reason.

He kept telling me that there was no good gay stuff or ftm stuff, which is just straight up not true. There’s plenty of ftm nsfw content, but when I mentioned that, he said it felt weird and fetishistic.

I told him it hurts me when he watches straight porn, he said that’s stupid and he needs something to get off to. Fair enough but it still hurts me. There’s just something about me trying so hard to get past my anxiety and dysphoria so we can finally be intimate with each other and him blatantly disrespecting my gender identity that hurts like hell.

Plus, every time I suggested we do something that I’m into, he shot me down. I’m a bit of a kinkier guy and he’s very vanilla, despite insisting that he’s into the same stuff as me. I 100% respect his boundaries and never brought it up again. But I don’t think it’s fair that he won’t even try stuff with me that might make intimacy more enjoyable for me and then goes and watches straight porn. I keep trying to make our sex live work and he can’t even be bothered to figure out ftm bodies. Idk.

I talked to an online friend and they called me biphobic.

Am I out of line for trying to tell him what kind of porn to watch? Am I overreacting?

🏳️‍🌈 for any character you want (this is for the ask game)

killing two birds with one stone or whatever they say and I'm answering both of these with a doodle lmao

sexuality and disability headcanon for the only two fuckers in my head right now

here you go lol also more ramblings down below because I did say I wanted to yap

- Paul is unlabeled to me, he never bothered to find a label that fits his sexuality. Considering he never had a lot of relationships he never bothered to do a bit of introspection in that regard.

Patryck is a whole different beast- he's SOOO closeted. "wish I was straight" type of deal. "I wish I could kiss guys but I'm not gay" type. He's a mess. Considering he was also more "active" compared to Paul before the army, it would mean he had the time to experiment. But he never did. He had thoughts about guys but always assumed it was more of a "gender envy" or whatever thing rather than genuine attraction

- I did talk about Paul's eye once- but never too much in depth, neither did i for Patryck's chronic pains now that I think about it. Like I previously said in a past post, Paul got his eye scarred during the asdfland incident. He consequently lost sight of said eye, considering it was heavily damaged. Not enough to remove it completely, as it is still there, however it is paralyzed and can't move it. He can still close his eyelid though. I imagine he had to wear an eye patch for the first few months maybe- and then decided to just. Uncover it

Patryck has always had chronic pains since he was little- in fact that was part of the reason he was so sheltered and . Generally just bad at any sort of physical activity (not that it mattered anyway, he Does prioritize more intellectual hobbies / interests than anything physical). I'm gonna be real with you chat this is HEAVY self projection HOWEVER I think most of his pain is located on joints and muscles, which means he has to. Stop and take a break from heavy physical activity every now and then. How is he in the army, again......

this has probably been asked here before but how likely do you think it is that the author actually truly intended for Griffith and guts relationship to be romantic? How likely do you think it is we’ll get a blatant confirmation (eg a confession of love beyond being friends or even a tragic kiss) and if it does happen do you think it’s likely we’ll get an explicit confirmation on both of their ends so we know the feeling is reciprocated (because I know guts feelings can be underestimated sometimes compared to griffiths). Likelihood as a percentage or on a scale from one to ten lol. I think it’s already pretty obvious enough for me to be satisfied whatever happens but it would be nice if there was an undeniable proof of mutual romantic love. because I think no matter what happens if it’s anything less than spelling it out word for word people would still make attempts to deny their feelings which is kind of sad to me. But I could be wrong of course and romance wasn’t intended by the author. Either way I want them to reveal their feelings for each other whether platonic or romantic.

I'm cynical, so I feel like the odds of something textually romantic happening are like, 2/10 at best. Might've gone up to 3/10 if Miura was stlil alive since it's getting more and more common to confirm gay subtext and that might've influenced him, but since it's being written now by someone determined to adhere to the plans Miura told him, whatever happens is frozen in amber circa Miura and Mori's last conversation, with no room to evolve.

That's all pretty much a moot point anyway because again, I think the odds were always gonna be pretty miniscule anyway.

That said, I think the odds that Miura intended the gay subtext are like 9.5/10 lol. I think the romantic undertones are almost certainly deliberate.

I guess I just don't think it necessarily follows that the point of the subtext was ever to eventually become text. I think it was probably there for a lot of potential other reasons: to add a sense of depth and complexity to their relationship; to add more chemistry; potentially to appeal to women; to suggest that their relationship had the potential for romance that will never be realized therefore making their relationship even more all-encompassing and adding to the tragedy; serving the theme of childhood trauma fucking up your relationships; etc.

Of course I'd be overjoyed if it was acknowledged eventually, and I think the story would ultimately be better for it, like I'm not gonna say it's ~deeper~ if it stays subtext lol. But I think that considering the main target audience for Berserk is horny straight dudes, and while it's getting more common it's still very rare to have textual gay romances between two leads, and almost unheard of in legacy media properties, I just don't think the odds are in griffguts' favour.

Oh, though I do want to add that I'd say the odds of getting an acknowledgement of intense feelings between them post-eclipse is very high. I don't think it'd likely be a romantic confession, but yeah I think it seems very likely that Griffith and Guts are going to acknowledge the intense emotional hold they still have over each other. And if that happens I'll be happy even if it's not textually romantic. I'm sure it'll at least be homoerotic enough for me lol.

Thanks for the ask!

I’ve been seeing a lot of people shit on straight couples in shipping and in general as a "joke" lately, particularly in the Dungeon Meshi fandom. Friendly reminder that, besides the evil straights, when you mock or put down straight couples for being straight/"not queer enough", you also make bi and pan people, and trans and ace people who experience hetero attraction feel unwelcome and lesser. Negativity hurts, love is love, happy valentine’s!

Herbert West is iconic gay representation for multiple reasons but honestly the most painfully accurate reason is that not only does he have a type (tall brunet male bimbos) that he folds for every time without fail, but he also holds out the classic homosexual hope that he’ll be able to turn said men he falls for. and they leave him for a woman every time. He’s just like us

“What do you mean there’s still so much biphobia in fan spaces? Bisexuals are like some of the most popular characters!”

Yeah, and they either get treated like this:

Or like this:

“Biphobia isn’t real” neither are your braincells

the reason i’m not afraid of aging is because i want to be a hot middle-aged man who has a toxic yaoi relationship with another middle-aged man

as a russian who doesn't talk to russian people online what the shit is happening there hello

look man i myself have put in the effort to Not talk to online russians for like (checks hand) 7 or so years (of course i’ve met some really great ones but this isn’t about them and they probably know it) but i’m sure the community didn’t change much. actually from the glimpses i see it seems to have gotten worse. don’t even get me startedddddd man

'just die now instead. because i cannot watch you break apart piece by piece. so just go and die right now instead. because of you... i think i'm going crazy.'

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

It sucks when a close friend of you say something really bad/kinda homophobic/without realizing.

But being able to change his mind super quick with a few words is pretty cool though

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

one of the reasons why i was upset after volume 2 wasn't even because i wanted will to come out or thought it would've made more sense for him than what we got it was because i wanted it to be clearer that he's gay because now people are still saying he isn't actually gay in the show which i knew was gonna happen and is just...so upsetting to me...

I’ve literally had multiple people ask me straight to my face if I was bisexual because they suspected I was and even tho I knew in all three of those situations that the person I was talking to was safe (either queer themself or an ally), it was really scary to be forced in that moment to come out without my consent, or feel forced to lie about it in order to protect myself, regardless of whether I needed to or not. I can’t imagine being a world famous celebrity and having fan pages dedicated to my alleged sexuality, analyzing every behavior I did and whether or not it was queer, calling all of my relationships PR relationships or beards because they are so convinced I am a homosexual. Either erasing my bisexuality to call me a lesbian or forcefully outing me. People who don’t even know me. It’s scary and honestly creepy enough having someone who knows you personally do it, but someone who’s never even met you? And doing it in front of the whole world? I would never feel safe enough to come out, not just because of the risk of homophobic attacks, but because the people who claim to support me are the ones that made me do it

Huh. That sure was a movie.

my dad is so funny to me sometimes because he'll go on huge rants about how shipping and headcanons are toxic and if you don't take everything from the Canon material its toxic and then I look at all my headcanon designs and look back at him like 🧍‍♂️