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harmonictechnicality · 8 months

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*no rest for the wicked*

my teensy contribution to @thefreakandthehair's spicy six summer collection 💖 | word count: 3k | rating: T | ao3 link | also, this wouldn't exist if @chocoarts didn't send me a sketch that immediately set off sparklers in my brain so bless youuu ✨

Twenty-six hours. That’s how long Eddie has been up. Twenty-six hours and twelve minutes. The heaviness hanging in his eyes is medieval-level torturous, and the cramp in his left calf is probably permanent by now.

A sane person who enjoys sleeping might be asking, ‘Why? Why put yourself through this when there’s a perfectly decent bed down the hall?’ And Eddie would be forced to reply back with two, simple words:

Concert. Tickets.

That’s right, Eddie is actively murdering his own brain cells to win two vip tickets on the radio. Twenty-seven hours ago, it seemed like a grand idea. Genius, even. It’s free and minimal effort - he just has to call the station every hour on the dot. No biggie, right?

Ha, sure. Tell that to the muscles in his eyelids.

“How much longer do you have?” Chrissy asks, snagging a magazine from the stack on the couch.

Eddie checks his watch. Huffs out a laugh. “Let’s just say, I could watch the entire Star Wars trilogy including the credits for each one.”

“Translating to...?”

“Seven-ish hours.” Robin quickly chimes. She pops out of her bedroom and joins Chrissy’s side, instantly threading their hands together. They share a look, one that makes Eddie believe in nice things, even in his state of misery. It’s their superpower, injecting their optimistic outlook into the atmosphere. Infectious in the best way.

“I always forget that you speak fluent nerd.” Chrissy snorts.

“Ouch.” Robin gasps and pulls away, stomping off to their room. Too dramatic to be believable. “Get back to bed before I actually feel offended by that.”

Normally, Eddie is charmed by how hopelessly in love his roommates are with each other. But right now, they are his mortal enemies (well, tied with The Clock), because they get to sleep and he gets to stare at the lightbulb in the ceiling fan. Every now and then, it flickers, which never fails to startle him.

Good. He desperately needs the extra alertness.

Another forty-five minutes go by before anything noteworthy happens. Eddie’s other roommate gets off his night shift around one in the morning. The front door squeals as it opens, crackling all the adrenaline leftover in Eddie’s body.

“Scared the shit out of me, man.” Which could’ve been a literal statement if Eddie hadn’t just taken a bathroom break.

“Gotta get this door fixed.” Steve says. That’s what he always says when it creaks. The reaction never changes, always skating his fingers over the door hinges, mouth twisting to the side. Hands on his hips in disapproval. Eddie has to look away before Steve breaks out his insufferably cute ‘foot tap’ routine. “Hey - why are you still up?”

Ah, yes. Just what Eddie needed. A reminder that it’s fucking late. He finds the energy (or common decency, who knows) to point at the phone. Then to the radio.

“You’re still doing that, huh?”

Eddie nods twice.

“Damn, I’ve never heard you this quiet.” Steve sounds genuinely surprised. A little too smug for Eddie’s liking. “Didn’t know your mouth could stay in a straight line for this long.”

There it is. The rich boy smartassery that will never die. Always lurking in the depths of his genetic makeup.

Eddie claps, total deadpan.

The conversation lulls while Steve messes around in the kitchen for a bit. He’s noisily opening cabinets and clanking dishes around in the sink. Eventually, he walks back into the living room with two beers.

Both for him apparently. “Well, listen,” he starts out. Kicks his feet up on the coffee table. “I’m pretty wired after work, so if you need some company-”

“Six… hours… left.” Eddie musters out.

“Okay well, I doubt I’ll last that long. But I can give it a shot.”

Eddie smirks, raises both eyebrows. “There’s a dirty joke somewhere in there. Too tired to find it though.”

“Good to know the horny part of your mind is still awake.” Steve gives Eddie a small pat on the head.

“Oh? That’s a good thing?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.” It’s too direct, Eddie hears it. And now it’s just Out There - his inability to flirt in a subtle way. And yeah, he could blame it on sleep deprivation, but he’s never been known for his mastery of ambiguity so…

The pause goes on long enough for the light to flicker again, the room growing darker with it. Steve takes a swig of his drink and smiles. “It’s good to know, Ed.”

The light flickers even darker.

Eddie is fully awake after that. Which could’ve been part of Steve’s plan - stimulate his brain with flirty comments and keep him up with those melty smiles. It’s no secret that Eddie turns into a hair-twirling loser around this guy.

Even after living together for a year and seeing one another’s most disgusting habits, he still feels this way. Tight throat, stomach flips. Purely smitten in a way that would nauseate deadbeat poets.

In this moment, however, it’s a wonderful remedy to staying awake throughout the rest of the night. Much more effective than energy drinks and Tootsie Rolls.

Steve ends up on the floor, leaning against the edge of the couch. He sips another beer, recounting some bullshit that happened during his shift at the hotel. Eddie does his best impression of Listening to Steve’s stories, but the words are just buzzing around the glow of Steve’s hair and the shine on his lips. Nodding at seemingly appropriate times is all Eddie currently can offer.

“Sleeping with your eyes open, Munson?”

Eddie blinks hard. “Huh?”

“Creepy, but impressive.” Steve laughs, tapping his hand against Eddie’s leg. “You should add that to the Special Skills column on your resumé.”

“Bold of you to assume I have a resumé.”

They spend the next hour doing just that - adding useless skills to Eddie’s nonexistent resumé. It keeps them busy. Content. Steve smacks Eddie’s knee anytime he laughs, leaves his hand longer every time. Maybe that’s all in Eddie’s semi-dormant mind, especially since Steve shows casual affection to all of his friends. But the warmth of his palm is real enough to have Eddie fully committed to making Steve laugh as much as possible.

“What about… Expert Paper Clip Chain-Maker?” Steve suggests.

Eddie stares at the chain in his hand, the one he was oblivious to creating. He whips it around like a lasso and then shrugs. “A bit wordy.”

“So you’re saying length matters?”

“Christ on toast, Harrington. You’re awfully quick to jump to that conclusion, aren’t you?”

Steve doesn’t answer, just starts laughing again. Eddie didn’t even need to tell a shitty joke this time.

And when Steve’s hand hits his knee, sliding slightly up his thigh, Eddie laughs along with him. It’s the only way to cover up the heat rushing to his face.

Eddie enters the realm of delirium with three hours left in his challenge. He slumps onto the floor next to Steve, nudging his shoulder, staring into his sleep-heavy eyes. It’s four in the morning, inhibitions be damned.

“Do you think if you ever visit Europe, they’d call you Harring-metric-ton?” Eddie picks a piece of lint off Steve’s sleeve. Perfect excuse to reach out, move in closer.

Steve groans. “Yikes. But yes, that question keeps me up at night.”

“So that’s why you’re still awake. See, I knew it wasn’t because of my silly little concert tickets.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, Eddie convinces himself that it’s the truth. Which is so dumb, so stupid. But this seed of insecurity keeps him going, fully projecting his assumptions onto Steve’s harmless comment. Somewhere deep down, buried underneath his exhaustion, Eddie knows it was a joke. But he can’t seem to shut up anymore.

“The riddle has been solved, folks! We finally know why Stevie here is still awake.” Eddie exclaims, flinging his arms out to the side. “Alert Scooby and the gang at once! Mystery Incorporated can finally pack up their magnifying glasses and pursue careers with better health insurance. Ones that covers vision costs this time. It’s what dear, ol' Velma deser-”

“Eddie.” Steve places a hand on Eddie’s arm, holding him still. Was he moving? Oh god, was he shaking?

Fucking mortifying.

Steve’s thumb swipes across Eddie’s skin, tracing diagonal lines back and forth. “You’re rambling.”

“And you’re…” Eddie loses focus. He looks down at the hypnotic patterns that Steve is making. “There. Doing that.”

Steve stops briefly to flip Eddie’s hand over, starts tracing the lines in his palm instead. The pressure makes Eddie’s heart lurch up into his throat. He can feel it thumping in his neck, faster with every stroke of Steve’s fingers. All he wants to do is close his hand around them, keep Steve there for the rest of the night. Longer if he’d let him.

“I can stop if it’s weird.” Steve’s voice is so much quieter than it was earlier.

Don’t stop. Eddie thinks. Can’t say it like that because gross. Humiliating and gross. “It’s not weird.”

Steve keeps his focus on the motion, Eddie does the same. They stay like this for a while, just watching. Intently staring over the invisible lines like pages in a novel. Eddie is pretty sure he’s breathing too loud, can hear it above the whistle in the air conditioner. Wonders if Steve can hear it too.

Probably.

“That’s not why I’m staying awake.” Steve says, never breaking the pattern.

“No?”

“It’s who I’m staying awake for.”

Steve finally stops, right in the center of Eddie’s hand. The air in the room goes dense, weighted with acknowledgment. Something has changed and Eddie can feel it everywhere.

He tilts forward, pulling his gaze away from his hand and up at Steve’s lips. If he weren’t stuck between half-awake and total-delirium, Eddie would just do it. Kiss Steve the way he’s always wanted to. Syrupy slow and deep. Savoring every second.

He could do it right now, right this second. But his focus starts drifting as he closes his eyes. “Did Chrissy tell you?” Eddie grumbles, almost unintelligible.

“Tell me what?”

Eddie’s head falls, landing somewhere on Steve’s chest. He inhales the scent of laundry detergent (because Steve and Chrissy are the only avid laundry-doers in the apartment). It’s so soothing, drawing him further into a dreamlike place.

“Tell me what, Ed?”

“That I…” Eddie is nearly asleep before he can finish the thought. The confession:

‘That I’m crazy about you.’

Sunlight hits Eddie first, startles him so much that he jolts upward. Fully awake. It takes a few seconds of furiously rubbing his eyes before the dread kicks in.

Morning.

It’s morning.

“Shit.”

Eddie fell asleep.

Steve fell asleep.

“Shitshitshit. So many shits!” He fumbles through the labyrinth of blankets and pillows around him, snatching his watch from the coffee table:

10:24 a.m.

“Goddamnit!”

Eddie sinks back down to the floor, clutching the phone that serves him no purpose anymore. All of those hours of waiting and calling for nothing. Even if general admission wasn’t already sold out, it’s not like Eddie could afford tickets on his own. He can barely keep up with his share of the rent. Chrissy had to cover for his grocery run last week and he still hasn’t paid her back.

It’s just so expected too - for him to fuck up like this. Always letting opportunities slip through the cracks, making careless mistakes. No one will be surprised that he failed at such a simple task like calling a fucking radio station.

Eddie sets the phone back on the table and cleans up the living room in a daze. Every now and then, he mutters under his breath about being a total moron. He stays relatively quiet for the most part though. No use in throwing a bitchfest while Steve is blissfully conked out three feet away.

Of course he looks good sleeping too, even in the midst of Eddie’s breakdown. Unfair.

Just before heading back to his room, Eddie hears that familiar door creak. Same one that always sets off Steve’s inner handyman tendencies.

He looks back to see Chrissy padding towards him with a blanket wrapped around her. For someone who hasn’t had their mood-altering cup of coffee yet, she looks extremely pleased to see him. Maybe she knows about the fate of the concert tickets. Maybe this is an early-risers pity party.

Fucking yay.

“Chris, please don’t try to-”

His words are muffled by Chrissy throwing her arms (and blanket cape) around him. She’s so bouncy, the way she always gets with Robin whenever their favorite song comes on at the karaoke bar. He pats her on the back and clears his throat, still trying to piece together what this exchange could be about. However, Eddie is functioning on a few hours of sleep, so his cognitive skills are groggy at best.

She gives him one more squeeze and then looks up, positively gleaming. “I knew it! I knew it would finally happen!”

“That I’d screw up for the umpteenth time in my life? Gee thanks, Chris.” Eddie says.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and Steve!” She whisper-yells back.

Was she snooping on them last night? He wouldn’t put it past her, snoopiness is the foundation of their friendship. Well, whatever Chrissy thought she saw, she’s wrong. Sure, Steve and Eddie flirted, both letting some potentially mutual feelings slip out.

But it was all cut short by Eddie passing out mid-flirt. God knows how Steve took that reaction. Probably assumed Eddie was so bored that he would rather sleep than makeout with him. Or worse, that Eddie was pretending to sleep to let him down easy.

Christ, he doesn’t wanna think about that right now. Not while he’s still mourning the loss of his precious tickets.

“Hate to break it to you, honeyjam, but nothing happened.” Eddie shakes his head, gesturing to Steve who hasn’t budged from the recliner. “It’s just me over here and Steve over there. No conjunction connecting us together in that way.”

He can already tell Chrissy isn’t buying it. She’s getting that little forehead wrinkle right above her eyebrows, just like an angry cartoon character. Her best attempt at intimidation. “You didn’t see what I saw.”

“Gay desperation?”

“No, you jackass. Come here!”

Chrissy yanks Eddie into his bedroom, demanding for him to lock the door. He listens, mainly because the intimidation is starting to work a little. They sit at the edge of the bed and she begins to explain everything she saw:

Steve constructing a wall of blankets and pillows around Eddie to ensure he slept comfortably. Steve waiting by the phone, tapping his foot in that insufferably cute way that Eddie loves so much. Steve scoring the tickets, celebrating quietly to himself.

“How long were you standing at the door, weirdo?” Eddie teases her to avoid the way his stomach is twisting around her words.

Chrissy shushes him and squeals. “And he kissed your cheek!”

“Liar.”

“He did, I swear! He kissed you on the cheek or the chin or the nose. I don't know which one for sure because my view was obstructed by all of your hair.”

Eddie instinctively combs his fingers through a few strands, undoing the knotted pieces. Not all of them, but enough to keep his hands busy while he thinks through this. Processing. “And you’re sure it wasn’t a dream?”

“Positive.”

“What about a hallucination? Didn’t Byers make a batch of those infamous brownies again?”

Chrissy gives a deep sigh. “Whatever. You’re hopeless.” She shrugs the blanket back over her arms and heads toward the door. More than a fair assessment, Eddie can’t argue even if he wanted to (he always does).

He stares at the line of posters along his wall, letting Chrissy’s words replay over and over. Imagining what it might have felt like. If Steve’s breath was warm or if his lips were soft. Eddie wonders how it looked to have Steve dipping down to his level. Staying so quiet, so careful not to disturb him. The visuals swarm his head until there’s nothing left but Steve.

Him and Steve. Connecting them together in that way after all.

So, Eddie gets up and walks back into the living room. He takes in the view of Steve curled up in the recliner, mouth slightly parted open. Chest falling with every sniffle, not quite a snore.

There’s so many emotions while looking at him. Eddie can’t just pin one down to fully comprehend what's going on. All he can do is repeat the scene that’s occupying his mind, settling in his bones.

“Here,” he whispers, placing another blanket across Steve’s lap. It’s feathery gentle, more than he intends for it to be. So gentle that Steve doesn’t shift or stir.

Eddie takes a deep breath and bends down, close enough to notice all the little details. The ones he’s been too sheepish to indulge in before last night.

The tiny hairs on Steve’s forearm. The creases in his t-shirt. The bit of dried toothpaste on his chin. None of it should make his cheeks feel this flushed, but they do.

He lets the rush of bravery wash through him as he kisses Steve on the tip of his nose. Just the way Steve must’ve done to him. It’s swift, lighter than he means for it to be. Barely touching. But it’s enough to switch his heart rate up a few notches, pulsing jumping in his wrist.

Eddie steps away, waiting to see if Steve wakes up. Not entirely sure if he wants that or if he’d rather keep this memory to himself.

“Thanks… by the way.” Eddie adds, brushing the tips of his fingers over Steve’s hand. Wishing he could trace the lines in his palm. Rewind back to last night and pause it there indefinitely. “I’ll tell you again when you’re up, but yeah.”

“Thank you, Steve Harrington.”

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #slight buckingham because I said so #lexssummerfanworkschallenge #biggest of shoutouts to lex for giving us this space to create and share together!!!#is the sleep depravation making Eddie good at flirting???#or is it all in his overactive imagination???#the world may never know #also Eddie is wearing one of Robin's shirts bc he never does laundry #that's not relevant - it's just a brainworm that he ironically wears her marching band tees #okay okay pls enjoy 💖#(and pretend I'm in a timezone where it's still August pls)

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thew1ldblueyonder · 9 months

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Forehead kisses are for friends?

Here's the thing about Robin and Steve; their friendship is one of a kind, and to the untrained eye their tactlessness, emotional and physical closeness could signal something romantic. But Eddie knows well that's not the case.

He does notice how much of their casual interactions go against the norm of platonic: sleeping in the same bed, sleeping on each other's laps, etc., but Eddie has never cared much about the norm. He himself goes very much against it, still a one man army facing off against conformity every day, at least in the little things.

The problem comes when he has to place himself into the equation that is Robin & Steve.

It happens like this:

Eddie hosts movie night. Normally Steve does, but this time he really wanted to do it. It seemed like a good idea.

Him, Jonathan, Argyle and Steve could smoke up a couple of joints - God knows they're all desperately in need of a distraction - and maybe Nancy would join in too - and if Nancy joins, Robin does too - and what better place to do that than at his trailer? The whole place already smells slightly of weed and the neighbors don't give a shit about it.

It's also a point of pride for him. Yes, the trailer is small. But it's alright. And he wants his newfound friends to find a home there, too. He wants to feel a little useful, at least.

So, people start arriving. Nancy drives Robin up, Jonathan and Argyle come together. Argyle is already spacey. Eddie's got the movie prepped, snacks on the table, and four traumatized monster hunters restlessly huddling up on his couch, and around it. He has placed some cushions on the floor as makeshift sitting places.

It's only Steve that's missing.

Robin and him are sitting on the floor, an empty cushion reserved for him between them, and she looks as restless as he feels.

See, Eddie's been kind if permanently on edge since the upside-down bullshit. He needs these people to be in places where they're supposed to be, when they're supposed to be. The whole thing kinda made him a control freak, sue him. But when his people are where he can see them he knows they're not in trouble. He knows they aren't getting pulled into the air, bones snapping like twigs...

When the door opens and Steve steps through with an apologetic smile Eddie lets out a relieved sigh. Robin perks up, and before Steve could even finish his explanation for his tardiness - something about keys, but Eddie thinks he's lying and would bet that he's just had a bad hair day and has been spending way too much time trying to fix it - she reaches for him, like a child wanting to be picked up.

Steve goes to her immediately, grabs her hands gently, and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

Not unusual. Eddie almost chuckles at the sweet and casual display of affection, ready to be jokingly snarky, to urge Steve to sit down, finally.

Except, faced with Steve Harrington, placing two hands on the side of his head and bending down, his head quiets immediately. It happens in an instant. Steve reaches down, and kisses him between his eyebrows, redirecting his bangs with one hand. It's short, and thank god for that, because Eddie stops breathing entirely for the duration of the thing. Just a quick platonic smack of lips.

He doesn't even notice the way Eddie sucks in a breath, frozen in place. Doesn't seem to see how he stays frozen, even after Steve sits down next to him, chatting idly with Argyle, leaning back against his leg. He's entirely unaware of his emotional turmoil.

Eddie blinks, his head fuzzy. The feeling of soft lips against his forehead still lingering. He looks ahead of him, and then looks at Robin, who's already watching him. She has an expression of curiosity, that he unfortunately cannot satisfy at all.

Steve doesn't kiss anybody else on the forehead.

Eddie spends the whole night thinking about it.

Was it just because he was also on the floor? Was it a bit? Did he somehow become part of the weird symbiosis that's Robin & Steve? Is he a platonic soulmate now?

Can he not be?

Can he get another kiss? (Preferably on the mouth.)

#steddie #steddie fic #Ficlet #st fic #TheWildBlueYonder fic #forehead kisses #I just wrote this real quick idk #just for fun #Pointless fluff just cuz I can #fluff without plot #Fwp? lol #I'm not even going to pretend this won't have a thousand mistakes #Roll with it pls #I'm way too tired

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voidshrub · 3 months

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Hiii hello first art post!!! I hope you guys like addi fanart :D

Woag wow they kiss,, Context? Backstory?? Sorry this is all for the aesthetic I dunno how they got like this :3

Click (pink) belongs to @brightgoat and Link (green) belongs to @e40536 :D

This is the only post I’ll ever be brave enough (and proud enough of) to tag them on probably because I am an anxious coward. Also expect me to draw them a bunch. I might be late to the hype but the brainrot is still strong (Help)

#deltarune #addisons #pink addison #green addison #browser history #If anyone has any lore docs of them #wink wink nudge nudge #please give them to me feed my addiction #bush art #I am so nervous to post this help me #new to tumblr pls be nice aaaaa #pls pretend I’m totally not late to the party and this fandom is totally alive #ok that’s all off to my moss hole bye #ALSO I WILL CREDIT EVEN IF I DON’T TAG I JUST HAVE BIG ANXIETIES OK BYE FORREAL THIS TIME

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imthursdaysyme · 3 months

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I think Itd be funny if Steve accidentally became obsessed with puzzles but won't admit it the same way dads watch shows by standing off to the side. robin has them out and he complains but she finds him 2hrs later still standing doing puzzles and he's like a caught raccoon

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #listen I just think it would be so funny #man is like uh no I don't do puzzles but also completely unrelated there's the piece you're looking for #constantly hovering and pretending he's not #robin loosing her shit like istg come sit and join me or leave #and he's like god FINE IF YOU INSIST #and she's like bro I said or leave too #and he's like WOE IS ME- ROBERTO FORCING ME TO SIT AND FO THE PUZZLE WOTH HER #and she's like Steve pls stop #I AM BEING DETAINED AGAINST MY W—#Steve would you stop yell—#—FORCED INTO MATRIARCHAL TYRANNY FORCUNG ME—#—esteban stop taking all the pieces-#I AM SHACKLED AND CH—#Steve how are you taking so many pieces wait stop how are you so fast—#BOUND TO THE WOODEN CHAIR AND COLORFUL GRANDMA ACTIVITIES WITH—#Steve please let me do half stop—#NO ONE TO SAVE ME #Steve how did you do it that fast wait stop you finished it what are you—#I MUST NOW TAKE RANSOM—#steve put it down—#TO HOLD MY CAPTIVE ACCOUNTA—#—steve please where are you taking the puzzle and how are you holding it without break—whERE ARE YOU GOING???#I WILL BE FREE OF MY CHAI— oh haha hey jon no i’m not doing anything strange no nance i’m just chilling—#YOU HAVE BEEN YELLING AND MONOLOGUEING FOR THE PAST THIRTY MI UTES LIKE A THEATER KID WHAT DO U MEAN CHILLING #i was doing nOTHING of the sort—#oh god he was doing the acting thing again with the medival imagery thing wasn’t he #nancy pls tell me he hasnt done this to you— oh god steve what is wrong with you

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thesherrinfordfacility · 4 months

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timeline rundown

tbh this is mainly just for my reference and i will probably come back to it at a later date; a lot of other much cleverer people are spotting some scenes that appear to be out of order, and before deep-diving into scrutinising each scene and frame, i decided to (for the first run, anyway - im sure others have gotten much further ahead, but i personally like to do my own research) just go with a surface-level, basic approach of looking for time indicators.

edit 02/01: additions!!!✨

couple of notes:

this is initially going with the assumption that no fuckery is going on, and only highlights where things appear to be consistent or inconsistent

on the clockhands, and which way round to read them, this caused me no end of headache. for example, reading the ornate hand as the hour makes ep6 sensical, but then makes ep1 gibberish (and vice versa). so, im doing both! and colour coding them!

blue: ornate hand is the hour, other hand is the minute

orange: ornate hand is the minute, other hand is the hour

green: a timestamp that isn't shown by the clock, or has been surmised/hypothesised.

you can make your own conclusion as to which reads make the most sense, but i'll be adding commentary anyway!!!✨

episode 1:

aziraphale gets maggie's letter: the only thing we know is that the bookshop is closed which, given aziraphale's stunning opening hours policy, doesn't mean a whole lot but for the most part, he seems on average to open the shop between 9.30-10am, and close at 3.30pm

shostakovich: aziraphale gets the records and heads off to listen to them, saying that he will be doing so for the next 21 minutes. i know there have been theories out there stemming from mismatched serial number on the record - but for my money, the explanation is a bit more watsonian than that; that aziraphale has a certain amount of free time to chill out to some music before something else happens (ie., to me, before crowley arrives to the shop). therefore, i would say that it logically follows that the previous scene, and this one, is late afternoon after the shop closes.

crowley in st james' park: as the camera sweeps past buckingham palace, you can hear bell chimes in the background, likely posed as coming from big ben. it starts with the cambridge chimes melody, falls silent, and then rings the number of tolls for the hour. when the agent joins crowley on the bench, i can hear a count of five tolls, for 5pm. example of the 5pm toll here.

gabriel/jim arrives: when aziraphale pauses the record, it appears to be 4.20pm.

when jim is handed the hot chocolate, the main bookshop clock reads as 5.20pm, or 4.25pm. seems odd that there would be such a gap for the former, (albeit plausible given that aziraphale gets jim settled and fitted with a blanket etc.), but the latter is more likely.

- capture of the two preceding timestamps

shax and crowley again: crowley's phone reads as 10.35am which, needless to say, does not fit in the above and below timeline at all.

jim and aziraphale conversation continues: the main bookshop clock reads as 6.20pm, or 4.30pm. again, given that aziraphale immediately looks in the box after retrieving it from outside, makes the latter more likely. it also makes sense taking into account the following hypothesised timestamps.

aziraphale calls crowley: not time-stamped, but crowley notes that he is 'two minutes' away when aziraphale calls. jim doesn't appear to have moved, so presumably the call is made soon after the last scene, and when they are both in the café, it still seems to be fully open and running. if we accept that the start of ep1 is most likely around 4pm, and the aziraphale/jim conversation wraps up around 4.30pm-ish, this would make sense - that crowley arrives to the café around 4.40pm. they then obviously leave, and it cuts to:

maggie gives nina the record: same as the above; maggie remarks that she wants a little something "for the end of the day", and nina says she has to finish closing up. nina has cleared away the dishes from the boys' table, the café is has just emptied, and nina's colleague is getting ready to leave. if we treat this scene as concurrent with the "ah! gabriel!" scene, probably around 4.45pm.

crowley lightning strike: maggie is chucking away her tea bag, and nina is upending chairs. if we say that the "ah! gabriel!" and "so did i!" scenes together take maybe 5-10 minutes in-universe, could hazard that the lightning strike is around 4.50pm - 4.55pm.

interlude, where we then return to crowley getting back to his bentley, and it's nighttime. then gets abducted by beelzebub, before squealing off at 110mph+ back to the bookshop. there isn't a timestamp until:

from @katalina27ua (thank you!), crowley restores power: nina's phone reads as 9:02. this would suggest the morning, but i would suggest that given phones can be set to either the 12- or 24-hour clock, and coupled with darkness and emptiness outside, it's 9:02pm.

the dance: the main bookshop clock reads 1.45am, or 9.05pm.

episode 2:

"what comes after 'K'?": when aziraphale gets startled by jim, the main bookshop clock reads as around 6.53am, or 10.35am.

archangels arrive: the main bookshop clock reads as 09.55am, or 11.45am.

aziraphale starts playing the record: as has been pointed out by @canarybell, this scene is so clearly cut in half from the muriel-arrival scene* in ep3. possibly for timing issues, but still out of sequence of the above; im very tentatively putting the time of the main bookshop clock as somewhere around 11.40am or 8am... only the former could work in the ep2 timeline, but again, it is reasonably certain that this is cut from the beginning of ep3 where, in the context of that scene, it is most likely 8am*, and this scene's place in ep2 is just a continuity issue/post-filming to make up timings.

dirty donkey: no time-stamp, but going on face value of how packed the pub is, seems to be at least mid-late afternoon, or post-lunch weekend. im erring towards the former - that people have come in post-work, and it's somewhere around 3.30pm onwards.

jim remembers: the above makes sense with this scene in context, as the main bookshop clock reads 5.20pm or 4.28pm.

post-job flashback: when we return to aziraphale in modern day, and he calls for crowley, the main bookshop clock reads as 6.30pm.

crowley/nina conversation: the record store is still be open in this scene, which would be odd for 6.30pm onwards, albeit not impossible. the café is definitely closed (it's empty and you can see chairs on tables), and nina is only just leaving/finishing up the close. in which case, it makes sense that aziraphale dozed off for a couple of hours, crowley to have wandered off, and nina to have closed up (if her café closing time is, say, 6pm). so, im going with this being around 6.30pm also.

episode 3:

note: i miss out a fair few scenes in this episode and ep4, because a lot is so flimsy in the speculation. with scenes in the bookshop, we can help gauge time with the shops/crowds around it etc, but in ep3 - eg. when aziraphale is in the bentley - i don't think i have enough surrounding data to make a reliable estimate on when it is... so essentially, im just going on what timestamps we do have.

returning to *the muriel arrival scene from ep2: if we accept that this is meant to be joined with the ep2 scene, the main bookshop clock reads as, most likely, 8am (but reminder: could also be 11.40am) when he sits down to start going through the articles and drawn gabriel, which seems to take some time (given the next timestamp):

however, when muriel turns up at the door, and aziraphale pauses the record, the clock reads as what i think is 7.50am or 9.35am (quality is such that i can't quite tell which hand is which, but i think it's this way round). i think, however, given the continuation of the scene, the latter is the most likely:

cupperty: when aziraphale enters the main room with the teacups, the main bookshop clocks reads as 9.50am.

crowley enters: clock still reading as 9.50am.

- capture of all three preceding timestamps

a hefty jump forward to the gravity conversation: the main bookshop clock reads as 6.17pm, or 3.30pm.

another jump forward, when aziraphale gets to the graveyard, and borrows the phone: clock on the phone reads as 5.30pm.

crowley picks up the call: the main bookshop clock shows as around 5.25pm - 5.28pm - so a couple of minutes' difference, but still fairly reliable.

episode 4:

frankly this episode is anyone's guess, given that there's only two main scenes in modern day. but to start, aziraphale is obviously driving back during the night, so possibly late evening/very early morning. he says that he is late, and so presumably he was meant to get back to london before nightfall/at least, before its very late in the evening.

aziraphale parks up: nina's phone in the café reads as 6.47am. this is supported by the background crashing sounds; with lots of restaurants around, likely bin lorries emptying the bottlebanks/bins.

episode 5:

the opening, when aziraphale leaves to go invite the other shopkeepers, shows that the bookshop is closed but the café and marguerite's is open; the former doesn't really mean jack shit, but i reckon marguerite's is likely to be a lunch/dinner joint. so, with that in mind, likely to be sometime in the afternoon.

crowley has his 'oh' moment, and whistles aziraphale over: we obviously don't know how long crowley has been sat there, but long enough that the patrons have swapped over - so let's say maybe an hour, and again still likely afternoon.

crowley then leaves to go confront gabriel, and aziraphale presumably follows up behind him shortly after. when crowley returns downstairs, and aziraphale is sprucing up the shop: quality is once again dogshite so i can't be sure which way round the hands are, but fairly certain the main bookshop clock reads as 12.30pm or 6pm. the latter seems the most likely, given the following scenes/dialogue:

aziraphale sends out crowley to find nina and maggie, and make sure "they are on their way" - it indicates that the party, set to start at 6.30pm, is soon. rightly enough, crowley pops round to the record store and it's closed, but maggie is inside - and nina has closed up the café and set to leave also.

mrs sandwich and then mr brown arrive: the main bookshop clock reads as around 6.20pm - 6.30pm, but we then don't get a clear shot of the clock for the rest of the episode. we know it suddenly gets really dark as soon as nina flies into the bookshop, but given the demon raid going on outside it's not really a reliable indicator of time.

so up until now, ive been pretty certain that the orange timestamps are the more correct, as they seem to flow the most with the general in-universe happenings of the story, and correlate most with the external green timestamps of the eps. however, ep6 goes very screwy in this respect, and it seems that the blue timestamps suddenly become the more accurate.

episode 6:

demons enter, attack, and the bookcase falls/maggie and nina hold them off with fire extinguishers: the main bookshop clock reads as 2.30am or 6.12am.

crowley comes back from heaven, and the demons arrive: the main bookshop clock reads as 6.02am or 12.30am/pm.

just before the gabriel/beelzebub flashbacks: the clock still reads as just gone past 6am or 12.30am/pm.

gabriel returns: the main bookshop clock, over maggie's shoulder, is out of focus so i can't quite see which way round the hands are, but i think reads as either 7am or 8am, or 11.37am, just before they're ushered out by crowley. either one of the two blue timestamps seems the most likely.

crowley drops off nina and maggie: nina remarks that she should have been open "half an hour ago", which if she normally turns up to open up the shop anywhere between 6.30am - 7am (as per her phone from the end of ep4 - 6.47am), makes 8am more likely - that she turns up at around 6.45am, ready to open at 7.30am.

angels and demons arguing: the main bookshop clock reads, just behind dagon's head, as approximately 08.25am or 4.40am/pm.

michael threatens aziraphale, and metatron arrives: the main bookshop clocks reads as 8am (9am?) or 12.43pm.

"extremely alcoholic breakfast at the ritz": reliably informs, for the avoidance of any doubt, that this scene is in the morning. indeed, when crowley gets out of the armchair, the clock shows again that its around 09.02am, or 12.45pm.

crowley tidies up the bookshop: the main bookshop clocks reads as 09.23am, or 4.47am/pm.

"id better start talking": the main bookshop clock reads as 09.25am or 5.45am/pm. it remains this time for the whole first half of the feral domestic, right up until the kiss.

crowley leaves, and metatron returns: the main bookshop clock now reads as approximately 09.40am or 8.47am. we are shown the scene in pretty close, tight-knit order, with no conceivable gaps in the scene where 20 minutes could have gone missing.

aziraphale leaves the bookshop: the clock remains at 09.40am or 08.47am

again from @katalina27ua! crowley at the bentley: the time on his watch reads as, at least (from what i can tell at the quality i have), within the ninth hour. however, the linked promo shot shows clearer - if we accept this to be taken directly from live filming etc - that the clockface reads ~09:15am. edit 03/01: however, there is a different promo photo where it appears that the minute hand is pointing just between the 4-5, reading at 09:25am (i have hit the photo limit but will add to the rb!)

so. couple of things to talk about here.

for the most part between eps 1-5, the clock has been pretty consistent with not only keeping track of time as scenes have developed etc., but also matching up with other instances of where a timestamp is given to us outside of the bookshop. with that in mind, it is highly likely that the clock is a reliable source of marking the in-narrative time of the story. this, for me, is evident with the orange timestamps - where the ornate hand is the minute hand, and other marks minutes.

however, when we hit ep6, it goes to shit. the orange timestamps (providing that ive tracked this all correctly - but error on my part is a very high possibility, i couldn't be bothered to go get pen and paper) suddenly go screwy, and it's the blue ones that make more sense.

we'll revisit that second point in a minute, but returning to the first point - this tells me a crucial thing (imo). first, that the clock can be accepted as the constant in the equation upon which to compare the variables. therefore, for example, crowley's bell tolls in st james' park, and his phone clock, are immediately apparent as 'out of sequence'. the same goes for the part in ep2 where aziraphale starts drawing gabriel - this of course could just be down to a non/extra-diegetic we-need-to-cut-ep3-but-plump-out-ep2 reason (and i think that's probably the case), but crowley's phone is so purposefully and blatantly (and arguably needlessly - could have just answered straightaway and achieved the same result) displayed with the 'wrong' time, that it doesn't feel accidental.

so if the timeline more likely follows the orange, why does it go completely bonkers in ep6, and instead start to follow the blue? god knows, i really don't have much of an answer beyond the "freaky-deaky time shit is going on", and maybe "the demon incursion/crowley going to heaven/the angel and demon stand-off/unreliable narratorship all round might be something to do with it." but to my mind, it is the blue timeline that suddenly makes narrative sense - it's likely morning, crowley supports this with "breakfast at the ritz", etc.

similarly, what is interesting to note is that despite neil's answer that the 20-minute skip during the kiss was a continuity error (and i will say, full disclaimer - perfectly prepared to still accept this as the truth), the crew/team seem to have been fairly hot on keeping the clock otherwise within continuity for the whole show. for a scene of this magnitude, where they know it's going to be emotionally upheaving for fans, leaving them gasping for an Explanation for how it all went down, and therefore scrutinise it for every little detail? sorry, im personally not buying that it wasn't deliberate... will probably end up eating my words, but there we are.

my brain has melted out of my ears trying to wrap my head around this, but i'll probably come back to it at some point with, no doubt, some corrections - and some further thoughts✨

#good omens #honestly where there are errors just pls pretend you didnt see them. writing this has aged me by at least a decade

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