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Day 12

Prompt: You meet your soulmate in your dreams every night.

Word Count: 3,321

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01,​​​ @spoopy-turtle,​​​ @lizluvscupcakes,​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo, @the-sympathetic-villain, @8-writes, @lizzy-lineart, @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun Soulmate taglist:(Send an ask to be added or removed!) @elizabutgayer, @melodiread, @tsshipmonth2020, @mikalya12, @8-writes, @lizzy-lineart

Logan drifted off with a smile on his face. Soon, he was met with a large room that took up two stories, a bay window that had a lovely area to curl up in, and more bookshelves than anyone could ask for filled to the brim with books on any subject he’d ever learned. Looking out the window would reveal that it was constantly pouring, a gentle rain that released a calm into the air. Upon the seat at the window was a figure in a hoodie, the hood pulled up over his head. His feet were curled beneath him as he sat back against the padded wall. He was deep in a book, lost to the world around him. 

Logan smiled at the sight of his soulmate, walking over to the window seat and the figure curled up on it. “How are you tonight?” His voice was soft, speaking before he approached. 

Virgil looked up, eyes bleary from being dragged out of the story. “Hmm?”

Logan couldn't help but laugh as he sat down next to his soulmate. He knew he wasn’t really his soulmate, just his mind's recreation of him. But he’d been assured that his soulmate acted just like his mind thought he did. Logan didn’t know the science behind it but assumed it was a defense against differences in time zones and sleeping habits or a way of letting soulmates meet, even if one has died.

“Oh, I’m doing fine.” Virgil‘s voice drew him out of his thoughts. 

Logan smiled, shifting so he was sitting with a pillow in his lap and his legs drawn up beside him. He gently patted the pillow, inviting Virgil to lay his head on it. When he did so, Logan began to run his fingers through his hair, having been told that it calms Virgil’s anxiety as it lets him know Logan is there and it feels nice. “Do you have a topic in mind for our talk tonight?” Logan asked absentmindedly.

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, I could always just read to you.”

Logan shook his head, pausing to gently scratch his nails against Virgil’s scalp. “No, I don’t think I’m in the mood for that. Are you?”

“I was simply offering it. If you want to talk about the latest episode of the paranormal podcast I’ve listened to, that’s up to you.”

Logan smiled. “Sure, tell me about that.” And thus, another quiet night was spent with his soulmate in his arms.

The next morning, Logan woke to an empty bed, an empty room, an empty apartment. He got dressed, ate his breakfast, and left for work. That was the thing about seeing his soulmate in his dreams; he got used to it. He got used to seeing him on a regular basis, got used to living with him in his mind. He got used to having Virgil there. It was hard to wake up sometimes, knowing all he had to do was drift off to see him.

He shook himself out of his thoughts when he got to work, his mind switching gears to focus on the lecture of the day. He went about the morning classes productively, until he got to office hours. He’d just sat down at his desk, his door open for students, when a knock sounded. 

“Come in!” He called without looking up.

Footsteps sounded before a voice he would recognize anywhere spoke. “I seem to have gotten a bit turned around. Could you help me find Professor Engel’’s office?”

He raised his head, eyes coming to rest on a face he’d only ever seen in his dreams. He smiled. “Are you her new TA, Virgil?”

The man startled. “Have we met before?”

Logan decided to just be cheesy, knowing Virgil loved Disney and secretly loved cheesy things. “Once upon a dream.”

He relaxed, sagging against the door frame. “Great, I just found my soulmate.” He muttered beneath his breath.

Logan chuckled. “Sorry, did I startle you?” He decided to forgo the question of why Virgil didn’t recognize him as he could already see the eye bags that signaled he was not one to sleep often. 

His soulmate shrugged. “Just a little. Seriously, though,” he glanced at the nameplate on the door, “Logan, I really need to know where her office is.”

Logan nodded. “Of course. Take a left at the end of this hall and a right at the end of that one. Her office should be the third door on the right.”

Virgil smiled. “Thanks.” There was a pause as he stood there for a few more seconds. “Should I come back later to discuss the soulmate thing?”

“I’m just doing office hours right now so as long as a student isn’t in here, you’re free to do so.”

Virgil left, coming back in half an hour. In that time, only one student had briefly dropped by in between classes to ask him to clarify something from the syllabus. He made a note to change that to be clearer if he reused that particular syllabus. “Hey, you still open?”

Logan looked up briefly. “I just have to finish this note and then I’m free to talk.”

Virgil took a seat and waited, his fingers fiddling with the lid of the thermos he carried. Logan jotted down the correction on a sticky note before spinning around to stick it to the wall. He let the momentum carry him around a full rotation, coming back around to face Virgil, who was smiling at his antics. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Virgil sighed, his fingers stilling. “How about that stupid law that says that once you meet your soulmate you have to move in with them as soon as possible?”

“Yeah, there’s that. How is your living situation?”

Virgil shrugged. “I’ve just got a small apartment. No pets, no roommates.”

Logan pulled out a notepad and began to jot things down.  “How many bedrooms does it have?”

Virgil’s brow furrowed as he frowned. “Why does that matter?” His voice was defensive.

Logan looked up at him. “It matters because I’d prefer to sleep in two separate rooms as we are still practically strangers. This way, we’d be closer to roommates than soulmates and would feel no need to form a romantic relationship if we don’t desire one.” He paused, ignoring the fact that he knew he was already in love with Virgil. “Would you be more comfortable sleeping in the same bed?” 

Virgil shook his head almost too quickly. “No, two bedrooms is ideal. My current apartment only has one.”

Logan made another note. “My apartment has two bedrooms. Is yours close to anything you like, such as a favorite store, park, movie theatre, or even the school?”

Virgil bobbled his head as he thought. “Not really.”

“Mine is only a fifteen minutes drive from most things.” Logan paused as a thought hit him. “Even though my apartment sounds like the obvious choice, would you prefer to find a completely new apartment? It might feel better for both of us to move into something instead of one person moving into the other’s space.”

Virgil smiled. “Yeah, a new apartment sounds nice. You know, this is almost providence as the lease of my current apartment is almost up anyways.”

Logan wrote that down as well. “Do you have anything you are allergic to? Food, creatures, medicine?”

“I can’t have most seafood due to iodine. I’m also allergic to red fire ants. You?”

“I’m allergic to peanuts but you are welcome to have them in the house in any form as long as you make sure to label them and clean up after the mess as even just a bit of the oil on my skin can be dangerous. Other than that, I don’t think so.”

Logan searched through his drawers, pulling out a calendar. He flipped it open to the current month. “Do you have any time that’s good for apartment hunting?”

Virgil pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket and Logan couldn’t help but notice the Nightmare Before Christmas case he had on it. “Uhh, I’m free on the weekend or any time after three in the afternoon.”

They planned for the next few minutes of where they preferred the apartment to be and what times worked best for them. A few days later, they were out apartment hunting together. They found the one they wanted and applied, managing to get it on the first try. Both of their names were on the lease and they were moving in the next weekend. Logan had his friend Roman come and help while Virgil roped his brother Patton into doing so, finding out the pair were soulmates in the process.

Logan had loved Virgil for about three years now but it was quite clear that Virgil hadn’t been aware of Logan’s existence until they’d met. So, while they were sitting on the floor of their shared apartment and eating a dinner of pizza, Logan decided to ask about it. “Virgil, may I ask about your sleeping habits?”

Virgil put down the slice of pizza he’d been raising to his mouth. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“I’m sure you know of seeing your soulmate in your dreams so by all means you should have recognized me on sight, just as I did you. Have you . . .  never seen me at all?” Logan was scared. He was scared to think that Virgil had never seen him but was more scared to think that Virgil had chosen to forget about him, chosen to not acknowledge his existence within him. 

Virgil shrugged, a small almost apologetic smile gracing his face. “I don’t sleep.”

Logan’s brow furrowed as a million questions jumped into his brain. “How is that possible? You’d have to sleep eventually.”

“I have pretty bad insomnia. Only one thing seems to have helped but I haven’t been able to do that since I was small. So, I deal with it. I plan around it, drinking energy drinks and caffeine, waiting for the inevitable collapse that comes where I basically just pass out for a few hours. As I’m unconscious, I don’t dream. Thus, I’ve never met my soulmate until you recognized me.”

Logan nodded, wiping his hands on a napkin. “Is there any way I can help? You mentioned something you could do to help it?”

“No, there’s nothing you can do to help although I appreciate the offer.”

With that, the conversation changed to a different topic while Logan’s mind wandered. He wondered if there was anything he could do to help. Determined, he silently promised to be the best housemate anyone could ever ask for. He was going to be quiet whenever possible and make sure to stay out of Virgil’s way. He’d pretend to not even be there for much of the time. 

That lasted a week before the system broke down. Logan had been sitting on the couch doing some work when Virgil came home, looking even more exhausted than usual. Logan began to gather his things, meaning to move to his room to give Virgil space. As he did so, he glanced up at his roommate, who looked close to tears.

Logan instantly dropped everything he had, not caring about the scattering of his neat piles, to move over to Virgil, hands hovering. “Is something wrong? Did something bad happen?”

Virgil dropped his bag. “Do you really hate me that much?” His voice was watery and he looked even closer to tears now.

Logan paused, confusion plain on his face. “What do you mean? Why would I hate you?” His voice was as soft as he could make it, trying to be gentle with his sleep deprived soulmate.

“You always leave the room as soon as I walk in, you only talk to me when I speak first. Do you really hate me already?”

Logan shook his head. “No! I don’t hate you, quite the opposite in fact.”

Virgil sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Then why do you avoid me so much?”

“I don’t mean to avoid you. My intention was to give you space so you don’t feel like I forced you to move in with me.” Logan had no idea what to do about the sleep deprived TA in front of him so he was as sincere as possible. 

Virgil nodded before shuffling over to the couch and dropping onto it. “Don’t. Just stay.”

Logan got the hint and sat back down, beginning to fix his piles. He glanced over at Virgil every once in a while, seeing he was in the same position of sitting with his head thrown back and eyes closed. He eventually sat back as he set up his computer on his lap. It was then that Virgil tilted to the side, his head ending up on Logan’s shoulder. Logan froze, waiting for Virgil to move or say something. Instead, his roommate and soulmate just snored. 

Logan smiled, taking the opportunity to kiss the top of his head and whisper, “Sleep well,” before going back to his work.

When he woke, Virgil stirred and Logan’s hand came up to cradle Virgil’s head, quietly shushing him. Virgil pulled away entirely but still sat close. Logan put down his book and looked over at him. “Did you have a nice nap? I tried to be quiet so as to not interrupt it.”

Virgil smiled. “I dreamt for the first time in ten years.”

Logan was surprised but happy. “Oh, that’s nice. Did you enjoy the experience? I find it rather calming myself.”

Virgil nodded. “I did. Although, I do have a few questions for you.”

“I’ll answer them as best I can.”

“Did our conversation before I fell asleep actually happen or was that part of the dream?”

“You came home and got upset when you saw me begin moving back to my room. You expressed a feeling of inadequacy that I corrected as best I could. Is that the conversation you were thinking of?”

Virgil nodded. “Okay, so, how do you feel about me?”

Logan reached out, as if he wanted to cradle Virgil’s face. “I don’t want to tell you the extent of my emotions as I’m not sure you’re ready for them. I can say that I don’t hate you in the slightest.” He hesitated. “Do you hate me?”

Virgil was quick to shake his head, hand reaching out to rest on Logan's arm. “I may not have had enough time yet to accurately gauge your personality but I like what I’ve seen so far.”

Logan nodded and he felt like there was a weight lifted from his shoulders. “Okay. In that case, I think we need to establish some house rules.”

They discussed at length such things as shared spaces and personal ones, communication of needs, and communication in general. Then, as it was already getting to their usual eating time, they both made their way to the kitchen. Logan started looking through the fridge. “Hey, how was the latest episode of your paranormal podcast?” He popped his head out of the fridge to look at Virgil. “Sorry, I just realized how creepy that could sound.”

Virgil just shrugged, settling onto a clean and out of the way part of the counter. “It’s fine. I’m always willing to talk about that thing as no one else seems to care.”

Logan pulled out ingredients for pancakes before closing the door. “Well, I enjoy hearing about it and find it a calming part of my routine.” He didn’t mention that he found Virgil looked his best when he was animated and talking about a topic he enjoyed. He didn’t mention that he could watch and listen to him for hours, never getting bored of him. He didn’t  say it, knowing that it’s too soon and it would freak him out. So, instead, he listened to him ramble with a smile on his face, occasionally making comments to spur him down a different rabbit hole. 

The rest of the month went smoothly. They got to know each other over that time, Logan learning the small things that showed that Virgil was alive and not just his imagination and Virgil learning everything there was to know about Logan. Logan made sure to answer any question he had and gave him as much information as he could while doing so. 

It was toward the end of the month when it happened. Logan had just been drifting off when he heard a soft knock at his door. Sitting up, he fumbled for his glasses case and the lamp switch. “Virgil? Is that you?” He called quietly.

The door opened with a barely audible click, Virgil coming to stand in the doorway. Logan finally got his glasses on to see Virgil in his nightclothes, fingers playing with the ends of his too long sleeves. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” His voice sounded different, softer and more scared than Logan had ever heard from him. 

Logan smiled, gesturing for him to come in. “It’s alright. Is there something I can help with?”

“I can’t sleep.” It almost sounded like an apology.

Logan nodded, sitting up fully and crossing his legs beneath his weighted blanket. “Okay. Do you want me to talk with you for a bit?”’

“I was actually hoping you could . . . Nevermind, this was stupid.” He turned to go.

Logan stood, reaching Virgil in a few strides. He didn’t try to stop him, but did put a gentle hand on his arm. “Hey, no. Your needs and wants are valid. Talk to me, please.”

Virgil shrugged. “I fell asleep on your shoulder a month ago and dreamt for the first time in ten years. I don’t know, I guess I was just wondering if I could try that again.”

Logan smiled. “You want to try to sleep with physical contact?”

“Yeah, that.” Virgil sounded relieved that he didn't have to explain himself further.

“Okay. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”

In a few minutes, they were curled up together in bed. Virgil was on his stomach, head on Logan's chest, while Logan had his arms wrapped around his roommate. The lamp had been turned off and Logan’s glasses had been safely returned to their case. After being in a similar position with his imagination’s fabrication of Virgil, Logan raised a hand to card through Virgil’s hair. He realized what he was doing and stopped, putting the hand flat on the mattress.

Virgil tilted his head to look at Logan. “You don’t have to stop. That felt kind of nice, actually.”

Logan smiled, his hand going back to the familiar rhythm that calmed him even after years of doing it. They both soon drifted off like that, held in each other’s arms and perfectly content. In the morning, Virgil told Logan he’d dreamt again and they celebrated a little before they had to get to work.

Soon, that became a recurring event. Sometimes, it was three nights a week that Logan would find Virgil curled up beside him, sometimes it was less or more. After the third week in a row of this behavior, Logan had to sit down and talk with Virgil about it. They worked out that having physical contact with another human helped Virgil sleep, something about his anxiety calming when he felt protected. 

One night, Virgil was curled against Logan, who was reading aloud in an attempt to lull Virgil to sleep. Virgil reached up, his hand coming to curve around Logan’s jaw and pause his reading. Leaning closer, Virgil softly planted a kiss on Logan’s cheek and muttered, “I love you, soulmate.”

Logan turned, kissing Virgil’s palm. “I love you too, soulmate.” He closed the book and set it aside, turning off the lamp before sliding deeper into the bed and curling around Virgil. They both fell asleep, comfortable, protected, and loved.

If I am being entirely honest, I don’t want to be married. I don’t want to feel like I am tied to someone.  I don’t want to share my things. I don’t want to have to take care of someone else. I don’t want to sleep in the same bed as someone. I don’t want to feel bad for never wanting to have sex. I don’t want kisses. I don’t want to be touched.  I don’t want to go on trips together. I don’t want any of it. It damn near kills me that every time I look at my wedding dress I have to think about how much I want to forget that day. I want to forget wondering where my husband and my friends were when I was inside dancing. I want to forget that nothing worked out from the very start. That my best friend walked away from me and so many of the people I wanted there the most couldn’t make it. I want to forget that I didn’t get to walk down the aisle to the song I dreamed of for years. I can’t remember what the sanctuary looked like. I don’t remember the vows he said to me and I don’t remember what I wrote. We didn’t get to take communion and I barely got to speak to anyone. I was tired and frustrated and sick and I just wanted to go home.  I’v spent an entire year waiting on things that won’t happen. Wanting more of what I can’t have. The simple fact of the matter is that we are two very different people and the things that matter most to me don’t matter to him at all. He doesn’t see the beauty in the smallest of things. He doesn’t understand how important safety and security are to me. He doesn’t understand why things are so hard for me and why home is so important.  Everything I do is a problem. I have too many feelings. I have too many things. I care about too much. I’m too possessive of my things. I don’t look at it all as “ours” because I know that without the money I bring home we’d both be homeless, hungry, carless, phoneless, insuranceless, and whatever elseless.  We can’t go on dates together because I can’t afford to do everything on my own. I can’t suggest a weekend to do halloween things with friends without hearing him mutter something about “more money” as if it’s not money I worked for to begin with. I can’t exist without hearing something about how I haven’t touched him or I never sleep with him. I hate myself. I hate how I look. I am not comfortable. I don’t like taking my clothes off. Sex is inconvenient and irritating. It’s messy, it’s sticky, and the gratification doesn’t outweigh the frustration. It doesn’t make me feel loved. It’s not intimate to me. It’s nice for five minutes and then I have to get up and take care of myself so I don’t get an infection or something stupid and then I go to sleep like nothing ever happened. The bed isn’t big enough to share and he wakes me up every hour or so with moving and shaking and weird ass noises and I’m never fully rested.  He’s messy and he destroys the bathroom and leaves things in odd places and doesn’t care that it bothers me. He leaves me to do practically everything on my own. I manage the plans. I keep track of the calendar. I know when the bills are due. I make all of the calls. I keep track of groceries and cleaning tasks and everything in between.  He has no understanding of my want for more. For better. For not settling. I grew up in a broken home. I grew up in a place where things were broken so often that none of the dishes matched. Nothing was ever really new. A lot of our things were hand-me-downs from somewhere else. We couldn’t always get the name brand cereals and poptarts. Simple things like toaster strudels and christmas tree cakes were a special treat. I remember eating eggos and peanut butter sandwiches for days and weeks at a time. Most of our clothes came from walmart. We only got to have one pair of shoes at a time. We were limited to how much we could eat or drink because groceries were so expensive. We always shared a room with someone. In fact, we shared everything. I never got to play sports because it cost money. I spent so much of middle and high school conscious of how much things were, missing out on trips of a lifetime because we just didn’t have the money. And no, it wasn’t always that way and it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing that life was the way it was. But I want to be able to open my cabinets and have my things match. I like that my cookie sheets are still silver. My silverware still matches. I like that nothing sticks to my pots and all of my measuring cups are still living on their little rings. My oven mitts aren’t stained and don’t have holes. My picture frames match my blankets that match the couch that matches the tables and chairs. I have a full set of Pyrex measuring cups and none of my coffee mugs are chipped. I have SO MANY shoes and they match all of my outfits. I have running shoes and work shoes and black heels and nude heels and blue heels and silver and gold heels. I have keds and converse and vans I have white shoes and pink shoes and blue shoes and red shoes too. I have dresses for every occasion and new, expensive clothes. Clothes that have stood the test of time. Clothes that I used to walk by the storefronts and say “maybe someday.” I have these things and I am proud of these things. I have worked and worked hard for these things. I saved and I was diligent and I never wanted to settle. I didn’t settle. I wanted more so I worked for it. I wanted to see the world outside of NC so I did. I took my happy self to Seattle and Alaska and California. I saw mountains and valleys and waterfalls that I once dreamed of. I’ve made far away friends and served strangers in cities that feel like home in a past life.  I walked across bridges and saw musicals and sang way too loud in restaurants with my best friend. I’ve ran along shorelines and sat on the edges of cliffs because those are the things that matter the most to me. 

