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#NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN SO BLESSED
calmparticles · 4 months
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upperranktwo · 2 years
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☆Oikawa Tōru☆
little gift for Mica ♡ @princesstooru
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clits-and-clips · 7 days
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Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain
#txt#have been reading the affirmations every day twice a day sometimes#doing my intentions and manifesting what i wsnt#which is mainly independence#also a good relationship with my ex from here#mainly stuff for me tho#and the full moon on Wednesday which is in scorpio which is his sun sign#will be a big release and maybe i can let go a bit or a lot lol#i need to move on and focus on myself and what i want in life and doing it all on my own#with support obviously but ive never been fully independent and im so ready for the blessings and the open doors#i dont know if ill truly ever be over him but i have to try for my own sanity at this point#i dont want to manifest anything selfish like him coming back to me because it probably wont happen anyway lmao#i hope i dont sound crazy lmao but coming back into my spiritual journey is definitely what i need#connecting with myself and my purpose feels like the only thing i can do rn#have a driving lesson tomorrow but in all honesty i could just go do the test and pass cause ive been driving forever and im good at it#just need to practice certain things but im nearly there! so close i can feel it and see it#anyway i hope i can keep this energy up and continue to head in a positive direction because it feels really good#if i need to cry about him and the loss then i will but im not going to dwell on it too much#i just need to take it as a lesson and let it go :)#cause at the end of the day i really did lead myself here whether it was his choice to end it or not#blah
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missjoolee · 1 year
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More Than a Long Weekend
Making of Sunset Curve's Sophomore Album
(note from me, missjoolee. i have no clue how this happened. but it’s a spiral that ripped itself from my being that i’ve decided to spruce up just a touch [with some very good additions from my group chat 😘] and post. I don’t have the energy or time to fully flesh it all out for a full fic, but i decided i could at least write a scene to accompany the rest. hope you all enjoy!)
sunset curve released a stellar freshman album. they had a big tour and for their next one, the label wants to do a mini documentary of that process
Ray is the head videographer and producer of the film team.
Julie was originally just there as his assistant, but her knowledge of the music creation process had her making suggestions of what types of questions to ask, milestones to film, and Ray decided to take  a step back and have her "run the show" so to speak
which you can tell something changes because in the first week or so of one on one interviews, all the guys are kinda nervous, but then they suddenly are much more chill and smile more
Julie is constantly talking to the guys to keep them briefed on what the crew will be doing at any given time, explaining why whenever necessary, and the crew (and the rest of the band) slowly become aware of a blossoming something between her and the lead singer
cue the jim halpert looking directly into the camera moments from Reggie and Alex whenever luke goes off on a enthused tangent while speaking to julie. Cue the crew filming Julie's briefs with the band just so they don't miss any of the looks traded between the two
cue the crew and the band using their phones to sneak footage whenever they stumble upon a soft moment
Ray was surprised at first by all the extra down time footage that was getting recorded at first but then realizes whats happening. so instead of all that footage hitting the cutting room floor, it all gets put in a separate folder. suddenly, he's covertly pulling the guys in for private interviews. he's doing the same with the crew to talk about juke moments (if they want to) (Reggie jumps IMMEDIATELY onto dragging the smitten luke through the mud. telling stories of dumb things Luke has done because he was trying to impress julie)
and then he pulls luke and julie in separately to record a sort of "evaluation" of the documentary process (How was your experience with our crew? Julie took the reigns early on, how was it, working with her?)(julie's was more like the usual interview, talking on her experiences working with the different members of the band. a lot of questions were fishing for candid comments about luke)(and a lot of the more professional questions/answers do get used for SC's documentary)
then the album release is fast approaching. Julie is super proud of these boys. she knows the album is going to fly up the charts. but there is melancholy as after the release party, the documentary crew will move onto the next thing. She has all of the guy's numbers (having had to call all of them at some point to be like "where the hell are you? we are supposed to be doing this") and she's been texting Luke about a lot more non work related things recently.
but she doesn't know if that will keep up once she's not seeing them every week
Just prior to the release, the guys have a concert where they plan to debut one of their new songs. The crew is there because of this. the crowd is told that it's being recorded. Julie is hanging out side stage. Luke can see her getting into the music from his spot at the front of the stage.
