*can be a pun but not necessarily, just has significance to the character and doesn’t fall in the other categories

Hey! Who is the artist that makes the art for your games? The cover for Royal Affairs is beautiful!!

I'm fortunate to have had three artists who have done the gorgeous art for my games!

Blood Money: Luke Spooner

Crème de la Crème: Paola Tuazon

Noblesse Oblige and Royal Affairs: Adrien Valdes

punderful sentence starters! *ba dum tss*

How can you spot a nosy pepper? It gets Jalapeño business!

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

What did the prescriptivist owl say? Whom whom.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

Did you know deer can jump higher than the average house? It’s because of their strong hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.

What did one eye say to the other? Just between you and me, something smells.

What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking? Alpaca lunch.

I can’t stand Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He got stomach pane.

What do you call a snail that isn’t moving? An escar-stay.

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They’re really making headlines.

If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?

Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? He was a little horse.

Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery supplies? Every day she went to work, she quivered with joy!

The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar. It was tense.

What’s the body temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke Warm.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool.

Rumors of a food shortage at this year’s spoonerism conference turned out to be a complete lack of pies.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

Did you hear that Cray computing is working on a new supercomputing cluster designed specifically to simulate mental illness? They’re calling it the Cray Cray.

Why does Waldo (from Where’s Waldo) always wear a striped shirt? He doesn’t want to be spotted.

I dropped my toothpaste, I’m crestfallen.

Girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.

I went to a zoo the other day, but there was only one dog there. It was a Shitzu.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field.

𝐦𝐢𝐦𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭í𝐧𝐞𝐳    ;     ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴜᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴᴀʟꜱ  #3 !

are you happy with how the recoupling went for you? did you get your first choice?

         “ super happy !  i was the first person picked at a recoupling again, which feels amazing, and just totally put my mind at ease about potentially going home. like that tight, anxious feeling in my stomach ?  instantly gone, and for the rest of the recoupling i could just sit back and enjoy the drama... and there was a lot.  i’m really happy luke chose me, because i do genuinely think there could be something there more than just that initial sexual chemistry. he’s so attentive to my needs, and he’s a great spooner... although after finding out spoon sex is his favourite position in that challenge, maybe we need to ease off on that a little... you know what they say — spooning leads to forking. ” 

what was the biggest surprise of the recoupling for you?

        “ layla is a god-damn pot stirrer, and honestly, i’m here for it. i kind of feel sorry for josh and naomi. it’s clear that they like each other, and they’ve already had so much drama  ( oops ! )  but then layla’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. it’s not friend island. girl, you do your thang, step on those toes. i just find it really funny how josh pulled me for a chat and then we had this whole massive argument over the fact that he was gonna pick naomi over me and then he didn’t even get to pick her. karma’s a bitch, i guess. whatever, it’s not that deep. our shit’s in the past, now. move on dot org. ” 

what do you think of the new bombshells, nana and leo? are either of them your type?

       “ nana’s super cool — i already love her vibe — and i’m kinda glad she’s tall because that puts her out of the running for some of the short kings. like, obviously height shouldn’t matter, but some guys find it important that they can pick up the girl they’re with and swing her around, but it’s not just about the dudes. i could see romi or naomi maybe going for nana, y’know.  leo’s a spice. i haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet, but he’s hot, for sure. when he walked in, i don’t think there was a single jaw in the villa that hadn’t dropped.  looks-wise, i’d probably go for leo on the outside, yeah. he seems super smart and i do love guys with ambition, but at the same time, there has to be space in their life for me. whoever i end up with, it’s important to me that they know i’m ambitious, too. i don’t want to get invested in anyone looking for a suzie homemaker stay-at-home trophy-wife type while they’re off running a business. that was the good thing about josh ; he supported that ambitious side in me, and i could tell he’d push me to reach my potential on the outside. ” 

who do you think they’re most likely to go for?

       “ honestly, everyone thinks they’re going to go for each other, and while i could see that working — they absolutely smashed that challenge — i think nana and marcus could be a cute pairing, and i see leo working better with layla or charlotte. maybe enzo needs to step his game up.  if leo was wise, he’d go for andrea. she’s had a tough time in here, and hasn’t really gelled with anyone aside from layla, but honestly, i’m still kinda routing for andrayla. i think they could go all the way. ” 

and, finally, is there anyone in the villa outside of your couple that you’re still trying to get to know?

     “ i’m not writing anyone off. i want to get to know everyone. leo and nana are going to shake things up, and i think it’s the change of pace that the villa needs. there are a few couples who were getting too comfortable before this last recoupling. luke and i are pretty fresh, but i reckon some of the other couples need to be tested. what better way to do that than throwing in two new smokin’ hot bombshells ?  speaking of... naomi, luke, nana and now leo ?  the bombshells this year really are bombshelling, and i don’t think there’s a single one of them who hasn’t caused a stir. ”

COLP Feet Anthology: Kickball Bernie by Mark Tulin

COLP Feet Anthology: Kickball Bernie by Mark Tulin

My humorous short story, Kickball Bernie, was published in the COLP Feet Anthology on 6/22 by Gypsum Sound Tales. This quirky literary collection is available at GST to purchase. Featured image and cover for the Feet Anthology by Luke Spooner. Kickball Bernie by Mark Tulin

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Publishers Weekly 2022 Graphic Novel Critics Poll

Winner: Ducks by Kate Beaton

2nd (tie): Keeping Two by Jordan Crane 2nd (tie): The Third Person by Emma Grove

3rd: A Career in Books: A Novel About Friends, Money, and the Occasional Duck Bun by Kate Gavino (Plume) 3rd: The Peanutbutter Sisters and Other American Stories by Rumi Hara (Drawn & Quarterly) 3rd: Smahtguy: The Life and Times of Barney Frank by Eric Orner (Metropolitan) 3rd: Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith (Chronicle) 3rd: What Is Home, Mum? by Sabba Khan (Street Noise) 3rd: Who Will Make the Pancakes by Megan Kelso (Fantagraphics)

Two Votes:

Acting Class by Nick Drnaso (Drawn & Quarterly) Artist by Yeong-shin Ma, trans. from the Korean by Janet Hong (Drawn & Quarterly) Genevieve Castrée: Complete Works 1981 - 2016 by Genevieve Castrée, edited and trans. from the French by Phil Elverum with Aleshia Jensen (Drawn and Quarterly) The High Desert: Black. Punk. Nowhere. by James Spooner (Harper) Invisible Wounds by Jess Ruliffson (Fantagraphics) Joseph Smith and the Mormons by Noah Van Sciver (Abrams ComicArts) The Keeper: Soccer, Me, and the Law That Changed Women’s Lives by Kelcey Ervick (Avery) Men I Trust by Tommi Parrish Notes From a Sickbed by Tessa Brunton (Graphic Universe) Shuna's Journey by Hayao Miyazaki trans. from the Japanese by Alex Dudok de Wit (First Second) Talk to My Back by Yamada Murasaki trans. from the Japanese by Ryan Holmberg (Drawn and Quarterly) Time Zone J by Julie Doucet (Drawn & Quarterly)

Honorable Mentions:

Acid Nun by Corinne Halbert (Silver Sprocket) Across a Field of Starlight by Blue Delliquanti (Random House Graphic) After Lambana: Myth and Magic in Manila by Eliza Victoria and Mervin Malonzo (Tuttle) Alfred Hitchcock: Master of Suspense by Noël Simsolo and Dominique Hé, trans. from the French by Montana Kane (NBM) Alice Guy: First Lady of Film by Catel and Bocquet, trans. from the French by Edward Gauvin (SelfMadeHero) All Your Racial Problems Will Soon End: The Cartoons of Charles Johnson by Charles Johnson (New York Review Comics) Birds of Maine by Michael DeForge (Drawn & Quarterly) Black and White: Tough Love at the Office (#1) by Sal Jiang (Seven Seas) Catch These Hands! (#1) by Murata (Yen) Clementine by Tillie Walden (Image) The Con Artists by Luke Healy (Drawn & Quarterly) DC Pride 2022 by Various Writers/Artists (DC) Down to the Bone: A Leukemia Story by Catherine Pioli (Graphic Mundi) Drip Drip by Paru Itagaki (Viz) Everything Is Ok by Debbie Tung (Andrews McMeel) Fantastic Four: Full Circle by Alex Ross (Abrams ComicArts) Flung Out of Space: Inspired by the Indecent Adventures of Patricia Highsmith by Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer (Abrams ComicArts) G.I.L.T. by Alisa Kwitney and Mauricet (Ahoy!) Galaxy: The Prettiest Star by Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor (DC) Halina Filipina by Arnold Arre (Tuttle) How To Make a Monster by Casanova Frankenstein (Fantagraphics) The Human Target (#1) by Tom King and Greg Smallwood (DC) Hummingbird Heart by Travis Dandro (Drawn & Quarterly) I'm Still Alive by Roberto Saviano and Asaf Hanuka (Boom!) The Joy of Quitting by Keiler Roberts (Drawn & Quarterly) The Last Mechanical Monster by Brian Fies (Abrams ComicArts) The Liminal Zone by Junji Ito, trans. from the Japanese by Jocelyne Allen (Viz) Look Again by Elizabeth Trembley (Street Noise) Look Back by Tatsuki Fujimoto (Viz) Love and Rockets: The First Fifty by Gilbert Hernandez and Jaime Hernandez (Fantagraphics) Monotone Blue by Nagabe (Seven Seas) Movements and Moments edited by Sonja Eismann, Ingo Schöningh, and Maya (Drawn & Quarterly) Mr. Colostomy by Matthew Thurber (Drawn & Quarterly) My Perfect Life by Lynda Barry (Drawn & Quarterly) My Wandering Warrior Existence by Nagata Kabi, trans. from the Japanese by Jocelyne Allen (Seven Seas) Nowhere Girl by Magali Le Huche, trans. from the French by Jesse Aufiery (Nobrow) Number One is Walking: My Life in the Movies and Other Diversions by Steve Martin and Harry Bliss (Celadon) One Beautiful Spring Day by Jim Woodring Our Little Secret by Emily Carrington (Drawn & Quarterly) The Paradox of Getting Better by Raven Lyn Clemons (Silver Sprocket) The Philosopher, the Dog and the Wedding: The Story of the Infamous Female Philosopher Hipparchia by Barbara Stok, trans. from the Dutch by Michele Hutchison (SelfMadeHero) Radical: My Year with a Socialist Senator by Sofia Warren Rave by Jessica Campbell (Drawn & Quarterly) Real Hero Shit by Kendra Wells (Iron Circus) Salamandre by I.N.J. Culbard (Dark Horse) Schappi by Anna Haifisch (Fantagraphics) The Six Sidekicks of Trigger Keaton by Kyle Starks and Chris Schweizer (Image) Slash Them All by Antoine Maillard, trans. from the French by Jenna Allen (Fantagraphics) So Much for Love: How I Survived a Toxic Relationship by Sophie Lambda trans. from the French by Montana Kane (First Second) Something is Killing the Children (#4) by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell'Edera (Boom!) Space Story by Fiona Ostby (West Margin) Squire by Nadia Shammas and Sara Alfageeh (HarperCollins) Thieves by Lucie Bryon (Nobrow) Ultrasound by Conor Stechschulte (Fantagraphics) Upside Dawn by Jason (Fantagraphics) Why the People: The Case for Democracy by Beka Feathers and Ally Shwed (First Second) Yellow Cab by Benoît Cohen and Christophe Chabouté, trans. from the French by Edward Gauvin (IDW)

CLUBHOUSE: Review: Lackington's Magazine #25, Spring 2022.

CLUBHOUSE: Review: Lackington’s Magazine #25, Spring 2022.

OBIR: Occasional Biased and Ignorant Reviews reflecting this reader’s opinion. LACKINGTON’S magazine – issue #25, Spring 2022. Publisher: Lackington Press, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Editor: Ranylt Richildis Cover Art: Paula Arwen Owen Interior Art: P. Emerson Williams, Carrion House A.K.A. Luke Spooner, Kat Weaver, Michelle MX, and Richard Wagner, Lastword – by Ranylt Richildis Yes, sadly,…

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LIT UP: DONALD ARMFIELD of HYBRID SEQUENCE MEDIA

LIT UP: DONALD ARMFIELD of HYBRID SEQUENCE MEDIA Chatting about the upcoming HYBRID, MISFITS MONSTERS & OTHER PHENOMENOM anthology. Who's in it so far, how can we help and when do submissions open? All will be revealed…

I recently had an opportunity to chat with CEO and Founder Donald Armfield of Hybrid Sequence Media about his upcoming HYBRID, MISFITS MONSTERS & OTHER PHENOMENOM anthology. Who’s in it so far, how can we help and when do submissions open? All will be revealed… Hybrid Sequence Media is a diverse publisher focused on poetry, story collections, novellas, novels and writing in all its glorious…

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breaking ice | 03/31/2022 | part three

34 ORCHARD'S debut issue--Spring 2020--now available!

34 ORCHARD’S debut issue–Spring 2020–now available!

The cover of the Spring, 2020 issue of 34 ORCHARD. Cover art: “Lost and Found,” by Brandon Kawashima.

The debut issue of 34 Orchard–a new dark literary fiction magazine–is now available!

With cover art by Brandon Kawashima, this issue features artists from as far away as Greece, Nigeria and the UK–as well as right here in the US–and delivers visceral work that unpacks the things we don’t want to…

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Ooft, rough day for all Arrowverse fans. Legends ending on a cliffhanger and setting up a fugitive future (and Sara’s surprise pregnancy) story with the introduction of Booster Gold and Batwoman only starting to hit its stride after the disaster of a first season and everyone accepting/loving Ryan Wilder as the new Batwoman.

My guess is they will try to wrap up some storylines and character arcs through a limited issue comic or a few mentions in The Flash.

2018-19 Vancouver Canucks ​ Countries of Origin

Canada: Jay Beagle, Alex Biega, Bo Horvat, Ben Hutton, Josh Leivo, Zack MacEwen, Tanner Pearson, Derrick Pouliot, Ashton Sautner, Luke Schenn, Ryan Spooner, Troy Stecher, Christopher Tanev, Josh Teves, Jake Virtanen 🇨🇦

Finland: Markus Granlund 🇫🇮

France: Antoine Roussel 🇫🇷

Russia: Nikolay Goldobin 🇷🇺

Sweden: Alexander Edler, Loui Eriksson, Jacob Markström, Elias Pettersson 🇸🇪

Switzerland: Sven Bärtschi 🇨🇭

United States: Brock Boeser, Thatcher Demko, Adam Gaudette, Quintin Hughes, Tyler Motte, Tim Schaller, Brandon Sutter(🇨🇦) 🇺🇸

21 march 2019

immortal soul:black survival characters as osp quotes

Adela: Brought to you by... basic arithmetic! It’s not that hard. I’m just stupid.

Adriana: Oh god. Oh buddy. Oh, oh, that is warm. Oh yikes.

Aiden: "I don’t know what I was worried about. She’s hundreds of miles away.” “There you are, you BARBARIAN-”

Alex: A gentleman who insists his name is John Johnson, esteemed doer of job at place.

Arda: Scrooge’s day goes from bad to worse to straight up Silent hill

Aya: Because once you leap over those pesky little speed bumps like the worth of human life, it becomes so much easier to solve your problems by just unexisting the people who disagree with you!

Barbara: THAT’S the story that made Sir Walter Raleigh go “I’ve never heard anything more legit in my entire life, let’s go!”

Bernice: No more joking, if you do this, I will hunt you down and slap you.

Bianca: Every day’s a party in Chateau Dracula.

Camilo: -For suggesting that Robespierre just guillotine everyone. Thought the sarcasm was obvious, but clearly he did not catch it.

Cathy: What-ho, fellow humans! Are you enjoying having skin today?

Celine: Or... Or... Blow up parliament!

Chiara: Look no further than- oh, good LORD! Where do you START?!

Chloe: “Heyy, Gregory. Want me to show you where I keep my amontillado?” “Do I?!”

Daniel: JUST MOVE AWAY!

Echion: Because he was basically a giant newborn baby, VICTOR.

Elena: But not just ANY beautiful princess, she’s a LONELY beautiful princess! Plot twist???

Eleven:Maybe they should’ve tried friendship. I’ve heard it’s the greatest treasure of all.

Eva: Crimes against nature 2:electric boogaloo

Emma: What an excellent goddamn soap opera.

Fiora: Of all the goddesses you could’ve chosen, way to pick ones who are 100% guaranteed to not be down with it.

Hart: The scariest part of the story is that the plan might’ve worked if the conspirators shared more than five braincells between them!

Hyejin: Well that’s not very zen of him.

Hyunwoo: That’s IT, that’s a wrap, I don’t care, I DON’T care, just let it be over, please, why is this book so much?!

Isol: ‘Cause even in death, Kukulein will ruin your day.

Jackie: But that’s no problem that a little strategic dismemberment won’t solve!

Jan: Overall, Victor’s life is about as good as it can get, except for that one bit where his mom dies.

Jenny: When this suh-sance business was just starting to be renai’d

Johann: Okay so there’s like five absurdities in that story, but THE POINT IS-

JP: Shock! Horror! Not at all predictably,

Laura: She’s pure evil because she lures you in by being hot, but then, like, she’s secretly a person underneath.

Lenox: Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead and the other one is cursed to only speak in spoonerisms.

Leon: What exactly those “base urges” are is literally never described, but given victorian standards of decency, it could be anything from cannibalizing orphans to doing drag.

Li Dailin: Have you considered... NOT studying?

Luke: But good news, sports fans! The mom may be dead, but the baby lived!

Magnus: For SOME. REASON, I don’t know, Lancelot is stupid.

Mai: That is a beautiful, classic, textbook love story (plus or minus a couple murders)

Nadine: So I may not be the sharpest knife in the Caesar,

Nathapon: This is terrible! Awful! We have to do something! ....in 8 to 13 business months.

Nicky: He and his buddy Pandarius, who was blessed by Demeter to never get indigestion- not a joke-

Rio: So Tantalus is a demigod son of Zeus, which at this point is about as exclusive as being left-handed.

Rosalio: And so, King Mithridates died as he lived. Not dying from poison.

Rozzi: Keep trying to shoot people in the head... And they keep... Not getting shot in the head by me...

Shoichi: “Loki, can we not do this? I’ll literally give you all my worldly possessions if you don’t do this.” “That sounds like something a poor person would say!”

Silvia: But Julius had ignored the golden rule of slow and steady gets the spaghetti

Sissela: Oh no, it seems that you have contracted Big Dead! You should... pray about it.. or something.

Sua: Think the lesson here is that the real monster was the english language all along.

Tia: Mysterious color, etc etc

William: “You are having a great time here?” “I’m distinctly not.”

Xiukai: His Highness the king does not have a poison addiction, he can stop any time he wants.

Yuki: The first instance of what I like to call Van Helsing Serious Face.

Zahir: Unorthodox display of hubris but very well.

send me two characters or ships and i’ll make a gifset of the one i prefer!

below are a list of shows/characters/ships i would like to gif! (looking to gif things i’ve never gifed before or only gifed once)

atypical - casey, izzie, casey/evan, sam/paige

bridgerton - daphne, eloise, penelope, daphne/simon, colin/penelope

dickinson - emily, emily/sue, emily/ben

druck - fatou, nora, kieu my, cash queens, fatou/kieu my, nora/josh

elite - rebeka, nadia, lu, mencia, rebeka/mencia, polo/cayetana/valerio

euphoria - jules, maddy, kat, rue, lexi

ginny and georiga - ginny, max, max/sophie, ginny/marcus, joe/georgia

good trouble - callie/jamie, mariana/raj, callie/gael, malika/isaac, alice/sumi, evan/mariana 

grey’s anatomy - amelia, jo, addison, link/amelia, tom/teddy, meredith/nick, amelia/kai, levi/nico

hsmtmts - gina, nini, ashlyn, ej/gina, ricky/gina, carlos/seb

julie and the phantoms - julie, luke/julie, alex/willie

legacies - josie/finch, josie/landon, lizzie/sebastian, lizzie/ethan, kaleb/cleo, josie/rafael

legends of tomorrow - zari (both of them), ava, astra, spooner, constantine/zari, nate/zari, astra/spooner

outer banks - sarah, kiara, sarah/kira, jj/kira, jj/pope

schitt’s creek - alexis, david/patrick, alexis/ted, alexis/mutt

sex education - maeve, aimee, ruby, otis/maeve, otis/ruby, eric/adam, ola/lily, jackson/cal

skam espana - amira, viri, eva, nora, dani/amira, viri/hugo, eva/jorge

skam france - lola, lola/maya, tiff/max, bilal/jo

skins - naomi, pandora, freddie/effy

supergirl - brainy/nia, james/lena, j’onn/m’gann, alex/kelly

teen wolf - erica, isaac, stiles, scott, boyd/erica, corey/mason, liam/hayden, scott/malia, stiles/malia

the 100 - octavia/levitt, jasper/maya, finn/clarke, kane/abby, raven/shaw

the fosters - aj/callie, wyatt/callie, jesus/lexi, brandon/grace, jude/noah

the oc - summer, taylor, seth/anna, marissa/alex

the originals - freya, cami, marcel/rebekah, jackson/hayley, josh/aiden

the secret circle - cassie, melissa, adam/diana, adam/cassie, jake/cassie, diana/cassie, faye/cassie, diana/melissa

the sex lives of college girls - leighton, bela, leighton/alicia, whitney/canaan, eric/bela

the society - allie, elle, kelly, harry/allie, sam/grizz, helena/luke

the vampire diaries - bonnie/enzo, tyler/caroline, tyler/liv, stefan/rebekah

the wilds - dot, fatin, shelby, toni, nora, martha, rachel, leah, toni/shelby, dot/shelby, rachel/nora, toni/martha, fatin/leah, dot/fatin

yellowjackets - shauna, taissa, natalie, jackie, jackie/shauna, travis/natalie, taissa/van

Anakin Blogging:

What’s the right order to watch the SW movies? KnightOTOC Ranks the SW Movies Why Ahsoka’s S7 Lightsabers are Blue ”I cannot interfere” Sometimes I draw Buzz Lightyear Luke Father-son or brothers? My favorite part of Wookieepedia the Skywalker name Content between TPM and AotC  Helmet: A Star Wars Story Rey Anakin parallel Fresh Salted Hunk from the Deli Devil’s Contract AU An Explanation Are gifs libel or slander? Higher Ground Blogging Lars Quell Name Game Anakin’s Ghost Bum Out Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) Mind-Blowing Organizational Tool The Reaction You Requested Brad Pitt Cameo Can’t Explain, I think it’s Love My 3 Fave Characters Ever Worth its Weight in Gold Dark Middle Chapters My Curse It’s outrageous, it’s unfair Facts and Opinions Would these items work instead? Space Cowboys Diegetic Opera Lady Minnesota Update High-Maintenance Boyfriends Ranked + Part 2 Reconnaissance! This Guy + Part 2 Mirror Universe Karen Do Ben-Hur Again! Young, Dumb, and Full of Midichlorians Happy Birthday! + Part 2 My Ani Cosplay Best Title Crawl in Star Wars Low Poly Ani Hayden Voice + Hayden and Natalie Voices

Love That Maul:

I’m not a Sith Maul’s will Jedi Maul AU + Part 2 Impress the Bridgers “I was hoping for Kenobi” Poor Evil Gay Men "There IS no ‘US!’” Memes for the Old Master Awkward Zelda is the Boy 🙏Manifesting🙏

Other Prequels Stuff:

You’re reckless, little one (Except Shmi) “That’s...why I’m here.” Padme 🤝 Destiel Sith Obi-Wan AU Yikes High Republic Thoughts Pink and Blue Wat Tambor Theory I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. Korkie! Actually I Want at Least 20 Prequels Discourse by Layer Rush Clovis Sideblog? My Evil Wife Ahsoka, Artorias, and Gerard Way Wait...We’re All Handmaidens!

I care about the Knights of Ren:

Illustrated Knights of Ren Headcanons The Baddest Boys of TRoS are Friends  another Knight of Ren theory (with evidence)  Avril of Ren Evil Monkey: Origins Poor Old TRoS Let’s split up, gang, and search for clues! vs Hux

Gay/Emo Shit About Han Solo

Solo is Sad, Too Solo 2 Solo Fandom the FOUNDATIONAL Rare Pair Han Feelings Chewie Feelings

Thinking about Mando:

Gallery review The Rise and Fall of Baby Yoda Coming at You from 2002 The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! Target Audience Mwahahahahaha + Meme + Part 2 Always Read the Comments Madeline just said “pooh pooh!” Warrior Gentleman Ouch, right in the niche! Yes he means ALL Mandalorians Put That Thing Back Where it Came From

Other Disney Star Wars Stuff:

Hierarchy of Needs + Part 2 Finnrey White Feminism Rogue Won LASaT Seriously Though, Where’s Ezra? Always Read the Comments, Bot Edition Cussin’ Anime Predictions My TFA Joke Revenge of the Jedi Promises, Promises

Gamer KnightOTOC:

Old Republic Wars Timeline Worth Fuckin Zeffo OTP YTTD = KotOR 2 Imaginary Sadness of Imaginary World + Part 2 Branching Paths  Less Famous Sherlock Holmeses Hot Takes from my Kitten

Other Star Wars Stuff:

Last Thoughts Masterlist SW cartoons as meals I will never read this again My strongest Star Wars opinion Special Force Abilities Trek AU Top 11′s Balosar blogging Star Wars Writing Women Don’t bet against the house 20 Hot Takes Girls and Siths Vibing with Russ + Part 2 + Part 3 Powerpoint I’ve read approx. 10000 comics about this MY GIRL + AGAIN! + MY SON Ghostwritten by Cham Syndulla Mom Protagonists Dooku makes no damn sense...Compels me, though + Another List Starring Dooku A Daily Occurance + Part 2 + Part 3 Nostalgia and Ending a Franchise + Some Girls Planet Misandry Krayt’s Eye Color Continuity Small Companions Crossover #1 + Crossover #2

Catawampus from Star Wars:

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Fiction: On the Care and Training of Human Staff

An essay by The Mysterious Rumble Purr, as provided by Princess Rain E. Day Art by Luke Spooner

The training and development of human staff can be one of the most difficult yet rewarding tasks assigned to the average feline. The species, self-identified as Homo sapiens, is remarkable in that it has developed complex communities, advanced means of travel and limited orbital escape, and something called tacos. Unfortunately, it also has poorly developed communication skills, which appear to be deteriorating rapidly. Particularly at risk are direct communications and complex thoughts that cannot be explained via emoji.

I have previously hypothesized that humans can be trained with extensive patience and positive reinforcement. This report will cover a longitudinal study lasting, at this point, 12 years, and will discuss the successes and failures of the training regime.

We will begin with a discussion of the human communication limitations and will further address these in our conclusions regarding the success of the project. At no time were any human unduly harmed in this undertaking, thought claw- and fang-based correction were applied as needed. It is further theorized that the overall mental well-being of the humans may be greatly improved as a result of our efforts. Furthermore, we must caution that replication of this experiment may be difficult given that indications are each human suffers from a unique “personality” and varying intelligence level which may significantly impact the test results.

As noted earlier, each human has individual quirks and requirements in their training process.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2020 collection.

The Mysterious Rumble Purr is the secret identity of an American short-hair torbie (not me, I swear it!), living in the Mid-Atlantic. Purr is originally from the Midwest, but moved her human staff east and north looking for a cooler climate. She is fond of tuna from a pouch and ice cream, preferably caramel. When not training humans, she is an organizer in the Feral Cat Union, attempting to help every kitten find its own people. She hopes to try her training techniques next on a canine, but has been unable to train her people to get her a puppy.

Princess Rain E. Day rules a small kingdom in Oaks, Pennsylvania. She is fond of naps, brushing, and chin bumps. She is opposed to the outdoors, her nemesis–black kitty who deigns to set foot in her kingdom–and children. She’s been known to hiss her displeasure at human females who choose to reproduce. Her hobbies include basking in the sun, pouncing her mousey, and guarding the house. This is her first publication.

Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.

“On the Care and Training of Human Staff” is © 2019 Princess Rain E. Day Art accompanying story is © 2019 Luke Spooner

Fiction: On the Care and Training of Human Staff was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal