thorston & thorston

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for tagging me, @omgpurplefattie!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

78 😅

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

864,062 - this is apparently just a bit more than Gone With The Wind....twice. I don't know how to feel about this.

What fandoms do you write for?

The Untamed (I have also written a handful of fics for Word of Honor and a very tiny one-shot for Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I'm definitely a CQL/MDZS author lol)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Need Tending - A very young, tiny Wangxian meet as children in Yunmeng and canon diverges sweetly from there.

Unexpected Solutions - LXC POV - What if the other sect leaders got to see the Burial Mounds instead of taking JGS's word for it that WWX was raising an army?

You Are Of Their Ilk - Sequel to You Need Tending, a LQR-centric fic examining what it's like to actually raise the Jades (and WWX) when he's got a Sect to run and parenting insecurities to overcome.

Plans To Make - A Wangxian-centric Time Travel Fix-it AU, technically the prequel fic to my first 3zun fic (in which the fixings-of-it have already been done and the post-canon, 5-years-in-seclusion Lan Xichen wakes up in the altered timeline wondering how the hell he has two husbands who are definitely not dead).

Professor Lan, Babysitter Extraordinaire - Modern AU Professor!LWJ spends an afternoon minding A-Yuan for Mature Student!WWX and is instantly charmed.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes! I used to respond to every single comment I got when I first started posting, but then I just got really overwhelmed and had to stop, and I've never picked up the habit again. If I feel particularly strongly about a comment or have something specific to say I'll try to respond, but otherwise I bask in them all silently (sorry, and I love y'all, I really do read every single comment I swear).

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Shadow's Call - An extremely depressed Lan Xichen is violently dragged out of his seclusion in the Hanshi 8 years post-canon by fierce corpse NieYao, who definitely aren't sentient at all but still somehow feel incomplete without their third.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Aside from The Shadow's Call all of my fics end happily!! I just can't do the depressing ones most of the time 😅 I think some of my favorite happy endings for various reasons, though, are The Sculptor, After Each Midnight Begins A New Day, anything in the Orville Peck Cinematic Universe, and anything from the 90's Strip Mall AU, Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center. (Everything in the last two especially is just pure feel-good fluff, not only the endings haha)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore! The XiYao troll must have found something better to do so we can now like JGY in peace 😌

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I don't know what kind though 😅 the smutty kind? I don't really delve too deeply into kink or BDSM, and I don't write omegaverse or tentacles or anything all that creative; I just write what I would consider bog standard 'I'm ace and I understand people like doing this, I really hope the allos find this enjoyable to read' kind of smut. (Usually for me it's more about the emotional impact/character development use of it rather than the porn-y-ness of it, if that helps??)

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope! I like writing AU's of my favorite ships blended with other media I like, but not direct crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Вони — це ми/ They Are Us is a Ukrainian translation by sandbranco of 'They Are Us', El escultor By Eleanor_Fenyx is a Spanish Translation by ellieffect and KabiBaali of 'The Sculptor', and another Spanish Translation of 'The Sculptor' by GabyObando13. I'm always so flattered when someone likes something of mine enough to do such an incredible labor of love as translating it ❤

What's your all-time favorite ship?

3zun, my beloveds

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Plans To Make - In an ideal world I would finish this soon so I can stop being eaten up with low-simmering guilt about it (along with several other projects, let's be real), but the fact of the matter is that I never actually wanted to write the full fix-it for this universe in the first place. I started Lan Xichen's introduction into this universe after the fix-it has already happened partially because I find that dynamic of a depressed Lan Xichen suddenly partnered with a happily married NieYao really interesting, but also because I don't like all the tangled threads of a universe-wide fix-it and I knew I'd get way too bogged down in details to really enjoy it. That's exactly what's happened, and that's partially why the fic has been sitting so long without an update. I do really want to finish it one day, though.

What are your writing strengths?

I occasionally get comments praising my characterization/character voices, so hopefully that's one. I also like to think that I do a decent job with accurately communicating both relatable and not-quite-as-relatable experiences - queerness of various flavors, neurodivergence, strangely specific life experiences...I usually try to write what I know, and I'm always happy when it resonates with people in the ways that I'd hoped for while writing them.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I can get sooo long-winded, and I'm also kind of bad for setting up plotty bits in my longer fics that I never actually follow through on.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

The furthest I'll go is honorifics that I'm confident with using, I absolutely do not trust myself or any online translator to attempt whole lines of dialogue.

First fandom you wrote for?

BBC Sherlock - those fics are all orphaned now, though

Favorite fic you've written?

I'm going to choose three just because I can: After Each Midnight Begins A New Day (3zun), The Sculptor (Wangxian), and Main Objective : Destroy Yiling Laozu (Breath of the Wild AU, my beloved)

I'm going to tag: @little-smartass, @wei--wuxian, @scarlet-gryphon, @wishthatiwasnessiesgirl, @threephasebird, and anyone else who writes who wants to play!

Special Guest - Barbara Howard - Author of A Match Made in Murder (The Clover City Files) - #GuestPost / #Giveaway - Great Escapes Book Tour @bhowardphipps @barbarahoward

A Match Made in Murder (The Clover City Files) by Barbara Howard It is my pleasure to welcome Barbara Howard back to Escape With Dollycas today! Valentine's Day Picture this: an epic Valentine's Day wedding event, when the promise of eternal love hovers over twelve blissful couples, and passion permeates the air. However, hiding just beyond the emotional vows and champagne toasts, there's a murder most wicked that steals the happiness from the celebration. As an author, the prospect of crafting a cozy mystery set against the backdrop of a Valentine's Day wedding filled me with inspiration. From the outset, I knew that this story would be fun—a chance to explore the complexities of human relationships while weaving a tale of intrigue that would keep readers guessing until the very end. Amira Cooper and Harper Martinez, her closest friend, who are the story's amateur sleuths, delve deeper into the mystery, they uncover a web of secrets, lies, and hidden motives that cast suspicion on everyone in attendance. From hidden love affairs to long-held grudges, the suspects are as varied as they are compelling, each with their own motives and secrets waiting to be unearthed. But amidst the intrigue, there's also room for romance and laughter. The budding romance between the tabloid reporter and the rising star executive chef adds a touch of sweetness to the story, while the antics of the eccentric matchmaker inject moments of levity that serve to balance out the tension and suspense. The grandiose wedding event allowed me to infuse the story with a sense of whimsy and romance that added an extra layer of charm to the setting. And, the Valentine's Day holiday allowed for the exploration of themes such as love, commitment, and the complexities of human relationships. The juxtaposition of romance and murder creates a compelling narrative. Through the lens of Amira and Harper's investigation, readers are able to witness the resilience of the human spirit and the power of friendship in the face of adversity. There are moments of quiet reflection and connection—moments where their bond strengthens, and the true meaning of friendship shines through. And, as the story reaches its thrilling conclusion, with the killer unmasked and justice served, there's a sense of catharsis and closure—a reminder that even in the face of tragedy, love prevails. Finally, I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for joining me on this journey. Writing this mystery was a labor of love, and I hope that it brings a smile to your face and a touch of magic to your day. After all, the best stories are those that come straight from the heart. Thank you Barbara so much for visiting today! ____ Keep reading for more information about Barbara and A Match Made in Murder.  About A Match Made in Murder A Match Made in Murder (The Clover City Files) Cozy Mystery 3rd in Series Setting – Fictional small town, Clover City (Mid-West, USA) Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently Published (February 14, 2024) Paperback ‏ : ‎ 134 pages ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8224039555 Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CR44LMBR "In the heart of Clover City, love is a grand affair orchestrated by matchmaker extraordinaire, Fiona Murphy. But this Valentine's Day, her twelve perfect weddings become a chilling mystery. As the Boat House restaurant transforms from a haven of romance to a crime scene, 'A Match Made in Murder' unveils a tale where love and betrayal intermingle, and uncovering the truth becomes the ultimate act of love." In the heart of the charming town of Clover City, matchmaker extraordinaire, Fiona Murphy, is renowned for orchestrating love stories that culminate in dreamy weddings. This Valentine's Day, she's outdone herself by arranging twelve weddings in a grand celebration at the upscale Boat House restaurant, where love is on the menu and bliss is in the air. Among the attendees is Fiona’s efficient and loyal assistant, eager to ensure everything runs smoothly. There's also an unexpected guest—Fiona’s charismatic yet enigmatic ex-husband, whose presence adds a layer of complexity to the festivities. However, as the festivities kick off, a hushed realization sweeps through the gathering—someone is conspicuously absent. The joyous occasion takes a dark turn when a lifeless body is discovered, casting a shadow over the day meant for love and celebration. Suddenly, the Boat House transforms from a haven of romance to a crime scene, and everyone present becomes a suspect. With the victim silenced forever, secrets, grudges, and long-buried emotions rise to the surface. The task of unraveling the twisted threads of this romantic tragedy falls into the hands of the local patrons, as the Boat House becomes a stage for a mystery where the appetizer is suspicion, the main course is intrigue, and the dessert is justice. Bonus: Recipes included. About Barbara Howard  Barbara Howard is an author of mystery stories featuring a female amateur sleuth, diverse characters, and a dash of romance. Barbara Howard is the author of two cozy mystery series; Finding Home and The Clover City Files. Her stories feature a female amateur sleuth, diverse characters, and a dash of romance. She is a first-generation tech geek turned master gardener. Ms. Howard returned to her Midwestern hometown after an extensive career as a Department of Defense Project Manager at the Pentagon, KPMG Eastern Region Project Leader, and Corporate Sales Representative for Borders Books & Music. She now spends most of her time treasure hunting, spoiling her fur-babies, growing veggies, and plotting whodunits. Author Social Media Links Website Facebook   GoodReads    Instagram    Pinterest    Blue Sky Social    Twitter/X Purchase Links Amazon  TOUR PARTICIPANTS - Please visit all the stops.  April 24 – Mystery, Thrillers, and Suspense – SPOTLIGHT April 25 – Maureen's Musings – SPOTLIGHT April 26 – Literary Gold – AUTHOR INTERVIEW April 27 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – AUTHOR GUEST POST April 28 – Guatemala Paula Loves to Read – SPOTLIGHT April 29 – Elizabeth McKenna - Author – SPOTLIGHT April 30 – Christy's Cozy Corners – CHARACTER GUEST POST May 1 – Socrates Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT May 2 – MJB Reviewers – SPOTLIGHT May 3 – FUONLYKNEW – SPOTLIGHT May 4 – StoreyBook Reviews – AUTHOR GUEST POST May 5 – Sapphyria's Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT May 6 – Celticlady's Reviews – RECIPE POST May 7 – Baroness Book Trove – SPOTLIGHT a Rafflecopter giveaway Have you signed up to be a Tour Host? Click Here to Find Details and Sign Up Today! Want to Book a Tour? Click Here Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent Read the full article

Death at Beresford Hall  by Emma Davies  (The Adam and Eve Mystery Series #4)

Francesca Eve, chef, caterer, and baker extraordinaire, has never desired the limelight. But when she’s accepted onto the country’s favourite cooking competition, she can’t help but wonder – what would it be like to win? The one thing she’d never imagined, though, was sharing the kitchen with a killer…

When Francesca Eve arrives for the Christmas special of the country’s most popular baking competition, she knows she’s out of her depth. For not only is she there undercover, reluctantly investigating strange threats to Miranda Appleby, the famous presenter-come-chef, but she swiftly gets roped into competing herself when another contestant can’t cut the mustard and quits. Cooking may be bread and butter to Fran, but under the bright lights her cranberry sauce won’t set and her mince pies burn. When the real reason she’s there ends in total failure and Miranda is found with a cake slice through the heart - ‘lights, camera, cook’ becomes ‘lights, camera, murder…’ Miranda may have looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but looks can be deceiving… From her harassed PA to the rakish producer and even the disappointed contestants, everyone on set seemingly had reason enough to want to bump her off. But who would be nuts enough to cook Miranda’s goose in such an obvious way? As the police arrive to take over the investigation, Fran can’t help but continue her own lines of enquiry. She’s come to know the crew and contestants and can’t believe that any one of them would be guilty. But Fran must harden her heart to her new friends and focus her mind. Someone may have thought Miranda was justifiably given her just desserts, but what Fran uncovers takes things to a whole new tier. Can Fran uncover the truth before another death occurs, and before the spirit of Christmas (cake) is ruined forever?

Buy Link: https://geni.us/B0BD8WH7FFsocial

My Review: Fran and Adam are an unlikely couple of amateur sleuth but their differences and their skills make them a highly effective duo. They're so good that DCI Bradley asked them to investigate on some threat that Miranda Appleby, a  tv presenter. This is the start of the 4th instalment in this series and each one is better than the previous as there's always a variety of settings, type of people and different puzzles to solve. Miranda wasn't a very nice persone and I loved how Fran and Adam were able to discover the culprit investigating but always being realistic and entertaining at the same. This unlikely couple is well developed and likeable. Fran's social and culinary skills works well with Adam's technical and logical skill. This entertaining and compelling story kept hooked and guessing. It's full of unexpected turns and I read it in one evening as I couldn't put it down. I hope there's going to be a lot of other investigations, this one is highly recommended. Highly recommended. Many thanks to Bookouture for this arc, all opinions are mine

The Author After a varied career, Emma Davies once worked for a design studio where she was asked to provide a fun and humorous (and not necessarily true) anecdote for their website. She wrote the following: 'I am a bestselling novelist currently masquerading as a thirty something mother of three.' Well the job in the design studio didn't work out but she's now a forty something mother of three and is happy to report the rest of her dream came true. After many years as a finance manager she now writes full time, and is far happier playing with words than numbers. She lives with her husband, three children, and two guinea pigs in rural Shropshire where she writes in all the gaps in between real life. It's a county she adores, her love of its beautiful people and landscapes providing endless inspiration for her books, and in fact the only thing that would make Shropshire more idyllic is if it were by the sea.

Pop over to her website www.emmadaviesauthor.com where, amongst other things, you can read about her passion for Pringles and singing loudly in the car. You can also wave to her on twitter @EmDaviesAuthor or find her on Facebook (a little too often than is good for her).

Social Media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emmadaviesauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/EmDaviesAuthor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authoremmadavies/ Website: www.emmadaviesauthor.com Bookouture Email Sign-up: https://www.bookouture.com/emma-davies

Seven Shades of Weasley (2021) :

@sevenshadesofdrarry || official tag || AO3 || ∑ = 7 works The Mods : @drarrelie & @janieohio

1. Bill | Comfort & Joy by @jessica-doom [M, 5k]

In a way it never had before, Christmas suddenly felt so entirely domestic to Draco. [...] But the feeling went even deeper than those surface signs. It was an intrinsic feeling he had of warmth and wholeness, so new and unlike anything else. A feeling which was very nearly ruined when Harry brought an unexpected guest to Christmas Eve dinner.

2. Charlie | Good Job, Healer Malfoy! by @janieohio [T, 6k]

What do you do when the guy you’re crushing on is already in a great relationship and you’re his Healer? No, really, what do you do? Draco wants to know.

3. Percy | My Crush on You Has Never Faded (Let’s Go Back to Bed Until We Break It) by @evaeleanor [E, 6k]

Draco’s life could be so perfect. He’s got a marvellous roommate (with an even more marvellous cock), an amazing job, and doesn’t waste away in Azkaban. The obstacle in his way: Percy Weasley, boss extraordinaire.

4. Fred | He Lives in You by @drarrelie [G, 6k]

When the whirlwind that is Harry Potter approaches him to commission a portrait, Draco knows he has to say no. Too bad the annoyingly cheerful git won’t let him. // Or, how getting to know a deceased Weasley turns out to be a life-changing experience.

5. George | The Night When All Your Dreams Are Supposed To Come True by @ladderofyears [T, 6k]

Arsenal are on the telly, so Harry and George settle in to enjoy the match. As they watch, Harry tells his best mate the story of what occurred on Christmas Eve, and how Draco Malfoy and he went from being friends to being something far more significant.

6. Ron | Super Sleuths And Dicking Around by @drarrymadhatterstuff [E, 5k]

Harry’s been acting strange lately, very strange. Hermione is convinced he’s in love, whereas Ron thinks he’s working too hard. To find out the truth, they both snoop around in Harry’s room one evening. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

7. Ginny | Your Local Lesbian's Guide to Wooing Draco Malfoy by @gildedscripture [T, 3k]

Your Local Lesbian's Guide to Wooing Draco Malfoy by Ginevra Weasley (author of critically acclaimed tome Taking the Broom Out of The Closet: A Memoir and Six Signs You're A Lesbian) is a helpful step-by-step introduction to the confusing and exciting world of courting Malfoy heirs!

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✔ other fests in 2021 ✔ fests in other years ✔ Seven Shades of Drarry : ~ of Sin 2020 | ~ of Summer 2020 | ~ of Magic 2020 | Secret Santa Exchange 2020

Rik got the same flowers. So....

Sigh. Deep, deep sigh. I was already debating on not addressing my last post because I’m already all cozied up in bed, ready for sleep but okay, Anon, I’ll indulge you because why the hell not.

Listen carefully. This is not my first fandom, nor likely will it be the last. Why do you think that is? Why do you think I’m even here in the first place? Not that you care, or anyone else, save myself but I’ll tell you anyway. I’m here to have fun. I’m here because I love seeing love and supporting it and spreading it. I’m not here to bother other people and force my SamCait fantasies onto them because I do not know any of you and I could care less about what you believe in.

Now, in case you’re forgetting, the couple in question that I’m shipping is Sam Roland Heughan and Caitríona Mary Balfe. They’re not “publicly official” and again, I’ll say it, this is not my first rodeo so I know what happens to a shipper fandom when the couple hasn’t gone public. If you missed the memo, let me catch you up: the next step is the fandom turns into Super Sleuth Extraordinaires.

But get this, and play close attention because this is important: it’s all speculations. Nothing is final. Nothing is confirmed. Nothing is equivalent to the word of God or Zeus or whatever deity you believe in. When fans find something, or think they’ve found something, they’ll most likely want to share because that’s what a fandom is for. It’s what fans and shippers and onlys and antis and skeptics and believers come everyday on this hell site for. But guess what, Anon? Nobody knows anything, knows the absolute truth, save for the two people that are the reason I’m answering this ask in the first place. Will that stop people from posting theories? Fuck no. And that’s when the fun begins. If you care to join us, you’re welcome to. If you wanna become part of the Fandom Police, hate to break it to you, but I’m a human rights activist in real life and you know how that goes.

This episode of my word vomit has gone long enough so... For my parting words to everyone wanting to come after my neck for a simple post that I made after seeing Cait received flowers from Sam, whether it was for promo or not, but I found cute nonetheless because, duh, flowers — kiss my ass. Toodles.

An overall rant about this season’s misery porn (and then, upwards!)

Darkness and shipping surprises have always been Riverdale’s m.o.

S1: it’s dark and we won’t do the Archie comics triangle!

S2: it’s dark and here’s Toni who might cause Bughead trouble!

S3: it’s dark and Archie goes to jail! What will become of Varchie?

S4: it’s dark and watch out for those resurfacing b*rchie feelings!

S5: our heroes are in a dark place, also: here’s b*rchie!

S6: it’s going to be dark and we have new couples!

The recycling method has been applied to the plot as well, with each season’s story line going absolutely nowhere: there is a mystery in the first episodes, followed by irrelevant filler material, followed by the denouement in the penultimate episode. By the end of the season, everyone is back where they started, since there is no real character development. The Riverdale protagonists are archetypical characters more than anything. And the supporting cast is bent to each new story line’s needs.

Shipping aside (although shipping has been Riverdale’s most attractive feature), these plots have been at least somewhat engaging.

In s1 we were discovering the characters (who were quite different from their counterparts in the comics) and their parents’ secrets. In s2 there was that dreadful gentrification b***s*** and Veronica gaslighting her friends (still salty about that) but, at least, there was the whole underdogs (Serpents) vs The Man (Hiram) vibe. In s3 we had a serial murderer who wore sticks on his head and a cult leader harvesting organs who wanted to ascend via rocket ship. Serial murderers and cult leaders should not be funny, but these ones were absolutely hilarious! S4 gave us Bret and Donna, Villains Extraordinaire, both wanting to kill and bone Jughead and Betty respectively. Those were the times!

And then, there’s season 5. Where everyone is severely traumatized and murders are happening by the f***ing bucket (both TBK and the Lonely Highway killer being active for years). And what is happening exactly in the Town Formerly Known As Riverdale is this: the situation is so bad that a lot of the town’s women (but never the men) have to become sex workers. And then, they get tortured and brutally murdered (off-screen so that it won’t matter). But -and this is very important- never raped. (Small -albeit hypocritical- mercies).

And how do our heroes try to remedy that? Archie saves dogs, Veronica prints monopoly money, Cheryl manifests the stigmata of the holy wounds of Jason, Jughead has a (what turns out to be) completely unrelated storyline about rabies and Betty, more invested in her own sister than anyone else, is a complete mess, because, evidently, Yale and FBI training made her forget how to sleuth.

I didn’t think there would be a more offending storyline than the gentrification one in s2 and, yet, here we are.

What is the premise of this astounding plot?

There is a family. One daughter has enough money to go through Yale (student loans and all but still). The other daughter is so destitute, she becomes a sex worker. Why? Well, it’s either because she doesn’t have enough money for her two children, whose super doting aunt is one of the wealthiest people in Riverdale (well, rich enough to keep a whole school up and working for a whole year) or to feed her drug addiction, because, you know, she couldn’t have done that on a waitress’ salary (although Jughead did manage to fend off loan sharks by becoming a busboy).

This. This is the premise of season 5. This is how sixteen professional writers plotted their season.

By the way, this is a list of the characters who were introduced in s5, and who -ultimately- had no actual impact in the storyline:

Eric

Chadwick Gecko

Glen Scot

Jessica

Cora

Samm Pansky

and, yes, I’m sad to say: The Pussycats

I’m positive that 5x18 and 5x19 will give rise to many a negative comment but I’ve decided that this will be my last negative post for the season. Enough is enough.

I’m not going anywhere though: there are funny summaries to be written, wonderful fics to be read, incredible art and gif sets to delight in, lovely people to discuss the things we do like about Riverdale, . Or, one can take a break. As @thepointoftheneedle once very sagely commented: this is not compulsory viewing. 

untamed modern AU in which nhs anonymously starts a true crime podcast investigating the death...of his own brother...not that the listeners know that...and gets guests in to help with the investigation:

lan wangji (history adjunct professor, first chair violinist for local orchestra, perpetual grad student, knows a lot of things about a lot of things but is absolutely the worst person to have call in to your podcast...where people have to talk about things...out loud...)

wei wuxian (just got out of jail, spent the past however-many years doing time for something he KNOWS he didn’t do; this becomes a minor sideplot investigation into who set him up (it was jgy) and ties into the main mystery. great guest but has a tendency to dominate the conversation when excited)

lan xichen (engaged to the deceased, this episode is an exercise in deep, deep, painful discomfort and secondhand awkwardness because it comes at a point AFTER the audience realizes that their intrepid host is in fact the oft-mentioned but never-interviewed surviving nie brother but BEFORE any of the other characters know it. least of all lan xichen, who is barely keeping it together as The Host asks him gentle but pointed questions about where his current fiance was the night his ex died and is too generally upset to see through nhs’s admittedly excellent voice work)

jiang cheng (there’s actually no real reason why he’s been invited because he is not an expert on any of the major points of the investigation, but during the side sleuthing into wwx’s frame job he and The Host sort of find they get along so now nhs keeps coming up with excuses to have him call in and record a guest spot. jiang cheng still doesn't recognize the voice of his high school crush, although we get the impression that wwx figured it out a while ago and is keeping mum for his own inscrutable reasons)

luo “mianmian” qingyang (private investigator, takes herself seriously and haaaates it when you call her a fuzzy baby sheep but cannot escape her own adorable nickname. has a good few years of solidly closed cold cases under her belt and agrees to become a recurring guest consultant because she likes a challenge and because she used to know the victim back in her college sport days and they really got on. feels a sense of personal need for closure as well as a thirst for justice)

qin su (previous fiance of lan xichen’s current fiance - it’s a tangled mess of jin family politics and she agrees to help the investigation despite really just wanting to live a quiet life with her kid, rusong. as the investigation deepens and the true history of her past relationship comes to light, she goes through some very rough times and contemplates some dark shit - but with the support of the other characters, survives to see her manipulator get his just desserts).

and of course, your favorite - my favorite - everybody’s favorite! - wen qing, medical consultant extraordinaire. she’s worked as a surgeon and is currently a coroner, and is usually happy to pop in whenever she has a free minute to record a guest spot diving into whatever weird body horror stuff is happening in the research of the week, or answer The Host’s questions. she’s very popular with the audience for her no-nonsense approach to the whole armchair-investigation thing, her friendly manner, and her reams of cool, creepy anatomy facts, which she loves to share with a deadpan grossout joy . multiple listeners, mostly the sapphic ones, have written in offering their hands in marriage but she graciously declines them all, because she’s a professional

actually maybe the wwx plot takes place BEFORE the nmj plot only in that. nhs investigates a lot of things while putting his brother’s case on the back burner. he’s not ready to share his work until he’s made some headway, so he bulks up his rep as an armchair investigator in the meantime by, as The Host, working his way through a lot of untamedverse mysteries. so we get arcs like:

Yi City: The Making of a Ghost Town (local serial killer)

The Incredibly Weird Story of Modern Artifact Smuggling (featuring a possibly apocryphal snake turtle)

arc about the destruction of Yunmeng and a family in crisis that i’m too lazy to name right now

Burial: the Dismantling and Framing of a Controversial Hero

and finally, when he’s run out of other cases to procrastinate with, the big one:

Who Killed Nie Mingjue?

ex. of an excerpt bc im too lazy and busy to write this whole fic but its eating up my brainspace with how goddamn good it is:

"...but it would be wrong to say that this town has given up all its secrets. Why did Xue Yang never notice that Xiao Qing wasn't blind? Or did he know, and keep the information to himself? What happened to the original inhabitants of the house? The place was abandoned by the time the Xiaos got there, and for all the times the survivors have been interviewed, it’s clear that even Qing, the only local of the bunch, has never known why. So we can only guess. And perhaps most puzzlingly, to me at least: who does that body in the basement belong to? Buried without ceremony in a hollow of concrete, headless, unknown, unclaimed? One last victim of the Yi City Killer? The Yi City Killer almost never went to such lengths to hide bodies, and he wasn’t interested in dismembering or disfiguring his conquests. He was a spree slaughterer, and the body in the basement, while still unidentified, has certain markers that seem to suggest its fate was more personal in nature. Not to mention, if the head’s not with the body - does someone still have it? It goes without saying that the odds of two killers operating out of the same extremely specific location, totally unknown to each other, is extremely small. So was the body in the basement, after all, just one more casualty of an insatiable ghost town? Maybe. Or maybe there’s something else happening there. Something deeper. Something it’ll take a lot longer than five forty-minute episodes with ad breaks to figure out. Something... 

...that's a mystery for another day, because right now we're all out of time. Until that day comes, I'm your Host. And this is The Unsolved."

About two month ago started a new Sims 4 account which has a Hetalia character as townies. I don’t have all the packs for Sims 4 but I do use a lot of Mods to do this. Most of the house building I found online.

Each household has background and drama which was fun the think about. I have written over 10 pages of notes for this town so enjoy.   

Luper Family

Boris Luper (Bulgaria) - CHILD, VAMPIRE Traits – Cheerful/ Aspiration – Whiz Kid  

Vladimir Luper (Romania) - ADULT, VAMPIRE Traits – Good, Cheerful, Family- Oriented/ Aspiration – Good Vampire

Mai - (Cat) Traits – Affectionate, Clever, Friendly

Vladimir (Vlad) adopted Boris because of his vampire powers

They took Mia in as most people think black cats are unlucky

Vald doesn’t need the money but has a part time job at a coffee shop

Vlad and Arthur have afternoon tea once a month

Vlad wants Boris to be creative so he started playing the violin

Positive atmosphere in the house

Vlad will cook for Boris as he can still eat human food however not very good

Vlad is a good vampire

Vlad hobby is annoying Elizabeta  

Boris talks to Mia when Vlad goes out

Oxenstierna Family  

Berwald Oxenstierna (Sweden) - YOUNG ADULT Traits – Family – Oriented, Bookworm, Perfectionist/ Aspiration – Successful Lineage

Simon Oxenstierna (Denmark) - YOUNG ADULT Traits – Bro, Goofball, Self- Assured/ Aspiration – Fabuluosly Wealthy

Tino Oxenstierna (Finland) - YOUNG ADULT Traits – Good, Goofball, Cheerful/ Aspiration – Soulmate

Lukas Bondevik (Norway) - YOUNG ADULT/MAGIC Traits – Family- Oriented, Love Outdoors, Bookworm/ Aspiration – Purveyor of Polions

Emil Bondevik (Iceland) - TEEN Traits – Gloomy, Loner/ Aspiration - Angling Ace

Charlotte (Dog) Traits – Jumpy, Smart, Independent

Berwald and Tino are married, Simon is in a relationship with Lukas and Emil is Lukas brother.

Berwald and Simon are brothers but 90% they can’t agree to anything which leave them fighting over stupid things. For example TV remote, who cleaning up and food shopping

Simon is a Manager of a top end company, to bad he to lazy to move out.  

Everyone love Charlotte that the dog get the best treats and love.

Emil keep to himself and hide in the bedroom. No one know he seeing someone 😛

Lukas is over protective with Emil

Tino is a stay at home mum so he does most of the cleaning which Lukas help out using magic

Berwald my find it difficult expressing himself with words but he good at writing it down. His works as a writer.

Simon my be a pain but always help out with bills  

Tino take any holiday seriously!

Wang Family  

Yao Wang (China) - ADULT Traits – Materialistic, Family- Oriented, Foodie/ Aspiration – Master Chef

Kiku Wang (Japan) - TEEN Traits – Genious, Geek/ Aspiration – Computer Whiz

Li Xiao Wang (Hong Kong) - TEEN Traits – Creative, Gloomy/ Aspiration – Musical Genius  

Im Yong Wang (South Korea) - CHILD Traits – Goofball/ Aspiration – Artistic Prodigy

Lin Yi Wang (Taiwan) Traits – Cheerful/ Aspiration – Rambunctious

Pochi (Dog) Traits – Loyal, Smart, Adventurous  

Yao work as a Chef  

Lin Yi wanted a dog for a very long time so Yao after work went and bought a dog so she can shut up.  

Yao favourite is Kiku because of his talent this make Li Xi jealous.  

Yao too old to deal with drama.

Every meal everyone must come to the table and sit together as a family

Lin Yi and Im Yong are trouble maker when bored.

Kiku goes to see Alfred for game night

Lin Yi love flowers  

Li Xiao goes to Emil for emotional support

Yao helps other household with meals

Belischmidt Family  

Gilbert Belischmidt (Prussia) - ADULT Traits – Family –Oriented, Self- Assured, Dog Lover/ Aspiration – Friend of the Animals

Ludwig Belischmidt (German) - TEEN Traits – Active, Bookworm/ Aspiration –Academic

Aster (Dog) Traits – Smart, Couch Potato, Friendly

Blockie (Dog) Traits – Adventurous, Active, Independent

Berlitz (Dog) Traits – Sleuth, Couch Potato, Friendly  

Gilbert work as a manual laborer great at his job and the people love him

Francis or Antonio will walk into the house at random times

All dogs are well behaviour and won't hurt anybody

Ludwig can be shy when near to Feliciano

Every Sunday they have a father and son time which include playing football or watch TV

Gilbert is trying to give up drinking because one time he got so drunk Ludwig had to help him get home.

Gilbert and Elizabeta are rivals with who can do the most push ups  

Ludwig very close to his dad will ask about anything

Gilbert want more dogs in the future

Ludwig need to relax than worry what other people will think about him 

Edelstein Family  

Roderick Edelstein (Austria) - ADULT Traits – Snob, Lazy, Music Lover/ Aspiration – Musical Genius  

Elizabeta Edelstein (Hungary) - ADULT Traits – Active, Good, Cat Lover/ Aspiration – Bodybuilder

Feliciano Edelstein (North Italy) - TEEN Traits – Creative, Art Lover/ Aspiration – Painter Extraordinaire  

Buffi (Cat) Traits – Affectionate, Friendly, Lazy

Roderick work as a professional pianist

Elizabeta is a stay at home mum but gets bored so she goes to the gym or babysit other children round the area

Felliciano has a twin brother (Lovino) but got kick out over a disagreement with the father

Elizabeta still upset about Lovino but Roderick won't speak to him

Elizabeta and Feliciano cook together  

Buffi is the best hot water bottle  

Roderick will drop dead if he has to clean  

Feliciano spend 65% of the time napping

You can tell what mood Roderick by the way he plays on the piano

There is always music playing in the house

Carriedo Family  

Antonio Carriedo (Spain) – ADULT Traits – Childish, Music Lover, Clumsy /Aspiration - Freelance Botanist

Lovino Edelstein (South Italy)- TEEN Traits – Hot-Headed, Loner/ Aspiration – Master Chef

Antonio is a part-time gardener

Lovino ran away because of an argument with his dad. He doesn’t talk about it but grateful Antonio support him.

Antonio is an old friend of the Edelstein family that why Lovino know him

Antonio is very patient with Lovino

Lovino really miss spending time with his brother

Lovino gets jealous when Antonio goes out with Gilbert or Francis  

Lovino like his own space but does get lonely

Antonio just wants everyone to be happy and will do anything to help them

Tomato solve everything  

Lovino is angry with everything including himself

Branginsky Family  

Katyusha Branginsky (Ukraine) – YOUNG ADULT Traits – Clumsy, Family- Oriented, Neat/ Aspiration – Successful Lincage

Natalia Branginsky (Belarus) - CHILD/MAGIC Traits – Mean/ Aspiration – Whiz Kid

Ivan Branginsky (Russia) - TEEN Traits – Borderline Personality Disorder, Shy/ Aspiration – Big Happy Family

Katyusha work at a coffee shop, she tries to be the older sister but is ashamed about how little money they have

Very poor but they get by

Natalia has a ghost friend that she talk to at night

Ivan want friends doesn’t know how to do it without freaking people or say something weird

Natalia is slowly making friends

Katyusha gets worried when Ivan doesn’t want to leave his bedroom

Ivan will knit anything  

Yao will come by with food

Something always breaks in the house

Natalia is scary when she angry

(Will Upload image soon!!!!!)

Zwingli Family  

Basch Zwingli (Switzerland) - ADULT Traits – Family- Oriented, Loner, Perfectionst/ Aspiration – Successful Lineage

Eva Zwingli (Liechtenstein) - CHILD Traits – Good/ Aspiration – Artistic Prodigy  

Basch is Eva father  

Basch is the chief of the town

Basch double check people background (doesn’t trust no one)

Eva doesn’t have a bad bone in her body  

Elizabeta babysits Eva when Basch is busy working

Basch and Roderick are old friends  

If anyone upset Eva expect Basch to threaten them with his gun

Eva love drawing pictures of Basch looking happy  

Eva is really good friends with Natatia  

Basch never talks about his job

Kirkland Family  

Arthur Kirkland (England) - ADULT/MAGIC Traits – Hot-Headed, Bookworm, Snob/ Aspiration – Spellcraft + Sorcery

Alfred Kirkland (America) - TEEN Traits – Active, Goofball/ Aspiration – Leader of the Pack

Arthur work as a teacher  

Arthur is Alfred father  

Arthur is divorced to Francis. One night at a pub he saw Francis flirting with someone else. They spilt everything which including Alfred and Matthew.

Arthur not happy with Alfred tattoo even though he got a big tattoo on his arm when he was young

Alfred wants to be everyone friends and try to fix everyone problems which can make the issue a lot worst

Alfred doesn’t like Ivan because Ivan knows how insecure Alfred is with himself (doesn’t like rejection)

Arthur can’t cook but his magic can fix that

At times when they have a heated argument Arthur wish he had Matthew instead of Alfred

Alfred will make a cup of tea for Arthur before telling bad news (example bad report in school)

Alfred spend most of his time gaming or going out 

Bonnefoy Family  

Francis Bonnefoy (France) - ADULT Traits – Art Lover, Foodie, Romantic/ Aspiration – Soulmate

Matthew Bonnefoy (Canada) - TEEN Traits – Shy, Cheerful/ Aspiration – Bestselling Author  

Francis works as a celebrity chef  

Very close with Matthew will cook together

Alfred comes in after a big argument with his dad. Francis will reason that Arthur doesn’t mean what he says and love him no matter what

People who are not Francis, Alfred or Arthur will forget about Matthew  

Matthew start getting knitting gifts but doesn’t know who it’s from

Francis is back on the dating game but still thinks about Arthur and wants to give it another go

Matthew is never stress  

Arthur calls Matthew once a week to check up on him  

Francis regrets that night and tries to hide his emotion in front of Matthew and friends

Francis love his food however looking good is more important  

I also made clubs for everyone because I am THAT bored 😊

Freedom  - Party till they drop/ Having a great time/ Good vibes/ Away from family drama and life  

Gym  - To keep fit/ Started out with Simon and Berwald/ No drama or Basch will get involve/ Gilbert behave in the gym and it help him stop drinking  

Lets Party - Old friends meeting together/ All trying to get a date but end up getting drunk and gossiping all night/ Antonio end up paying for everyone drinks  

Playtime - Yao set up a play date so it keeps Im Yong and Lin Yin in line. That was a mistake/ Everyone friendly/ They love watching Pokemon/ If someone upset they help one another

      'Ohana' means 'family. ' 'Family' means 'no one gets left behind”

I hope people like this stupid project now I’m heading to the kitchen to drink my problems away 😛

Shampoo Sleuth

“Don’t despair! Use your head, save your hair! Use Fitch Shampoo!”

Before he sang his way through mystery and murder as Richard Diamond, Dick Powell hung out his shingle as a radio detective as private investigator Richard Rogue. The adventures of Rogue – and the show that would become Rogue’s Gallery – premiered on June 17, 1945.

