#Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com is the 103rd most visited website in the world.

#Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag

naehja · 8 months

Text

And it's my second The Promised Neverland Fanfic

It's in french, because i'm more comfortable to write fanfic in my native tongue. ^^"

Summary: January 2046. Peter Ratri has a diabolical idea to punish Isabella after the evasion of the children. Not only will she be named Grandmother and will be forced to continue to perpetuate the system, but she will have to have two children. A son to replace Ray, a daughter to take over in the future.

Thank to @officersnickers to have helped me to put all my ideas in orders =)

#the promised neverland #tpn emma #tpn Ray #Tpn Norman #tpn Isabella #Ray and Isabella #Isabella #Ray #Norman #Grace Field Children #Peter Ratri #tpn fanfic #Yakusoku no Neverland #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #fullscoreshenanigans I borrow you this tag because it fit perfectly in the fic =)#Ray and Isabella work on their relationship #Gonna be hard for both of them #Ray will overworking because of course he will #Peter Ratri is a asshole

4 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 4 months

Text

If I were greedy…

I spend a disproportionate amount of time appreciating the addition of these four simple words to the "I really wanted to develop these myself…" line in the manga side scene with how much insight they provide the audience into Ray's mindset during this arc.

Greedy people don't pull off successful escapes. Greedy people risk getting their friends killed. Greedy people end up losing everything.

(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 4)

It's a layered message to Isabella as well.

You've known what I've wanted for a long time now. None of those three things have changed. You don't have to worry about me betraying you.

The way he looks at her when he says it, too; tries to make himself both nonthreatening to not invoke her ire or suspicion, yet aware enough to convey he can still competently complete his side of their agreement (along with a bit of pettiness, wanting to believe he has more control of the situation and not wanting to let it seem like she can pull a fast one on him. Knowing what's to come in less than 48 hours is heartbreaking), all while having the most subtle sad and tired tinge to his eyes and subdued grin to mask it.

(Because what if things were different for the two of them. For all of them.)

He already believes he's asking for so much, and yet…

(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 93)

They're worth it.

#The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #FSS Chatter #TPN S1 #TPN S1e07 #TPN Ray #Ray #Isabella #Norrayemma #Noremray #Full Score Trio #Emma #Norman #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #TPN 181.1 #TPN 004 #TPN 093 #Pre-Canon #Introduction Arc #Escape Arc #Goldy Pond Battle Arc #just scrolling through all my drafts here waiting for food to cook like #god i might be tempted to make a REN moodboard edit with him and that caption in the center surrounded by Emma and Norman panels #just need one of him where you can't see his eyes but he's got a tiny smile on or smth #child thinking he's greedy for loving his friends and wanting them to survive a dystopic hell world m'boy's got all the issues 🖤🖤#but that fierce determination and loyalty to see this through #is what makes him being able to grow and see beyond said mindset all the more rewarding and endearing

75 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 2 months

Note

hello, i was late to the fandom so i might have missed out on this discourse but do we ever find out the real content of Ray's letter to Isabella? Is it something of a plot point the author hasn't developed in canon? If so, what would the plot be you think? Thank you so much!!

Same hat, anon 😎🤝😎 (coming up on my third anniversary of first discovering the series just this month)

Shirai has never officially, explicitly stated in an interview what's in the letter Ray writes in chapter 22/S1 episode 7, but I've talked about this before and personally find it funny how he made a big deal out of the mystery surrounding it back in a 2019 Jump interview (translated here):

When I feel most people’s first guess as to what was in it after the escape arc concluded was eventually confirmed in December 2020 with the release of chapter 181.3:

A farewell letter from a son to his mother that reveals their biological connection when headquarters purposely kept it a secret.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 2)

It's meant to be such a huge revelation it stops Krone in her tracks and deters her from digging around in Ray's room further to discover the rewards he's been receiving for six years and the lighter fluid he's been stockpiling for five.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 1 Q& A | Chapter 22; Krone evens whips out records she brought along in her suitcase from headquarters to corroborate what she's read.)

I've also talked before about how Ray's retaliation was threefold in its pettiness, and this letter falls into points 2 & 3. After years of bottling up his anger and resentment toward her, he wanted to incriminate her by implicating she at very least knew about the escape, potentially that she even helped with it, all because she knew of their biological connection and wanted him to survive (the same thing he wished she would have said to him back on his sixth birthday at the gate):

(Chapter 181.1)

He found it sickening how she could choose to prolong her own life by sacrificing all his siblings over the course of her tenure at Grace Field. With this, he thought he would seal her death at the hands of the demons she groveled before like a dog, while he would die on his own terms as a human.

(Chapter 14)

What he didn't count on was Isabella's prioritizing results over rules was something that was enabled by her mother, to the point they were willing to remove Krone from plant no.3 altogether.

(Chapter 23 | Chapter 181.3)

Ray assumed Krone did not have the means to contact headquarters like Isabella did, so she would keep the bait and bide her time until presented with the opportunity to reveal it to someone higher in the chain of command. Ray assumed Krone would still be at Grace Field at the time of the escape, and that after he was dead and the four other oldest kids were gone and headquarters was looking for an explanation for how a blunder of this magnitude could have possibly happened, Krone would show her hand to usurp Isabella's position.

It's why he's so caught off-guard when Isabella reveals she made a move first.

(Chapter 24)

As for why Shirai gave conflicting information about this, I'm assuming he wanted to leave the door open for multiple possibilities before his health tanked and he began aggressively cutting off story branches so he could still complete the series under his own power and maintain his sense of artistic integrity.

(October 2020 Series Completion Interview)

And that's how we arrive at the contents of the letter being what a lot of fans suspected from the jump.

34 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 2 months

Note

I have the headcanon that Leslie lived until 11, even if he had not super good scores, because he was a little genius of music.

Not everyone can create a song, not everyone can learn super quickly to play a music. I don't remember which song he wanted to learn before his deparature, but i think that it was a difficult one (we don't see him train a lot in the story too) and he plays it before going to the gate, without any partition to help him and without doing any mistake.

I headcanon that she demons keep all the little genius, even if they not have good scores and are genius in other ways, because they think that it worth to keep them.

A kid has not good scores but it a genius with drawing and creates super beautiful things? It's worth to keep him until the age limit.

Leslie is super good in music, learn quickly song and has not need of a partition when he plays? it's worth to wait until he's 11 (close of 12). It could also be a kid who has a beautiful voice ansd sings super well for exemple.

etc....

Norman was a genius in studies and stuff so they keep him beyond 12 by sending him to lambda but people can be genius in other ways that in studies. A genius can be super good in something but kinda bad in another things.

I feel like this is essentially canon, no?

The only birthdays mentioned in "The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List" are Isabella's twelfth birthday and Ray's sixth birthday, so contrary to what the wiki currently says, it doesn't look like Leslie was shipped out exactly on his twelfth since they don't celebrate or even mention it.

(Leslie's page on the TPN Wiki | TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 1)

They are among the oldest though since Isabella turns twelve within a year of his shipment while not being physically able to jump atop the wall as we see her do in chapter 37/S1 episode 12 yet due to the sprained ankle she sustains over the course of the light novel, in addition to spending weeks to months writing him letters that never received a response and what finalized her decision to make the jump in the first place.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 8 | Chapter 9)

But it's still soon enough that she discovers the truth of the house during the night of the first snowfall of the year, which could be anywhere from late October 2025 to January 2026 (since the full score trio deduces in chapter 5 that Grace Field is located in [the demon world equivalent of] the northern hemisphere, in addition to "The Guiding Star" short story mentioning them planning on using Polaris to find each other again after they go off to foster homes, winter would be during this time of the year).

I'm inclined to go with January 2026 since we don't see snow on the night of January 15, 2046, and also because I feel there's some poignancy in what would have been Leslie's twelfth birthday month getting to Isabella as the final push to make her seek him out. He surely would have written her in response to the birthday wishes she mailed him. (This is also why I feel his shipment was after September 9, 2025 because him not sending her any birthday well wishes would have tipped her off sooner, too).

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 9)

This could be an oddity in the translation, but Isabella also mentions how her her twelfth birthday was close enough that they could mark it on the calendar while the snow was piling up outside. Assuming they put up a new calendar at the start of January, she discovered the truth only in 2026, and then spent over half a year trying to come up with some sort of plan to escape (and isn't there a wealth of potential there, thinking of the adversarial atmosphere between her and Sarah during those few months and how that would be replicated in the next generation between her and Ray, although not 1:1.)

I don't remember which song he wanted to learn before his departure, but i think that it was a difficult one (we don't see him train a lot in the story too) and he plays it before going to the gate, without any partition to help him and without doing any mistake.

He learned to play Nocturne No.2! Though c72684, who translated the light novel, wasn't entirely certain the larger body of work it belonged to.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 2)

25 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 3 months

Note

You know, at the beginning of the story, Connie says that she has probably a total bad score to the exams "like always". If she had very bad (or the worse) results since a while, then his shippement days was decided for a while, since she has been shipped two weeks after her birthday. And Isabella knews who will be the next shippement three or four months before it happens. She knew that Connie was the next. She knew, when Connie reached 6, that she had only 2 weeks to live. And then, she took the time to make a plushie for Connie's birthday. And Little Bunny isn't a little plushie, it is kinda big. Isabella created a big toy for a kid who was going to enjoy it for only 15 days.

She wanted to make her happy, to give her joy for the little time that she still had. She wanted Connie to live those days in happiness. And i'm sure that she did that for any kids who was going to be shipped. (a lot of kids receive a gift for their 6 years old, the goods as the bads but maybe it's for cover why the bad scores kids has spoiled this famous day)

It's the biggest proof that she loves all her kids (even Ray, even if she has more mixed feelings toward him). She can't do anything to save them or she would be the next dinner and with no garantee that the woman who will replace her will be as loving then her. She is as much captive than the kids (even more, because she knows and she has the cheap in her heart.)

She had to see them die every time. Clearly she is still here after Connie's death so she has witnessed everything. She has seen so much of her kids diying while being unable to protect them because nothing could have been do, except make their too short lifes as much happy than possible.

(I'm sure that she was suffering with the idea to shipp the Full Score Trio soon (very soon for Ray, some months for Norman and in a little more of half a year for Emma), even Ray, and she was probably in denial about her son)

I think that Norman and Emma were too betrayed and angry to really understand that her affection was geniune and real. It's only thank to the distance, during 2 years, that they were able to think about it. For Ray, i think that a part of him knew that she really loved them but still sees her as the ones who sacrified his siblings. A part of him must have been in denial for a while about it too (like mother, like son).

The distance was good for everyone. The kids were able to understand that Isabella loved them for real, Ray was able to be willing to forgive her and eventually start over (realizing that he loved her too), Isabella realized that she loved her son.

And then came that asshole demon

Obnoxious pedantry but Conny's birthday is the third of September (@just-like-playing-tag put together an invaluable birthday chart here. September is one of the busier months with five birthdays in it.) So she had a bit more time with Little Bunny, but it's negligible in the grand scheme of things. There were two years' worth of low scores sealing her fate.

Based on that, this answer in the mystic code book, and all the toys we see in her hidden office in chapter 17/S1 episode 6, it's a safe bet she either made or had gifts delivered from headquarters for each of the children. The demons wouldn't question it as an easily justifiable and paltry expense to further cultivate a positive environment for the children's development, and with them not caring what became of the presents afterward even if a child packed it with them in their suitcase when they were shipped out, Isabella could keep them as mementos of all the children she raised.

It's the biggest proof that she loves all her kids

This I think depends on an individual's definition of love though, and whether Isabella could truly, fully love her children in such an oppressive framework.

(S1 Episode 8 | S1 Episode 10)

I will always come back to and obsess over the sequences of Isabella silently smiling as Ray struggles against her before locking him in Krone's old room and Ray looking completely disillusioned and despondent as Isabella walks off and smirks that they added into the anime. No one else is around who would be cognizant enough to notice. She doesn't have to put up an act to maintain a sense of calm and normalcy for anyone.

Yet here she is, quietly relishing in having seemingly defeated the children's plan to upset the status quo and her lifestyle. It's entirely for herself.

During this era of the story, she loves the children in her charge, but only to the point that they don’t inconvenience her; only to the point where they don’t impede her goal of survival ("longer than anyone"). It's impossible to live under such an oppressive, violent, monotonous, stagnating system and not have it fundamentally alter your perception of the world around you and how you interact with it to some degree. She even makes the distinction herself in one of her most memorable quotes.

(Chapter 37)

To love them normally, as opposed to the love that would always be tainted as long as it was within the confines of the farm system where she justified walking at least sixty children to their deaths over the course of her tenure to maintain her sense of cognitive dissonance.

To quote @nullaby, who phrases it very poignantly in this post:

for as much as isabella did love her kids, as nice as it would’ve been to just raise them all like a normal mother should, the backbone of her character journey &. ultimate redemption was laid out plain and clear right to ray’s face that everything, including his birth, was all just collateral damage of isabella’s desire to survive in this world as according to the demon’s rules, longer than most ever could, and find some sort of meaning to all this sacrifice in the only option that’d ever been available to cattle like them. the tragedy is that the prioritizing of her own position trumps that love of a mother more times that it ever didn’t, and that’s the mom that ray was left with.

(Chapter 7 | Chapter 16)

Even if she found herself slipping into the illusion that had been crafted throughout the rest of the day, on days where there were no shipments and everything was fine, maybe even great, every night she would be reminded of reality. That she was ultimately a pawn. A caged, useful dog, if you want to have what she says to Ray in chapter 24/S1 episode 8 be her projecting her self-loathing of what she's stooped to onto him (and then going further, making his affirmation of his humanity in choosing his death an incensed retort back at her as much as the demons).

Ray is the living, breathing reminder of one of the worst acts of violence the farm system inflected on her. For a six years, she may have been able to push aside any memories and thoughts of the child she bore, but on his sixth birthday (his false birthday; if she doesn't think of it in the moment, then surely afterward when they're celebrating it at the house), he "robbed Isabella of that easy, blissful delusion," to again quote nullaby. Such potent, aggrieved anger mixed with relishing her dominance over him bleeding into her tone and body language and tinging the framework of this scene; I really love how Cloverworks adapted it with their budgetary constraints.

I think that Norman and Emma were too betrayed and angry to really understand that her affection was genuine and real. It's only thank to the distance, during 2 years, that they were able to think about it. For Ray, i think that a part of him knew that she really loved them but still sees her as the ones who sacrificed his siblings. A part of him must have been in denial for a while about it too (like mother, like son). The distance was good for everyone. The kids were able to understand that Isabella loved them for real, Ray was able to be willing to forgive her and eventually start over (realizing that he loved her too), Isabella realized that she loved her son.

I do agree that being free of the suffocating environment of Grace Field would give everyone different perspectives on their relationship with their mother, with Emma being the most understanding of Isabella's circumstances and accepting her in her totality; the kindness and love she was always capable of just as much as the violence and cruelties she inflicted to maintain the status quo.

For Norman, the utter chaos his nervous system was in as he was walking to the gate, fully believing he was about to die only to be handed off to another cage and subjected to experiments as his mother sent him off with one last gentle hug, would heighten his senses and emotions and in turn make this a visceral core memory for him.

(S2 Episode 8)

He undoubtedly dwelled on it during his fifteen months at Lambda, grappling with coming to logically understanding her circumstances more over time with that distance, his stark morality, and, no matter how much he might try to squash down his feelings to avoid confronting his own vulnerability during such a precarious period, how deeply her betrayal hurt him. I don't know if he'd ever be able to fully let that go, even if his immediate reaction to her death was one of sadness due to how sudden it was and being robbed of the chance to see what kind of relationship with her would be possible.

Similar to Norman, Ray can logically understand her circumstances, and I do believe deep down there was a part of him that desperately desired a normal, loving relationship with her, as much as he also tried to squash it down. It's part of why he's so confident she wouldn't throw him away, why he looks so devastated when she cuts him off,

(S1 Episode 5 | S1 Episode 8)

I was doing a good job. To you, I’m…

(Even after all this time…you still can't find it in your heart to love me as the child you gave birth to. | Chapter 181.1)

and why even after all of that pain and loss, he still hums the lullaby she sang to him in the womb as a way of consoling himself before his attempted suicide (because it's the only way he believes he can atone for what he's done).

Ray's vast library of knowledge comes from his research. His memory is one of his most powerful assets; his blessing and his burden. Isabella had proven time and time again to him that she was willing to sacrifice children for her own survival.

And yet there was still some selfish part of him that hoped maybe, just maybe, she would have carved out a little niche in her heart for him after spending all that time together, after sharing the burden of the secret of the house with him, after finding out about their shared blood. That all of that had to mean something to her.

But tragically all they shared engendered a unique ire toward him instead, born from a deep self-loathing that, once she replaced her own mother as Grandma, she allowed herself to reflect upon more thoroughly and came to deeply regret.

(TPN Light Novel 2: Moms’ Song of Remembrance - “The Starry Sky and Leslie’s List” Chapter 9; Isabella being an unreliable narrator and forcing a mental wedge between her and Ray as both a child in her charge in general and specifically as her biological son. She "held no particular maternal feelings for Ray" being as much a denial of any love for him as being a moment where she tries to place herself above the petty anger and resentment she has for him | Chapter 181.3; the framing of the bottom right panel confirming she did view all the birthday gifts she gave her children as treasures)

The damage was done though, between that and losing Norman, one of the two most precious people in his life he spent six years bearing the pain of loneliness and sorrow for. Even with Norman proving to be alive, like him I think it would be hard for Ray to untangle logically, pragmatically understanding Isabella's circumstances from the abuse he endured.

(Chapter 169; the conflicting feelings he held for her even two years after escaping Grace Field)

People aren't their trauma, but it would be disingenuous to say it didn't shape him. A learned response and association with her etched into his mind that I don't believe would be shed so easily. He wasn't by Isabella's side as she made her two-year journey of redemption as Grandma. He only saw the final result weighed against years of memories of her calculating iron woman persona, of every happy one his siblings had tinged with the knowledge that she would eventually set them up for slaughter.

(Chapter 174)

To quote nullaby for a third time:

there’s a whole big thing about late story isabella, how she interprets ray’s address as forgiveness, but . . . it’s maybe just more speaking to how their worst qualities are the ones that they share. not as much a “ you’re my mom and i forgive you ” as it is a “ i get it, i’m there too, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway, stop feeling sorry for yourself ” and it just. tapers off into something impersonal, something more like just a person speaking to a person than a son to his mother.

He can acknowledge the love she held for her children, acknowledge that she changed and wanted to do better by them, but that doesn't equate to reconciliation and letting go of all those painful memories at the drop of a hat.

(Chapter 177 | Sunny's post)

The mental scars she left on him would be with him for years—potentially forever—and had she lived I don’t think he’d ever have a relationship with her in the way Emma might, but in that moment, he desperately wished for just the opportunity to try, even if it ended in failure or an impasse. And yet again fate left him without any say or control in the situation to determine his own path of healing.

25 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 1 month

Text

(Chapter 22 Bonus Scene | Mystic Code Book Chapter 1 Q&A)

Thinking about how the photo Ray took of Isabella burned up with plant no.3, so the only pictures the children possibly have of her in the human world are mugshots stored in headquarters' database that might have been updated every year on her birthday.

How surreal it is to see her like that, grappling with memories of the complicated woman they knew—the good and the bad—and the young girl staring back at them who resolutely held her head up high to prove she had what it took to survive in a demon's world, knowing all the unspoken pain behind her eyes.

Yvette's portraits of her quickly become their preferred visual references.

#ignore that my edit is shit shhhhh #The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #YnN #FSS Chatter #Farm System #Pre-Canon #Post-Canon #Escape Arc #TPN 022 #TPN S1 #TPN S1e12 #TPN Isabella #TPN Yvette #Isabella #Ray #Yvette #Big Bro Ray Tag #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #in scenarios where the kids are given information about their biological mothers by the Ratri clan #this can easily extend to all of them too #some of them might still be alive but they don't have any baby photos of themselves to serve as points of reference for their kids #also if for whatever reason the kids know about Ray being her biological son #Yvette quietly approaching him one day and asking if he'd be willing to model for her #it depends on how the reveal of their connection comes about that sets the tone of those drawing sessions #but Ray would always agree to do it #because regardless of his own feelings toward her #he'd never rob his siblings of the chance to find their own sense of closure regarding their mother

16 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 8 months

Text

Many thanks to @1000sunnygo for hooking me up with "Operation Stormy Night" from Films of Memories.

Some of my favorite bits under the cut (fiddled around with the wording to help it flow a bit better from Google Translate).

He would move heaven and earth for her.

Not thinking about how if she has Little Bunny this is within just a few weeks of her being shipped.

When you think about how much he tried to keep all the kids at a distance in his heart, but they still instantly clung to him for comfort when they were scared.

Me any time Ray has to interact with this woman over the course of six years with a straight face in front of his siblings. 🙃🙃🙃

@goldiipond points!! Raydon crumbs!!! (He could've clung to anyone, and yet, and yet—)

(Chapter 1)

Back on this again (or the prelude to it I guess kfjdsklf)

The foreshadowing to his mastery of cooking in a single day.

Ray picking up on the Noremma and the little Norray banter. 🥹🧡🤍🖤

"Ray, shut up and go to sleep."

KLJFK they are. Everything. 🤍🧡🖤

@burgerfootlettuce the comfort and safety they draw from each other's presence. 🤧😭🖤🤍

THIS WOMAN I'M

Me whenever Don and Emma's bond is acknowledged. 🥹

The kindest and most exuberant sunshine children.

BRUH HOW CAN YOU CUT IT OFF THERE AFTER HE TOLD THEM HE FELT THE PRESENCE OF THE THREE OF THEM THAT'S SO CRUEL 😭😭😭

But at least he told them about Conny (while potentially keeping the bit about Yuugo and Isabella to himself), and I like the pensiveness about it, showing how much it tugged at his heart.

29 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 8 months

Note

have you some fanfic ideas about Isabella and Ray?

Something thatr you plan to write one day.

Mine are largely “what if Isabella didn’t die in the manner she did and was able to interact with the Grace Field kids again when they aren’t pressed for time,” with one being she manages to survive her wounds in canon and makes it to the human world alongside them.

A favorite is one that has lived rent-free in my mind since S2 teased it in episode 4 is a canon divergent AU where Isabella pursues the escapees, supposedly being offered her freedom in exchange for capturing and returning all fifteen of them unharmed.

Absolute worst thing they could have done; why tease me with something so tantalizing, especially with how lackluster to offensive the rest of the episode is.

It’s a bit different from the anime though in that she’s accompanying Andrew in the raid as opposed to leading it herself. There’s also the difference of Lucas and Yuugo surviving it.

It’s the embodiment of this image

Born from one main thing I would have loved to see in canon and something I can never get enough of in fanworks: I wanted to see the Grace Field escapees talk about Isabella and all the trauma she put them through, and all the conflicting feelings that came out of the many years they shared at Grace Field in light of that.

And because it’s me, there’s a reveal of Ray being her biological son in the midst of the raid, which I like because in the chaos of everything else it registers, but it doesn’t really sink in until after they’ve managed to escape into the tunnels Sonju made like in canon. Plus, I wouldn’t want to take away from the rest of the children’s inner turmoil over Isabella’s reappearance. She was the only mother they ever knew, and I do entirely understand why people prioritize Ray in these reveal situations, but he never brings up their connection once in canon, for similar reasons to why he never explicitly states how watching his siblings get shipped out made him feel until he’s in a manic state, working himself up into a frenzy so he can go through with his suicide: he absolutely loathes pity for what he believes he willingly brought upon himself (never mind the desolate circumstances under which he made the deal with Isabella). Any pain he feels from that is penance for his actions and choices. He would never prioritize this internal conflict going on inside him over the anger, fear, and sadness his siblings are going through, even if once things have settled down and they have a moment to themselves he can’t bring himself to speak up and comfort them along with Emma, Don, and Gilda until he’s prompted by Jemima.

Other bits of this AU: • The raid happens in October 2046 instead of October 2047. I thought almost two years of Isabella being imprisoned was too long, plus I wanted this to occur before Lambda is destroyed in February 2047 and before the Seven Walls search party has fully explored the demon world and found out how to enter them. The initial expedition to the East is cut short because the group has found a lead they want to confirm and discuss with the rest of their family, conveniently finding them back at the bunker when the raid takes place. • The incorporation of the Minerva demon supporters Shirai mentions in the mystic code book.

Them approaching Isabella during the months she’s kept locked up in order to ensure the children escape whatever attack Grace Field HQ has planned for them is the reason she agrees to pursue them when Grandma and the farm boss demon offer her the chance. This also brings all the children into contact with amiable ally demons, not just the Grace Field kids with Sonju and Mujika or the Seven Walls search party hanging out in demon towns, giving them an “in” into demon history, culture, and geopolitics, as well as insight into James’ life and the upper levels of farm system since Isabella doesn’t become Grandma. On one side of the spectrum are the Grace Field escapees, who are the most open to working with them, and on the other side are Norman and the Lambda escapees, who are the most reluctant and hostile toward the idea. There’s a range of unique opinions among them, but these are the general groupings. (Goldy Pond escapees initially occupy the Lambda stance, but by the time the Lambda children arrive on the scene they’re more amiable toward demons.) • Andrew is assisting Isabella in capturing the children, but with the visceral disdain he feels toward the cattle children he’s operating under his own agenda of killing all of the Goldy Pond escapees once they’re located, eventually shifting to killing Emma once she makes it apparent she plans on overthrowing the entire world order and hierarchy that gave him purpose and a feeling of superiority. • A scene between Yuugo and Anna that isn’t used to push a ship. This is like the only time I ever see them interact in fancontent, and the majority of the time it’s used to push RA with Anna acting as a parallel to Dina and Ray to Yuugo. • Isabella, Lucas, and Yuugo interactions. Just want to see the adults interact lol • Don, Emma, Gilda, Norman, and Ray all go to the Seven Walls. • They miss the two-year deadline.

If you’re interested, here’s 7k’s worth of half-baked ramblings of a rough, unfinished outline that I’ve sent to @officersnickers and friends on discord who have been kind enough to indulge me on the subject:

~ ☆ ~

Don and Pepe are watching the monitors when they spot the group approaching the main entrance. They set off the silent alarm, not wanting to risk using the PA system to let the rest of the bunker know they’re under attack. The kids have practiced drills for this situation, so while the majority of them are launching into preparations to leave, Emma, Oliver, Ray, Sonya, Violet, Yuugo, and Zack all make their way to the security room to ascertain the situation. This group isn’t immediately blowing up the entrance way like Andrew’s group does in canon (since their priorities are different). It looks like they’re waiting for the go-ahead from someone. Don’s, Emma’s, and Ray’s blood runs cold when they see who appears to be in charge of the operation as Isabella makes her way into view of the camera. There’s the agonizing pull of taking every possible second to observe and predict what’s she’s going to do weighed against how preparation time they can afford to lose, not helped by how it seems like she isn’t making any moves other than conversing with someone who looks like they’re going over a list while another is fiddling with some electronics…but the demons in the group are going off in the directions of the emergency exits which can’t be a coincidence, so ultimately they decide to head out now to regroup with everyone else in the armory if they’re planning on boxing them in.

They all manage to make their way to the hiding spot by the time the fiddling with electronics leads to entrance being opened normally as opposed to blown off with explosives. Isabella makes her way to the monitor room as soldiers and demons slowly and methodically comb over the bunker because their priority is the capture all the Grace Field escapees alive. Any escapees from Goldy Pond captured alive are a bonus but can be sacrificed if it means securing the Grace Field escapees.

Isabella then sets out to do as she was instructed by headquarters: emotionally disarm her children and hinder their attempts to escape. She goes on the PA system to let the children know everything’s all right and that she’s here to take them home before moving on to address each Grace Field child individually. Starting with Alicia, the youngest, before moving up to the oldest, she recalls a precious memory or sentiment she has of them from their time at the house.

I haven’t thought of what each one of these memories/sentiments would be yet. For Thoma and Lanni, it might be something like how one of their pranks got out of hand, but the resolution was very sweet for how it brought the family together. For Nat, it might be how he struggled with playing a classical piece, but once he perfected it his performance mesmerized and brought tears to everyone’s eyes. For Don, it might be how attentive he was with his younger siblings, especially Conny (this ends up not having the exact intended effect and pisses Don off because Isabella was the one who was complacent with walking Conny to her death along with all the other 60-70 children she raised during her ten years as the mom of plant #3, but that anger isn’t fully articulated until later).

For Emma, it might be the strength she displayed during her last few months at Grace Field and especially during their final confrontation on the wall (I’m really :? about this one because the weight of these memories should be increasing with each child; naturally the younger kids aren’t going to have as many serious or weighty memories since they were young and didn’t have as many notable interactions with Isabella while knowing the secret of the house, so I’m still debating over what would be appropriate for Emma, but maybe something like that and how she proved to Isabella that escaping was possible, totally shattering Isabella’s delusion that becoming a mom was the best possible path forward and living a life of blissful, ignorant happiness was better than one of uncertain freedom)

And then we end with Ray, which I actually almost settled on the dialogue for: “When I heard you sing Leslie’s lullaby by the wall, I thought it was the cruelest twist the universe could play on me. But as time went on, I saw it as blessing to be able to raise the son who was taken from me the minute he was born.” And then maybe an additional line of “I’m sorry I couldn’t offer you the same childhood as your siblings.”

If they weren’t under such dire circumstances, Ray might lash out or vomit, because if this isn’t so fucking selfish of her, dumping this mix of truth and lies on them when there’s no option for them to respond in reciprocation or rejection. He’s noticed the factual errors in some of the memories, and he can’t (won’t) believe what she said to him is anything but a ploy, playing on all the times he let his mask slip the tiniest bit around her but especially when he was younger. Also, regardless of how accepting his friends and family of this information because it really is inconsequential to them who he’s biologically related to, her expressing these sentiments takes control of a situation away from him once again because he wasn’t ready or willing to discuss the subject yet.

He settles for biting the inside of his cheek until the taste of blood brings him out of his brief, blinding rage. Jemima feels him tense as he’s holding onto her.

Isabella reassures her children one last time that everything will be all right, and that they’ll all be reunited soon before the PA system goes silent.

At this point I defaulted to the kids settling on luring in as many intruders into the bunker as possible before enacting a defense protocol or something to make it explode, taking out as many enemies as possible so there’s less that will pursue them when they make a break for the forest. I have…not thought through how this would entirely work that would allow for Isabella to remain either unscathed or only with minor injuries when the place explodes lol, but regardless, everything comes together in that dramatic moment so there’s the climax of Ray’s relationship to Isabella being revealed to the rest of his family (because in the canon timeline I can’t see him ever bringing it up unless an external force prompts him to, we didn’t get the closure to this relationship that I wanted to see in manga, and this is my incredibly self-indulgent and dramatic AU, so putting all my favorite things in here lol) and no one can immediately talk about it or anything else going on because they have to get to safety, so it’s just left to simmer until hours later in the back of certain people’s minds.

I like the idea of Yuugo being injured while saving Ray during this raid because dammit, first it was Norman sacrificing his life so he could live instead, then Emma cut off her ear because he didn’t cooperate with the escape plan she and Norman had set up, and now Yuugo’s hurt. He’s tired of having people he cares about being hurt all in the name of protecting him from his mother, someone who’s supposed to love him unconditionally but is instead doing all of this to prolong her own survival. I’m not sure how to work that in here exactly though lol.

They end up going to the same area they go to during this arc in the manga after that to rest for the night before they figure out what to do. Ray, Emma, Don, and Gilda all go to figure out how they’re going to do night watch rotations, but everyone in the GP resistance is like “no, you guys need to be there for the younger kids, we’ll cover the night watch” and also them implicitly saying to take time for themselves too because they know how conflicting the situation is for all of them. So all of the GF kids hang out in the little portion of the tunnel system that’s close enough to the rest of the group but will allow them to have privacy to talk about anything they want to and rest for the night. I default to either Mark or Rossi starting off the conversation after everyone gets settled enough for what remain of the night. Or maybe both of them start things off by apologizing because they feel like Isabella showing up is somehow their fault. Was inspired by specifically this section of evanescent’s always a riddle inside my head (aesop's kin):

They know about the things Isabella did to their family: how she gave away their siblings to the demons, how she purposely broke Emma’s leg, how she sent Krone away, and yet they would still find themselves missing her and longing for those times back at Grace Field. Emma, Don, Gilda, Anna, and Nat quickly reassure them that this isn’t the case because nothing that happened at Grace Field was their fault. Everyone starts discussing how what’s happened makes them feel: how they’re upset at losing their new home, how Mom had to come back and ruin what they had, but she remembered all those things about each of them (though some of them were off; she got the name of Nat’s song wrong, for starters) and it’s just… a mess for everyone. But Ray’s been quiet the entire time.

Emma wasn’t planning on broaching the subject of what Isabella had said to him until they were alone, but Jemima ends up doing it for her by asking, “Ray, are you ok?” Idk if I want to have each of the younger kids paired up with an older one for seating arrangements at this point so it’d go Ray-Jemima, Emma-Dominic and Rossi (or one of them’s with Thoma and Lanni), Gilda-Mark, Don-Chris, Anna-Alicia, Nat-Yvette, or if I want them more huddled closer together in one big group so that it’s more noticeable Ray’s off, but if they are paired up, Jemima picks up on Ray being quiet and tensing during the entire conversation because everyone is dealing with their own trauma and they’re not sure how to even touch upon Ray’s. But Ray just looks at Jemima with a sort of sad smile of acceptance and a gentle headpat and says, “Yeah, I’m okay. We found out when I was six, by accident.”

Don, Thoma, or Lanni wonders out loud how that happens by accident before one of the girls attempts to shush them, but Ray ends up elaborating anyway because now that the anger’s subsided about everything that’s happened, he’s just kind of tired like he was back at the house after Norman was shipped. Isabella makes him tired with their convoluted mess of a relationship, and he figures now that it’s out in the open, what’s there to lose if they might already think less of him or want to distance themselves for whatever reason, any is valid.

“Yeah, it was an accident. Moms aren’t supposed to raise their biological children, or if they do, they aren’t supposed to know about it. But someone at HQ thought it would be funny I suppose, or maybe it really was just random chance, but I was sent to plant #3. On my sixth birthday, or at least the birthday they gave me, I was pretty sure I knew what the workings of the house were. So I decided it was time to confirm if my hypothesis was correct. I took a tree branch, damaged my tracker, and waited to see what happened. I was pretty sure Mom would accept my deal, and with my scores I shouldn’t be shipped out… but I was also very scared. About all the things that could go wrong. So to soothe myself as I waited, I started humming a lullaby that I remembered my birth mother singing to me while I was in her womb.

“It took Mom almost five minutes to get to where I was sitting near the gate, and when she arrived, she just… had the most horrified expression on her face when she asked me how I knew that song.” He makes an attempt to scoff, but there’s no energy or bite behind it. “It’s kind of funny, in a pathetic kind of way. It was one of the only two times I was ever able to knock her off balance.

“And then it all clicked, and before I could stop myself I asked her, ‘Hey, Mom, why’d you give birth to me?’

“It took her a moment to recompose herself. Then she said, ‘Well, Ray, I did it to survive. Longer than anyone.’ The most important lesson she ever taught me.

“Thankfully I was able to stop myself from begging her to say she couldn’t kill any of us. That she couldn’t kill me. No point in wasting breath on a fantasy or giving her the satisfaction of denying me.

“So I moved on ahead with setting up our deal. I’d be her spy, and I wouldn’t get shipped out until I turned twelve. We agreed it was best to keep up appearances in public, but thankfully we were able to resent each other in private. And before you say anything, Emma, it’s okay.”

Emma’s briefly stunned by the sudden address, but rebounds. “I didn’t even say anything…”

“No, but you were thinking it, and… it’s okay. We resented each other. It’s one of the things I ended up not begrudging her for entirely. I mean, think about it: a living, breathing reminder of what she had to endure during her last year at headquarters walking around the house. It was one of the worst things they did to her, and I can’t really blame her for feeling that way.”

At this point Alicia comes over and join Jemima in giving Ray a hug because everyone knew about Ray’s plan to commit suicide and the work he’d put into the plan that allowed them all to escape, how he had to sell himself to Isabella in order to get the parts for the deactivator and that led him to sacrificing other kids, but this added another layer to that tragedy that in the moment no one knows what to really say, because there isn’t anything that’ll make things better.

But they do want to be there for Ray. He’s their older brother who was often quiet and alone at the house unless he got dragged into playing by Emma, Norman, Don, or Susan, but still took care of them back then (there were probably some special dynamics he shared with the other kids he shared a room with since most of them were the quiet kids. Except Alicia and Don lmao), and ever since they escaped he was, while never as extroverted as Emma or Don, still taking care of everyone in his own way and being more free and open than he ever was back then. Everyone loved to see that shift in Ray, which is why it’s so painful to see him revert back to how he was when Norman was shipped out on top of everything else that’s just happened.

(S1 episode 10)

He’s not quite to the same level as back in late 2045 because if nothing else, he is genuinely committed to the vow he made about living and being there for his family. But such a dramatic turn of events with Isabella reappearing in their lives against all odds, he takes it as a sign to give into a notion that’s always teetering on the edges of his mind but he’s gotten better keeping at bay this past year: after everything that’s happened, he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

It’s not his physical similarities to Isabella that he believes condemns him to this fate, but his actions that mimicked hers as he navigated the reality around him to achieve his desired outcome, although as a result of that they can be triggering when he spirals. “Even after we escaped, I just accepted that I’d never really be free of her. I’d see her in all the little habits we picked up from the house, or whenever I looked in a mirror.” (This might be a musing in response to him ruefully recalling a time one of his siblings casually noted their similarities.)

But the part he’s not comprehending is that for his family it's part of a package deal, i.e., they can’t be happy knowing he’s suffering (but everyone gets slack because they're young and very stressed out with the situation going on in that moment). So even if they don’t have the right words to fix everything, they’ll still offer words of comfort and reaffirm they love him.

They do eventually stop Ray from quietly spiraling, although the mood isn’t entirely resolved because he and Emma disagree about how they’re going to proceed. Emma’s in a difficult spot because they can’t forget all the things Isabella has done; she made the choice to comply with the system she was in for years so that she could continue to survive, and it seemed like she relished her dominance over the kids at multiple points. She thoroughly deluded herself into believing that the fake happiness of a few short years is the best the majority of the children can hope for, and that she has moral standing to continue operating in the way she is to foster that glided happiness and prolong her own life. To have the kids challenge that with escaping threatened the reality she constructed for herself because it was too painful to hope for more.

But Emma also can’t ignore that Isabella is a victim of the system just like they are, and maybe if their positions were reversed, she’d make the same choices Isabella did. Even if ultimately it wouldn’t pan out, she at least wants to try talking to Isabella one more time if the situation allowed for it. Especially since details in the memories Isabella recalled incorrectly wind up corresponding to the partial coordinates provided to them by a supporter a while back that were cut off before they could finish.

Ray is entirely against her approach because again, the most important lesson Isabella ever taught him was that she would do anything to survive, making her diametrically opposed to them. There’s no point in trying to talk to her; no one’s life in their group is worth just having the chance to speak with her when they probably wouldn’t get through to her, and even if they could, what can she do in her situation? The demons will most likely kill her if she fails a third time. She isn’t going to just lay down her life for them. And assuming the coordinates she provided are meant to be a safe harbor, they can’t proceed there until they know all their pursuers are dead.

But he knows what Emma wants deep down in her heart, and it hurts because he hates to see her give so much of herself to people like him and Isabella who aren’t worth it in his eyes. He doesn’t want to see her get hurt again because he’s already come so close to losing her after already losing Norman (or anyone else in their group, but he knows if Emma has her way she’ll end up taking on more of the burden herself), but he’s also kind of sadly resigned himself on not being able to reach her.

The same goes for Emma with Ray. There’s a muted despondency regarding each other that they haven’t mutually experienced since Grace Field, although it did happen on Ray’s end back at Goldy Pond when he initially saw her being stabbed by Leuvis and when it took her a few weeks to wake up from her coma. A feeling that if things go the way they each want now, the other will be hurt in some way, and they’d never want to add to each other’s suffering.

(Chapter 122 | Chapter 123)

It’s a very conflicting spot to be in, normally cherishing the honesty shared between them and valuing what makes the other so irrevocably themselves. There is still some comfort in it, having it out in the open instead of knowing the other is burying all their worries and emotions deep down, but it’s not at the forefront of their minds in the moment.

The next morning Anna and Nat opt to stay with the younger kids so they can sleep for a little longer while Don, Emma, Gilda, and Ray go to meet with Lucas, Yuugo, and the Goldy Pond kids. The latter ask how the younger Grace Field children are doing (and are subtly trying to assess how the older ones are). Gilda replies they’re doing as well as can be given the circumstances, and there’s a collective lament of losing the bunker when they have no solid plan of where to go from here.

This is when Emma brings up her hypothesis that Isabella is trying to guide them to safety with the rest of the coded coordinates she provided in her message, and also if there was a possibility of speaking with her, she’d like to try, knowing it would be an uphill battle getting people on board with it. The way their new friends were introduced to their mother was her destroying the sanctuary Minerva established for them and seeing the effect she had on the children she raised. But something in her voice combined with all the memories Emma had of her growing up, up until they parted on the wall and Isabella looked so lost and rooted on the spot, seemingly earnest in her quiet declaration that she couldn’t bear for her children to leave her, and a general sympathy for her plight as a victim of the farm system and unlike her facing that on her own for years…it doesn’t sit right for Emma not to try.

No one says anything in response immediately. The conviction she has in her belief puts the Goldy Pond group in a tough spot because no one wants to actively go against Emma; they’re a family and care about each other…but there’s so much extra risk involve beyond trying to assess if they should try to reach the coordinates and work on luring the remaining pursuers out to eliminate them, or if they should attempt it now when they have the younger kids in tow so there’s that extra layer of safety in knowing the pursuers don’t have a chance of relaying their location to headquarters.

Emma doesn’t let that linger in the air for too long, admitting she knows not everyone will agree with that approach before turning to Ray and confirming he’s still against it. He solemnly answers yes. “She didn’t rise to the position of a Mom (that word feels so bitter on his tongue) without being manipulative and ruthless.” He goes on to list his counterpoints he mentioned before and presents his conclusions about what her being out here means: she’s either fully committed to capturing them to regain her position and prolong her own life, or she’s trying to help them knowing her life is forfeit if she does. He doesn’t see this conflict ending without her death, either by their hands or the demons (and isn’t that another way she’s selfish, potentially forcing them to do this instead of having the decency to die back at the house or doing the deed herself instead of pursuing the children she claimed to love so much). Neither of them look away during this exchange as Ray tries to maintain a neutral, emotionless voice because he knows the extra layer of attention and pity he’s potentially being regarded with, and he utterly loathes it.

All the escapes present surely grew up hearing and reading stories about families and parents having biological children. There were most likely some stories detailing less than ideal situations where parents took advantage of their children, but I feel like the caretakers at all the farms would try to instill a sense of security in their charges with the idea that the relationship between a parent and child is a special bond, and that the goal for each child was to find them their forever family when it came time for them to leave the villages of Glory Bell and Grand Valley respectively.

There’s such an ineffable cruelty in seeing the first biological parent-child relationship they were ever in proximity to play out like this, that would leave Ray like this, speaking this detached and matter of fact, looking so much older than his twelve years. Even if they don’t have all the intimate details of his relationship with Isabella over the years, they’re familiar with the reality of their world. It wouldn’t exactly earn her any points with them.

They try to ascertain what their pursuers priorities are. Is it to capture all of them alive based on how they handled the raid, avoiding explosives and recklessly shooting at them? Is it to secure just the Grace Field escapees with the Goldy Pond group being bonus captures but expendable losses? Or are even some of the Grace Field escapees acceptable losses if it means capturing Ray, Emma, Don, and Gilda alive.

Yuugo picks up on Ray hinting that he might be trying to use his life as bait again, like he and Emma did when they set out on their journey to Goldy Pond, and pointblank states we’re not going to intentionally single any of you out and put you at risk, or in the position where you’d have to kill your own mother. Ire creeps into Ray’s voice as he counters it’s foolish not to take advantage of one of the few concrete pieces of information they have in light of how the woman has operated for years, especially if she’s running on a deadline and needs to catch them before the Tifari they’ve heard about that occurs next month. That might make them more aggressive in their pursuit.

They settle on going to an area of the forest that would be the most conducive for an ambushed based on what they know of the land and what they read in books back in the bunker if they pick up on any signs their pursuers are hot on their trail instead of holding off for reinforcements. As an extra precaution and layer of confusion from afar, all the Goldy Pond kids and older Grace Field kids who are close in height keep their hoods up as much as possible while out in the open.

Also because it’s me I’d try to work in a scene where Emma talks with Ray before they set out that includes a line akin to “his eyes were so painfully violet in the light of the morning sun” in Emma's thoughts in response to something he says and how he’s carrying himself, though I debate about the inclusion of “painful” because it’s not that she now attaches shame to the traits he shares with Isabella, but more so as a combo of “ah‚ so that's been there right in front of us this whole time” (because I like Ray’s eyes being a darker shade of Isabella’s violet to obfuscate their connection and explain why Emma and Norman never picked up on it) and how Ray and Isabella are both people who have been so deeply wounded by this system they were born into and who she desperately wants to save, even if she isn’t sure how to do it or if, in the end, closure between them isn’t possible.

Ray also apologizes for speaking so freely in front of the younger kids the previous night and bringing down morale, lamenting how he and Isabella always brought the worst of each other.

Meanwhile, Andrew isn’t nearly as injured as he is in canon during the raid, but he’s still wounded and is livid the livestock has managed to flee their forces. If it were up to him, he’d declare Isabella’s test a failure with his bias against all cattle children, including those who have grown up.

(Leuvis to Emma in chapter 80)

But there are people above him who see so much potential in her that he can’t override his orders unless she’s openly mutinous, and if she’s actually in front of the children her presence could still be useful in manipulating them. He can, however, shift group opinion and make them more amenable to capturing the four highest-scoring children while considering the rest as collateral damage in pursuit of a worthy Tifari meal for The One.

Isabella maintains that they should capture as many children as possible. Not only would they be looked upon more favorably upon their return if they keep them alive long enough to perform gupna on them, but even just capturing some of the Goldy Pond escapees temporarily to use as hostages could be a boon if they trouble securing all the Grace Field children. Andrew hints at Isabella having personal incentive for her plan over being pragmatic, to which Isabella concedes the reputation she built up over a decade is at stake, and she plans on proving her worth to the higher-ups by following through on her end of the agreement unless unforeseen circumstances force her to settle for less.

She’s not a stranger to playing it cool like this, but it is a bit ironic to her how strongly she’s working toward her own demise after years of doing the opposite. She was hesitant when a Minerva supporter approached her while she was imprisoned, thinking it was a trick to confirm she had aided the children in their escape, but after being presented with the possibility of helping them after she had hurt them so deeply with her betrayal, she accepts the opportunity for atonement.

Eventually there’s a confrontation between the escapees and the pursuers that results in Isabella pulling a similar maneuver to what she does in canon as Andrew moves to shoot Emma and Ray with his gun (because if it’s only Emma, Ray can reason it away as favoritism; if it’s only Ray I dislike the potential message of her prioritizing her biological connection, and in light of walking Norman off seemingly to his death, I prefer it being both). Thankfully someone is quick enough to recover and stops her Andrew from really finishing her off with the kill switch he’d been given by headquarters (defaulting to Paula), though the wound is still severe. They also have the boon of a few reinforcements from the Minerva supporter demons who had been keeping an eye out for them and located them due to the commotion.

While everyone is in a bit of an adrenalized stupor given what’s just happened, the demon mentioning they have the supplies to save Isabella snaps Emma out of it and into action. She immediately volunteers to be among the small group that accompanies them on the expedited trip to the hideout and volunteers her blood for donation as a universal donor. She isn’t going to tell anyone else they have to donate because everyone here either has only known this woman as a pursuer from the farms who traumatized their friends from Grace Field or is from Grace Field and has been traumatized by this woman. Even if they look at it from a pragmatic perspective of saving Isabella so she can provide them with information, there’s no guarantee she’d cooperate. But she saved Emma and Ray entirely of her own accord, so maybe there’s a chance something could come out of it. Anna, Don, Dominic, Sandy, Yuugo, and Zack accompany Emma and the demons to the hideout, and while they’re operating on Isabella they remove the electronic chip on her heart. Better to be safe while they’re already in there since they don’t know what’s exactly going on with it (she was able to leave the premises of Grace Field, but who knows if it can be remotely reactivated after a certain amount of time passes with no word from the retrieval team to headquarters). She spends a bit of time in a coma recuperating so the kids have more time to reflect on their relationship with her and what they’re going to do when she wakes up.

Ray finds himself at a loss with all this. He’s just spent the past week and however many odd days in an anxious limbo dreading a final confrontation with his mother yet simultaneously wishing for it to happen so he could finally put these tumultuous feelings to rest and his family could be safe. But she had to throw another upset his way by saving him and Emma. Maybe she acted solely for Emma’s sake (he knew how much she favored her) and he was only coincidentally saved. How could there be an alternative answer after the way she regarded him at the house and the imposed distance between them. Does it ultimately matter when that trauma is carved so deeply in his bones. He genuinely doesn’t know how to proceed from here and there’s just a sense of…numbness, thinking of how their relationship will always be tainted.

Assuming she’s being genuine, though, he doesn’t want to impose his feelings toward her on any of his siblings; they’re each entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, and he tells them as much when he notices the younger ones hesitate to talk about her in his presence.

I love imagining Yuugo being asked to go get Anna for something after they’ve settled into the paradise hideout, and he finds her sitting alone watching over Isabella who’s still asleep and weak from the confrontation. It’s a very conflicting set of emotions to have because on one hand this woman laying before him has done a lot of psychological damage to her children to various degrees, and she gave them all a scare when attacking the bunker even if she was playing a very careful game of trying not to reveal her true intentions to the demons in guiding them to this new hideout. But she looks so fragile before him and in light of what he knows of her plight after succumbing to the farm system, he can’t also help but feel somewhat sorry for her.

He asks Anna how she’s doing with the whole situation, and Anna touches on a similar mix of feelings. He asks her if she’s willing to forgive Isabella. She goes over how she understands how it might be harder for some of the other children—Ray in particular without having to elaborate since they’re both well aware by now how complicated and fraught that relationship is, to the point where it might never amount to anything without being painful—but Anna also touches on her memories of Isabella loving and caring for her and her siblings at the house, and how in the last split-second action she thought she would make in her life, she chose to save Emma and Ray, so for her, Anna as the individual, she was willing to try to forgive. Not forget, because they could never go back to how their relationship was as mother and daughter at Grace Field (like the natural journey many children undergo as they age alongside their parents, although this one was underlain with much more dire and upsetting circumstances than average), but to try to forge a new one.

And in that moment, Yuugo can’t help but be reminded of Dina; how she always tried to see the good in people and her calm and caring nature. It warms his heart and might have him choked up the slightest bit how even after everything, these kids are still trying their best to retain their “light/whiteness” (as Shirai awkwardly puts it in the mystic code book) in a cruel world so disproportionately against them. He lovingly ruffles Anna’s hair, maybe comments on how that’s the kind of grace that saved him, and then remembers what he initially came in here for and sets about arranging for someone else to take over watching Isabella.

Anna does have the help of Zack, Sandy, and the supporter demons so she’s not at risk of being completely burnt out (waaay too much to put on a ten-year-old; they’re good older brothers, and Lucas and Yuugo are good dads who’d never allow it to get to that point; they’d step up themselves to help before it came to that, like they did when all the kids were injured at Goldy Pond), but that was one of the times she was having a quiet moment with her mom and reflecting on the complexity of the woman before her while also probably being one of the Grace Field kids who provides her with the most physical touch by holding her hand during her recovery (the same hands that braided her hair when she was younger, broke Emma’s leg, walked Conny and Norman off to the gate, and saved them from Andrew and the demons now feeling so delicate and frail in hers) that lends itself to Anna being one of the more forgiving older Grace Field kids (Ray being the benchmark for the other side of the spectrum) while not pushing her feelings regarding their mother onto others because they all have their own pace to go on their paths to reconciliation/healing on this matter.

Yuugo would eventually come to appreciate Isabella’s acerbic and refined wit as they could both rise to whatever challenge the other sets on that front, subtly egging each other on in their own ways, while also seeing her making an earnest attempt to reconnect and care for her children again. The younger ones are quicker to go back to her and he’s unquestionably prioritizing that for them rather than what it’s doing for her wellbeing—if any of them made any indication otherwise, he’d step in; he’s watching like a hawk—but all the same, he’s not going to deny that to any of them.

With Ray, it helps that Isabella’s not attempting to waltz back into his life and push him to reconcile, but Yuugo’s still somewhat offended that she’s even trying given what he knows about their relationship. Seeing her not only deny her son that unconditional love upon realizing their connection but treating him 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 because of it and her own selfish pettiness, I think he’d have a dual reaction to any interactions they had because it’s such a painful process for Ray and he hates seeing him go through that, but he’s also a bit pettily glad at Isabella being denied in her attempts. At the same time, Yuugo would be offended if she didn’t try to do something to make amends after everything, so it’s just a painful process that’s to be endured as long as all parties involved are even the tiniest bit open to it.

He's smug and passive-aggressive about it to her early on. Not that she would ever make a grand display of how the walls Ray has up hurt her, but maybe in muted, almost imperceptible body language. And he scoffs at her if there’s any remote chance she even thinks what she’s done in the time they’ve reunited is enough to make up for years of cruelty. She tells him she doesn’t, in as much of the dignified Iron Woman persona she can muster at this point. She accepts that in deferring to Ray’s lead on how he wants to proceed with their relationship, he could ultimately choose not to have one with her at all, but she’s letting him know she’s willing to try, for whatever that’s worth to him. It doesn’t erase what she’s done, but it’s the best course of action she could take, so Yuugo begrudgingly respects her for that while also taking into account the unique cruelties inflected on her as a woman subjected to the farm system. (The reveling in thwarting children’s attempts at wanting a better life for themselves is appalling to him, maybe even heightened given how he treated the Grace Field kids when they first met, but she’s accepting the fallout of her choices without a hint of self-pity or feigned incredulity about why Ray’s reacting the way he is, so, it’s something of substance for Yuugo. It’s largely the same for Lucas, only he’s not passive-aggressive or smug about it; maybe just bluntly honest while still remaining civil lol)

It does help immensely that Isabella’s surgery is over and the rest of the group has made it to the hideout and settled in, the Minerva supporters inform them Norman isn’t dead but alive at Lambda since that’s a huge sticking point for Ray. He spent half his life dedicated to saving Norman, and in one fell swoop she ended it and reveled in doing so.

(S1 episode 10)

It’s a bit selfish, considering she still walked Conny and at least sixty other children off to slaughter over her decade as a Mom, and it’s not like she did anything to alter Norman’s fate herself, but it’s a lot more workable for Ray than if Norman had died at the gate. (I don’t think his reaction in canon to her dying would be possible if Norman wasn’t there grieving with him.)

To Isabella’s credit, she doesn’t know much about Lambda when she hands Norman off to Peter besides it being an experimental facility that he wanted Norman to “help” with, so he might very well be dead or be in the similar situation to her with a kind of living death. You could take her saying Norman is dead to Emma either as a parallel to Ray not wanting to give Don and Gilda false hope about Conny, as another means to break Emma and have her give into despair more quickly so she can finally be “happy,” or both.

#The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #YnN #TPN Fanfic #TPN S2 #TPN AU #Isabella Raids the Bunker AU #TPN Isabella #TPN Ray #TPN Emma #TPN Yuugo #Isabella #Ray #Emma #Yuugo #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #FSS Asks #FSS Chatter #naehja #idk how viable this is bc you can tell i didn't think this all the way through but ough do i like toying around with it #like if we would have gotten even a fraction of this or what people were theorizing for an anime-original route #where more Grace Field kids besides Emma get nabbed by the poachers #and the demons are narrowed down to just Bayon and Leuvis in a private competition so there’s a tighter sense of claustrophobia #and less new kids introduced that are just there in the background or canon fodder #not as a replacement to the manga storyline but supplemental in further exploring these characters #I would have considered that a satisfying enough trade-off #Long Post #Read More

39 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 8 months

Note

Do you have any Ray angst centered fic recomendations?

If you're looking for ones centered around his relationship with Isabella, I have these four recs here.

I also recommend There is Nothing You Can Do About it, Now by @bblueraven-and-fandoms14, a one-shot missing scene where Ray confronts Norman one last time before his shipment.

The imagery of their identification numbers as a noose and bisecting line across their necks has stuck with me ever since.

If you're open to OT3 fics, I also recommend the Ray chapter of Between Your Fingers, Between the Lines by honeynpeaches. It's incomplete, so there's no Emma chapter, but it's extremely foundational for me as one of the fics I reread when I want to recenter myself on the trio's dynamic as well as their individual characters.

Each chapter provides four snapshots across their lives in canon from their early childhood years to when they're thirteen.

Adore the exploration of the toll experimenting on his siblings took on him (there's no explicit confirmation of this, but I have a hard time accepting he would hand the device off to Norman, one of his two most precious people he was willing to sacrifice everything for, without testing it on another child at some point during its construction to make sure it worked) when he tries so hard to steel away his heart, never once explicitly citing how it makes him feel even after the reveal he's Isabella's spy because he loathes pity and doesn't believe he deserves it for the choices he willingly made (never mind that he's a child and given the circumstances they were coerced choices).

His connection with Isabella angst, natch.

There are so many amazing passages in here, but the "[o]ften, those eyes are blue" line absolutely fucking wrecks me every time. How the cadence of that brevity lands on such a simple fact that now evokes so much sorrow when he used to have such warm and positive associations with those eyes. Windows to the soul and everything that made Norman Norman and what he loved about him.

And then the often referenced celestial symbolism of him as the stars of the trio (to Emma's sun and Norman's moon), but a less romanticized, more viscerally horrifying perspective on it.

35 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 1 year

Video

They really cut to a shot of him looking so vulnerable and baby after that declaration and the predatory growl sfx @0:25 as her eyes snap open and the manic laughter, after everything we’ve seen of their relationship so far

as if there needed to be another reason to protect him at all costs

54 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 8 months

Note

When we think Sarah has even changed Ray's birthday date to avoid Isabella to suspect he's her son, it's wild. I mean it's valid, she WOULD have been suspicious if Sarah had given her a baby who shared her own baby's birthday. Like she would probably suspected it immediatly. (I also bet that Sarah waited Ray's shippement day to told at Isabella's face "ho by the way, it was your son that you just see die" just to hurt her/break her) Have you a headcanon of what could be his real date?

This might be a better question for someone big on astrology because the specific date is immaterial to me, much like it appears to be for Shirai.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 2)

What matters is the aforementioned deception by those in power for Isabella, a reminder how despite the position she secured for herself she was still the demons' pawn, and how it's one more thing denied to Ray by the overarching farm system and potentially his mother. If he asked her about it, it was one more concession he made to her, another reinforcement of the power she held over him, and assuming all the other birthdays provided to us are true, it's one more thing to separate him from his siblings.

It might bother him while he's suffocating under the oppressive aura of the house, but post-escape, he's able to embrace the false birthday designated by headquarters in earnest, completely divorcing it from all earlier ill feelings.

I imagine in the future if they ever find out his true birthday and they asked him if he'd like to change the day they celebrate it, he'd turn down the idea, citing it as the day he and fourteen other members of his family experienced their first morning of freedom.

#was going to say “he and his family experienced” but I doubt Norman was having the best day at Lambda #even if he might have heard rumblings from scientists about the escape being successful #he probably had fun speculating how gobsmacked Ray looked at their family pulling the rug out from under him and proving him wrong tho lol #best birthday present he could ever give him‚ even if he wasn't their to witness it in person like he wished he could be #anyways we love a positive character arc where a child finds safety and solace through the unconditional love of his family 🖤🖤#naehja #Ray #Ray's Bday #Isabella #Grandma Sarah #Isabella and Ray's Incredibly Fraught and Complicated Relationship Tag #The Promised Neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #TPN #TPN Ray #TPN Isabella #Mystic Code Book #FSS Chatter #FSS Asks #Pre-Canon #Promised Forest Arc #TPN 038

21 notes · View notes

fullscoreshenanigans · 1 year

Text

Thinkin' about things.

How Sarah probably kept Ray's note as a trophy of sorts just like the embroidery from the second light novel/chapter 181.2 (coincidentally, both given to her by Krone in an act of betrayal).

How somehow amidst everything that was going on in the turnover of power when Isabella became Grandma, she stumbled across the note (defaulting to her being tasked with cleaning out any of Sarah's personal effects since by the time you reach such a position the demons assume you've fully bought into the system and have nothing worrisome to hide).

How potentially one of the Sisters held onto the note and one day in the human world remembered she still had it.

How that Sister might have approached Ray to return the note that he never imagined he'd see again and explain why she had it.