Today starts day one of two days of hell. Please send some good vibes our way and protect us from shitty drivers. Thank you 🥲

Day 10: Dukexiety

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 10: You are born with a birthmark, similar to a tattoo, that is shared by your soulmate.

Content warnings: allusions to past suicidal thoughts, just bad mental health past in general, vague bullying, swimming pools, past isolation, minor injury (broken ribs), general anxiety and self deprecation.

Word count: 3.9k

I was very low on time, and very exhausted from work, so I tried something new! I first discovered the concept of ‘bullet fics’ from @illogicallyinclined ‘s hockey au, GO CHECK IT OUT!!! (It’s living in my head rent free for a couple months now)

Virgil, Patton, Logan, and Roman have been friends for as long as they can remember. The first three met at a neighborhood barbecue when they were just a couple years old, and since they all live on the same block, became each other’s go to play buddies. They all stuck together in their first years of school together, the unbreakable trio, and then they met Roman. Or, Roman was pulled into their clutches and was therefore part of the group now. Patton saw him getting bullied across the playground and ran in to help, and now Roman is ‘eternally in their debt’. But they like him, so his extravagance is okay. 

They hung out constantly, all throughout middle and highschool, and they graduated together. It was a big moment for all of them; Patton, who almost got left a grade behind several times (his dyslexia went undiagnosed for several years and he was simply categorized as ‘dumb’), Virgil, who almost didn’t make it due to a mental health crisis, Logan, who was pressured heavily by his parents to move up a grade and had to fight tooth and nail to stay with his friends, and Roman, who’s bullying problems didn’t exactly lessen through the years, and was more than relieved to be leaving that behind. 

That summer, they pledge (mostly by Roman’s pleading) to try and do something fun every day. While Logan says this is improbable and Virgil groans at the thought of spending every day socializing, Patton is excited for the idea and “it’s two against two so you have to at least try!”

“That logic doesn’t make sense-” “Shut it, teach, just let us have this.”

So far, they’ve gone to the amusement park just out of town, gone to the park too many times to count, visited their local arcade that they hadn’t even stepped foot into since middle school, and tie-dyed a variety of clothing items in Patton’s backyard. Today, Patton is forcing them all to go to the pool, despite Logan claiming that they’re “feces infested, germ nesting grounds” and Virgil’s argument that “he burns like an unwatched pot of milk, how can you expect this from me”, Patton’s little puppy eyes do them all in.

Unfortunately, just as they’re leaving for the pool, Roman gets a call. At first it’s civil, and then his voice raises, and then he’s hanging up and throwing his phone onto his seat from where he’s standing next to the open car door. Angrily, he tells his friends that his mom got called into work and his dad’s on a business trip, so they need to take his brother with them.

At first, this raises some confusion.

“I was not under the impression that you had a little brother.”

“How old is he? Either way, I say, the more the merrier!”

Virgil is not thrilled at the idea of babysitting, since kids generally don’t like him, but he doesn’t voice his displeasure. 

Roman has to admit, with much embarrassment, that it’s actually his twin, who is just so chaotically irresponsible that he has lost Home Alone Privileges. He’s broken the TV, accidentally started fires, and lost their dog one too many times and his parents said no more. 

So he drives all the way back to his house, the three friends crammed into the back seat of his two door sedan (because the seats are A Pain to raise and lower and it makes more sense to give said brother the front seat instead of rearranging when they get him), grumbling under his breath about his stupid brother, stupid work, stupid stupid stupid-

Virgil is apt to agree with him, because if being around his three closest friends is enough interaction to mentally exhaust him, adding a new person to the mess is so much worse. He’s generally unexcited to meet this new person… until they pull up to the driveway.

And holy heck. 

This man is GORGEOUS. 

It takes a second for him to realize it’s Roman’s brother, because despite his first assumption, the two are not identical. They’re very similar, obviously related, for sure, but they are surprisingly easy to tell apart, and it’s not just because of the silver streak in the brother’s hair.

Which he should not find as hot as he does.

After Roman insists said brother does need to go get a bathing suit and no you can not go swimming in your jeans, he jumps into the passenger seat and, with as much energy as Roman has at Full Potential, introduces himself as Remus to the backseat audience. 

Patton and Logan both say small hello’s, but Virgil is just stuck.

Dear lord. Princey, why have you been hiding him from me?

When they get to the pool, Virgil makes a complete fool of himself getting out of the car. He trips on his seatbelt, landing directly in Remus’ arms, and looks up to see this devil man grinning at him with all the hubris of a greek god. Before he can say anything, Virgil pushes himself up and rolls his eyes (all while internally screaming) and walks away, joining Patton and Logan where they are just entering the main gate. 

He can’t help it; when in proximity of cuteness, his emergency mode is “be a dick”.

But it only gets worse from there.

When Virgil has an umbrella properly set up above a chair so he can save his skin from the sun (“I burn like unwatched milk on a stove. I’m not going in.”) and is comfortably situated with his phone and iced coffee, Remus steps in front of him to take his shirt off. 

He’s pretty sure Remus didn’t even mean to. It just… happened to be directly in his line of sight. 

As soon as the shirt is above his head, Virgil chokes on his drink, squirting iced coffee out of his nose and going into a coughing fit. Patton rubs his back while Roman tries not to laugh (and fails miserably), all while Remus is just watching him. Confused. (Logan is in the change rooms, because he insists on not wearing his bathing suit unless he is actively about to swim)

There’s more than just the sun issue that prevents Virgil from swimming. While his friend’s soulmarks are relatively small (Roman has a little one on his neck, Logan and Patton have a shared one just above their ankles), Virgil’s is a huge splotch that covers his entire side, reaching from just above his top rib to where his waistband usually lies. It’s all squiggles and lumps; Virgil once compared it to a storm cloud, but the lightning streaks were tentacles. It’s all in all, just… A Mess. And he doesn’t really like it. No one he’s ever met has had a soulmark like that, and he hates standing out.

When Remus takes off his shirt, in all his muscled glory, Virgil can’t miss the matching soulmark that trails down Remus’ side. It’s his, no doubt about it, but… that can’t be right, can it? Remus is so… full of life, dangerous, the epitome of chaotic; he’s everything Virgil is not. More so, he’s terrified of what Remus must think of him. He’s nothing special, he’s just an anxious ball of angst. What if he’s disappointed in who the universe decided to stick him with? 

After he’s done choking on iced coffee, and Logan is back from the change room, he realizes Remus is long gone, in the deep end of the pool trying to gather as many foam noodles as he can. They check that Virgil is alright, and when he merely gives them a shaky thumbs up, they take it at face value and dive in. Except Logan, who uses the steps like a mature adult, you children. 

He lets the rest of his coffee sit in the sun, until the sun melts all the ice cubes and it’s lukewarm to touch and overall, just gross, because suddenly he has no appetite. Yeah, this guy is gorgeous and he’s hopelessly gay for him, but... soulmate? That’s a lot for anyone to take in, much less someone with forty seven different kinds of anxiety. /j

If Virgil was uneasy taking his shirt off before, he sure as hell isn’t doing it now. No matter how much Patton and Roman plead with him, he stays glued to his chair, eyes flickering from his friends playing Marco Polo to watching his soulmate Remus. He’s turned the pool noodles into a giant raft and is trying to balance on it, like an absolute idiot.

An extremely good looking idiot. 

Virgil can’t help but notice that… he’s all alone. Roman, Patton, and Logan barely even throw him the occasional glance, much less invite him to hang out with them in the water. Worse than that, he seems relatively fine with it. It could just be that he doesn’t want to intrude on his brother’s friend group, but Remus doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to have those boundaries. Which kind of insinuates that he’s used to being alone, and Virgil can’t help but empathize. 

He notices it a lot, actually. The group meeting Remus also coincides with Roman and Virgil becoming more close; less of a frenemy relationship, and more of an actual friendship. Patton is delighted, because this means the three of them get to hang out at Roman’s huge place more often without their constant bickering (because when it got bad at one of their houses, Virgil’s was never more than a ten minute walk away when Roman finally pushed his last button. Here, they were all stuck.)

And every time they go over, he can’t help but notice the loud music coming from Remus’ room, or the man just sitting on the couch watching TV (which he tends to do shirtless, which does not help Virgil at all), or irritating Roman’s parrot. All in all, doing things alone. It strikes a chord in Virgil’s heart, which is something he’d never admit to another person.

Maybe that’s why, in the following week when Roman has the grand idea to go on a mountain hike, Virgil quietly asks if they could invite Remus. At first, Roman is adamant. “He’ll just ruin things, he doesn’t appreciate nature, he’s annoying!” But Patton claims “The more the merrier” and Logan doesn’t have any particular stance, so he begrudgingly invites Remus.

Who very excitedly accepts. 

The trail Roman visited is quite a ways out of town, so they cram back into his tiny car and start the drive. Patton claimed shotgun, so him and Roman have derailed into an animated conversation about cartoons, while Logan just pops in his earbuds and leans his head against the window. For the longest time, Remus and Virgil sit in awkward silence, because neither of them could get a word in edgewise to the front seat conversation even if they tried, and they don’t… really… know what to say… to each other. 

It’s Remus who finally breaks the silence (shocker).

“Roman tells more you’re the one who wanted to invite me.”

“Yeah, well, you seemed lonely. And… I mean, you’re Roman’s brother. Can you really be that bad?”

He means it as a joke, but he sees the light in Remus’ eyes die slightly. The tone of his voice doesn’t falter though, remaining as joyful and quirky as always. 

“I’m a lot more fun than Roman. People just don’t like to see it that way.”

“Setting your kitchen curtains on fire is fun?”

“If you were there, you’d understand!”

And they keep talking, maybe trailing into borderline flirting, for the whole ride. Virgil is surprised at the lack of tenseness in his shoulders, because though Remus is loud and a little unsettling, he is incredibly patient when Virgil has trouble forming his sentences and doesn’t interrupt him when he’s talking; an incredible help to someone with crippling anxiety. Underneath his exterior, he’s actually… incredibly soft? What?

By the time they pull up to the trail, Remus is actually starting to grow on Virgil. Since Patton and Roman are still so into their debate, and Logan seems content listening to his music (or podcast, but who really knows), they continue talking as the hike starts. The shorter boy can’t help but glance at the other every few seconds, seeing their soulmark just peeking past the edge of his baggy tank top. If Remus notices, he says nothing. 

And he learns Remus was bullied a lot through school, just like Roman was, but instead of finding a group that supported him, he broke off as a lone wolf. He came off scary or maybe just a little bit crazy to anyone he tried to befriend, since his social skills were pretty lacking due to disuse and his incredible lack of filter, so he learned early that staying alone hurt less. And in that time, he just became more and more… Like That… because he literally never had peers to mature with. 

The hike is a long one. Remus is pretty eager to spill his guts, probably since he was never able to before, so Virgil feels obligated to do the same. He tells Remus about his anxiety, about his mental health issues during school, about his home life and his hobbies, and the fact that there are more people around just fades into the background. It could as well be just them, and Virgil starts to wish it was. 

So of course, that’s when everything goes to shit.

A mountain biker comes ripping down the path, too quick to even process, and Virgil is caught off guard. Of course, he’s not walking near the edge of the path, because he has some shred of common sense, but the bike speeding by him causes him to flinch and stumble to the side; an instinctual reaction. Except his instincts decided to not remember until the last second that he’s at the edge of the trail.

It’s almost like happening in slow motion, his foot goes over the edge, and he doesn’t realize what’s about to happen until his other foot is already off the ground, ready to take that next step back, and he’s falling. Luckily (as lucky as one can be in this situation), it’s not a straight drop, just a decently long, steep slope that’s essentially just a bunch of rocks and weeds. 

He hears his friends scream his name, sees a hand fly out to catch him, and it just snags the edge of his jacket before he’s freefalling for a split moment. One heart stopping, never ending, eternal and all too short moment of weightlessness where he twists his body, hoping to try and brace himself, and then he meets the slope.

Hard.

His breath leaves him in a wheeze and he distinctly hears a loud snap. Through his pain addled brain, he tries to stop his slide further down by grabbing anything; rocks, roots, dirt. It’s useless.

He stops naturally, on a small ledge several meters from the top before the slope continues. For a moment, he can only lay there, trying to breathe through the intense pain flaring through him pretty much everywhere, not to mention the sheer levels of pure panic numbing his thoughts. He stares at the clouds, watching them as they float by, each breath spreading fire through his torso but at the same time strangely numb.

And then, “VIRGIL!”

His eyes shoot open (wait, when did he close them?) to see Remus’ concerned face above his. If the messied state of his outfit is any indication, this man just slid down the slope to catch up to him. His hands are hovering above Virgil, scared to touch, but more scared that Virgil is going to keep falling.

“Fuck,” is Virgil’s eloquent response. He tries to take a deep breath, tries to do his breathing pattern to calm his nerves, but NOPE. Wrong move. 

He immediately gasps and his hands fly to his ribs, another flair of pain shooting up them. Remus’ hands grab his, pulling them away from his torso, holding them securely. “I think you have some broken ribs. That was… one hell of a fall. We need to get you back up to the trail though, okay?”

Virgil can only nod his head, allowing Remus to help him stand, biting his lip so hard to keep from crying out that his lip splits. It hurts.

Trust Logan to come up with ideas on the fly. The biker must have stopped when he realized Virgil had fallen (at least he didn’t just keep driving), because when Virgil opened his tear filled eyes, there was a bike tire just a few feet from his face. He followed the frame of the bike, up to where Roman was holding the other wheel and standing precariously on the slope. Logan is clinging onto his hand, one foot on the slope and one on the actual trail, and if Virgil has to guess, the biker and Patton are just out of sight, keeping Logan steady. 

Virgil knows it’s going to hurt before Remus even warns him that it will, watching the taller man get a good grip on the bike wheel, before holding Virgil’s wrist with as much force that can muster without actively cutting off circulation. Virgil holds onto his wrist in return, Remus gives a shout to go ahead, and the human/bike chain they’ve created begins to pull them up. 

And oh lord, if Virgil thought just laying down was painful, tripping and stumbling up a steep incline is another world altogether. This time, biting his lip doesn’t work and he lets out a few muffled cries as the team works together, Remus squeezing his wrist every time a choked sound escapes his lips, mind too full of pure agony to even curse.

When they finally step foot onto the trail again, Virgil is in tears, and he is too far gone to even care. The biker is incredibly apologetic, offering his contact information and bidding them adieu when they insist that they’re okay now, and takes off, at an admittedly much slower pace than he was at before. 

Logan, the only one of them with proper (and extensive) first aid training, forces Virgil to sit, giving him time to find a position that puts as little pressure on his ribs as possible, before crouching in front of him.

“Let me check if they’re broken.”

His hand reaches out towards Virgil’s shirt and all the alarm bells start BLARING. No. No, no, no, no, no. Before he can restrain himself, he reaches out and slaps Logan’s hand away, sending another wave of pain through him. The pain doesn’t matter though, not in comparison to Logan possibly revealing his soulmark. 

Logan doesn’t understand this reaction properly (when does he ever), so he tries again.

“Virgil, I need to check the extent of the damage. A cracked rib means you can still make it back to the car. A broken rib would require emergency services and probable air lifting to prevent further damage, like a punctured lung.”

“Fine,” Virgil hisses through clenched teeth, bitterly understanding his logic, “Just… don’t take the shirt off.”

He tries to say it to only Logan, but it’s clear the other’s heard it by the way they exchange confused glances. Yes, they’ve never seen Virgil without a shirt, except they’d always pegged that up to insecurities. Wouldn’t those take a back seat in a possible medical emergency? 

Logan complies, however, and slides his hand under the hem of his shirt without moving the fabric. He runs his hands slowly up each rib, concentrating heavily, until he reaches one midway up and Virgil yelps, instinctively flinching backwards.

Startled by the reaction (it’s his first time actually administering first aid like this, give him a break), Logan jumps back, forgetting his hand is still under Virgil’s shirt.

His hand moves up.

Virgil moves back.

And the hem of his shirt rises up his chest for just a moment.

A moment’s all that’s needed, though. When you notice something that you’ve seen yourself a hundred times over, admiring this way and that in the mirror to commit it to memory, it only takes a glance to recognize it.

Remus only needed that split second of the shirt riding up to notice the lower half of the soulmark, and he definitely did notice it, if the way his jaw drops is anything to go off of. Virgil winces again, not from pain this time, and looks down at his shoes, abhorring the awkward silence that ensues.

The other three don’t understand, watching the two of them with varying levels of confusion, until Remus blurts:

“Are you my soulmate?”

And everything clicks into place. Virgil nods mutely, still not looking up, afraid of his reaction. Would he be upset Virgil kept it a secret? Would he be disappointed? Would he would he would he-

“Oh thank GOD!”

That’s… not the reaction he was expecting. He looks up to see Remus grinning like a child on their birthday, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“I mean, if I’d want anyone to be my soulmate, it would be you! You don’t hate me, which a lot of people do, and you actually listen to me, which is nice, and not to mention you’re super hot, like the whole emo thing is just-”

“Remus!” Roman screeches, cutting him off, “You’re embarrassing him, let him breathe!”

It’s the first time Roman has ever come to Virgil’s defense, and he’s only vaguely happy about that. Truth is, he’s so much more wrapped up in the fact that Remus is actually happy that he doesn’t even notice Logan’s back to touching his ribs until another sharp pain brings him back.

“They’re definitely not broken. Fractured, at worst. Either way, you’re going to the hospital. Only question is, can you get down to the car?”

Virgil wants to nod, wants to go along with no problem, but he can barely take a step before his knees almost give out. If he could double over without making everything worse, he would. 

Remus doesn’t see this as a problem, though, eagerly offering Virgil to ride on his back until they get to the bottom. The shorter is, obviously, reluctant to this plan, seeing as how it’s a decently long trail and he isn’t that light, but damn, his soulmate insists, and next thing he knows, he’s gingerly holding onto Remus’ shoulders as he pushes back into a standing position.

(If he wasn’t already super hot, he’s strong, too? Virgil has struck the literal jackpot.)

He buries his face into the crook of Remus’ neck, trying not to wince at every jolt and bump as they maneuver their way down the hill, all conversation halted so they can focus on the two of them. Roman walks in front of them and Patton and Logan behind, ready to jump into action at any sign of stumbling. 

But it’s okay, it actually is, Virgil realizes as they’re making their way down the hill. Sure, they only really bonded today, but they also bonded in a day, and if that’s not telling of the future they’ll have together, whether romantic or platonic (they still need to talk that out), it’s gonna be okay.

Anyone who’s willing to throw themselves into harm's way and carry you down a mountain has got to be a worthy soulmate.

Cupid’s Game

Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader, Han Jisung x Fem!Reader Part 1 | Part 2 Word Count: 4.9k  Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, a pretty soft chapter overall. The fun stuff comes next chapter  Soulmate!AU Fantasy!AU Cupid!Hyunjin A/N: I apologize if the explanation is confusing, I clear it up better next chapter 

“Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it!” 

Your smile wasn’t nearly as wide as your counselor’s as she lead you into her office. For the past seventeen years of your life, you had to deal with these stupid yearly counseling sessions. She acted as your therapist and advisor, trying to help you understand the world you had been born into. But once you turned eighteen, everything changed. Now,  your main goal was supposed to be finding your soulmate and living life happily.

Unfortunately for your advisor, you weren’t actually trying.

The logs you’d given her for every monthly evaluation had been faked. You hadn’t traveled around, paid extra attention to especially cute people, and you had completely ignored any “tugging from the depths of your soul.” Sure, there had been times where it felt like your heart literally jumped, but you never felt this unpreventable need to find the apparent love of your life. 

You handed her the folder once again and then followed your same old routine of collapsing into the recliner chair and checking your nails as you waited for her to confirm your adventures. While your log suggested an exciting life, your life was really anything but. You were focusing solely on your classes, using your status to move ahead with ease. Most people like you—stupidly called doxies—were well-known celebrities and were doted on by everyone.   They had no talent, no job, no degree, absolutely nothing with merit, but yet they still had more recognition and money that everybody else.

The reason your “kind” even existed was because of the close destruction to humankind hundreds of years ago. After chemical warfare that took over the whole planet, the human race was almost completely wiped out. And when extinction was right around the corner, someone or… something proposed the idea of perfect couples. The first doxies were created, quickly fell in love, and had children that were stronger. The being who created these people was called a ‘Cupid’ and from there, the society you lived in today was created. 

Every time you thought of it, the more insane the idea became. It didn’t matter how many times it was explained to you. Doxies were born with perfect genes, along with the mutation factor that caused them to feel extremely connected to another one of their kind. Because of the perfect genes, their children became better with each new generation and somehow, it created a world that was mostly peaceful and united. 

There were many theories as to why the creation of doxies kept wars to a minimum. Some believed that the children they had were born with lower violence tendencies. Others thought that it was more of a psychological game: everyone had to believe in the Cupid, so the main cause of war disappeared. Or that since doxies were so worshipped, it gave humans a better thing to do than to brutally murder one another. 

Simply put, you were born to be an incubator to perfect little babies and it was the last thing you wanted to be.

You looked up from your nails, watching as Leila turned through the last few pages of your log. Normally, she would be smiling as she read over your pages, but there was an unimpressed frown on her face. You bit your lip, hoping that she wasn’t expecting you to “do more.” 

“You know,” she hummed, letting the folder flutter closed, “I’m not an idiot.”

You opened your mouth, but she talked over you.

“Y/N, I can tell you haven’t done anything. I know you haven’t done anything for the past seven months. You’re not my first client, my dear. I can tell when someone is faking,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was silent for a few seconds, brushing her hair from her face before she looked at you. “Although I am not a doxy, I can understand your disposition against this whole ordeal. But, you have to understand something.”

You raised an eyebrow at her, indignation starting to flare up. Leila leaned over her desk, her blonde hair falling across her face as she did. She didn’t flinch at your narrowed gaze, just met it with a calm one of her own.

“You are playing with higher power my dear,” she whispered. There was evident fear in her voice and it started to unnerve you. “I know you don’t want to be forced to love someone, but the problem is that not only is the government strict on this whole ordeal, you also have the Cupid to deal with. Yes, doxies are given wealth and fame beyond imagination, but they are more strict with you than anyone else.  

“You haven’t experienced it yet because you are so young, but Y/N, if you haven’t found your soulmate by the time you’re 21 and announced your marriage, the government will come after you. I think it’s stupid too, but as stupid as the whole idea is, the human race does rely on the mixed genes of two doxies—”

“But, we’re no longer worrying about extinction!” You argued.

“There are things you don’t understand!” She shouted, standing up. Her hands slammed on the table. “You think I got this job because I got some psychology degree and minored in Cupid studies? I got this job because the government decided I was trustworthy enough to know what’s really going on with this whole soulmate getup!” She sat down, burying her face in her hands. You sat there, stunned. It was hard to say what shocked you more: her shouting at you or whatever she had just revealed. What was it that you didn’t understand? Was the human race still fighting extinction? Chemical destruction? Leila cleared her throat, adjusting her shirt and patting her cheeks. Her face was bright red. 

“Y/N, unfortunately, I am in no place to tell you of what is going on, but I suggest you actually start looking for your soulmate. Because if you don’t: everything your family has gained because of your genes will disappear. They will disappear. You will be taken into custody, the government will find your soulmate for you, and you will lose any chance at the freedom you had before.”

She handed you back your faked log, blue eyes sad. Once you took the folder, she motioned you to leave, and you wearily did.  Your stomach was rolling. Your family had been in poverty before you’d been born. It was your existence that put dinner on the table and a roof over your head—but now it was more than just your existence—it was your cooperation. You didn’t need Leila to elaborate on what exactly freedom meant; you had a sickening idea of what losing it meant.

You sat in your car, watching as people passed by. Your fingers traced the tattoo on your wrist: a branding you had been given at birth. A branding that defined your whole life. The branding that took away your chance to truly live: find love on your own, make friends, fight your own struggles, and not live your life with someone always watching you. People always recognized that mark: smiling at you, congratulating you, sometimes even going as far as to bow. You thought of the mandatory checks you had at the police station when you were ten and fifteen. 

With a huff, you started your car and drove away. Part of you just wanted to keep driving to see how far you could go and where you could get lost, but you knew better than that. The first thing you’d been warned of when you turned fifteen was that you would always be watched. You learned that quickly, because any little thing you did to act out, you had to have a serious talk with some man in your house. He never told you of any future consequences, he would just always say that you were a vital part of society. You always figured that it meant you were a role model to regular humans, but now you started to question that. Was humanity still fighting extinction? Or is there a bigger role that doxies play?

You pulled into the driveway and climbed out of your car. The home you lived in was big enough to house seven families, but only four of you lived there. Five if you count your dog. You stepped inside and didn’t bother to say hello as you walked to your room. 

You wanted to be alone, but that plan was changed when you noticed your younger sister sitting on your bed. She was flipping through a magazine and glanced up as you sadly slumped onto your bed. A huff escaped her and she closed the magazine.

“What are you pouting about now?” She asked, tapping your head. You rolled onto your back, crossed your arms over your stomach, and stared at the ceiling. 

“I absolutely have to find my soulmate,” you muttered, “they’re forcing me to.”

She tilted her head at you. “You act as if it’s a bad thing that you for sure have love out there.”

You frowned. 

“I don’t think you understand how much it sucks to have your free will taken away from you,” you grumbled. She rolled her eyes, laying down beside you. The two of you were silent for a few more minutes, both of you just staring at the old glow in the dark stars on your ceiling. They glowed faintly in the dusk light. 

“You didn’t lose your free will, Y/N,” she said, “think of it as if it’s a fairy tale. You have true love out there, but every decision you make up to that point and afterward is your own. Plus, your soulmate is supposed to be your perfect match. That’s how the Cupid pairing works—it’s not like you’ll be miserable.”

“Maybe the Cupid messed up, I’m a complicated person.”

“Everybody’s a complicated person,” she snapped and then rolled onto her side to stare at you. “What about your soulmate? What if they want to meet you? What if love is the one thing they need in their life, what are they going to do if you refuse to be found?”

You smiled bitterly at her.

“Why do you have to sound so smart?”

She smiled back at you. Her hand found yours and she squeezed gently. She tucked her head against your shoulder. 

“And if it doesn’t work out perfectly, all that matters is that the cameras show a happy couple right?”

That’s what you used to think—that your life would become a reality show. But there was more to it than that. You had to have kids and raise them right. You had to contribute to society. You had to be happy with your life and play by the Cupid’s rules. 

But laying there, letting your mind run, you couldn’t bring yourself to accept that. No one had seen the Cupid in hundreds of years. Who was to say that it was still alive? Why should you live your life like a game that was created by some dusty creature that hadn’t been seen in centuries?

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

A year passed slowly. 

Nothing exciting happened in the year. You turned nineteen, got a job, and continued to work towards you goal of becoming a lawyer. Leila still saw you once a month, looking thoroughly unimpressed by every fake log you handed her. But she no longer fought with you and it seemed that she’d also accepted whatever fate was to be bestowed upon you. She would mutter about the government and the Cupid and how things are looking down for you. 

But for all her worrying and muttering, you didn’t see any problems. You weren’t given any warnings or had any talks with some official in your house.They didn’t seem to be paying attention to you and it felt like you were free to live your life. 

The only thing you forgot was that your soulmate could find you. 

Fall was nearing and the days were growing slower. The air was crisp and cold. You were walking your dog through the park, lost in your own world. School wasn’t going as well as you had hoped—your grades were falling and quickly.

You weren’t given much time to worry about your grades though. A finger tapped your shoulder and  you came face to face with a boy. He was near your height, his hair a dark, messy mop, and his eyes were deep brown. You froze when his hand dropped from your shoulder and skimmed over your fingers.

“You-you’re—” 

“Do you mind?” You shrieked, forcing yourself out of the stupor. You moved away from him, keeping your hand pressed to your chest. Your dog stirred nervously at your feet, uncertain of what to think of the stranger. 

He blinked. 

“You’re my soulmate,” he breathed. You pursed your lips. Fear started to creep over his features at your silence. His hands started to fidget at  his sides and his teeth dug into his lip. Doubt started to cloud his eyes. “I-I mean, it feels like you are.”

His hand pressed over his heart. 

You held your breath for a few seconds and closed your eyes. This was it; this was your chance. Your chance to prove that your life is your own and you didn’t owe it to anybody to fall in love with this boy. You let your breath out.

“I’m just going to get this over with: I am, but I don’t want to be. Love is a choice, a feeling that’s not forced upon someone. It might feel like we love one another, but we don’t,” you paused, your eyes finally opening to meet his, “and I’m not going to try and pretend. The government can screw their… what stupid game this is.”

He was silent, his eyes searching yours. Whatever strength that had been in you started to wane. The hurt, the fear, and the confusion in his eyes was enough to make you wonder if what you were doing was really right. If the government was watching: you weren’t only getting yourself hurt. He was going to get hurt because of you too. 

You didn’t even know his name.

“Look, I’m so—”

“Well this doesn’t seem right.”

You blinked, trying to find the  body of the voice. But as you continued to, your vision started to swim. The world spun around you and your whole body started to give out beneath you. You stumbled, reaching out your hands blindly to catch your fall. 

You managed to catch yourself, but everything around you was quickly changing. There was a distant sound of your dog barking and the feeling of a light breeze, but it swiftly faded. The cement turned to marble, the cold turned to a perfect temperature, and the smell of hay and dead leaves was replaced by an indescribable scent. Like your mother’s cooking or the smell of Christmas.  You glanced up, staring at the place you were in. Pristine quartz walls rose up high to a completely glass ceiling. Not far in front of you, two large, dark double doors were shut. There was a strong urge pulsing from deep inside to open those doors, but you were unable to move, scared of whatever would happen. 

“What the hell?”

You jumped, glancing over your shoulder. Your soulmate sat on the floor behind, his expression similar to yours as he took in your surroundings. Your heart dropped as the two of you made eye contact and the worry in your stomach grew. ‘You don’t even know what you’re dealing with Y/N.’ Not only had you gotten yourself in trouble, but your stubbornness dragged an innocent boy into the mix. 

Several minutes passed with the two of you just staring at one another. You were fighting the urge to cry, realizing that whatever was happening, what was about to happen, was entirely your fault. Your chin pressed against your chest and you covered your mouth, eyes pinching shut. Maybe you should’ve listened to Leila and your sister. You could’ve just accepted the truth: that your life was laid out for you the second you were born.

“Hey”—an arm was slung over your shoulders—“don’t cry. It’s going to be fine; we’ll be fine.”

You shook your head. 

“You don’t understand,” you gasped, “I’ve known the consequences of what would happen if I continued to fight my life. I got you dragged into this because I couldn’t just accept it.”

You looked at him, eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re not in for anything good.”

Just then, the doors swung open. Loud footsteps echoed throughout the building. Your gaze moved up, watching as a boy—seemingly close in age to both of you—strut towards you. He wore a completely white silk jumper, with a light brown belt, and a dusty pink cape fluttering from his shoulders. His black hair was parted very far to the left, his eyes were just as dark as his hair. His skin was fair, such a contrast to his dark hair, that it looked close to white. His cheekbones were high, his jaw was sharp, and his body was lean. 

“Y/N Y/L/N. Han Jisung,” he hummed. His eyes ran over the two of you with something close to disdain. You watched him warily as he moved towards you.  He stopped once he was directly in front of you, slowly crouching down.  His fingers delicately grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. Shivers ran down your spine as his gaze carefully traced your face before he moved on to stare at Jisung.

Then, as if he had been shocked, he pulled back from you. The boy stood up and backed away. Your body was shaking wildly, completely out of your control.  It had felt like a thousand tiny sparks had erupted when he touched you. It was a feeling of sheer power and you felt powerless next to him. 

“Are the two of you going to continue to sit on the floor like peasants? Come on, we have much to talk about,” he commanded, snapping his fingers. Jisung and you exchanged looks before the two of you rose together and hurried after the boy. 

The further you walked, the more amazed you became by the place. Your fear started to become replaced by awe as you walked past crystal walls and star-filled ceilings. The marble floor became darker and darker until you were walking on a smooth, black tile. Potted plants lined the walls, all sorts of flowers spilling over the pots and filling the air with a smell that was unlike any floral scent. 

Eventually, you stopped walking. The three of you stood in a simple room. A leather couch was pushed against a wall, a coffee table placed a few feet in front of it. None of you sat. Instead, the three of you stood, staring at each other. Finally, the mystery boy spoke.

“I am what you assume me to be,” he murmured, “a Cupid. Although, humans have a very… different ideas of what Cupids really are. Specifically being that there is no one cupid and that we are definitely not immortal.”

“Huh?”

You wished you had something more intelligent to say, but you were wavering between a mixture of fear and awe and it was messing with your mind. This place was amazing, but the way you got here and the boy in front of you were not something to take lightly. Before, the Cupid had just been some invisible thing that only existed in stories whenever people talked about the war.

“This might take a little more than I thought,” he groaned and then snapped his fingers. Your heart leaped and the next thing you knew you were sitting in a black armchair, the room around you dissolving into a more office-like place. The boy sat down across from you. “My name is Hyunjin. I am a Cupid.

“You see here, everything you think about Cupids are very, very wrong. The whole ‘soulmate’ get up has existed since the beginning of time. We’ve been creating perfect pairs for as long as we can remember,” he explained. He paused, watching the two of you carefully. When neither of you spoke, he continued. “Every couple has been put together by us. We work in the way people originally thought Cupids to be: shooting arrows at people when they meet and starting a love between them. Now in the past hundred years, a ‘different kind of human’ has come along. That was not our doing—that was the chemicals released during the war. Believe it or not, most of these perfect humans are not paired with others the same as them. Cupids put people together whenever they feel a spark between two people.”

Your mouth opened and closed, your mind struggling to keep up with what was happening. Because all you were hearing was that everything you told as a child was a lie. Of course, you weren’t sure if you were happy exactly over the idea. Oddly enough, it helped that the reason you were forced to love somebody wasn’t because of some perfect genes you were born with. 

“And Y/N,” Hyunjin said, his eyes meeting yours, “you’re not forced to love anybody. Many arrows don’t create a romantic relationship, but a very good friendship. Cupids were created for the sake of creating happy relationships.”

Your eyes narrowed as he continued to explain, but as he slowly finished up, you found your anger starting to dissipate.  There were still many questions that were floating in your mind, but there was a small form of clarity blooming in your mind. 

“Wait a second,” Jisung spoke up, “why are we here? Why are you explaining this? Like—it’s nice, believe me, but… I’ve never heard of this before.”

Hyunjin leaned back with a sigh. “Yes, that’s probably because we seem to be in a situation we’ve never stumbled upon before.”

His lips quirked up a bit as his eyes moved from Jisung to you.

“The arrow hit Jisung, but for whatever reason, I was unable to get Y/N.” Hyunjin watched you carefully as he started to roll up his sleeve. He showed the two of you his arm and your mouth dropped. While you had a number tattooed into your arm, you had also been born with a very dark, interestingly shaped birthmark on your stomach. 

The same exact shape was on Hyunjin’s wrist. 

“I believe that Y/N and I have several things to discuss,” he muttered, laughing to himself as he rolled his sleeve back down. “But for now, I think it’s best the two of you get settled. As much as I wish I could just send you back down to Earth, some things need to be figured out before you do.”

Hyunjin then proceeded to lead the pair of you to a room and left you there. It was a large room, but there was only one bed. You found it ironic that he was only just saying a few minutes ago that no was forced to love somebody else, but he was putting the two of you in a room together and claiming he had no others. In a place as big and majestic as this, you could imagine there was a hundred of bedrooms. 

But either way, you refused to act childish and give him the satisfaction of watching you squirm. The two of you agreed to share a bed, but you quickly noticed that Jisung seemed more uncomfortable that you did. He was fidgety as the two of you lay in bed, both of you clearly unable to sleep, but neither one saying a thing. 

Jisung broke the silence.

“So you’re telling me that when we touched… you didn’t feel anything?” He asked quietly. You shifted, glancing over at him. 

“No?” You muttered, eyebrows furrowing. “Was there something?”

His hand slowly reached for yours, his fingers curling over yours. His hand was shaking as he did so and once your skin made contact, he gasped softly. It was hard to see in the dark, but from what you could tell, there was a light dancing in his eyes.

“It feels like there’s sparks going off between us. It-it just fills my body every time and its so hard to ignore. My heart starts racing and butterflies erupt…” he trailed off, a sad tone filling his voice. You felt genuinely bad. There was no way to say that you would never like him back, but at the moment, you felt nothing for this boy while he seemed to feel more than just a vague liking for you. 

“Hey,” you whispered, squeezing his hand, “don’t lose hope, okay? Everything is really confusing right now, but once we get out of here and understand exactly what is going on, the two of us can figure it out, ‘kay?” The more you thought about his explanation, the more worry started to worm its way into your stomach. Your mind ran back to when Hyunjin touched you: how it felt like electricity was running through your body and taking over your senses. The way he had pulled back, a shocked look on his face;  something wasn’t right. 

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

You woke up before Jisung with only one thought in your mind. Hyunjin knew more than he was letting on. Whether it was a tactic to leave you in the dark and play with you, or to spare Jisung’s feeling, you didn’t care. You had questions and they were going to be answered, whether the boy wanted to or not. 

The place was not easy to navigate. There were hundreds of halls and stairs and many of the rooms looked the same. It was by pure luck that you somehow managed to make it down to the and found Hyunjin. He didn’t look surprised to see you.

“Good morning,” he hummed. 

“Yeah,” you muttered, sitting down across from him at the table. You pulled your shirt up, pointing to the birthmark on the low left of your stomach. “What exactly does this mean? Who are you? Why couldn’t you hit me?”

He took a slow sip from his mug, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Y/N, you seem to think that I have more answers than I actually do. I have a few ideas, but those are much different than knowing, aren’t they?” He paused. His face was  swimming worriedly as his eyes zeroed in on the mark on your stomach. You let the shirt fall, shifting in your seat. “It-this concerns me deeply. I am… truly not sure. The ideas I have worry me because it would mean that other things are at work that I cannot control.”

“Could you stop being so fucking cryptic?” You snapped, slamming your hands on the table. Hyunjin didn’t even look remotely startled. His eyes just settled lazily on you again before he sighed.

“I fear that either another Cupid has… shot both of us somehow or that the universe folded once again.”

“What—”

“The universe folding is an expression we use to explain that something has fallen out of our hands. Every now and then, people are born with soulmates already chosen for them. Although that incident is also out of our hands, it truly only worries us when it happens to a Cupid,” he muttered, his voice growing quieter and quieter. You froze. Hyunjin frowned. 

“Are you trying to tell me… that we’re soulmates?” You squeaked out. Your face was burning bright red. This couldn’t be happening. Life was already too complicated, but this was just thrown at you so viciously.

“There is one way to tell.”

You were at attention immediately. You nodded, hoping to prove that whatever was happening was just fake. That the two of you having the same birthmark was just a crazy chance. Hyunjin stood up and walked towards you. Everything moved fast, too fast for you to stop it. His fingers moved your chin up and his lips pressed down to yours. For a second, you didn’t want it, but as his lips started to slowly move against yours, you started to melt into him. The moment you let yourself fall into the kiss, sparks erupted where you touched. Fire started to spread through your body and you were happily letting it consume you.

Your hands curled into his hair, pulling him closer and pressing yourself tighter against him. Hyunjin stumbled and he struggled to catch himself. He failed and fell against you, the two of you falling to the ground.  He pulled away with a gasp, his body heaving. His eyes were dilated and you were certain you looked the same.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, his body shaking against yours. “That-that was…”

“Crazy,” you whispered.

Your body was still alight at every place the two of you touched. Part of you tried to force yourself to hate it, but you couldn’t. It was like a rush; a drug that was stronger than any other. You were fighting the urge to just dive right back in. 

Then your mind went to Jisung and all the sparks disappeared. Your body went cold and you pushed Hyunjin away. Your eyes pinched shut. There was so much that you had to work out. If this was what Jisung felt every time he touched you, how were you supposed to reject him? It was addictive. 

“I can’t believe this,” you huffed. You looked up, staring at Hyunjin. 

“What kind of game did you people just throw me into?”

German in English wie as ich I seine his dass that er he war was für for auf on sind are mit with sie they sein be bei at ein one haben have dies this aus from durch by heiß hot Wort word aber but was what einige some ist is es it Sie you oder or hatte had die the von of zu to und and ein a bei in wir we können can aus out andere other waren were die which tun do ihre their Zeit time wenn if werden will wie how sagte said ein an jeder each sagen tell tut does Satz set drei three wollen want Luft air gut well auch also spielen play klein small Ende end setzen put Zuhause home lesen read seits hand Hafen port groß large buchstabieren spell hinzufügen add auch even Lande land hier here muss must groß big hoch high so such folgen follow Akt act warum why fragen ask Männer men Veränderung change ging went Licht light Art kind aus off müssen need Haus house Bild picture versuchen try uns us wieder again Tier animal Punkt point Mutter mother Welt world in der Nähe von near bauen build selbst self Erde earth Vater father jeder any neu new Arbeit work Teil part nehmen take erhalten get Ort place gemacht made leben live wo where nach after zurück back wenig little nur only Runde round Mann man Jahr year kam came zeigen show jeder every gut good mir me geben give unsere our unter under Name name sehr very durch through nur just Formular form Satz sentence groß great denken think sagen say Hilfe help niedrig low Linie line abweichen differ wiederum turn Ursache cause viel much bedeuten mean vor before Umzug move Recht right Junge boy alt old zu too gleich same sie she alle all da there wenn when nach oben up Verwendung use Ihre your Weg way über about viele many dann then sie them schreiben write würde would wie like so so diese these sie her lange long machen make Sache thing sehen see ihm him zwei two hat has suchen look mehr more Tag day könnte could gehen go kommen come tat did Anzahl number klingen sound nicht no am meisten most Menschen people meine my über over wissen know Wasser water als than Anruf call erste first die who können may nach unten down Seite side gewesen been jetzt now finden find Kopf head stehen stand besitzen own Seite page sollte should Land country gefunden found Antwort answer Schule school wachsen grow Studie study noch still lernen learn Anlage plant Abdeckung cover Lebensmittel food Sonne sun vier four zwischen between Zustand state halten keep Auge eye nie never letzte last lassen let Gedanken thought Stadt city Baum tree überqueren cross Bauernhof farm schwer hard Beginn start Macht might Geschichte story Säge saw weit far Meer sea ziehen draw links left spät late laufen run unterlassen Sie don’t während while Presse press Schließen close Nacht night realen real Leben life wenige few Norden north Buch book tragen carry nahm took Wissenschaft science essen eat Zimmer room Freund friend begann began Idee idea Fisch fish berg mountain Stopp stop einmal once Basis base hören hear Pferd horse Schnitt cut sicher sure beobachten watch Farbe color Gesicht face Holz wood Haupt- main geöffnet open scheinen seem zusammen together nächste next weiß white Kinder children Start begin bekam got gehen walk Beispiel example erleichtern ease Papier paper Gruppe group immer always Musik music diejenigen those beide both Marke mark oft often Schreiben letter bis until Meile mile Fluss river Auto car Füße feet Pflege care zweite second genug enough Ebene plain Mädchen girl üblich usual jung young bereit ready oben above je ever rot red Liste list obwohl though fühlen feel Vortrag talk Vogel bird bald soon Körper body Hund dog Familie family direkt direct Pose pose verlassen leave Lied song messen measure Tür door Produkt product schwarz black kurz short Zahl numeral Klasse class Wind wind Frage question passieren happen vollständig complete Schiff ship Bereich area Hälfte half Stein rock bestellen order Feuer fire Süden south Problem problem Stück piece sagte told wusste knew passieren pass seit since obere top ganze whole König king Straße street Zoll inch multiplizieren multiply nichts nothing Kurs course bleiben stay Rad wheel voll full Kraft force blau blue Objekt object entscheiden decide Oberfläche surface tief deep Mond moon Insel island Fuß foot System system beschäftigt busy Prüfung test Rekord record Boot boat gemeinsam common goldenen gold möglich possible Flugzeug plane statt stead trocken dry Wunder wonder Lachen laugh tausend thousand vor ago lief ran überprüfen check Spiel game Form shape gleichsetzen equate heiß hot Fehl miss gebracht brought Wärme heat Schnee snow Reifen tire bringen bring ja yes entfernt distant füllen fill Osten east malen paint Sprache language unter among Einheit unit Macht power Stadt town fein fine sicher certain fliegen fly fallen fall führen lead Schrei cry dunkel dark Maschine machine note note warten wait Plan plan Abbildung figure Stern star Kasten box Nomen noun Feld field Rest rest richtig correct fähig able Pfund pound getan done Schönheit beauty Antriebs drive stand stood enthalten contain Front front lehren teach Woche week Finale final gab gave grün green oh oh schnell quick entwickeln develop Ozean ocean warme warm kostenlos free Minute minute stark strong besondere special Geist mind hinter behind klar clear Schwanz tail produzieren produce Tatsache fact Raum space gehört heard beste best Stunde hour besser better wahr true während during hundert hundred fünf five merken remember Schritt step früh early halten hold Westen west Boden ground Interesse interest erreichen reach schnell fast Verbum verb singen sing hören listen sechs six Tabelle table Reise travel weniger less Morgen morning zehn ten einfach simple mehrere several Vokal vowel auf toward Krieg war legen lay gegen against Muster pattern schleppend slow Zentrum center Liebe love Person person Geld money dienen serve erscheinen appear Straße road Karte map regen rain Regel rule regieren govern ziehen pull Kälte cold Hinweis notice Stimme voice Energie energy Jagd hunt wahrscheinlich probable Bett bed Bruder brother Ei egg Fahrt ride Zelle cell glauben believe vielleicht perhaps pflücken pick plötzlich sudden zählen count Platz square Grund reason Dauer length vertreten represent Kunst art Thema subject Region region Größe size variieren vary regeln settle sprechen speak Gewicht weight allgemein general Eis ice Materie matter Kreis circle Paar pair umfassen include Kluft divide Silbe syllable Filz felt groß grand Kugel ball noch yet Welle wave fallen drop Herz heart Uhr am vorhanden present schwer heavy Tanz dance Motor engine Position position Arm arm breit wide Segel sail Material material Fraktion fraction Wald forest sitzen sit Rennen race Fenster window Speicher store Sommer summer Zug train Schlaf sleep beweisen prove einsam lone Bein leg Übung exercise Wand wall Fang catch Berg mount wünschen wish Himmel sky Board board Freude joy Winter winter sa sat geschrieben written wilden wild Instrument instrument gehalten kept Glas glass Gras grass Kuh cow Arbeit job Rand edge Zeichen sign Besuch visit Vergangenheit past weich soft Spaß fun hell bright Gases gas Wetter weather Monat month Million million tragen bear Finish finish glücklich happy hoffen hope blume flower kleiden clothe seltsam strange Vorbei gone Handel trade Melodie melody Reise trip Büro office empfangen receive Reihe row Mund mouth genau exact Zeichen symbol sterben die am wenigsten least Ärger trouble Schrei shout außer except schrieb wrote Samen seed Ton tone beitreten join vorschlagen suggest sauber clean Pause break Dame lady Hof yard steigen rise schlecht bad Schlag blow Öl oil Blut blood berühren touch wuchs grew Cent cent mischen mix Mannschaft team Draht wire Kosten cost verloren lost braun brown tragen wear Garten garden gleich equal gesendet sent wählen choose fiel fell passen fit fließen flow Messe fair Bank bank sammeln collect sparen save Kontrolle control dezimal decimal Ohr ear sonst else ganz quite pleite broke Fall case Mitte middle töten kill Sohn son See lake Moment moment Maßstab scale laut loud Frühling spring beobachten observe Kind child gerade straight Konsonant consonant Nation nation Wörterbuch dictionary milch milk Geschwindigkeit speed Verfahren method Orgel organ zahlen pay Alter age Abschnitt section Kleid dress Wolke cloud Überraschung surprise ruhig quiet Stein stone winzig tiny Aufstieg climb kühlen cool Entwurf design arm poor Menge lot Versuch experiment Boden bottom Schlüssel key Eisen iron Einzel single Stick stick Wohnung flat zwanzig twenty Haut skin Lächeln smile Falte crease Loch hole springen jump Kind baby acht eight Dorf village treffen meet Wurzel root kaufen buy erhöhen raise lösen solve Metall metal ob whether drücken push sieben seven Absatz paragraph dritte third wird shall Hand held Haar hair beschreiben describe Koch cook Boden floor entweder either Ergebnis result brennen burn Hügel hill sicher safe Katze cat Jahrhundert century betrachten consider Typ type Gesetz law Bit bit Küste coast Kopie copy Ausdruck phrase still silent hoch tall Sand sand Boden soil Rolle roll Temperatur temperature Finger finger Industrie industry Wert value Kampf fight Lüge lie schlagen beat begeistern excite natürlich natural Blick view Sinn sense Hauptstadt capital wird nicht won’t Stuhl chair Achtung danger Obst fruit reich rich dick thick Soldat soldier Prozess process betreiben operate Praxis practice trennen separate schwierig difficult Arzt doctor Bitte please schützen protect Mittag noon Ernte crop modernen modern Elementes element treffen hit Schüler student Ecke corner Partei party Versorgung supply deren whose lokalisieren locate Rings ring Charakter character insekt insect gefangen caught Zeit period zeigen indicate Funk radio Speiche spoke Atom atom Mensch human Geschichte history Wirkung effect elektrisch electric erwarten expect Knochen bone Schiene rail vorstellen imagine bieten provide zustimmen agree so thus sanft gentle Frau woman Kapitän captain erraten guess erforderlich necessary scharf sharp Flügel wing schaffen create Nachbar neighbor Wasch wash Fledermaus bat eher rather Menge crowd mais corn vergleichen compare Gedicht poem Schnur string Glocke bell abhängen depend Fleisch meat einreiben rub Rohr tube berühmt famous Dollar dollar Strom stream Angst fear Blick sight dünn thin Dreieck triangle Erde planet Eile hurry Chef chief Kolonie colony Uhr clock Mine mine Krawatte tie eingeben enter Dur major frisch fresh Suche search senden send gelb yellow Pistole gun erlauben allow Druck print tot dead Stelle spot Wüste desert Anzug suit Strom current Aufzug lift stiegen rose ankommen arrive Stamm master Spur track Elternteil parent Ufer shore Teilung division Blatt sheet Substanz substance begünstigen favor verbinden connect nach post verbringen spend Akkord chord Fett fat froh glad Original original Aktie share Station station Papa dad Brot bread aufladen charge richtig proper Leiste bar Angebot offer Segment segment Sklave slave ente duck Augenblick instant Markt market Grad degree besiedeln populate küken chick liebe dear Feind enemy antworten reply Getränk drink auftreten occur Unterstützung support Rede speech Natur nature Angebot range Dampf steam Bewegung motion Weg path Flüssigkeit liquid protokollieren log gemeint meant Quotient quotient Gebiss teeth Schale shell Hals neck Sauerstoff oxygen Zucker sugar Tod death ziemlich pretty Geschicklichkeit skill Frauen women Saison season Lösung solution Magnet magnet Silber silver danken thank Zweig branch Spiel match Suffix suffix insbesondere especially Feige fig ängstlich afraid riesig huge Schwester sister Stahl steel diskutieren discuss vorwärts forward ähnlich similar führen guide Erfahrung experience Partitur score apfel apple gekauft bought geführt led Tonhöhe pitch Mantel coat Masse mass Karte card Band band Seil rope Rutsch slip gewinnen win träumen dream Abend evening Zustand condition Futtermittel feed Werkzeug tool gesamt total Basis basic Geruch smell Tal valley noch nor doppelt double Sitz seat fortsetzen continue Block block Tabelle chart Hut hat verkaufen sell Erfolg success Firma company subtrahieren subtract Veranstaltung event besondere particular viel deal schwimmen swim Begriff term Gegenteil opposite Frau wife Schuh shoe Schulter shoulder Verbreitung spread arrangieren arrange Lager camp erfinden invent Baumwolle cotton geboren born bestimmen determine Quart quart neun nine Lastwagen truck Lärm noise Ebene level Chance chance sammeln gather Geschäft shop Stretch stretch werfen throw Glanz shine Immobilien property Spalte column Molekül molecule wählen select falsch wrong grau gray Wiederholung repeat erfordern require breit broad vorbereiten prepare Salz salt Nase nose mehreren plural Zorn anger Anspruch claim Kontinent continent

Outside of London; A Guide.

Hello, friends! I think there’s a semi-substantial amount of roleplays based around England, but honestly 90% of them are in London and while that’s great, England is made up of a lot of cities and I figured I’d show some #representation. 

In this guide we cover: Housing in England, location and travel! 

Disclaimer: This is based off of my experience and the experience of those around me. Most of my knowledge is concentrated around Birmingham, as that is where I grew up, but I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Stoke-on-Trent, Blackpool and Liverpool so I feel that I have a semi-decent shot at helping out. 

If you found this guide helpful, please reblog this as it helps to show me that there is interest and I’m not just shouting into a void. If you have any suggestions or comments about things I could/should cover in these guides please let me know! Any specific questions? Shoot me an ask and I’ll do my best to help you out. 

Location, Location, Location. 

England is divided into counties. There many of them, and realistically they don’t affect anything. All it really means is that your resources (police, fire, ambulance, charities, etc.) are organised by that one area. For instance - the buses in my city are all organised by Network West Midlands. They deal with every bus service (if it’s an NXBus) in the West Midlands. Ultimately, it doesn’t really affect anything. 

From my city to my university, it’s a 3-ish hour drive. That is a long drive. I know some people regard that as nothing, but when everything is so close together, it’s a lot. It’s not really a drive that people would make a lot - this is why train transport (while not that big) tends to be used to get from city to city. 

Only really in the inner cities are things that expensive. When you move away from the main city, things can get pretty affordable, but the inner city is still often really accessible via bus, driving or even train. When I’m at my boyfriend’s I’ll get the bus into the city centre, but when I’m at my mom’s sometimes it’s quicker to just jump on a train. Train tickets are also pretty inexpensive if you’re moving within the city. It’s when you’re heading to smaller cities that the problems arise. For instance, I can get to London for under £10, and to Liverpool for not much more. However, for me to get from Birmingham (a major city) to my University (a not-so-major city of about 200k) it’s £60+ with a change. On coach, it’s £14 with a change + it takes 5-ish hours (there are direct coaches that cost £30~ which is still significantly cheaper than the train) University students will commonly take a coach to and from their university to their hometown if it’s ridiculously priced. 

The higher north you go, typically the cheaper it is. This is dependent upon where in that city you are, but the general consensus is that north = cheaper. Obviously if you’re in Manchester city centre then it’s going to be a bit more pricey, but the general cost of living / food / etc. is seen to be cheaper the more north you go. A good way to judge how expensive a place is, is by how much the bus fare is. Birmingham bus fare is £4.00 for a daysaver (one ticket, on the bus as much as you like) but when I was in Liverpool I paid something like £1.20 for an U18 ticket. That’s a big difference. (For reference - Birmingham is the smack-bang middle of England. Liverpool is about 2 hours north, near Manchester.) 

Typically, when it comes to travelling; 

Driving

Cars in the UK are predominantly manual (with a gear stick) but we can still get automatic cars. Manual cars are also cheaper than automatic and you can drive an automatic with a manual license but you cannot drive a manual with an automatic license. 

My mom lives seven minutes from her work (she timed it, she’s got no life) but there are people who live up to thirty minutes away and have to take the motorway. This means that if there’s a massive accident, you can sit there for six hours, bored out of your skull

It’s also worth saying that if you live in a/the city centre, you’re not taking your car to work. It’s ridiculously expensive and parking is so few and far between, it’s really not worth it. People can and do drive, but plenty of people will also opt for a train or bus.

Buses

If you don’t drive the bus is often a very viable option. Buses will commonly run from 6:30/7 until 11:30/12 (at least where I am) but you can get night buses or buses that run later, they’re just a bit rare. 

Students (in college or secondary school, typically) are VERY common on buses. As in public buses. Unless someone has an impairment and go to a special school suited to their needs, you make your own way. Which often means that you jump on that bus with every man and his dog. 

Sunday service is real and it’s a pain in the arse. Buses that run every 10-ish minutes during the week drop to 20 between 9 and 5 and then drop to every 30 minutes after that (sometimes even every hour.) This means that if you miss your bus... you can be waiting for a very long time. 

Trains

Train’s are far more common for longer commutes. Also trains aren’t really that common for secondary school students (they either get dropped off in a car, walk or take the bus) but college students can and do take the train. My best friend takes an hour’s train ride to and from her college every day, and a lot of my teachers will get the train to college (my college is in the city centre, so it’s pretty logical.) Regardless, trains aren’t as common. 

Housing

Houses in England are attached. It is rare that you will see detached (stand alone) houses. Most houses will share their walls with their neighbours, unless they’re the end house in which case they’re called “semi-detached” cause... only half of them is attached. That tends to mean that if your neighbours have a baby, you can hear them crying. You can hear when the tv is too loud and all that kind of stuff. 

When you move out, there tends to be a few options in terms of who actually owns where you live. The options normally are:

Council. 

You sign up on the website, the council give you a priority rating and a set amount of points. These points are determined by the people in your household and your needs. A single mother with two kids will get more points than a single person with no dependants.

There is also a ‘bedroom’ tax, which states that you have to pay a tax if you live in a council property and are seen as having more bedrooms than you need. If, for instance you have two children of opposite genders that are aged seven and three, you have to pay extra tax for that third bedroom because it’s deemed as unnecessary. However if you have two children and they’re of different genders and one of them is over the age of ten (10) then you do not have to pay the tax. If they are of the same gender, then it is until one of them is sixteen (16).

Council and Housing Associations are most beneficial to those who are receiving benefits or are not working enough to cover rent by themselves. 

Housing Association

The way a housing association works is effectively the same as a landlord and the council. You apply on the council website for the aforementioned points and begin to bid on properties. When this happens, you may bid on a property that happens to be owned by a HA. The HA then acts as your landlord. HAs are pretty okay, dependent upon the area + such. When you live in a HA, any housing benefit you receive will immediately be paid from the council to the HA. This can cause issues if your money gets fucked up (which is more common than not because the housing system in the UK is BROKEN.) 

Private Rent

Private is when you have a landlord. I mean, that’s pretty self-explanatory really. You have an issue? Call the landlord. I’ve never had a landlord so I can’t really comment much on this. I will say that most landlords likely won’t accept housing benefit as a form of payment.

Private own. 

This is just the whole mortgage, thing. You know how this goes. 

There are a few different types of housing options when it comes to England and I’d imagine that this is pretty true for up and down the city.

Blocks of flats.

Blocks of flats are huge high-rises. They’re not as common anymore but there are still quite a few knocking about. If you remember the tragedy of Grenfell Tower, that was a high-rise. 

Blocks of flats can be owned by the local council or be privately rented. I’ve never lived in a flat, so my knowledge isn’t the best. They all tend to have names and there’s normally at least two together. 

A ‘flat’ is basically an apartment. So it’s a bunch of different flats (which, in high rises, commonly have two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom) High rises have a lot of flats in them. Commonly there’s at least 13 floors, with between around four and six flats per floor. So you can get a lot of people in a high rise. 

Maisonette. 

A maisonette looks like a wide house. It’s normally one to two floors, with flats that have three (or more) bedrooms. Maisonettes are considerably bigger, in terms of the flats inside, and consist of maybe two flats per floor. Maisonettes can also be council, privately rented or housing association. 

Bungalow.

A bungalow is a home without any stairs. They can be council, privately rented or privately owned. Bungalows aren’t that common anymore, but they’re great for people who have difficulty with stairs and such. Also most bungalows are actually pretty decent sizes too. 

Houses.

Houses in the UK are broken down into one of three categories:

Detached

Semi-Detached

Attached

This is literally just based upon how many of your walls are shared with your neighbour. Detached houses are really uncommon in the UK and are usually found in richer areas. Semi-detached is mainly just the house at the end of your street, so semi-detached and attached are the main two. 

Also it’s pretty common that you only have windows of two of the four house walls. Even if you’re in a semi-detached house, you’ll only have front and back windows. 

Houses can be privately owned, privately rented, housing association or council.

Most houses follow a similar layout. Typically three bedrooms, with either one bathroom or a room just for the toilet + then the bathroom (with a bath + sink + such.) It’s also super common for one room to be a ‘box room’ which is normally pretty small. My room at my mom’s house is the ‘box room’ and it fits a 3/4 bed, a chest of draws, and a metal rack that I use as a bookshelf. There is not a lot of room in there. 

And there you have it! I think I covered most things regarding transport and housing in the UK, and I really hope that it was as informative as possible. Stay groovy, my dudes. 

Pen Pals

(A roleplay between @askaudreyanne / @audreyannerp and @red-rad-and-rod .) It had been about a week since Audrey met J.C. and his siblings. It was kind of hard to miss them, given Lola seemingly bee-lined towards them during their stay at the park. She was grateful for her pooch’s detour, however, as the three proved to be good company (as did their father, who they had lunch with.) She wasn’t sure how long she should wait before emailing J.C., but figured a week was a long enough wait to not seem overly eager. She did originally intend to only send pictures of the dogs to show his sisters, but now she wanted to talk to him too. She decided to start slow, with a simple email. This is J.C., right? It’s Audrey, from Michigan. Here are some pictures of Lola in some flowers. She wasn’t supposed to be in them, but I just had to snap a few pictures before I got her out! Let me know how you three like them! She hoped asking for a response would lead the way to them talking about more than dogs.

- Ping! Oh, thank goodness, something to actually respond to! Surfing through a seemingly never ending list of ads for things he didn’t need was starting to get tiresome. A few clicks later, J.C. found himself searching through his e-mail. Hmm…junk. Junk. E-mail from Audrey- wait. E-mail from Audrey? … Ah, right! That was who he met over in Michigan when he and the family were over in Michigan! Man…even though they had only hung out for a little bit, he missed her. Her beautiful smile, her cute giggle…sigh~ Snapping out of his little lovestruck trance, he went ahead and read through the message, snickering a bit as he got a glimpse of Lola being a goofball. A short while later (mainly after Syd and Kat stopped squealing over the little pup), he sent back a reply: Yyyyup, it is! At least, that’s what people have been calling me for 23 years… Ahaha, I kid, I kid. 😋 What a little goofball! She’s such a sweetie. Syd and Kat seem to think so too, given the fact that they’ve been fawning over her for the past fifteen minutes or so. And reignited the whole “Mum, Dad, let’s get a dog!” debate, but that’s to be expected. How have things been over by you? - Audrey wasn’t the type to live on her phone or computer, so it was a good thing she had written a note to herself to check her email later. Upon coming home that evening and checking her notebook of reminders, she brought up her email and took a look. She chuckled at J.C.’s response and promptly began typing a reply, pleased he wanted to chat. (Or was at least acting like he wanted to, in order to be polite.) Ohhh deeaarrr XD I hadn’t intended to start a debate. Could you please tell them I’m sorry? Anyway, things have been pretty ordinary over here. Weather is still pretty nice, so I’ve been taking Lola on longer walks. She got a little over excited today though and ran into someone’s garden, as you saw. I was sure to tell her no… after I stopped laughing and taking pictures! XD So, how have things been on your end? - After hitting send, J.C. had to think…did it sound like he seem interested? Did he sound bored? Should he have added more emojis? …Nah, maybe that would’ve been a bit excessive. Maybe a little immature…who knows, maybe Audrey would have thought that Syd or Kat took hold of his computer. Now came the waiting game. He would’ve done a bit more internet browsing, if he hadn’t have been dragged outside by Syd for a game of football. That was probably a more productive way to spend his time, anyway. No real need to worry. (…) Later on, now relaxing with a cup of tea, he went back on and found a reply. Haha, I will! They’ve been getting that for years, but I’m sure they’d appreciate the regards. Glad to see the weather’s manageable. Kind of makes me wish I was back there; right now, we’ve had a couple of gales come through. Nothing too bad, but having to be stuck inside for most of the day. Plus side, it’s supposed to clear up soon. Oooooh, Lola, what’s your mum going to do with you? 😂 Kind of reminds me of this time when Syd was a toddler…she’d done the same thing with our next-door neighbour’s back garden. I’ll have to send the picture in my next e-mail, but the end result was her being held (gently, of course) by her overall straps by our neighbour’s sheepdog! - Audrey discovered his reply the following morning. While she sent her reply early, it was likely the afternoon over where J.C. was. Wish you were here for the weather? Are you sure you don’t just want to see me? HA! I kid. I kid. We barely know each other. Aaaanywaaaaay… A sheepdog holding a toddler? That sounds both hilarious and adorable! You have GOT to send me that picture! Let’s just hope karma doesn’t come back to bite me. Mom and Dad recorded EVERYTHING when I was a kid. They have soooo many VHS tapes in the basement. Photo albums too. For a non-photogenic child, they sure loved taking pictures of me. - Why did time zones have to be a thing? He could respond at ten in the morning, and it’d only be five A.M. over by her…ah well. Upon reading Audrey’s response, he couldn’t help but blush a little. Okay, yeah, part of it was the weather, but part of it was because he wanted to see her. Weeeeell, that would be a major plus, if I’m being honest. …Does that sound creepy? Jeez, I hope it doesn’t; virtual communication’s tricky that way. 😓. If it did sound that way, I do apologize! Guess, ah…guess I should get on with the rest of this reply. Heheh… Don’t worry, little me wasn’t exactly the poster child for being photogenic, either. Guess it must be a parent thing…mine were the same way. I’ve made sure to bury one of the albums that has the MOST embarrassing ones as deeply as I can in storage, but somehow they keep finding it. Speaking of ‘embarrassing’ photos… Ask and ye shall receive~ Not going to lie, her face still cracks me up; sort of like she’s saying “Curses! Foiled again!”

- Audrey was pleasantly surprised to see that J.C. seemed to enjoy her company as well. Aw, really? You’re sweet~ <3 Don’t worry; no creepiness detected! Well, you know parents and their magic able-to-find-stuff powers. You could search for something for hours and they’ll point to it right in front of your face! That photo is somehow more adorable and hilarious than I thought it would be! She really was a scamp from the very beginning, wasn’t she? Anyway, if you’re interested, maybe I could tell you a bit about myself and vice-versa? Make sure I’m someone you want to see again? - Oh, good! This was off to a great start~ Phew! Good, good. Just want to make sure, y’know? True, true. Heck, you could try to send something that you don’t want seen to…I don’t know, Antarctica…and they’d still manage to find it. Haha, yeeeeah; once she started crawling, it was all downhill from there! Sure, why not? I think it’s better one-on-one as opposed to doing it in front of a group, like on the first day of school. That whole “what’s your name, what’s your major, one fun fact about yourself” spiel. How should we do this? Do you want to go first or should I? - Well, I suggested it, so I guess I’ll go first. Now let’s see… My full name is Audrey Anne Davis. I’m currently 24 years old and my birthday is March 27th. I’m a college graduate and I work as a personal trainer at a local gym. My hobbies include working out, cooking, listening to music, and dancing. Not sure what else to put so, uh, your turn! (P.S. Feel free to ask me anything!) - My turn it is, then. Soooo, let’s see…mine is Jean-Claude Henri Malone (née Bellerose), currently 23, aaaand my birthday’s August 23rd. Right now, I’m working on my bachelor’s (almost done, though!)…started in gen. studies, decided to do something with humanities. I do a bit of work at the student bookstore, aaaand my hobbies include listening to music, playing videogames, reading…aaaand I would say I enjoy a bit of footy every now and again. Aha, dancing, eh? Any specific training (e.g. ballet, hip hop, anything of that sort) or is it more like “put on some tunes and see where the music takes you”? (P.S. Likewise!) - I have to admit, I had to Google née and footy. XD Anyway, I learned to dance from my dad. He took some classes when he was a kid, but is mostly self taught. (He’s REALLY good!) I pretty much just go with the music. I know some specific dance moves, but I don’t really know how to do those fancy dances you’d do at a ball. What kind of books do you like to read? I’m not much of a reader myself, but I do listen to audio books on occasion. I’m not exactly the brightest bulb, so I try to stick to books that don’t have seven layers of meanings you have to analyze in order to understand and enjoy them. - Ah, yes, the “English to English” thing. If I find one of those sorts of dictionary, I’ll be sure to send it your way. XD Interesting! That’s how I tend to dance as well…I’ve been meaning to take one of those “ballroom dancing” classes, just for the heck of it, buuuut…dunno, haven’t had the time as of late. (Or a partner for that matter, but that was a different story.) Just kind of want it as some random skill to have under my belt. I’m not super picky- if something looks interesting, I’ll pick it up, read the first couple of chapters, see where it goes. Though I will say, audio books are a godsend…always good for plane or car rides, if you’re not the one driving. I totally feel you on that whole “analysis” thing; that used to throw me in secondary school so much. “The blue door is supposed to represent the main character’s feelings of sadness”…mmmmaaaaybe the author just really likes the colour blue? 🤔 Personally, I always like to recommend “Le Petit Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (don’t worry, there is an English translation…and about 298 others, haha). There’s some analysis like that that could come with it, but not a ton. It’s one of those stories that doubles as a “children’s” story and one for adults, as well. - You never know when you’ll have to break into a waltz! I jotted down that title in my handy dandy notebook, so I should remember to look into it. (The act of writing things down helps me to remember. You should see how many notebooks I go through in a year! LOL) Speaking of children’s stories, have you ever read any Goosebumps books? I only read one as a kid and it really scared me, so I never read any more. I wonder if I could handle them now. The problem is my fight or flight response is just a fight response. If I get nervous, I might hit things out of reflex. I once accidentally broke my dad’s nose as a kid because he snuck up on me. I felt SO BAD. My mom couldn’t stop laughing though. She was actually recording when it happened, so that infamous family moment is on tape. - True, very true! 🤣 I have, actually! Read a few when I was a bit younger- my favourite had to be the ‘Night of the Living Dummy’ stories. They were pretty creepy, I have to admit…although I stumbled upon another series around the same time that, I argue, is quite creepier. I’m not sure if a series known as “Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids” made its way over to the states, but hoooo boy. It was made into a TV series as well…not much better in terms of toning down the creepiness. I used to say it makes Goosebumps look like Mother Goose! 😮 (Granted, I don’t think Goosebumps is supposed to be a series that scares you into good behaviour whereas G.T.F.G.K. sort of is, buuuut…still kind of has you going “WHAT did I just read?!”) Okay, just reading that made me cringe, ouch! Remind me to never spook you…or if there’s ever a time we’re over in the states for Halloween, remind me to not take you to a haunted house/scary movie. If it’s any consolation, there’s quite a bit of embarrassing footage of small me as well, haha. “Cowboy J.C.”, “Super J.C.”, tiny siblings/cousins spitting up on me, you name it. 😅 - It doesn’t sound familiar to me, but I was never on the lookout for such things. Scaring kids into behaving? Ick. I’m of the belief that you should influence a child with positivity. I don’t mean in a spoiling kind of way. I just think finding the cause of a problem is more important than punishing the child. And when it does come to punishments, never do something that can damage them in the long run. Don’t be too lenient though. It is important to learn that actions have consequences. There has to be a balance. Sorry for the ramble there. It’s just that the way children are treated is important to me and I do not censor myself with such things. I’ll be sure to remind you. I’m not a fan of scary things. Unless they’re a fun type of scary, like paper bats or those fuzzy spider decorations. We’ve only ever had really silly looking spider decorations at our house during Halloween because my mom’s arachnophobic. If they’re too realistic, she gets the heebie-jeebies. Speaking of embarrassing, I feel it only fair to you and Syd that I share a photo of my own.

Guess who. - Hey, that’s fair! And makes sense, too. My thing is just…kind of let them do their thing (to an extent) and experience the world, just guide them along the way, you know? If they’re being a little butt (or rather, standard kid who’s still learning) about something, tell them why they shouldn’t be in a way that they understand; cause and effect. Like yes, you may want to eat six ice lollies in a row, but if you do, you’ll get a stomachache. Kiddo knows from experience that stomachaches suck, so a compromise of one or two ice lollies is made. As you said, balance is key. Aaaah, arachnophobia. Guess I’ll have to tell Syd that if she wants to show your mum a cool spider she found to…well, not to. XD; Awww-ha-ha-ha-haaaw, caught red-handed! I guess since I’ve put Syd and you through it, I figure one of mine wouldn’t hurt, either:

Apparently, small me did not like the idea of a fork, haha. - I’m glad we have similar views on children. I think we’re going to get along juuuuuust fiiiiiiiine. (Don’t get me wrong. I won’t hold it against anyone if they aren’t good with kids. Just don’t be mean to them.) Awww, you’re adorable~ Hmm… This email is a little short. I’ll just add some random stuff about me here. I love plush animals and have a LOT of them. My favorite fruit is either strawberries or raspberries. I hate pickles, but I like cucumbers. I can do the splits. … I’m out of stuff to say. - Right? I mean, they’re people, too. Just…y’know, tiny. XD As long as you try, then that’s what counts. Eheheheh, I mean…kiiinda? 😅 This was one of the ones I could find that wasn’t completely embarrassing. I think Dad’s in possession of one of the ones that would made me melt into a puddle of shame. Hm, so’s this one. Guess I’ll follow suit? My favoruite fruits are probably apples and watermelon. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I like those indoor trampoline parks, buuuut the last place you’ll catch me is in the foam block pit (of course, guess who loves to go in those). If I had to pick my top three favourite animals, I’d have to say either cats (big or small), dogs (same), ooooor elephants. - I can’t really think of much to say this time around, but I’ll leave you with this. Given your favorite animals, I’d say I can always rely on you to address the elephant in the room! - LOL! 🤣🤣🤣 Haha, that’s alright. Guess that means we’ll have more to talk about the next time around. I think?I hope? XD; - It was a few days later that Audrey took the time to really sit down and think of something to write. Sorry for the wait on this one. I wanted to actually have something to say this time. Before I forget though, did you guys remember to try Blue Moon ice cream while you were here? Anyway, I find it so odd to think about how, if it wasn’t for Lola, we might have never met. Well, maybe not never, given our dads work for the same company. We might not have met until much later, if not for Lola. How neat and silly is it that my dog found me a pen pal? Also, I was able to think up some more questions for you! What are some of your favorite animated movies? What about songs? Desserts? Oh! By the way, here’s a video of Daisy my mom took the other day. It’s amazing how high that little dog can jump when treats are involved. - Now, logically, J.C. knew that taking a few days to respond was no real issue. Perhaps Audrey had gotten preoccupied with other tasks. That was typical for a twenty-something nowadays (he should know, he was one). A small part of him, though, couldn’t help but feel as though she had lost interest in him. If he had, he wasn’t the kind of person to be bitter about it…maybe a bit upset, but…Audrey was her own person, she had the right to make her own decisions. When he got a reply a few days later, that fear had melted away…then again, a video of a little dog getting some serious air in the name of treats always helps. Hey, no worries! We did, actually. Interesting flavour! Kind of like cotton candy, but also kind of not. If “blue” itself can qualify as a flavour, I guess, that’s what I’d call it. Kind of bites that wer don’t have it over here. Guess that gives me a reason to go back to the States, LOL. Ooo, okay, let’s see…I’d have to say one of the more recent ones is Ernest & Celestine. When I was little, apparently, I used to watch My Neighbor Totoro at least once or twice a week. I don’t remember, though, if I had watched it in English or in Japanese with the subtitles on. Might have been the latter, I only know the song in Japanese (and that’s….probably the extent of my Japanese XD. I can’t translate it, but I can sing it, so there’s that!). Songs, I’m all over the place, so I can’t exactly list a specific one. Mum and Dad like the Beatles, and they grew on me, sooo I guess there’s them? Will have to get back to you on that one, haha. Dessert-wise…can’t go wrong with creme brulee, that’s for sure~ Hot fudge sundaes are a close second. To be honest, I’ll take any offerings when it comes to sweets. 😋 Ha! Man, she’s got some power there…imagine her trying to make slam dunks! …Granted…that’s….kind of hard to do without thumbs, but…you get what I mean. I think? I know, right? I’m not entirely sure what dogs think about, but can you imagine if she was actively/knowingly playing matchmaker? ‘yes, hello there other human, meet mine’. 🤣 Guess that makes it my turn for questions? Mine are kind of weird, but: What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? What was the last song you sung along to? What’s your favorite type of day? (weather, temp, etc.) - Blue really is the best way to describe that flavor! Hard to imagine that ice cream as any other color. Then again, it might work in another color as long as it’s pastel. I think it’s pastel flavor. LOL Ernest & Celestine looks adorable! As for the other one… Honestly, it would probably have scared me as a kid. I think it’s the art style. Something about how big their mouths get, maybe. I don’t know… Nothing against the movie though! Just not my preference in style, you know?I’d say a few of my favorite animated movies are The Lion King, Lilo and Stitch, and the Emperor’s New Groove. I like to think New Groove is safe for any audience because no one dies; not even the villain.I like the Beatles as well! My music taste is varied. If something sounds good, I like it. Genre doesn’t really matter. Creme brulee? I’ve never had that. I do like custard though, so I imagine I would like it. And who doesn’t like hot fudge sundaes?! I love sweets as well! Yeah, I get it! Maybe we could get her a little basketball and hoop? She could carry the ball in her mouth! Her dribbling will be drool! XD I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what dogs are thinking. As for your questions, rock climbing might be fun? I’ve climbed indoor rock walls, but never the real thing. I honestly can’t remember the last song I sung along to. I kind of sing bits and pieces or hum when I listen to music, as opposed to full on singing along. Maybe I can go with the most recent song on my iPod? It was Fortune Teller by Maroon 5. I tend to find good things in any type of day, really. If I had to choose though, I’d say a sunny mid-spring day. The temperature would be right in the middle, not too hot, not too cold. Maybe the occasional cool breeze to help you feel alive, but enough sun that you don’t need a light jacket, but can wear one without burning up. Woof! That was a lot of typing! Maybe we could do an audio chat or something, one of these days? She hoped she wasn’t being too forward, but, seeing as they’ve spoken in person, she reasoned it wasn’t a big deal. - 😂😂😂 Eh, blue, pastel…close enough. Still tasty, regardless! 😋 Totally understandable! To each their own, right? Ooo, I might have to recommend New Groove to Kat. I’ve seen it a couple of times, but she hasn’t. I think anytime we’ve tried to settle down and watch it, something comes up (i.e., she’s going to a friend’s house, I had plans with a few of my friends, etc.). Lilo and Stitch is a pretty good one (def. one of Syd’s faves), and who DOESN’T like The Lion King? Can’t help but sing along with it, haha. Remind me to send you a recipe for some. It can be a little tricky, but it’s not like you have to have four or five things going at once. J.C. stopped typing for a couple minutes, trying to move his wrists around and get some of the building carpal tunnel aches to calm down a bit. Maybe Audrey had the right idea, switching over to audio calls… As for audio chat, I’m perfectly fine with that! Just want to let you know that I am about four to five hours ahead of your time zone (I believe that’s what it is? Daylight Savings is a weird concept…I guess for part of the year, it’s four and then the other part is five.). Whenever you’re feeling up to it. :) - Oh, right. Forgot about the time difference. Oops. LOL I tend to wake up at six in the morning and head to bed around ten at night. My work schedule isn’t a typical nine to five deal, being a personal trainer and all. I generally work when the client isn’t; so it’s usually in the mornings and evenings. I suppose the best time to catch me is early in the morning and midday, my time. Or on my days off, of course. Do you have an account on Discord? I figured we could do our chatting there. - Time-zones, mon amie; Une vraie douleur dans le cul…😩 Early morning, midday, and days off…duly noted! So that’d be afternoon to early evening here, I believe. Works out, though- my available times tend to be later in the day my time. I do- Name on there is OuiOuiJC#0714. If you see a profile picture that has a ferret in a beret, and they’re holding a baguette and glass of wine, that’s me. - Audrey couldn’t help but giggle at his username and profile picture. Rather than email him again, Audrey sent him a friend request from her Discord; AudreySugarSpice#1734. Her profile picture was a pink teddy bear. Guess who~ - Pink bear? Hm, unless one of his sisters had secretly made a Discord account (”Not until you’re older”, as per Mum and Dad’s rules), theeeeen this had to be Audrey. Looking at the username, that definitely confirmed it. Friend request accepted~ Guess who, eh? Hmmm….the Queen of England? 🤣 - Feeling a bit bold, Audrey initiated an audio call with him, planning to greet him with, “How’d you know?” followed by giggles. - …Well, she did say that she wanted to try out audio calls, so why not? Picking up, he answered with a comically dramatic gasp. “Your majesty~! I am not worthy!”   - Audrey giggled more. “I’d have followed up by pretending to be a queen, but, I don’t know how one acts and I can’t do an English accent to save my life,” she laughed. “Anyway, how are you doing? Can you hear me alright?” - “Incredibly proper, supposedly.” he chuckled. “Doin’ alright! Can hear you juuust fine. How about on your end? Hearing me and how things are going, I mean.” - “Same here! Glad I caught ya at a good time… I did catch you at a good time, right? It should be evening over there. Oh, I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything…” - “Haha, naaah, you’re fine! Been with the family for most of the day, so I’ve secluded myself in my room for a bit of ‘me’ time. It’s all good.” - “So I guess your me time is us time now,” she chuckled. “You live with your parents still or are you just visiting? It’s fine either way!” she added in a hurry. “The only reason I have my own place is because of Spike. He’s a workout friend of mine who works in construction and knows a few people in real estate.” - “Guess so; not that I’m complaining.” he responded. “ I spend most of my time here during the summer holiday…and, well, regular holidays.. During school, I live a bit closer to the campus. Soooo…I guess you could say both? Once I get my degree, I’m moving into my own. Haven’t settled on a location yet, really. Depends on if I want to be adventurous or not.” - “Ahhh. I see,” she nodded to herself. “What are some locations you’re thinking of moving to? Just curious.” - “Back to France is always an option…but knowing my family, either they’d be coming here at least once every couple of weeks or vice versa. Aaaaand that back and forth travel can be kind of pricey. I could always head up to and stay in Blackpool- where my university is. Or just take a total leap of faith and try somewhere else. The few times we’ve been over to the U.S. have been kind of nice- maybe I could live there. Might consider multiple citizenship, who knows. Eleven months there, one month here…” - “That does sound pricey… Though I’m sure you know that, if you’re considering the United States, I have to recommend Michigan. I’m biased, yes, but I have at least visited other states, so I’m not blindly swearing allegiance or anything. Fun fact, Michigan is one of the leading fruit growers in the States~ Cherries, especially,” she chirped. - J.C. laughed, “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea; being surrounded by fruit. I also wouldn’t mind living somewhere that gets actual snow in the winter. I mean, sometimes we’ll spend the holidays up in Northern Scotland, but not having to travel to see and play in the snow would be nice.” - “Oh, snow is definitely something we get up here,” she laughed. “Multiple feet of it, in fact. You should see Daisy during the winter; it’s hilarious! You just toss her outside and fwump; she disappears into the snow!“ - “Pffff! You might just have to tie a balloon to her collar or something and just track her that way. Or do you think she would float away?” - “Ha! Enough balloons probably would make her fly away! She’s so tiny! Truthfully, we just look for where the snow is moving. It also helps that she wears little sweaters when it’s cold out. Mom’s tried putting booties on her, but she just kicks them off.” - “Awwwhawhawhaw~ I’d hope she’d have at least a little something to wear. If I’m not mistaken, Michigan and a lot of those northern states can get pretty cold…like ‘stuck inside for days’ or ‘wearing five layers of clothing just to get the shopping done’ cold.” He thought for a minute. “Of…course, that’s all from word of mouth as opposed to personal experience, but…” - “I can confirm that it can get that cold. Ever see A Christmas Story where the little brother has so many layers of clothing he can’t put his arms down? It’s kind of like that.” - J.C. laughed, picturing the scene. “Oh, mon dieu. If we’re ever visiting during that time of the year, remind me to keep Syd away from metal poles!” - “Oh goodness… Yeah, that’s really a thing that happens here. Why do so many people think that’s a myth? Have they never gotten their tongue stuck to a popsicle before?” - “Apparently not. But hey, doing stupid stuff’s a part of life,I suppose. Maybe gain some status or fame in your friend group or among your class/workmates.” Sounded as if he was speaking from experience. - “Why do you sound like you’re speaking from experience?” she teased. - There was a brief moment of silence. “…Beeeee….caaaaaause I mmmmmmaaaaaay have done a few things that…could be qualified as such.” he responded, chuckling sheepishly. “N-nothing major, though.” - “Ooooooo~” she said, trying to sound like a studio audience. “What’d you do?” - The sheepish laughter intensified. “Aaaah…hm. You know those really, really hot peppers that are on the market?  Short and skinny of it is ‘Guys Night In’ and a game of ‘Truth or Dare’. It wasn’t a…Reaper? I think that’s what one of those are called? Only reason I know that is because I probably would’ve ended up in hospital, haha. I think it was aaaa….habenaro? One was, the other’s called  ‘Naga Jolokia’. Ate the habenaro with little issue, didn’t even get a full two bites into the other one before I was gulping down water like no tomorrow.” - “Oh noooo,” she laughed. “Oh nooo-ho-ho! That’s- That’s a ghost pepper, isn’t it?! Ah-ha-ha-ha!” She broke into a laughing fit. - His laughter became less sheepish and a bit more joyful. “Eeeeeeeyup, it is. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time, but hey. I will say, it did go better than when we played that one game with the Jelly Beans. …What’s it called? ‘Bean-Boozled’?” - “Yeah, it’s Bean-Boozled. Basically Bertie-Bott’s Every Flavor Beans but Jelly Belly brand. Dare I ask what could have happened when playing Bean-Boozled?” - “Weeeeell, plus side, I wasn’t the one who ended up with their face in a wastebasket.” he snickered. “The last few times we’d played, I kept getting the really gross flavours, and there was this joke that I was cursed. With our most recent game, the ‘curse’, I suppose, had reversed and the person who got all the good flavours last time got all the bad ones. He was fine up until…ugh, dead fish.” - “Ew-hew-hew!” she laughed. “Though, technically, all fish we eat is dead. It’d be pretty messy if we ate them alive… and gross… Say, that reminds me, you like scary movies, right? I have a question about zombies.” - “I doooooo. What’s your question?” - “How fast does a zombie need to eat before its victim becomes a zombie too and they don’t want to eat it? Like, zombies don’t eat other zombies, right? If you’re killed by a zombie, you become a zombie, right? How does that work?” - J.C. blinked, initially unsure how to answer. “That’s….actually a really good question. I like to think that it depends on the initial method of zombification. If it’s done via a curse, you’ve got a bit more time, whereas if it’s because of a virus, that time shortens, since you’ve got all this zombie saliva coming into contact with your blood. Blood takes about one minute to circulate through your entire body, so…you’d probably have to go all ‘pie-eating contest’ speed if your zombification is viral.” He stopped and thought for a minute. “Granted, you get bit regardless of the initial turning mechanism and still come into contact with their saliva…maybe one method is more virulent and fast-acting than the other? Kind of like how it can take something like food poisoning to show up in as little as half an hour to as long as four weeks, depending on what’s responsible for causing it.” - There was a long pause before Audrey replied with, “Huh… I don’t know what to do with this information… I’d write a story or something, but I don’t have the creativity for that. Hm… Maybe I should mention this to Adelyn… She’s good with this sort of thing.” - “Nor am I.” he chuckled, “Ah, Adelyn, eh? Friend of yours or a relative?” - “Relative,” she informed. “She’s my youngest cousin. She’s on the autism spectrum and is, like, really smart and creative.” - “Ah! Maybe she can tell me if the logic on my answer to your question seems sound.” All of a sudden, he heard a small sneeze outside the door, along with a small ‘THUD!’ and a young-sounding ‘Dangit!”. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “Hold on just a sec…” Getting up and walking towards his door, J.C. spoke to who he suspected was on the other side. “I know that’s you, petit singe. Are you eavesdropping?” “Noooooooo…a person can’t just chill against the wall in their own home?” “The wall that has their brother’s room on the other side?” “…All the other walls were taken?” - Though the voice was a bit faint, Audrey figured the little eavesdropper was Syd. “Tell her I said hi,” she called loudly, hoping J.C. could hear her from however far away from the computer he was. - “Can do!” he called back, before turning his voice back towards Syd. “Audrey says ‘hi’, by the way.” Syd gasped, “You’re talkin’ to her?!” She took a deep breath and shouted: “HI AAAAAAAUUUUDREEEEEEEY!!!” J.C., having been up against the door cringed and rubbed his ear a bit. Probably should have seen that coming… - “Oh wow, she’s got a set of lungs on her, huh?” she laughed. - “Tell me about it.” the older brother groaned slightly. “ ‘Kay! Soooo I’m gonna let yooooou twooooo get back to your conversation! Maybe we can do a chat later on; I don’t want to interrupt you two lovebirds~” the ten year old responded, laughing as she skipped away. Once she was gone, J.C. sat back down on his bed, rubbing his temple a bit. “Eheh…sorry about that. Siblings…” - “Never a dull moment, huh?” she chuckled. - “Never.” he laughed. - “Sooo… What were we talking about? … Oh, right; zombies. That reminds me; I punched a zombie once… Well, someone in a zombie costume… Did I tell you about that?” - “Pffffff! I don’t think you have…how’d that come about, anyway?” - “There was this haunted house a few years back. It was pretty intense, so children were required to have an adult with them. Well, these kids really wanted to go and every other adult they asked were either busy or flat out said no… So I wound up being that adult… Well, the haunted house did its job. I was on edge the whole time and, when one of the actors put his hand on my shoulder, I whirled around and punched out of reflex. I felt so bad! I kept apologizing and I even gave him a twenty dollar bill! I know they aren’t paid to be hit, but I had to do something!” - J.C. wheezed before collapsing into a fit of giggles. “Oooooh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho my lord!  That’s aw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-ful! Hilarious, as well, but still! But hey, at least you apologized.” - “The kids thought it was funny too,” she chuckled a bit. “Shame I got us kicked out.” - “Aw, that bites,”  the giggles started dying down a bit. “If it’s any consolation, I can be the designated adult if you and I are ever dragged to a place like that. I may let out a high pitch screech if I’m spooked, but I don’t think I’ll karate chop someone. At least, I haven’t yet…” - Audrey chuckled. “I’d appreciate that. I’m afraid my fight or flight response is just a fight response. Not a good scaring subject.” - J.C. snickered, “On the plus side, you at least know that. Better than running into a situation blindly and all confident, then end up running away.” - “As opposed to walking in scared and beating someone up? Not sure if I agree with that… If the person is innocent, anyway… I do wonder how I’d do, should I face a genuine threat… A non human threat, I mean. I know I can take humans.” - “Oh yeah, no; punching innocent people’s never a good idea. I’d imagine if you can pack that much of an unintentional punch on someone, intentionally punching can provide quite a…pack.” He chuckled sheepishly, “I was going somewhere with that. Sounded better in my head.” - Audrey snickered. “I think I get what you’re trying to say. I do imagine I’d do more damage from an intentional hit than I would a startled reflex.” - “D-D-D-D-D-Double comboooooo!” J.C. joked, mimicking a videogame announcer, “Nice hit!” - She laughed at that, having supervised enough sleepovers to recognize a video game reference when she heard one. “Which fighting game is that?” - “Aha, I’m not entirely sure if it is one? I was trying to go something ‘Mortal Kombat’ or ‘Punch-Out!!’-esque, but other than that…” - “Mortal Kombat’s the one with the ‘Finish him!’ line and the catchy theme song, right?” - “Indeed it is. I know there are a few newer versions out, but I prefer the older, less…aaah, gory ones.” - “You mean to tell me they get even gorier?! I saw some as a teenager and they were pretty dang gory.” - “I meeean….maybe more so in the way of being more realistic with the blood and guts and everything, but if you would qualify that as ‘gorier’, then yes.” - “Ahhh, I get it. I suppose that is gorier. It doesn’t matter how much red you add to a stick figure, I’m not really going to be affected by it.” - “To each their own. I suppose.” - “Hm? What do you mean? I thought we were agreeing,” she asked, confused. - “O-oh! I’m pretty sure we still are? I-I meant that in a…different context than what the original meaning of the phrase is? You’d said something about adding as much red as you can to a stick figure and it won’t affect you. I, ah, imagine it can be different for some? That…something like that would? “ J.C. chuckled sheepishly. “I was going somewhere with that, guess my train of thought got derailed…” - “…I think I was in the train when it got derailed because I have no idea where we are,” she laughed. - J.C. snickered before breaking into a short, impromptu song, “We’re goin’ off the rails with our trains of thooooooought…~!” - Audrey’s laughter increased with the song. “Oh my gosh! You are so silly!” - Her laughter had him laughing as well…aaaaand perhaps blushing just a bit. Good to see his dorkiness came in handy outside of cheering up a grumpy sibling or a bummed out friend. “I try, my dear, I try. Just how I am, I guess!” - She giggled softly at being called ‘dear,’ finding it both silly and charming. “Well, you succeed!” she chuckled. “What were we talking about? Fighting games? Something about fighting?” - “Something like that, yeah…come to think of it, how did we even get on that topic, anyway? What were we even talking about before that?” - “I have no idea. I don’t even really play video games. See, this is why I write things down; can’t remember a thing otherwise… Well, aside from the fact that Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. That’s about all that stuck with me from school.” - “I wouldn’t call myself a gamer, really. Kind of in the ‘I know just enough to keep myself from getting my butt completely kicked whenever one of the munchkins wants me to do a Pokemon battle with them’ camp. Maybe the occasional party game like those dancing ones, but otherwise…” J.C. chuckled, “What about ‘Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally’ for maths, or ‘Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492?’. Granted, that’s probably going back a looooong time, but hey.” - “I can play a bit of those Mario Party games, but that’s about it. I mostly button mash everything else. It’s amazing how often I win doing that…” she trailed off. “I know those too! It’s just the cotton gin thing stuck with me, for some reason. When will I ever need that information? Elementary school Jeopardy?” - “Haha, Iiiii’d imagine so. I remember when I was still in primary school, we had this ‘Bring-Your-Parent-To-School Day’ thing, and we did have something like that at one point. Kids vs. the parents. Sort of like…what’s the name of that one show? ‘Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?’. Pretty sure that show wasn’t around when I was that young, so your description’s probably more accurate.” - “I suppose you have a point there. I guess I can use it in a competition with my future kids,” she laughed. “Assuming I one day marry and have them or adopt them or what have you.” - “Same, honestly. I like to think I’ve gotten enough practice with ‘Thing 1′ and ‘Thing 2′, and having a kid of my own would be nice. It’s….different from having siblings, you actually have something that you had a hand in creating, and it’s like a little you.” He paused. “I mean…they’re obviously they’re own person, but half of their DNA is yours.” Cue a small sigh, “I dunno, having a tiny person thinking you’re the coolest thing ever for a time is a nice feeling. Kind of want to experience it on a different level than ‘older sibling-younger sibling’.” Cue another pause, then a somewhat sheepish chuckle, “That…aaaah, I didn’t mean to dump all that on you at once. Had an idea and ran with it. I hope that made at least some sense.” - Audrey giggled, pleased with his ramble. She liked the way this man thought. “Oh, no worries. I like listening to people talk about things that make them happy, especially when it’s about kids. And I know what you mean. I can’t help but wonder what a biological child of mine might look like. What traits of mine might they inherit? That sort of thing.” - “Basically a game of ‘roll the genetic dice and see what happens’, I guess. Sometimes it can be a little scary if you’ve got some potentially harmful stuff in your history, but otherwise it’s kind of cool.” A thought occurred to J.C., evidenced by the sudden change in expression on his face. “…I wonder if anyone’s ever had a child that’s exactly half of one parent and half of the other. Like one side of their head has curly hair and the other side is straight? I guess that could happen with multiples, but I don’t know about a singular child…” - “I don’t think that’s possible,” she scratched her head as she thought. “I know eyes can be two different colors, but I don’t think you can have two types of hair on the same head… Not naturally, anyway. I mean, my hair is kind of in-between Mom’s waves and Dad’s curls… Probably closer to Dad in that respect. Can’t style it very well… It’s not both though.” - “Mm.” He nodded as he listened to Audrey’s thought process. “Guess it all depends on what exactly the DNA wants to do when, for lack of a better term, building someone from scratch happens. ‘You get your mom’s eyes, your dad’s hair, the dimples of some relative a few generations back…’. Genetics are weird.” - “Tell me about it. Dad has no freckles, Mom has a few, I have a ton. Apparently, there’s some hidden super freckle gene somewhere in my family.” - J.C. chuckled, “Guess so. I don’t know a whole lot about what ran in mine, other than brown hair from my mother and…” he paused, “I know there was something on my father’s side, though what it is is escaping me at the moment…” - Audrey figured he must be having difficulty remembering as it’s been so long since his biological family was alive. Deciding it better to change the subject before he delves too deep into such a topic, Audrey thought up a distraction. “Do you remember that thing in school where you draw a square consisting of four smaller squares to figure out possible gene combinations or whatever? I forget what it’s called…” - J.C. thought for a minute; that sounded really familiar… “The thing where you put, like…uppercase ‘B’ for brown eyes and lowercase ‘b’ for blue eyes? I believe it’s a Punnett Square?” - “Yeah! That’s it! You’d think figuring out the odds of certain traits would be more complicated than drawing a few squares, but, there it is.” - He chuckled, “I know, right? Apparently, you can use them in…I believe it’s algebra, as well, but it’s a little more complicated there. ‘Square this number, multiply these two’…” - “Oh, gosh; not algebra!” she yelped in faux terror before chuckling. The two went on talking for a good while after that, but ultimately had to end the call. Finding such a thing quite enjoyable, Audrey made sure to call J.C. again… and again… and again. They’d even gotten to the point where they did video calls. It practically became a routine, but there were still interesting moments to be had. “Check it out! I got a wireless headphone microphone thingy!” Audrey chirped excitedly, waving her hand around her head to show there were no wires. “Now I can still talk to you, even if I step away from the computer a little!” - J.C. let out a playful, dramatic gasp at the reveal. “Ah, fantastique! You’re not confined to having to be close to the computer like I am.” he joked, pulling at his headphone cord a bit, “I have one of those microphones that are built into the computer, but I’m definitely planning on upgrading to a more ‘external’ one soon…seven to ten business days to be exact, should the delivery go without a hitch. Merci, online shopping~” - “Tell me about it! Present shopping has never been so convenient~ Also,” Audrey clapped, summoning Lola to jump onto the couch with her. “No more nearly knocking down the computer whenever Lola wants attention!” - J.C. chuckled at the little pup, “Ah, bonjour, Lola!” “Did you say Lola!?” came a voice from outside his door. “Can I see ‘er? Please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase?” The older brother playfully rolled his eyes, “Oh lord, sounds like I said the magic word. You don’t mind Kat popping in for a bit, do you?” - Audrey chuckled and shook her head. “Not at all~ Let me just turn the speakers on so Lola can hear her. You like the attention, don’t you, girl~?” she cooed as she pet her head. - J.C. gave the two a small smile before turning towards his door. “Entrez!” With a small creak, in came Kat, bounding towards her brother’s bed. Thankfully, he didn’t have to worry about as much damage being done once she flopped onto it, as Kat was a good deal smaller than Syd. No real worries about his laptop flying off of the bed and onto the floor or the screen getting kicked in. Once she was on the bed, Kat crawled towards the webcam and made herself comfortable, smiling widely and cooing at the dog. “Hiiiiya, Lola! Hiya, Audrey!” - “Hiya, Kat!” Audrey returned the greeting as Lola stood up and wagged her tail at the excited voice. “Who’s that?” she asked playfully, getting a bark from her dog. “Yes! It’s Kat! Such a good girl~” she gave Lola a generous petting - The eight year old giggled at the dog’s response. “Kinda bites that you guys are so far away, an’ that I can’t reach through the screen an’ give her some pets…but seeing you two’s okay enough! How’ve you been?” - “I’m giving her plenty of pets for you,” she giggled, petting the dog. “Work’s been a little overwhelming here and there, but Lola and your brother have been doing a good job of helping me wind down. What about you? School treating you okay?” - “Uh-huh!”, the little girl nodded,  “Right now we’re doing our sevens times tables in maths and we’re reading Sideways Stories from Wayside School. We’re supposed to be starting this really cool science experiment next week, but I dunno what exactly it is, ‘cos our teacher’s keeping it a secret.” “Maybe you’re doing the ‘butterfly life cycle observation’ thing.” J.C. commented, “I remember doing that a few times in primary school.” - “Oooo, that sounds fun~ Glad that you’re enjoying yourself. School takes up a lot of time, so, best enjoy it, if you can. Maybe you can give Syd some pointers on that.” Syd struck her as someone who didn’t enjoy school much. - “I meeeean, I dunno what exactly it is they do in Year 6, but I can try? She likes when they do more ‘science-y’ stuff and reading more action-packed stories, than having to learn history or maths….buuuut I can try!”   J.C. smirked at his sister’s confidence. “Well, you know the saying: ‘Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it’.” - “Well… there’s a lot of action in history?” she shrugged. “Though that’s rarely a good thing in real life… And you need to know math in order to properly do science. Lots of equations and all that.” - “Yeeeeah, true. But I guess you gotta explain stuff in a way that’ll make it sound interesting with ‘er. Not totally sure how you could make maths interesting.” The older brother snickered, “Maybe if the question’s something like…’If there are 96 pieces of chewing gum in a candy machine and there are 8 friends, how many pieces does each friend get?’. Something that she can kind of relate to. Or at the very least, reword the question, but keep the same numbers.” - “I’d imagine she’d say something along the lines of, ‘Depends on who has to figure it out. They’ll get more than the rest.’ Gotta be careful with how you word these things,” she wagged a finger. - J.C. laughed, “She would. Or ‘Why would they be sharing, that’s 96 whole pieces of gum right there!’.” “I do know she likes when her class gets to do creative assignments, too.” Kat piped up, “Like when they have a spelling list, but get to write a story that uses the words in it. Or when they make a scene from something or a model in a shoe box.” “…A diorama?” “Yeah, that! She tends to make a big mess when she’s making it, but the end product’s pretty good…and she has fun doin’ it too.” - “That’s good! See, you’ve gotta focus on the good with these things. Focus on the bad and you’ll make yourself miserable. I mean, there are difficult aspects to my job, but I try to focus on the fact I’m helping people get healthy and/or stay healthy. Just remind her something good will come soon enough, you know?” - Kat gave Audrey a salute, “Can do!” “It takes a bit of patience, too.” J.C. added, “I know she wants to do some of the experiments that I did in secondary school and uni, but…well, you need to learn to crawl before you can walk, and know how to walk before you can run.” “It’s hard, though, when you’re little.” Kat piped up. “Trust me, I know. And I’m pretty sure Audrey knows too; we were both your age once.” - “Exactly,” Audrey nodded. “I used to get frustrated with what I wasn’t allowed to do, but, looking back, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t go baking a cake without learning to crack an egg first.” - “…Ssssoooo she can’t exactly go sledding down the stairs without knowing how to steer the sled first?” J.C. snickered, “I mean, in theory, yeah, but you shouldn’t be doing that anyway because you could get seriously hurt. And that’s regardless of how many pillows you’ve tied to yourself, how many you’ve put at the bottom of the stairs, and with wearing knee and elbow pads and a helmet.” - “Even if you somehow managed not to get hurt, I can’t imagine it would be much fun. I mean, it’d probably be a really bumpy ride. I’d much rather sled in the snow.” - “But then we’d have to go waaaaaaay up north if we wanted snow. It almost never comes this far south.” Kat pouted. “If you want some deep snow, yes, but I think if we a tad bit as opposed to- as you put it- ‘waaaaaaaay’, it’d be fine. Maybe even go a bit west, as well.” J.C. looked to Audrey, “How much snow would you say you get over by you?” - “How much snow?” Audrey proceeded to cackle for a good long time before holding up a finger, asking for a moment to compose herself. “Sorry,” she cleared her throat. “We just get so much snow! I mean it. A lot. A little snow for us would be two feet deep. There’s a reason we have snowplows over here.” - Kat gasped excitedly. “We gotta go to Michigan for sledding!!” J.C. sputtered, laughing a little, “So you’d be willing to take a half-a-day flight just to go sledding? Not one that’d be maybe an hour, hour and a half at most?” “Yeah! ‘Sides, you’d be able to go an’ see Audrey! Us too, obviously, but still!” - “Oh, come now, it wouldn’t just be sledding… There’s making snowmen too,” she giggled. “Not to mention the feeling of coming inside from the cold and warming up with some hot chocolate.” - “And snow angels and snowball fights!” the little girl bounced excitedly. - Audrey chuckled. “Now, now, don’t get too excited. We don’t even know if this winter visit will happen.” - “Can it, thooooough?” Kat asked, giving the two the “puppy dog pout/puppy dog eyes” combo. As much as the older brother would love that, doing so was dependent on a lot of factors.  “Iiiiiit’s a bit too early to say yes or no, sooooo…I guess we can chalk it up as a ‘we’ll see’?” - “It’s not up to me, kiddo,” she gave the child a shrug. “I’d certainly welcome you, but I can’t exactly fly you over here.” - “Awww…” “Hey, it’s not a ‘no’.” J.C. pointed out, trying to make the situation a bit more positive. - “There’s still plenty of time to figure it out,” Audrey offered. “I mean, school only started a few weeks ago over here. It’s still pretty warm out.” - “Yeah. You’re telling me you want to skip out on your birthday and Halloween and just go straight to winter?” J.C joked. Kat let out a small gasp and shook her head ‘no’. “Theeeeeeeeen you have to wait, kiddo.” - Audrey chuckled. "I’m looking forward to pumpkin spice season, myself.” - “I love fall.” J.C. sighed, thoroughly content. “Part of it being the pumpkin spice, part of it the cooler weather…” “Part of it being that you can toss me into leaf piles.” Kat added, grinning. The brother snorted, “That’s something that you love, goofball…buuuuut I do get a good laugh out of it. Next time we get a deep enough pile, you’re getting launched.” Kat responded with her arms joyously shooting upwards, and a happy “Yay!” - Audrey let out a small giggled, one of joy more than humor. She really liked seeing this man get along so well with children. This man was destined to be a father, she thought to herself as she smiled dreamily. - “Maybe if you and Syd team up, you can launch me.” he joked. Kat scoffed before laughing, “Yeeeeah, maybe not? Now, Audrey probably could! Either with us or by herself!” - The laughter snapped her out of her dreamy state and she laughed too. “I can’t guarantee a soft landing if I do.” - “He’s had worse!” Kat snickered, imagine Audrey doing just as she stated. J.C. smiled and rolled his eyes at the blonde and ruffled her hair a bit, “Alright, alriiiight…hey, did you finish your homework yet?” Kat shook her head no. “I was takin’ a break. Guess I should get back to it?” J.C. nodded, “Then when you’re done, we’ll go over it….maybe practice some of your multiplication flash cards?” “ ‘Kay….but you promised we would have a tea party after that and dinner, remember?” “Of course I do. You, me, and Mr. Bunnysworth are going over the details of the deed to your dollhouse.” The way he said it sounded so matter-of-fact. Kat giggled at her goofball brother before turning to Audrey and Lola, “Sounds like I gotta get goin’. I’ll talk you guys later!” - Audrey giggled again. These two were adorable! “Talk to you later,” she smiled and waved goodbye. Once Kat was gone, Audrey turned the sound back to her headphones. “Tea party, huh? Since you’re in England, do you have actual tea at those?” - J.C. smiled and blew a bit of air out of his nose, “Occasionally, yeah. Kind of a toss up between that or some juice. In the winter, she’ll use hot cocoa.” - Audrey chuckled. “That’s basically what we do over here. That or we just sip on air. It’s usually air, unless we’re using real cups. Those play tea cups are so tiny.” - “I know, right? You have to take teeeeeeny tiny sips if you want it to last the whole party. Like a little mouse or something.” - “Imagine if you were trying to actually hydrate with one of those,” she snickered. - “Oh jeez. If you drink out of them like a normal human being, it’s almost like doing shots.” He paused for a second. “…Oooor at least, how I imagine one would do them. Never done them myself. The occasional glass of wine on special occasions or on vacation, but otherwise…” - Audrey snorted. “I just imagined someone doing shots of tea, but instead of getting drunk, they just get more and more English!” - “Ha! I could start out sounding like this.…” He mimicked downing a few cups of tea before speaking again in a “fancier” accent: “…to something like this. And as the day goes on, it just….waters itself down.” - Audrey couldn’t help but cackle at the demonstration. Once she calmed down, she glanced at the clock and spoke again. “Oh goodness; is that the time? I need to let Lola out before she messes on the floor. Be right back!” She darted off camera to let Lola outside. While outside, her headphones were out of range of her computer, so neither of them could hear each other. With the silence, Audrey managed to forget she was wearing the headphones at all. Making her way back inside (and back in range of her computer), she sang softly to herself as she went about getting Lola a treat. - “Can’t be having that now! You two go do your thing, I’ll be over here.” As the two went off, J.C. took the time to readjust a few things with his computer, answer an e-mail, comment on a friend’s photo. His ears perked up a bit when he picked up the sound of Audrey’s voice again. Was she…? She was. He’d heard her sing once already (he had joined in, after all~), but regardless of that, she sounded lovely. Cue a bit of pink coloring his cheeks. - As she made her way back to the computer, she stopped singing and went about taking the headphones from around her neck and putting them back over her ears. “Sorry about that,” she sat back down with a smile, oblivious to the fact he’d heard her. - “Huh? Oh! Oh, it’s no big deal.” He chuckled sheepishly, “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.” Cue the blush getting a bit more noticeable. Seemed to be that she was unaware that he could hear her… - Audrey raised her brow at this and cocked her head slightly to the side. “You feeling alright?” - Ah, crud, he’d been caught. “You, ah….” he gestured to where her headset had been. “You had forgotten to take your headset off, and I caught a bit of you singing when you came back in. N-not that that’s a bad thing! I thought i-i-i-i-it sounded lovely…” - “Oh? Oh!” she brought her fingertips to her mouth for a moment, then brought them back down with an embarrassed smile. “Ah-ha… Oops… Thank you?” - “Eheh…heh…aaaah, no problem…” Well, this was awkward. - “What were we talking about?” she twirled some hair around her fingers as she tried to distract from what had just happened. - “Tea parties and fancy accents, I believe?” J.C. answered, going back to said “fancy” accent as a joke. - Audrey tittered and the two went back to talking. As time went by, the leaves turned color, the temperature got colder, and their online chats became more frequent. “Since Halloween is right around the corner, I have an idea I want to toss out there, if you’re interested.” - J.C., currently in a rather “spooky” sweater, looked up from his hot cocoa, curious. “Shoot. What’cha got rattlin’ around in that brain of yours?” - “You know how I don’t watch horror movies because I don’t want to hurt someone on accident or watch it alone? Well, I can’t really hurt anyone if they aren’t physically in the room with me,” she grinned a bit slyly. “Could be something a bit different, you know?” - “Oooo-hoo-hoo, I like~ So! How should we start out with this? Something super tame like….well, I mean Hotel Transylvania isn’t a horror movie, but it has monsters in it…or do we go for the big guns like The Grudge?” - “I was thinking an actual horror movie. My cousin Chloe got me a nice mountain of horror movie files to choose from. She may have been a bit over zealous though,” she chuckled. “I doubt I’ll ever watch them all. Anyway, I can send the files your way and we can watch it on that Let’s Gaze website we tested out before.” - J.C. laughed as well, “Fine by me! Anything in said mountain that’s catching your eye? I’m not super picky with what we watch.” - “Chloe did mention that some of them can have a bit of humor or ridiculousness to them. What were some of them? Child’s Play… Scream… The Cabin in the Woods… Any of those sound good?” - Taking a sip of his drink as Audrey listed off a few titles, he perked up at the last one. “Oooo, Cabin in the Woods, let’s go with that.” - “I take it you like that one?” she smiled as she went about sending him a link to download the file. - “It’s actually one I haven’t seen,” he clarified, “Child’s Play and Scream, I have seen, albeit a few years ago. Figured I’d start with something ‘new’ before going towards more familiar, y’know?” - “Sounds good. When do you think you’ll have time to sit and watch a whole movie with me?” - “Mmmmm, probably sometime a little later this week? Have a few ‘autumnal’ things that are going on with the family, so I might not be able to find some free time before then. I can keep you posted, though!” - “Is it apple picking?” Audrey asked enthusiastically. “Or throwing your sisters into leaf piles? Pumpkin picking?” - “All 3~” he smiled, “Maybe some preliminary costume searching as well.” - “Ooooooo~ Sounds like you’ve got some busy days ahead of you! My mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and cousins are all going apple picking with me next week! We’re all gonna get some fresh air, pick some apples, make some apple treats… that sort of thing~” - “Ooo, sounds fun! Maybe I can suggest that to Mum and Dad; apple-flavoured stuff- rather, stuff made from apples- sounds really good right now. Plus, it can give Syd a chance to put some of her energy towards climbing some trees.” - “I can send you some recipes, if you need any,” she offered. - “Ooo, that’d be lovely, actually. Spice things up a bit in terms of autumnal snacks, you know?” - Audrey’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the concept of sharing recipes. “Oh! Oh! I have lots of recipes! What do you think you might want; pies, crisps, cobblers, muffins, cakes, cider, applesauce, fritters, breads?!” - Dang, she really DID have a lot of recipes! And they all sounded really nummy~ “Man, you weren’t kidding!” he laughed, “Hm, where do I even start? Maybe we can start with fritters and muffins and go from there.” - “Good choice~ I’ll be sure to send those your way.” She reached for her notebook off camera and jotted down a reminder. “Maybe I could add a nice apple drink recipe in there. Gotta wash those treats down with something~” - “Oo, even better. Kind of like a little bonus treat.“ - Audrey giggled at that. “A treat for your treats~” - J.C. let out a giggle as well…with an unintentional snort. Upon realizing that he had done so, his face went a bit pink. He was still smiling, though, so that was a good sign. - She didn’t comment on the snort. She didn’t want to embarrass him, especially when she did the same thing. “It’s a shame you live so far away. It’d be fun to bake together, I bet!” - He stopped for a second, a thought occurring to him. If they could talk to each other while being in two different parts of the world, what was to stop them from baking? “Unless…we do the baking, but like how we’re doing now. Find some sort of set up to where we can place our computers or phones or whatever out of the ingredient ‘splash zone’, and check on each other’s progress along the way. Baking together, but not physically together, if that makes any sense.” - “We should totally do that,” she exclaimed. “I wonder what we should make. I’d suggest an apple dish, but I don’t go apple picking until next week. Heh. Maybe we should try something simple, just to test it out?” She put a finger to her mouth in thought. “Perhaps a no-bake pumpkin pie? Still autumn themed. Do you guys have boxes of instant pudding over in England? Maybe we should make something with more common ingredients. Hmm… Oh! Pumpkin bread!” - “Oh definitely; do a test run, see how that goes, and then go from there!” J.C. agreed. “Do we have instant pu…I actually might have to check the next time I go out for groceries. Pumpkin bread might be a better option to start with, at least. I know for a fact that we have the stuff to make it here.” - “I’ll have to Google this sort of thing later,” she mused aloud. “I know you guys don’t have graham crackers over there. I’m guessing you’d use shortbread crust for pies in place of graham cracker ones…” - “Usually, yeah, or we use digestive biscuits in place of them. They may have them in the ‘’American’‘ section of a grocery store, but it depends on the store.” - Audrey nodded. “It really is wild how similar, yet different, our foods can be. I’ll try to look through my recipes for ones that are more basic. Here in the states, we tend to use shortcuts that you may not have; like instant pudding.” - “Right? And it can mean something completely different too. The kind that you’re talking about is usually called ‘custard’. If you look up ‘Yorkshire pudding’, that’s usually what we mean. Haggis is technically considered one. …English is weird.” - “Haggis?!” she asked with a weird face. “You’re right. English is weird.” She scrunched her nose. “I’m not going to lie here; if I asked for chocolate pudding and got haggis, I would be very disappointed.” - J.C. laughed, “Same, honestly. I mean, the food itself actually isn’t all that bad; it’s just the way it’s made that makes it sound gross…and…maybe some of what’s in it. To each their own, I suppose.” He shrugged, “I’ve only had it a few times that I can remember; usually when we’ve gone to visit one of my aunts up in Scotland.” - “I’ve never had it myself, but I know it doesn’t taste like chocolate pudding. Hence why I would be disappointed. I’m generally down to try anything at least once.” She thought a moment. “Scotland, huh? Is it as pretty as the pictures?” - “Always a plus.” he smiled. “I’d say so, yeah. One of my favourite places that we sometimes stop over in is Edinburgh, it’s kind of got a fairy tale-esque feel to it. Where my aunt lives is a bit further south, over in Dumfries; more of a riverside kind of town. If you go north enough in the winter, you’re able to see the northern lights, apparently. Haven’t had a chance to myself, unfortunately. I mean, we’ve been pretty far north there that time of year, but never at a point where we can catch ‘em.” - “Oh, that sounds lovely,” she smiled. “Maybe you could ask your relatives to send you pictures, since you haven’t been able to catch them yourself. Oh! Another name for the northern lights is the aurora borealis, right? Sounds all scientific that way,” she chuckled. - He laughed, “Indeed it does. …Y’know, that actually sounds like a good idea. Knowing my luck, if you and I got together just for that, there’d be a wicked snowstorm that moves in on the night we’d be seeing them.” Of course, the alternative of being all snuggled up indoors by a fireplace with some hot cocoa with her wasn’t bad. - She cocked her head slightly, a bit curious, but kept her smile all the same. How exactly did he feel about her if one of his first thoughts about the northern lights would be seeing them with her? “Well, I’m sure we’d find other things to do. Maybe hot cocoa and a crackling fire? I love those~” Seemed she had a similar mindset. - “Maybe in some comfy pyjamas, under one of those weighted blankets.” he added, goofy grin starting to sprawl across his face“…Ooooor a lightweight but super fluffy one. Either or.” - “Oooo~ Both are good! Might depend on how warm the fire makes everything.” She chuckled. “Here we go; talking about a fictional snowstorm. Our conversations sure are something, aren’t they? I was supposed to remember something…” Audrey opened her notebook. “Oh, yeah! I’m supposed to get you some recipes and find one we can both cook together!” Looking off screen, she spotted Lola. “Looks like Lola wants O-U-T and I need to look for some recipes, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?” - “Right, right! That should be fun; here’s hoping that when we do do that, the internet says running smoothly the entire time. Nothing worse that trying to get an exact amount of something from someone, and the connection starts to glitch.” At the mention of Lola, J.C. blew a bit of air out of his nose, smiling. “Haha, silly pup. You go on ahead; I’ll catch up with you later!” -End-

Three Dog Night, Part 2. Part 1 is here. 

Author’s Note: This is a Modern AU John/Stephan fic. I’m pulling from both the LJG novellas and the main books, so I guess this could be considered “spoilery” so proceed at your own caution. Honestly, I just wrote Part 1 as a one shot and more story keeps coming. I hope you enjoy!!! Sorry for any formatting stuff, it might be a little hard to read on mobile. 

Part 2: Strudel, Nudel and JEFF

Stephan pulled the couple’s Ford Fiesta up the circular drive, in behind and assortment of Land Rovers and Volkswagen vans. John got out and stretched in the sunshine, before opening the back door so Strudel, Nudel, and Jeff could hop down and take off for the garden, where voices and the smell of smoke carried. Stephan joined him, wrapping an arm around his waist and they walked in together.

It was the usual family madness. Football had broken out in the back field, what looked to be a boys versus girls match. John could see the red glint of his cousin-in-law Malcom’s hair. His wife, Olivia, had cornered Minnie and Maude near the herb garden. John heard Olivia rhapsodizing about something called moondust and kept walking, ignoring Minnie’s ‘Please Rescue Me’ stare . George and Edgar were standing over the grill in outmost concentration, both trying to outdo the other’s deep understanding of how to make a burger. And the telltale scent of a certain plant meant his brother Hal had retreated to the sunken garden for “quiet time.”

John found his mother in the kitchen, decanting Pimms into a large punch bowl. She hugged him one armed in greeting and gave Stephan a continental kiss. Her blue patterned caftan and silver bracelets made her look like the High Priestess of some cult, and John found fitting.

“Oh John, I’m so glad you were able to make it. I trust work hasn’t been too busy?” Benedicta asked, with added emphasis that implied that the excuse was getting old.

“Nice to see you too, mum.” John replied. “What potion are you making here?” He asked, looking at what seemed to be the varied output of a farmer’s market slowly begin to float in Pimms.

“Oh, it’s from a new cookbook we’re copyediting right now, a summer cocktail. Basically enough Pimms to knock down a horse with some seven pound an ounce fancy juice.” She rolled her eyes. “I wanted to try it out and see if people actually liked it.” Benedicta ran, and had run a highly successful publishing company for nearly forty years, and there was always a new recipe or author at the dinner table.

Stephan’s phone chimed with the Facetime noise, and he slipped it out of his pocket and took it, grinning and waving at the yelling voices on the other end. “Leibchens!” So it was Louisa calling with their sons (Louisa’s from a first marriage and the one she’d had with Stephan). He grinned abashedly at John and Benedicta and moved off into the family room, beginning an animated conversation in German.

Benedicta set the Pimms aside and handed John a small shot glass and a wedge of lime, before taking up her own. They both downed them in a smooth motion, slamming the shots down and biting into the lime wedges. Benedicta pointed to the compost bin. Her next question made him gag as if the tequila had been replaced with grain alcohol.

“When are you going to give that nice man a baby, John?”

He sputtered and started, and began to grow red, but not from the liquor. “Mum.”

“I’m serious. Don’t think I notice him trying to fill that tiny flat you have with dogs.”

“The first problem being that neither of us lack the necessary fac...”

“Adoption. Fostering. Surrogacy.”

“Our lives are extremely complicated right now.”

“You’re thirty six. Your life will continue to grow ‘extremely complicated’ and then you will be in a nursing home.”

That forced John to subside into silence for a moment. “It’s not as if you don’t have grandchildren of your own.” He countered. “You can’t be greedy.” He peered out into the sunshine. “Certainly, a few short of an association team...”

“We are talking about you, John.”

“I see. I think you’re also missing the crucial step where Stephan and I are … married.” The word felt odd to say, as if it weighed more.

“Nonsense, when have I ever been concerned with that?” Minnie, of course, was several months pregnant when she and Hal had eloped, Benedicta hadn’t even batted an eye and simply asked if she wanted help to decorate the nursery.

As if summoned, Minnie appeared with an empty glass. She eyed the punch bowl warily but let Benedicta take her drink and fill it up anyways. “What are we talking about?” She asked, taking a sip and smiling.

“John needs to have a baby.” Benedicta said succinctly.

“John prefers not to have his private matters discussed with an audience.”

Minnie glanced between the two and then shrugged. “With Stephan? It would be cute.”

“That’s not possible, it wouldn’t look like us.” John said.

Minnie took a sip. “Well, you’re both blond. I guess if you both, you know, tossed your hats in the ring,” She suggested, waggling her brows. “You wouldn’t know until he either got tall or stayed short.”

“Ah, yes, thank you, Minerva, for that observation.” John rolled his eyes.

Minnie shot a look at Benedicta. “How did this come up? Is it because Stephan got another dog?”

Benedicta nodded, sliding a carton of berries into the punchbowl.

Minerva nodded back. Something passed unspoken between them and John did not like it.

“We’re both exceptionally bus..” He started, but the founder of a publishing company and the linguistics professor stared at him so intently he felt the words shrivel up and die in his mouth.

“You just hire help, if you need it.” Minerva replied. “God knows you have the money. Are you worried about being a father? Because you’re a very good uncle and a generally good person, so I don’t think you’d make a bad father.”

“This… this is an unhelpful extrapolation from flawed data. Stephan likes dogs. He saw another one, and brought it home. His need for canine companionship does not correlate to our need, or lack thereof, to procreate.” The collar of his shirt felt rather tight, even if he was wearing a polo. “Stephan has a son, he visits him all the time.”

Benedicta looked up from stirring the literal bowl and nodded. “Our family blended together just fine.” She stated, as if confirming a fear John hadn’t even been aware of five minutes before.

Minnie rubbed his arm in sympathy. “We just want you to have a full life, John. No pressure or anything. But if you want to be  dad, it might do to start thinking about it now, since so many of the options take time.” She said, gently, but firmly.

“Thank you.” John said to both of them, picking up a ladle and pouring himself a drink from the bowl. “I appreciate it, even if I don’t appreciate your ambush tactics.”

Hal popped into the kitchen, tucking his vape pen into his shirt pocket. “George and Edgar have cooked all the meat in the county, if you three are ready for dinner.”

“Bring the punch, John.” Benedicta ordered.

  John leaned against the car door, stomach full of hamburgers and Pimms. The countryside flipped by like one of those old films, just fields and fences and sometimes the moonlit body of a cow. Stephan was humming along happily with the music, some new pop sensation. All three of the dogs were slumped in the back, fast asleep.

“Mom cornered me, while you were on the phone with Siggy and Sascha.” He said, to break the silence.

Stephan grinned. “Are you telling me you don’t enjoy doing tequila shots with Benedicta?” He asked, making John laugh.

“No.” He said after a moment. “It was about us. She thinks that because you got Jeff, it means… She thinks we should have kids. Together.” It all came out in a rush, and he looked straight ahead at the road.

Stephan furrowed his brows, thinking. Everyone thought Stephan was endlessly cheerful, because that’s where he usually ended up, emotionally. John knew him better, knew that Stephan was in touch with all of his emotions, moreso than most people, which made it worrying talking about big things. Stephan was always so vulnerable and open, while John was always more reserved. Cracking himself open came naturally to Stephan, and John was always a little afraid he was going to disappoint him.

“Do you want children?” Stephan asked.

That had thrown John for a loop. His first instinct was to shout “Of course! Doesn’t everyone?”, but part of him never really considered the possibility.

“I mean…” He tried. “I don’t… not… want them.” He answered.

Stephan smiled. “I have Siggy and Sascha, yes? And they bring me joy. I would love any child we had.” He added. “I think we should think about it.” He finished, excitedly.

John sighed, somehow relieved and still as confused as he’d been a minute before.

Both men lapsed again into silence, watching the car eat up the lines of the road and the fields flicker by, turning slowly to busier and busier roads as they made their way back into the city.

They were ten miles outside London when Stephan spoke again.

“You know, if we are going to have children, we’d have to get married first.”

Pen Pals

(A roleplay between my Audrey muse and @red-rad-and-rod .) It had been about a week since Audrey met J.C. and his siblings. It was kind of hard to miss them, given Lola seemingly bee-lined towards them during their stay at the park. She was grateful for her pooch’s detour, however, as the three proved to be good company (as did their father, who they had lunch with.) She wasn’t sure how long she should wait before emailing J.C., but figured a week was a long enough wait to not seem overly eager. She did originally intend to only send pictures of the dogs to show his sisters, but now she wanted to talk to him too. She decided to start slow, with a simple email. This is J.C., right? It’s Audrey, from Michigan. Here are some pictures of Lola in some flowers. She wasn’t supposed to be in them, but I just had to snap a few pictures before I got her out! Let me know how you three like them! She hoped asking for a response would lead the way to them talking about more than dogs.

- Ping! Oh, thank goodness, something to actually respond to! Surfing through a seemingly never ending list of ads for things he didn’t need was starting to get tiresome. A few clicks later, J.C. found himself searching through his e-mail. Hmm…junk. Junk. E-mail from Audrey- wait. E-mail from Audrey? … Ah, right! That was who he met over in Michigan when he and the family were over in Michigan! Man…even though they had only hung out for a little bit, he missed her. Her beautiful smile, her cute giggle…sigh~ Snapping out of his little lovestruck trance, he went ahead and read through the message, snickering a bit as he got a glimpse of Lola being a goofball. A short while later (mainly after Syd and Kat stopped squealing over the little pup), he sent back a reply: Yyyyup, it is! At least, that’s what people have been calling me for 23 years… Ahaha, I kid, I kid. 😋 What a little goofball! She’s such a sweetie. Syd and Kat seem to think so too, given the fact that they’ve been fawning over her for the past fifteen minutes or so. And reignited the whole “Mum, Dad, let’s get a dog!” debate, but that’s to be expected. How have things been over by you? - Audrey wasn’t the type to live on her phone or computer, so it was a good thing she had written a note to herself to check her email later. Upon coming home that evening and checking her notebook of reminders, she brought up her email and took a look. She chuckled at J.C.’s response and promptly began typing a reply, pleased he wanted to chat. (Or was at least acting like he wanted to, in order to be polite.) Ohhh deeaarrr XD I hadn’t intended to start a debate. Could you please tell them I’m sorry? Anyway, things have been pretty ordinary over here. Weather is still pretty nice, so I’ve been taking Lola on longer walks. She got a little over excited today though and ran into someone’s garden, as you saw. I was sure to tell her no… after I stopped laughing and taking pictures! XD So, how have things been on your end? - After hitting send, J.C. had to think…did it sound like he seem interested? Did he sound bored? Should he have added more emojis? …Nah, maybe that would’ve been a bit excessive. Maybe a little immature…who knows, maybe Audrey would have thought that Syd or Kat took hold of his computer. Now came the waiting game. He would’ve done a bit more internet browsing, if he hadn’t have been dragged outside by Syd for a game of football. That was probably a more productive way to spend his time, anyway. No real need to worry. (…) Later on, now relaxing with a cup of tea, he went back on and found a reply. Haha, I will! They’ve been getting that for years, but I’m sure they’d appreciate the regards. Glad to see the weather’s manageable. Kind of makes me wish I was back there; right now, we’ve had a couple of gales come through. Nothing too bad, but having to be stuck inside for most of the day. Plus side, it’s supposed to clear up soon. Oooooh, Lola, what’s your mum going to do with you? 😂 Kind of reminds me of this time when Syd was a toddler…she’d done the same thing with our next-door neighbour’s back garden. I’ll have to send the picture in my next e-mail, but the end result was her being held (gently, of course) by her overall straps by our neighbour’s sheepdog! - Audrey discovered his reply the following morning. While she sent her reply early, it was likely the afternoon over where J.C. was. Wish you were here for the weather? Are you sure you don’t just want to see me? HA! I kid. I kid. We barely know each other. Aaaanywaaaaay… A sheepdog holding a toddler? That sounds both hilarious and adorable! You have GOT to send me that picture! Let’s just hope karma doesn’t come back to bite me. Mom and Dad recorded EVERYTHING when I was a kid. They have soooo many VHS tapes in the basement. Photo albums too. For a non-photogenic child, they sure loved taking pictures of me. - Why did time zones have to be a thing? He could respond at ten in the morning, and it’d only be five A.M. over by her…ah well. Upon reading Audrey’s response, he couldn’t help but blush a little. Okay, yeah, part of it was the weather, but part of it was because he wanted to see her. Weeeeell, that would be a major plus, if I’m being honest. …Does that sound creepy? Jeez, I hope it doesn’t; virtual communication’s tricky that way. 😓. If it did sound that way, I do apologize! Guess, ah…guess I should get on with the rest of this reply. Heheh… Don’t worry, little me wasn’t exactly the poster child for being photogenic, either. Guess it must be a parent thing…mine were the same way. I’ve made sure to bury one of the albums that has the MOST embarrassing ones as deeply as I can in storage, but somehow they keep finding it. Speaking of ‘embarrassing’ photos… Ask and ye shall receive~ Not going to lie, her face still cracks me up; sort of like she’s saying “Curses! Foiled again!”

- Audrey was pleasantly surprised to see that J.C. seemed to enjoy her company as well. Aw, really? You’re sweet~ <3 Don’t worry; no creepiness detected! Well, you know parents and their magic able-to-find-stuff powers. You could search for something for hours and they’ll point to it right in front of your face! That photo is somehow more adorable and hilarious than I thought it would be! She really was a scamp from the very beginning, wasn’t she? Anyway, if you’re interested, maybe I could tell you a bit about myself and vice-versa? Make sure I’m someone you want to see again? - Oh, good! This was off to a great start~ Phew! Good, good. Just want to make sure, y’know? True, true. Heck, you could try to send something that you don’t want seen to…I don’t know, Antarctica…and they’d still manage to find it. Haha, yeeeeah; once she started crawling, it was all downhill from there! Sure, why not? I think it’s better one-on-one as opposed to doing it in front of a group, like on the first day of school. That whole “what’s your name, what’s your major, one fun fact about yourself” spiel. How should we do this? Do you want to go first or should I? - Well, I suggested it, so I guess I’ll go first. Now let’s see… My full name is Audrey Anne Davis. I’m currently 24 years old and my birthday is March 27th. I’m a college graduate and I work as a personal trainer at a local gym. My hobbies include working out, cooking, listening to music, and dancing. Not sure what else to put so, uh, your turn! (P.S. Feel free to ask me anything!) - My turn it is, then. Soooo, let’s see…mine is Jean-Claude Henri Malone (née Bellerose), currently 23, aaaand my birthday’s August 23rd. Right now, I’m working on my bachelor’s (almost done, though!)…started in gen. studies, decided to do something with humanities. I do a bit of work at the student bookstore, aaaand my hobbies include listening to music, playing videogames, reading…aaaand I would say I enjoy a bit of footy every now and again. Aha, dancing, eh? Any specific training (e.g. ballet, hip hop, anything of that sort) or is it more like “put on some tunes and see where the music takes you”? (P.S. Likewise!) - I have to admit, I had to Google née and footy. XD Anyway, I learned to dance from my dad. He took some classes when he was a kid, but is mostly self taught. (He’s REALLY good!) I pretty much just go with the music. I know some specific dance moves, but I don’t really know how to do those fancy dances you’d do at a ball. What kind of books do you like to read? I’m not much of a reader myself, but I do listen to audio books on occasion. I’m not exactly the brightest bulb, so I try to stick to books that don’t have seven layers of meanings you have to analyze in order to understand and enjoy them. - Ah, yes, the “English to English” thing. If I find one of those sorts of dictionary, I’ll be sure to send it your way. XD Interesting! That’s how I tend to dance as well…I’ve been meaning to take one of those “ballroom dancing” classes, just for the heck of it, buuuut…dunno, haven’t had the time as of late. (Or a partner for that matter, but that was a different story.) Just kind of want it as some random skill to have under my belt. I’m not super picky- if something looks interesting, I’ll pick it up, read the first couple of chapters, see where it goes. Though I will say, audio books are a godsend…always good for plane or car rides, if you’re not the one driving. I totally feel you on that whole “analysis” thing; that used to throw me in secondary school so much. “The blue door is supposed to represent the main character’s feelings of sadness”…mmmmaaaaybe the author just really likes the colour blue? 🤔 Personally, I always like to recommend “Le Petit Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (don’t worry, there is an English translation…and about 298 others, haha). There’s some analysis like that that could come with it, but not a ton. It’s one of those stories that doubles as a “children’s” story and one for adults, as well. - You never know when you’ll have to break into a waltz! I jotted down that title in my handy dandy notebook, so I should remember to look into it. (The act of writing things down helps me to remember. You should see how many notebooks I go through in a year! LOL) Speaking of children’s stories, have you ever read any Goosebumps books? I only read one as a kid and it really scared me, so I never read any more. I wonder if I could handle them now. The problem is my fight or flight response is just a fight response. If I get nervous, I might hit things out of reflex. I once accidentally broke my dad’s nose as a kid because he snuck up on me. I felt SO BAD. My mom couldn’t stop laughing though. She was actually recording when it happened, so that infamous family moment is on tape. - True, very true! 🤣 I have, actually! Read a few when I was a bit younger- my favourite had to be the ‘Night of the Living Dummy’ stories. They were pretty creepy, I have to admit…although I stumbled upon another series around the same time that, I argue, is quite creepier. I’m not sure if a series known as “Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids” made its way over to the states, but hoooo boy. It was made into a TV series as well…not much better in terms of toning down the creepiness. I used to say it makes Goosebumps look like Mother Goose! 😮 (Granted, I don’t think Goosebumps is supposed to be a series that scares you into good behaviour whereas G.T.F.G.K. sort of is, buuuut…still kind of has you going “WHAT did I just read?!”) Okay, just reading that made me cringe, ouch! Remind me to never spook you…or if there’s ever a time we’re over in the states for Halloween, remind me to not take you to a haunted house/scary movie. If it’s any consolation, there’s quite a bit of embarrassing footage of small me as well, haha. “Cowboy J.C.”, “Super J.C.”, tiny siblings/cousins spitting up on me, you name it. 😅 - It doesn’t sound familiar to me, but I was never on the lookout for such things. Scaring kids into behaving? Ick. I’m of the belief that you should influence a child with positivity. I don’t mean in a spoiling kind of way. I just think finding the cause of a problem is more important than punishing the child. And when it does come to punishments, never do something that can damage them in the long run. Don’t be too lenient though. It is important to learn that actions have consequences. There has to be a balance. Sorry for the ramble there. It’s just that the way children are treated is important to me and I do not censor myself with such things. I’ll be sure to remind you. I’m not a fan of scary things. Unless they’re a fun type of scary, like paper bats or those fuzzy spider decorations. We’ve only ever had really silly looking spider decorations at our house during Halloween because my mom’s arachnophobic. If they’re too realistic, she gets the heebie-jeebies. Speaking of embarrassing, I feel it only fair to you and Syd that I share a photo of my own.

Guess who. - Hey, that’s fair! And makes sense, too. My thing is just…kind of let them do their thing (to an extent) and experience the world, just guide them along the way, you know? If they’re being a little butt (or rather, standard kid who’s still learning) about something, tell them why they shouldn’t be in a way that they understand; cause and effect. Like yes, you may want to eat six ice lollies in a row, but if you do, you’ll get a stomachache. Kiddo knows from experience that stomachaches suck, so a compromise of one or two ice lollies is made. As you said, balance is key. Aaaah, arachnophobia. Guess I’ll have to tell Syd that if she wants to show your mum a cool spider she found to…well, not to. XD; Awww-ha-ha-ha-haaaw, caught red-handed! I guess since I’ve put Syd and you through it, I figure one of mine wouldn’t hurt, either:

Apparently, small me did not like the idea of a fork, haha. - I’m glad we have similar views on children. I think we’re going to get along juuuuuust fiiiiiiiine. (Don’t get me wrong. I won’t hold it against anyone if they aren’t good with kids. Just don’t be mean to them.) Awww, you’re adorable~ Hmm… This email is a little short. I’ll just add some random stuff about me here. I love plush animals and have a LOT of them. My favorite fruit is either strawberries or raspberries. I hate pickles, but I like cucumbers. I can do the splits. … I’m out of stuff to say. - Right? I mean, they’re people, too. Just…y’know, tiny. XD As long as you try, then that’s what counts. Eheheheh, I mean…kiiinda? 😅 This was one of the ones I could find that wasn’t completely embarrassing. I think Dad’s in possession of one of the ones that would made me melt into a puddle of shame. Hm, so’s this one. Guess I’ll follow suit? My favoruite fruits are probably apples and watermelon. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I like those indoor trampoline parks, buuuut the last place you’ll catch me is in the foam block pit (of course, guess who loves to go in those). If I had to pick my top three favourite animals, I’d have to say either cats (big or small), dogs (same), ooooor elephants. - I can’t really think of much to say this time around, but I’ll leave you with this. Given your favorite animals, I’d say I can always rely on you to address the elephant in the room! - LOL! 🤣🤣🤣 Haha, that’s alright. Guess that means we’ll have more to talk about the next time around. I think?I hope? XD; - It was a few days later that Audrey took the time to really sit down and think of something to write. Sorry for the wait on this one. I wanted to actually have something to say this time. Before I forget though, did you guys remember to try Blue Moon ice cream while you were here? Anyway, I find it so odd to think about how, if it wasn’t for Lola, we might have never met. Well, maybe not never, given our dads work for the same company. We might not have met until much later, if not for Lola. How neat and silly is it that my dog found me a pen pal? Also, I was able to think up some more questions for you! What are some of your favorite animated movies? What about songs? Desserts? Oh! By the way, here’s a video of Daisy my mom took the other day. It’s amazing how high that little dog can jump when treats are involved. - Now, logically, J.C. knew that taking a few days to respond was no real issue. Perhaps Audrey had gotten preoccupied with other tasks. That was typical for a twenty-something nowadays (he should know, he was one). A small part of him, though, couldn’t help but feel as though she had lost interest in him. If he had, he wasn’t the kind of person to be bitter about it…maybe a bit upset, but…Audrey was her own person, she had the right to make her own decisions. When he got a reply a few days later, that fear had melted away…then again, a video of a little dog getting some serious air in the name of treats always helps. Hey, no worries! We did, actually. Interesting flavour! Kind of like cotton candy, but also kind of not. If “blue” itself can qualify as a flavour, I guess, that’s what I’d call it. Kind of bites that wer don’t have it over here. Guess that gives me a reason to go back to the States, LOL. Ooo, okay, let’s see…I’d have to say one of the more recent ones is Ernest & Celestine. When I was little, apparently, I used to watch My Neighbor Totoro at least once or twice a week. I don’t remember, though, if I had watched it in English or in Japanese with the subtitles on. Might have been the latter, I only know the song in Japanese (and that’s….probably the extent of my Japanese XD. I can’t translate it, but I can sing it, so there’s that!). Songs, I’m all over the place, so I can’t exactly list a specific one. Mum and Dad like the Beatles, and they grew on me, sooo I guess there’s them? Will have to get back to you on that one, haha. Dessert-wise…can’t go wrong with creme brulee, that’s for sure~ Hot fudge sundaes are a close second. To be honest, I’ll take any offerings when it comes to sweets. 😋 Ha! Man, she’s got some power there…imagine her trying to make slam dunks! …Granted…that’s….kind of hard to do without thumbs, but…you get what I mean. I think? I know, right? I’m not entirely sure what dogs think about, but can you imagine if she was actively/knowingly playing matchmaker? ‘yes, hello there other human, meet mine’. 🤣 Guess that makes it my turn for questions? Mine are kind of weird, but: What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? What was the last song you sung along to? What’s your favorite type of day? (weather, temp, etc.) - Blue really is the best way to describe that flavor! Hard to imagine that ice cream as any other color. Then again, it might work in another color as long as it’s pastel. I think it’s pastel flavor. LOL Ernest & Celestine looks adorable! As for the other one… Honestly, it would probably have scared me as a kid. I think it’s the art style. Something about how big their mouths get, maybe. I don’t know… Nothing against the movie though! Just not my preference in style, you know?I’d say a few of my favorite animated movies are The Lion King, Lilo and Stitch, and the Emperor’s New Groove. I like to think New Groove is safe for any audience because no one dies; not even the villain.I like the Beatles as well! My music taste is varied. If something sounds good, I like it. Genre doesn’t really matter. Creme brulee? I’ve never had that. I do like custard though, so I imagine I would like it. And who doesn’t like hot fudge sundaes?! I love sweets as well! Yeah, I get it! Maybe we could get her a little basketball and hoop? She could carry the ball in her mouth! Her dribbling will be drool! XD I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what dogs are thinking. As for your questions, rock climbing might be fun? I’ve climbed indoor rock walls, but never the real thing. I honestly can’t remember the last song I sung along to. I kind of sing bits and pieces or hum when I listen to music, as opposed to full on singing along. Maybe I can go with the most recent song on my iPod? It was Fortune Teller by Maroon 5. I tend to find good things in any type of day, really. If I had to choose though, I’d say a sunny mid-spring day. The temperature would be right in the middle, not too hot, not too cold. Maybe the occasional cool breeze to help you feel alive, but enough sun that you don’t need a light jacket, but can wear one without burning up. Woof! That was a lot of typing! Maybe we could do an audio chat or something, one of these days? She hoped she wasn’t being too forward, but, seeing as they’ve spoken in person, she reasoned it wasn’t a big deal. - 😂😂😂 Eh, blue, pastel…close enough. Still tasty, regardless! 😋 Totally understandable! To each their own, right? Ooo, I might have to recommend New Groove to Kat. I’ve seen it a couple of times, but she hasn’t. I think anytime we’ve tried to settle down and watch it, something comes up (i.e., she’s going to a friend’s house, I had plans with a few of my friends, etc.). Lilo and Stitch is a pretty good one (def. one of Syd’s faves), and who DOESN’T like The Lion King? Can’t help but sing along with it, haha. Remind me to send you a recipe for some. It can be a little tricky, but it’s not like you have to have four or five things going at once. J.C. stopped typing for a couple minutes, trying to move his wrists around and get some of the building carpal tunnel aches to calm down a bit. Maybe Audrey had the right idea, switching over to audio calls… As for audio chat, I’m perfectly fine with that! Just want to let you know that I am about four to five hours ahead of your time zone (I believe that’s what it is? Daylight Savings is a weird concept…I guess for part of the year, it’s four and then the other part is five.). Whenever you’re feeling up to it. :) - Oh, right. Forgot about the time difference. Oops. LOL I tend to wake up at six in the morning and head to bed around ten at night. My work schedule isn’t a typical nine to five deal, being a personal trainer and all. I generally work when the client isn’t; so it’s usually in the mornings and evenings. I suppose the best time to catch me is early in the morning and midday, my time. Or on my days off, of course. Do you have an account on Discord? I figured we could do our chatting there. - Time-zones, mon amie; Une vraie douleur dans le cul…😩 Early morning, midday, and days off…duly noted! So that’d be afternoon to early evening here, I believe. Works out, though- my available times tend to be later in the day my time. I do- Name on there is OuiOuiJC#0714. If you see a profile picture that has a ferret in a beret, and they’re holding a baguette and glass of wine, that’s me. - Audrey couldn’t help but giggle at his username and profile picture. Rather than email him again, Audrey sent him a friend request from her Discord; AudreySugarSpice#1734. Her profile picture was a pink teddy bear. Guess who~ - Pink bear? Hm, unless one of his sisters had secretly made a Discord account (”Not until you’re older”, as per Mum and Dad’s rules), theeeeen this had to be Audrey. Looking at the username, that definitely confirmed it. Friend request accepted~ Guess who, eh? Hmmm….the Queen of England? 🤣 - Feeling a bit bold, Audrey initiated an audio call with him, planning to greet him with, “How’d you know?” followed by giggles. - …Well, she did say that she wanted to try out audio calls, so why not? Picking up, he answered with a comically dramatic gasp. “Your majesty~! I am not worthy!”   - Audrey giggled more. “I’d have followed up by pretending to be a queen, but, I don’t know how one acts and I can’t do an English accent to save my life,” she laughed. “Anyway, how are you doing? Can you hear me alright?” - “Incredibly proper, supposedly.” he chuckled. “Doin’ alright! Can hear you juuust fine. How about on your end? Hearing me and how things are going, I mean.” - “Same here! Glad I caught ya at a good time… I did catch you at a good time, right? It should be evening over there. Oh, I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything…” - “Haha, naaah, you’re fine! Been with the family for most of the day, so I’ve secluded myself in my room for a bit of ‘me’ time. It’s all good.” - “So I guess your me time is us time now,” she chuckled. “You live with your parents still or are you just visiting? It’s fine either way!” she added in a hurry. “The only reason I have my own place is because of Spike. He’s a workout friend of mine who works in construction and knows a few people in real estate.” - “Guess so; not that I’m complaining.” he responded. “ I spend most of my time here during the summer holiday…and, well, regular holidays.. During school, I live a bit closer to the campus. Soooo…I guess you could say both? Once I get my degree, I’m moving into my own. Haven’t settled on a location yet, really. Depends on if I want to be adventurous or not.” - “Ahhh. I see,” she nodded to herself. “What are some locations you’re thinking of moving to? Just curious.” - “Back to France is always an option…but knowing my family, either they’d be coming here at least once every couple of weeks or vice versa. Aaaaand that back and forth travel can be kind of pricey. I could always head up to and stay in Blackpool- where my university is. Or just take a total leap of faith and try somewhere else. The few times we’ve been over to the U.S. have been kind of nice- maybe I could live there. Might consider multiple citizenship, who knows. Eleven months there, one month here…” - “That does sound pricey… Though I’m sure you know that, if you’re considering the United States, I have to recommend Michigan. I’m biased, yes, but I have at least visited other states, so I’m not blindly swearing allegiance or anything. Fun fact, Michigan is one of the leading fruit growers in the States~ Cherries, especially,” she chirped. - J.C. laughed, “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea; being surrounded by fruit. I also wouldn’t mind living somewhere that gets actual snow in the winter. I mean, sometimes we’ll spend the holidays up in Northern Scotland, but not having to travel to see and play in the snow would be nice.” - “Oh, snow is definitely something we get up here,” she laughed. “Multiple feet of it, in fact. You should see Daisy during the winter; it’s hilarious! You just toss her outside and fwump; she disappears into the snow!“ - “Pffff! You might just have to tie a balloon to her collar or something and just track her that way. Or do you think she would float away?” - “Ha! Enough balloons probably would make her fly away! She’s so tiny! Truthfully, we just look for where the snow is moving. It also helps that she wears little sweaters when it’s cold out. Mom’s tried putting booties on her, but she just kicks them off.” - “Awwwhawhawhaw~ I’d hope she’d have at least a little something to wear. If I’m not mistaken, Michigan and a lot of those northern states can get pretty cold…like ‘stuck inside for days’ or ‘wearing five layers of clothing just to get the shopping done’ cold.” He thought for a minute. “Of…course, that’s all from word of mouth as opposed to personal experience, but…” - “I can confirm that it can get that cold. Ever see A Christmas Story where the little brother has so many layers of clothing he can’t put his arms down? It’s kind of like that.” - J.C. laughed, picturing the scene. “Oh, mon dieu. If we’re ever visiting during that time of the year, remind me to keep Syd away from metal poles!” - “Oh goodness… Yeah, that’s really a thing that happens here. Why do so many people think that’s a myth? Have they never gotten their tongue stuck to a popsicle before?” - “Apparently not. But hey, doing stupid stuff’s a part of life,I suppose. Maybe gain some status or fame in your friend group or among your class/workmates.” Sounded as if he was speaking from experience. - “Why do you sound like you’re speaking from experience?” she teased. - There was a brief moment of silence. “…Beeeee….caaaaaause I mmmmmmaaaaaay have done a few things that…could be qualified as such.” he responded, chuckling sheepishly. “N-nothing major, though.” - “Ooooooo~” she said, trying to sound like a studio audience. “What’d you do?” - The sheepish laughter intensified. “Aaaah…hm. You know those really, really hot peppers that are on the market?  Short and skinny of it is ‘Guys Night In’ and a game of ‘Truth or Dare’. It wasn’t a…Reaper? I think that’s what one of those are called? Only reason I know that is because I probably would’ve ended up in hospital, haha. I think it was aaaa….habenaro? One was, the other’s called  ‘Naga Jolokia’. Ate the habenaro with little issue, didn’t even get a full two bites into the other one before I was gulping down water like no tomorrow.” - “Oh noooo,” she laughed. “Oh nooo-ho-ho! That’s- That’s a ghost pepper, isn’t it?! Ah-ha-ha-ha!” She broke into a laughing fit. - His laughter became less sheepish and a bit more joyful. “Eeeeeeeyup, it is. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time, but hey. I will say, it did go better than when we played that one game with the Jelly Beans. …What’s it called? ‘Bean-Boozled’?” - “Yeah, it’s Bean-Boozled. Basically Bertie-Bott’s Every Flavor Beans but Jelly Belly brand. Dare I ask what could have happened when playing Bean-Boozled?” - “Weeeeell, plus side, I wasn’t the one who ended up with their face in a wastebasket.” he snickered. “The last few times we’d played, I kept getting the really gross flavours, and there was this joke that I was cursed. With our most recent game, the ‘curse’, I suppose, had reversed and the person who got all the good flavours last time got all the bad ones. He was fine up until…ugh, dead fish.” - “Ew-hew-hew!” she laughed. “Though, technically, all fish we eat is dead. It’d be pretty messy if we ate them alive… and gross… Say, that reminds me, you like scary movies, right? I have a question about zombies.” - “I doooooo. What’s your question?” - “How fast does a zombie need to eat before its victim becomes a zombie too and they don’t want to eat it? Like, zombies don’t eat other zombies, right? If you’re killed by a zombie, you become a zombie, right? How does that work?” - J.C. blinked, initially unsure how to answer. “That’s….actually a really good question. I like to think that it depends on the initial method of zombification. If it’s done via a curse, you’ve got a bit more time, whereas if it’s because of a virus, that time shortens, since you’ve got all this zombie saliva coming into contact with your blood. Blood takes about one minute to circulate through your entire body, so…you’d probably have to go all ‘pie-eating contest’ speed if your zombification is viral.” He stopped and thought for a minute. “Granted, you get bit regardless of the initial turning mechanism and still come into contact with their saliva…maybe one method is more virulent and fast-acting than the other? Kind of like how it can take something like food poisoning to show up in as little as half an hour to as long as four weeks, depending on what’s responsible for causing it.” - There was a long pause before Audrey replied with, “Huh… I don’t know what to do with this information… I’d write a story or something, but I don’t have the creativity for that. Hm… Maybe I should mention this to Adelyn… She’s good with this sort of thing.” - “Nor am I.” he chuckled, “Ah, Adelyn, eh? Friend of yours or a relative?” - “Relative,” she informed. “She’s my youngest cousin. She’s on the autism spectrum and is, like, really smart and creative.” - “Ah! Maybe she can tell me if the logic on my answer to your question seems sound.” All of a sudden, he heard a small sneeze outside the door, along with a small ‘THUD!’ and a young-sounding ‘Dangit!”. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “Hold on just a sec…” Getting up and walking towards his door, J.C. spoke to who he suspected was on the other side. “I know that’s you, petit singe. Are you eavesdropping?” “Noooooooo…a person can’t just chill against the wall in their own home?” “The wall that has their brother’s room on the other side?” “…All the other walls were taken?” - Though the voice was a bit faint, Audrey figured the little eavesdropper was Syd. “Tell her I said hi,” she called loudly, hoping J.C. could hear her from however far away from the computer he was. - “Can do!” he called back, before turning his voice back towards Syd. “Audrey says ‘hi’, by the way.” Syd gasped, “You’re talkin’ to her?!” She took a deep breath and shouted: “HI AAAAAAAUUUUDREEEEEEEY!!!” J.C., having been up against the door cringed and rubbed his ear a bit. Probably should have seen that coming… - “Oh wow, she’s got a set of lungs on her, huh?” she laughed. - “Tell me about it.” the older brother groaned slightly. “ ‘Kay! Soooo I’m gonna let yooooou twooooo get back to your conversation! Maybe we can do a chat later on; I don’t want to interrupt you two lovebirds~” the ten year old responded, laughing as she skipped away. Once she was gone, J.C. sat back down on his bed, rubbing his temple a bit. “Eheh…sorry about that. Siblings…” - “Never a dull moment, huh?” she chuckled. - “Never.” he laughed. - “Sooo… What were we talking about? … Oh, right; zombies. That reminds me; I punched a zombie once… Well, someone in a zombie costume… Did I tell you about that?” - “Pffffff! I don’t think you have…how’d that come about, anyway?” - “There was this haunted house a few years back. It was pretty intense, so children were required to have an adult with them. Well, these kids really wanted to go and every other adult they asked were either busy or flat out said no… So I wound up being that adult… Well, the haunted house did its job. I was on edge the whole time and, when one of the actors put his hand on my shoulder, I whirled around and punched out of reflex. I felt so bad! I kept apologizing and I even gave him a twenty dollar bill! I know they aren’t paid to be hit, but I had to do something!” - J.C. wheezed before collapsing into a fit of giggles. “Oooooh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho my lord!  That’s aw-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw-ful! Hilarious, as well, but still! But hey, at least you apologized.” - “The kids thought it was funny too,” she chuckled a bit. “Shame I got us kicked out.” - “Aw, that bites,”  the giggles started dying down a bit. “If it’s any consolation, I can be the designated adult if you and I are ever dragged to a place like that. I may let out a high pitch screech if I’m spooked, but I don’t think I’ll karate chop someone. At least, I haven’t yet…” - Audrey chuckled. “I’d appreciate that. I’m afraid my fight or flight response is just a fight response. Not a good scaring subject.” - J.C. snickered, “On the plus side, you at least know that. Better than running into a situation blindly and all confident, then end up running away.” - “As opposed to walking in scared and beating someone up? Not sure if I agree with that… If the person is innocent, anyway… I do wonder how I’d do, should I face a genuine threat… A non human threat, I mean. I know I can take humans.”   - “Oh yeah, no; punching innocent people’s never a good idea. I’d imagine if you can pack that much of an unintentional punch on someone, intentionally punching can provide quite a…pack.” He chuckled sheepishly, “I was going somewhere with that. Sounded better in my head.” - Audrey snickered. “I think I get what you’re trying to say. I do imagine I’d do more damage from an intentional hit than I would a startled reflex.” - “D-D-D-D-D-Double comboooooo!” J.C. joked, mimicking a videogame announcer, “Nice hit!” - She laughed at that, having supervised enough sleepovers to recognize a video game reference when she heard one. “Which fighting game is that?” - “Aha, I’m not entirely sure if it is one? I was trying to go something ‘Mortal Kombat’ or ‘Punch-Out!!’-esque, but other than that…” - “Mortal Kombat’s the one with the ‘Finish him!’ line and the catchy theme song, right?” - “Indeed it is. I know there are a few newer versions out, but I prefer the older, less…aaah, gory ones.” - “You mean to tell me they get even gorier?! I saw some as a teenager and they were pretty dang gory.” - “I meeean….maybe more so in the way of being more realistic with the blood and guts and everything, but if you would qualify that as ‘gorier’, then yes.” - “Ahhh, I get it. I suppose that is gorier. It doesn’t matter how much red you add to a stick figure, I’m not really going to be affected by it.” - “To each their own. I suppose.” - “Hm? What do you mean? I thought we were agreeing,” she asked, confused. - “O-oh! I’m pretty sure we still are? I-I meant that in a…different context than what the original meaning of the phrase is? You’d said something about adding as much red as you can to a stick figure and it won’t affect you. I, ah, imagine it can be different for some? That…something like that would? “ J.C. chuckled sheepishly. “I was going somewhere with that, guess my train of thought got derailed…” - “…I think I was in the train when it got derailed because I have no idea where we are,” she laughed. - J.C. snickered before breaking into a short, impromptu song, “We’re goin’ off the rails with our trains of thooooooought…~!” - Audrey’s laughter increased with the song. “Oh my gosh! You are so silly!” - Her laughter had him laughing as well…aaaaand perhaps blushing just a bit. Good to see his dorkiness came in handy outside of cheering up a grumpy sibling or a bummed out friend. “I try, my dear, I try. Just how I am, I guess!” - She giggled softly at being called ‘dear,’ finding it both silly and charming. “Well, you succeed!” she chuckled. “What were we talking about? Fighting games? Something about fighting?” - “Something like that, yeah…come to think of it, how did we even get on that topic, anyway? What were we even talking about before that?” - “I have no idea. I don’t even really play video games. See, this is why I write things down; can’t remember a thing otherwise… Well, aside from the fact that Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. That’s about all that stuck with me from school.” - “I wouldn’t call myself a gamer, really. Kind of in the ‘I know just enough to keep myself from getting my butt completely kicked whenever one of the munchkins wants me to do a Pokemon battle with them’ camp. Maybe the occasional party game like those dancing ones, but otherwise…” J.C. chuckled, “What about ‘Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally’ for maths, or ‘Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492?’. Granted, that’s probably going back a looooong time, but hey.” - “I can play a bit of those Mario Party games, but that’s about it. I mostly button mash everything else. It’s amazing how often I win doing that…” she trailed off. “I know those too! It’s just the cotton gin thing stuck with me, for some reason. When will I ever need that information? Elementary school Jeopardy?” - “Haha, Iiiii’d imagine so. I remember when I was still in primary school, we had this ‘Bring-Your-Parent-To-School Day’ thing, and we did have something like that at one point. Kids vs. the parents. Sort of like…what’s the name of that one show? ‘Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?’. Pretty sure that show wasn’t around when I was that young, so your description’s probably more accurate.” - “I suppose you have a point there. I guess I can use it in a competition with my future kids,” she laughed. “Assuming I one day marry and have them or adopt them or what have you.” - “Same, honestly. I like to think I’ve gotten enough practice with ‘Thing 1′ and ‘Thing 2′, and having a kid of my own would be nice. It’s….different from having siblings, you actually have something that you had a hand in creating, and it’s like a little you.” He paused. “I mean…they’re obviously they’re own person, but half of their DNA is yours.” Cue a small sigh, “I dunno, having a tiny person thinking you’re the coolest thing ever for a time is a nice feeling. Kind of want to experience it on a different level than ‘older sibling-younger sibling’.” Cue another pause, then a somewhat sheepish chuckle, “That…aaaah, I didn’t mean to dump all that on you at once. Had an idea and ran with it. I hope that made at least some sense.” - Audrey giggled, pleased with his ramble. She liked the way this man thought. “Oh, no worries. I like listening to people talk about things that make them happy, especially when it’s about kids. And I know what you mean. I can’t help but wonder what a biological child of mine might look like. What traits of mine might they inherit? That sort of thing.” - “Basically a game of ‘roll the genetic dice and see what happens’, I guess. Sometimes it can be a little scary if you’ve got some potentially harmful stuff in your history, but otherwise it’s kind of cool.” A thought occurred to J.C., evidenced by the sudden change in expression on his face. “…I wonder if anyone’s ever had a child that’s exactly half of one parent and half of the other. Like one side of their head has curly hair and the other side is straight? I guess that could happen with multiples, but I don’t know about a singular child…” - “I don’t think that’s possible,” she scratched her head as she thought. “I know eyes can be two different colors, but I don’t think you can have two types of hair on the same head… Not naturally, anyway. I mean, my hair is kind of in-between Mom’s waves and Dad’s curls… Probably closer to Dad in that respect. Can’t style it very well… It’s not both though.” - “Mm.” He nodded as he listened to Audrey’s thought process. “Guess it all depends on what exactly the DNA wants to do when, for lack of a better term, building someone from scratch happens. ‘You get your mom’s eyes, your dad’s hair, the dimples of some relative a few generations back…’. Genetics are weird.” - “Tell me about it. Dad has no freckles, Mom has a few, I have a ton. Apparently, there’s some hidden super freckle gene somewhere in my family.” - J.C. chuckled, “Guess so. I don’t know a whole lot about what ran in mine, other than brown hair from my mother and…” he paused, “I know there was something on my father’s side, though what it is is escaping me at the moment…” - Audrey figured he must be having difficulty remembering as it’s been so long since his biological family was alive. Deciding it better to change the subject before he delves too deep into such a topic, Audrey thought up a distraction. “Do you remember that thing in school where you draw a square consisting of four smaller squares to figure out possible gene combinations or whatever? I forget what it’s called…” - J.C. thought for a minute; that sounded really familiar… “The thing where you put, like…uppercase ‘B’ for brown eyes and lowercase ‘b’ for blue eyes? I believe it’s a Punnett Square?” - “Yeah! That’s it! You’d think figuring out the odds of certain traits would be more complicated than drawing a few squares, but, there it is.” - He chuckled, “I know, right? Apparently, you can use them in…I believe it’s algebra, as well, but it’s a little more complicated there. ‘Square this number, multiply these two’…” - “Oh, gosh; not algebra!” she yelped in faux terror before chuckling. The two went on talking for a good while after that, but ultimately had to end the call. Finding such a thing quite enjoyable, Audrey made sure to call J.C. again… and again… and again. They’d even gotten to the point where they did video calls. It practically became a routine, but there were still interesting moments to be had. “Check it out! I got a wireless headphone microphone thingy!” Audrey chirped excitedly, waving her hand around her head to show there were no wires. “Now I can still talk to you, even if I step away from the computer a little!” - J.C. let out a playful, dramatic gasp at the reveal. “Ah, fantastique! You’re not confined to having to be close to the computer like I am.” he joked, pulling at his headphone cord a bit, “I have one of those microphones that are built into the computer, but I’m definitely planning on upgrading to a more ‘external’ one soon…seven to ten business days to be exact, should the delivery go without a hitch. Merci, online shopping~” - “Tell me about it! Present shopping has never been so convenient~ Also,” Audrey clapped, summoning Lola to jump onto the couch with her. “No more nearly knocking down the computer whenever Lola wants attention!” - J.C. chuckled at the little pup, “Ah, bonjour, Lola!” “Did you say Lola!?” came a voice from outside his door. “Can I see ‘er? Please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase?” The older brother playfully rolled his eyes, “Oh lord, sounds like I said the magic word. You don’t mind Kat popping in for a bit, do you?” - Audrey chuckled and shook her head. “Not at all~ Let me just turn the speakers on so Lola can hear her. You like the attention, don’t you, girl~?” she cooed as she pet her head. - J.C. gave the two a small smile before turning towards his door. “Entrez!” With a small creak, in came Kat, bounding towards her brother’s bed. Thankfully, he didn’t have to worry about as much damage being done once she flopped onto it, as Kat was a good deal smaller than Syd. No real worries about his laptop flying off of the bed and onto the floor or the screen getting kicked in. Once she was on the bed, Kat crawled towards the webcam and made herself comfortable, smiling widely and cooing at the dog. “Hiiiiya, Lola! Hiya, Audrey!” - “Hiya, Kat!” Audrey returned the greeting as Lola stood up and wagged her tail at the excited voice. “Who’s that?” she asked playfully, getting a bark from her dog. “Yes! It’s Kat! Such a good girl~” she gave Lola a generous petting - The eight year old giggled at the dog’s response. “Kinda bites that you guys are so far away, an’ that I can’t reach through the screen an’ give her some pets…but seeing you two’s okay enough! How’ve you been?” - “I’m giving her plenty of pets for you,” she giggled, petting the dog. “Work’s been a little overwhelming here and there, but Lola and your brother have been doing a good job of helping me wind down. What about you? School treating you okay?” - “Uh-huh!”, the little girl nodded,  “Right now we’re doing our sevens times tables in maths and we’re reading Sideways Stories from Wayside School. We’re supposed to be starting this really cool science experiment next week, but I dunno what exactly it is, ‘cos our teacher’s keeping it a secret.” “Maybe you’re doing the ‘butterfly life cycle observation’ thing.” J.C. commented, “I remember doing that a few times in primary school.” - “Oooo, that sounds fun~ Glad that you’re enjoying yourself. School takes up a lot of time, so, best enjoy it, if you can. Maybe you can give Syd some pointers on that.” Syd struck her as someone who didn’t enjoy school much. - “I meeeean, I dunno what exactly it is they do in Year 6, but I can try? She likes when they do more ‘science-y’ stuff and reading more action-packed stories, than having to learn history or maths….buuuut I can try!”   J.C. smirked at his sister’s confidence. “Well, you know the saying: ‘Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it’.” - “Well… there’s a lot of action in history?” she shrugged. “Though that’s rarely a good thing in real life… And you need to know math in order to properly do science. Lots of equations and all that.” - “Yeeeeah, true. But I guess you gotta explain stuff in a way that’ll make it sound interesting with ‘er. Not totally sure how you could make maths interesting.” The older brother snickered, “Maybe if the question’s something like…’If there are 96 pieces of chewing gum in a candy machine and there are 8 friends, how many pieces does each friend get?’. Something that she can kind of relate to. Or at the very least, reword the question, but keep the same numbers.” - “I’d imagine she’d say something along the lines of, ‘Depends on who has to figure it out. They’ll get more than the rest.’ Gotta be careful with how you word these things,” she wagged a finger. - J.C. laughed, “She would. Or ‘Why would they be sharing, that’s 96 whole pieces of gum right there!’.” “I do know she likes when her class gets to do creative assignments, too.” Kat piped up, “Like when they have a spelling list, but get to write a story that uses the words in it. Or when they make a scene from something or a model in a shoe box.” “…A diorama?” “Yeah, that! She tends to make a big mess when she’s making it, but the end product’s pretty good…and she has fun doin’ it too.” - “That’s good! See, you’ve gotta focus on the good with these things. Focus on the bad and you’ll make yourself miserable. I mean, there are difficult aspects to my job, but I try to focus on the fact I’m helping people get healthy and/or stay healthy. Just remind her something good will come soon enough, you know?” - Kat gave Audrey a salute, “Can do!” “It takes a bit of patience, too.” J.C. added, “I know she wants to do some of the experiments that I did in secondary school and uni, but…well, you need to learn to crawl before you can walk, and know how to walk before you can run.” “It’s hard, though, when you’re little.” Kat piped up. “Trust me, I know. And I’m pretty sure Audrey knows too; we were both your age once.” - “Exactly,” Audrey nodded. “I used to get frustrated with what I wasn’t allowed to do, but, looking back, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t go baking a cake without learning to crack an egg first.” - “…Ssssoooo she can’t exactly go sledding down the stairs without knowing how to steer the sled first?” J.C. snickered, “I mean, in theory, yeah, but you shouldn’t be doing that anyway because you could get seriously hurt. And that’s regardless of how many pillows you’ve tied to yourself, how many you’ve put at the bottom of the stairs, and with wearing knee and elbow pads and a helmet.” - “Even if you somehow managed not to get hurt, I can’t imagine it would be much fun. I mean, it’d probably be a really bumpy ride. I’d much rather sled in the snow.” - “But then we’d have to go waaaaaaay up north if we wanted snow. It almost never comes this far south.” Kat pouted. “If you want some deep snow, yes, but I think if we a tad bit as opposed to- as you put it- ‘waaaaaaaay’, it’d be fine. Maybe even go a bit west, as well.” J.C. looked to Audrey, “How much snow would you say you get over by you?” - “How much snow?” Audrey proceeded to cackle for a good long time before holding up a finger, asking for a moment to compose herself. “Sorry,” she cleared her throat. “We just get so much snow! I mean it. A lot. A little snow for us would be two feet deep. There’s a reason we have snowplows over here.” - Kat gasped excitedly. “We gotta go to Michigan for sledding!!” J.C. sputtered, laughing a little, “So you’d be willing to take a half-a-day flight just to go sledding? Not one that’d be maybe an hour, hour and a half at most?” “Yeah! ‘Sides, you’d be able to go an’ see Audrey! Us too, obviously, but still!” - “Oh, come now, it wouldn’t just be sledding… There’s making snowmen too,” she giggled. “Not to mention the feeling of coming inside from the cold and warming up with some hot chocolate.” - “And snow angels and snowball fights!” the little girl bounced excitedly. - Audrey chuckled. “Now, now, don’t get too excited. We don’t even know if this winter visit will happen.” - “Can it, thooooough?” Kat asked, giving the two the “puppy dog pout/puppy dog eyes” combo. As much as the older brother would love that, doing so was dependent on a lot of factors.  “Iiiiiit’s a bit too early to say yes or no, sooooo…I guess we can chalk it up as a ‘we’ll see’?” - “It’s not up to me, kiddo,” she gave the child a shrug. “I’d certainly welcome you, but I can’t exactly fly you over here.” - “Awww…” “Hey, it’s not a ‘no’.” J.C. pointed out, trying to make the situation a bit more positive. - “There’s still plenty of time to figure it out,” Audrey offered. “I mean, school only started a few weeks ago over here. It’s still pretty warm out.” - “Yeah. You’re telling me you want to skip out on your birthday and Halloween and just go straight to winter?” J.C joked. Kat let out a small gasp and shook her head ‘no’. “Theeeeeeeeen you have to wait, kiddo.” - Audrey chuckled. "I’m looking forward to pumpkin spice season, myself.” - “I love fall.” J.C. sighed, thoroughly content. “Part of it being the pumpkin spice, part of it the cooler weather…” “Part of it being that you can toss me into leaf piles.” Kat added, grinning. The brother snorted, “That’s something that you love, goofball…buuuuut I do get a good laugh out of it. Next time we get a deep enough pile, you’re getting launched.” Kat responded with her arms joyously shooting upwards, and a happy “Yay!” - Audrey let out a small giggled, one of joy more than humor. She really liked seeing this man get along so well with children. This man was destined to be a father, she thought to herself as she smiled dreamily. - “Maybe if you and Syd team up, you can launch me.” he joked. Kat scoffed before laughing, “Yeeeeah, maybe not? Now, Audrey probably could! Either with us or by herself!” - The laughter snapped her out of her dreamy state and she laughed too. “I can’t guarantee a soft landing if I do.” - “He’s had worse!” Kat snickered, imagine Audrey doing just as she stated. J.C. smiled and rolled his eyes at the blonde and ruffled her hair a bit, “Alright, alriiiight…hey, did you finish your homework yet?” Kat shook her head no. “I was takin’ a break. Guess I should get back to it?” J.C. nodded, “Then when you’re done, we’ll go over it….maybe practice some of your multiplication flash cards?” “ ‘Kay….but you promised we would have a tea party after that and dinner, remember?” “Of course I do. You, me, and Mr. Bunnysworth are going over the details of the deed to your dollhouse.” The way he said it sounded so matter-of-fact. Kat giggled at her goofball brother before turning to Audrey and Lola, “Sounds like I gotta get goin’. I’ll talk you guys later!” - Audrey giggled again. These two were adorable! “Talk to you later,” she smiled and waved goodbye. Once Kat was gone, Audrey turned the sound back to her headphones. “Tea party, huh? Since you’re in England, do you have actual tea at those?” - J.C. smiled and blew a bit of air out of his nose, “Occasionally, yeah. Kind of a toss up between that or some juice. In the winter, she’ll use hot cocoa.” - Audrey chuckled. “That’s basically what we do over here. That or we just sip on air. It’s usually air, unless we’re using real cups. Those play tea cups are so tiny.” - “I know, right? You have to take teeeeeeny tiny sips if you want it to last the whole party. Like a little mouse or something.” - “Imagine if you were trying to actually hydrate with one of those,” she snickered. - “Oh jeez. If you drink out of them like a normal human being, it’s almost like doing shots.” He paused for a second. “…Oooor at least, how I imagine one would do them. Never done them myself. The occasional glass of wine on special occasions or on vacation, but otherwise…” - Audrey snorted. “I just imagined someone doing shots of tea, but instead of getting drunk, they just get more and more English!” - “Ha! I could start out sounding like this.…” He mimicked downing a few cups of tea before speaking again in a “fancier” accent: “…to something like this. And as the day goes on, it just….waters itself down.” - Audrey couldn’t help but cackle at the demonstration. Once she calmed down, she glanced at the clock and spoke again. “Oh goodness; is that the time? I need to let Lola out before she messes on the floor. Be right back!” She darted off camera to let Lola outside. While outside, her headphones were out of range of her computer, so neither of them could hear each other. With the silence, Audrey managed to forget she was wearing the headphones at all. Making her way back inside (and back in range of her computer), she sang softly to herself as she went about getting Lola a treat. - “Can’t be having that now! You two go do your thing, I’ll be over here.” As the two went off, J.C. took the time to readjust a few things with his computer, answer an e-mail, comment on a friend’s photo. His ears perked up a bit when he picked up the sound of Audrey’s voice again. Was she…? She was. He’d heard her sing once already (he had joined in, after all~), but regardless of that, she sounded lovely. Cue a bit of pink coloring his cheeks. - As she made her way back to the computer, she stopped singing and went about taking the headphones from around her neck and putting them back over her ears. “Sorry about that,” she sat back down with a smile, oblivious to the fact he’d heard her. - “Huh? Oh! Oh, it’s no big deal.” He chuckled sheepishly, “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.” Cue the blush getting a bit more noticeable. Seemed to be that she was unaware that he could hear her… - Audrey raised her brow at this and cocked her head slightly to the side. “You feeling alright?” - Ah, crud, he’d been caught. “You, ah….” he gestured to where her headset had been. “You had forgotten to take your headset off, and I caught a bit of you singing when you came back in. N-not that that’s a bad thing! I thought i-i-i-i-it sounded lovely…” - “Oh? Oh!” she brought her fingertips to her mouth for a moment, then brought them back down with an embarrassed smile. “Ah-ha… Oops… Thank you?” - “Eheh…heh…aaaah, no problem…” Well, this was awkward. - “What were we talking about?” she twirled some hair around her fingers as she tried to distract from what had just happened. - “Tea parties and fancy accents, I believe?” J.C. answered, going back to said “fancy” accent as a joke. - Audrey tittered and the two went back to talking. As time went by, the leaves turned color, the temperature got colder, and their online chats became more frequent. “Since Halloween is right around the corner, I have an idea I want to toss out there, if you’re interested.” - J.C., currently in a rather “spooky” sweater, looked up from his hot cocoa, curious. “Shoot. What’cha got rattlin’ around in that brain of yours?” - “You know how I don’t watch horror movies because I don’t want to hurt someone on accident or watch it alone? Well, I can’t really hurt anyone if they aren’t physically in the room with me,” she grinned a bit slyly. “Could be something a bit different, you know?” - “Oooo-hoo-hoo, I like~ So! How should we start out with this? Something super tame like….well, I mean Hotel Transylvania isn’t a horror movie, but it has monsters in it…or do we go for the big guns like The Grudge?” - “I was thinking an actual horror movie. My cousin Chloe got me a nice mountain of horror movie files to choose from. She may have been a bit over zealous though,” she chuckled. “I doubt I’ll ever watch them all. Anyway, I can send the files your way and we can watch it on that Let’s Gaze website we tested out before.” - J.C. laughed as well, “Fine by me! Anything in said mountain that’s catching your eye? I’m not super picky with what we watch.” - “Chloe did mention that some of them can have a bit of humor or ridiculousness to them. What were some of them? Child’s Play… Scream… The Cabin in the Woods… Any of those sound good?” - Taking a sip of his drink as Audrey listed off a few titles, he perked up at the last one. “Oooo, Cabin in the Woods, let’s go with that.” - “I take it you like that one?” she smiled as she went about sending him a link to download the file. - “It’s actually one I haven’t seen,” he clarified, “Child’s Play and Scream, I have seen, albeit a few years ago. Figured I’d start with something ‘new’ before going towards more familiar, y’know?” - “Sounds good. When do you think you’ll have time to sit and watch a whole movie with me?” - “Mmmmm, probably sometime a little later this week? Have a few ‘autumnal’ things that are going on with the family, so I might not be able to find some free time before then. I can keep you posted, though!” - “Is it apple picking?” Audrey asked enthusiastically. “Or throwing your sisters into leaf piles? Pumpkin picking?” - “All 3~” he smiled, “Maybe some preliminary costume searching as well.” - “Ooooooo~ Sounds like you’ve got some busy days ahead of you! My mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and cousins are all going apple picking with me next week! We’re all gonna get some fresh air, pick some apples, make some apple treats… that sort of thing~” - “Ooo, sounds fun! Maybe I can suggest that to Mum and Dad; apple-flavoured stuff- rather, stuff made from apples- sounds really good right now. Plus, it can give Syd a chance to put some of her energy towards climbing some trees.” - “I can send you some recipes, if you need any,” she offered. - “Ooo, that’d be lovely, actually. Spice things up a bit in terms of autumnal snacks, you know?” - Audrey’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the concept of sharing recipes. “Oh! Oh! I have lots of recipes! What do you think you might want; pies, crisps, cobblers, muffins, cakes, cider, applesauce, fritters, breads?!” - Dang, she really DID have a lot of recipes! And they all sounded really nummy~ “Man, you weren’t kidding!” he laughed, “Hm, where do I even start? Maybe we can start with fritters and muffins and go from there.” - “Good choice~ I’ll be sure to send those your way.” She reached for her notebook off camera and jotted down a reminder. “Maybe I could add a nice apple drink recipe in there. Gotta wash those treats down with something~” - “Oo, even better. Kind of like a little bonus treat.“ - Audrey giggled at that. “A treat for your treats~” - J.C. let out a giggle as well…with an unintentional snort. Upon realizing that he had done so, his face went a bit pink. He was still smiling, though, so that was a good sign. - She didn’t comment on the snort. She didn’t want to embarrass him, especially when she did the same thing. “It’s a shame you live so far away. It’d be fun to bake together, I bet!” - He stopped for a second, a thought occurring to him. If they could talk to each other while being in two different parts of the world, what was to stop them from baking? “Unless…we do the baking, but like how we’re doing now. Find some sort of set up to where we can place our computers or phones or whatever out of the ingredient ‘splash zone’, and check on each other’s progress along the way. Baking together, but not physically together, if that makes any sense.” - “We should totally do that,” she exclaimed. “I wonder what we should make. I’d suggest an apple dish, but I don’t go apple picking until next week. Heh. Maybe we should try something simple, just to test it out?” She put a finger to her mouth in thought. “Perhaps a no-bake pumpkin pie? Still autumn themed. Do you guys have boxes of instant pudding over in England? Maybe we should make something with more common ingredients. Hmm… Oh! Pumpkin bread!” - “Oh definitely; do a test run, see how that goes, and then go from there!” J.C. agreed. “Do we have instant pu…I actually might have to check the next time I go out for groceries. Pumpkin bread might be a better option to start with, at least. I know for a fact that we have the stuff to make it here.” - “I’ll have to Google this sort of thing later,” she mused aloud. “I know you guys don’t have graham crackers over there. I’m guessing you’d use shortbread crust for pies in place of graham cracker ones…” - “Usually, yeah, or we use digestive biscuits in place of them. They may have them in the ‘’American’‘ section of a grocery store, but it depends on the store.” - Audrey nodded. “It really is wild how similar, yet different, our foods can be. I’ll try to look through my recipes for ones that are more basic. Here in the states, we tend to use shortcuts that you may not have; like instant pudding.” - “Right? And it can mean something completely different too. The kind that you’re talking about is usually called ‘custard’. If you look up ‘Yorkshire pudding’, that’s usually what we mean. Haggis is technically considered one. …English is weird.” - “Haggis?!” she asked with a weird face. “You’re right. English is weird.” She scrunched her nose. “I’m not going to lie here; if I asked for chocolate pudding and got haggis, I would be very disappointed.” - J.C. laughed, “Same, honestly. I mean, the food itself actually isn’t all that bad; it’s just the way it’s made that makes it sound gross…and…maybe some of what’s in it. To each their own, I suppose.” He shrugged, “I’ve only had it a few times that I can remember; usually when we’ve gone to visit one of my aunts up in Scotland.” - “I’ve never had it myself, but I know it doesn’t taste like chocolate pudding. Hence why I would be disappointed. I’m generally down to try anything at least once.” She thought a moment. “Scotland, huh? Is it as pretty as the pictures?” - “Always a plus.” he smiled. “I’d say so, yeah. One of my favourite places that we sometimes stop over in is Edinburgh, it’s kind of got a fairy tale-esque feel to it. Where my aunt lives is a bit further south, over in Dumfries; more of a riverside kind of town. If you go north enough in the winter, you’re able to see the northern lights, apparently. Haven’t had a chance to myself, unfortunately. I mean, we’ve been pretty far north there that time of year, but never at a point where we can catch ‘em.” - “Oh, that sounds lovely,” she smiled. “Maybe you could ask your relatives to send you pictures, since you haven’t been able to catch them yourself. Oh! Another name for the northern lights is the aurora borealis, right? Sounds all scientific that way,” she chuckled. - He laughed, “Indeed it does. …Y’know, that actually sounds like a good idea. Knowing my luck, if you and I got together just for that, there’d be a wicked snowstorm that moves in on the night we’d be seeing them.” Of course, the alternative of being all snuggled up indoors by a fireplace with some hot cocoa with her wasn’t bad. - She cocked her head slightly, a bit curious, but kept her smile all the same. How exactly did he feel about her if one of his first thoughts about the northern lights would be seeing them with her? “Well, I’m sure we’d find other things to do. Maybe hot cocoa and a crackling fire? I love those~” Seemed she had a similar mindset. - “Maybe in some comfy pyjamas, under one of those weighted blankets.” he added, goofy grin starting to sprawl across his face“…Ooooor a lightweight but super fluffy one. Either or.” - “Oooo~ Both are good! Might depend on how warm the fire makes everything.” She chuckled. “Here we go; talking about a fictional snowstorm. Our conversations sure are something, aren’t they? I was supposed to remember something…” Audrey opened her notebook. “Oh, yeah! I’m supposed to get you some recipes and find one we can both cook together!” Looking off screen, she spotted Lola. “Looks like Lola wants O-U-T and I need to look for some recipes, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?” - “Right, right! That should be fun; here’s hoping that when we do do that, the internet says running smoothly the entire time. Nothing worse that trying to get an exact amount of something from someone, and the connection starts to glitch.” At the mention of Lola, J.C. blew a bit of air out of his nose, smiling. “Haha, silly pup. You go on ahead; I’ll catch up with you later!” -End-

Quadpolar Part 2!

Just want to let you know that i had instant bloggers remorse after that last post. Welp, I've stepped in it now.

So i totally forgot to mention that I'm adopted (see: Symptoms of ADHD; rushing, inventiveness), pretty important stuff. That means my nice, old fashioned, very old, worked in the post office their whole life parents are not, in fact my real parents. What they did was reach into a barrel of discarded babies and pull out a meth head kid. (Sorry to my biological mom reading this, we have to go in context for a bit). For the sake of sanity my adoptive mom will be Mom and my biological mom will be Mama, although that didn't happen til MUCH later.

I was adopted at birth and told as soon as i was old enough to understand, something i appreciate my adoptive parents for. They never kept secrets from me, made sure i knew what sex was right off the bat, my super paranoid mom even gave me a book CALLED "Child lures" (I'm not kidding this was literally a pedophile's handbook for a seven year old to read, look it up. Fucked up.) But as far as how true it all was, maybe I'll never know.

What I was told by my adoptive mom was that my biological mother was a drug addict with two other kids already (my sister was 4 and my brother was 2). My father, who she was with at the time, was also a drug addict. As the story goes (i still haven't dared to ask), while high on meth one day he beat my baby brother so bad that his ribs and arm were broken and he now has permanent neurological damage. Last i knew my brother had just gotten out of jail and was homeless, so his life hasn't really improved. That was about the time the state of Arkansas decided that my mother, pregnant with me at the time, would no longer have custody of her children and we would all be placed for adoption immediately. My sister and brother, who shared a father that was different from mine, were placed in an orphanage and my Mama chose my adoptive parents to take me from birth. I had no correspondence with her for decades and didn't want to- to me she was a vile, despicable woman like all the drug addicts in the world- but i had mever even met someone on drugs so what did I know? So, born in Arkansas, raised in New Jersey and then....

Fast forward to the good part: the part that sticks my crazy ass in the awful state of Maine. I liked vacationing there, but did i want to move there? Hell no! My one best friend in the world, the boy next door who I'd grown up with and was the same age as, was not coming with us. It was in the middle of nowhere, on the eve of my Fifth grade year. Having skipped a grade, I was only 9 at the time. I distinctly recall my first car ride to the rural beach town, during which I had a small mental break down and screamed "THEY'RE DRIVING TRACTORS ON THE ROAD!!!" because that was just <i>unheard of.</i> The only kid on the street, eventual cheer captain, straight A student and model child was my age but wanted nothing to do with the hyperactive menace next door who came over uninvited and played with the dogs. Yep, that was me. Forcing myself into the company of people who didn't want me around.

And thus I started school at the local K through 8. Wait. K through 8? How many kids went to this school????? Must be like TEN THOUSAND!! Back in Jersey there were 2-3 grade levels to a school, 30 kids to a class and 11 of each grade.That's over 600 kids in just two grades! (And i still had no friends. Sob. Seriously i must have been an awful kid.) You never had the same classmates twice, classes switched every grade. I couldn't imagine how FRIGGEN HUGE a school with every grade in it would be!!

What? What's that. There are HOW MANY kids in my class?

16. And how many in the grade? 16.

....so there's one fifth grade? And how many kids in the school??? ......a little over a hundred.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA.

At first i was pumped. I get to make friends and stay with them all the way till high school?! YES. Except this was when I remember my life becoming a living hell.

At this point i had been on at least three different medications for ADHD and none of them worked. Ritalin, Concerta, Stratera etc. Apparently i was still as annoying as ever because i remember being tormented relentlessly. Like, relentlessly. When there's only 16 kids in the class and you're the target, there's no escape. The teacher's let it happen. I was called hippopotamus. My lunch got spat in. I was mocked in front of the class. I was called stupid. Everyone would argue about having to sit next to me and i would just sit alone, or if someone did have to sit with me (usually the teacher assigned someone which made it worse) they would push my things off my desk or ask to copy my work once they realized i was almost as smart as the smartest girl in the class.

And i let them. I wanted SO fucking badly to be popular, to have a friend, fucking anything. It always blew up in my face. As soon as i was done being used for answers, a good place in line, a random good pick for a team or something, i was immediately shunned again. I buried myself in my extracurriculars (now it was swim team, violin and piano), joined band, chorus, jazz band, softball and soccer. I told my parents very little unless they were being dragged in for parent teacher conferences about how i was inattentive and always acting out. My grades began to slip because I was starting to learn about depression and constantly forgot to do my homework. My strict as hell parents were making me practice piano and violin for hours a day and my only solace was my meager 30 minutes of Nintendo 64 time per day. At one point my sixth grade teacher (stupid bitch, i hope you enjoy your cancer (sorry, y'all)) told my parents i wasn't as smart as everyone said and i should be held back because she thought i was autistic. I'm a lot of things, but not fucking autistic.

In the summer before seventh grade i finally got a reprieve in the form of my still longest best friend and the miracle drug Adderall. For those who don't know, Adderall is an amphetamine based ADHD medication and widely abused for it's stimulant properties. For anyone with ADHD however, it mellows the shit out of us and makes us super focused. Well, I'm a little allergic to it, so it actually makes me aggressive. On top of that, it makes your appetite nonexistent so, surprisingly, your favorite curvy girl Jay developed an eating disorder. Not on purpose at first. I just wasnt hungry so i didn't eat. I skipped breakfast, skipped lunch, ate the light dinner my parents prepared and went to bed. Hunger was nonexistent. Then one day i woke up and discovered myself at about 135 pounds, i tried on my first pair of short shorts out shopping with my mom. I'll never fucking forget looking in the mirror and saying out loud "Wow... I actually look great in these!" I didn't realize it was the Adderall at the time but I let it get worse. Whenever i did eat off my only light dinner schedule i would make myself throw up. I eventually got down to 117 pounds. My lowest weight. I stayed there for years. Once i had a state ID with me at that weight. Even at 12 i looked emaciated. It was revolting. I kept that ID for awhile to remind myself how awful i looked and to remind me that I look better curvy, but then i got fat and it made me sad. But i digress.

When i got back to school I suddenly gave not a single fuck about anyone picking on me. Adderall made my emotions <i>nonexistent</i>, but my temper started to boil. As a punching bag i was still pretty friendly and docile, like a big dumb dog that comes trotting back for another beating time and time again. Now i was silent and glowery. People took notice, and that's where my first real best friend came in. Let's call her Patti. I will always remember the day it really happened. I was the first person in line for recess, a great honor, but all my classmates were playing the "EW I DON'T WANT TO STAND NEXT TO HER" game. As per usual. I didn't really care. Thank god for drugs amirite? But then one voice rang out above the crowd of heckling...

I'm just kidding, it was more of a frustrated "seriously guys? Grow up." and then there was Patti. Someone who'd never joined in the terrorizing- i didn't and still don't blame anyone who didn't speak up. It would have made them a target too. But why? She was a cheerleader. I don't think anyone disliked her. She wasn't "popular" but she'd been going to this school since kindergarten and knew everyone. I guess I'll never really understand. But she was a lifesaver, even before the depression got really bad. She actually got to know me, the real me, she realized (and helped me realize too) that i was funny, and goofy and smart, and friendly. Eventually, because of her, some of the others started to come around too, but none of them were ever quite as close to me as she was. I thank god for this girl pretty regularly. Not as much as i should lately.

But there was still the matter of the bullies- and of my short fuse. I had my first kiss that year and a few short lived "boyfriends"- all from other schools of course, it would have been an unforgivable taboo to be interested in Jay. But that year was the year i put my foot down. As i mentioned earlier, Adderall had made me apathetic, but also very, very aggressive. The rage built slowly for several months until one fateful day in art class. I can't remember what i was doing to deserve this comment, i genuinely wish i could, but one of my usual enemies decided to say "No wonder your parents didn't want you!"

She was across the table from me and before i knew it i had launched myself across the table and had my hand up around her throat. No squeezing, just pressure. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head and the entire room fucking froze. It was like something out of a movie. That was the first time i ever rage cried. If i ever get angry enough that my eyes start to water, someone's gonna get hurt. We both got sent to the principal, maybe because the sensible art teacher recognized a normally good natured kid snapping. I looked dead into that principal's eyes and told him that I'd had enough. I was tired of being picked on every single day and having nothing done. Teachers watched and let it happen. Some fucking joined in. HE let it happen after i told him time and time again what was going on. I didnt get in trouble. The bullying receded a good amount that day. It didn't stop completely until almost the end of the year.

Through my mother's networking at church i had become friends with one of the most popular girls at a neighboring school- a gorgeous russian adopted girl with a thick accent and a very early onset sex drive. Yikes. In turn, she introduced me to her brother, who i began "dating" for several months. By "dating" i mean we held hands and made out under the bleachers at YMCA dances and he tried to get me to give him a blowjob at my 12th birthday party. Jesus yikes. Needless to say that relationship didn't last long but I'd suddenly earned a reputation of someone who was- dare i say it- close to popular?

Then there was the summer of 2004. The best few months of my life. Patti and i were inseperable, we rode our bikes around the town every day, snuck into the state park, ate ice cream at the little trailer shop nearby, stayed up all night then nodded off through church the next day. And we dreamed. Oh sweet jesus did we dream about getting as far away from our shitty little town as possible and never coming back. I had honestly never been happier and for the first time in my life i had a best friend. I had a birthday party at the end of the school year and a bunch of people came- people from my school!- we genuinely had an amazing time. The girls all slept over and for once, finally, i felt like i belonged.

Eighth grade was a breeze, if you skim over Adderall making me almost punch my mom in the face. It was the first and last time i ever raised a fist to my parents. But it had done it's job. I wasn't getting picked on, i gained a little more weight and filled out nicely, I excelled at academics, won awards in jazz band, joined the bangor youth symphony orchestra, and actually made real friends (none in my school save for patti really.)

So.... That's my life up until high school. That's when i met depression. 😘

Wire Less Industrial Wholesale Truck Stealing Prevention System

According to some recent reports, video games improve cognitive and perceptual skills, hand-eye coordination and even social skills. It seems that games are not just a waste of time, but are powerful tools and can have many positive effects we didn't expect they could. Video Games Improve Hand-Eye Coordination The process of hand-eye coordination occurs when the eyes receive information and send it to the brain which uses it to coordinate with the hands to perform an activity. Hand-eye coordination skills can be improved by practicing and exercising. One way to do so is by playing action video games. For some kids this seems to be the best way. Video games are useful in this because the gamer must use his or her hands and fingers to respond to the information seen on the screen. Children can benefit from this practice even before they can read and write well. As we get older some skills such as hand-eye coordination, motor skills and reflexes, need some sharpening, so it is wise to be involved in some game or sport. Video Games Improve Social Skills Computer and console gaming improve social interaction skills and social development. I suppose you are asking: "Where did this come from?" I didn't make this up, it's the conclusion of recent research reports. There where days when gamers were seen as being social outcasts. They were lonely people with machines for friends, but now things have changed. The main factor is the internet and online games. The researchers claim that three-quarters of gamers play against other people whether it was off-line or on-line. Gamers can work off their anger and feel relaxed, plus they don't have to feel alone. They can work together with their gaming friends becoming more socially responsible. Video Games Improve Cognitive and Perceptual Skills. Researchers claim that some video games can have advantageous effects, improving gamers' skillfulness and their ability to solve problems. They came to the conclusion that playing video games can improve cognitive and perceptual skills. Children who often play video games like: arcade games, action games, horse games, improve their concentration and math skills. When playing on-line, gamers also discuss their strategies and thoughts, developing informal scientific reasoning practices. Gamers deal with a number of varied tasks at the same time. They notice new enemies, follow existing enemies, and avoid getting damaged, among other tasks. Such efforts may result in improved visual skills.Video games also improve ones driving skills, because they require focus and manual agility. Smart children might use the results of these reports and say they can't stop playing because they are improving their skills and so improving their future. Try one of the best online horse games for kids http://www.funhorsegames.net

Babies under stay costless with any parents. Early telephone games were boring due to the fact of dark graphic as well as low grade gaming networks. Park Get better 2, Car parking Mania, also parking perfection 5 will definitely be the the top 3 normally , popular games on any site. It more that would come of this. More additionally more business ventures with surplus parking will definitely be offering semi truck auto parking in Alberta. Pete Times Forum, The Colorado Aquarium, Lowry Park Zoo, and Busch Gardens. When the type of truck individual wants to assist you change the driver's authorization code, he/she should walk into the owner code. In gameplay violence possibly can trigger unpleasant behaviors as well as a might damage the assembly within your actual child's neural in an actual manner in which he and she does indeed kick away to obtain violence important content. They seem to be real minutes savers, enjoy extra money and loads of heat would feel saved. Commercial transport trucks are furthermore , not alotted to track at its Truckee contemplate station. They offer a real free mark vii breakfast. Driver affirmation system must be generally previously used in ad vehicles even as well even as machineries if you want to prevent each of our unauthorized have of typically the vehicles. During the time the packing is furthermore slow, a person will can try start added websites. Semi truck parking games on area municipal paths has change into a irritation for almost all in Alberta and further regions of the Canada. They are coffee obtain many in all rooms. Highway 56 around present seven miles from the type of Fort Larned national Old Website. Features handle an internal swimming pool, free hey speed Internet, business revolve and actual physical center. 100 Commerce Park Dr, Territory 81 & 3, Watertown, NY. 1-315-782-2700. Various small fry games similar to water mechanism toss and moreover egg events let of their own kids win Dog and puppy Wood paying out money beyond the hamlet. Even so, you could stay located at the Rest Inn settled at all of the mouth linked the Little bit Rock Airport for in regard to the the precise same price, hence consider this travelodge your option mostly after your current Comfort Hotel. If a driver enjoys to make your mind up between resting three countless hours early along with pressing over the actual ten-hour mark, he'll the large majority of likely media on. In cases where you already have not recognized about any RV storage organisation, actually you know. In this valuable section that this child might be welcome to quickly water often the mushrooms. With internet being the one hot-spot for everything, every home has an internet access. It has become more or less a must-have. If you do not have an internet connection, you are distanced and far away from every development, and all latest information. Internet changed the world of entertainment too. Entertainment used to be hanging out with friends watching movie, playing an outdoor game or an indoor game etc. Today internet makes every outdoor game an indoor one! Online games have become so popular that most people prefer to play these enthralling games and spend their free time at home. Though there are a number of online games, car games has been an all time favorite. Like always racing and speeding through has been a boy's forte, here too these games are loved by kids and youth and people of all age. There are a number of online games sites which allow free down load too. You can easily download your car games for free and play them when ever you wish to. You can also race with other participants who are online live. These online games are technologically far advanced. You have a wide option in the car games. Right from the car you wish to drive, also the color of your car, and the place you wish to race. Thus with these many wide options, children are really amused and thrilled. Further more, online games take away the risk that one fear when the race is for real. You can race ahead hitting a pole or a passing by car, or run into the bush or hit a tree and reverse back and get on the track again. Is it possible in real race? Well, firstly is it allowed? Thus online car games allow the adrenalin rush without worrying about any dangerous consequences. You can simply speed away and accelerate, all the way. If you forget to turn, there is no worry too! When you pay these car games, you mostly are rewarded points. Thus with each game you can win points which are compared with other racers for declaring the winner. Winning is fun, but one also has to be careful that indoor games are not always good for health. Online games are loved by most kids and elders. Even parent are happy that the child is playing at home and so encourage them paying online games. But one must never forget that these are addictive, most of these games are as much fun and engrossing that the child seeks to play further. One must train and force oneself to restrict the hours of play. Besides, there is no exercise and chances of obesity and lack of exercise is always a possibility. Online games have a good side too. While playing these online games like car games he has to think fast, take swift decisions and actions, there is a continuous hand and eye co-ordination, besides he also has to concentrate. Car games evoke the feeling of wanting to win and race ahead. But many people feel it also makes the child loose sensitivity to danger and hitting against any object or rude driving. Despite all these pros and cons, car games and other online games are loved by all and are here to stay.

The 5 Best Halloween Episodes You Should Watch Tonight

Happy Halloween, everyone! How you choose to celebrate this most blessed of holidays is up to you. Some of you will drink pumpkin beer until you poop jack o’ lanterns, some of you will take your children trick-or-treating, and some of you will sit on the couch and absorb horror films. But if I can make a suggestion for that last group: In between your annual viewings of Halloween 4: The One Where Michael Myers’ Mask Looks Like Total Dogshit and Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Not That Bad, Actually, consider watching some Halloween-themed TV episodes. Because while movies are great for frights, there are a few TV shows that actually capture the spirit of Halloween. For example …

5

The Office: “Employee Transfer”

The year is 2008. The place is every theater in the known world. The movie is The Dark Knight. And the thought that’s going through four billion heads simultaneously is “I know what I’m going to be for Halloween this year.”

Read Next

How The 'Last Of Us 2' Trailer Ruined A Sure Thing

On October 31, 2008, you couldn’t throw a Batarang without hitting someone dressed in a Heath Ledger Joker outfit. The simple act of going outside was an invitation for swarms of people in purple sweatpants to come up and ask you if you wanted to see a magic trick. Drama kids draped themselves in long wool coats and ventured into the cool autumn night, looking for prey to listen to their story about how they got their scars. Former frat bros lathered on white facepaint and sipped vodka red bulls as they mumbled through half-remembered things about “chaos” and “killing the Batman.” And the one guy dressed as Beetlejuice spent the whole evening correcting people.

It was like magic. Somewhere in Heath Ledger’s wonderful performance, the worst people you knew heard a dog whistle. A dog whistle which screeched “Annoy the fuck out of everyone you know and love.” The Office understood that this was going to happen, and that’s why “Employee Transfer” is so great.

Airing on October 30th, it was like a warning to the general public: Beware, for tomorrow your neighbors will turn on you, your children will betray you, and your roommates will spend six hours attempting to apply cheek prosthetics before giving up and just using a pound of lipstick. Any show that can accurately capture the frustration of existing in the same universe as the mob of Jokers before that day of frustration actually occurs is worth your attention.