Following his star turn as Philip Marlowe in Murder, My Sweet, Dick Powell found himself at a new stage of his career. With the acclaim he’d earned for his hard-boiled performance, Powell could finally shed the baby-faced crooner image that had defined his work up until that point. He used his clout and the momentum Marlowe brought him to approach the F.W. Fitch shampoo company with a proposal - a summer detective series to fill the weeks until their Fitch Bandwagon variety show returned to the air in the fall. Powell, a veteran performer on the Bandwagon, would headline the new series as a private detective cut from the Marlowe cloth. The result was Bandwagon Mysteries, Powell’s first weekly dramatic series and the introduction of Richard Rogue, a radio shamus who would crack cases on radio over the next seven years.

Bandwagon Mysteries premiered on NBC on June 17, 1945 and ran for fourteen weeks. By the end of the run, there was a demand for the show to continue but the regular Fitch Bandwagon program was slated to return to NBC after its summer vacation. Fitch shopped the series, now called Rogue’s Gallery to other networks. It landed at Mutual and began a thirty-nine-week run on September 27, 1945. When its Mutual season ended in June 1946, it returned to NBC as a summer replacement for Fitch Bandwagon. By this time, the show was so identified by its new title that it didn’t revert to Bandwagon Mysteries; instead it aired for an additional fourteen episodes in the summer of 1946.

Powell’s performance as Richard Rogue was similar to his take on Philip Marlowe (and it would be refined and perfected a few years later on Richard Diamond, Private Detective): tough, but glib, and more likely to come up with a quip than to squeeze off a round from his .38.

Aside from Powell’s unique delivery, the signature element of the show was the inclusion of Rogue’s impish alter ego, Eugor (that’s Rogue spelled backwards).  Each week, usually following a shot to the head, Rogue would lose consciousness and take an otherworldly trip to “Cloud Eight."  While there, he’d trade barbs with the cackling Eugor, and their conversations would usually shed light on a clue the gumshoe had overlooked during his investigation.  Though never credited on the show, Eugor was played by veteran radio character actor Peter Leeds. Leeds could be heard in supporting roles on Suspense, Nero Wolfe, Escape and others.  He was a member of the cast of Stan Freberg’s legendary 1957 CBS radio series, and he provided several voices for Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

Dick Powell left the role of Rogue after the 1946 series. Rogue’s Gallery returned the following year for a summer run starring Barry Sullivan, who would later pinch hit as The Saint when Vincent Price was unavailable to record. Following that brief run, Richard Rogue left the air for three years. The Fitch company fell upon hard times following a complaint from the Federal Trade Commission over the company’s claims that its shampoo could eradicate dandruff (those commercials from Dick Powell’s Rogue run are a hoot), and their sponsorship ended in 1947. 

In 1950, ABC resurrected the concept for a two-year run. Actor Paul Stewart, a veteran of Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre, played Rogue on ABC. Elsewhere on the network, Dick Powell was crooning as Richard Diamond. He was working right alongside one of his earlier characters - one who helped pave the way for his future radio success. Diamond may be the more famous Richard, but it was Rogue who put Powell on the path to a career as a radio crime-solver extraordinaire.

2022 AO3 Stats Breakdown

(evidence of a mental breakdown as well??? who’s to say lol)

Total Wordcount (approximate*): 265,182 across 37 fics in 3 fandoms

Most popular (by hits): The Sculptor (9,391)

Most popular (by kudos): Professor Lan, Babysitter Extraordinaire (1,244)

Least popular (by hits): Life Is Short, Do Art (186 - this is also probably my actual least popular by kudos at 41, Far From an Imposition is so new it’s not surprising it’s still at the bottom)

Least popular (by kudos): Far From An Imposition (30)

Highest word count: Soldier, Poet, King (78,690 words and still going)

Lowest word count: Lan Xichen’s Romance Novel Brainrot (1,141 words)

*For all of these figures I won’t be including ‘Plans To Make’ or ‘You Are Of Their Ilk’, as they’re both from 2021 originally and they skew the numbers a lot since I’ve added chapters to them in 2022. But I’m too lazy to figure out how many words I dumped into both of them, and there’s no telling when all the kudos and hits and stuff are from, so I won’t bother, all of these fics were completely posted in 2022 (though some new ones are now going to bleed into 2023).

Fic Breakdown

NON-CQL/MDZS - 3 fics in total:

A Flower Most Rare and Don’t Let Him Go Alone (both Wenzhou, for Word of Honor) together make up 7,875 words of my total count.

Home Was a Dream for Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty is 1,413 words of the total.

CQL/MDZS - 34 fics in total:

3Zun (and the various twosomes within it) account for 14 / 34 fics, 140,501 words, over half the total wordcount by 7,910 words (~53% of the total).

They are, in descending order of hits:

Soldier, Poet, King (3zun)

Sworn Protections (Nieyao)

The Last Piece of a Really Shitty Puzzle (3zun but Nieyao don’t like each other)

War Manners (Nieyao)

Pull No Punches (3zun)

Awkward and Uptight (3zun but focus is on Nieyao reconciling)

Looking For My Family (3zun)

Jaegers Are Not Meant For That (3zun)

Hope Is Home and the Heart Is Free (3zun)

Sticky Summer Kisses (Nielan)

Honey-Sweet and Heavy (3zun)

Starlight Within Will Guide (3zun at the end, mostly LXC-centric)

Restraint (Xiyao)

Far From An Imposition (Nieyao)

Wangxian fics account for 8 / 34 fics, 51,763 words, which is just shy of 20% of the total wordcount (roughly 19.5%, so not quite a fifth).

They are, in descending order of hits:

The Sculptor (Modern AU - 1970′s)

Professor Lan, Babysitter Extraordinaire (Modern AU)

Together, Or Not At All (Post-canon)

Hot House Husband Speedrun (Modern AU)

Yiling Laozu’s Moving Castle (Howl’s Moving Castle AU)

Feel You Feeling Me Feeling You Etc. Etc. (Post-canon)

Down the Gutter Here I Go (13 year gap)

Other Delights (Modern AU - late 1990′s or early 2000′s)

I had a surprising number of fics featuring various ships with Jiang Cheng in them, they account for 7 / 34 fics, 25,936 words, just shy of 10% (9.7%) of the total wordcount.

They are, in descending order of hits:

Lan Xichen’s Romance Novel Brainrot (Xicheng from LXC’s POV)

Thank You, and I’m Sorry (SangCheng from both POV’s, though the focus is Nie brother bonding/reconciliation after an argument and SangCheng have already been married for quite some time)

Indigo (ChengQing from both POV’s, but mostly WQ)

How Vicious You Are (ChengYao - lovers to enemies trope so it’s in the past)

Grannies Are To Be Feared (ChengQing from JC’s POV)

‘In-Law’ is a Two-Word Horror Story (SangCheng from both POV’s)

Research Is a Love Language (SangCheng from both POV’s but mostly JC’s)

There are a few fics that I wrote this year that aren’t very shippy at all, are a rarepair, or focus on the ensemble and various ships equally so they’re a bit harder to classify. Together they all account for the last 5 / 34 fics, 37,694 words, roughly 14% of the total wordcount.

They are, in descending order of hits:

Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center (Ensemble - Wangxian, Sangcheng, and Nielan are all hinted at but not established within the fic)

Technically a Cutsleeve? (Mo Xuanyu/Lan Jingyi set in my fix-it universe, specifically)

Objective Complete - Now What? (Ensemble - Wangxian, 3zun, and Chengqing are all present, as well as Lan Jingyi’s and Jin Guangshan’s POV’s)

Why Not Me? (Lan Qiren raising a young Lan Jingyi during the 13-year gap, so it focuses on family dynamics)

Life Is Short, Do Art (Lan Xichen-centric, very brief character study)

With all that said - what did I actually write?

Unconnected oneshots: 23*

Connected Oneshots: 9**

Chaptered fics: 5

* - ‘Looking For My Family’ is technically a standalone oneshot, but could very easily fit into the universe of my Modern 3zun Sunshot AU ‘All Dreams Were Worth Keeping’ as my characterizations/headcanons for how their relationship and family dynamics work doesn’t really differ from one to the other.

** - ‘Tales from Jianghu Shopping Center’ is technically a connected oneshot because it’s a oneshot that is the central work of my strip mall universe, but that makes it feel more like a chaptered fic to me because it’s the main work that all the rest of the shopping mall extras spoke out from like any of my other universes of extras born from my chaptered fics.

So -- big year for one-shots! I did a few different writing challenges/events this year, which was a lot of fun and something I’ve never done before. 18 / 23 of the unconnected one-shots were written for MXTX Reverse Trope Fest (10), Polyshipping Week 2022 (5), Fandom Trumps Hate (2), and the MDZS Mixtape Exchange (1). I think that might be why I feel like I didn’t write nearly as much as I did -- I did fairly quick little bite-sized fics for my own sake (except for where there were minimum wordcounts set for FTH) and they really add up all together but they didn’t feel like much as I was writing them, especially since most of what I did last year in comparison was so focused on my 3zun fix-it universe and the Modern Sunshot AU, both of which are nearly 200k word universes apiece.

This year I had really wanted to finish both Plans To Make and You Are Of Their Ilk, so I’m a bit sad that I didn’t manage to get them done before the end of the year. Both because they’re stories I definitely want to tell, but also because they’re my two most popular fics and I feel bad that they just also happen to be the two ongoing wips that I have that I update the least frequently lol. People are always so nice in the comments and stuff though and say that they’ll subscribe and wait patiently for whenever the inspiration hits me, which is lovely and reassuring. But still - over a thousand people are subscribed to both of them. The pressure is on 😂

Last, but not least:

What did I enjoy writing the most this year?

It’s a tie between two of them!

I really really loved the process of speed-writing The Sculptor in a hazy, frantic three days of pure inspiration, and then posting it daily over the course of a week and a half. I loved having something already completely finished to post on such a quick, dedicated schedul. Everyone was also super lovely in the comments both during and after posting, I got so much good community connection with people for whom the story really resonated, especially Queer people, which I absolutely adored. Particularly people who were thrilled to see representation for both lavender marriages and closeted lesbians in heterosexual marriages, which we tend to think of as outdated these days but there are absolutely still so many people in both types of relationships, whether by their own choice or for their own safety or what have you. So that one felt really special, plus I’m still just as in love with Ceru’s artwork that sparked the whole thing as I was when I started writing the fic. (Everyone say thank you @ceru-draws for the STUNNING artwork that inspired the fic, go reblog it and love on it if you haven’t already. Actually go love on all of their art, it’s all wonderful and they deserve it.)

And finally -- Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center, my beloved. It’s such a low-stakes, easygoing kind of universe to write that it genuinely relaxes me, and it makes me really happy when I get a new idea for an extra or something to add to it. I love using it as an excuse to wax poetic and romanticize about the mundane American nearly-rural suburbia I grew up with in the Deep South, and it’s been really fun to see how many other people resonate with it despite it being weirdly niche. It’s also been a fun exercise in building believable atmosphere/settings, since that’s mostly the goal and the (very minimal) plotline is very much secondary to the Vibes. I love me some Vibes (now everyone say thank you @lansplaining for the god-tier post that inspired that whole universe)

Thank you everybody for a really fun year of writing fic, here’s to even more in 2023 (I hope) ♥♥

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. — Chapter Seventeen of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @iimdestinyfreereally​.  And stayed tuned next week for Ch.18 from @happilyshanghaied​ ​ -tag, you’re it!

—————————————————————————————————— CHAPTER SEVENTEEN by @iimdestinyfreereally​

Veronica woke with a jump, disturbing her still-throbbing ankle and Logan’s snoring across the room. “Sorry.” She winced, easing herself off the loveseat as Logan roused slightly from sleep. “Just gonna head to the bathroom,” she whispered, and watched as he sleepily nodded his okay. Faint sunlight streamed through the window; Veronica guessed it was only a little after dawn. She’d slept like a rock for a few hours, but with a new day’s light came a return of last night’s problems. They were still trapped in murder country, with a rapidly-rising body count and any number of viable suspects. The cast of characters was growing as long as her arm, and she still couldn’t trust anyone but Wallace, Mac, and Logan. Dick was dropping off her suspect radar. Veronica tried not to underestimate anyone, but with the plot thickening rapidly and Dick just being thick… Veronica wasn’t sure she could picture him doing any of it, especially hurting Madison. She trusted him about as far as she could pick him up and throw him, but she wasn’t sure he had the motivation or stick-to-itveness to plan a complicated murder party weekend. Wallace, Mac, Logan, and tentatively Dick. Not a very long list of allies in a creepy old murder house, Veronica admitted to herself.

With a long look at Wallace and Logan, both propped up and sleeping uncomfortably in the vintage chairs, she tried to hobble quietly down the hall to one of the main bathrooms. 

Creepy old murder house, she sighed into the silence of the hall, watching the eyes of a grey-faced statue as she walked by. It didn’t watch back, but she maintained it was creepy. Veronica hoped the others had been true to their word about keeping two people up for watch duty at all times, but she knew they were all probably just as exhausted as she’d been. Carefully locking the bathroom door behind her, she smiled, relieved, at the pile of fresh towels in the basket and shook her head. Remember when this was just a fun little vacation? A weekend getaway with a game-y escape room schtick? Even outside of Neptune none of them could escape the shadow of murder and mystery, as hard as they tried. With a creaky twist, the faucet gave way to cool water, and Veronica let her mind relax a touch as she rinsed last night’s grime away, then pressed her face into the clean towel. Nothing about the weekend so far had been fun or relaxing, from the weather right on down to the murder victims; it had all been pretty tragic. Seeing Logan always had its perks, and she missed him more than she’d even realized. Even snowed-in-with-murderers was cozier with Logan. That had to be some kind of superpower. But with no way off the island, and no way to phone the authorities, Veronica didn’t want to wait for more bodies before taking action. This killer always felt a step ahead of her, leaving a bloodtrail leading her down a dark hallway with another fun surprise at the end of it all. She was starting to hate surprises. Thinking again about the sunken boats, she chewed her lip and fussed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. The murderer had meant to strand the teens by sinking the boats, but that just meant the murderer had to have their own way off the island. There had to be some back door out of the death trap, and Veronica found a little hope in that realization. Mentally, she started organizing a list of next steps. First, she needed to see if Mac was okay, and if she remembered anything else about her attacker. Her description of a tiny blonde Lilly Kane didn’t make sense to Veronica, but she didn’t doubt Mac’s eyesight. Just her blow to the head, she admitted. Veronica knew that meant she had to question Duncan too, an idea which brought on more than a little discomfort. Putting him out of her mind had been easy the past few years, but seeing him still felt complicated. She was glad he wasn’t dead; part of her felt relief, but confronting him about his role in both the fake murders and the real ones was going to be unpleasant. Where was the tiny Lilly Kane, and what role did she play in all this? Veronica only hoped Duncan would be more forthcoming during this mystery than he’d been during their past ones. Although it would be impossible for him to help less, Veronica reminded herself. Her mind kept going back to the long list of suspects, and the ever-growing list of victims. Madison Sinclair? It hadn’t been all that long since Veronica had wished her dead, or at least wished her a terrible perm, but seeing her actually dead? Dressed as a maid? The dots were hard to connect, even for Veronica Mars, super-sleuth extraordinaire and card-carrying private eye. None of this was random, it all felt planned. Methodically calculated. Definitely the hard route to mass murder. Veronica gave herself the chills by accident with the morbid thought. Giving herself a final dust-off in the mirror, she felt a little lighter leaving the bathroom and limping back down the hall to the library. With a playful wave and obscene gesture at the greyscale statue on her way, Veronica dared herself to not be afraid of this place. Smiling at Logan and Wallace still snoring, she contemplated lying back down and getting a few more hours of sleep. But after reaching for the blanket on the loveseat, the light feeling in her chest sank, rapidly. A small, white envelope rested atop the blankets where she’d been sleeping just a little while ago; it was addressed to Enid Curtis in fancy, curliqued writing. Veronica checked over her shoulder and around the room; whoever had left her the note was gone, so she tore into it, dread swelling in her chest. Did you sleep well? Soon you’ll be at your final rest, unless you win the game I came to play.  Will you bet your life on it? Will you bet Mason’s?                           -Mistress X Resisting the urge to crumple the note in her palm, Veronica sighed and reread it to herself a few times. The fake murder mystery was over, wasn’t it? So now real murder was supposed to be a game? Couldn’t Mistress X just clean up at poker like everyone else with a healthy competitive streak? But Veronica held the answer in her hands; danger written in plain ink, on plain paper. The thought of losing Logan, or Wallace, or Mac froze Veronica’s mind. Maybe there wasn’t time for a full investigation, with ample interrogations, and tracking of timelines, and crossing off suspects from a list. Maybe Veronica only had time to get the people she cared about out of the house and off the island. It was still snowing heavily outside, as if to emphasize the point they were still stuck. Stranded. Trapped. “Guys.” Veronica plopped herself back into the loveseat to give her ankle a break. Eyeing the room around her, she realized Mistress X might still be watching, might still be playing. “Guys.” She tried again, waking Logan and then Wallace, eliciting grumbles from both of them. “I found another clue, this one personally addressed and hand-delivered.” She brandished the letter, and Logan was first awake enough to read the note. Pressing a small, good morning kiss to the corner of her mouth, Logan’s face fell after reading the note. “Nope, nope, no thank you.” Wallace shook his head, stretching. “I’m gonna need at least two seconds to wake up before I deal with any psycho murderers, or new creepy-ass clues. Two seconds.” He stretched wide, huffing a sigh as he noticed Logan staring wide-eyed at the letter. “Well? Doesn’t really look like a ticket home.” He plucked the note from Logan’s hand, and Veronica lifted her brows in question when Wallace handed the note back to her. “Mistress X is extra getting on my nerves.” She ran her fingers over the letter. It all felt so personal, somehow, and Veronica felt herself a little shaken by that. She’d faced evil before, at least she’d suspected it’s presence in Aaron Echolls; but this felt almost like they were being hunted, or taunted. They were being played with, and that drove her crazy. “It’s just a threat.” Logan smoothed his hand over Veronica’s shoulder, eyeing the bruising on her ankle. Even in crisis, Veronica knew he wanted to reassure her, protect her, any way he could. Epic. She shook her head, but she wasn’t easily reassured. “Someone was in here while you guys were sleeping.” Veronica fought a shudder, leaning into Logan’s touch. “I could’ve just missed them in the hall. We can’t give them that chance again,” she decided. “We need to get everyone together, and figure this Mistress X out. I think we’re being watched, maybe even now.” Veronica didn’t buy that luck and good timing were responsible for the letter being left while she was in the bathroom. “There you guys are,” Dick cut in, leaning into the library. “Jeez, what’d you guys see a ghost or something?” He looked between the three of them, a scared expression creeping across his face as if maybe they really had. “Anyway, doesn’t matter, come on, you guys gotta see this.” He started back down the hall. “Is Mac okay?” Veronica leaned on Logan, after jumping up too fast for her injured ankle. Steadied, she silently smiled to erase the look of concern from his face, and fit her hand into his. Tucking the note from Mistress X in her back pocket, Veronica debated just how much she should share with the entire group. “The Mac Attack is fine, she just needed a little TLC, if you get what I mean.” Dick waggled his eyebrows over his shoulder at Logan. “You mean you gave her some band-aids, Neosporin, and Tylenol?” Veronica’s tone warned Dick about all kinds of negative-type consequences for him if he had anything else to say. She could always take him off her ally list. Frowning, Dick shook his head; Veronica Mars was a party-pooper, it was one of her biggest character flaws in his eyes. He resumed leading them down to the servants’ quarters, then remembered something. “Actually, we’re out of Neosporin, but anyway, you gotta see what the Mackster found,” Dick said, gesturing them into the room, and making a flourishing gesture in Mac’s direction. “Bond, I gotta tell ya, I think we might be in a little trouble here.” Mac was frowning at her computer screen. “And don’t call me the Mackster.” She grimaced at Dick. Logan and Veronica shared a look between them, steadying each other. The bodies piling up had actually given her some indication they were in a sticky situation, but Mac’s face was pale and scared. Maybe things were somehow worse than murder, death threats, fake names, and high stakes. Maybe Veronica had been lucky so far to only have been pushed off one balcony. “When you say might…” Wallace scowled, as if he had all kinds of bad feelings about Mac’s frown. “Nothing we haven’t survived before, right? Whatcha got, Q?” Veronica hobbled to the seat next to Mac, bracing herself for another curve ball.

Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 1)

BRIGHT: Before Act 3 proper starts, we see a message from Nanna to John, written in the front of the Sassacre’s joke book from Dad’s safe. The message is somewhat bizarre. For one thing, according to Nanna, the book it’s written in will end its journey on the day she dies...and still carry on for a while. For another, it talks about game elements we’ve encountered already, and hints at more to come. Overall it’s a nice bit of detail, enough to whet the reader’s interest.

You are no doubt reading this as a handsome and strapping young man! Why, the mangrit needed to lift the book is itself a sign of your maturity, not even to speak of the wisdom needed to grasp the nuance of Sassacre's time-tested mischief. I am so proud of you, grandson! How I wish I could have delivered this heirloom to you in the flesh. But I am afraid it wasn't in the cards! For you see, John, like you, this book must yet take a journey! Its journey will end on the Final Day of my life, and even then will continue some. Though I suppose that will be up to your Father. Perhaps he will discuss it with you one day, when he and you are ready. But it is your journey I am writing about to wish you luck! There will come a day when you will be thrust into another world. And once you arrive, that is only the beginning! You will soon delve even deeper into a realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse. A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend. John, if only you knew how important you were! I regret my passing came so early in your life. And yet I feel in my heart we have already met. But what I know for sure is that we will meet again! Until then, John, I do hope your Father keeps you well fed!

FAILURE ARTIST: As I said earlier, Hussie has artfully defaced books, including one antique one about an expedition around the world. Defaced books show up again in this comic.

CHEL: Particularly, it implies that Nanna also had knowledge of the game during her lifetime, somehow, and refers to the gathering of four heroes. This is our first introduction to the classpect system, which now rivals Hogwarts houses as a method of personality description in fandom at large. I think at the time I didn’t realise who it was referring to… Anyway.

Next, we officially meet GG, the fourth and final member of our gang, a “silly girl” with a cheery grin, sleeping in a greenhouse full of vegetables and spirograph-shaped flowers. Since she’s sleeping and can’t object, she’s referred to for a while as FARMSTINK BUTTLASS, but she’s way ahead of us; under her hand is a note admonishing the reader and declaring her actual name to be Jade Harley. I think she’s the cutest of the kids, myself - just seeing her first appearance makes me happy! All its weaknesses aside, Homestuck’s pretty great at creating painfully cute character designs and attaching a good range of personalities to them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade Harley was considered a “Mary Sue” when she was first introduced. I don’t know why. Yeah, she has a lot of eccentricities and unusual possessions but so do the other characters.

Farmstink is a reference to an old comic Hussie did about this dude obsessed with the stink of farms. Hussie’s early work is really weird.

CHEL: The reader attempts to wake Jade by dropping a pumpkin carved with an animal’s face on her head, but the pumpkin disappears; as we know, WV now has it. Fortunately for the pacing, Jade wakes up on her own. Look closely, and you’ll notice the symbol on her shirt changes each page; that turns out a bit later to be due to her hi-tech WARDROBIFIER. If I recall correctly, Hussie intended to settle on one chosen by reader vote, but ended up on a cycle of three different ones.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade settles on three icons to appear on her shirt. However, eventually just one icon stays on her shirt. The WARDROBIFIER doesn’t get much use with her, though a later character has the same thing.

CHEL: Jade is also wearing COLORFUL REMINDERS on her fingers, and when the view pans out it’s revealed by the view from the window that her GARDEN ATRIUM is on a high floor. She plays the flute badly for a while in a Flash game; apparently it’s not her preferred instrument. Also fortunately for the pacing, we think, she knows how to use her sylladex, and prefers to set its retrieval function in the form of a memory game because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try! On checking her reminders, she remembers to wish John happy birthday, gathers some fruit, and heads upstairs by means of a teleporter.

Jade’s bedroom proves to be full of various disturbing-looking plushies, albeit not nearly as disturbing as the Smuppets, hanging baskets and potted plants, a bass guitar, and G-rated furry artwork, including a piece obviously drawn by Dave. Franchises depicted in her toy and poster collections include GREEN SLIME GHOST (the apparent copyright-friendly source of John’s T-shirt and pogo ride), MANTHRO CHAPS (mustachioed human faces on plush animal bodies), and SQUIDDLES (adorable octopi with magnets in their bellies which stick together as Tangle Buddies!). Her favoured weapons are rifles, though she would never shoot an animal, and she has various gadgets on a worktable, including a thing that looks like a disconnected window not unlike those shown in Rose’s book, which she apparently hasn’t been able to get to work.

FAILURE ARTIST: Manthro Chaps is a reference to Hussie’s particularly disturbing set of comics where he plays around with anthropomorphization. Like having an anthro chicken man lay anthro eggs.

CHEL: The comic in question, Humanimals, can be found here; warnings for extreme body horror and general grossness.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade is told by a forum prompter to Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again. Jade refuses to in a beautiful little speech but she denies she’s a furry. Oh, if she only knew what was coming for her.

Jade looks out the window and we find out she lives somewhere next to a volcano.

CHEL: The very same one which appeared in the animation at the end of the last act, in fact.

Your grandfather is a WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE. He has taught you everything you know.

Grandpa is heavily coded here and in his appearance a bit later as a Great White Hunter, an upper-class European guy who goes to faraway countries in order to shoot the animals there. Of course, non-white people can certainly do that, but white is what people will immediately picture upon seeing the trope. Also note we have another ridiculously wealthy family here. Since all four of the kids have now been introduced and we’ve had a lot of WSP points from their races and financial statuses already, here we get another HOW NOT TO point as well.

The Country Club Here every single character is white and middle-to-upper class. Unless your novel is taking place in rural Sweden, this will eventually give the reader the eerie feeling that some form of ethnic cleansing has taken place. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 7

One could argue that some form of ethnic cleansing is taking place, since these are the kids who are surviving the apocalypse, though that’s not actually fair because there are plenty of other SBurb sessions all across the world which might also succeed.

Jade opens her GADGET CHEST and produces several more items pertaining to her interests, including her computer, which she keeps in a Squiddles lunchbox. Several fortune-telling items are included among them, but according to Jade they are not the source of her abilities. The Magic 8-Ball is apparently usually wrong, responding to being asked whether it’s John’s birthday today with NOT EXACTLY, and the Magic Cue Ball is supposedly always right but is impossible to read, making it completely useless.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s another Problem Sleuth reference (or rather Problem Sooth) but what’s important is the Magic Cue Ball. Unlike her Magic 8-Ball, it has no window where one can read the prediction. If only Jade had a special vision. Perhaps an eightfold vision.

Jade goes to feed BEC. She has some sylladex trouble until she finally just takes a steak out of her fridge.

CHEL: Once again, the sylladex shenanigans waste several pages.

GET ON WITH IT!: 9

Bec’s identity is as yet unknown, but recall that Dave called him a “devilbeast” in an earlier conversation, and when he suggested shooting Bec Jade said she didn’t think she could if she tried. He also apparently eats nothing but steaks (lucky Grandpa’s a billionaire), so Jade is living on an island with apparently minimal supervision from her guardian and an allegedly dangerous carnivore running wild outside. Like Dave, at this point it seems to be very lucky she’s a cartoon character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Using a special oven she irradiates the steak. Umm, I think Bec can take that but I worry about Jade.

Jade finds and plays her elaborate bass and she’s much better at it than with the flute. During the flash, the camera pulls out and we find out where she lives: in a tower on a small volcanic island with a frog temple in the lagoon. An airplane goes by and drops a package.

Jade uses her super high-tech “lunchtop” to have a conversation with John. Nothing special about that but we see on her chumroll a bunch of unfamiliar handles. Hmm.

CHEL: The unfamiliar handles are listed in the “Trollslum”, which one presumes is a blocklist. I think you have to see just how hi-tech the lunchtop is:

"Jade: Get down to business." (Watch on YouTube)

Hussie’s really coming into his own with the animations by now.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has sent her some messages begging her to wake up and unfortunately one line has the f-slur in it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 7

In the end, he decides she’ll probably forget what he says.

CHEL: Begging her to wake up” doesn’t exactly cover it.

TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything

Apparently Jade sometimes talks to him while she’s sleeping.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a little flash where you can listen to some of Dave’s tunes. When you’re done with that, you can join her in looking at mspadventures.com. A crude John wearing a wizard hat is sitting on his lawn with the caption

It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

What the hell is going on here? Is Jade reading what John is doing right now?

CHEL: I think it’s just a fourth wall joke, but it’s certainly accurate, considering our GET ON WITH IT count.

FAILURE ARTIST: Next, we get this flash called Midnight Crew: Act 1031. If you are watching it in 2019, the song playing is Dead Shuffle by Mark Hadley. However, the song was originally Nightlife by Bill Bolin. Unfortunately, Bolin had a dispute with Hussie over Hussie using music that Bolin considered WIP. Bolin blew up and called Hussie “unprofessional” and in a very professional move posted a photo of himself giving the double deuce. It’s a shame this happened since Nightlife is a jauntier and more appropriate tune.

CHEL: The Midnight Crew, to be specific, are gangsters with card-themed names who bear a striking resemblance to WV, living in a mysterious purple city full of towers, pitted against the Felt, another gang of odd-looking green fellows who wear bowler hats with numbers on them, in the colour schemes of a set of pool balls.

Hussie did make reference in the previous page to a “weird tangential intermission [which] clearly advanced the plot in no way whatsoever”, implying that it actually is relevant, and the purple city and its shiny black beady-eyed inhabitants look very familiar, but since as far as we know at this point the Midnight Crew is just a comic-within-a-comic, you know which counts get added to.

GET ON WITH IT!: 10 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2

Just for the record, the leader of the gang is named Spades Slick, and yes, we’re aware that “spade” is a slur against black people, which makes it slightly unfortunate to be applied as a name to a black-shelled alien creature. However, we’re not counting that as PROBLEMATYKKS because Hussie and the Crew’s original writer certainly did not intend that. It’s not that commonly used a term from what I’ve seen, the playing cards would be the more likely immediate association, and with the other characters being Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Diamonds Droog, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. If he was a black human, then I’d object more strenuously.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade talks with Dave (I think the conversation is a repeat?)

CHEL: Yep.

GET ON WITH IT!: 11

FAILURE ARTIST: Finally, we get the flash we’ve been waiting for: Dave strifes with his mysterious guardian. Or rather, he strifes with Lil Cal while Bro is a speed blur.

BRIGHT: Unlike the other strifes up to this point, the reader can’t do anything other than watch, because Bro slices the command box in half right at the start.

TIER: In the world of Homestuck, the parental units are overall just really weird! Like dad Egbert severe overabundance of cakes and mom Lalonde's drunken dysfunction. It's overall all hilarious, fitting with the tone and humor of the story well!

But then we have our lovely outlier. The one, the hated, The. Bro “a huge bastard honestly” Strider! A.K.A basically the one guardian whose questionable parenting gets the Real Consequences treatment later on in this tale. Peculiar that.

CHEL: Now, under most circumstances, an adult man beating the hell out of a barely-teenage kid, on the precarious rooftop of a high-rise building no less, would be horrifying. However, Bro chooses to hit Dave with his puppet, which… is frankly hard to take seriously. Obviously it would still hurt if a real person did that, but it looks so stupid that the immediate assumption is that it’s a joke.

BRIGHT: Particularly when earlier strife moves like Rose’s ‘Empty Suicide Threat’ were intended to be humorous. This is about on the same level as that, in terms of severity!

TIER: Being smacked around by the flopping noodle limbs of a freaky puppet is honestly hard to take seriously. Hell, this entire sequence is chock full of outlandish “Rule of Cool” bullshit and I am Peeved that I was apparently supposed to look at this sequence of ridiculous events and go “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE”.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 7

CHEL: I could kinda see that with hindsight from the rest of the comic, but definitely not “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A LOT MORE FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE THAN THE OTHER AWFUL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES”, which is what was apparently intended. And we also get another HOW NOT TO point, which we’ll give now even though the official “reveal” comes much later.

A Novel Called It - wherein an abusive parent exists Bad parents are everywhere in unpublished fiction. Whole cities of abusive fathers and sneering mothers live in the pages of books that can’t be sold. While occasionally, and notably in the horror genre, this sort of material can be made good (Carrie, V. C. Andrews), most cruel parents in fiction are just as much fun as they are in real life. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14

That damn puppet gets creepier every time, admittedly, more so now that Bro is moving so fast that the thing appears to be dancing on Dave’s head under its own power. Dave’s expressions look more annoyed than afraid or hurt, however, in my opinion.

FAILURE ARTIST: Anyway, we go back to Jade. Rose is pestering her.

TT: I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. TT: Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?

Very business-like, isn’t it? Rose and Jade’s relationship is a big missed opportunity in this comic. They’re more like friends-of-friends than friends.

CHEL: I don’t know, that sounds to me like how Rose talks to the boys too; facetiously formal. Still, they don’t converse nearly as much as the boys do with each other or them. Male writers in particular tend to do this, and it’s not entirely their faults. People are socialised to think women talk a lot more than they do, so he probably didn’t notice.

TIER: A real shame honestly, we were fucking robbed of some peak interactions between a sunshine flower child and a “dark and brooding” baby goth. Fucking. Robbed.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out that Jade was the one who had the idea of playing Sburb. She had told Rose that the game would answer some of Rose’s unnamed questions. Rose wants more information on this Big Day. Jade says the game will not be what Rose thinks it is and will answer questions Rose hasn’t thought of yet. On that mysterious note, Jade says goodbye.

CHEL: We check in briefly with Rose in the present, confirming that she’s found the secret passage and is escaping the fire, bringing the corpse of her cat along with her, then to John, who is doing much worse. The ogres (the giant tusked imps) have cornered him, and while he flails frantically about with his Pogo Hammer it doesn’t do much good. They beat the snot out of him with the old Sassacre book and the tire swing, then send him flying into the abyss; fortunately, Nannasprite is able to catch him on his bed and provide healing, allowing him to flail uselessly at the ogres again and get beaten up again, ad infinitum.

Back in the desert, a giant worm-like creature emerges from PM’s bunker and chows down on the cart full of mailboxes. PM is displeased, and puts a hand on the hilt of an ornate black sword.

Cut back to the FAQ, which John has found time to edit with information about the punch card system. He doesn’t know if anyone is left alive to play the game, but Rose asked him to add to it, so he will. He’s figured out with his 133t h4x0r 5k1llz that the captcha code on the back of the cards is converted into a binary-based pattern on the cards, 0 being blank and 1 being a punched hole. Overlapping the cards functions like a bitwise AND operation, causing both to be enacted. The 48-hole card system allows for 300 trillion combinations, but John lampshades the fact that this couldn’t possibly cover every conceivable captchable item, and that various combinations of overlapping cards would just produce the same combination. This is just adding to my conviction that the system ought to be reworked; the totems alone would probably allow for a much wider range, if one gets down to the atomic level of their shape. Then again, those would be a lot harder to merge… Still, I’m sure there’s some way to work it.

BRIGHT: This section was kind of surprising to me because up to this point we haven’t had much if any description of John being into coding, so the section came out of left field somewhat. Not bad, necessarily, just jarring.

CHEL: Actually, he did mention in his intro that he likes to program, albeit not very well, he had some coding books on his shelves, and the icons on his computer are named in a way which implies they’re some of his attempts at coding. However, this interest never really comes up again later that I remember.

Meanwhile, the secret passage Rose followed led to her mother’s laboratory, which bears the logo “SN” with a stylised atom and a spirograph pattern in the loops of the S. It seems Mom Lalonde knows more than she’s letting on about the game. Inside the laboratory is an enormous HUBGRID of devices into which the laptop can be plugged.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose uses that ol’ r-slur when she says she won’t go on the pad so that’s another point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 8

CHEL: Jade uses the TRANSPORTALIZER to travel most of the way down to the ground floor, but not all the way down because the one on that floor is blocked. As she walks down the last couple of flights of stairs, we see Grandpa’s own collections of stuff; taxidermised animal heads, suits of armour, mummified corpses (made by pasting in photographs to the cartoon background, it’s creepy as hell), and his BLUE BEAUTIES, or the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA; sun-bleached portrait photographs of beautiful women. On the final floor, we are confronted with the thing blocking the final portal; a gigantic preserved monster with a white head and green serpentine body. It took me till just now to figure it out but I think the white part is supposed to be a human torso on the snake tail; at first it just looked like a snake wearing a stocking mask. That’s what happens when the humans don’t have arms.

Jade thought she had logged off from Pesterchum, but suddenly it pings again, and here we are introduced to an entirely new section of the cast. We’re probably not spoiling anything by not being mysterious about them at this point in the fandom’s history, but just in case, we’ll stick to doing the reveals when the comic does. The person talking to Jade is one of the names from her TROLLSLUM, under the handle carcinoGeneticist; they gloat about being “BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU, FOREVER” when asked how they’re still contacting Jade after being blocked, and mock her about today being “FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP”. Angry, Jade blocks them again.

FAILURE ARTIST: I had forgotten that “they” appeared so early.

CHEL: Well, “appear” is stretching it; the TROLLSLUM only make contact through Pesterchum for a while yet. And when they show up, we’ll have both plenty of skilfully-written points to pick out and plenty of counts to apply.

2024 Reading Challenges I Will Be Participating In

I am late with this post this year, I apologize for that. I am participating in the same challenges I did last year. With my review commitments and the books touring with Great Escapes Book Tours, I just can't sign up for as many as I used to. If you are looking for Reading Challenges, there are so many to choose from, spanning all genres and interests. Sleep Less, Read More - Reading Challenges, Events and more! on Facebook has a great list. I am still getting my 2024 Reading Challenges Page set up but that is where I will keep track of my challenges. I will be participating in the GoodReads Challenge but the widget for that has not been posted yet. I will also be setting some goals on Storygraph. 

2024 Alphabet Soup Reading Challenge Sponsored by Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book. You can find details and SIGN UP HERE.

2024 Alphabet Soup – Author Edition Reading Challenge Sponsored by Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book. You can find details and SIGN UP HERE.

2024 Craving For Cozies Reading Challenge Sponsored by Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book I am participating at the Ravenous Level – 101 – 125 Cozy Mysteries You can find the details and SIGN UP HERE.

Cruisin' thru the Cozies Reading Challenge 2024 Sponsored by Socrates Book Reviews I am signing up at Level four (Sleuth Extraordinaire) - A)Read 40 cozy mysteries of your choice. B)Read two books from each sub-genre in level one plus an additional 20 cozy books of your choice (total of 40 books) You can find details and SIGN UP HERE.

2024 LITERARY ESCAPES CHALLENGE Sponsored by Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book. You can find details and SIGN UP HERE.

Cloak and Dagger Reading Challenge Sponsored by Carol's Notebook I am signing up at the Inspector Level - 26-35 books You can find the details and Sign Up Here.

2024 Netgalley and Edelweiss Reading Challenge Sponsored by Socrates Book Reviews I will be participating at the Silver – 25 Books Level. You can find the details and SIGN UP HERE.

What An Animal Reading Challenge 2024 Sponsored by Socrates Book Reviews I am signing up at Level 3 - Read 13-20 Books You can find the details and SIGN UP HERE.

2024 Mount TBR Reading Challenge Sponsored by My Reader's Block I will be participating at the Mt. Vancouver: Read 36 books level. You can find details and Sign Up Here.

2024 FINISHING THE SERIES READING CHALLENGE Sponsored by Celebrity Authors. I am signing up at the B-LIST SERIES FINISHER ⇒ COMPLETE 5-8 SERIES. You can Find Details and SIGN UP HERE.

PERSONAL CHALLENGES

Read Books By Authors from your Home State or Books Set in your Home State. My Goal is 10 Books.

Pages Read My goal is 48,000 Pages for 2023. And finally

Sponsored by Reading Challenge Addict You can find details and SIGN UP HERE. Challenges and goals can make reading fun and get us to reach out beyond our usual reads. I hope you will give 1 or more a try.

Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent Read the full article

A Death at Seascape House by Emma Jameson (A Jemima Jago Mystery #1)

My Review (4*) It's a good start for a new cozy series even if it's not one of those book that makes you fall in love with the characters or the plot since the first pages. It took a bit to warm up to Jem and be hooked by the plot as I found her a bit too wimpy for my tastes and the plot a bit slow. But Jem is a character that slowly grows on you and I couldn't put it down as soon as secrets started to revealed. That said I think the author delivered an entertaining and enjoyable story with a cast of interesting and fleshed out characters and a solid mystery. I appreciated how the author developed a cast of characters with a story and who had to face a lot of issues as this makes them more realistic and relatable. The descriptions of the places are great and I loved when it describes the library and the wonderful places. The love triangle is one of main pet peeves in cozy mysteries so I hope it will be solved soon. I think there's a lot of potential and this could become a favorite cozy series as I love story that involves librarian. This book is recommended and I hope to read a new installment soon. Many thanks to Bookouture and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine Book Description: With its sweeping sandy beaches and rolling emerald hills, the island of St. Morwenna is an idyllic escape. But behind the perfectly pruned primroses and neighborly smiles a killer lies in wait…



When librarian Jemima Jago is offered the opportunity to catalogue Cornwall’s largest collection of antique shipwreck records it is a dream come true. The only problem? The collection is housed on the island of St. Morwenna, the childhood home she left years ago and vowed never to return to.
Shortly after Jem arrives back in town, island busybody and notorious grump Edith Reddy is found dead, with duct tape clamped over her mouth and nose. Jem, caught seemingly red-handed at the scene of the crime, mistakenly becomes the police’s number one suspect. The handsome Sergeant Hackman in particular can’t seem to leave Jem alone…
Jem must take matters into her own hands if she wants to clear her name. Snooping around Edith’s once-grand home, she is struck by the mess before her. The bedroom is completely ransacked and in the living room all the photographs have been removed from their frames. Was Edith’s death simply a break-in gone wrong, or is there more to the mystery that the police are missing?
Jem has a sharp eye for a clue and she soon realizes that many of the island’s eccentric residents had reason for wanting Edith out of the way. Could Declan, the curious café owner, or Bart, the fishy ferryman have killed Edith? Jem won’t rest until she uncovers the truth, but doing so will put her right in the killer’s line of sight…


Buy Link https://geni.us/B08WLVLD9Nsocial

The Author: 
Emma Jameson is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Lord & Lady Hetheridge cozy mystery series. Book #1, ICE BLUE, Book #2, BLUE MURDER, Book #3, SOMETHING BLUE, Book #4, BLACK & BLUE, Book #5, BLUE BLOODED, and Book #6, BLUE CHRISTMAS are available now.
Her newest venture with digital publisher extraordinaire BOOKOUTURE is the Jem Jago cozy mystery series. 
Ms. Jameson is also the creator of amateur sleuth Dr. Benjamin Bones. Set in Cornwall during the Second World War, book #1 is MARRIAGE CAN BE MURDER; book #2 is DIVORCE CAN BE DEADLY. Dr. Bones fans will also want to read the companion series, Magic of Cornwall. This includes DR. BONES AND THE CHRISTMAS WISH and DR. BONES AND THE LOST LOVE LETTER, two charming novellas set in untamed, romantic Cornwall Social Media Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emmajamesonbooks   Twitter: https://twitter.com/msemmajameson

In here, too.

Post-2x12 extended moment.

Summary: The Jones trailer was a document of their story - of their love, their wounds and their scars. Tonight, they were writing a new chapter.

“Betty’s limbs were imbued with a will of their own, and though she was slowed by the headiness of the moment, she had never felt more sure of herself, or of what she was doing.

He wanted her. Needed her.

And she was going to give it all to him.”

Author’s notes: My first smutty fic, so please be kind! Thank you to the incredible @jandjsalmon and @theatreofexpression for all your help, encouragement and support as I wrote this, and to @aunt-imogene for the gorgeous gif.

Read below the cut, or here on my Ao3.

The Jones trailer was dotted with remnants of their history.

From where she sat, Betty had a clear view of everything. The spot in the living room where he first told her that he loved her. The kitchen counter where he had lifted her roughly, his mouth hot and searching on hers, overcome with passion. The door he creaked open to an ominous crowd of Serpents, who handed him his own jacket. The couch where they had fallen asleep the night they were investigating the Black Hood.

And where they sat now, silently watching TV.

What chapter of our history is this supposed to be? Betty pondered the question as she glanced at him tentatively. They were seated away from each other, their bodies not even touching, yet painfully, the closest they’d been in weeks. Her shoes were off and his beanie was lying flat on the space next to him - small items of clothing discarded casually, as though they were learning to be exposed and unguarded around each other all over again.  

The last 24 hours had been a blur. By some twist of fate, they had fallen into the old rhythms of Betty and Jughead, Sleuthing Duo Extraordinaire, all over again. It felt familiar. It felt right.

But there was something else there - something aching and tender that lingered beneath the dynamic energy that came from bouncing ideas off each other and pursuing leads. To Betty’s surprise, Jughead had broached the subject of their relationship and had been open and vulnerable, apologising to her and owning up to so much - his regret over their breakup, his misdemeanours with Toni, his brief time as a drug mule, and his mutilation of Penny Peabody.

He was laying it all out for her, exposing himself willingly after weeks of shutting himself away from her.

And she was overwhelmed.

What does this mean for us? She looked over to him, fought the urge to reach out and touch his face. Is there still an ‘us’ to be salvaged from the wreck?

Jughead turned the television off. “Good old Hiram Lodge,” he muttered. “I wonder what he’s planning for us. On the Southside.”

She contemplated the question silently. “Maybe we can ask Veronica on Monday.” Oh god, Veronica. Betty winced at the thought of her best friend being drawn into this mess. How does she fit into all this? For the most part, she may have been reeling from the suddenness of being thrust back into Jughead’s sphere again, but still, she couldn’t help but wonder about what would become of them - Veronica, Archie, Jughead, herself. Even Josie and Cheryl. The children of Riverdale. The victims of their parents’ histories.

“Yeah.” Jughead sighed. “Maybe we should just investigate quietly, until we know more.”

Betty nodded, acquiescing.

“We haven’t saved the trailer park yet. And I’m on probation from the Serpents, whatever that means. Because of what I did to Penny.”

What I did to Penny. The thought of it still unsettled her. He hadn’t gone into detail, but Betty knew him enough not to feel angry or incensed - instead, she could only feel unbearable sadness at the desperation he must have been driven to, to feel as though he had no other option than to do what he did.

“But we stopped her from coming back,” Jughead conceded. “ And we got rid of Tall Boy.”

“ We. ” She couldn’t help it. Her face broke out into an involuntary smile. “It’s just nice to hear that again.” And it was. After the many lonely nights that followed their breakup, the dark days of the Black Hood, the emotional rollercoaster of finding her brother and being led into the sordid, clandestine world he inhabited, sitting here with Jughead felt… good. Stable.

He turned to her. “ Look, I’ll be apologising for it for the rest of my life, but I’m sorry. I am.” Betty looked up at him, and saw that his eyes were filled with remorse. “For feeling like I needed to shield you from what I was going through with the Serpents, or… my darkness.” He scoffed at that last word, seeming to cringe at the cliche, but finding nothing better to describe the bleakness of his world without her.

“I can handle it.” And I want to, she added silently.

“I know,” he responded, as if reading her thoughts. “I know you can.”

Betty exhaled. The weight of his words stirred something in her, and suddenly the door she had worked so hard to close since their breakup flew wide open, inviting her to walk through again. And though every part of her longed to do just that, she felt tentative and scared. There was still so much that she needed to tell him. So much that she feared to divulge.

She sighed, her yearning overcome by common sense. “I should probably…” she broke off. You should stay. You should stay. You should stay. “…start heading home.”

The fragile bubble of their moment deflated. But what else was she supposed to do? This had to be enough for her, for now - the simple hope that they weren’t done yet. She needed to leave on that note, because she wanted to fall asleep tonight with that hope tucked away into her heart.

“Or you could stay,” he said, in a half-whisper.

Oh.

Betty stared straight ahead, alarmed by the sudden turn of events and afraid that if she so much as breathed in his direction, she’d betray just how desperately she needed to hear him say that - a direct reversal of their ill-fated conversation in front of the Whyte Wyrm, when he told her to go home. This was anything but that. He was inviting her into his home, into himself. No more pushing each other away.

I guess it didn’t stick, after all.

She exhaled slowly, releasing a breath that had been constricting her chest. She still couldn’t bear to look at him, not now when every part of her - body, heart, mind and soul - was clicking into place as it pointed her to one inevitable conclusion.

“Stay,” he repeated.

His fingers grazed the edge of her dress, a wordless request for her consent. His eyes were fixed on her, all but begging. His mouth hung open, parted as it lingered on the remnants of that single word. Stay.

Betty’s limbs were imbued with a will of their own, and though she was slowed by the headiness of the moment, she had never felt more sure of herself, or of what she was doing.

He wanted her. Needed her.

And she was going to give it all to him.

…

Betty’s heart was clamorous in her chest as their lips met for the first time in what felt like an eternity. She felt curious rather than shocked at the sight of herself climbing up to straddle his lap and pin him against the couch. How did her body even know how to do such things? Then she remembered who she was kissing, remembered that his touch incinerated her unlike anything or anyone she had ever known, and she knew that the answer to that question was tied up entirely in him.

This is your doing, Jughead Jones. This is –

A sharp, metallic sound interrupted her thoughts, and suddenly she was aware of goosebumps raising on the bare flesh on her back as it met the cold air. He had unzipped her dress, and his hands now frantically, expertly grasped the hems, sliding them forward, away from her body.

If there had been any question about where this was going, they were swiftly answered in that one motion. She was now partially naked, her dress bunched around her waist, her silken lavender bra exposed. Hungrily, Jughead continued to kiss her, but his mouth now wandered downwards and away from her mouth, to her neck, her chest, the top of her breasts, leaving a trail of heat in its wake, every coherent thought undone. Underneath her, his desire was making itself evident as she felt his length harden against her, right where she was already growing wetter by the second. On instinct, her hips pressed forward, wanting this, wanting him with a primal, possessive fierceness. He bucked up in response, and she felt a jolt of pure, white-hot pleasure shooting through her body.

“W-wait, wait, wait…” she managed to breathe out. He barely let up, his lips now making quick work of her collarbone. “I need to tell you something.”

