#Jess the Beheader
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muscular woman of the day: jess the beheader from the adventure zone
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#tumblr poll#taz#the adventure zone#the zone cast#taz balance#NO-3113#Jess the Beheader#i'm so sorry
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murder on the rockport limited aesthetic: balance arcs 2/8
#use your voice flower hero#flower chatter#taz balance#the adventure zone#murder on the rockport limited#moodboard#train aesthetic#tw knife#irl hands#detective aesthetic#blue aesthetic#brown aesthetic#black aesthetic#gray aesthetic#taz jenkins#jess the beheader#angus mcdonald#taz graham#neverwinter#the mcelroys
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[Image ID: The Adventure Zone logo overlayed with the transgender flag]
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What's this?? It's jess the beheader with the nat 20!!!!!
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I’m probably never gonna finish this drawing but I made it so here. Look at it!
Jess the Beheader & Queen Sabine.
Psst: they r friends —> enemies —> lovers.
[image ID:] an incredibly rough digital sketch of Queen Sabine, a human wrestler from The Adventure Zone who has fluffy hair, and wears a fencing uniform, and a tricorn hat adorned with a red rose and a yellow feather. She is scowling and facing off against Jess the Beheader, who is even more roughly drawn. Jess is a dwarven wrestler with a double-headed axe. She is grinning competitively. [end ID]
#taz#my art#taz fanart#taz balance#taz balance fanart#Jess the Beheader#queen sabine#taz wrestlers#the adventure zone
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I couldn’t get this image of Lady Godwin out of my head. Also the thought of her having a thigh dagger holster for her axe.
#And the body of Jess the beheader whuh whoa#taz#the adventure zone#the adventure zone versus dracula#taz vs dracula#lady godwin#lady Godwin taz#I totally called the warehorse coming on my GOD#Griffin is a genius#something to nom on
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TAZ Dashboard Simulator 2 (Part 1)
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
be back soon 💋 im gonna go fight this guy for my relic
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
Ubmrella
#girl help #im trapped
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In your orbit!
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
↻ woe-is-johann
🤼 best-fantasy-prowrestler-tournament Follow
Round 4: Semi-Finals
Jeff Angel Propaganda:
from @.ango-mcdango: I <3 JEFF ANGEL HE’S SO COOL AND HE ALWAYS CALLS HIS DAD
Jess the Beheader Propaganda:
from @.bagnus-murnsides: jess literally has a dope ass axe
#jess sweep
(379 notes)
🚀 cap-n-port
↻ you-know-from-tv Follow
┌───────────────────┐
😎 Anonymous asked:
Your captain looks gnc as fuck
└───────────────────┘
👖 lactosewarrior5000
YOU'RE INSANE
#Thank you very much!
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🐱 Sponsored by Fantasy Costco
You Don’t Need All of Your Blood; Here’s Why
The Director doesn’t want you to know this…
🎻 woe-is-johann
↻ avi-the-ball-guy
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
cannonball system liveblog
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
ball
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
ball
🪩 avi-the-ball-guy
other. ball
#babe we gotta get you a fidget toy or something #clearly you're getting bored at work
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📔 sheesh-creesh
↻ lup-da-lup Follow
💋 lesbian-orc-lover Follow
lucretia was 18 when the ipre mission left??!? she should've been at the club!!
✨ you-know-from-tv Follow
oh trust me one of the planes we went to was a giant disco and lucy was freakin it sensitive style day and night
🔥 lup-da-lup Follow
real footage of lucretia at the club ↑↑
#I'm actually going to kill both of you #mutuals #queue never know what you'll find #reblogs
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❄️ neverwinter-heritage-posts
↻ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow
┌───────────────────┐
🚂 jerreeeeee asked:
is magnus burnsides gay??