“Employee Transfer” features some of Steve Carell’s best acting in the whole series, but it’s also a great parody of the time the Earth cancelled Halloween and replaced it with Jokerfest 2008. I’ll never forgive Christopher Nolan. Never.

4

The Spectacular Spider-Man: “The Uncertainty Principle”

It’s hard for superhero shows to do a good Halloween episode, and I think it’s because superheroes wear masks all the time, and a lot of the comedy from any Halloween episode comes from what the characters decide to dress up as. It’s really hard to properly dress up as anything when your main wardrobe is one bright color with a huge symbol on your chest. That’s why most superhero Halloween specials are just plain adventure stories. In The Batman episode “Grundy’s Night,” Clayface pretends to be unkillable zombie Solomon Grundy to better rob intolerable old rich people. It’s great. You should check it out.

Unsurprisingly, The Spectacular Spider-Man, the best superhero cartoon of all time, broke the mold a little bit and gave us a Halloween episode that’s a little more think-y. However, all this metaphorin’ doesn’t prevent the episode from having a fight between Green Goblin and Spider-Man which takes up the entire third act. That was probably the greatest strength of the show: being able to balance teen drama and deep reflection with radioactive boxing matches that usually lasted about seven glorious minutes.

While most interpretations of the Green Goblin never get past the whole “Curse you, Spider-Maaaaaan” section of their shtick, this Green Goblin is a playful, sadistic dick. He’s constantly asking Spider-Man to consider what “mask” is real — the mask that hides your face or the mask that is your face. This doesn’t just play into the mystery of who the Green Goblin is, but also deals with something that’s lacking in a lot of superhero shows that are made for kids: At what point does your human identity become the facade? The Green Goblin and Peter Parker aren’t opposites; they’re both freaks who only find respite and fulfillment when they wear their masks. Peter Parker is a bespectacled shell of a nerd. It’s only when he’s Spider-Man, quipping and punching with psychopathic consistency, that his actual mask gets taken off.

Anyway, Green Goblin (Norman Osborn) fakes a leg injury and then retreats back to his home. There, he finds his son passed out, breaks his own son’s fucking leg, and puts the Goblin costume on him. Then, when Spider-Man gets there, Norman is all like “We gotta get my son some help. He’s really sick. See, his leg is broken. He’s helpless. WINK.” So yeah, if you want to watch something with all the fun of a Marvel character and all the “Oh my god, no” of comic book child abuse, this is a good one. Jeez. Maybe you should’ve just gone to a costume party or something, y’all.

3

Any Roseanne Halloween Episode

If you grew up in a small town like I did, you know that Halloweens are a gamble. You’ll get to go trick-or-treating, but only if your parents are down to drive you to a more populated place that supports such an activity. Otherwise you’re just trudging in a ditch down a lonely country road, hoping that a passing car doesn’t hit you and ruin your Dollar Store Wolfman mask and spill all of your candy. And when you age out of that, you go to a local haunted maze, which never fails to be out in the middle of nowhere. There, you watch theatrical rednecks rev chainsaws, wave severed prop heads, and ignore copyright infringements. In North Carolina, you don’t legally reach puberty until you’ve held someone’s hand through the Hacker House. It’s the law.

One of the draws of the sitcom Roseanne was that it was about a lower-middle-class family. So many sitcoms were based around how cool it would be to have friends in New York City, or how great it would be if you could shove a dozen family members into the same piece of prime San Francisco real estate. But Roseanne was hunkered down in the suburbs. The main set looked like it had been cobbled together from a thrift store’s going-out-of-business sale, the costumes were from a Fashion Bug clearance rack, and the family was loud and loving, just like mine.

Except on Halloween.

The Halloween episodes of Roseanne are things of sitcom legend. Barely having anything to do with the show itself, the Halloween episodes would go all out and present an alternate Roseanne reality where the family could suddenly afford elaborate costumes and expensive makeup. Halloween was the biggest day of the year (as it should be in all worlds, fictional or otherwise), and the usual relaxed pace of a Roseanne episode was replaced by a frantic joke parade. And for me, it was pure wish fulfillment.

You wanted to have a Roseanne Halloween. A Halloween where you could buy that expensive costume that you saw at the mall and run around and play pranks on everyone. A Halloween where you could go trick-or-treating with your friends, because most houses were less than a quarter of a mile from each other. A Halloween where everyone, adults included, understood how important Halloween was to you.

The Halloweens I experienced as a kid were fucking wonderful. But just once, I wanted a Roseanne Halloween.

2

How I Met Your Mother: “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns”

I moved from North Carolina to NYC, because it’s the true path of an artist to be miserable in a small town and then move to a large town where you’re only mostly miserable. And it’s there that I learned that you will see most of the people you know maybe once every few months. It’s just hard to hang out with people. Sure, a subway system connects the whole city, but deciding to use it is flipping the coin on whether a particular train works that day or not. So you’ll go a long time without seeing someone important to you. “Oh, I remember you! You were at that thing in 1988! New Jersey now, huh?”

The How I Met Your Mother Halloween episode “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns” gets that more than most NYC-based sitcoms. In it, human sweater vest Ted Mosby finally meets up with a girl that he saw at a Halloween party years earlier. She’d been dressed as a pumpkin, and as he did with most things with a pulse, he fell in love with her. But now, upon meeting her and dating her, he finds that they have absolutely no spark. Sitcoms, right? One minute you’re in a zany situation, the next you’re finding out that you’ve spent the last ten years pining after a lie. Laugh track!

Halloween in a big city is weird. On one hand, you want to explore what it has to offer, but it’s easy to get discouraged by the fact that you know that something like “HALLOWEEN PARTY FEATURING DJ QUANTUM. HALF-OFF SHOTS. PEOPLE IN COSTUMES GET A FREE PUMPKIN TEQUILA ENEMA” will attract roughly 30,000 people. So you go to parties, where you make friends you don’t see again for eight years. And so your big-city circle of friends becomes a mix of a core group you hang out with constantly and people you see once a decade. It’s kind of nice, especially in a sea of sitcoms that portray NYC as a place where you apparently can teleport from borough to borough, never having to worry about petty things like time or physics.

1

Walker, Texas Ranger: “The Children Of Halloween”

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to watch Walker, Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris is a pretty cartoonish figure in pop culture, but most episodes of Walker are a slog. Chuck kicks some criminals, administers a moral lesson, and talks down to everyone. Chuck Norris is judge, jury, executioner, God, Jesus, and Shakespeare in Walker, Texas Ranger. Somehow, Chuck Norris made a show about roundhouse kicks into something as boring as a Pat Robertson colonoscopy.

However, if you’re looking for something that is simultaneously a piece of batshit holiday insanity and the Walker-est Texas-est Ranger-est episode of Walker, Texas Ranger ever, watch “The Children Of Halloween.” It opens with Norris scoffing at his black co-worker’s George Washington Carver costume. Walker is a Texas Ranger, but more than that, he’s an awful dickhead.

One scene of men in ape masks shooting machine guns at a convenience store for no reason later, and we get a touching montage of kids practicing martial arts that feels like it lasts two hours. One of those kids is abducted by a satanic cult, and Walker is dropped into a race against time to stop children from being sacrificed. How spooky is all of this? So spooky that the opening credits adopt a Tales From The Crypt font and show us a cemetery with a blue filter over it. Fucking boo.

Sony Pictures Television Distribution

That’s ultimate spooky.

Regardless, Walker has never met a problem he couldn’t quite easily resolve by beating it unconscious. In the nick of time, he literally flies onto the screen with a side-kick, and then breaks a Satan worshiper’s neck in front of a group of stunned children. He proceeds to kick an entire cult into submission and saves the day. Walker finishes the episode by drinking coffee in a bar while ignoring the women who hit on him, because as the theme song says, “That’s what a ranger’s gonna be.” Yep. Murder a bunch of strangers in front of elementary schoolers and never have sex, like, ever. It’s what a ranger’s gonna be. Who am I to argue?

Daniel has a spooky, scary Twitter.

The Simpsons Tree House of Horror Collection is objectively the greatest Halloween TV you’ll ever find on this Earth. Enjoy!

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Unnecessarily Horrifying Episodes Of Beloved Kids Shows and 5 Inexplicably Creepy Episodes of Family Friendly TV Shows.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Darkest Episode of an 80’s Sitcom Ever, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook. Boo!

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/06/the-5-best-halloween-episodes-you-should-watch-tonight/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/06/the-5-best-halloween-episodes-you-should-watch-tonight/

The 5 Best Halloween Episodes You Should Watch Tonight

Happy Halloween, everyone! How you choose to celebrate this most blessed of holidays is up to you. Some of you will drink pumpkin beer until you poop jack o’ lanterns, some of you will take your children trick-or-treating, and some of you will sit on the couch and absorb horror films. But if I can make a suggestion for that last group: In between your annual viewings of Halloween 4: The One Where Michael Myers’ Mask Looks Like Total Dogshit and Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Not That Bad, Actually, consider watching some Halloween-themed TV episodes. Because while movies are great for frights, there are a few TV shows that actually capture the spirit of Halloween. For example …

5

The Office: “Employee Transfer”

The year is 2008. The place is every theater in the known world. The movie is The Dark Knight. And the thought that’s going through four billion heads simultaneously is “I know what I’m going to be for Halloween this year.”

Read Next

How The ‘Last Of Us 2’ Trailer Ruined A Sure Thing

On October 31, 2008, you couldn’t throw a Batarang without hitting someone dressed in a Heath Ledger Joker outfit. The simple act of going outside was an invitation for swarms of people in purple sweatpants to come up and ask you if you wanted to see a magic trick. Drama kids draped themselves in long wool coats and ventured into the cool autumn night, looking for prey to listen to their story about how they got their scars. Former frat bros lathered on white facepaint and sipped vodka red bulls as they mumbled through half-remembered things about “chaos” and “killing the Batman.” And the one guy dressed as Beetlejuice spent the whole evening correcting people.

It was like magic. Somewhere in Heath Ledger’s wonderful performance, the worst people you knew heard a dog whistle. A dog whistle which screeched “Annoy the fuck out of everyone you know and love.” The Office understood that this was going to happen, and that’s why “Employee Transfer” is so great.

Airing on October 30th, it was like a warning to the general public: Beware, for tomorrow your neighbors will turn on you, your children will betray you, and your roommates will spend six hours attempting to apply cheek prosthetics before giving up and just using a pound of lipstick. Any show that can accurately capture the frustration of existing in the same universe as the mob of Jokers before that day of frustration actually occurs is worth your attention.

“Employee Transfer” features some of Steve Carell’s best acting in the whole series, but it’s also a great parody of the time the Earth cancelled Halloween and replaced it with Jokerfest 2008. I’ll never forgive Christopher Nolan. Never.

4

The Spectacular Spider-Man: “The Uncertainty Principle”

It’s hard for superhero shows to do a good Halloween episode, and I think it’s because superheroes wear masks all the time, and a lot of the comedy from any Halloween episode comes from what the characters decide to dress up as. It’s really hard to properly dress up as anything when your main wardrobe is one bright color with a huge symbol on your chest. That’s why most superhero Halloween specials are just plain adventure stories. In The Batman episode “Grundy’s Night,” Clayface pretends to be unkillable zombie Solomon Grundy to better rob intolerable old rich people. It’s great. You should check it out.

Unsurprisingly, The Spectacular Spider-Man, the best superhero cartoon of all time, broke the mold a little bit and gave us a Halloween episode that’s a little more think-y. However, all this metaphorin’ doesn’t prevent the episode from having a fight between Green Goblin and Spider-Man which takes up the entire third act. That was probably the greatest strength of the show: being able to balance teen drama and deep reflection with radioactive boxing matches that usually lasted about seven glorious minutes.

While most interpretations of the Green Goblin never get past the whole “Curse you, Spider-Maaaaaan” section of their shtick, this Green Goblin is a playful, sadistic dick. He’s constantly asking Spider-Man to consider what “mask” is real — the mask that hides your face or the mask that is your face. This doesn’t just play into the mystery of who the Green Goblin is, but also deals with something that’s lacking in a lot of superhero shows that are made for kids: At what point does your human identity become the facade? The Green Goblin and Peter Parker aren’t opposites; they’re both freaks who only find respite and fulfillment when they wear their masks. Peter Parker is a bespectacled shell of a nerd. It’s only when he’s Spider-Man, quipping and punching with psychopathic consistency, that his actual mask gets taken off.

Anyway, Green Goblin (Norman Osborn) fakes a leg injury and then retreats back to his home. There, he finds his son passed out, breaks his own son’s fucking leg, and puts the Goblin costume on him. Then, when Spider-Man gets there, Norman is all like “We gotta get my son some help. He’s really sick. See, his leg is broken. He’s helpless. WINK.” So yeah, if you want to watch something with all the fun of a Marvel character and all the “Oh my god, no” of comic book child abuse, this is a good one. Jeez. Maybe you should’ve just gone to a costume party or something, y’all.

3

Any Roseanne Halloween Episode

If you grew up in a small town like I did, you know that Halloweens are a gamble. You’ll get to go trick-or-treating, but only if your parents are down to drive you to a more populated place that supports such an activity. Otherwise you’re just trudging in a ditch down a lonely country road, hoping that a passing car doesn’t hit you and ruin your Dollar Store Wolfman mask and spill all of your candy. And when you age out of that, you go to a local haunted maze, which never fails to be out in the middle of nowhere. There, you watch theatrical rednecks rev chainsaws, wave severed prop heads, and ignore copyright infringements. In North Carolina, you don’t legally reach puberty until you’ve held someone’s hand through the Hacker House. It’s the law.

One of the draws of the sitcom Roseanne was that it was about a lower-middle-class family. So many sitcoms were based around how cool it would be to have friends in New York City, or how great it would be if you could shove a dozen family members into the same piece of prime San Francisco real estate. But Roseanne was hunkered down in the suburbs. The main set looked like it had been cobbled together from a thrift store’s going-out-of-business sale, the costumes were from a Fashion Bug clearance rack, and the family was loud and loving, just like mine.

Except on Halloween.

The Halloween episodes of Roseanne are things of sitcom legend. Barely having anything to do with the show itself, the Halloween episodes would go all out and present an alternate Roseanne reality where the family could suddenly afford elaborate costumes and expensive makeup. Halloween was the biggest day of the year (as it should be in all worlds, fictional or otherwise), and the usual relaxed pace of a Roseanne episode was replaced by a frantic joke parade. And for me, it was pure wish fulfillment.

You wanted to have a Roseanne Halloween. A Halloween where you could buy that expensive costume that you saw at the mall and run around and play pranks on everyone. A Halloween where you could go trick-or-treating with your friends, because most houses were less than a quarter of a mile from each other. A Halloween where everyone, adults included, understood how important Halloween was to you.

The Halloweens I experienced as a kid were fucking wonderful. But just once, I wanted a Roseanne Halloween.

2

How I Met Your Mother: “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns”

I moved from North Carolina to NYC, because it’s the true path of an artist to be miserable in a small town and then move to a large town where you’re only mostly miserable. And it’s there that I learned that you will see most of the people you know maybe once every few months. It’s just hard to hang out with people. Sure, a subway system connects the whole city, but deciding to use it is flipping the coin on whether a particular train works that day or not. So you’ll go a long time without seeing someone important to you. “Oh, I remember you! You were at that thing in 1988! New Jersey now, huh?”

The How I Met Your Mother Halloween episode “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns” gets that more than most NYC-based sitcoms. In it, human sweater vest Ted Mosby finally meets up with a girl that he saw at a Halloween party years earlier. She’d been dressed as a pumpkin, and as he did with most things with a pulse, he fell in love with her. But now, upon meeting her and dating her, he finds that they have absolutely no spark. Sitcoms, right? One minute you’re in a zany situation, the next you’re finding out that you’ve spent the last ten years pining after a lie. Laugh track!

Halloween in a big city is weird. On one hand, you want to explore what it has to offer, but it’s easy to get discouraged by the fact that you know that something like “HALLOWEEN PARTY FEATURING DJ QUANTUM. HALF-OFF SHOTS. PEOPLE IN COSTUMES GET A FREE PUMPKIN TEQUILA ENEMA” will attract roughly 30,000 people. So you go to parties, where you make friends you don’t see again for eight years. And so your big-city circle of friends becomes a mix of a core group you hang out with constantly and people you see once a decade. It’s kind of nice, especially in a sea of sitcoms that portray NYC as a place where you apparently can teleport from borough to borough, never having to worry about petty things like time or physics.

1

Walker, Texas Ranger: “The Children Of Halloween”

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to watch Walker, Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris is a pretty cartoonish figure in pop culture, but most episodes of Walker are a slog. Chuck kicks some criminals, administers a moral lesson, and talks down to everyone. Chuck Norris is judge, jury, executioner, God, Jesus, and Shakespeare in Walker, Texas Ranger. Somehow, Chuck Norris made a show about roundhouse kicks into something as boring as a Pat Robertson colonoscopy.

However, if you’re looking for something that is simultaneously a piece of batshit holiday insanity and the Walker-est Texas-est Ranger-est episode of Walker, Texas Ranger ever, watch “The Children Of Halloween.” It opens with Norris scoffing at his black co-worker’s George Washington Carver costume. Walker is a Texas Ranger, but more than that, he’s an awful dickhead.

One scene of men in ape masks shooting machine guns at a convenience store for no reason later, and we get a touching montage of kids practicing martial arts that feels like it lasts two hours. One of those kids is abducted by a satanic cult, and Walker is dropped into a race against time to stop children from being sacrificed. How spooky is all of this? So spooky that the opening credits adopt a Tales From The Crypt font and show us a cemetery with a blue filter over it. Fucking boo.

Sony Pictures Television Distribution

That’s ultimate spooky.

Regardless, Walker has never met a problem he couldn’t quite easily resolve by beating it unconscious. In the nick of time, he literally flies onto the screen with a side-kick, and then breaks a Satan worshiper’s neck in front of a group of stunned children. He proceeds to kick an entire cult into submission and saves the day. Walker finishes the episode by drinking coffee in a bar while ignoring the women who hit on him, because as the theme song says, “That’s what a ranger’s gonna be.” Yep. Murder a bunch of strangers in front of elementary schoolers and never have sex, like, ever. It’s what a ranger’s gonna be. Who am I to argue?

Daniel has a spooky, scary Twitter.

The Simpsons Tree House of Horror Collection is objectively the greatest Halloween TV you’ll ever find on this Earth. Enjoy!

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Unnecessarily Horrifying Episodes Of Beloved Kids Shows and 5 Inexplicably Creepy Episodes of Family Friendly TV Shows.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Darkest Episode of an 80’s Sitcom Ever, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook. Boo!

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/06/the-5-best-halloween-episodes-you-should-watch-tonight/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/168246093102

The 5 Best Halloween Episodes You Should Watch Tonight

Happy Halloween, everyone! How you choose to celebrate this most blessed of holidays is up to you. Some of you will drink pumpkin beer until you poop jack o’ lanterns, some of you will take your children trick-or-treating, and some of you will sit on the couch and absorb horror films. But if I can make a suggestion for that last group: In between your annual viewings of Halloween 4: The One Where Michael Myers’ Mask Looks Like Total Dogshit and Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Not That Bad, Actually, consider watching some Halloween-themed TV episodes. Because while movies are great for frights, there are a few TV shows that actually capture the spirit of Halloween. For example …

5

The Office: “Employee Transfer”

The year is 2008. The place is every theater in the known world. The movie is The Dark Knight. And the thought that’s going through four billion heads simultaneously is “I know what I’m going to be for Halloween this year.”

Read Next

How The 'Last Of Us 2' Trailer Ruined A Sure Thing

On October 31, 2008, you couldn’t throw a Batarang without hitting someone dressed in a Heath Ledger Joker outfit. The simple act of going outside was an invitation for swarms of people in purple sweatpants to come up and ask you if you wanted to see a magic trick. Drama kids draped themselves in long wool coats and ventured into the cool autumn night, looking for prey to listen to their story about how they got their scars. Former frat bros lathered on white facepaint and sipped vodka red bulls as they mumbled through half-remembered things about “chaos” and “killing the Batman.” And the one guy dressed as Beetlejuice spent the whole evening correcting people.

It was like magic. Somewhere in Heath Ledger’s wonderful performance, the worst people you knew heard a dog whistle. A dog whistle which screeched “Annoy the fuck out of everyone you know and love.” The Office understood that this was going to happen, and that’s why “Employee Transfer” is so great.

Airing on October 30th, it was like a warning to the general public: Beware, for tomorrow your neighbors will turn on you, your children will betray you, and your roommates will spend six hours attempting to apply cheek prosthetics before giving up and just using a pound of lipstick. Any show that can accurately capture the frustration of existing in the same universe as the mob of Jokers before that day of frustration actually occurs is worth your attention.

“Employee Transfer” features some of Steve Carell’s best acting in the whole series, but it’s also a great parody of the time the Earth cancelled Halloween and replaced it with Jokerfest 2008. I’ll never forgive Christopher Nolan. Never.

4

The Spectacular Spider-Man: “The Uncertainty Principle”

It’s hard for superhero shows to do a good Halloween episode, and I think it’s because superheroes wear masks all the time, and a lot of the comedy from any Halloween episode comes from what the characters decide to dress up as. It’s really hard to properly dress up as anything when your main wardrobe is one bright color with a huge symbol on your chest. That’s why most superhero Halloween specials are just plain adventure stories. In The Batman episode “Grundy’s Night,” Clayface pretends to be unkillable zombie Solomon Grundy to better rob intolerable old rich people. It’s great. You should check it out.

Unsurprisingly, The Spectacular Spider-Man, the best superhero cartoon of all time, broke the mold a little bit and gave us a Halloween episode that’s a little more think-y. However, all this metaphorin’ doesn’t prevent the episode from having a fight between Green Goblin and Spider-Man which takes up the entire third act. That was probably the greatest strength of the show: being able to balance teen drama and deep reflection with radioactive boxing matches that usually lasted about seven glorious minutes.

While most interpretations of the Green Goblin never get past the whole “Curse you, Spider-Maaaaaan” section of their shtick, this Green Goblin is a playful, sadistic dick. He’s constantly asking Spider-Man to consider what “mask” is real — the mask that hides your face or the mask that is your face. This doesn’t just play into the mystery of who the Green Goblin is, but also deals with something that’s lacking in a lot of superhero shows that are made for kids: At what point does your human identity become the facade? The Green Goblin and Peter Parker aren’t opposites; they’re both freaks who only find respite and fulfillment when they wear their masks. Peter Parker is a bespectacled shell of a nerd. It’s only when he’s Spider-Man, quipping and punching with psychopathic consistency, that his actual mask gets taken off.

Anyway, Green Goblin (Norman Osborn) fakes a leg injury and then retreats back to his home. There, he finds his son passed out, breaks his own son’s fucking leg, and puts the Goblin costume on him. Then, when Spider-Man gets there, Norman is all like “We gotta get my son some help. He’s really sick. See, his leg is broken. He’s helpless. WINK.” So yeah, if you want to watch something with all the fun of a Marvel character and all the “Oh my god, no” of comic book child abuse, this is a good one. Jeez. Maybe you should’ve just gone to a costume party or something, y’all.

3

Any Roseanne Halloween Episode

If you grew up in a small town like I did, you know that Halloweens are a gamble. You’ll get to go trick-or-treating, but only if your parents are down to drive you to a more populated place that supports such an activity. Otherwise you’re just trudging in a ditch down a lonely country road, hoping that a passing car doesn’t hit you and ruin your Dollar Store Wolfman mask and spill all of your candy. And when you age out of that, you go to a local haunted maze, which never fails to be out in the middle of nowhere. There, you watch theatrical rednecks rev chainsaws, wave severed prop heads, and ignore copyright infringements. In North Carolina, you don’t legally reach puberty until you’ve held someone’s hand through the Hacker House. It’s the law.

One of the draws of the sitcom Roseanne was that it was about a lower-middle-class family. So many sitcoms were based around how cool it would be to have friends in New York City, or how great it would be if you could shove a dozen family members into the same piece of prime San Francisco real estate. But Roseanne was hunkered down in the suburbs. The main set looked like it had been cobbled together from a thrift store’s going-out-of-business sale, the costumes were from a Fashion Bug clearance rack, and the family was loud and loving, just like mine.

Except on Halloween.

The Halloween episodes of Roseanne are things of sitcom legend. Barely having anything to do with the show itself, the Halloween episodes would go all out and present an alternate Roseanne reality where the family could suddenly afford elaborate costumes and expensive makeup. Halloween was the biggest day of the year (as it should be in all worlds, fictional or otherwise), and the usual relaxed pace of a Roseanne episode was replaced by a frantic joke parade. And for me, it was pure wish fulfillment.

You wanted to have a Roseanne Halloween. A Halloween where you could buy that expensive costume that you saw at the mall and run around and play pranks on everyone. A Halloween where you could go trick-or-treating with your friends, because most houses were less than a quarter of a mile from each other. A Halloween where everyone, adults included, understood how important Halloween was to you.

The Halloweens I experienced as a kid were fucking wonderful. But just once, I wanted a Roseanne Halloween.

2

How I Met Your Mother: “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns”

I moved from North Carolina to NYC, because it’s the true path of an artist to be miserable in a small town and then move to a large town where you’re only mostly miserable. And it’s there that I learned that you will see most of the people you know maybe once every few months. It’s just hard to hang out with people. Sure, a subway system connects the whole city, but deciding to use it is flipping the coin on whether a particular train works that day or not. So you’ll go a long time without seeing someone important to you. “Oh, I remember you! You were at that thing in 1988! New Jersey now, huh?”

The How I Met Your Mother Halloween episode “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns” gets that more than most NYC-based sitcoms. In it, human sweater vest Ted Mosby finally meets up with a girl that he saw at a Halloween party years earlier. She’d been dressed as a pumpkin, and as he did with most things with a pulse, he fell in love with her. But now, upon meeting her and dating her, he finds that they have absolutely no spark. Sitcoms, right? One minute you’re in a zany situation, the next you’re finding out that you’ve spent the last ten years pining after a lie. Laugh track!

Halloween in a big city is weird. On one hand, you want to explore what it has to offer, but it’s easy to get discouraged by the fact that you know that something like “HALLOWEEN PARTY FEATURING DJ QUANTUM. HALF-OFF SHOTS. PEOPLE IN COSTUMES GET A FREE PUMPKIN TEQUILA ENEMA” will attract roughly 30,000 people. So you go to parties, where you make friends you don’t see again for eight years. And so your big-city circle of friends becomes a mix of a core group you hang out with constantly and people you see once a decade. It’s kind of nice, especially in a sea of sitcoms that portray NYC as a place where you apparently can teleport from borough to borough, never having to worry about petty things like time or physics.

1

Walker, Texas Ranger: “The Children Of Halloween”

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to watch Walker, Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris is a pretty cartoonish figure in pop culture, but most episodes of Walker are a slog. Chuck kicks some criminals, administers a moral lesson, and talks down to everyone. Chuck Norris is judge, jury, executioner, God, Jesus, and Shakespeare in Walker, Texas Ranger. Somehow, Chuck Norris made a show about roundhouse kicks into something as boring as a Pat Robertson colonoscopy.

However, if you’re looking for something that is simultaneously a piece of batshit holiday insanity and the Walker-est Texas-est Ranger-est episode of Walker, Texas Ranger ever, watch “The Children Of Halloween.” It opens with Norris scoffing at his black co-worker’s George Washington Carver costume. Walker is a Texas Ranger, but more than that, he’s an awful dickhead.

One scene of men in ape masks shooting machine guns at a convenience store for no reason later, and we get a touching montage of kids practicing martial arts that feels like it lasts two hours. One of those kids is abducted by a satanic cult, and Walker is dropped into a race against time to stop children from being sacrificed. How spooky is all of this? So spooky that the opening credits adopt a Tales From The Crypt font and show us a cemetery with a blue filter over it. Fucking boo.

Sony Pictures Television Distribution

That’s ultimate spooky.

Regardless, Walker has never met a problem he couldn’t quite easily resolve by beating it unconscious. In the nick of time, he literally flies onto the screen with a side-kick, and then breaks a Satan worshiper’s neck in front of a group of stunned children. He proceeds to kick an entire cult into submission and saves the day. Walker finishes the episode by drinking coffee in a bar while ignoring the women who hit on him, because as the theme song says, “That’s what a ranger’s gonna be.” Yep. Murder a bunch of strangers in front of elementary schoolers and never have sex, like, ever. It’s what a ranger’s gonna be. Who am I to argue?

Daniel has a spooky, scary Twitter.

The Simpsons Tree House of Horror Collection is objectively the greatest Halloween TV you’ll ever find on this Earth. Enjoy!

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Unnecessarily Horrifying Episodes Of Beloved Kids Shows and 5 Inexplicably Creepy Episodes of Family Friendly TV Shows.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The Darkest Episode of an 80’s Sitcom Ever, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook. Boo!

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/06/the-5-best-halloween-episodes-you-should-watch-tonight/