If Jughead heard her, it would’ve been entirely accidental. He was completely focused on her, and she remembered now how he always had a thing for kissing her neck, for nipping his teeth at her pulse point in a way that always elicited a breathy moan (which she always had to bite back whenever they were making out on her bed, afraid of the thin walls and of Alice Cooper’s wrath). She knew that if she didn’t physically pull away, he wouldn’t have paid her any heed.

“What?” he panted. “What is it?”

S he felt her body screaming at her, protesting now as Jughead’s lips left her skin. Yes, Betty, it huffed at her. What IS it?

She looked down at him - his head slightly tilted, questioning, his eyes soft and vulnerable but darkened by lust, his face flushed by the heat from its contact with her skin. She had stopped them with the intention of telling him the truth - which truth, she could barely say herself. There were… a few, to put it mildly.

But they were immediately overwhelmed and overtaken by the one truth that mattered most in that moment.

That she loved him. That she never stopped. Couldn’t stop.

And that this - this swirling storm of passion and lust that churned between them, even now as they were parted - was long overdue.

She decided to tell him that truth.

“Nothing,” she whispered in response to his question. Her fingers grazed his bare chest, longing to undo his shirt. “I just… want you. I want all of you. Tonight.”

All of him. Every last inch. Every shade of light and dark. Everything.

If Jughead was impassioned before, her words clearly switched on another gear. She watched him, with a faint sense of pride and smug pleasure, as his eyes grazed greedily over her breasts, evidently seconds away from ravishing them with his mouth.

No, she thought, as she gently tilted his chin up and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Not yet.

Betty needed him in slow motion, at least for now. Needed to savour each second of this encounter. To store up every last frame of it in her memory.

Jughead instinctively picked up on the hint and circled his arms around her bare waist, leaning into the kiss, gentler than before. She sighed into his mouth, their tongues tangling together as they sought a softer intimacy.

How long they spent there, suspended in the leisurely heat of their kiss, Betty had no idea. But as she felt his fingers inching their way up again to the clasp of her bra, she quickly decided that she’d had enough of being the only one naked on the couch. She broke away from their kiss and swiftly pulled him up by his suspenders, which she promptly slid off his shoulders.

Betty saw surprise register on his face at the abrupt change in pace before leaning forward to kiss him again, this time with her hands busy at his shirt. Her fingers sought flesh, and was rewarded when Jughead reached down and unbuttoned the shirt himself. Mirroring his early movements, she gripped the hems and half-tore the garment off his body, freeing his skin so that it was hers to explore. This time, it was her turn to gawk at him - the sinewy muscles of his frame, the slight shadows made by the ripples on his torso.

She had barely finished sweeping her eyes over the expanse of his skin when he pressed his mouth to her left shoulder, the lacy strap of her bra falling off as it gave way to his persistent need to taste her. Leaving a trail of hot breath in their wake, his lips caressed the downward slope of her right breast, and she tilted her head back, closing her eyes in ecstasy as she bit back a cry.

Jughead noticed that and pulled her closer to him, pressing his mouth against her ear. “You’re here with me, Betty, not in your room,” he murmured against her earlobe. “Let me hear you. Please.”

She was so caught up in the urgency of that whisper that she was stunned when her bra suddenly came loose, his clever fingers having worked the clasp, her breasts now freed and exposed to his hungry stare. As he bent down and took one peaked nipple into his mouth, the moans she had worked so hard to stop in her throat pierced the air of the empty trailer, fast and breathless.

“Yeah, Betts, that’s it,” he said, murmuring against her skin. She rocked on top of him, her pussy wet and in desperate need of friction. He was right there with her, thrusting his hardness up against her, and she thought - in between the ministrations of his mouth and the wandering of his hands - that if they kept this up any longer, she’d probably end up reeling over the edge of an orgasm before she even knew it.

Jughead broke away and looked up at her, their eyes level. “Turn around,” he said, his voice low but assertive, no trace of softness or vulnerability evident.

Betty arched an eyebrow at him as she stood up, discarding her dress on the couch, her body completely naked, save for her lacy lavender briefs.

“Wait,” he said, interrupting her as she began to turn. “Can you…? Just stand there for me.”

Betty obeyed him tentatively. They had done some fooling around prior to their break-up, but she had never been this nude in front of him before. His eyebrows were knitted together, his brow furrowed as he looked her over. Betty grew nervous as his silence extended.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” he said, his voice ragged, reverent. “You’re just… you’re breathtaking, Betty.”

His words reduced her to a hot, wanton mess. He inched forward in his seat and drew her closer, planting a flutter of a kiss on her abdomen while his hands grazed the back of her thighs. He reached up to cup her ass, then hooked his fingers underneath the flimsy material of her underwear, dragging it down slowly over her lithe, shapely legs.

Her heart was hammering in her ribs as his hands gripped her hips and swivelled her around before pulling her naked form down onto his lap, with the two of them facing in the same direction. Immediately, Betty saw why he wanted her positioned this way: his hands reached around, firmly groping her full, pert breasts.

Jughead’s hands had wandered before, and she had actively encouraged him, but those incursions upon her body were nothing like this: forward, dominant and sure. Perhaps the darkening days of Riverdale were propelling this need: if tomorrow can’t be promised, if death and danger were right around the corner, then…

“ Fuck, Betts.” He swore as she reached behind her to stroke his cock. Sitting up slightly, he pressed his mouth up against her jaw, whispering and groaning her name, loosening forth a stream of words incoherent, sweet and filthy all at once. In rare moments of lucidity, she watched her body in fascination as it squirmed and contorted in response to him, her legs spreading wide open, begging for him to touch her. When his fingers finally found her throbbing entrance, her back arched right off him, she let out an obscene moan, and he threw an arm around her to hold her down against his body.  

“Stay with me,” he commanded. Her breath was coming out in wild spurts now as he traced circles on her clit. It took all of her restraint not to bear down and have the whole thing over quickly. She was frantic for release, but she needed more than that tonight; she needed intimacy.

Jughead slipped a finger into her, slowly at first, gauging her reaction. “Keep going,” she pleaded, and with one slick movement he buried it in. Her cries were pure and primal as he pumped it in and out of her, his voice still raspy in her ear, his other hand working her breast as she writhed in ecstasy.

The tightness that was winding up in her abdomen was now building up to an eruption. Betty recognised the onslaught, and reached up to grab a firm hold of Jughead’s hair - not enough to pull, but certainly enough to be felt. “I’m… I’m nearly…”

“Let me feel it, Betts,” he muttered into her ear as he nipped on her earlobe and pressed down on her clit. “Every bit of it.”

She clamped her pelvis down into his hand, shamelessly fucking his finger. “Jug. I’m, oh god , I–”

Explosions of white behind her eyes. Her mouth forming a silent, salacious scream. Every muscle taut with pleasure as she rode wave after wave. Then, just as she thought it had died down, the aftershocks of her orgasm shuddered through her body like small tremors.

It could’ve been seconds or hours later - she wasn’t sure. Time suddenly felt fluid, irrelevant. Her body lay limp in Jughead’s arms as he kissed her neck, which was now covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

“Jug… please. In me.” Her breath hitched and she was on the verge of incoherence as the last quivers of their encounter shook out of her.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder before looking around the living room. “Here? You don’t want to move to the bed?”

If he had asked her the same question on that night when he unceremoniously slammed her against the kitchen cabinets, she would have undoubtedly said yes. After all, his bed was the trailer’s closest approximation to how she’d pictured their first time in her mind: a small, quaint cottage in the middle of nowhere, a four-poster bed covered in damask curtains, roses on the sheets, candles on the floor.

But she had tended to his wounds on this couch. Fallen asleep in it while enveloped in his arms. Sat upon it with him through happiness and tension and peace and instability.

It was perfect.

“No,” she whispered, as she turned around. “I want this. I want you. Right here.”

Jughead didn’t need to be told twice, as he undid his belt and pushed down his trousers, his hard length springing forth. Betty straddled him again and immediately started kissing him, her wetness slick on his cock. In between kisses, he managed to ask her, “Are you still…? Do I need to…?”

“I’m on the pill, yeah,” she murmured.

He leaned back and looked at her. “If you want… I can still get a condom, Betty. It’s no big deal.”

“No, no,” she protested, before fixing her stare on him. “I said I wanted all of you, Jug. I… I want to feel you, too.”

Jughead could only nod dumbly, much too overcome for speech. He wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a soft, sweet kiss. They locked eyes, and she nodded in assent. Yes. Now.  

Betty sat up off his lap and lowered herself gently, gingerly, onto him. She hissed through her teeth as she felt her walls expand suddenly upon his entrance, a sharp pang of pain shooting through her body. Jughead groaned as he was buried to the hilt, but kept his eyes on her. As she winced, he grabbed her hands, gently prying her fingers open before kissing her palms, right where her scars were.

Betty was suddenly less alert to the pain and more conscious of the significance of that gesture. How was it that the person who had shattered her world just moments earlier was now being so gentle, so tender? She looked down at him before tucking her hair behind her ear, and bending down to kiss his shoulder - the very same one that Toni had tattooed with the symbol of his loyalty to the South.

When she said she wanted all of him, she meant it.

Every mistake. Every misdemeanour. Every dark and hidden corner.

Jughead began to thrust up into her, and though some remnant of pain lingered behind, she began to sense how this might feel good, how she might want to try it again, and soon. He leaned back on the couch, taking her forward with him, and the new angle sent sparks of pleasures through her. Slowly, they began to build a rhythm - thrust, grind, up, down.

She clenched down on him, experimenting with the sensation, wanting to see what he liked, what made him feel good. At times, he stopped their rhythm in order to press her down onto him, lapping up her tits, ravishing them again with his mouth. As he built up pressure, his speed increasing, she sensed it; he was nearing the brink, and he was ready for freefall.

She pushed up against him, grinding, bucking up her hips with wild abandon, the pain now a distant memory. He groaned his appreciation, all words lost in incoherent bliss, only sensation remaining. Tight. Wet. Euphoria. Faster, she rode him, every part of her thrumming and throbbing and present in the moment.

“Betts, I’m–”

“Yes, Jug,” She closed her eyes. “Yes.”

“I’m about to –”

His body tensed. Their voices mingled as they said each other’s names in tandem - her voice a whisper; his, a muted shout. Seconds of stunned silence followed as he wordlessly buried his head in her neck before breaking out into a deeper, more guttural groan. Betty held on to him, her nails digging into his shoulders as his warm release filled her. A final moan escaped his lips before he collapsed back into the couch.

A small laugh escaped her lips. 

Holy.

Shit.

 …

Later on, after they were both cleaned up and somewhat dressed, they did end up on his bed, only because she was cold and the couch was too narrow for them to lie on. His arm was slung lazily over her bare stomach, their legs entangled, their silence a comfort.

“I need to go home soon,” she finally said, her tone regretful as she stared at all the missed calls on her phone.

Jughead drew her closer. “You’re home here.”

Betty smiled and turned so that she was facing him. “I know. I am.”

She kissed him before she sat up and got off the bed, the soreness in her legs a pleasant reminder of their encounter. He groaned as she stood up, loathe to part with her. As she slipped her dress back on, combing her fingers through her hair, he fixed his eyes on her, unrelenting.

“You feel okay?” he asked.

“I’ve never been better, Juggie.”

“Good,” he said. “Do you want a ride home or something?”

“No, I’ve got the car,” she replied, somewhat reluctantly, the temptation to feel him between her legs again sorely inviting. “Thank you, though.”

They both fell quiet.

Three unsaid words hung in the air between them. It had been a while since either of them had verbalised it. If she really thought about it, Betty supposed that it might be nice to hear themselves say it. Complete the circle, as it were.

But the night had made that redundant, at least for now. And there were many nights ahead of them. Many days in which they could let it be said, whether whispered against a pillow or uttered in conversation or screamed at the height of pleasure.

Betty looked around Jughead’s room. She thought of the trailer, how it framed and reflected their story, and what her presence in his room now said about the next sequence in their narrative.

The Underwood typewriter she had given him sat proudly on his desk. His small library of books was piled high on the floor. His Serpent jacket was draped over a chair. His bedsheets of dark plaid were soft and inviting.

All of a sudden, she knew the three words that she wanted to and could say, right here and right now. They came out of pure desire, but also out of the promise that the chapters of their history had not shuddered to a halt; that they were being written again.

“In here, too,” she half-whispered to herself.

Jughead smiled, not quite catching it. “What was that?”

“In here, too,” she repeated more clearly. “It’ll happen again, and it’ll happen in here. You and me. We’ll make this ours.”

“‘Ours’,” he exhaled. “I like that.”

She stooped down to kiss him one more time. Quietly, she made it a vow. Imbued it with her love, her desire, her passion for him. Whispered into it the memory of tonight. Made it a wish for an infinite amount of tomorrows.

“Yeah,” she said, her laughter on his lips. “Ours.”