Luke loves it when he can see the crowd singing along to one of his songs. It's even better when he can hear them almost drowning him out even with the mic. It's amazing when they are getting into a song so new, they've never heard it before but can really feel it. But as they debut their latest single, he discovers he was wholly unprepared for the emotions coursing through him after glancing to the side and seeing Julie belting the lyrics along with him. The only one in thousands. The lights doused her in pink, red, blue and yellow, gleaming off the luscious curls he's daydreamed about running his fingers through more than once. Her smile is so big he can't help but return it before looking back to the front.
Dread flashes through him, tingling along every nerve ending and taking up residence in his stomach. "It's almost over." His body goes on autopilot, stepping back from the mic and looking at his hands move along the frets for the change up between the chorus and the second verse, as he wrestles with his mind to focus on finishing the song. Luckily the muscle memory from all the rehearsals they've been doing in preparation allow his mind to wander a bit, but turning back to the crowd let's him push it to the back of his mind until the song comes to an end. He walks back to the drumkit riser where there are bottles of water sitting for him and takes a moment. He can hear Reggie talking to the crowd, giving him a small reprieve, but he's not concentrating on that as he re-hydrates and uses a small towel to wipe the sweat off his face. His brain is whirling because up until now, the thought of the documentary crew finishing up their work has always been something in distant future. But now, the album is done. The final milestones of the process are about to happen and then they will be saying goodbye to the documentary team that has been with them this past last year. He'll have to say goodbye to Julie, and he really really really doesn't want that.
Alex does a small drum beat, mostly with the kick drum, right next to Luke's ear to let him know he's noticed something is up but to knock it off and get out of his head to continue the show. That's right! He can figure this all out later. He still has time. All he can do right now is engage with the crowd and put on a killer show for them.
The rest of the set goes great. Luke is able to refocus having determined he'll figure out what to do about Julie later, his energy bouncing back up to 120%. He still finds his eyes glancing over to Julie often. Her smiles always widening when she notices, causing his to as well.
Once the final chords ring out, he's breathing hard, grinning from ear to ear as the crowd roars their approval. He pulls the guitar strap over his head and hands his guitar to one their roadies. They wave to the crowd, Reggie and him throwing the remaining picks from their mic stand supply to the fans. Alex comes from behind his kit to toss his drumsticks as well. Luke basks in the adrenaline, the sounds, before flinging his arms around his boy's shoulders and taking a bow together to the continued roar.
Patting them on the back once they are standing up again, they all turn and head offstage to where Julie is waiting with a giant grin on her face, pride lighting up ever feature. Luke doesn't even think, he just makes his way directly over to her. Her grin begins to drop slightly in confusion, not understanding the intense purpose of his stride. He stops in front of her, his brain just barely beginning to catch up with his actions but he's made it here and he's not about to let it talk him out of this. He reaches up and cups her cheek in his palm, hesitating. The confusion leaves her eyes and they begin to sparkle. It can't just be the reflection of the stage lights, can it? Her grin creeps back up and that's gotta be a good sign, so he takes the plunge dipping his head down to kiss her. She immediately pushes up into the kiss, standing on her toes. Her hands drift up his chest like live wires to help her keep balance. He'd thought nothing could beat the high of an amazing performance but this, this moment with Julie, is euphoric in comparison.
Neither of them remember that there is a whole crew of people recording. They both miss the glance between Reggie, Alex, and one of the cameras. The same glance they've missed every time they've gotten lost in conversation while the cameras were rolling. They don't hear the cheers from some of the crew, drowned out by the still roaring crowd, celebrating this turn of events after months of watching the two's feelings for one another grow.