I always thought this was what I wanted. To be married and in a pretty house with the love of my life with all the tiny things I’ve procured from the world around me. Quiet evenings curled up on the couch. Books and movies and dinner and lights wrapped around the rails on the back porch. Fireplaces and fuzzy blankets. Coffee at 9:00pm because I can.  I’m realizing now that I still want those things, but I want them without the pressure of pleasing someone else. I like being alone. I like doing what I want. I like coming and going and not feeling obligated to sometimes snuggle or let someone kiss me. I like not having someone try to get me to take my clothes off when I’m half asleep. I like making a pot of coffee for one person. I like doing things without wondering if I’m going to be questioned about the money I spent later. I like only having semi one-sided conversations with the cat and listening to the music I enjoy in every room Alexa can reach without knowing I’m the only one who likes it.  I’ve never done well with respecting people simply because they’re a man and that’s what they need. I never have understood the inherent NEED for sex and how it’s the driving force of everything and how it’s somehow a problem that I just don’t care for it. I don’t understand why I should have to give more than he should just because I have it. I deliberately chose the things I did because I wanted more, why can’t he choose more too? Why does everything have to revolve around how long he can sit in front of his computer and call people cocksuckers and hope he gets money out of it? Why isn’t his real job more important? Why does he settle for so little? Why doesn’t he do everything he can to be better? Why doesn’t he have the same drive that I do? Why is everything “just the way it is?” to him? Why doesn’t he see doctors or workout more or talk to someone, or something to fix the things that make his life harder? Nothing is “just how it is.” If you want it to be better, fix it. Why am I not allowed to wonder here his money goes? Why do I have to be made to feel guilty for expecting him to give as much as I do?  I don’t think I should have to do without when I alone have the means for more. If I have the ability to do a little extra, why can’t I? The bills are paid, we’re not starving, why should I feel bad about going out of town or buying that new set of makeup brushes or the sweater I fell in love with? Why do I get the “well you ARE married now...” lectures whenever I say I would like to do my own laundry and clean up my own messes and let him worry about his things? Why is it a problem I don’t fucking want to be a mother? I just am really not happy. I’m not. But I made a promise and I took a vow and I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to break another person. I’ve broken so many before and still haven’t forgiven myself for it. I just also know I can’t live like this forever. It isn’t fair to either of us. It isn’t and I can’t keep locking myself in the closet and literally crying myself to sleep every evening after work only to emerge like some gremlin and pretend nothing happened. I just....can’t.  

Becoming Santa.......

Christmas and the Best Gift I Ever Got.....

As a father, we notoriously get terrible gifts. As a dad you get a tie or a tool box. I grew not necessarily rough, but, we didn’t have a huge bounty either. So i promised myself that as I grew up i would make sure i got myself a gift every year. I also promised myself that my children would have great Christmas’s every year as far as i could provide it. Some years my brother and i would share a big gift like a Nintendo. Eventually i would get a job and every year buy myself the Christmas pair of Jordan’s annually.

Fast forward a few years. I’m married with children. Now Christmas is all about them. Somehow though that made me like the holiday more. If i spent it at my mothers house we would do a secret Santa and laugh at the gifts and surprises of who has who in the secret Santa. We would always pick names out of a hate during my younger sister’s birthday party a week before Christmas or at Thanksgiving. If we were at my in laws house we would all gather in the basement to listen to music, dance and eat.

This year at my moms house this year some of my sisters have issues with my mother and didn’t show up. Everyone appeared tired and not into the festivities. Luckily the holidays were saved last night by a gathering with my wife’s family bringing all the gifts for the kids and everyone laughing and joking. Exactly what i needed to get back into the spirit of the season.

Part of the reason that the season didn’t feel as special to me was that this year my wife and i spent so much money making our anniversary special that we agreed to not buy additional a Christmas gifts. This was a mistake. I bought my wife some sneakers for Christmas regardless but i didn’t wrap them i didn’t surprise her. I didn’t make it an event like i normally would. Next year Christmas 2020 will be one of exclusively surprise gifts and dramatics. My wife didn’t get me anything for Christmas because she got me a coat that was expensive for her so we agreed that she didn’t need a second gift. I secretly and stupidly expected her to get me something despite telling her not to do so. I don’t hold that against her i just kind of wanted to be involved in the gift opening with everyone else. That leads me to the best gift she ever got me. Which also happened to be the cheapest gift she ever got me. See I’m obsessed with the Jordan retro 12s sneakers and one year the Space Jam retro 11s came out at the same time. I was upset because she didn’t get the sneakers i wanted and i hadn’t gone to get them myself because she said she would get them for Christmas and with my connections in the mall security staff i would’ve gotten a pair separated for me. So i was so upset and throwing a tantrum that when she surprised me with 3 different color pairs of the retro 12 plus the pair of Space jam 11s i was so busy throwing a tantrum that i couldn’t turn it off and behave appreciative of the amazing gifts i received i was so disappointed in myself. So while this gift probably would’ve been the greatest gift she ever got me the anger i experienced and my stupid behavior took away all the emotion and joy out of the moment because i was being childish. I still regret that behavior to this day. I feel really ashamed so ashamed by my behavior i never apologized for it and i don’t mention it i just kind of hope she forgave me and knew that i absolutely loved it.

The best gift i ever received from my wife and probably ever was one that showed despite not having money that she was thinking of me. That she paid attention and that she cared it was perfect. She got me a book writing book for me to begin writing poetry again, a peanuts Charlie Brown collection of all the comic strips ever written and a calendar of Charlie Brown. It was perfect. It moved me. It showed insight and paying attention to things i held dear from childhood. That’s the thing about good gifts, when chosen correctly it’s worth so much more than monetary value it’s about the thought truly. So yeah becoming Santa sucks but there are moments where the magic is still there.......

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Do you have any old calendars in your room? I have old planners from 2012-2017 if they count as calendars. Do you have any exercise equipment you just hang clothes on? I don’t even have exercise equipment of my own at all haha. Even if I did though I don’t think I’d be that messy. What do you like best about yourself? I’m quite detail-oriented. I can be crazy about it but I’d take it over being inattentive any day. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? I *think* it was Rainbow’s Sunset. It had such potential for a Filipino LGBT film, but they squashed it so bad. Is there a certain breed of dog you just can't stand? Fucking chihuahuas. I never want one of those near me lmao. I MEAN I’d save one of them if they were dying or starving, but I generally just hate their attitude.

Do you own any stuffed animals? I don’t, but my sister is nuts about them. She buys a new one every time we go to the mall. How long until your next birthday? Three weeks till I’m 21 bound. When was the last time you had peanut butter? I’m not so sure. I don’t really like when it’s a spread, but I will have peanut butter-flavored anything. Obama: Love him or hate him? As an observer from the outside, I love him. He’s at least better than the shitshow y’all had elected three years ago. Do you try to blend in with the crowd, or prefer to stand out? I just do my own thing and wouldn’t really care if I ended up as the former or the latter. Say something about the last person to comment you on myspace: What was the last book you read? Idk, something for my Pol Sci class if that counts. How are you currently feeling at the moment? I’m a little hungover and sleepy and I need sloppy hangover food right now, but it’s nothing serious. And the reason for that feeling? I drank so much last night and ate very little. Do you ever feel like you should have been born in a different decade? No, I’m fine where I’m at. Do you like the winter? I would probably like it if I got to experience it. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. Will that be changing anytime soon? Highly doubt it. What was the last thing you bought? How much did you spend on it? A pitcher of some cocktail. I don’t even remember how much it was, I just kept pulling out money last night. Are you a Twilight fan? YESSSSSSSSSSSSS If so, have you seen the movie yet? I’ve seen the first one a literal hundred times. I know every word to it. How many profile views do you have on MySpace? What do you currently hear? There was a tricycle (or a motorcycle?) that zoomed past the house just now and I heard its engine. Anything hurting on you right now? Just my stomach because it feels empty.

When was the last time you sent someone a letter in the mail? Wow uhhh never haha. Do you like video games? I can appreciate them, but I don’t play them myself. Anything you're looking forward to? I’m watching the UP/ADMU volleyball game laterrrrr and I’m super excited for it. Are you currently missing someone? Kind of. Anything you're wanting to say to someone right now? Sure. Do you have anything in your room that has penguins on it? I doubt it. Are you any good at HTML? I used to be when I would edit my themes on Tumblr. I barely remember any of those tricks now. Do you like the band Mae? (They're amazing!) Never heard. Have you ever kissed someone who had braces? Yes. Funny feeling, but it’s cute. What's your favorite fruit? I hate fruit!!! If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? This was also asked in the previous survey. Dark green. What's the most random thing in your room? I have a weird inflated figure of a pig on top of my closet. I won it at an arcade. Do you say "like" too much? Yeah I think so. In your opinion, what's the worst music genre out there? I’m not gonna shit on an entire genre and call it the worst lol. I can live without country, though. What was the last thing you ate? One of the basic burgers at McDonald’s and their fries. Are you currently on a diet? Nope. Have you ever experienced true love? What I’ve been experiencing for three years feels like it, but I don’t really like to claim it - the idea of ~true love~ is very subjective. What's the longest relationship you've been in? Three years.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? (Assuming you celebrate it, that is) What does your last text say? “I’ll excuse us.” Do you believe in evolution or Creation? Evolution. Duh? Have you ever been to any concerts? Which ones? Paramore two times, One Direction, Coldplay (from the fifth floor of a parking lot), a whole bunch of local gigs. Who was the last person to smack your booty? Probs Gab. Bright colors or pastels? Pastels! What's something you're really wanting right now? HANGOVER FOOD. I need a really greasy fried chicken with nachos and a burger right now, fuuuuuuuck. I’m so hungry. Do you like Paramore? OMG I didn’t know this question was going to be on here :(((((( I LOVE THEM On average, how much TV do you watch each day? 0. Do you need to do laundry? I don’t do laundry. Do you download songs illegally? (i.e. Limewire) I used to, but now I just do Spotify. Do you play any instruments? I can’t. I was not blessed in that department. If not, do you wish you did? Of course I do. I would have loved to know how to play the piano or the violin. What was the last song/songs you listened to on repeat? Lie To Me by 5SOS. Who are your top friends? QUICK! The world is ending!!! Fish or chicken??? Chicken. Anywho, when was the last time you went out on a date? Last Thursday. Gab and I had Yabu for dinner - been legit a long while since we had a proper dinner like that. Pants or shorts? Shorts. Do you need to pee? Not right now. Plans for tomorrow? Study! Gotta bounce back after this shitty week. When was the last time you colored in a coloring book? December. I invested in several adult coloring books at the time to help cope with my annual Christmas depression thing. Are you really a kid at heart? I can be.

40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me

You probably already know me decently well or else you wouldn’t be reading this, so instead of rehashing the basic (boring) “getting to know me” questions I dug a little deeper and asked myself about what’s really important. Here is the result: 40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me. Enjoy!

1. What Parks and Rec character am I?

While I could argue for almost everyone on the show I’m probably most like Ben Wyatt: a white, brunette, and sad man who eats soup alone on a park bench (minus his love of math and rollerskate kink)

2: Top 5 books?

To Kill a Mockingbird, The Secret History, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Help, 11/22/63

3: Top 5 movies?

Chinatown, Star Wars, Rear Window, National Treasure (nick cage can be good in small doses ok) and Nancy Drew (2007)

4: Top 5 shows?

Parks and Rec, B99, That 70′s Show, Mad Men, Arrested Development

5: Top 10 most iconic vines?

1) Chris is that a weed/Mary is that a police

2) Hi My Name is Trey I have A Basketball Game Tomorrow

3) Rebecca It’s Not What You Think

4) The one where the girl is just hitting elmo with a baseball bat

5) Anything Kermit but esp. the one where he falls off the building

6) You Know This Boy Got His Free Taco

7) 2 Bros Chillin in the Hot Tub

8) Waelcom to my Keeetchen we have bananis and avocadis

9) Whoever Threw That Paper Your Mom’s A Hoe

10) i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag (yOU SPILLED WHAHULAUG LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINE WHITE BAG)

6: Where do I see myself in 21 years?

One of my dreams in life is to marry the heir to a prestigious winery out in wine country. I have a vision of myself at 39, waking up at 10 AM on a tuesday and standing on my private balcony in my state-of-the-art spanish stucco villa. i am drinking a chardonnay despite the early hour whilst i observe my grape empire in my silk negligee. the only event planned for the day is a portrait sitting for my rottweilers (4 of them), for which i have arranged spaces in the family’s private art gallery. i am aging well despite the harsh california sun and my partner and i have a trip to tuscany planned for the fall. it’s a charmed life and i never tire of eating grapes  

7: Top 5 favorite cryptids

1) Nessie (Nessie is a true lady I believe in her)

2) Mothman (not real)/ el chupacabra (possibly real)

3) the kraken (definitely real)

4) Bigfoot (not real but a legend anyways)

5) the yeti (real only in russia)

8: Do I Believe in Ghosts

It’s a complicated topic and of course we will likely never know for sure but the short answer is yes. in my opinion though, what ghosts are is the important question: are they really the dead coming back to haunt the earth? are they just manifestations of energy that the mind interprets into recognizable shapes? hallucinations? or is it wish fulfillment and the reduction of tensions on a heavy conscience? our brains are capable of powerful things, but it begs the question as to whether if a human desperately wants something to be true does the human mind have the power to make it true? c. s. lewis mentioned once that he never understood the ghost debate since, given that ghosts are real, they have no real power over us or anything interesting to say. but i believe that just goes to show how the mystery is far often more important than the solution.

9: Best/Worst Month of the Year

Best: May/November (spring/fall in full swing, holidays, time off school, great atmosphere) Worst: August (too dang hot & start of school)

10: What is one of my embarrassing secrets

I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was nine (velcro ftw)

11: What is my Dream Date

We go cryptid hunting in the woods and have a picnic in the dark; you supply dogs for entertainment and guardianship purposes, i supply drinks and the cryptozoological myths we are chasing. Afterwards we get gelato

12: Top 3 Presidents

(this is based solely on arbitrary opinion not policies) 1) Barry Obama 2) Lincoln  3) Millard Fillmore (his name is funny) 

Honorable mention: jimmy carter (he was the only noncorrupt man in office for like 30 years before barry)

13: Top 3 Vice Presidents

1) John Adams, if nothing else but for the drama this man caused 2) Walter Mondale 3) the big boy JB 

Honorable Mention: Nichard Rixon

14: Top 3 Secretaries of State

1) Madeline Albright 2) Henry Clay 3) Elihu P. Washburn 

(note: secretaries of state have the funniest names, like Hamilton Fish (1869-1877) rest easy Mr. Fish)

15: Worst Activity they make you do in middle school PE

Middle school P.E. is the worst in general but I’m going to say either grading you on your shotput skills (?) or BMI (??) or just the tuesday run in general (luther kids know)

16: Top 4 Worst Scents

1) Washing a knife covered in peanut butter 2) Really cheap perfume that they sell in checkout lines at convenience stores 3) Olives 4) organic deodorant

17: Top 7 Conspiracy Theories

1) The Denver Airport is an underground military fallout shelter designed to protect the 1% from nuclear warfare

2) A Roman pope adjusted the Gregorian calendar so that his reign would fall on 1000 AD so we’re actually living in the year 1783

3) Paul McCartney is dead and was replaced prior to the Seargant Pepper album by a lookalike named Billy Shears

4) The state of Wyoming is a myth

5) Avril Lavigne died and was replaced back in the early 00’s

6) The Titanic sank because too many people went back in time to prevent it from sinking

7) Not to be cliche George Bush and the military-industrial complex orchestrated the 9/11 attacks (jet fuel can’t melt steel beams and all that)

18: Inside jokes with myself

I’m not usually a “gamer” but every year without fail someone introduces me to a game exactly at finals time and I get hooked and it ruins my gpa and study habits. This year it’s Stardew Valley, last year it was Dream Daddy and the year before that it was undertale and I blame Jojo for absolutely all of it bc they are usually the instigator. Anyway, every year I joke with myself about what game will derail my grades this year

19: Top 5 Worst Tactile Sensations

1) Putting tights or leggings on wet, hairy legs post-shower

2) Running fingernails along cardboard

3) Sweating in a turtleneck

4) Having wet, salty hair after swimming that drips down onto your back and makes the top of your shirt damp

5) Reaching into a bag of grapes and only finding really soft, slimy ones

20: Best Cat I’ve ever encountered

One time my friend and I were leaving Romancing the Bean and walking back to her car and the fattest, fluffiest, softest ginger cat I’ve ever seen came trotting up to us and flopped over at our feet. He was such a good boy!!! And so friendly with strangers!! He was very well groomed and just wanted some love, and whenever we stopped petting him he would jump up onto our legs and leave little wet paw prints everywhere, I wanted to kidnap him

21: Best dog I’ve ever encountered

All of them

22: Best squirrel I’ve ever encountered

My dad has befriended a squirrel named Nutty that likes to sneak into his office when the door’s open and steals peanuts. if the door is closed he’ll bang on it and scream until we acknowledge him

23: If I were a furry what would my fursona be

I do not know because I am not a furry. HOWEVER someone who is well-versed in furry matters told me once that I would be one of those long, nervous dogs like a greyhound maybe and tbh I could see it

24: Favorite/Least Favorite Disneyland Rides

My favorite has always been haunted mansion, except for the halloween season when it’s nightmare before christmas and then it’s thunder mountain. I just love the outside atmosphere of the house bc I’m a slut for that southern gothic architecture style. Worst is splash mountain because there’s no seatbelt and LOGICALLY i know I don’t need one but it doesn’t stop me from having a panic attack every time I get on and we go up the big hill as I worry about being flung from the toboggan across the park

25: Least favorite restaurant within 10 mile radius of my house

I live over by Porto’s so I am #blessed to be surrounded by some really dope food. However there is a hipster place a couple of blocks over in Toluca Lake that only serves bizarre food like fried chicken in maple syrup with waffle fries and it’s surprisingly bland, so the lack of taste combines with how expensive it is probably makes it the worst (it’s also forgettable bc I can’t even remember its name)

26: Rank of JBHS history department according to how good of a parent they would be

9.Mr. Bixler - I have never had this man so I can’t say shit. NA/10

8. Ms. Snowden - I’ve never had her either but I’ve heard enough about her between Burroughs and Luther to know that this woman is kind of scary, intimidating and uptight, all things I personally do not desire in a parent. 2/10

7. Mr. Hatch - I love Scott Hatch but he is a tremendous mess of a man. Judging by his wife’s instagram photos his idea of parenting is taking naps while cuddling his children and letting his wife do the rest of the hard work. Plus he seems like the type to be too wrapped up in his own melodrama and too busy hangin out with his best friend Edward Frankenbush playing Xbox to pay much attention to his kids. However, he did skip the first day of school to take his daughter to kindergarten so he gets points for that. 4/10

6. Mr. Lee - Mr. Lee is a very respectable guy who seems like he does a very good job providing for his family. He’s ranked as middle of the road because he’s a naturally private person so I can’t speak to his parenting tactics or personality much, however the few stories he shared about his daughter were very cute and he does the typical teacher/parent things like making her his screensaver on his computer. Overall, a very quality dad and man, 6.5/10

5. Mr. Fitz - Kyle Fitzgerald is similarly a mess of a man, but the difference between him and Scott Hatch is that he seems to make an investment in his kid. He always talks about current events in terms of what idiocy his poor daughter will have to put up with which shows his devotion to her well-being and survival in a confusing world. Also he brought her in to go swimming once while I was working at Verdugo and I got to see them having a great time on the splash pad and it warmed my heart. Great dad 7/10

4. Mr. Piper - Richard Piper is such a good father but in a detached way. He loves talking about his son and wife just as much as he loves talking about planes. The real kicker? When he talks about taking his son ON planes and geeking out over history together. He also asked all of his classes for people looking for tutoring work when his son was struggling in math which is so cute. Good guy Rick gets an 8/10.

2. (tie) Mr. Frankenbush and Ms. Hacker - Ed and Jan are both beautiful people. I know Ms. Hacker is #divisive but I personally am a big fan and would die to have her guidance in my daily life. She’s always interested in what’s going on in people’s lives and sure she’s definitely chaotic but it’s a loving chaos that’s only looking to help other people. I’ve not had the pleasure of having Mr. Frankenbush but he always is hanging out with his son Joey and they love coming to the Burroughs pool and playing water polo together; they spend a lot of time together since his wife works so much and they have such a buddy friendship. Both of these lovely people are super devoted and invested in the youth and would make great parents. 9/10

1. Mr. Clark - A god. We don’t deserve this man and I can’t sing his praises enough. Were were all lucky enough to be Greg’s children I don’t think evil would exist in the world. 11/10

27: Worst book I read for school

Hands down Tale of Two Cities since it’s the only one I’ve never finished. Dickens just doesn’t do it for me I guess plus I get really tired of the one dimensional characters and how much he romanticizes Lucy

28: Favorite little-known tidbit of history

When Richard Nixon went to Soviet Russia as Eisenhower’s VP during the cold war his secret service agents detected higher than usual amounts of radiation coming from Nixon’s hotel room, so they started talking loudly about it bc they knew the Soviets had planted buds and were listening. Within like an hour the radiation had vanished and they never heard anything about it again so man Soviet’s ain’t sly

29: 5 Places in Burbank That Are Definitely Haunted

1. Coral Cafe for obvious reasons, look up the ghost on youtube

2. The View seems like it would have some kind of el chupacabra-esque creature prowling around, maybe a mountain lion hybrid

3. Fry’s Electronics

4. The abandoned train station under the bridge

5. The LA river by the equestrian center

30: Rank of all the AP classes i took in order of entertainment value

9) AP Bio: I liked bio but the class wasn’t very entertaining. There’s not a lot of humor in bacteria and cells, and Mr. Van Loo is much more of a calming than a humorous and chaotic presence, so overall it takes the hit as the least entertaining class.

8) AP Stats: Math is similarly not very entertaining, but Mrs. Hollingshed’s erratic personality gives it the edge over Bio. Definitely more humorous than expected of a math class.

7) AP Econ: I bombed econ and business/money isn’t very entertaining but Jan Hacker made it so thanks to her chaos (love her though).

6) AP Euro: European history is incredibly iconic because, spoiler alert, Europeans are idiots and historically speaking everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I just wish I remember it since I think idiot sophomore Lily slept through most of the class so needless to say I didn’t soak up much of the entertainment value. If it were up to me I’d take it over again and maybe stay awake this time.

5) AP Lit: Lit was just as much challenging and intimidating as it was entertaining, so it balances out. Mrs. Caluya is notably iconic and the books we read were all pretty interesting so it gets a high vote from me.

3) (tie) Gov/APUSH: History is always entertaining in my eyes since people do stupid things out of pettiness. These two tie for different reasons: Mr. Piper is a great teacher and that mock trial we did for the industrial age was great, but the subject was also extremely entertaining overall. I loved reading about how John Adams made making fun of him illegal. Gov was mostly just entertaining because of Mr. Hatch and how salty his is about the government. His sarcastic comments about how corrupt everything is gave life to an otherwise pretty lifeless subject.

2) AP Lang: aka the class with no curriculum, or the Kuglen Hour. I love Mr. Kuglen so much and he is responsible for 99% of the amusement in the class. I somehow learned how to be a better writer by listening to him complain about Trump and everything else under the sun for an hour every day so it was well worth it. Also who doesn’t like a class where you read Dave Sedaris for homework?

1) AP Psych: Without question, this is the epitome of entertainment. Psychology is just a mishmash of people trying to figure out why humans are as stupid as we are and why we do dumb things. Add in all the iconic psychologists and history and a class led by salty Mr. Hatch and you have a recipe for an entertaining year.

31: Top 5 Iconic JBHS teachers that I NEVER had (no particular order)

Mr. Peebles: A quirky man who I would have loved were I any good at math whatsoever

Mr. Arakelian: Band kids hate him but the stories I hear are so frickin iconic that I wish I could be an honorary band kid for a day and see the horror firsthand. If you have Arakelian stories please send them my way I’d love to hear about your pain

Mr. Frankenbush: A sad boi who everyone should get to experience and I regret never having.

Dr. Madooglu: He was so kind to me after the failed anti-trump lunchtime protest last year and he didn’t even know me. I wish I could’ve experienced him as a teacher.

Mr. Clark: The man, the myth, the legend

32: List of some iconic swim horror stories

Charlie breaking his hand after he lost a race and punched the gutter as hard as he could

Some idiot JV boys smearing poop all over the Burbank High locker room

The entire JV team getting Burroughs swim banned from Islands

Me almost passing out at the Los Amigos meet last year after I didn’t eat or sleep all day

Everyone always feigning illness or injury to get out of swimming the 4x100 relay

Getting in trouble for watching boys volleyball practice instead of doing the weight room sets

Every. Single. 5AM morning practice before school.

When coach martin finally figured out how periods work and suddenly we couldn’t use that as an excuse for not swimming anymore

33: What Office Character Would I Be

A mix between Angela, Oscar, and Kelly (we love our dramatic icons)

34: #1 Thing I’d Bring With Me to a Desert Island

Castaway for instructional purposes

35: What Would I call my memoir

Schadenfreude

36: 7 Best Buzzfeed Unsolved Episodes (no particular order)

This is one of my favorite shows so these are my recommendations:

1. 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - one of the very first and best episodes; a 45-minute special where the Boys investigate the Winchester house in San Francisco, the Island of the Dolls in Mexico, and the Sallie House in Kansas

2. The Strange Disappearance of D. B. Cooper - A man going by the name of Dan Cooper hijacked a plane, demanded money and passage to Mexico, and then at some point jumped out of the plane and was never seen again. To this day no one knows his identity or his fate despite some of the ransom money turning up in a river somewhere.

3. The Haunted Halls of Waverly Hills Hospital - Ryan and Shane explore an abandoned asylum in Pennsylvania and some creepy stuff ensues. One of the best supernatural episodes

4. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - An almost hilarious story (with reenactments!) about a seriously inept security guard and the loss of some of the world’s most beloved paintings. This was one of the first episodes after they started making money and the production quality is off the charts 

5. The Scandalous Murder of William Desmond Taylor - Another excellent reenactment story about one of Hollywood’s first and biggest scandals, the suspicious murder of a leading film producer.

6. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - A woman’s body was found suspiciously burned in the European wilderness and no one knows who she is or how exactly she was killed. Watch if you like espionage!

7. The Strange Killing of Ken Rex McElroy - An entire town seemingly rose up to murder a douchey, violent pedophile. One of the only episodes that’s actually happy?

37: 6 Things I would Have Changed About High School

1. Definitely would have joined yearbook as soon as I could

2. Wouldn’t have forced myself to swim for all 4 years; if the passion’s gone then you shouldn’t force it. It’s just a sign that you need to move on to better things

3. I would’ve taken more AP’s and maybe tried another stem ap class. I’ve always been self-conscious about how bad I am at math, but I’ve gotten a little better over the years and instead of being too afraid to challenge myself I would’ve liked to see how I could do and prove myself.

4. Worrying less about grades!! I killed myself over my grades for like three years and then I just kind of let myself go. I would have let myself have who knows how many more hours of sleep and taken the L on a couple of assignments; I’m still learning that my health is more important than perfection.

5. Meeting the right people! I wouldn’t have restricted myself to a few friends and would have branched out more by joinng stuff like JSA. It sucks meeting the right people your senior year and realizing that I was hanging out with the wrong people this whole time.

6. Spanish instead of French.

38: What Would I Name My Farm Animals if I had A Farm

I’d definitely name them all after female Shakespearian characters. My cows would be Hippolyta and Titania from Midsummer, my horse would be Desdemona from Othello, my chickens would be Gonereil, Regan, and Cordelia from King Lear and my goat would be named Gertrude from Hamlet

39: Most Useless Talent I Have

I have a really strong internal clock so when I don’t think about it too hard and guess intuitively I can usually predict how much time has passed/what time it is without looking at a clock. It’s really only useful for estimating how much time I wasted standing in the shower staring at the wall

40: Top Regret After Writing This:

Writing this instead of studying for my econ test in seven hours.

Thanks for reading!

It has been so fun this month, doing activities with the children at Angel's Place, events with community and growing closer to God during advent! At Angel's Place we put winter and Christmas themed books in the room to read to the kids, we accepted and sorted a ton of donations that would be given to parents for their children, we decorated ornaments and had a visit from Santa...despite covid we did everything in our power to make this memorable for the children.  

In the days leading up to Christmas break, we experienced a terrific snow storm with over a foot on snow- something that hasn't happened in a couple years, here. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and when we had only 3 dedicated children show up (1 year, 2 years, and 3 years old) we put them in snow suits and had snowball fights and sledding adventures in the back yard before coming inside for cookies and cocoa. The children loved the snow and probably could have stayed outside for hours longer than us teachers!  On the last day before Christmas break we had pajama day. If any children forgot, we put PJ's on them that they would get to keep. I dressed in my polar bear flannels and Christmas tree headband that the kids all loved! When the children were picked up we gave their parent a big black trash bag full of toys that they inconspicuously hid in the car before the kids could see. For most families, these will appear under the tree on Christmas morning from Santa Clause. I couldn't help but be excited for the kids!

In community, we did a secret Santa. We wrote our names down along with some things we like to give our secret Santa some help. I drew Rozellah's name and got her a 2021 calendar in a design I hoped she would like and also hand painted her name and framed it. When we opened each others gifts, I was glad to see she was pleased! I, myself, received a scented candle, a treat bag with Reeses and peanut butter cookies as well as a paint by numbers of the Blessed Virgin Mary cradling an infant Jesus. I was touched beyond words at this wonderful gift from my friend and her knowledge of picking something she knew I would love. I am so excited to see how the painting turns out! After our exchange, we sipped hot cocoa and watched the classic movie Home Alone. As I settled in for the evening, I thanked God for the comforts of home and friendship I was currently experiencing and prayed for a Merry Christmas as we are all soon to embark on our Christmas vacations.

Mary-Teresa

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? Open, typically.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Sometimes.

Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? Yes. My first time was in a hotel room.

Where is your next vacation? My living room, because I’m choosing to be smart and considerate by social distancing.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No

Who do you think reads these? No one.

Do you have a calendar in your room? I don’t. I do love calendars, though, so maybe I should get one.

Where are you? In my bedroom. Not sleeping.

What’s your plan for the day? To practice social distancing and get work done from home.

Are you reading any books right now? Not right now, actually.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No.

Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes.

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Yes.

Do you chew your pens and pencils? Nope.

Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I do it a lot.

Do you still watch cartoons? Yes.

Whats your favorite love movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

What do you drink with dinner? Water.

What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in? Nothing. I’m a vegetarian.

What is your favorite food/cuisine? Pizza.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Carol, Mean Girls, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Nashville (1975), 20th Century Women, Sense & Sensibility. I might be gay.

Last person you hugged/kissed? I hugged my mom today.

Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No.

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? It would have to be a nice paycheck.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Probably after I graduated high school, so a little over nine years ago.

Can you change the oil on a car? No.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No.

Run out of gas? No.

Favorite kind of sandwich? Egg salad with tomato.

Best thing to eat for breakfast? In terms of nutritional value, oatmeal is hard to beat.

What is your usual bedtime? Hahahah.

Are you lazy? A bit.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I went as Kane for one Halloween.

Do you have any magazine subscriptions? None.

Which are better, legos or lincoln logs? I never got into Lincoln Logs, so I’ll go with Legos on this one.

Are you stubborn? To a fault.

Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Letterman.

Ever watch soap operas? I watch professional wrestling, does that count?

Afraid of heights? Not really.

Sing in the car? Yes.

Dance in the shower? No.

Dance in the car? What are we even talking about?

Ever used a gun? No.

Do you think musicals are cheesy? No way.

Is Christmas stressful? Very.

Ever eat a pierogi? I don’t know what they are, so no?

Major annoyance right now? My inability to sleep. And also, you know, the global pandemic.

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher, professional wrestler, veterinarian. Spoiler: I do none of those things.

Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t.

Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Frequently.

Do you take a vitamin daily? I don’t.

Wear slippers? No.

Wear a bath robe? No.

What do you wear to bed? My underwear and usually the shirt I wore that day.

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? K-Mart was awesome.

Nike or Adidas? I’m more of a New Balance guy.

Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts.

Ever hear of, “gorp”? It’s like trail mix, right?

Ever taken karate? No.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes.

Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

Ever won a spelling bee? No. I never even entered a spelling bee, despite being an exceptional speller.

Ever cried because you were so happy? I have before. Doesn’t happen often, though.

Own any record albums? I don’t.

Own a record player? My mom does.

Regularly burn incense? No.

Ever been in love? No.

Hot tea or cold tea: Hot.

Tea or coffee? Coffee.

Favorite kind of cookie? The frosted sugar cookies they sell at grocery store bakeries. Runner-up: Chocolate chip.

Can you swim well? Quite.

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? Yes.

Are you patient? I try very hard to be.

Ever won a contest? Not anything serious.

Ever had plastic surgery? No plastic surgery for me.

Which are better black or green olives? Black.

Can you knit or crochet? No, unfortunately.

Wash room or bathroom? Bathroom.

Do you want to get married? Sure.

Who was your High School crush? No one.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No.

Do you have kids? No.

Do you want kids? Not sure.

What kind of mom are you? I’m not a mom. I’m not a parent at all, actually!

Do you miss anyone right now? Yes.

Who do you want to see right now? I want to see Joe Biden as he’s inaugurated into the White House. That’s it.

And again! (11 facts)

Sorry to spam you guys! I’ve let these sit around all day and am just getting to them. Thanks @puste--blume for tagging me! :D

I think I did this about a month ago, but heck, I’ll do it again just for kicks. ^_^ Here we go!

1. Although I go by Nikki, my first name is actually Nicole. It means “victory of the people,” and I really dig it! 

2. My favorite comics (like traditional newspaper ones) are Calvin and Hobbes and The Peanuts. I have a tear-off calendar of Peanuts comics that my parents got me for Christmas! I also may or may not have gotten the entire collection for Christmas last year... I’m an adult I swear! 

3. I love to cook, but I rarely do unless I’m with my family. It’s really hard to cook for one person. 

4. As a little kid, I hated Sesame Street, but I like the segment Elmo’s World. It was the only part of the show I’d watch. Idk why. 

5. I’m secretly so happy that so many people in this fandom love wolves and dragons! They’re both so awesome! Just thought I’d say something haha 

6. My favorite articles of clothing are usually graphic tees/sweatshirts and socks with fun patterns! My mom recently sent some with toucans on them!

7. I really don’t look like anyone in my family. I’m kind of just a mix of everyone.

8. I’ve never read or seen any of the Twilight books/movies. 

9. My first celebrity crush was Orlando Bloom in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Please don’t judge me...

10. Right now, I have an ungodly obsession with Thai green curry for some reason. 

11. My favorite poem is Into My Own by Robert Frost. 

I’m not going to tag anyone since I just tagged a bunch of people in my last post. If you want to do this, consider yourself tagged! :D 

May - September 2018

Boy did I drop the ball on blogging this year. Each month I intended to write a post, but there was always something that came up at the end of the month that made me wait. Well, the wait is over. Here's a rundown of what mattered to me over the last several months.

Weight Loss

I started my journey on January 1, and by the end of June I hit my new "maintenance" weight of 142 lbs, which is a full 55 lbs lost this year! I don't worry too much about daily fluctuations, but if I get below 140 then I know I need to eat more, and if I go above 144, then I know to eat less. Fortunately, the healthy choices I make for most meals leaves room for ice cream and cake when I want. Which is good, because this summer was perfect for ice cream so I ate a lot of it :-)

Here's a brief overview of my journey:

Jan 1: 197 lbs (89.3 kg) / 32% body fat

April 29: 153.4 lbs (69.6 kg) / 17.7% body fat

Late June: 142 lbs (64.4 kg) / 13% body fat

Now: Same!

Running

I mentioned in my last post that running was never meant to be a goal of mine this year. I tried to get back into running a couple times over the last few years and I failed each time. After the weight was off, though, I decided to give it another try. Well, it's safe to say that this time I succeeded. So much so that it's actually taken over my life. I hit great milestones across a variety of distances and am currently in the middle of training for my first ever marathon which is just 5 weeks from today. Here's a breakdown of my major races:

April - First race of the season after hardly any running: 10k in 42:47

June - Dam to Dam!: 20k in 1:28:47

July - First 5k of the year: 5k in 20:00

August - Second 5k of the year: 5k in 18:37

September - Copenhagen Half Marathon (Seeking redemption after my very painful experience last year): HM in 1:24:08

My primary source of training was the book "Faster Road Racing" by Pete Pfitzinger and Philip Latter, which does a great job providing both the science and reasoning behind their training plans and practical, effective training plans that are easy to follow. I found it so valuable, that I bought Advanced Marathoning by the same author to train for my marathons.

Other Goals

Be social: I haven't done great on this front. I've done some things here and there, but not as much as I should have. I've been caught up in a few side projects that I'll explain below. Between those projects and running I've turned into a bit of a recluse lately.

Crafting: Other than the wallet I made myself out of an IKEA bag, I haven't done as much as I'd hoped. I started knitting a sock but I stopped when I needed to turn the heel. I bought a couple sweater patterns, but never started them. I started a crochet project, but gave it up after an hour. The only "success" I've had is that I've finished knitting 75 out of 100 squares for my Hue Shift Afghan! But it's already been a month or two since I touched that, so I need to get back on the wagon if I hope to finish it this year.

Gym Routine: I'm doing it! I'm not doing much, averaging maybe 2 times a week for a couple upper body lifts and a 10 minute ab session, but it's better than nothing. I cut back on the gym as I got closer to the Copenhagen Half Marathon, and I'll probably stay conservative until the marathon in November, but then I'll probably hit the weights a bit harder for a few months.

Finish "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler" by Italo Calvino: Nope. Once again, I got about halfway through and stopped. It's a shame because I love the concept of the book, it just gets a bit tiresome and I can't plow through it. I also failed to get through "Norse Mythology" by Neil Gaiman. I've mentioned before how much "American Gods" resonated with me, but I can't help but feel that his writing is a bit flat in this one. This time he isn't inventing the stories himself, he's writing his own versions of classic norse myths. Unfortunately, it's not the stories that I dislike, but rather his way of telling them. O well, I've moved on to "Galápagos" by Kurt Vonnegut. I loved "Cat's Cradle" when I read it earlier this year and when my Uncle Randy posted about this, a book by Vonnegut that I wasn't familiar with, I decided to order it and give it a go. So far no regrets!

Other Highlights

Programming Projects: I've been a busy beaver and published 2 websites and made one project to help out Silvia. For the geeks in the room: All three were built using Azure Functions, and the two websites were built using React and Office UI Fabric and hosted on Github Pages.

Strava Weather Reporter: Strava is hugely popular service for tracking and sharing runs, bike rides, and other athletic activities. "Strava Weather Reporter" is a service I wrote for automatically adding weather information to the description of Strava activities. So now when I run, I can automatically see what the temperature, wind, and other factors are on my run. And when I complain to somebody else about how cold it was, they can see that I wasn't lying! It's fully functional and operational, so try it out today! (Website) | (Backend).

PointSaber: At work we have a room called "The Garage" which has all sorts of gadgets and gizmos, including a virtual reality headset hooked up to a game called "Beat Saber". "Beat Saber" is a bit like Guitar Hero with light sabers and is addictively fun. A group of us in the office play it a lot, but we had no easy way to see our scores and compare with each other. So I wrote a mod for the game which uploads the scores to the cloud so I can show them on the website. If anybody has the game and wants to get this set up for themselves, let me know. It's as easy as installing the mod and configuring a name. (Game Mod) | (Website)

Shift Scraper: Silvia works at an event center and gets to "self serve" shifts from an online portal. Unfortunately, there's no warning when shifts will be posted and no built in way to get notifications, so I wrote up a small service to help her out. It signs in to the website, checks the calendar, and emails her links to any new shifts it finds. (Source)

Travel: I was fortunate enough to travel to London to see "Hamilton", to Spain and Boston for some weddings, to Seattle for a work conference, and to Iowa to see my family!

Baking: I made brownies and peanut butter cookies and scotcheroos and shared them with friends. They were all super tasty!

TV Shows: I've watched some great shows this year. The best is probably season 1 of "The Bridge", which we watched entirely in Danish/Swedish with Danish Subtitles! I love that I could follow along in the original language and look forward to watching more seasons of it or other Danish shows/films. We're also up to season 7 in "Modern Family" and Silvia and I finally finished Peter Capaldi's seasons of "Doctor Who". I caught up on "The 100" (the seasons available in Denmark) and for some reason I've willingly watched more seasons of "Scorpion" (why? It is so bad in every conceivable way from bad acting to product placement to absurdly unrealistic plots). As I do every year, I'll put a complete list in my "end of year" post.

Next Goals

We're well into the year and I've overachieved on some goals and underachieved on others. So, after reevaluating a bit, here is what I hope to achieve by the end of the year:

Finish knitting my Hue Shift Afghan: Doing other knitting would be a bonus, but this is the one thing that I really need to get this done.

Read 3 books:

Consistently hit the gym: After my marathon, I need to get in the gym more regularly.

Scale Strava Weather Reporter: There's a bit more "behind the scenes" work needed before I can get more people on it. But when that's done, I'd like to start sharing it more widely. By Christmas I'd like to have more than 5000 users.

Christmas Traditions

I’m so excited for Christmas! I just love the atmosphere around Christmas. Everyone is always so happy and giving. One of my favorite parts of the holidays is being with my family. For as long as I’ve known, my family has always done certain Christmas traditions. The day after Thanksgiving is when we start putting up the decorations. Usually it’s my siblings and my dad that work on the lights outside. Meanwhile, my mom and I decorate the inside. My family has TONS of Christmas decorations. We put up a lot Peanuts (Charlie Brown) decorations which was mainly inspired by our aunt who has an entire Peanuts tree. We’ve always really loved the Peanut’s special of A Charlie Brown Christmas. We also watch those claymations of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa Clause is Coming to Town. Anyways, at the end of the decorating day, we put up the tree and put the ornaments on it. We don’t have a tree with matching ornaments that are all the same size, color, and shape. Our tree consists of bright vacation ornaments, homemade ornaments, and many many more ornaments. My siblings and I collect 1 ornament each, every year. My sister’s ornaments are angels, my brother’s are snowmen, and mine are teddy bears. We always do a family advent calendar and advent wreath. At my church, we do this show around Christmas call The Gift of Christmas. It is a much more elaborate show than what you think a church would do. If you just google it, it is described as “one of the largest Christmas pageants in the US”. I’ve done it year after year with my friends and it’s always so much fun. Another tradition was mainly done when we were kids. When we were little, we used to do something with our cousins called Polar Express night. We would go over to our their house and we would do a scavenger hunt and make our own tickets. Then, we would get into our pajamas and go around the house to collect candy. After that, we lined up at the door as our uncle put hole punches into our tickets. We would then get into the car and drive around, eating our candy, and looking at Christmas lights. Once we got back to the house, our aunt would read us the Polar Express picture book and then we would watch the movie. We also had a night that we called Santa’s Workshop where the cousins from both sides of family come over to our house and decorated cookies with us. Sometimes we would also go out caroling to friends houses. We watch a lot of Christmas movies but our favorites are Elf, White Christmas, and It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s a Wonderful Life is at the top of all of our lists though. We watch it every Christmas Eve while quoting our favorite lines with perfect timing. Even though my siblings are in college and I’m a junior in high school, we still set out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve.When we were kids, we used to alternate going to our grandparents house and staying home on Christmas but over the past couple of years everyone just comes to our house. Usually on Christmas morning my sister wakes up first and then wakes up my brother and I. We tiptoe downstairs and try to find a way to wake up our parents without looking at the tree. One thing about Christmas is that it will forever make me feel like a little kid again.

all of them? owo

u. i appreciate u.

200: my crush’s name is: good. its a good name.199: I was born in: september!!198: I am really: gay197: My cellphone company is: so-so??196: My eye color is: grey195: My shoe size is: nine or ten usually194: My ring size is: no clue dude193: My height is: five ten!! 192: I am allergic to: geckos...??? its weird191: My 1st car was: no car im dying190: My 1st job was: kitchen aid189: Last book you read: enders game188: My bed is: soft warm and welcoming uwu187: My pet: the best white lab ever i love him185: My favorite shampoo is: s..starts with an s....i think184: Xbox or ps3: i have an xbox but all the games i want rn are on ps4 183: Piggy banks are: good and cute i love them182: In my pockets: my phone181: On my calendar: calendars are for chumps180: Marriage is: uhhhh179: Spongebob can: do anything178: My mom: never heard of her176: Last YouTube video watched: this...175: How many cousins do you have? three!!174: Do you have any siblings? two or three173: Are your parents divorced? yes172: Are you taller than your mom? no clue171: Do you play an instrument? i used to play viola!! hh..170: What did you do yesterday? hm. good question.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: i believe in infatuation at first sight168: Luck: y..yes167: Fate: you make your own fate ultimately but yes166: Yourself: trying to165: Aliens: no clue164: Heaven: no clue163: Hell: not to be edgy or anything but were living in it arent we162: God: i believe there are many for different things!!161: Horoscopes: yes160: Soul mates: sorta159: Ghosts: yes158: Gay Marriage: i.. am gay...157: War: not really156: Orbs: yea155: Magic: yea[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: gimme smooches152: Phone or Online: phone if its someone close151: Red heads or Black haired: i mixed up the words and first read “black heads” and assumed this was a this-or-that acne question 150: Blondes or Brunettes: uh149: Hot or cold: youre yes and youre no youre in and youre out youre up and youre d148: Summer or winter: summer!!147: Autumn or Spring: oh.. tentative autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla is now cursed but id say chocolate anyways145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples.. with peanut butter... nice143: Curly or Straight hair: hm.142: McDonalds or Burger King: ew140: Mac or PC: pc please i love myself139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops my dude138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: hm.137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: is this even a question135: Buried or cremated: havent decided134: Singing or Dancing: singinggg133: Coach or Chanel: uh132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: uh??131: Small town or Big city: big city.. maybe130: Wal-Mart or Target: i have Memories in target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ngh128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure it feels so awkward getting arm massages and not knowing where to look127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast beast coast126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday. christmas is cursed i hate it125: Chocolate or Flowers: oh.. oh no.... both124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags fuck yeah123: Yankees or Red Sox: yodels[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: whack121: George Bush: whack120: Gay Marriage: free me119: The presidential election: whack118: Abortion: its a choice117: MySpace: whack116: Reality TV:whack115: Parents:whack114: Back stabbers:whack113: Ebay:whack112: Facebook:whack111: Work:whack110: My Neighbors:  whack109: Gas Prices:whack108: Designer Clothes:whack107: College:whack106: Sports:whack105: My family:whack104: The future:whack[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: uhhh102: Last time you ate: just now101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: t..omorrow??100: Cried in front of someone: no99: Went to a movie theater: i saw spiderman i think its hard to remember98: Took a vacation: spring break i think97: Swam in a pool: no clue96: Changed a diaper: no clue95: Got my nails done: too long let me be a pretty boy94: Went to a wedding: Years93: Broke a bone: never actually92: Got a piercing: uhhh?? i think i was eleven91: Broke the law: never anything serious90: Texted: an hour i think[ MISC ]88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing i will be Free87: The last movie I saw: gotg2.. i left early it was so boring86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: hm.85: The thing im not looking forward to: hm.84: People call me: they call me bell they call me stacy they call me her they call me jane thats not my n83: The most difficult thing to do is: oh worm just one?82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never im too nervous a driver81: My zodiac sign is: libraaa80: The first person i talked to today was: @/haj-ime and i love him79: First time you had a crush: this fucko noah in the first grade i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself........ was that edgy enough or77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: me?76: Right now I am talking to: no one im 2anxious4talk75: What are you going to do when you grow up: oh hey lmk when u figure this one out id love to know74: I have/will get a job: i stare into the camera like im on the office73: Tomorrow: yes?72: Today: what is the question here71: Next Summer: no really 70: Next Weekend: im so confused69: I have these pets: i have one single evil fish bc he ate all the others and also my puppy cooper i love him68: The worst sound in the world: anything to do with chalkboards i hate them67: The person that makes me cry the most is: oh hey trauma mention opportunity-66: People that make you happy: everyone on my friends page and my mutuals uwu65: Last time I cried: oh64: My friends are: Good i love them63: My computer is: a trooper even if it crashes at least twice a week62: My School: i am my school 61: My Car: NONEXISTENT 60: I lose all respect for people who: lose my respect59: The movie I cried at was: hm. its not a movie but does kiznaiver count?58: Your hair color is: uhhhh57: TV shows you watch: A Lot56: Favorite web site: the internet is a bottomless pit55: Your dream vacation: maybe a cabin in the mountains... good54: The worst pain I was ever in was: oh hey another trauma opport53: How do you like your steak cooked: c..ooked52: My room is: neat..ish51: My favorite celebrity is: none50: Where would you like to be: how many people do u think replied coffin49: Do you want children: yeah!!48: Ever been in love: hm.46: More guy friends or girl friends: boyfriends im gay45: One thing that makes you feel great is: making people happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my friends uwu43: Do you have a 5 year plan: it changes every week i42: Have you made a bucketlist: not really41: Have you pre-named your children: nah40: Last person I got mad at: uhhh39: I would like to move to: colorado.. maybe38: I wish I was a professional: something[ My Favorites ]36: Vehicle: none they all scare me35: President: obama maybe?34: State visited: coloradoooo33: Cellphone provider: hm.32: Athlete: hm.31: Actor:hm.30: Actress:hm.29: Singer:hm.28: Band:hm.27: Clothing store:hm.26: Grocery store:hm.25: TV show:too many that fluctuate 24: Movie: too many that fluctuate22: Animal: dogs!!!!!!!21: Theme park: all of them i think20: Holiday:hm.19: Sport to watch: no thanks18: Sport to play: double no thanks17: Magazine:hm.16: Book:hm.15: Day of the week: uhh14: Beach: all i think13: Concert attended: any symphony 12: Thing to cook: i like baking cakes.. 11: Food: either fettuccine alfredo or pizza bc im basic10: Restaurant:hm.9: Radio station:hm.8: Yankee candle scent: idk but i have this one really nice candle thats campfire smoke scented and mmmmmm i love it7: Perfume: i dont really wear perfume!!6: Flower: yes.5: Color: blue!!4: Talk show host:hm.3: Comedian:hm.2: Dog breed: this is such a trick question1: Did you answer all these truthfully? more or less

answer all of em lmao

Screw You200 things you can put in my ask200: My crush’s name is: still haunting me. Also I can't say here. He'd know. 199: I was born in: A hospital. at least I think I was198: I am really: Tired 197: My cellphone company is: AT&T196: My eye color is: Brown and Green 195: My shoe size is: 9194: My ring size is: 8?193: My height is: 5'5192: I am allergic to: Oranges and Strawberries 191: My 1st car was: Ford Escort LX190: My 1st job was: A Daycare 189: Last book you read: The World By Jan Morris188: My bed is: My favorite place 187: My pet: She's old 😞186: My best friend: Is always there for me185: My favorite shampoo is: whatever is in the shower 184: Xbox or ps3: neither I like Nintendo's 64183: Piggy banks are: something I never owned 182: In my pockets: currently in a skirt so nothing181: On my calendar: Lots 180: Marriage is: Something I hope to have one day 179: Spongebob can: make me laugh178: My mom: Is the strongest person I know177: The last three songs I bought were? Keaton Henson 176: Last YouTube video watched: music of some sort 175: How many cousins do you have? 2 that I know 174: Do you have any siblings? yes 4 and 2 married in173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yes?171: Do you play an instrument? yes 170: What did you do yesterday? worked for a couple people[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: at first sight no. 168: Luck: maybe 167: Fate: definitely 166: Yourself: eh I'm trying 165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: I believe so 163: Hell: sure162: God: yes161: Horoscopes: yeah 160: Soul mates: absolutely 159: Ghosts: YES158: Gay Marriage: definitely people can love whoever they want 157: War: hate it 156: Orbs: ehhhh155: Magic: possibly [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: both?153: Drunk or High: Drunk152: Phone or Online: phone151: Red heads or Black haired: black150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Strawberry 145: Night or Day: day144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly142: McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate 140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: Sneakers 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor (IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION)137: Coke or Pepsi: cherry Pepsi otherwise coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: something with birds 134: Singing or Dancing: both 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who? 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler probably 128: Manicure or Pedicure: none 127: East Coast or West Coast: I don't know126: Your Birthday or Christmas: I just like holidays 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: I don't care for sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Hate it121: George Bush: He's a guy120: Gay Marriage: It's cool119: The presidential election: fuckin done118: Abortion: I hate the idea of it but people have their rights 117: MySpace: had a conversation about is yesterday 116: Reality TV: ehh don't care for it115: Parents: mine are weird but I love them 114: Back stabbers: I hate them113: Ebay: never used it 112: Facebook: It's alright.111: Work: Well I don't have a job so ??110: My Neighbors: are annoying 109: Gas Prices: suck108: Designer Clothes: don't care for them 107: College: I will be going soon 106: Sports: not into them 105: My family: Is crazy 104: The future: It's coming fast. don't waste time go for what you want![ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: honestly it's been a while 102: Last time you ate: last night 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: in about an hour 100: Cried in front of someone: yesterday 99: Went to a movie theater: a week ago?98: Took a vacation: last summer97: Swam in a pool: last summer96: Changed a diaper: couple of days ago 95: Got my nails done: last year94: Went to a wedding: last year 93: Broke a bone: 2008 I broke my right arm92: Got a piercing: 2013 I got my second piercings 91: Broke the law: yesterday 90: Texted: about an hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: My brother 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My family 87: The last movie I saw: Something about a murder 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: making something of myself 85: The thing I'm not looking forward to failing84: People call me: Zoe 83: The most difficult thing to do is: tell people you're over someone when your not82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: Scorpio 80: The first person I talked to today was: My mom79: First time you had a crush: I was like 878: The one person who I can’t hide things from : My sister in law 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully a psychologist74: I have/will get a job: after summer 73: Tomorrow: is easter and my brothers birthday72: Today: I have a funeral to attend 71: Next Summer: will be different 70: Next Weekend: I'm not sure 69: I have these pets: they're my world and also crazy 68: The worst sound in the world: nail filing AHHHH67: The person that makes me cry the most is: this guy that does't even like me 66: People that make you happy: my friends65: Last time I cried: last night 64: My friends are: the best 63: My computer is: stupid 62: My School: is at home61: My Car: it's great 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie to me 59: The movie I cried at was: IDK 58: Your hair color is: red It was brunette but I dyed it 57: TV shows you watch: rick and Morty, The Office and Parks and Rec 56: Favorite web site: Tumblr55: Your dream vacation: anywhere with someone I love54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when my brother moved away 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare 52: My room is: aesthetically pleasing 51: My favorite celebrity is: I don't really have one 50: Where would you like to be: anywhere but here 49: Do you want children: sure sometime in the future 48: Ever been in love: yes47: Who’s your best friend: aprillll46: More guy friends or girl friends: more girl friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: people who actually care44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I shouldn't say 43: Do you have a 5-year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: not really but I have ideas 41: Have you pre-named your children: no but I do have names I like 40: Last person I got mad at: myself 39: I would like to move to: I don't know 38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: something with peanut butter 36: Vehicle: VW 35: President: 34: State visited: Idaho 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: don't have one 31: Actor: Chris Pratt 30: Actress: not sure29: Singer: Keaton Henson28: Band: The Oh Hellos or panic at the disco or modern baseball 27: Clothing store: any thrift store 26: Grocery store: Safeway 25: TV show: parks and recreation 24: Movie: Space jam 23: Website: Tumblr 22: Animal: Dog or cat21: Theme park: does the boardwalk count?20: Holiday: anything where the whole family's together 19: Sport to watch: soccer 18: Sport to play: soccer17: Magazine: none 16: Book: hard question I like a lot currently The World 15: Day of the week: Tuesday 14: Beach: somewhere in Oregon 13: Concert attended: Panic at the disco 12: Thing to cook: eggs 11: Food: spaghetti 10: Restaurant: Cozy 9: Radio station: don't have one 8: Yankee candle scent: uh I don't know the names of them but something that smells musky 7: Perfume: I like old spice6: Flower: all of them5: Color: I like red4: Talk show host: Don't know3: Comedian: don't have a favorite 2: Dog breed: St Bernard 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I tried