Me on Not a Hero:

Y'all:

Bonus: Me when I wrote it:

Bonus Bonus: A soul who sees the good in all the pain:

oh to be lying in the breakfast nook thinking about bad romance again

I love the space whale Danny designs (credit to @/puppetmaster13u ) they are gorgeous and I love them, WHY IS IT SO DETAILED??? I KNOW THAT IT WAS LIKE. A ONE OFF DRAWING OF DANNY OR WHATEVER BUT PLEASE THIS TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO JUST DO FLATS. FLATS

Anyways, I did the flats and mostly all the rendering on void touched!vlad, but Danny needs to be shaded and rendered. Also need to add in earth and the appropriate background! Vlad has a black hole core, while Danny’s is a space core, yin and yang for all of time aren’t they?

✧ The Ardal stars ✧

One of the things that's so compelling about Wander is that he's Link, but in a story where raw courage isn't enough to solve his problems.

it's interesting, a few people on my post yesterday about the dandelion dynasty told me they were taking it as a rec for the series, but i didn't actually recommend the series in that post. it's making me think about whether i would rec it to people, a question i hadn't fully considered yet (as it is a very different question from "do i like this book?"). so this is me figuring out the answer to that question. i'll keep it spoiler-free (though i make no promises on brevity).

i just finished book 3 (of 4) and each installment has left me more invested than i was before, but the series started out very slow, and i didn't really get into it until halfway through book 2. i wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people bounce off the first book; i didn't, but only because 1) i almost never give up on a book that i've started (it's a character flaw of mine 😕) and 2) my trust in ken liu is ridiculously high because the other stuff i've read by him is so beloved to me. so my reaction to feeling kind of meh about book 1 was "okay, let's see where he's going with this" rather than "i guess this just isn't my cup of tea."

i should say that the problem might just be my own ignorance/lack of familiarity with the form. i don't read a lot of epic fantasy - in fact, lord of the rings is the one series that i have given up on reading a couple of times because it just left me totally indifferent. so if you like epics, you are starting out way ahead of me and can maybe just ignore the rest of this post lol, but i think i had to adjust to what the form is asking of me and what it's best suited to accomplish before i could get fully on board.

the main thing i struggled with is the writing, like the actual sentence-level mechanics of voice and style. this surprised me, because i usually find his writing very beautiful, or, when not beautiful, i can get a sense of the effect he means to achieve by employing a certain style. but in this series, the writing came across as kind of awkward and one-note to me at first, and i couldn't see a reason for it to be that way.* the dialogue especially - different characters don't really have different ways of speaking, they all feel pretty much the same. this was one of the main things i had to adjust to, but i do get it now. i don't just mean that i got used to the style and it doesn't bother me anymore, though that is true; i mean that i now understand the effect he means to achieve by employing this style, which gives it purpose and inextricably ties it to the story he's telling (this becomes especially clear in book 3, as it's directly related to a major theme of that book). if the style were different, he would be telling a different story; that's the sign of a successful execution, i think.

i said in the tags on yesterday's post that one reason the series doesn't have much of a fandom on here might be that the characters aren't natural blorbos. of course every character is probably the blorbo of somebody somewhere, but i don't know that these characters were designed to be blorbos, if that makes sense. not that they're plot devices either! every single one of them is conflicted and complicated and compelling, and most of them are followed over a period of many years, so we see them develop as people over time. but there is no protagonist, for example. you could also say that every character is a protagonist. the "list of major characters" at the beginning of book 3 is six pages long, and there are stories to be told about each of these characters, and none of them are told in isolation. but in a way, the characters themselves are not the point, or if they are, it's in aggregate - it's in the ways they're all complex, the ways they all have motivations that make sense to them (and that make sense to us, once we get to know them). and it's about power and the roles that the characters play in their society, rather than the roles the characters play in the story. or maybe those are the same thing! because ultimately, the main character of this story is the society. and the plot is the history of this society, rather than the journey or life of a single person or handful of people.**

(sidenote, there will be a period during book 1 when you will think to yourself, "wow, all the women characters are super one-dimensional and the narrative doesn't seem to respect them." this is on purpose. just keep going.)

the plotting is intricate while also feeling very organic. he's got dozens of plates in the air at once, he's maintaining them over a long period (these books are MASSIVE), and he's somehow making it seem like a real history, not like an author pulling strings. i haven't finished it yet, but my guess is that he's going to pull off a very satisfying conclusion that's at the same time very open-ended. definitely looking forward to it.

and the worldbuilding. oh, the worldbuilding. this is some of the most detailed, complex, realistic*** worldbuilding i've ever encountered, and he covers SO much ground. you want linguistic worldbuilding? you got it. philosophy? it's here. psychology of empire? coming right up. the nitty-gritty of everyday governance? buddy, pull up a chair. mechanical engineering? how much time you got?? (it better be enough time to read 3504 physical pages, because that's how long this series is.) and he's drawing on chinese history and cultural narratives rather than slapping lipstick on a tolkien clone (see his comments here, but stop reading at "In this continuation of the series" if you want to avoid spoilers). he WILL go on for a hundred pages about a single invention, but it's SO interesting that he is allowed. this is a story about how technology (including language, and schools of thought, and agriculture, and...) shapes, and is a product of, its time and place and people, so again, this is all to purpose. but it's also just. really cool.

the last thing i'll say, and this is mainly for other ken liu fans, is that one of the things i most love about his short stories is how they tap into emotions i didn't even know i had, as though they're reaching inside of me and drawing to the surface ways of experiencing consciousness and love and mortal life that i had no idea were in there. this series is not causing emotional revelation for me in the way his other stories do, which isn't a bad thing - i don't mean to say the series is not engaging or that it inspires no emotions! i just mean, iykyk. if you've read the paper menagerie and are expecting that experience, you will have a better time here if you leave those expectations at the door. i am invested in this book because it's engaging my intellect, curiosity, sense of wanting to find out what else the characters will learn and what's going to happen next...less because it's turning my heart inside out inside my chest. and like thank goodness, because i don't think i could survive four entire 900-page books' worth of that! but anyway. word to the wise.

tl;dr: yes, i recommend it, especially if you like epic fantasy. if you're a fan of ken liu's other work, this is quite different, so just know that going in!

*this opinion is of course subjective and not universally shared. for instance, see this review of book 3 (full of spoilers, so don't actually read it lol) which says "There's Liu's voice to hold onto, though — beautifully deployed here and fully in command of the language of his imaginary universe." so ymmv. maybe it's an epic fantasy thing.

**this is making me realize that the story is commenting on this very thing through a tension between bureaucracy (founded on interchangeability) and monarchy (informed by a specific personality). dude. that's so meta!

***though sometimes i'm like, "really? you scaled up that invention to use untested on the battlefield in the span of like two weeks? sure, jan." so sometimes he falls down a little on translation of ideas into logistics, but it makes for such a great story that i'll allow it.

based on the tags people are leaving on the clone fucking poll, here's a poll with the answers people seem to want that weren't included.

it has the two missing answers from the first poll (except one's abbreviated because it was too long), an option for if you picked one of the first poll's answers, and popular suggestions people kept leaving in the tags and comments:

have fun Tumblr

(from here)

@questiontocertaintyofreality @whywoulditho ooo lemme do a little promo post to put in the REN tag because the fic makes me happy

Fair warning that as of writing this post, the fic is currently unfinished. I know some people are hesitant to start fics in light of that, but even if a fic remains unfinished my general perspective is to proceed forward and appreciate what an author did share of their work and play around with the little plot bunnies that spring forth in my head.

With that said, some snippets and ramblings (spoilers, natch):

I've said this numerous times before how I'll give more leeway to individual short comics with the hyperbole being used to quickly and clearly deliver a punchline with a limited amount of time and space (like in the chapter 91 "Hayflick Effect" → "Hey! Flick!" bonus comic), but I hate when Emma is stripped of all her nuance to facilitate familiar shipping formulas. I understand how this snowballs from innocuous offhand jokes in the fandom, but it's unfortunate when these things overtake popular perception of her. She's emotionally intelligent and cunning (we see this early on when she's brazen enough to muse what Conny's up during her confrontation with Isabella in the hallway, all while keeping up the most cheerful front), so I always enjoy reading fic that keeps that balance in mind.

Beautiful, a simply beautiful exchange of greetings.

The preestablished Noremma is absolutely delightful. Another thing thing I've mentioned before is my dislike of Norman being extremely uncharacteristically nebbish or aggressively confident and suave when pursuing relationships that' works in tandem's usually packaged with Emma becoming bizarrely demure. Again, I understand the appeal of stock scenarios, but it's not something I enjoy reading for them. I adore when they reach this level of knowing, playful banter with an underlying thrum of challenge, bred of familiarity at which boundaries can be teasingly skirted and which are low blows and off-limits, and founded on them being equals (after both of them, to different degrees, placed each other on pedestals).

I generally have two default outlines for how I see REN getting together: all together at once, or NE getting together first before roping Ray into the relationship. Here it's clearly the latter, though with a bit of a twist in that NE isn't as intimately familiar with Ray stemming from a shared childhood, but there is an awareness of him being out there. There's also the layer of longing that I personally vibe with for him and incorporate into my interpretation of the ship that can be summed up as "Ray is first to know, last to go, and Emma is last to know, first to go." (Because when there’s something she wants and believes it’s correct to do so, she just goes for it. There might be some delay in trying to find the correct timing, but the progress on it dramatically picks up when she realizes, "wait, why aren’t we together? We should fix that." lfjldj adore that respectful tenacity and ambition.)

With Ray, there's a denial born from years of steeling away his heart so he would have the mental fortitude to see off multiple children on their shipment days and a bone-deep belief that after everything he's done, he doesn't deserve such love. He is committed to the vow he makes to Emma in chapter 38 about living on to protect their family, and multiple times he's at the center of discussions what's the best path forward to secure the safety of his friends and family. He can be in the spotlight for that, but when it comes to advocating for his own wants, he falters; accepts that internal strife born of self-loathing as penance for everything he's done to reach this point, prostrates himself to the idea that Emma and Norman are beyond him when it comes to matters of the heart, and attempts to twist and contort to himself he's content to live the remainder of his days with this secret if it means they'll be happy together. (I'll also do a quick shoutout to @salsae's vowsverse for the ultimate breaking down of this wall; simply spectacular culmination of all the build-up over the years.) But all this is underlined by a desperate clinging to the hope that a future with them is possible, a hope that he would never dare put to words but still subconsciously lingers as he tries to extinguish it.

Tying that long tangent back around to this AU, again, Ray doesn't know the two as intimately as he does in canon, but there's a spark of hope at the thought of a different future for himself that he wrestles with, griping over the ludicrousness at the pair's goal and fighting them tooth and nail with each step of their approach, yet he's still the one to initiate their game and can't help but want to meet them to see if there's a foundation where his hope can bloom.

Finally, I am going to McFuckin' Lose It™ if the reveal that Ray is the son of the kingdom's enemy happens in the middle of Norman holding court (either with Emma and Norman knowing beforehand or it being a surprise for them, too; both have delicious potential.)

Just Jin Things

JIN: (*SUDDENLY ON MY FEED*) M E, WAS MAYBE EXPECTING: ... ME: JIN IS THERE GONNA BE NEW KAGEPR--- JIN: ( M I N E C R A F T T I M E ) M E: j I NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you making the stickers please I need to know for uh science

this website right here :3

Alright! Poll's over! I'm gonna be annoying about the responses now!

First thing's first: Thank you to the 247 of you that understood the assignment! Those of you that picked 'straight' will need to take remedial courses to save yourself from a failing grade.

Now I'm gonna talk tags (and the one reply):

Category 1 (Understood the assignment and went for extra credit):

Not only are yall SO correct, you were also funny about it! 10 extra points to you all!

Category 2 (There's only 10 answer options guys. . .):

This was as nuanced as I could get with the amount of options I had while still being inclusive of other sexuality options. I'm not gonna do a whole bracket for this; It was just supposed to be a funny little vague at the piratepolls person who turned out to be an asshole trying to stir the pot.

(I don't care what their intentions were or might have been. It got picked up and passed around by The Usual Suspects, the answer choices they gave were biased and had LESS nuance, and with a DRAMATIC lead on the option that's a significant point of contention in the fandom they made a 'joke' about the winning option being canon despite it only being an interpretation and a poor one at that. I'm not fighting anyone on the 'Izzy is homophobic' interpretation anymore. You're wrong. Argue with the wall.)

I thought emotional repression was implied in all of the 'sexually repressed' options, if I'm being honest. The reason I made a distinction in the 'and proud' group is because I think he can be proud of his sexuality but still be emotionally repressed but I also think there's emotional repression inherent in sexual repression.

The 'just kind of a dick' option isn't meant to imply that he's not being a dick when he's emotionally/sexually repressed, either, just that those aren't necessarily the reason for him being a dick.

Category 3 (Failed the assignment):

(There's more I disagree with from this response but this bit is the part I have an actual problem with.)

Define 'toxic masculinity'. Now do it in a way that doesn't include behaviors and attitudes that nearly everyone in the show has had at some point.

Show me David, or ANY of the cast/crew talking about toxic masculinity and calling attention to Izzy, specifically. Or to the concept of piracy which Izzy (and Ed and Fang and Ivan and Spanish Jackie and the crew of the Revenge, until Stede comes along) adheres to.

I'm not gonna argue here. I'm tired. I've got some pretty gnarly brain fog going on. I just don't want to. I just want you to think about what kind of show this would be if the main character is trying to escape to a world where Izzy's ideals (and worse, he doesn't act nearly as bad towards the crew as it's implied Benjamin Hornigold did) are the norm, but those ideals are, allegedly, inherently bad and toxic. What a show where the main love interest (and potential main character of the second season) wanted out of that life, because he was BORED of it, would imply about those supposed ideals.

The great thing about this show is that none of the characters are JUST narrative devices. They're CHARACTERS. They have an interior to them that informs their choices. We can argue til the sun comes up about why, specifically, Izzy hates Stede, but there's no way to make the reason be 'because Stede is gay' that doesn't diminish who STEDE is as a character, let alone Izzy as a queer man himself (he's queer, argue with the wall).

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that somebody has posted your comic sans comic on reddit in the Undertale subreddit as well as the general comic subreddit. They’ve credited you in the comments and everything, but I just wanted to give you a heads up in case they didn’t ask you first/if you’re not cool with it.

... Huh. Thank you for letting me know- I don't use Reddit, so I had no idea :')!!

They didn't ask, and I'm not a fan of reposting, but I do appreciate the credit (and the fact that they have been correcting people on That One Panel)

Honestly, I'm not sure how to feel about this!! On one hand I'm flattered that it was... "cool" enough to get shared to another site, but on the other hand I'm a little miffed that it was reposted in the first place?

I... is there even anything I can do here?? What is Reddit etiquette? I know reposting is pretty common there, and I'm not really inclined to report them or ask them to take it down if that's part of the post economy/ecosystem, you know?

Thank you again for letting me know, but I uh. have no idea what to do about this!

Does anybody else feel like sometimes you force an idea into a fic instead of just writing an original story because it's so hard to get eyes on an original story? Like fic has a built in audience of people who already like the characters but original works you basically have to get into a magazine or anthology if you want more than your friends to read it

Even if it makes me blind I just wanna see the light Breathe in, leave it all behind I just wanna see the light.

SAN HOLO - LIGHT.

SON OF GOD ILLUSTRATION SERIES. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

i absolutely get where that “all your fave fics were written by middle aged women” post is coming from wrt how women are treated in fandom as they age but like having followed a lot of the writers i was reading stories by back in the day ik for a fact that at the time most of my faves were written by ppl who were like 25 - 35 at the time lmao

i am SO IRRITATED with @support @staff right now

like this detaching a post from its link to each individual reblog in a chain is a NIGHTMARE

-> new hyperfixation, and i'm trying to backread some of the associated blogs that have been around a while, yeah?

and i'm on mobile, which is relevant because hey fuck app users is i guess the motto?

so used to, if you wanted to read a few months/years back on a blog you could: find a tag of theirs, click on a post that was around the time you were interested in, be ported to the blog's dash AS OF THAT TIME IN THE PAST, and just scroll along

but now, because tumblr, for whatever moronic reason, has isolated posts so that

clicking takes you to an individual pane for *only* that post, not where it is on the blog timeline

AND NOW you CANNOT reach a previous reblog from clicking on the username in the reblog (only the og post)

the ONLY way to get back to older posts is to SCROLL MANUALLY FOR LITERAL HOURS

if i want to see posts from 2017, finding an old post and clicking on it does NOTHING to help me - it has been snipped out of its native environment and shown to me, but the other posts available as links at the bottom pane are just whatever tumblr algorithm thinks are 'relevant', not access to the rest of the blog timeline

this is true EVEN ON MY OWN BLOG and

I HATE IT

either make the Archive function work on mobile or GIVE BACK THE FUNCTIONALITY THAT WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD