Jevil doodles 💥💥

I'm craving peach rings... peach rings...

Joel full well knowing Pearl’s task and yet choosing to purposefully guess the wrong one as a show of good faith means everything to me

fascinating to watch how hozier speaking Irish in his new music is making some people: 1. fetishise him further and/or 2. make 'fun' jokes about gaeilge/gaelic/'''garlic'''' bc like. babes. i can guarantee you neither of those actions are separable from the lingering impacts of colonialism.

i have thought in great detail about coriolanus and sejanus, and whether or not coriolanus ever really liked sejanus. i think that the novel/movie are purposefully constructed to make this ambiguous, but i prefer to veer on the side of "yes, he did."

coriolanus' way of loving people was...lacking, to say the least. even with tigris, he thought awful, mean things about her, but it was evident he cared very much for her. the problem with coriolanus was not that he couldn't love -- it was that he could not love without first being assured that his investment would yield positive results for him. at least, he could not readily admit to himself that he was loving until he knew it was going to work out for him.

his character is very succinctly summed up by sejanus, when he tells him, "I remember that from school, watching you watch other people. Pretending you weren't. And choosing the moments you weighed in so carefully" (397). without fully knowing the totality of it, sejanus got it all too right: coriolanus took people in, measured them out, decided what they meant to him, and weighed in when he thought it'd benefit him. coriolanus was calculated in all things, most of all in love—a thing he knew made you vulnerable.

but that's not to say what coriolanus said to himself was the exact same thing as what he felt. if it was, i do not believe he would've done half the things he had done for sejanus--even given the prospect of reward in the end. this is part of what makes coriolanus descent into evil so heartbreaking: a part of him was good. he did want for connection and comfort, even if he had a real fucked up way of going about getting it. coriolanus was a dog that bit without fully knowing why; it was a protective instinct he used, because so much of his life had been filled with loss already.

in the book, after coriolanus snuck his father's handkerchief with lucy gray's scent into the tank of snakes, he went to sejanus' house. this is an incredible detail that so many people tend to overlook when they talk about coriolanus and sejanus' friendship. the beginning of the chapter reads:

"What had he done? What on earth had he done? His heart raced as he blindly turned down one street and then another, trying to make sense of his actions. He couldn't think clearly but had the dreadful feeling he'd crossed some line that could not be uncrossed" (287).

we start this chapter with a frenzied, rattled coriolanus, one terribly afraid of what he had just done and the consequences this action might have later. he was scared and isolated, and he didn't know what to do. a little further on, collins writes: "His feet had carried him far from home, but he realized the Plinth apartment was just a few minutes away. Why not pop in?" (288).i find this construction of words to be fascinating, especially in relation to coriolanus--a character we have come to known as calculated and precise, even in moments when he has to think on his feet. one could argue that during this part of the book, and in this state, it makes sense that coriolanus might wander that far from his home absent-mindedly. it shows how out of touch with himself he had become, and just how much the act he had just committed disorientated him. but i think it was more than that. i think coriolanus wanted to go to the plinth's house, that he was seeking comfort after he had done something incredibly dangerous (something, arguably, that sejanus might have done), and he could not admit it to himself. and his original intention had been to see sejanus, but sejanus was asleep.

the fact that collins wrote "his feet had carried him" and "he realized" is so brilliant. i’ve got lots of opinions about why she chose to write the book in a third person point of view. one of the reasons i think she did it has to do with the fact that coriolanus was distancing himself from himself--shedding culpability through phrases such as these, especially in moments like this. coriolanus did love sejanus, but he simply could not admit it to himself because sejanus was not a safe or wise investment to make. coriolanus refused to give credence to his need for him, and it ended up killing the boy in the long run.

More Modern Reincarnation AU thoughts

"So what brought you to town?" Buck asks.

"Ah," Bucky stares down at his coffee. The ice has already started melting in the late summer heat. He fiddles with it, swirling it around. "It's a bit complicated."

"How so?" Buck leans in.

"A bit too complicated for a first meeting," Bucky says with a sad smile. "I don't wanna scare you off when I just met you now do I Buck?"

"Well, I don't scare so easy." Buck reaches out placing a hand on Bucky's own. "But I won't force you."

"Thanks," Bucky squeezes Buck's. "But, that doesn't mean we can't talk about you."

"Ha," Buck breathes out a laugh. He still hasn't pulled his hand away. "I see how it is. Dodge the question, so you can repeat it. You turned the tables on me real quick."

"Just curious," Bucky laughed. Buck stared at him wide-eyed. "Don't get a lot of boys telling me I look like an old friend from Wisconsin, and I'm curious about the one who did."

"Well," Buck draws out the word. He still hasn't taken his eyes off of Bucky, and it's hard work fighting a blush with those blue eyes taking in his every feature. "I'm a student at Georgetown. Trying for my PhD."

"Wow," Bucky pushes his glasses up. "In what?"

"Interplanetary physics." Buck says it with a smile. "Bit nerdy, right?"

"Not at all!" Bucky leans in affronted that someone would dare say that. "Who told you that? They're just jealous."

✨️

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this," Bucky laughs. Shakes his head and starts to pace because he really can't explain it, and it drives him up the wall. "There's just something different about you? I think."

Bucky pauses, shakes his head again as if that'll clear his head. Buck hasn't stopped staring at him.

"You're something else, Buck." Bucky stops pacing to just stare right back at Buck. He doesn't do that very often, stare back at Buck. When he does, a weight presses down, down, down on his chest until he can scarcely breathe. Buck never looks away, but Bucky always has to.

✨️

"Why do you go by the name Egan?" Buck asks him one day while they're slaving over textbooks and assignments in another coffee shop. Bucky found this one online a week ago. The lemon tarts are divine, but the coffee is so so. Though that may be because he chose a lavender oat milk latte instead of his usual caramel macchiato. Sue him, the sign next to the tarts had said they paired well together. Bucky shrugs, not lifting his eyes from his reading. Buck has to tap him on the nose to get a better answer.

"Easier, I guess." Bucky pushes up his glasses with one finger. Buck still stares at him as if every motion or movement is brand new, like he's one of the stars Buck adores so much. Bucky still can't stare back for too long. "No one expects someone with my family name to change it, so I can fly under the radar. Live my life without the burden of all those eyes."

I have SO MANY thoughts about this AU! Someone please take them out of my head, I need to focus on England Arc for my a/b/o fic series!

born to slay. forced to write essays.

To add to the discussion about plagiarization and misinformation, one thing I know that can contribute to complacency is how much time and effort it can take to fact check everything you watch. That's daunting for most people, let alone people who don't have as much experience with it or who deal with disabilities and executive dysfunction.

But there are some things you can do to minimize damages that are easier to manage on a more individual basis.

You don't have to necessarily fact check every single thing every creator says in every video in order to make sure they're 100% legit every time. I know not everyone has the mental bandwidth to do that sort of thing constantly. Generally it's okay to just practice some mindfulness and not blindly trust someone if you haven't vetted their claims personally.

What you can do is fact check yourself. Don't repeat stuff you hear from a video as if it is a fact unless you have looked into it yourself first to confirm that what the video said about it is true and that their sources are good. And if you source someone make sure you've vetted them specifically and checked their own sources on that particular topic or bit of information (and check that they even HAVE sources to begin with and aren't just copying their sources verbatim). You can't source every video essay you ever watch or check every single one for plagiarism, but you can source yourself and what you say, and make sure you're not spreading bullshit or citing the wrong person. If you find that you don't have the energy to do even that much in a given moment, then just keep the information in question to yourself for the time being until you do have the energy to verify it.

And some stuff that's generally just good practice: if it's a topic that you're particularly interested in, it's a good idea to seek out more than one video about it from more than one creator. The more diverse your sources of info on the topic the better, especially if you seek out more than just the popular stuff. Get a broader picture of it from a wide variety of people from a wide variety of demographics. It's a lot easier to spot stuff like plagiarism if you're looking at more than just one or two channels, and even if you don't spot it, because they're often good at hiding it, you at least can make sure that you're giving more obscure creators the same attention as well instead of only defaulting to the most popular wide-spread creators and content.

Seeking out more than one type of medium is usually a good idea as well. I know reading stuff like written papers or essays or books on a topic can be difficult for some people, but if you can manage it even just occasionally then branching out every once in a while is still worth doing because it gets you out of one particular information sphere and into another, reducing the chances of an echo chamber effect. If you can't bring yourself to do that much homework on a topic, then again remember to keep in mind that your knowledge about it is limited and could be wrong, and don't spread that info without doing your own research first. Videos are not inherently a bad way to learn about stuff, papers or books can be wrong, and plagiarized, and badly sourced, and can spread misinformation too, my main point is that it's good to avoid having your information come to you through a single choke point if you can help it.

It can be exhausting trying to hold every online creator accountable on an individual basis, I get that, so I don't expect everyone to extensively peer review every channel they ever watch, but at the end of the day you can at least make sure to try and hold yourself accountable first and foremost.

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

Love when Aang and Zuko get those contrasting storylines. It takes me back to being in a college lit class, and I have an essay to slam out by tomorrow. This time it’s Aang trying to undo Jet’s brainwashing by the Dai Li versus Iroh trying to convince Zuko to settle down and make a life in Ba Sing Se. Here’s two takes in one episode on the same fuckin theme, I could write 2,000 words about that out with plenty of time to spare for not writing any of that and instead dicking around in tumblr as inside I scream and scream and scream at myself oh my god why are you on tumblr write your essay write your essay hmm a link to a little game where you dress up dolls you say

I didn't like the new movie, so instead I drew fanart of the comic version of The Game, which in my opinion is SO much better

college is fun because i just wrote half a final on nbc hannibal and a full paragraph was about how stabbing is romantic, actually

I think what kills me about Jiang Cheng antis is that a lot of their talking points reek of anti survivor rhetoric. As someone who is a survivor and has done a lot of advocacy for victims and survivors of power based personal violence, I want to be the first to inform you that the narrative of the “pretty survivor” (which is steeped in cishet normative, white supremacist, and ableist ideas) is an extremely rare case. Trauma survivors are rarely pretty. The Wei Wuxian’s of the world are incredibly uncommon. 

Trauma--especially intense, horrific trauma like what Jiang Cheng went through--often leads to intense issues of anger and hatred. It makes you deeply emotional and can often lead to you becoming unstable. Jiang Cheng lost his entire family and community in the span of a few years. He didn’t have access to therapy (something that literally anyone would need to heal from that), he had to rebuild his entire sect, likely had to fight an uphill battle in order to be a significant part of Jin Ling’s life, all while cleaning up the mess that Wei Wuxian left behind.

This is not to hate on Wei Wuxian, he’s my third favorite character (after Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji) and I love him deeply, but he left behind a legacy that Jiang Cheng had to clean up. Whether or not he realized this would happen, Wei Wuxian created a cultivation path (gui dao/ghost cultivation) that is extremely dangerous and horrific. While I still don’t know if I believe that Jiang Cheng killed every demonic cultivator he came across, I don’t know that it was necessarily a bad thing that he did kill them. We’ve talked a lot in the cxc server about gui dao and demonic cultivation and just how much it harms the mind and body. Wei Wuxian is the exception to the rule in having such control over it and even he eventually succumbed to it. If demonic cultivators are causing great harm, then a cultivators job is to stop that harm and the source of it. That may mean killing the demonic cultivator. I think people get mixed up when (I think it was Jingyi) said that Jiang Cheng kills the wrong person. I believe it was @twilightarc-gm who said that “wrong” doesn’t imply innocent but rather the fact that the person isn’t Wei Wuxian. We know that Jiang Cheng spent thirteen years trying to find Wei Wuxian and when he does find him, he doesn’t kill him despite having literally every reason to.

Like idk y’all, if the guy that got my entire clan wiped out, my sect burned down, and caused the deaths of my sister and her husband died and came back from dead, I wouldn’t just threaten him with a dog and yell at him. I would kill him. But he doesn’t he has every opportunity to in multiple instances after confirming that it’s Wei Wuxian, but he never does. He seems more interested in dragging Wei Wuxian home (literally stating that he’s going to bring Wei Wuxian home to Lotus Pier to kneel before his parents’ graves). Like that doesn’t imply that he’s going to kill Wei Wuxian, but rather make him repent. 

I think it’s telling that despite a lot of Jiang Cheng’s hurt and pain, he still chooses to not severely hurt or kill Wei Wuxian, it would be within his right to do so, but in the end after it’s all over, he let’s Wei Wuxian go. He doesn’t tell Wei Wuxian that he sacrificed himself for him, because he knew that Wei Wuxian would feel guilty and obligated to him, just like Wei Wuxian knew Jiang Cheng would feel guilty and obligated. That to me shows a survivor choosing to break the cycle of hurt and pain and I have to question why Jiang Cheng antis so often choose to ignore the side of him that does love Wei Wuxian (it’s up to the viewer whether they see that love as romantic or platonic), enough so to let him go and not burden him with pain.

Jiang Cheng’s story and character arc is at it’s core about trauma, survival, and rising above dire circumstances despite the odds. He attempts the impossible and manages to succeed in it. And to ignore that is a disservice to his character, survivors of trauma, and the effort MXTX put into creating such a complex and interesting character.

I’M ILL

IT’S A GUSTAV REFERENCE AGAIN—

“The Kiss represents the mystical union of spiritual and erotic love and the merging of the individual with the eternal cosmos”

NOBODY TOUCH ME

i mean it when i say we've gotta bring back askblogs. bring back making character chat posts with poor choice text colors over random backgrounds. bring back blogs dedicated to what outfits you think characters would wear.

fandom is an ecosystem, not a numbers game. these types of blogs/posts/etc still exist in concept, because people still want to make them and they're a great way to get your thoughts of an idea out in a simple format, but most people make them on like tiktok or instagram reels and that's where the problem lies. Those videos don't go anywhere. The format doesn't allow for the discussion to spread through the community and they're less likely to be engaged with in general. And to make them most people have to either show their face or figure out editing software, so the barrier to entry is higher (editing) and/or they have to forfeit an amount of privacy.

those types of posts/blogs are the first rung of the ecosystem. they're the perfect environment for younger members of the fandom to begin safely interacting with the larger community and putting their own thoughts and ideas out there. roleplay is the other major spot for that and those communities are diminishing as well, honestly (if you know of an rp forum board site, cherish it. and if you can make one, make one). they allow younger fans to begin engaging with the source material on a different/deeper level, but still at a very low barrier to entry, and begin conversations with other fans, which also helps them build skills which in turn may encourage them to pursue other avenues within the fandom (fic writing, other formats of askblog - which itself usually leads to art, cosplay, also fic writing, etc). Without those places to build those skills, they might feel discouraged from trying to begin when surrounded by curated people who have built their skills up for years.

And those conversations they foster also in turn help the community, by offering ideas to artists or fic writers to extrapolate on or building community jokes. And that text/blog format specifically is extremely beneficial, because it allows younger members of the fandom to remain anonymous and keep their privacy without concerning themselves with having any platform or having anything attached to them (very important for young fans figuring themselves out and navigating online community spaces for the first time, since they can remove themselves from spaces easily if they decide they don't like it and they're protected, rather than PUTTING THEIR FACE ON THE INTERNET). And those posts they make will spread a lot more into the community since they're in a significantly easier format to be reposted (few people are gonna be reposting tons of random short-form videos versus spamming their instagrams with reposts of 10 random fandom images yoinked from tumblr, or reposting to pinterest or something). Like, don't repost art, at the VERY least don't repost without credit, but also I am not ignorant to the fact that my art is not just the first google image result for "pjo pride" and related searches, but also the 4th, the 6th, the 9th, the 10th, the 11th, etc etc., and pops up in the search results before the official ReadRiordan does simply because people reposted my work more (most with credit, thankfully).

For fandom to be a community, it needs to perpetuate itself. There needs to be engagement with one another and conversation. If that bottom rung is cut off, then new fans won't be able to grow into the other niches of the fandom, and the fandom will be solely reliant on the source material and die out extremely quickly, and there won't be a community. There's no conversation! There's no reason to stay beyond the original material! But if you don't have points of entry for new fans, they won't have any way to build the skills needed to move into those niches, or engage with the community in a healthy way.

tl;dr: Bring back askblogs and character-based text post blogs. They are vital to fandom ecosystem.

But honestly i do judge people who use chatgpt for their college work. Literally if you chose to study something, why would you use ai for your work. If you chose something you want to study, doesn't it feel like a waste to not do your own research and work for essays and the like.