Making sense of it
(for someone who’s struggling to make sense of it all)
Why?
It’s the classic question of a three-year old. But it doesn’t stop there. Why is something we never stop asking.
There’s something about us that just wants to make sense of things. To know how they work and what they mean. To have it all figured out.
Sometimes we do a decent job of making sense of things – after the fact. But even that’s not 100%.
One of the hardest things you and I will ever do is make sense of things, while we’re in the middle of them.
And it seems like the more difficult, the more uncertain we are about things the stronger our desire to make sense of it becomes.
It’s almost like a downward spiral, one that keeps accelerating into itself as it goes. Until we’re more and more anxious, more and more upset. And literally desperate to understand.
The disciples that Jesus came to in today’s Gospel? That’s exactly where they were.
Whether it’s the disciples back then or us now, left to ourselves, we’re just going to keep making ourselves more anxious, more upset, more distracted. Unless we stop and let God step in, to break the spiral.
Which is why St. Francis de Sales’ classic advice couldn’t be more timely. Or more needful.
“The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day.
Either he will shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.”
Today's Readings
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Heart of reason (first pic guy) and heart in hell (Ryan) known to panic at last.
‘Mate, you ain’t been around so don’t tell me what i am’
A scary reality brought in from the upstages of heartbreak. To a heart, that is hell but to a mind, that is hatred upon heart become. The guy in blue is an asshole cuz he doesn’t like his life so he’d rather kill me but he did it to Ryan to sabotage his life in heaven because he knows about the Doctor too well too strongly to kill off River in real life by heartache pure reason when heartache should be formed in happiness, solution to River’s heartache is being herself in ‘hell’ to Anson’s heaven.
Yaz is inside River’s paradox. Also known as the intended heartbreaker of a heartbreaker (heart in hell) River’s brother shows up after she wakes up to warn her in real life.
River’s brother takes away his heart in the form of a finger to his ear (to prevent him from listening to your life)
Finger absorbs hate
Chibnalls reason to decline heart is now. ‘Tahira’ is Anson and he speaks in a British accent in Syria. Geographical issue to contain River in her spot cuz she is actually the writer of the show cuz reality exists beneath her, she is God.
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“That’s the trouble with you, Tanaqui,” Duck said to me. “You always have to have things in order. You’re as bad as Hern.”
I think Duck is right, though I did not realize it before. If I cannot get a thing straight in my head, it offends me, like a piece of weaving that has gone wrong—like Robin’s awful blue skirt."
Tanaqui, Diana Wynne Jones, "The Spellcoats"
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
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hard 2 explain but. barbie movie is kind of like astrology. if you're normal yes we can have a conversation about how it's def not the epitome of feminist praxis but was fun & largely harmless. if ur a weirdo about it & use it as an excuse to mock women: congratulations it's now my single favorite movie and i love it and nothing is wrong with it literally at all and it's actually better than any movie ever made
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Jeff Buckley is the most potent heart in the 90's due to the way he carries heart and mind forward to the way his works illuminate philosophy very much the gender coming back to men losing a heart and women losing a heart.
men losing a heart is where they were popularised in the 80's. Men losing a heart is where pop were a little too much overboard over why or how hearts were supposed to be made, hearts were definitely made to break but a broken hearted man can actually fix it for you hence why the overall vibe of the 80's had the 'dont stop partying' energy to it that it made people of today (10's and 20's) bring back the element of what their parents have had because of how easy going life was that captured why and how the world came to be if you have heard it coming back to you in the form of fashion.
women losing a heart came into the world itself breaking apart cuz what actually happened at that time was that Jeff talks about art being misused by the conditioning of women being told what and why they do what they do to make 'good use' of humanity instead of appreciating it cuz people pleasing was actually more prominent there and what happened there is that the world ended when the life of a heartbreaker began with hearts in hell. the 90's were not even there for many who remember it, they were there ONLY for people to actually embrace the world that was meant for them meaning kids born from there embraced cultures in the form of cartoons. 90's were made only there. Fiction created in the 90's are prominent to the world built right now in the 20's. Women losing a heart is a staple to major artists like Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Billie Eillish etc. talks about a events of how they were not actually recognising their worth but unbeknownst to them, they were making people live in a huge cycle of events based on their own lives being made from lyrical attitudes into being that made people grow more tired and tired and tired into believing in a dream that made no senseless value hence why society got exposed to demonic attitudes to life that did not make them self-reflect their worthiness back to higher entitlement, creating a cesspool of heart hatred and self glorified heart in hell.
that's the emotional end times for you ;)
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