It takes Alex's snapback hitting him in the back of the head for Luke to pull away, his eyes not straying once from hers. He watches as her eyes drift behind him and suddenly her face comes crashing to hide against his chest. Looking behind him, he sees the cameras, and behind them, Ray, and he can't help but feel a smidge embarrassed. Not enough to wipe the smile off his face or dampen the happiness coursing though him right now though. Glancing back down, Julie's curls are all he can see and this time he doesn't have to dream. He gently runs his fingers along them to try and get her to show her face again. She doesn't, but he can feel her smile pressed over his heart and that works for him too.
anyway. the documentary comes out and it does well. but then years later after they get engaged, all of her coworkers show up to the party with giant grins on their faces
and Ray interrupts the festivities to announce he has a surprise for the couple.
they are presented with a high quality documentary of the beginnings of their relationship. WITH interviews.
there are even milestones from personal cameras. not just from that beginning time, but from other moments throughout their relationship
they are in love. everyone knew it was happening. and they are super grateful getting to watch it happen all over again
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yoonia · 2 years
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This Festa dinner has made me realise just how much I love them and I’m feeling a whole lot. I’ll always be grateful for the privilege I’ve found myself in for having to watch them grow from their debut days until they become the group of men they are today. I love how honest they have always been and how they have always been so willing to be open about everything they are facing by sharing them with us. 
While it’s bittersweet to see a huge change coming, I’ve always known that this moment will come where they will be facing the world and building their future as 7 adult men instead of simply as a whole group. I hope I can still be here always to watch they grow and to support them with whatever is coming. :’) 
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heartbreak-sandwich · 5 months
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SORRY ONE SEC I'M FLATLINING SOMOENE HAS ME ALL FUCKED SIDEWAYS WITH THE ANONS IN THE BEST WAY I GOTTA GO SCREAM IN THE STREET BEOFRE I ANSWER THIS JUST HANG TIGHT GUYS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK HOLY FUCK SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WOW
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chappellrroan · 2 months
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it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames
#preacher's daughter both family tree songs#how she says in family tree “heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before”#and western nights “i would hold the gun if you asked me to but if you love me like you say you do will you ask me to?”#the whole house in nebraska song UGH#the outro of hard times i am tired of you still tied to me bleeding whenever you want too tired to move to tired to leave#american teenager gracie's cover i love you so so so so much i do it for daddy and i do it for dale i am doing what i want DAMN i am doing#it well#ptolemaea that stop scream i am the face of love's rage blessed be the daughters of cain bound to suffering eternal through sins of their#fathers commited long before their conception that whole outro in general#i tried to be good am i no good? am i no good? am i no good?....i just wanted to be yours? am i yours? am i yours?...if i am turning in you#stomach and making you feel sick am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? is just SO AGH#also god loves you but not enough to save you I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME#we know how it goes the more it hurts the less it shows but i feel like they all know and that's why i can never come back home and i spent#my life watching it go by from the sidelines and god i have tried but i think it's about time i put up a fight#and the instrumental songs their production is so so good#anyways yeah now i feel better if anyone is reading till here go listen to it thanks <3#it's great for people with family issues#v.txt
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Love characterising nishikiyama as a booze hound drug hound meth addict high every day body mass 75% alcohol hands constantly shaking literally spacing out while driving fifty over the speed limit using elderly folk as speedbumps one hand on the wheel and one hand free to do more drugs and coming into work while functionally deaf and blind and he is still leagues more competent at his job than kiryu