└───────────────────┘
📖 dailycalebcleveland
why would you ask us, a caleb cleveland blog, this
#neverwinter heritage posts
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🧣 weaver-of-fate
↻ raven-queen-official
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
i loev my beaugifyl wife so muchnohmygod
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
where is smy wife i wanst to see herh
🐦⬛ raven-queen-official
hiiiiiiiidjiiii omg shge. is here :D
#apologies guys we hung out with pan and she got FUCKED up #you know how poker nights get #wife tag
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🐦 7-bird-watcher
↻ not-a-shitty-wizard Follow
🪄 mage-guy-19274637 Follow
people who actually like bugs are absolute freaks
🕷️ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow
wrong! spider attack
🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️��️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️
#sent to me
(6,074 notes)
🌈 lucretiaadventurezone
hi
#i simply had to make another one it was way too fun#can you spot all the references?#long post#fake tumblr post#taz balance#the adventure zone#a sydney original#taako#lup#barry bluejeans#davenport#istus#the raven queen#avi#johann#johavi#istus/the raven queen
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thinking about innocent angelic!reader being a risqué burlesque dancer, and catching the attention of billy. (mdni) (pt. 2) ౨ৎ
the bar is stifling, as cowboys, coal miners, and married men alike fill the wooden walls with cigar smoke and pungent whisky breath, thick and heavy amidst the humid air. jesse’s already pulling billy closer to the front of the stage with his bruised hand clasped along the younger man’s shoulder, knocking past gorging men too drunk to spit out a threat or chance them a second glance.
the tinny music starts up just as the pair find a good view point. billy glances around stoically from beneath the dark brim of his hat as the men around him practically hop out of their wooden seats, cheering and yelling at the empty stage as if the beheading of a rebel were about to occur. it isn’t until you come out that he realizes the validity of their reactions.
your soft hair reflects against the warm amber oil lamps above you. it’s done up in an intricate hairdo, littered with silk bows and pearls, royal. billy let’s his cobalt eyes drag down your angelic figure, eyeing the lacy little corset dress that hugged your waist. complete with spaghetti straps and a minuscule hem that left the petal soft skin of your arms and legs bare, save for your knee length stockings. he felt a white hot light burn within his core, releasing a hushed, but pitiful breath at the sight of your near naked frame prancing around the stage.
your glossy smile was bright, framed with a darker shade along your cupid’s bow, emphasizing to the lone cowboy just how plump your lips were. you seemed excited, happy even, but there was a light behind your eyes that grew dimmer with each foul remark spit your way, each taunt, each coin tossed at your heeled mary janes. you longed to be on the big stage. you wanted to preform for artists, you wanted to be in the pictures-
your set is nearly finished. you twirl, just like a ballerina figurine trapped within the confines of a music box. with every spot of your turns you see a handsome man dressed in deep indigo, holster on his hip, hat tilted, hypnotic eyes watching your every move from behind his glass of whisky. he’s oddly quiet, however his chapped lips are parted, revealing that not even he is immune to your siren song. you can’t take your eyes off of him once you regain your footing, neglecting your big sign off to unravel the baby pink ribbon that previously sat in a bow around your neck. the crowd grows cruder at your actions, but you, unknowing to the bigger picture, only point to the outlaw in two counties that the townsfolk call “billy”. his lips form into a subtle smirk, only widening when his blonde friend pushes him forward teasingly, half finished drink handed off to one of the many drunks in the now jealous crowd.
he trots over to you easily, following the manicured call of your curled pointer finger. you’re stood at the edge of the stage, bent over to meet his eye-line. he’s even prettier up close, you think, with your ever softening doe eyes. sun kissed skin stained with dirt and sweat, complimented by a strong bone structure. brunette locks that curl out from beneath his hat, matching eyelashes that frame his darkening eyes as they gaze at you. you giggle softly, a shy, tinkling sound that has billy fighting back his grin. as quickly as you can, you tie your ribbon around his large wrist. a wave of heat rushes through every avenue of your body as you note the size difference of your hands, leaving you tingly and warm. despite being a burlesque dancer, you weren’t the most experienced- besides one or two men who found themselves in the boarding house a bit ago, but you knew lots of tricks from your burlesque sisters, and you were eager to put them to good use with the handsome stranger in front of you- if he would let you.
billy’s heady gaze drops towards your lips as you place a sticky kiss along the corner of his mouth, just catching the prickle of his stubble. you can feel billy’s breath hitch ever so slightly, as the salty taste of his skin causes your long eyelashes to flutter. “meet me backstage after the show. please?” he all but nods at your pleading, letting his usually rough hand brush a loose lock behind your ear as gently as he could. with a good southern-natured tilt of his hat and rosy cheeks, billy gives you a crooked smile that you couldn’t help but flush at.
“yes, m’am.”
#this is my first time writing for him#and i’m 🦋🦋🦋🦋#billy the kid#billy the kid x reader#billy the kid x fem!reader#billy the kid x black!reader#billy the kid x poc!reader#billy the kid x you#william h bonney#billy antrim#billy the kid fic#billy the kid fanfic#billy the kid smut#billy the kid blurb#billy the kid fluff#tom blyth fanfiction#pixie’s works * ੈ✩‧₊˚
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Urban Wyatt x Reader : ROSCA DE REYES
“What’s the deal about this bread thingy?” Clay asks.
You alongside your husband, your best friend, her husband Jack, Clay, Druski and Cope were laying around in your living room watching a new series you got them all hooked on, El Señor de Los Cielos.
Earlier that day you had remembered to go buy a rosca so all of you can partake and eat it with chocolate de abuelita.
“It’s just something my family has done for years. It’s a Latin tradition, every January sixth, you buy a rosca and cut a slice and inside there’s a plastic baby Jesus. It’s supposed to be good luck if you get it, but you also have to cook tamales for everyone.” You explain.
“BABY JESUS WHAT?” Druski asks, laughing.
Jess rolls her eyes, “Just shut up and enjoy the damn hot chocolate and bread.”
“So it’s just bread?” Clay asks.
You nod, “With some sweets toppings, but those aren’t my favorite so I take them off.”
You and Jess go to the kitchen to start on the chocolate de abuelita and get mugs for everyone.
“Cuando estos se aprendan todas nuestras tradiciones será un milagro.” Jess says.
“Primero le tienes que enseñar a tus suegros y a su familia como aplaudir en sincronía. Their clapping is so off.”
“Bitch don’t come for my husbands family.” Jess throws a piece of chocolate at you. “But you’re right.”
You both laugh and go to serve the drinks in mugs and take them to the living room, alongside with the rosca.
“Urban you cut it, I heard all about the bingo game being rigged so I don’t want to get no baby Jesus in my bread.” Druski says.
“First of all, it’s not bingo it’s loteria.” You roll your eyes and then turn to face Urban, “Second of all, babe are you still milking the fact that you kept loosing?”
“No, this fucker just loves bringing up old stuff to start shit.” Urban answers.
“Here, you cut the pieces then.” You hand him the knife.
“Does it matter the size?”
“No.”
Urban starts cutting the slices and you help him pass them around.
“I’m safe.” Jess says smiling and taking a bite from the rosca.
“Of course you are.” Clay tells her.
“Here you go as well oh my gosh” Jess says rolling her eyes.
“Umm.” Druski says. “Is this baby Jesus supposed to be without a head?”
You and Jess look at each other and laugh.
“Did you eat the head?”
“What? No.”
“Nah man, I think you did.” Jack says.
“Urban you better put that baby Jesus back in its place, don’t try hiding it.” You tell him after you saw from the corner of your eye when he tried sneaking it out and put it behind him.
“H-how what?” He asks.
You smile “I saw you idiot.”
“But babe that means you’ll have to cook the tamales.”
“Me? I didn’t get any baby Jesus on my slice.”
“But since I’m your husband and these are the rules, you need to help me.”
You shake your head, “Nope, I’ll tell you what to do step by step but I’m not cooking them, that’s all you.”
“Fine.”
“Oh shit, I got it too.” Jack says.
“I guess we’re making tamales for the whole block.”
“I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW MY BABY JESUS WAS BEHEADED.” Druski says, looking at the little plastic baby in his hand.
********
TAG LIST
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#polls#i have polls now#mcelroys#the adventure zone#taz balance#taz amnesty#taz graduation#taz ethersea
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001 - fuck montrose
Soho — 03:45 A.M ( Catherine Steel )
The devil isn't always a little red man with horns, a long pointed tail, sometimes he can be handsome. And Rhys Montrose was the most beautiful demon Catherine had ever seen.
Blue-eyed, stocky, almost territorial in posture, and showered with all the English class, Montrose wore his elegance in a different way than London's rich men, who paraded around covered in gold and diamonds, showing off their fat wallets at Soho parties. . He had a fat wallet, but he didn't show it off. Rhys carried his bullion in an old, battered bag.
"My God, it's Montrose!" - Jess said giving me an elbow, which made me drop my drink.
“What the fuck. Why did it?"
"You did not see? Rhys is right there"
Jess's eyes almost popped out of their sockets they were so wide. She gave him that psychopath smile, teeth clenched, and waved at him. That Rhys Montrose grinned and waved back briefly as he walked down the club stairs. Down the stairs, on the last step, a small group of people gathered and pulled out their cell phones, pointing at Rhys, who just gave them a restrained smile, no teeth showing.
I didn't live in a cave, it was obvious I already knew who Rhys Montrose was. He became one of hundreds of celebrities with a bad history behind stardom who were "unassumingly" paraphrased in a few paragraphs in a booklet with an iconic cover that happened to be at the top of the Times for enough weeks to be placed on one of those lists. "Books You Must Read Before You Die" on the Internet. Yeah, I knew him, as did everyone else in that club.
“He's literally the hottest man I've ever seen in my life."
"Close your mouth before drool falls into your drink."
I laughed and Jess elbowed me again.
"He is...
" Incredible? Wonderful? Intelligent..."
"Married. I interrupted."
"In divorce proceedings, according to the Daily Mail.'
I rolled my eyes. Jesse really had a thing for married men.
She went on and on about how hot Rhys was but I was too tired to listen so I left her with a group of girls who were also talking about Rhys and walked off with my drink in the opposite direction of the fuss and whispers.
Leaving the Montrose fan club behind, I started looking at how the rich worked, and boy was it bizarre. The world of high society was more complex than I imagined. Moving between the millionaire groups I heard conversations about bitcoins, shares in the stock exchange, I took a few more steps and soon I heard about a sexual abuse case that was covered up by a supreme court judge last week, more steps forward and I heard about how the Europe was stupid to free the slaves and behead their Kings, after all, in the world there are only two types of people:
The hunt.
And the hunter.
My drunken walk took me to a secluded spot in the club. A place where loud music was nothing more than an annoying noise muffled by the walls. A kind of room, which I didn't hesitate to enter, with a spacious bed that I also didn't hesitate to throw myself on. The sensation of zigzagging between the limit of sobriety and the unconscious attracted me in a unique way, I liked the feeling of walking on a rope, where one wrong step could be fatal.
Even drunk I was acutely aware that I shouldn't be there, and the fact that I was taking off my dress and heels and rolling around in an overly comfortable bed was going to get me into trouble soon, but I just didn't care. I took a step in the opposite direction of sobriety that night.
Damn it. It was the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes.
I got up from the bed more slowly than I would have liked, the icy wind coming from the balcony reminded me that I was still wearing my bra and panties, I snorted loudly when I touched the plush carpet in the room, I took a deep breath before I got up to get up , but my stay on two legs was brief, as I landed in a sitting position. in bed again. It was obvious that my stupid brain was still too drunk to do the simple task of keeping me on my feet. I huffed again and after the third try I just gave in to gravity and slammed my bare back into the mattress.
“You made the list of things not to do when you're drunk. Congratulations. "
I looked in the direction of the voice and there it was; Rhys Montrose, sitting in the armchair in the darkest corner of the room. Legs crossed as he slowly swirled a glass of whiskey in his hand.
“You found my secret hiding place." He smiled.
“What are you doing here?”
"I was going to ask you the same thing."
I swallowed hard. Sober or not, I was going to get out of there as soon as possible. I gathered all my strength and got to my feet. I gripped the headboard as hard as I could and grabbed my dress off the floor and put it on, grabbed the silver heels and staggered to the door. But it was clear that my knees were still sleeping and forgetting to support me.
Rhys chuckled as he landed on the floor, not caring if I was listening or not.
" What's the fun"
"Other than your dress being backwards and you being so drunk you couldn't stand up?"
“Fuck off. I don't know what you think is going to happen here, but you're wrong."
"Do you know what's going to happen here?" He set his glass on the side table and leaned forward, clasping his hands together. The thick gold ring that rested on her thumb gleamed in the moonlight. “You'll try to get up, take half a step, and fall again. Get hurt and somehow it will end up on the front page of the Daily Mail tomorrow, with my name next to the word attacked.
" What do you want?"
"To help you"
“I don't need your help. And once again, nothing will happen here-"
“If I wanted to do something to you, young lady, I would have done it in the last three hours you've spent passed out and drooling on my bed."
“Fuck you, Montrose."
I leaned against one of the bookshelves and managed to get up.
Panting and unnecessarily sweaty, but on her feet.
I sucked in as much air as my lungs could hold and took the first step, onto my back, looking directly at Rhys. With one step after another I approached the door. I leaned on the handle when I thought I was going to fall, but on impact it broke, but somehow I caught on to the coat rack and I didn't actually fall before Rhys, who jumped up from his chair, came closer. .
With some difficulty I managed to get the door open and glanced at Montrose's stout figure before walking away.
(( summary here ₊˚✧ˎ
#rhys montrose x you#rhys montrose x reader#rhys montrose#rhys montrose fanfiction#fanfiction#bad boy#wattpad#netflix#joe goldberg#love quinn#young adult#smut#drunk kink
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Best TAZ Balance NPC poll
After a little messing around, I've decided to conduct a very scientific poll.
This will include every TAZ Balance NPC that I remember/care about so I apologize deeply if your favorite NPC isn't on here but there's 60 total so I feel that's pretty comprehensive.
Matchups under the read more (These have been randomized so I'm sorry for any tough choices)
Artemis Sterling vs Hurley
Kravitz vs Klarg
Angus McDonald vs Robbie
Graham the Juicy Wizard vs Mr. Upsy
Johann vs Davenport
Roswell vs Dracula
Antonia vs Rowan
Lucas Miller vs Hodge Podge
Hekuba Roughridge vs Cassidy
Steven vs Brad Bradson
Greg Grimaldis vs Jenkins
Trent the Treant vs Little Jerry and Jerreeeeee
Cam vs Paloma
Voidfish vs Garyl
Barry Bluejeans vs Istus
Gundren Rockseeker vs Lucretia
Maarvey vs Sloane
Joaquin Terrero vs Edward
Mookie vs Lup
Ash vs Jeff Angel
Lydia vs Avi
Ren Mol'diira vs The Raven Queen
Clint McElroy (the Plane Walker) vs Boyland
June vs Pan
Brody vs Magic Brian
Garfield the Deals Warlock vs John
Leon the Artificer vs Carey Fangbattle
Mavis vs Killian
Maureen Miller vs Julia Burnsides
Jess the Beheader vs NO-3113
#tumblr polls#taz#the zone cast#the adventure zone#taz balance#Artemis Sterling#Hurley#Kravitz#klarg#angus mcdonald#robbie#graham the juicy wizard#mr. upsy#johann taz#davenport#roswell#dracula#antonia taz#rowan taz#lucas miller#hodge podge#Hekuba Roughridge#cassidy taz#steven the goldfish#brad bradson#greg grimaldis#jenkins taz#Trent the Treant#Little Jerry and Jerreeeeee#cam taz
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wyll <- jeff angel fan
karlach <- jess the beheader fan
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#this was in the drafts of my main blog half finished so i just added more characters i hc as lesbians to fill it out#honorable mentions include noelle who is definitely sapphic but maybe not a lesbian to me and raven queen who is istus' gf#taz#poll
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like this should have resulted in walts immediate beheading and a plane ticket to new zealand for jesse w his own therapy pig i hate this show
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