I'm feeling mildly blasphemous, so let's muppet-cast the bible.
Non-negotiable: Animal is Jon the Baptists. "RE-PENT, RE-PENT, RE-PENT!"
Jesus is the only Human.
Sweetums is that guy who was possessed by Legion, and then they were cast out into 'pigs' (it's the chicken-girls wearing fake pig snouts, since pigs are actual people in this world)
Up for debate: Statler and Waldorf are Anas and Caiaphas.
I am taking suggestions for more. Also, I think Sam the Eagle should be Pilate.
Obviously this is an adorable bit but I'm so struck by how different this is from so many little kid shows today like.......the muted colors. no background noise. no sound effects. you can literally hear Jim Henson breathing between his lines. Ernie is talking very slowly, meandering, letting the kids digest the info. it's a full minute before you get the payoff of it all. man
when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw
The plot of Macbeth was acted out by the Muppets. Miss Piggy as Lady Macbeth is the best thing I have ever witnessed and the only thing I really remember from it.
Kermit the Frog's children's book For Every Child, A Better World was dedicated to the memory of Audrey Hepburn. The book was a collaboration with the United Nations as a fundraising effort.
Source:
Gikow, Louise, and Ellen Weiss. For Every Child, A Better World. Golden Press, 1993. https://archive.org/details/foreverychildbet0000giko/mode/2up.