#Yakuza loveblog#i dont talk about nishikiyama enough because im kazamapilled and hate him a little bit but im also kiryupilled and love him so much so you#see my problem? like i adore when nishiki is just. better in every way than kiryu and nobody ever sees that because theyre all too busy#sucking kiryus cock like okay nishiki had the rest of his life planned out when he was twenty and he was an extremely successful criminal#and getting himself noticed in many many circles then kiryu steps outside and gets into a street fight immediately and the entire tojo clan#surrounds him to throw cash at him like nishiki was actually doing so well for himself before his life was ruined. nothing is his fault#like i love just accepting that nishiki has one hell of a substance abuse problem and nobody cares enough about him to talk to him about it#and kiryu thinks its normal because hes the only one who can see that nishikis doing some great work out there so he must be doing#everything right. inconceivable that nishiki has any sort of ‘problem’ hes the real screwup and kiryu knows he makes life harder for himself#but he refuses to change because hes convinced that thats the only thing hes good at. like i believe that nishiki has a coke snorting#mechanic in game like harry db and without his coke buff he cant do as much damage like with it his output is on par with kiryus whos just#been blessed since birth by the violence gods. anyway kiryu is the only person in the world who thinks that nishiki is great do you get it#nishiki has lived his entire life in kiryus shadow and he doesnt care that kiryu has a natural charisma that he will never have. he has to#get out there every single day networking and socialising and hustling and nonstop landing interviews with cool magazines to get his name#out in the world while kazama takes kiryu out and drags him by the elbow to meet people like this is my son kiryu who has every disease and#everyone claps and cheers like i cannot stress enough how on top of the game nishiki is compared to kiryu. he has a car. kiryu doesnt even#have his own lighter. they are not on the same playing field and yet nishikis always trailing behind him because opportunity is always#knocking at kiryus doorstep whether he likes it or not and nishiki gets fed scraps and nothing else and hes the one with ambition he wants#the view on top and most importantly he wanted his brother there with him but nobody ... likes him ... nobody likes nishiki nobodys in his#corner he onky had kiryu and when he lost him it was quite literally him against the world. it always made me laugh how at the end of yk1#harukas paying her respects at nishikis grave when the only time he ever cared about her was because he wanted her little pendant and he#(actually fucked how alone nishiki was he didnt even have his own fucking men to rely on he was basically working alone with someone he knew#was using him like ??? he was fucking desperate) anyway i really love to think that kiryu being nishikis only friend and the last person in#the world who thought kindly of him (barring like ... kashiwagi) was grieving terribly over his death and haruka being a sensitive and#sweet little girl took the initiative to ask about nishiki and i think kiryu would tell her stories every night of the kind of stuff he and#nishikiyama would get up to when they were her age. he would tell her how amazing nishiki was and how he always looked out for him how he#took care of his sister and how he would always be the one to remind them of impending birthdays and the like. nishiki cared about the#little things .. and he made kiryu want to care about them too but theres just something different between them because nishikis always#been a better person than him .. and he would tell haruka in a voice that sounded like he was begging her to understand that nishiki wasnt a#bad person.. though he did bad things he was a good man and he still wishes with all his heart that he could have done more to save him ...
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mercutiotakethewheel · 9 months
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afjaktdlyxts oh my goddddd hes going back to the christians!!! sir sir leave your cult pleaseeee i know its hard but like please for me!!! if i can so can you!!! come on dude just like last season when you remembered how much you loved food and books and music and heaven doesnt have that!!! theres no nightingales in heaven aziraphale come on!!
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henpeckedho · 9 months
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So, like...I have finally reached the point in my Trauma Healing Journey when I'm discovering that while I am still a bit mentally ill and very neurodivergent I'm nowhere near as bad as I was/thought I was.
Turns out a lot of the worst of my mental demons was just bad living situations.
And that is a truly baffling and wonderful discovery at 35 years old. That I'm still mostly okay. The wiring inside will never be normal but I'm mostly okay. And I'm finally in a place where I'm getting better.
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groupwest · 2 years
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hit the freaking motherload…
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Dr's be like " GooD News! We can't find anything wrong with you! So keep an eye on your symptoms and come back if anything changes! :D"
.... i guess i'll just keep collapsing/nearly passing out whilst feeling exhausted all the time and being unable to string more than three thoughts together with muscles that ache from sitting and being unable to walk more than 10 mins without getting out of breath then .... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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O_O <- they have just remembered one of the outlandish scenarios they'd predicted during exile arc
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mieczyhale · 1 year
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i typed out these tags in my last reblog but it didn’t / doesn’t feel right to attach my personal... not opinion really, but also kinda?? i guess?? to it. so a sc of the tags are going under the read more
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