#John's abusive father | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wormieapple · 2 months

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please understand that i will never and can never condone John Winchester’s actions but some of y’all really don’t understand what “he did the best he could” means.

he neglected and at the very least emotionally abused his kids, and there’s a pretty good argument that he might’ve physically abused them as well. he isolated them, prevented them from forming any lasting relationships outside of immediate family, left them alone for days if not weeks on end with firearms and very little food. And that’s not even the half of it. and everything he did was a manifestation of grief and drive to protect his family. which does not in the slightest justify how he treated sam and dean, but it does lay out his morals and motives pretty clearly.

He loves his kids, he really does. and while struggling to deal with his own trauma he was doing everything he could in his mind to keep them safe. but that doesn’t make his best enough, not by a long shot. that doesn’t even make his best efforts good efforts. at the end of the day he abused his kids and royally fucked up their ability to cope with their own grief and trauma in ways that i cannot touch with a 10ft pole rn or i’ll be writing 57 essays right here and now.

and again i hate john just as much as the next person but he did not set out to abuse his kids. he didn’t have nefarious intentions when it came to how he raised his kids. he was a good person who turned into an abusive asshole due to grief, paranoia, and alcoholism. and it makes perfect sense that sam and dean still love him even if they recognize the damage he did to them. because they also know how hard their dad tried, and they’ve said as much several times. and i get it cause that’s how i grew up. my dad did everything he could despite his grief, despite his depression, despite working 14 hour days in poverty and homelessness, and he still neglected and emotionally abused me. not because he was a bad person, but because he had no tools to deal with everything he was going through. and his best wasn’t enough, his best failed me. and i still love my dad cause not every memory was bad, and he does truly love me and my siblings. And i’m lucky in a way that sam and dean never were because my dad recognized where he failed us, owned up to what he did and tries everyday to repair the damage he did.

I have closure, and that’s something sam and dean could never really have. but they do have the clusterfuck of emotions that is he tried his best and it wasn’t enough.

#one last one from the drafts #yall are seriously missing the reason y sam and dean’s relationship to their dad is so devastating by only saying fuck john winchester #and it shows #john wasn’t a monster he was a person and if u don’t recognize that via demonizing him u run a genuine risk of becoming the kind of person-#he was. because that’s exactly how john thought of his own father and how he treated the boys stems directly from that.#cw abuse #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #john winchester

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scintillatingshortgirl19 · 4 months

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i am begging one single person in this entire show to consider, for perhaps one single second, THE POSSIBILITY THAT THERE IS A REASON HOUSE HATES HIS DAD THIS MUCH

#everyone is so dreadfully shocked and confused by him not wanting to go to his own father's funeral #but not no one makes any real effort to find out why #and that's not to say house would actually talk about it #(though tbh he might if someone asked in a genuinely nonjudgmental way. and he does tell wilson a couple of things.)#but either way it just feels like everyone is assuming #that house is just being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole #and it has occurred to no one that house's late father could possibly be at fault for his son not wanting to attend his funeral #i just. it would be nice if someone would consider the notion #that a person not wanting to be at their parent's funeral might have a valid reason for that #(like abuse. or something)#anyway this was a good episode #i'm always up for for daddy issues and hilson road trips #(i am considerably less up for forcing abuse survivors to honor their dead abusers)#house md #house season 5 #house 5x4 #op #john house

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s0fter-sin · 5 months

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reverse verse where soap takes on the mask instead of ghost. he wears his red skull mask so you can see the lower half of his face and his chin scar extends along his whole jaw to look like exposed teeth

#his chin scar is so gnarly and i think we gloss over it just a little too much #i like reverse verses but i think they can change just a little too much #like i wouldnt have soap act like ghost #if anything id have him act the same just more unhinged #hes still extroverted and will talk to people but people find him very unnerving #theres just this edge to everything he says and does that lets you know just bc hes being civil doesnt mean he wont rip your throat out #with his teeth #and hes just brutal in the field #preferring hand to hand wanting to get up close and bloody #very berkeresque where other soldiers learn not to go near him or interrupt him bc he cant always differentiate friend from foe #except for one deadpan brit who had a soldier’s eyes long before he ever joined the military #dour and depressing until he cracks a messed up joke and everyones shovked when they hear a scottish voice laugh #just soap who goes through roba and simon whos still ghost after living through his fathers abuse #just slightly less self isolating since he still has his family #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #we’re a team. ghost team

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ottiliere · 1 year

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you know I was thinking last night as I rewatched Being John Malkovich, a movie which always reminds me of dirk, about how he actually would've started out using somethingawful just due to timeline of his universe. the very first time he spent money on the internet was to unban his account

#dirk strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #he stole credit card information to do so #lucy art #self harm #sorry we haven't started the mspfas detailing dirks entire life saga with the dozens of hours we've talked about him yet including #abandoning slick to elope with his adopted son after months of antagonizing and hating him for being a spineless wimpy loser #with whom a more sincere relationship began in earnest through a polemic argument regarding being john malkovich #because up until that point he has only seen karkat in accompaniment to slick kk’s abusive father figure that dirk is also kind of dating so #he doesn’t see him being even remotely kind of a person up until this point like they actually square off over it and it’s a bonding #experience because dirk realizes karkat is very capable of getting a legitimate rise out of him in a way that is SHOCKINGLY a little fun and #enjoyable. and then with the help of karkat's inquisitve and sensitive eyes realizes he’s just retraumatizing himself and then they run away #and slick dies sonless alone bitter and angry from lung cancer he got from droog’s secondhand smoke

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professuntothelord · 2 months

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i think there's a danger in interpreting john winchester's actions under the false dichotomy of the "good abuser" and the "bad abuser." with the good abuser being driven by love, but led wayward by personal trauma or experience, while the bad abuser is driven by hatred, stymied by little as they are simply bad; simply hateful. that's not how abuse works. abusers are, as all humans are, shaped by experience and a product of their life on earth. now that abuse can be expressed in a myriad of ways, to varying extremes, and led by a multitude of motives. this can subsequently lead to a spectrum of variable impact on the abused. you can't really dichotomize abuse and its different forms. it's likely a more illuminating approach to understand abuse for its individual cases, its individual motives. false dichotomies imply a narrative that is much, much simpler than abuse could ever be

#i see a lot of john isnt that bad a father bc he did xyz out of love was stymied by his trauma did the best he could with what he had #which makes him unlike the other abuser type that is Bad Hateful and has no good reason to be etc etc #this fictional case of abuse is still complex; it is still dangerous to reduce it to a false dichotomy #to posit that abusers have 2 camps and everyone fits into one or the other; led by love/led by hate; influenced by trauma/born bad etc #abuse is much more variable than that #and overarching all of it is the fact that it IS abuse #motives and expressions thereof are vital; but to create a false dichotomy that implies a better or healthier abuse versus a worse and #irredeemable abuse will inherently weaken an argument #spn thoughts

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davinaclaires · 2 years

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DRAKE RODGER as JOHN WINCHESTER

THE WINCHESTERS (2022- )

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private-witt · 1 year

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#jamie dutton #yellowstone #yellowstonetv #tv #i've been watching yellowstone for the past few weeks and jamie is my fav #john always guilt-trip him by saying he was a good father but jamie's reaction clearly show signs of abuse #at this point i don't really care what happens next but i want john and beth to lose and come down from their pedestal #i can't stand them

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hoffstrap-yuri · 2 months

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Saw blorbos yay!! For Lawrence and Mandy

1. Scars (not counting the scars from their games)

2. 3 comfort items

3. A memory they’ve blocked out (again maybe smth pre-games cause these guys need therapy so badly)

Alright, first for Lawrence 1. Scars:

I see Lawrence having a couple of normal scars from running around as a kid and accidentally throwing himself into bushes when he was playing too hard. His deepest scar though is the gash on his shoulder that he got when he fell out of a tree as a teenager

2. 3 Comfort Items

One of Diana's socks he kept after she outgrew it when she was a toddler. He likes to run his fingers over it at his desk in the workshop.

A retractable fountain pen that Amanda got for him after he became an apprentice. Uses it more at the hospital than anywhere else.

His wedding ring. Even though him and Alison are done it makes a useful distraction when he's looking over blueprints for traps that don't make sense to him. When he plays with the ring it clears his mind enough that he can see John's visions for the games.

3. A Memory that he's blocked out

Probably his first date with Alison. He was still a med student at the time and horribly rusty at flirting that he thought it better just to forget that night in its entirety and just say that their second date was their real first date.

Amanda:

Scars:

Other than the self-harm scars, I think Amanda would have a leftover mark on the palm of her hand from when she was little and tried to make dinner for herself when she was about six and her dad wouldn't make her anything. It's not noticeable unless you're really up in her business but there's a slight sheen over that piece of skin compared to the rest of her hand.

2. 3 Comfort Items

A piece of her favorite stuffed animal from her childhood. She threw the animal away years ago but cut off a piece of that fabric before fully getting rid of it. She hides it under her pillow in the warehouse but has mostly forgotten about it by the time Saw 3 rolls around.

A trophy from Hoffman. It says 'soccer star' on it because he lifted it from a McDonald's after a kids soccer team left and the kid forgot his trophy. He threw it in Amanda's space thinking she wouldn't keep it, but she's held onto it because it feels like something an older brother would give his sister as a joke.

A fridge magnet that John bought for her on their way back to the States after the events of Saw X. It won't replace Gabriela but hey, it's fun to fidget with!

3. A Memory She's Blocked Out

The day her dreams were shattered. She was playing as a princess in her bedroom only for her dad to tell her to "grow up" and that doing "pansy shit like that will get you beat up at school". She was no older than ten when he said that to her.

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the-silver-chronicles · 8 months

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WIP Wednesday + Last Line Paragraph

Tagged by @direwombat @g0dspeeed @inafieldofdaisies and @josephseedismyfather

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @cassietrn @chazz-anova @adelaidedrubman @wrathfulrook @shallow-gravy @strangefable @voidika @poisonedtruth @derelictheretic @detectivelokis @josephslittledeputy @vampireninjabunnies-blog @snake-in-the-garden @strafethesesinners @a-rose-in-a-garden-of-weeds @henbased @ladyofedens-blog @little-wolf-seed and @deputy-morgan-malone + anyone else who wishes to join and share.

Here's a WIP of Silva's Hope. And we got some Mary May! This isn't my most polished work so the final result will be a bit different once it's published. WIP below:

Mary May raised a brow at Nadi, regarding the smaller blonde with puzzlement. She finished polishing the glassware, placing it onto the counter with a soft clink.

Setting both arms firmly on the bar, Nadi's brown eyes had to endure the intensity of the barkeep's light blue. She noticed the skepticism, how the Fairgrave woman was running her words through her head, tearing them apart.

However, Nadi didn't waver from her poker face, and maintained the clueless Fall's End overseas nouvelle venue act. Masking emotions was a quality she learnt from Jacob, and later John had given her a few tips on how to hide intentions to get information better.

A pause was heavy between the two, until Mary May finally responded, but with her own question, "Now why do you want to know about a dead girl?"

Nadi smoothed a hand over to her small braid, playing with it as she answered, "Well, like I said, I've been learning so much about Fall's End for a few weeks now... to get a clearer picture on everything that goes about here, you know? But I can't seem to get a straight answer on this Omar girl. She seemed to have a... mixed reputation, non?"

Much to Nadi's delight, Mary May snorted as she shook her head, reaching under her counter to grab a beer bottle.

"Understatement of the century," the barkeeper mumbled, eyes easing the intensity in her eyes. Cagnotte, Nadi proudly thought to herself as Mary May's lips parted to answer.

“Now, so you know, my word isn’t exactly a picture perfect replication of who Elsa Omar was," Mary May stated, opening the bottle and pouring it into a glass for a patron, "Neither does anyone else in Fall's End. We only ever saw one or two sides of her, and that was what she wanted us to see. The closest you’re going to get to an accurate description of her would be from her older sister, but even then, I'd assume her account on her little sister wouldn't be anything but with rose-tinted glasses. What sister wouldn't think their sibling was anything more than the person they grew up with?"

Mary May held a distant look that Nadi pretended to not notice as she thought on her words. The short-haired blond couldn't help but agree with the sentiment. As an older sibling herself, she knew exactly what it was like to view those younger and older than herself in a different light than everybody else. Even when she probably shouldn't have. I'll need Sister Nancy to tell me more about this older sister of Elsa's. Hopefully she's managed to achieve her assignment by now.

"Now with that said,” Mary May paused, tapping her fingers against the wooden counter, “Elsa Omar was a performer, a tricky one at that. I believed her about her fragile bones. Defended her even. Because who would lie about something like that? Probably helped her case that there were times we heard of her getting what should have been very minor scrapes for anyone else but serious injuries for her. Multiple trips to the clinic wasn't unusual for that girl. Felt bad for her, as did everyone else. We were also in awe by her spirit, in spite of the disadvantage she had. I know I was."

Seeing that she still had Nadi's attention, Mary May continued, "I never like to speak ill of the dead. It just... never feels rights when the person isn't around to hear it themselves. But I gotta say, Elsa was, and will always be, one of the most confusing people I have ever met."

Nadi tilted her head, shuffling her stool seat closer to the counter, "How so?"

Mary May huffed, shaking her head with pursed lips and furrowed brows as she spoke, "I just never got her deal. She had a successful business. A family member close by. And got lucky with men and women alike. I honestly thought she was plenty decent until she continued to run her mouth around me. She could be really nice to you. She could be really good to you. She could have even made you believe she was your best friend. Or she could be a self-absorbed, rude shit with an ego that puts John Seed and Guy Marvel to shame. Never hated her, but didn't exactly like her either. Most people though either had one opinion or the other about her, both good and bad. As I said, she was tricky. And quite the actor. I could never tell which facade was her true self. If either was the "real her" anyways. She didn't cause unnecessary problems, or try to get my business shut down, which made me a little lenient to tolerate her. Her sister always got a free pass from me because she didn't bother anyone. Or she was too shy to. Though I chalked it up as someone who didn't have a good handle on their English yet. Never liked making conversation, always keeping things short. Not Elsa though, she talked like it was her way of breathing."

Nadi clasped her hands together and rested her chin on top, supported by her elbows on the bar counter, as she continued to listen to the sinner speak her mind. While the business she owned enabled others to indulge in their vices, Nadi couldn't help but be enraptured by Mary May's words. She could see why John had a small infatuation with the barkeeper. She had an aura of a person who was capable of taking care of herself, a reliable ally who could pull her own weight and someone who was tough. Someone who wouldn't go down that easily. All were admirable traits, and useful too. Not to mention, she was pleasing on the eyes.

Nadi felt disappointed that the other blonde let her Pride vehemently dictate her decisions, rejecting the Father's truth. John's chances to give salvation. Would've loved to see her walking around in Chosen attire, came the intrusive thought.

The image of a beauté like Mary May dressed as a Chosen, just like Nadi's fellow brothers and sisters back at the Veteran's Centre, darkened Nadi's cheeks, and her want for someone's touch return.

Shaking her head, Nadi shooed those tempting thoughts away. Restrain your LUST, Sinclair, a voice, either her own or John's, chided, You already need to resist charming your boss, don't push yourself further into sin by leading others or yourself down that path... again.

"Hey, you alright?" Mary May's voice cut through Nadi's thoughts.

Nadi blinked, and put on a smile before gesturing towards Mary May, "Oui. Got lost in thoughts. Please, continue."

And here is the last lines for La Última En Pie. Nightmare sequences are difficult to write (also trigger warning for child abuse, nightmares of implied child murder and, uh, creepiness):

“No matter where you hide. No matter how far you run. No matter which sinners you choose to sully what little virtue you have with,” Father told her, his grip getting tighter, constricting her breath, “You. Will always. Be. Mine."

Sylvester clawed at his arm, his wrist, his hand. Choking on screams he kept silent. "This isn't supposed to be happening," she wanted to say, so desperately, "This wasn't how this went." Her wide grey eyes stared into the unbothered gaze of whom she shared the colour with. Father drew her face closer to his, as he whispered his promise, "And we will be together in my Garden. My paradise. No matter which form I mold you in."

#far cry the silver chronicles #far cry 5 #wip: silva's hope #oc: nadi sinclair #mary may fairgrave #special mention ocs #oc: elsa omar #special mention characters #john seed #nancy #fucking nancy #wip: la última en pie #oc: silva omar #oc: father adam omar #tw: child abuse #tw: brief nightmare sequence #tw: creepiness

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talentforlying · 5 months

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me wobbling constantine llike laminated paper: ooooo you are so starved for approval and too proud to ever voice it and too afraid you'll never get it so you throw yourself full-body at the worst problems humanity and hell can conjure up and make yourself look at the things that you know will haunt you because you think if you manage to win on a dramatic enough scale then maybe you'll at least earn some approval after you're dead, oooooo

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i've cracked the fucking code i've figured it out #john: i did not ask to be the problem-solver but while i'm already HERE let me burn myself down at both ends to fix it. no reason why #thinking about how even when he knew & accepted his dad was shitty & abusive he still tried desperately to earn his love #even After his father was killed he still tried to appease the old fucker and still felt awful leaving him in hell (where he BELONGED)#thinking about how he is always trying to solve his friends' problems for them as quickly & easily as possible #or placing himself in a leadership role when working with members of the magic community. especially the rich ones #like he needs to prove that he does belong with them and is worthy of being listened to #he is so Starved for validation for all he has done and gone through and sacrificed and he will always be trying to fill that void #i'm still so busy don't perceive me. but do perceive This bc i'm thinking about it Endlessly #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

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urne-buriall · 9 months

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so I remember the outage at Kate in this update the first time around. she's a nurse and should know better than to tell John what Dean said, especially when Dean is stuck in this very isolated place with him. and that's all true, she should know

but we don't know how exactly the conversation started. there's just one clue for us: Dean's been working in the barn for some time before he decides to pick up the phone and call Cas. he hasn't heard the phone ring, or he might wonder about the line being in use

this tells us that John called Kate, not the other way around

the rest below a cut because it's what I think, but it's not in the text for a few reasons, and as is my calling, it just makes things complicated with no black or white resolution

John called Kate. not because he knows anything has gone on, just to have a chat. his kid just stormed out and it's time to work on his other family, where he can start fresh. (Sam called it in his last scene. he's astute that way.) but this means Kate's plan to take some time and think about everything she just learned goes out the window. not ready to talk to John, she probably tried to get off the line, but he needled. picked up there was something off and tried to ask if there was some issue between them (with Sam walking out, a statement of failure on John's part, he's not gonna play the loser twice in a row)

not wanting to draw attention to the fact that there IS an issue, maybe she thought she could be clever. confirm the truth of the surprising things Dean told her. maybe she started by asking about Sam, thinking she'll catch John in a lie. and oh, Sam, he's gone back to school, yeah, they start early there. has John said how proud he is of that kid, how he could get into any college in the world from here? and Adam will be a smart one like Sam, no doubt about it, and go to a smartypants school too, or whatever school Kate wants him in. it's hard when the kids are far from home but at least Dean's stayed close by and John's always got him for the farm, he's invaluable for that

and this is. not what she expected. during her visit, they seemed like such a put-together household, which is what John is reflecting now. which is not what Dean said over the phone. and I think she's still cautious, but now she's confused, and she tries asking another canny question but she slips up. it wouldn't take much to trigger John's suspicion, and he has one goal, which is: don't lose Kate

and he says he can tell something's the matter and she tries to say there isn't and that's when we get into the kind of back and forth where John is playing to his strength. hell, he'd even offer to hang up and give her some time, but in a way that now she's the one apologizing (just like Dean apologizes in another scene, when he isn't the one who should be saying sorry). and when he asks what's changed she admits she had a strange call from Dean and she doesn't know what to make of it. she still doesn't intend to say anything about the content of that call, but John knows enough. he knows what to ask, what to plant, what to make her question Dean's motives until she is revealing more and he's twisting up her doubts and reflecting them back and insisting Dean's story doesn't add up, which, maybe it doesn't? and this is confusing, upsetting, she doesn't know which way is up, and John is just so certain. has an explanation for everything

by the time the call is ending she's just agreeing with everything John's saying because he's shot down every single other point so efficiently that it seems there's no purpose in searching for exhausting counterarguments with him. and she's confused and defeated. and once she hangs up, she knows less than when she started. she doesn't know if the sick feeling in her stomach is worry that Dean was telling the truth and she's just betrayed him or if it's the distaste of Adam having a half-brother, one he's met and adores, who's a sociopath that would make up anything to keep her away. she's stuck between two realities because she knows someone is lying to her very well but can't tell which one

she doesn't speak to John again, letting his calls go to voicemail. if she thinks about making a tip, she doesn't know who it will help or hurt. a week after this, she gets a call from Dean at a different number. she is partly relieved to hear his voice because she's been concerned she got it all wrong, but also unsure at the start of whether she'll be hearing another fabulation to keep her away

Dean's not looking for sympathy or an apology or any of that. he's not calling to accuse her or even tell her directly of her role in that final fight. he just says that he wanted her to know he's pressing charges with the police, here's the case number and this is Jody's extension, and that if Kate and Adam would like to set up no-contact orders it wouldn't be a bad idea and they could piggy-back off Dean's case. he's applying to be Sam's legal guardian, and he doesn't have a fixed place to stay yet but here's where to write or call. that if it's alright with Kate, he'd like to stay in touch with Adam, even if what they share is a rotten dad

she knows, then. she puts the pieces together and I think that guilt plagues her. she apologizes, desperately apologizes and tries to explain, and Dean goes quiet. then says he knows what his dad is like. he always believed John too. it's not an "I forgive you" but it's a sense of commiseration. he wouldn't wish John on anybody, and everything that happened was done by John, not her

#spirit of the west daily #this is a story and not a case study on helping abuse victims #people don't do the right thing in every moment #and anyone who is in John's range is going to be lied to and deliberately deceived #to Kate‚ John is the father of her kid who's been reconnecting with her and hinting at marriage #Dean contradicted the version of reality John presented her for months and now John is reaffirming it and he's the one she thinks she knows #and she thought she had a read on Dean from her brief visit and she thought she had a read on John #but she's wrong about one of them and her judgement is shot and John would capitalize on that #the relationship between Dean and Kate would likely be rather cool after this #but I see him staying connected with Adam and having him out for visits in later years

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m1ssunderstanding · 5 months

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Sorry for the extremely niche post everyone but I just reread this book and I can't help that Dickens wrote very cleverly disguised mclennon fanfiction a century before j/p met it's just the truth.

#If anyone wants to be my hero and write this au or talk Dickens/Beatles #It's just too perfect #The extremely strict emotionally abusive non-mother who raises a determinedly sweet generous idealist dreamer #The ner-do-well father who raises his own care-taker/provider through manipulation and control disguised as love #They both see each other the way no one else has seen them and form a close partnership and love like what was never modeled for them #Extremely ride or die and self deprecating on both sides “oh id do anything for them but they deserve better than me” until they realize...#paul mccartney #john lennon #beatles #mclennon #charles dickens #little dorrit

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meatmensch · 1 year

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the way that some ppl just. do not understand the role of john winchester and his abuse and how it manifests and how it actually makes so much sense for dean and sam's opinions about him to not be consistent. girlies i wish i had your lives

#someone didnt grow up with an abusive father huh 😒#also bitches be like damn my dad is back in town. that sucks. i dont wanna think abt it. ill think abt john winchester instead #abuse cw #my posts #spn

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sammygender · 4 days

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john winchester’s ass should NOT be in heaven. He is literally responsible for dean winchester being Like That. dude abused his kid then died and left the world alone with the adult version of that abused kid who has the most warped mindset you’ve ever seen on any non-kendall-roy older brother. cardinal sin.

#Like even aside from the abuse just being awful in itself #sam can’t even get away from his abusive father once he’s dead bc his brother just becomes more like him instead😭and dean will never ever #EVER get away from john bc he lives in his head!! also the narrative slash god is hellbent on filling johns role and emotionally destroying #both brothers anyway. so!#spn #dean winchester #oliver talks

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disasterbijedi · 2 years

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drake rodger’s interpretation of john winchester has major anakin vibes. puppy dog kid with anger and darkness inside, introduced to the loss of family and the horrors of war way too young. he thinks he can fight his inner demons by fighting real life demons. he’s wrong. he says he’s here to save people. but he likes the violence a little too much. in fighting monsters, he loses his humanity. soon, he will forget how to imagine a life outside of the hunt. that’s the moment that seals his doom.

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terrence-silver · 1 year

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Who do you think Terry lost his virginity to?

Two options I always leaned towards myself;

Logically, considering he could've been no older than seventeen or eighteen, give or take, he either lost it in Vietnam, much like countless other GI's at the time undoubtedly did, to some nameless sex worker(s), in some nameless brothel, in some city, town or village along the trail of the US war effort in the country. Possibly, after much encouragement and pushing from John and Ponytail who were convinced it was due time and that Twig needed a shove in the right direction. Believable. Some teensy-tinsy amount of peer pressure might've been involved, yes. Maybe not. Who is to tell? A bit of both?

Or, perhaps, years and years before he actually went off to the war, I can see Terry Silver's father as the overly patriarchal, hyper-traditionalist type there to ensure his boy became a man as soon as possible, especially if he deemed his son was already 'too soft', gentle and shy and 'needed fixing'. That extreme measures in these extreme circumstances needed to be taken to avoid his one and only heir from going bad, like a rotten apple; something he had to be coaxed out of a taught a lesson in true manhood 'before it is too late'. What ensued is possibly a criminally young Terry, again, brought to a sex worker or rather, lets call it a 'trusted friend of his father's' who did the job for him as young as age twelve or thirteen and it might've been an affair as clinical as a medical check-up. After all, Terry himself said he has had many teachers and his old man was definitely one of them, I think we all agree, but nobody said the things he was taught were anywhere near sane or even good, not even by the standards of the early to late 1950's when this could've taken place.

Also, I see these two options as something that can coexist side by side.

Terry, or, a young Twig during Vietnam simply lying he was still a virgin at the time he was in the military to his friends who would've undoubtedly teased him relentlessly when he, ironically, fidgety and boyish as he was lost his virginity sooner than any of them (even sooner than the buff, more classically manly, borderline All-American John Kreese himself who had a full-blown sweetheart back home in Betsy), but if he told them that was the case and that he already knew what the fuss was all about, they wouldn't believe him. That he's merely saying it to seem tough and save face. Avoid ridicule. That's what he might've felt. After all, they had a preconceived notion of him and that notion was that Twig was clumsy, silly, a bit of a sheltered haphazard and definitely the type that can't pull poontang or ladies, because hey, c'mon, he's a cute kid, but it is still Twig. Women ain't exactly lining up for some scrawny, lanky guy who is all limbs. In truth, he lost his virginity extremely early. One would even saying worryingly early. Worse yet, I can imagine that for the longest time (or maybe even all his life) Terry Silver was convinced he was done a favor with this early loss of innocence and that it helped strengthen him as a man. That that's how things should be. He became a winner instead of a wimp.

Which, if we open our third eye and tend to view what he, for example, gleefully did to a teenage Daniel Larusso back in the 1980's as a form of grooming (both into violence, bad habits and well --- god only knows) it also explains a lot. It was done to Terry once upon a time. Now, he is doing it to others. Perpetuating a multigenerational cycle of abuse. Hurt people hurt people. In Terry's case, though, he wouldn't necessarily even realize, admit or see himself as one of the hurt parties. Quite the contrary.

#tw; toxic masculinity #tw; child abuse #tw; cycles of abuse #tw; all the trigger warnings #terry silver #john kreese #daniel larusso #cobra kai #kk3 #character headcanon #character headcanons #virginity #loss of innocence #terry silver twig #twig terry silver #ponytail #terry silver's father

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