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maladaptive---daydreamer · 3 years

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No more secrets

(This is set in 6th year, no voldemort being back business)

Sunlight filtered through the dormitory windows onto your sleeping form. You had asked your older brother to teach you a charm to bewitch your windows to reflect the weather outside, growing tired for the green murk courtesy of the black lake. You fluttered your eyes, blinking the sleep from them and rolled over to check the small clock at your bedside. Despite it being the weekend your body still woke you up at 7 am like clockwork, causing you to groan in frustration and smack your bedsheets

“Some of us are trying to fall back to sleep, you know” Daphne grumbled from her bed, beside you.

“Seize the day miss Greengrass” you replied, deciding you might as well get out of bed and follow your own advice.

You kicked your sheets off and made your bed before gathering your things and heading to the prefects bathroom for a shower. You returned to the dormitory with clean hair that smelt of your apple shampoo dressed in some comfy muggle clothes you purchased. Despite their shortcomings, muggles really knew how to dress comfortably. You had stumbled across Piccadilly Circus while trying to get to Diagon Alley during the Christmas break in your fourth year while on your own. In one of the shops you had seen joggers folded on a display and just had to purchase them, they were warm and soft, perfect for cold days.

“My, my what would your pure blood ancestors say if they saw you dressed like a muggle” Daphne teased from her bed.

“Someone has to be the family disappointment don’t they” You replied, putting your clothes in the laundry basket.

“I highly doubt you’re the family disappointment, Y/N, you’re top of the class in basically everything, you’re the first prefect in your family too!” Lily said. She was easily the most positive witch in Slytherin house and hated to see you bring yourself down like that

“Well, Granger is all those things and she’s a mudblood, our parents don’t care about academics as much as you’d think they do” Pansy interjected

“Pansy, no one asked you. As I recall this was a conversation between Daphne, Lily and myself” you snapped, knowing she was attempting to remind Lily of her half-blood status.

Pansy scoffed and rolled her eyes, over the last few weeks she had really been struggling to hide her dislike for you. It didn’t bother you, Pansy was a bitch to put it quite plainly. You wondered how someone could be so venomous and be content with their life.

You began to gather your things to head to the library after breakfast. 6th year meant you and your classmates were inundated with homework from all your classes. You hoped you could get ahead of your work so you could keep Sunday free.

“It’s literally Saturday, why are you voluntarily doing work?” Daphne asked, her head barely visible from under her duvet cocoon.

“If I didn’t, who would you run to at 11pm on Sunday evening because you forgot to write your charms essay?”

“You are a true friend Y/N Y/L/N”

“Hey, Y/N,” Pansy hollered

You looked at Pansy and waited for her to speak

“If you see Draco at breakfast, you mind telling him I’ll be a bit late?”

“I don’t think he’ll care Pans” Daphne replied for you

“Oh but he will, we’re going to the library to do out potions work together”

You were about to frown but stopped yourself, Draco had promised you that the two of you would write your 3 feet of parchment together. Lily caught your eye knowing how you felt about the platinum blond.

“Sure thing Parkinson” You said, with a sickly sweet smile.

You turned on your heel and went down the stairs into the Slytherin common room, despite it being only 8.30 on a Saturday morning, the common room was densely populated with slytherin students of all ages. A small group of second years were sitting on the floor playing gobstones in your path. They looked up and paled, scrambling to move out of your way.

“Scaring second years now are we Y/L/N” The voice of your friend Blaise Zabini asked.

“Me? Of course not, Zabini, I’ll leave that to you and your friends” you replied waking out of the portrait hole

“It hurts me that you think so lowly of us” He feigned hurt as he began to walk alongside you

“I apologise for hurting your feelings”

“What would your father have to say, hearing you apologise to a half blood”

“Here’s me thinking you knew me better, you already know I don’t care for the purity of blood”

“Where are you headed to after breakfast”

“The library, I’ve got a ton of homework to do”

“Have you heard about the party the 7th years are planning?”

“Nope, not that I’m interested anyway”

“This is coming from the girl who managed to get half the quidditch team drunk off fire whiskey the last time we had a party”

“What can I say, academia looks better on me”

“I can’t say I disagree with that. You should still come, bring your friends along too, it’s been a while since we all got together.”

“I’ll see if Daphne and Lily want to come along.”

The two of you had reached the door of the Great Hall

“There you are Zabini, we’ve been waiting for ages” Draco yelled from across the room

You and Blaise walked to your normal spot on the Slytherin table. He took a seat and you stood behind the bench.

“By the way, Malfoy, Parkinson said she’ll be late. Have to do the potions essay you promised you’d do with me a bit later”

“Y/N I-”

You rolled your eyes and opted to grab some sliced of toast wrapped in some tissue and go straight to the library rather than listen to whatever excuse Draco had planned to spew out.

You settled yourself near the fireplace pulling your textbooks out and laying them around you. You managed to write your charms essay, aswell as your Defence Against the Dark Arts essay and some reading for Transfiguration. You looked up at the big clock in the library and noticed it was past two, your stomach rumbled, clearly upset at the measly breakfast of 2 slices of buttered toast and some water. You gathered all your books again and stuffed them back into your bag and headed to the kitchens. The house elves were well aware of what you preferred to eat for lunch and handed it to you wrapped in a gingham handkerchief, you settled yourself by the window eating your lunch enjoying the view over the grounds.

“Y/N”

You looked up to see the face of your academic rival.

“Hermione”

“Do you mind if I take a seat?”

You shook your head and she sat down next to you.

“I was wondering if you could help me”

“Wow the great Hermione Granger needs help? From me?”

“I- nevermind it was silly of me” She got up feeling flustered and began to walk away

“Lighten up, Granger, it was a joke”

“What would you do if you liked someone, but they had a girlfriend and probably don’t like you back?”

“You’ve finally admitted you like Weasley huh” You patted the window sill next to you, prompting her to sit down

“What? No! Ron-“

“You do know Lavender has been slipping him love potions right?”

“But that’s against the rules! She could get expelled for that”

“She doesn’t care Hermione, if I were you I’d slip a bezoar down Weasley’s throat and see what happens after that”

“How do you know? That she’s been making him drink love potions?”

“I saw her buying some in hogsmeade”

“Well thank you for your help”

“Can I ask why you thought I’d be the best person to come to for this advice?”

“Well to be quite frank, I don’t know myself. All my other friends are Ron’s friends too, I didn’t want them telling him anything. And we’ll you’ve been the kindest to me, and I would like to think despite everything you respect me. So thank you for your help” With that she got up and began to walk away

“Hey by the way, Granger, he’d be an idiot to turn you down”

Hermione flashed you a true genuine smile before returning to the Gryffindor common room.

You finished the remnants of your lunch and headed back to the dormitory. Daphne and Lily hadn’t left their spots on their beds.

“Who’s up for a party tonight?” You asked the both of them, a wide grin across your face.

After some further information from some 7th year girls, you, Daphne and Lily found yourselves standing outside the room of requirement at 9pm. Despite being a small, debaucherous get-together, in true Slytherin fashion the three of you were still impeccably dressed. You wore a thin silver satin blouse with a plunging neckline, a blouse he bought for you over the summer, along with some fitted black paper bag trousers and a pair of Chanel flats.

The door opened to reveal a room that looked exactly like the Slytherin common room only the table in front of the fire was covered in alcohol and snacks. Blaise, Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were sat in a small group off to the side. Draco’s head snapped up when he heard the door open and he looked as though his breath catched in his throat. You knew he was trying not to stare but it was like he couldn’t move his eyes off you. You’d be lying if you said this wasn’t the effect you wanted to have. Daphne ran off to a 6th year boy that she had been flirting with and you and Lily headed over to your friends.

“You made it!” Blaise exaclaimed getting up to hug you.

You saw dracos knuckles whiten even more as he gripped his butterbeer. You hugged Blaise back, after all, it was Draco who wanted to keep the two of you a secret. Blaise hugged Lily too and the two of you sat down. You made a point to sit directly opposite Draco, forcing Blaise to sit on the arm of the sofa with his arm resting on its back. A butterbeer had been forced into your hand which you sipped every once in a while whilst making conversation with your friends. You had noticed Pansy almost sticking to Draco’s side. She’d laugh overly loud at any small thing he said, even if it wasn’t funny, and failed to get Draco to dance with her numerous times.

After a while the 7th years announced the commencement of a drinking game. They placed an empty bottle on the floor and spun it, if it landed on you, you had to choose a truth or a dare, if you didnt want to do the option you selected, youd have to take a double shot of firewhiskey. You chose to sit it out, standing on the outside of the circle only a few steps away from Draco, who coincidentally also decided to sit out.

“I like the blouse” He commented, taking a swig of his butterbeer

“Thank you, it was a gift” You replied, folding your arms together to accentuate your cleavage.

“Would have preferred you wearing it with just the two of us. Goyle won’t stop staring at you.”

“Well if you offered to take me to a nicer place than a broom cupboard or the empty classroom on the fourth floor, then maybe I’d wear it”

“I was told you were talking to Granger today”

“And? Am I not allowed to speak to people?”

“Not that filthy mudblood”

“Does it really hurt your feelings that bad that she’s smarter than you despite being muggle born that the ONLY thing you can comment on is her blood status?”

“I don’t want you to be seen talking to her again”

“Newsflash, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not Parkinson, I won’t obey you like some lost dog.” And with that you moved further away from him leaning on a column in the corner of the room.

So far people had only chosen to spill truths, some choosing to take shots instead of their truths. Daphne and her little boyfriend had been dared to enjoy 7 minutes in heaven, made possible by a random broom cupboard supplied by the room of requirement, it had been more than seven minutes and you were sure you’d get a detailed play by play back in the dorms. The empty bottle of fire whiskey landed on Charlie, he joined hogwarts in 5th year after being in America for the last few years.

“Truth or dare Charles?” Blaise asked, rubbing his hands together

“Truth”

“Who do you think is the most beautiful girl in this room?”

“Oh that’s easy, Y/N”

The whole group turned to look at you. You could see from the corner of your eye that Draco had tensed up. He himself slowly turned his head to look at you

“I have to admit, Charlie, you have great taste. You’ll go far in this world” You said, smiling.

“I’ll go as far as you want me to”

This caused the whole group to laugh and return to their game. You checked the clock and saw that it was getting close to 1am. You tapped Lily’s shoulder and she got up.

“Leaving already girls?” Blaise asked from his spot infront of the fire

“It’s getting late, parties aren’t Y/N’s scene anymore anyway” Lily replied smoothing out her skirt

“I’ll walk you back to the dormitory, I’m rather bored here myself” Draco offered, finally getting free of Pansy

“No need, Lily and I are big girls, we can get ourselves back without Filch finding us.” You replied cooly

“I insist”

“No no, Draco. Stay, enjoy the festivities”

You and Lily snuck out of the room of requirement and returned to the dorms undetected.

“What was going on with you and Draco?” She asked while the two of you were getting ready for bed

“Nothing”

“It sounded like the two of you were having a tense conversation”

“You know how Draco can be, always trying to one up everyone”

“Did you hear about Pansy and Draco?” She asked once she was comfy in her bed.

“No” you put your hair brush back in the drawer and got under your own covers

“I heard from Marietta in the year above that Parkinson was bragging about how her and Draco went on a date today. Apparently he took her to the black lake for a picnic”

“Well good for them, I hope they’re happy”

“I know you like him but maybe now she’ll stop being such a raging bitch”

“Maybe, goodnight Lily”

“Goodnight Y/N”

You weren’t crazy, you knew Draco wasn’t stupid enough to even attempt to cheat on you. Your family was just as affluent and your father was just as influential as Lucius for him to know that a cheating scandal between two of the oldest pure blood lines would not turn out well for him. Yet it did nothing to stop the anger bubbling up inside you.

You and Draco began to get closer during your 5th year. You two studied together often and you both were prefects, made to patrol the corridors at night. It was inevitable for the two of you to strike up a bond. You didnt expect your bond to become so strong that an owl would end up dropping a letter on your bed one rainy summer afternoon, with a letter from Draco enclosed about how bored he was over the holiday. The two of you sent letters back and forth, he even floo’d into your bedroom when your parents were out. On the first hogsmeade trip of the year, he asked you to join him and he asked you to be his girlfriend. However, he wanted to keep your relationship a secret. He knew that people would talk and both of your parents would find out, it would lead to talks for the future, something he was not ready for. You saw where he was coming from and agreed, you just didn’t think it would end up like this. In the beginning he tried, he really did, he’d leave cute notes in your bag, he’d hold your hand under the table, save you a seat at dinner, even sneak you into his dormitory, but a few weeks ago, it all suddenly seemed to stop. But you were sick of it. You deserved to be treated better than you were being treated right now.

You awoke on Sunday feeling slightly less angry than you did when you went to sleep. Sunday’s were the day you and Draco would lock yourselves in an old empty classroom on the fourth floor and finally get to be yourselves. You went down to breakfast and sat in your usual seat, waiting for him to make his way down. You were half way through a bowl of cereal when you noticed him walk in with his boys, and Pansy. You dropped your spoon into your bowl causing milk to splash everywhere

“Merlin’s beard Y/N!” Daphne yelled, scooching to the side

You and Lily grabbed some napkins to clean up the small spillage.

“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite” You deadpanned

You got up and walked past draco, purposely bumping his shoulder on your way out. It hurt you more than it hurt him but you still had a point to make.

“Jeez Y/L/N, watch where youre-” Pansy Scoffed

“Oh fuck off pansy”

“Y/N!”

You ignored him and carried on walking out of the hall. You heard his footsteps behind you and he managed to catch up to you, grabbing you by the wrist.

“What is the matter with you?” He demanded

“Me? What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothings wrong with me you’re the one acting crazy”

“Firstly, I don’t like your tone. If you’re going to shout at me I refuse to listen to another word.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand what the issue is”

“My issue is YOU”

You ended up raising your voice to a volume too loud for Draco’s liking and he pulled you into a nearby storage cupboard.

“This is my problem draco, being forced to hide everything. Arguing in a fucking broom cupboard for fucks sake.” You sighed

“Y/N, you know how-“

“No, I am tired, Draco, sick and tired of hiding, of keeping secrets, of not being able to come and collapse next to you when I’m upset”

“You can still do that,”

“No I can’t, you always surrounded by one of your posse members. If it’s not Crabbe or Goyle then it’s fucking Parkinson. Did you know she’s going round telling everyone you took her to the black lake for a picnic?”

“She said what? I didn’t even see her yesterday, Blaise and I went to the quidditch pitch after breakfast.” He had a face of visible disgust on his face at the thought of people thinking him and Pansy were a thing.

“Well yeah now the whole school thinks you’re going out with Parkinson and you’re not going to say anything to stop those rumours”

“You know why, princess”

“Yeah you don’t want to think about the future. But if thinking about a future with me really scares you so much Draco, why are you still with me? Surely if you just kept yourself single, you’d have no future to worry about and no girlfriend breathing down your neck”

“You know that’s not what I mean”

“Then what do you mean? Because -” you cut him off, you were starting to get annoyed and he could sense it

“If you stopped interrupting me, I’d be able to explain my thoughts” He said calmly, placing both his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him in the eye.

“Speak then”

“Yes I don’t want to think about my future. I don’t want to think about what ministry career I’ll be forced into to keep up my family’s reputation, who I’ll be forced to call my friend for the sake of appearances, what I need to name my first born child. I don’t want to think about all the skeletons in the Malfoy family wardrobe that I’ve yet to discover. This, me and you, it’s so innocent, so pure. You get me, you see me for more than my family name. And I want to protect this. I don’t want our parents getting involved and tainting what we have.”

“It’s the only way we-”

“Interrupt me once more and I’ll hex you.”

You closed your mouth and decided to listen for just a short while more.

“However, if the key to your happiness, and the future of our relationship, is for everyone, including our parents, to find out about us. Then I will walk straight into that hall and stand on the table and announce it to the whole school.”

“You really mean that?”

He nodded

“So if your father sent you an owl tomorrow that says we have to get married in the summer...” you linked your wrists together behind his neck, swaying slightly as you looked up at him

“I’ll marry you. I would sacrifice my own life if it meant I could see you smile.”

“Bit dramatic there, Malfoy” you laughed

“You taught me well, Y/L/N”

“I’d rather you didn’t embarrass the both of us by getting up on the table. You can hold my hand though.”

“Anything for the Slytherin princess.”

You smiled and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of the broom closet. Draco took your hand and held it firmly in his as you both walked into the great hall.

He started to think out loud about his breakfast but you watched for the reactions of your peers as you made your way to your table, no one was really shocked, most of them looked up and smiled excitedly before chattering to their friends, you walked past the gryffindor table and heard the words ‘bet’ and ‘owe’ get thrown about. Once you got to your friends Draco waited for you to sit down, right next to Pansy, before sitting on your other side with his arm around your waist.

“Y/L/N and Malfoy? I never saw that one coming” Blaise laughed, the sarcasm evident in his voice.

“Well get used to it, Zabini, cause you’ll be seeing it a whole lot more” You responded, moving closer into Draco’s lap.

Long gone were the days of hiding, as well as the days of Pansy Parkinson thinking she could steal your man.

#draco malfoy #draco #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy reader insert #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x you #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagines #hogwarts imagines #draco fluff #hp #hp imagines

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crystallic-moon · 3 years

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I’m reading Blood Like Magic so here’s my live comments

There will 100% be spoilers

Is she sitting in a pool of blood?

A lot of blood.

Ok but the whole Voya not being able to make a decision thing is exactly like me.

Fuck Uncle Cathius.

“And so humble” I LOVE KEIS BEING ABLE TO HEAR HER THOUGHTS

Wait- Alex’s bleeding came from her eyes and ears, but it was said that that’s how it is for the guys since they don’t have a period. Soo.. is Alex trans?

ALEX IS TRANS I LOVE THE REPRESENTATION

Aww i love what Voya’s mom said to her when Voya was becoming insecure about her hips.

Luc may be mean but he sounds hot ;-;

Holy shit- Mama Jova’s scars— my heart hurts for what she had to go through

Holy shit I think we’re watching how Mama Jova died

The year 2049, I’d be 44 years old in this story

Nooo Eden 🥺

Ok but maybe Mama Jova didn’t mean kill him? But also I get why she’d want bloodshed because of the way she died...

Voya just exposed Luc :0

Omg why am I starting to like Luc

I’m a Luc simp but I shouldn’t be

I suck at remembering to write in this. This whole mystery with Auntie Elaine is confusing.

I also loved that scene at the Night Market where Luc gave her a temporary tattoo. It felt like their first real raw bonding moment.

I wonder if Lucs secretly a witch. Like what if he is but he doesn’t know about it.

Aww Luc called over Voya while he was workinggg she’s growing on him.

LMAO DENNIS BEING LIKE HOW TF DID U GET LIC TO TALK TO YOU

Priya holding Edens hand hurts because she’s probably scared it may be the last time she might get to.

AHAH- LUCS LIKE U SURE UR MOM WOULD LET U HAVE A BOY IN UR ROOM, AND VOYA FREEZES AND HES LIKE DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT DID U

Why was that cute omg

Oh they’re definitely starting to like each other

*clears throat* Lucs letting her get into his personal space

Justin did something to Elaine I know it.

I think Elaine had something to do with Justin discovering the genetic modification thing.

I like Luc and Alex kinda bonding over both being trans.

Are they really talking about her when they know she’s in the house or near it?? Y’all are witches I’d assume you’d be a bit smarter about this.

Omg he went after her crying, my heart.

HE OFFERED TO HUG HER

AWW HES SO AWKWARD IT HURTS

Dammit she has to kill him.

“‘I think you make him flustered.’” MHM YES SHE DOES

I feel so bad for Alex she didn’t deserve to find out that way.

I don’t know if I love or hate that Voya said yes to dinner.

“Every day, more and more cracks in our family get exposed” - my theory is that the whole ‘destroy your first love’ thing is about her family. Voya’s family is her first love and the has to destroy its secrets.

Can we not kill Luc please

Oh shit she killed Juras-

Oh he survived

*cough* they definitely like each other

Man, fuck Justin.

YES GO BE SPONTANEOUS

Peptalkpeptalkpeptalk

“If I give it back, what excuse will I have to keep inviting you places to return it?” STOP HES SO CUTE

I really love the representation of both Luc and Alex being trans. And Keisha being a lesbian.

He’s definitely given her profile more than a ‘glance’

I know I’ve said it before. And it’s probably getting repetitive. But I love the trans representation in Luc.

I feel like Luc is being more soft with Voya, when Voya was like examining his body cuz he told her about how often he eats, he awkwardly was like could u not examine my body. But like with other ppl I feel like he wouldn’t been more snappy with it, cuz as we’ve seen he’s not afraid to be a little mean.

Honestly I get Lucs thing about speaking Spanish to his family and being told he has an accent every time. Happens to me a lot, it’s irritating but I try.

Yes u like him and he likes u it’s so obvious now kiss.

THEY KISSED OMG

They are so adorable please don’t make her kill him.

I am so worried about her watching this.

JOHAN OMG

stop the man was wipping them like how Mama Jova died is that meant to be a sign???

Luc came to see her???

Okay okay but how tf is she supposed to explain to Luc that she got whipped by a magical man or whatever that wat because she wanted to watch a ritual so she could prepare to kill him?? - not even the killing him part, how is she supposed to explain the some magic dude whipped me part?!

No it’s a vision girl don’t believe it.

ITS A VISION STOP IT.

Omg can this girl catch a break she just got badly injured and almost died she doesn’t need this.

WAIT LUC WAS ACTUALLY THERE

WAIT THE THING SHE SAID IN HER VISION DID SHE SAY THEM OUTLOUD?!

CUZ IF SHE DID SHE MENTIONED HURTING JURAS SO LUC WOULD KNOW SHE DID SOMETHING TO JURAS.

NOOOO

I’m upset.

Watching Voya and her dad bind is bittersweet cuz I know he still hurt her despite this bonding moment.

Mama Jova better have a good ass lesson to teach Voya with this task cuz girl is going through it.

I want to see Luc again.

I am so anxious to keep reading cuz I genuinely don’t know what’s going to happen.

I feel like Lucs gonna show up to her cooking competition especially since he can easily find her location.

I WAS RIGHT HE SHOWED UP

Fuck Justin man.

At least he’s the successor

Ok I get Voya wanting to be honest but why would admit that he still considering killing him ;-; for all you know he could be recording this and take it to the cops.

“Are you breaking up with me?” STOP STOP RIGHT NOW

I hate that he blocked her but like -he has a very very valid reason. Surprised he didn’t get a whole restraining order.

Wait wait since Voya broke the circle when they were casting the spell to protect caribana that means there will be no protection and that has to mean something??

I’m betting that something bads gonna happen at the Caribana

I feel like her mom told her until to stay until they got back for a good reason

YAY SHE PASSED BUT WAT DID SHE ASK FOR

Omg I thought Voya got shot—

Ok yes technically Voyas partially to blame for breaking the circle but it’s not entirely her fault

No no no u could’ve just gotten rid of her internship or something but trap her in the house forever? Sorry girl I wouldn’t forgive u either.

I like that Lucs back but it hurts

Holy shit things have gone very south

Ofc he was gonna trap u in glass cage with Eden what did u expect Luc ;-;

Mf I swear to fucking god if u kill granny

Aww Luc and Voyas little moment through the glass. I can tell he feels guilty and still loves her...

He’s still trying to protect her.

Oh shit he’s known since before Luc and Voya even met

They’re not a legitimate genetic match-

THEY STILL FELL FOR EACH OTHER WHO CARES.

I like Voyas thing about him thinking what he had with Elaine was love, because wat they had wasn’t love if he expected her to do anything he asked just because she loved him.

Granny to the rescue

Granny is not to the rescue.

Yes Luc he’s a lying cheat.

Please I thought Luc was destined to die, not Granny 🥺

“Who will by my grandma is she’s gone?” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Does it also not matter that I can’t even have a conversation with my parents without arguing? That I’ve forgotten how to speak my own language because you told me it wasn’t important? If the outcome of good, are the consequences irrelevant?” STOP LUC MY BABY DOESNT DESERVE THIS.

Stop that actually hurts cuz Luc sees how great of a relationship Voya has with her family and he’s just there without a relationship with them besides shared genes.

Yes Luc argue with the asshole.

Even tho u were once an asshole.

Edennn 🥺

Omg u love Luc fighting for them

Like I love how Luc fought for Justin to let Granny hug her granddaughter goodbye. It shows he cares and how this really does hurt him especially the way Voya described him wiping away his tears and screaming.

“Granny puts Eden back down on the chair and pauses to stare at Luc. ‘Thank you. ‘Please don’t,’ Luc croaks. ‘Too bad. I already thanked you.’” - Luc probably feels like this is his fault, that’s why he doesn’t want Granny to thank him.

:0 granny was the one who saved Luc from Voya stabbing him in her vision.

I like that Granny respected Voyas wishes of not killing him by saving him herself.

Keis is eternally trapped in the house for nothing.

Seriously.

I mean I’m glad Eden was saved by that but still.

“Why would you tell me this now? Why would you make me sparked as shit with you right as your about to die?” 🥺

She regrets not trusting Voya 🥺

AWW STOP “That means you can’t die. You have to make it up to me. Borrow someone else’s gift. Fix this.”

Granny was always planning making Voya the matriarch.

STOP SHE WONT GET TO BE A MAMA

Omg omg omg it’s Auntie Elaine.

Wait that’s so smart, turning him into the prototype

Omg her killing his body’s was intense—

“Why couldn’t you listen to me? Why couldn’t you find another way?” Luc still cared about Justin but of course he did, he wasn’t the best but it’s still the man who basically raised him.

Aww he tried to save Eden regardless

Omg she almost collapsed

Oh shit. “It’s the Luc I imagined once he knew the truth. That hateful twist to his mouth and narrowing of his eyes.” He hates her.

Wait that’s so sad, him only having the bionic lenses to remember Justin by.

“‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. But don’t forget that we both lost someone today.’ Luc shakes his head. ‘You lost someone. I lost everyone.’” - Stopp that’s so sad. Voya lost her granny but she still has her family, but Luc doesn’t have anyone else. He’s absolutely done with Voya, he doesn’t have any other friends, his sponsee siblings seem to hate him, and he argues with his family. Justin was all he had and now that’s gone too...

Sorry I’m mad a Voya too for trapping Keis in the house.

AWW LUC CHANGED THE CHROMOSOME ID THING

“Alex said that now her ID brings up XX the way it should.” I LOVE IT

“I like to think it’s because he’s better than that.” I think he hasn’t threatened or punished them for what happened because deep down he still wants to protect Voya and he’s aware they did it to save themselves and their family.

Woahhh Justina dads death

“The ancestors must love irony.” 💀

I guess she sort of did listen to Luc cuz she’s interning at Roti Roti for Johan.

I hate that Granny’s gone :(

Voyas showing Rena, Lauren’s mom, how she died 🥺

Wait I love that.

“I bring the intent. They bring the blood. We both pay for the gift of magic.”

This was a good book.

I loved the different genres blended together. I loved the magic side of it, it’s witches, and how they had this whole system with a matriarch, and a whole community. I loved the sci fi parts, with the genetic modification and this huge new company NuGene. I loved loved loved the romance between Voya and Luc and how they didn’t get their traditional happy ever after, and how they also weren’t a legit genetic match but they still fell for each other. And I loved the mystery side with figuring out who Mama Elaine was and what important role she played.

I’ll admit the story felt slow in the beginning and I almost decided to turn around and return it for another book but I’m so glad I didn’t because it was a good and eye catching book. But it does upset me and Keis really got the short end of the stick, she spent the whole book working to get a NuGene internship only to end up trapped in the house by the person who pushed her to get the internship.

This was a good book tho I do recommend.

Also Luc never returned Voyas food container.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Finished July 15, 2021 at 2pm

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trans-son-of-perdition · 4 years

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Nearly done with my two weeks back here in Utah and I have some notes:

-This was the best Sunday of the two, given church didn't happen because everyone forgot and when mom said we should, my sister complained she didn't want to so it never happened

-I was only pressured to join scripture reading once, and I politely refused but said I would be quiet and respect them.

-Mom listened to my Anti-Wicca rant and my multiple Norse legends rants with my tbm sister ((who studys them because of ancestory reasons apparently? )) and since then has sent me pagan/witch jokes and memes

-On that note, my sister once again made it very clear- and mind you, this is the tbm sister who just came home from her mission- that she doesn't deny the existence of the Norse gods and actually refers to them as the gods of our family's ancestors?

-Baby brother accidentally found an article comparing Mormonism to the BITE model and I actively watched him trying to reason with it and shelving it, so that's gonna be interesting to see follow-ups on.

-Former YW leader asked me what I want to do for a career and then gave a tired sigh when I said Game Design before saying she didnt know what she expected given I spent every Sunday working on game concepts and mapping out new ideas and writing shit.

-Blasted Midnight by Tyler Glenn in the empty chapel I grew up having sacrament meeting in, danced to it too

-Found out my best friend's entire family left the church recently and we all had drinks and hung out

-Remembered the biggest downside to sleeping in the family room: Every Sunday I'm woken up to Music and the Spoken Word which by the way, wow I am proud of myself for that like. I've been forced to listen through old Music and the Spoken Word recordings for fucking hours and that shit invades dreams like nothing else, and I wasn't triggered by it so.

-I, a gay apostate trans male, was not just a pallbearer for my father but was put in front of both my baby brother and my uncle, at the head of the casket. Me. And I'm listed as my chosen name in the program too like. Holy fuck. I've never heard of any AFABs as pallbearers at least in Mormon funerals, at least not traditionally in my family. I'm still shocked by that.

Still here for ~36 hours so who knows what'll happen but at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

#i speak #exmormon #exmo #apostake #pagan #funeral tw

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convervative-blog · 5 years

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essay preparation, Conservative Judaism: Our Ancestors To Our Descendants by Elliot M. Dorff

alright buds gonna go thru this book, theres chapters and then like essay questions, so im here reading the chapters then answering the essay questions. im fucken ignorant as shit so this is all my stupid opinions that im still developing and it might change as i learn more idk. enjoy, lots of surprise-zionism in here skip if thats not ur thing

I. yes services start early morning we do prelims then shacharit torah & musaf then kiddush congregants range in ages from young to elderly (predominantly older tho) and in observance from super frum (ok like 5 of us lol) to basically secular & very pluralistic no one cares, very close-knit, "maritime personality disorder" very evident, love it

II. never studied at yeshiva or went to hebrew school, looking into doing so (u know when), actually the reason i picked up this book, im inherently drawn to like childrens resources (this is a highschool level book but u get it) bc as an adult i missed out on jewish child education, so im drawn to childrens resources to "learn from the start" so to speak

III. parents are gentiles, no jewish identity really, grandma resolutely denied being a jew though got 'mistaken' for one almost daily due to last name and appearance, 'corrected' people constantly, got bullied for it (i say grandma but its still patrilineal dont @ me), she didnt know anything about judaism and was frequently antisemitic and firmly catholic

IV. conservative judaism means that halachic rules are binding but that they should and must be interpreted via the lens of the society in which we live, in order to reduce suffering and increase overall observance (e.g. women, lgbt+, accessibility), conservative judaism also means an affordance of leniency in individualistic expressions of obligatory mitzvot

V. emancipation occurred from 1776-1880, within western europe (france holland england) during the rise of nationalism jews were considered naturalized citizens of their respective countries & not foreign outliers, allowed to serve in army etc but had negative impact bc jews at the time began to lose their jewish identity whilst adopting goyische practices (ref. assimilation)

VI. absolutely and i fully intend on making aliyah, learning and speaking hebrew is nourishing for my soul, its an internal secret of mine that “magneto was right” u know, “does mainstreaming work?” and like, i say this not bc i believe jews should be separate (or even that jews should immigrate to israel) but in the interest of jewish protection and continuation, is mainstreaming going to contribute to jewish protection and continuation? mainstreaming needs to include existence. u cant mainstream two groups if one group is only accepted when they dont exist as themselves. “jews and gentiles can exist together! but u better show up to work on yom kippur.” jews deserve self-determination and to have the opportunity to live in their homeland which is the only safe place on earth for jews to publicly and fully express their judaism, to go to a school where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a synagogue where they can safely and publicly express their judaism, to go to a job where they can safely and publicly express their judaism. u tell me where that is, is it where u live? thats the downfall of mainstreaming, bc sure jews can assimilate but what u see is that ppl who arent jews will only interact with them if they renounce their judaism. sure u want to say jews and goyim living side by side respecting one anothers practices is the ideal, absolutely im "pro mainstreaming" for those ideals, but be practical! that shit aint never gonna happen, dont sacrifice yourself and ur family and ur friends for an academic concept that has never manifested itself in reality

VII. the advent of secularism! secularism is super appealing. movies! tv! books! music. mixed dancing as it were. all the things considered heretical bc they could curse g-d, but appealing on a neurological level. who doesnt wanna sit down and binge drop dead diva for 9 hours, its not me buds. so ofc many orthodox peeps would be drawn to it, but in the interest of maintaining their practices and beliefs, new movements would necessarily sprout up in response

VIII. assimilation occurred bc the advent of secularism drew alot of observant jews away from their practices and subsequently their identities, it was more appealing to be a citizen (a "german" not a "jew") bc it afforded them rights and privileges and goys would interact w them on an equal level, as long as they didnt express being jewish too much, or used their jewishness in a self-deprecating kind of way (alot of jewish comics got famous like this, ppl love listening to jews self-deprecate and in a downward shifting economy u gotta get it where u can get it)

IX. the differences between halacha in orthodox judaism and reform judaism? oh boy well today, because reform judaism looked totally different in the 1800s guys (most american jews were reform, which is why american jewish culture was so radically separate from european jewish culture and far more secular), but at the core orthodoxy believes halacha as it was written and interpreted (and as it continues to be interpreted and debated) is binding, no ifs ands or buts. u can find reasons why things can and cant be done but its always within the established halacha. reform judaism doesnt consider halacha binding but essentially “refers” to it as they develop their individual practices (”im a woman but im not gonna cover my hair if i get married bc blah blah blah” might be a reform opinion, its deciding not to follow the law, but its still referencing the law) and is exponentially more concerned with the idea of jewish peoplehood, identity, nationality, history, outside the world of torah. (yes? no? this is all shit i was spoonfed by 1 guy so like?)

X. im writing a fucken essay on this man. need to chill out and condense. get my opinions in order. orthodoxy is appealing bc most ppl will believe the same shit u do and put the same weight on it, conservatism is more pluralistic/individualistic, definitely more secular, even tho i wholeheartedly agree with this & practice it in my life, the art of letting people do their own shit without judging them, the art of welcoming ppl into ur space despite their diverging belief systems, just: sometimes u can feel kind of silly when u know ppl probably dont take as literal interpretations as u do. strengths of reform individualism, pluralism, activism, diversity, influx of new opinions/thoughts, ppl talk to me about this i know very little about reform judaism dont get mad at me pls. weaknesses uhhhhhh lol am i gonna go there on tumblr.com 2day... weaknesses i guess would be that its not taken as seriously by outsiders? is that acceptable/right?

endin here for now!

#op #orthodox #reform #conservative judaism #conversion #judaism #theology #israel #zionism

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louiecat118 · 5 years

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Haha raging feminst back again.

Today a friend told me at gsa that he thought men were more discriminated against than women today. He told me that he thought feminists should fight for mens rights as well. He threw all the usual stuff at me. And i can usually stay calm. I can usually be collected. I was telling him facts statistics, keeping it impersonal. The way you have to to get any respect in debates of this type. But i could feel myself getting angry. And as we know, you cannot get angry when debating. I was using all the facts, all the statistics and he was ignoring them. Now, you dont know me but if you did you would know i just cant deal with people who are being purposefully ignorant. I snapped like a good ginger biscuit. I snapped so so much. I shouted at him

'stop interupting me'

And oh sweet Jesus had he been inturupting me. I couldnt even finnish a sentance without him talking over me with ignorance. Protesting that 'women are capable of violence too' and 'men get abused' and 'theres a problem with men having their feelings ignored and as a result a suicide epidemic and that should be a feminist issue'

And some of those are valid points, but i needed him to understand why they werent feminist issues. So hell yeah i snapped. I shouted to get him to listen, and then i explained. I told him that although women are capable of rape they commit 0.1 percent of them. And that although they are capable of violence 80 percent of it is perpetrated by men. And that even though men are abused by women 90 percent of reported abuse is just sexist bullshit, where they class emotional abuse as things such as not having a meal on the table when they got home. I told him that, by saying men were more discriminated against, was invalidating the experiences of all the girls in africa who were attacked for their gender. And i told him that he didnt know the experience of every women on the planet.

And do you know what he did? He walked out of the room. I didnt even get to finnish. If he cant interupt he's leaving. And let me tell you, i wanted to cry. Of course i got pulled into the teachers office later and i had to explain to him why i didnt want to have men in my feminism. I told him i fought for women for my little sister. And i told him it was because my four year old sister was followed home when it was just me walking with her by some 50+ year old men and i dont want those men protected in a movement that is meant to protect her. I dont want to have to protect those men.

I didnt say anything about myself. There are some things you dont want people to know. I dont tell him the things we were debating are my reality. I dont tell him that about all the times i was catcalled. That the fist time it happened was when i was ten and walking home. I dont tell him that i still remember when i was catcalled after a taylor swift concert. That it was one of the best evenings of my life and after that i was terrified. I dont tell him that whenever i think of that night now it's laced with fear. I dont tell him that i had men threatening to rape me when i was eleven. I dont tell him that i first had a guy grab my tits when i was twelve and that i still panic walking down that road now. I dont tell him that i shaved my head so men would stop shouting at me in the street and that it didnt work. I dont tell him that i always check my bed before i go to sleep so i know that i wont be a girl from the countless stories where a man hides in there room until they go to sleep and then rape them. I dont tell him that this thing that is a fun debate to him is my reality. That the cuts on my palms are from self harm but from where they bled afer i clutched my fist around my keys when i was followed. I dont tell him that i have live this reality he debates, every fucking day of my life. I dont get to go home and escape, it is my life it is a part of me. And when i cried today after losing that argument (because i did lose) it wasnt because i lost that argument. It was because of the life i lost because of how i was born; i cried for my sister and the broken life she will lead; i cried for the girls in africa growing up not knowing any better; i cried for my mum and my grandma and all my ancestors and the life of slavery to their husbands they led. I cried for them, i remembered them and i do not forget. I will not fight for their oppressors. I will fight for for them and everything they could not achieve . They do not have a remberance day, so we will just have to remember them everyday.

Fight for your sisters. Dont let our oppressors win.

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officiallenzo · 4 years

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Broken staff

Lenzo

Table of Contents chapter 1 birth chapter 2 growing chapter 3 death

Section 4

Friday

At kelly family they woke before dawn to do cultural rituals

Uncles woke whole family and other relatives from far only family especially elders grannies grandfathers in order both came they know what to do

Elders spoke to the head of the house MR.Kelly to start the processes step by step

Elders:son you were taught how to do this properly ask if you dont understand as you already know mistakes will be costly to us to you to our child certainly next generations , so son make sure everything go according to customs we did well , it is now your turn to correctly do this.

Mr kelly: elders with all do respect im not free i have something to clear out of my chest i keep getting similar dream since last week after asking guidance from our great ancestors i did it correctly same night i had dream i even told uncles they said is disaster ahead in my daughter's marriage i did not take it seriously but

Now i see this dream might mean something and i apologize for doubting..(interupted) what is wrong now?

Elders granny: this marriage is not approved that boy is irresponsible he is spoiled brat does not care much about human life and feelings i only see graves ,going ahead with this will cost life.....(ciara's mother interupted the elder)

Mother: dont do this to my daughter gran why are you and uncles saying disasters as if is true ,just stop it gran

Kelly Uncles: child you know granny never got any prophecy and prediction wrong to be honest i dont feel good about that boy dont speak to your elders like this never ever do that!!!

Son why are you allowing your wife to disrespect us like this?

Ciara's mother: dont spoi..(interupted harshly)

Mr kelly: mommy stop it this is not the time stop it apologize now before we start!

Mother: im sorry is just that my daughter is happy she's so happy dont ruin it

Granny: daughter we are the only most important people you got in this life your daughter is our daughter you belong to us show at least little respect to your husband and i i want you all to hear me all of you my time is up lets continue sun will rise soon lets put aside any grudges this is my important ritual i want you all to hold each other no disagrements you my daughter ciara ,ancestors dont approve this union i love you i cant lie -please no more talks ( with low tone GREAT GREAT ANCESTORS from father to mother side i summon you all to come join us now we are all here because of your daughter ciara she will be leaving but i heard you our great ancestors they dont listen they are blind sometimes you have to let curious cat do whatever and get hurt even though this is matter of life and death but they have to remember im guided by you is not my own interpretations still they're stubborn let them

Experience how ignorance can dearly harm i dont want to fight with my children i love them equaly may you guide them and show them right way accept me with open arms i did what i was expected to do is up to them now may they all get fair shares may the clan name continue for generations i thank you all here is your son the head of this house hear him out) son you may say something.

Mr kelly: i thank god and my ancestors show us the way i want whats best for my daughter may you be with her, mother say something

Mother: my daughter deserves a break she is still pure let her make mistakes and learn from them thats all

Uncles:forgive us

Ciara: let me talk guys im not virgin i did sleep with another guy back in college (interupted)

Mother: dont joke we are in the middle of something serious

Ciara: im not lying i didnt tell you because i know how you would react im sorry all of you elders

Granny: time is up we are done(pouring traditional beer and snuff and burning herbs ) great ancestors i thank you all i dont complain they will remember my words , YOUR WORDS.

Uncles: elders thank you we may leave and slaughter goat lets all get up and prepare ourselves we are done.

Mr kelly:i should give thanks

Mother:why all this conflicts ?

Granny:i hope you live to witness it all because is going to happen

Uncles:forgive us ancestors

Just before sun rise

They left did what they needed to do

mother was moody it was like funeral

Then eve came the inlaws arrived

Kelly elders mostly grans were not so happy but they had to smile because of ciara and her mother

Inlaws ate and some had their own food and some went to buy because of their status and class

Everything at kellys was perfect and sorted.

Then at Shaws

They were finishing up, saturday they'll held it at the kellys

then next at the

Shaws on sunday

🤭«

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