#I've never hated a character as I have hated him right this moment so kudos.
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Douglas Henshall as George Wickham is absolutely perfect because there's no one I want to beat up more right now.
#I've never hated a character as I have hated him right this moment so kudos.#absolutely the worst#Sharpe#Sharpe's Justice#Douglas Henshall#George Wickham#Danny watches Sharpe
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks to @itsmylifekay and @dimplesandfierceeyes for the tags!
How many works do you have on AO3?
204 👀
Aaand Until We Meet Again is the fandom I've written for most with almost half of those.
What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,036,647 words. \:D/ Which is wild because I write so many short things that I never think of myself as having written that much, but t'would seem writing little amounts in consistent bursts builds up to a lot over time.
What fandom(s) do you write for?
Mainly Thai BL right now, and pretty much the same three pairings in circulation. Sometimes I'll write for a shiny new series, but I consistently come back to WinTeam (Until We Meet Again/Between Us), KongArt (SOTUS), and KawiPi (Be My Favorite).
I've also written for some anime series (Boku no Hero Academia, Yuri on Ice, etc.), Chinese danmei (Guardian, MDZS, etc.), Jpop RPF, and a ton of other fandoms that preceded my Kiranokira account on AO3 (est. 2017).
What are your top five fics by kudos?
These aren't necessarily my best, I just posted them at a good time for a lot of eyes to fall on them.
If It's You | Yuri!!! on Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | Explicit | 16k words — Viktor and Yuuri pose for a sexy magazine.
An Event of Somewhat Clandestine Chaos | Módào Zǔshī | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui | Teen | 3.6k words — Jiang Yanli's son elopes with another boy.
Who Am I to You? | Until We Meet Again | Win/Team | Teen | 2k words — Team wakes up from minor surgery with a foggy memory and can't believe his luck when he finds out who he's dating.
Win the Friendly, Win the Deadly | Until We Meet Again | Win/Team | Teen | 2.3k words — Win's reputation of cool composure ends when someone messes with Team at a swim meet.
Home Again | Not Me | Sean/White, Black/Gram, Dan/Yok | Teen | 2k words — Another way Black's return could have happened.
More below (including gorgeous WinTeam fanart I commissioned and a YouTube podcast I guested on recently)!
Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I try to do it as often as I can, but sometimes I get distracted, and then I feel terrible about responding late. Believe me, though, I read every one about four seconds after you send it and then spend between five minutes to five years in absolute bliss. I've actually started making a scrapbook of the comments that made me happy for emotionally rainy days.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Sooo, this isn't something on my AO3 account, but I once wrote a fic about a guy who died and he was making his rounds to visit all his friends (who couldn't see him). I couldn't end it completely miserably though, so I killed his boyfriend to reunite them! \o/
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I genuinely have no idea. Despite the horror show I just mentioned, the overwhelming majority of my fics have very happy endings. <3 I'M NICE TO MY CHARACTERS (eventually), DON'T BELIEVE THE RUMORS.
Do you get hate on fics?
Not that I can remember!
Do you write smut?
I sure do! In fact—
What’s your craziest crossover?
What excellent timing for this question. :D
MUSE | Until We Meet Again, SOTUS, Kiss the Series, My Engineer, Theory of Love, Ingredients, etc. | Win/Team, Kongphob/Arthit, Pete/Kao, Sun/Mork, Ram/King, etc. | Explicit | 143k words — Sex worker AU in a parallel futuristic universe where sex work is a decriminalized thing.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I sure have. More than once. Reposted to Wattpad. Was not jazzed.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! Every time it happens I'm so excited to hear about the process. Most recently, @linlinlong translated MUSE into Russian and was lovely enough to explain multiple points where the languages clashed and where Russian actually benefited a moment better than English!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have! @itsmylifekay has become my multifandom co-writer, as we've co-written WinTeam (1) (2), KongArt, and are soon to start writing a sequel to her incredible Witcher AU KawiPi fic together. :D Our writing styles mesh really well, and we keep each other going off enthusiasm and a similar love for tormenting characters who don't deserve it. <3
All time favorite ship?
WinTeam. It's not even a contest. WinTeam WinTeam WinTeam. <3
[gorgeous commissioned art by @questionartbox for my WinTeam fic "i see your face every time" where Team flies to London in secret to bring Win home. <3]
What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I truly don't want to answer this because I think I could genuinely finish any of them in the right circumstances. I recently started working again on a fic in my drafts that I started back in 2021 and hadn't touched for three years, so y'know. All of them have potential to be finished!
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, humor, coming up with inventive metaphors/imagery. The third thing was a conscious thing I started doing at some point to keep myself interested in what I was writing. Every time I used a common metaphor/simile/comparison, I felt myself getting bored, so I tried to make things up that were just offbeat enough that they still made sense, and then I realized some of them were working better with the character's voice and the story and situation, etc.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Describing settings. I have that aphantasia thing where I can't really envision things. It takes a real effort to see things in my head, and even then, it's not a clear picture. Like if you take the classic "what do you see when you imagine an apple" question, some people see a tree filled with apples in an orchard. I see a red, vague shape of an apple on a black background. So any time I write, my default is emotion and the abstract. It takes a lot of effort to also build a set in the writing.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
It can be used effectively, and I use it myself when there's no proper English equivalent and it adds to the story. Like, in my first two or three Thai BL fics, I didn't use any foreign language words, but the more I understood the social hierarchy in Thailand and how much of an influence suffixes have in WinTeam's relationship, I started using them.
Which fandom was the first you wrote in?
Animorphs. \:D/ (Followed by CATS the Musical.)
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Right now, I think it might be my KongArt fic "Life in Abundance",
Summary: Kongphob's mother has an agenda, and Kongphob can't dissuade her from it. Enter Kongphob's husband.
“She wants a grandchild,” Kongphob says gently.
“She has four,” Arthit says. It’s a struggle to sound stern when Kongphob knows the pressure he likes and where he holds the most stress.
“She wants a grandchild from me,” Kongphob clarifies.
“Right, of course. You’re her favorite.”
With Gatekeeping Kawi as a very close second.
Both fics are about couples navigating their relationships with their parents. The KongArt one is about them trying to gently break it to Kongphob's mother that they don't want children, and the KawiPi one is Pisaeng literally gatekeeping Kawi from his estranged mother to protect him.
One of my favorite things about writing established relationships are all the issues you can explore that have nothing to do with infidelity or jealousy, and parents are a biiig part of that. The other thing is that I have a good relationship with my mother, and a very, very bad relationship with my father, so I have an extra interest in exploring various healthy and unhealthy parental relationships.
Aaaand that's it! This was fun! \:D/
Oh! And I was also a guest on Lovecast's podcast about fanfiction's role in fandom recently, if you'd like to hear me talk very fast and loud about why I love this stuff as much as I do. :')
youtube
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2023 WRITING REVIEW
tagged: no one i just wanted to do this and i forgot about it soz </3
tagging : board of directors i'd tag u here but this is mostly fic-based so sorree... anyway if u have already done this my b.... i wld like to see ur post tho @evcndiaz | @brimay | @usignedupforthis | @seek--rest | @posallys | @dustorangeheartssnowman | @adhd-merlin | @queerofthedagger
number of stories posted to ao3: 34 ±1 bc i updated a fic from a while back <3
word counted posted for last year: 90k... a feat (i wrote more but it was ofic so add like maybe 10k to that)
fandoms i wrote for: alex stern series, merlin, house md, pjo, spidey, hunger games, doctor who, & the grisha trilogy
pairings: merthur / arwen / mergwenthur / mergana, darlingstern, hilson, percabeth, petermj, everlark, tenrose, malina
stories with the most
KUDOS: jealousy, jealousy (house md) with 522 <3
BOOKMARKS: except my life (merlin) with 137 <3
COMMENT THREADS: rip current (pjo) with 38 <3
*technically the answer to all of these is tested with torment but that's a fic i updated so i don't reallyyyyyy count it
work i'm most proud of (and why): thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin) because i don't exactly post 2nd person fic and tbh most people HATEEEEE 2nd person fic AND i got people to enjoy it. HA!
work i'm least proud of (and why): coffee drinker (gen fic, bbc merlin) because it was just a promptfic and i didn't even really feel like posting it but i wrote it so i might as well yk?
share or describe a favorite review you received: any review that quotes a line but this one from judas kiss (arwen, bbc merlin)...
THIS. IS. WONDERFUL ❤️❤️❤️ *creates bookmark with gusto* I LOVE that you dug into what it might have been like for Gwen while she was under that enchantment! It was so creative to have her past memories blurring with glimpses of the present during the enchantment. I *felt* her disorientation, and it *hurt*. I felt so bad for Gwen all over again! 😭😭😭 That aspect of this story could have been a fantastic standalone one-shot in its own right, but noooo, you raised the bar and KEPT GOING and made it even better!!! I love that you showed Gwen and Merlin staying friends after Gwen becomes queen, and I love how she confides in him and how he immediately drops everything to go look for the offending piece of jewelry. The bit about Arthur’s incredulity at Merlin’s method of testing the enchantment was a great dash of humor, and I love that you fleshed out the concept of the enchantment to be something the others could experience so that they could truly *know* that Gwen had been innocent. And don’t even get me started on how much I love Arthur’s “Forgive me.” I love how he doesn’t think twice about humbling himself in front of everyone because his focus is solely on Gwen, consumed by the urgency of doing the right, honorable, and loving thing in that moment. You write Arthur and Gwen’s relationship so beautifully. 💕 Well done; I hate you (/affectionate) for all these feels. 🥰🫂👏
a time when writing was really, really hard: august through october... idek why i was literally in agony not writing
a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing jj in spider-man: homewrecker because i've NEVER written him before (in my memory) and i was like. Hello .
a favorite excerpt of your writing: cannae lie i have a few favs so...
killing is a love language (mergana, bbc merlin)
Heartbreak snakes up his throat, constricting him at the sight of her. Morgana’s beauty is incontestable even like this, but her hatred wore her down to her bones. Gone were the full cheeks and rosy lips, the perfectly combed hair, the wardrobe that would put princesses to shame. Now, her face is sunken in, her hair a curled storm, her dress is merely black rags at this point.
thread of gold (arwen, bbc merlin)
Your father’s presence is larger than life. Larger than love. It looms. It casts shadows long enough to hide every hope and dream you’ve ever had for yourself.
the boy and the girl (malina, the grisha trilogy)
Memory fractures into shards. Real or not real? There’s Mal in the meadow. Mal buried beneath the hanging tree. Mal cold in her palms. There’s a sky darker than night. Her hands bloodied. A knife lodged in his heart. Her knife. His blood. Her fault. She killed him. She loves him. Her fault. Rest her head on his still chest. Her fault. No heartbeat. Her fault. No warmth. Cold light spilling from her palms. She killed him. The Saint’s only true worshipper martyred.
how did you grow as a writer last year: my hopes from last year was that i finally finish a multichap fic.... 😭 does a short 3-shot count. besides that i wrote more consistently and i'm finally Used to my writing style. i think.
how do you hope to grow this year: hell if i know if i could write something longer than 20k that'd be great 😭😭😭😭
who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): the board.... @rosesau / @bipercabeth / @stellwood fnh...... i'd tag katie but she absconded from tumblr smh. anyway hi freaks n geeks
anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: oh i don't even know. nothing ig
any new wisdom you can share with other writers: bro idek the more i write the more writing becomes fundamentally so hard to talk about ... sorreeee
any projects you're looking to starting (or finishing) this year: IF I DON'T FUCKING MAKE PROGRESS ON MY PLAY I WILL BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL. THIS CAN'T KEEP HAPPENING. ATLAS AND VIVIAN YOU WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE PAGE INSHALLAH
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AO3 Twenty Questions
tagged by @ladytanithia. a big thank you, as always!
tagging @inkoherentwriting, @azures-grace and YOU, dear reader
(copy/paste for the questions below the cut)
1 – How many works do you have on AO3?
Four, not counting the work I published as a reference list for my OCs.
2 – What's your total AO3 word count?
84,627
3 – What fandoms do you write for?
Just TES:Skyrim for the moment. Sadly, I haven't been able to play any of the other games just yet.
4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?
I'm dying for Among the Many Lost Souls to surpass Sought and Found. It was my first venture into longform writing and it shows. Bleh.
5 – Do you respond to comments?
Almost always. If I don't respond, it's usually because I tried my darndest and couldn't think of a constructive or meaningful response.
6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The one I'm writing right now :3c (Among the Many Lost Souls). I'm putting Gwilin through the wringer and then I'm gonna hang him out to dry.
7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Sought and Found, I suppose.
8 – Do you get hate on fics?
No, I don't. I lowkey wish I did. Firstly, because haters can be remarkably perceptive, and, secondly, because I am as interested in what makes someone scrunch up their nose or click away from my fic as I am about hearing people's thoughts on what was well-executed about them. I think my stuff is too niche to really draw a lot of negative attention (right now, at least).
9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Always, my man! I consider it my moral duty to make my characters fuck nasty. Why? BECAUSE IT'S HOT DUHHH
10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
People who write crossovers scare me so bad. I can barely limp my way through having to structure a plot around already-existing lore and making sure everything that happens in the story is congruent with in-universe rules, meanwhile there are people out there writing Skyrim x The Walking Dead crossovers. It's cocobananas.
11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I know. I don't really give a fuck if people steal my shit. Fighting with someone over authorship of a work that is principally riding on the coattails of an existing IP, which can't even be monetized, mind you, feels like a real 'race to the bottom' situation to me. I'm well aware of the quality of my work and I'm proud to have the drive to constantly better my skills. That's all that matters.
12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope. Though I did start translating Sought and Found into Spanish, I dropped it when I started writing Among the Many Lost Souls. In any case, I would be so, so touched if someone decided to translate a fic of mine.
13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?
Also nope. Never tried collaborative writing outside of an academic setting. Totally open to it, though!
14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?
Uh, I'm not real big on shipping existing characters. I mostly just think about my OCs, or my friend's OCs, with each other. Aside from Gwilin x [pretty much every other NPC in Skyrim], I think thoughts about @abstractredd's guys, Hedgrod and Athrar, quite often.
15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Fic-related WIP? Just one. I wanted to write another romance fic (like Sought and Found) featuring a netch farmer who's a cowboy-type character. Sexy Dunmer with a southwestern accent. Brokeback Mountain: Morrowind Edition. You get the picture.
I might still finish it, but I'm reluctant to even touch it because I haven't played Morrowind, and would have to do a real deep-dive into everything related to Dunmer in TES lore to write it. I know a lot already, but I never feel like I know enough, y'know?
16 – What are your writing strengths?
I've been told I'm good at setting a scene and painting a picture. This is, I think, a new ability I acquired in the past year or so. I've also been told my smut-writing abilities are pretty good, which is always nice to hear :) If I had to list what I consider to be my own strengths, I'd add that I've gotten a lot better at cutting the fat out of my writing (especially from dialogue tags and in describing facial expressions and body language).
17 – What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogue is a bitch a half for me to write. It's probably the thing I most obsessively tweak before publishing. I think my dialogue tends to fall short.
Pacing is another issue. I often criticize, in other fic author's works, that they present an interesting image or idea and then leave me hungry because they don't elaborate on it, but I am the biggest culprit of this if I don't constantly remind myself that, yes, people want to hear more about this or that. They want you to mystify it, justify it, make it sexy, make it like a puzzle for them to solve. You can't just leave it cut-and-dry, much as my autism compels to do because "It's quite literally saying the same thing". Like, that's great, bestie, but you have to elaborate! Say the same thing just make it sound cooler than it is!
18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
This is cool. I don't mind busting out Google Translate to enjoy a fic. That mouse-hovering feature that lets you add alternative text to a fic on ao3 is super useful for this sort of thing.
19 – First fandom you wrote for?
My first, and only other, fandom: My Little Pony. I was 12.
20 – Favorite fic you've written?
I love them all for different reasons, BUT Among the Many Souls has blood and sex and drama in it, so yeah. It's in the lead.
1 – How many works do you have on AO3?
2 – What's your total AO3 word count?
3 – What fandoms do you write for?
4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?
5 – Do you respond to comments?
6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8 – Do you get hate on fics?
9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?
12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?
13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?
14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?
15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
16 – What are your writing strengths?
17 – What are your writing weaknesses?
18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
19 – First fandom you wrote for?
20 – Favorite fic you've written?
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @powerful-owl! (Em's answers are here)
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
170. Crikey etc.
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
2,698,478. That's a lot of words.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
At the moment I'm writing F1, but I haven't been able to write anything for quite a while, and I never put the lid on any fandom. I've got some outstanding 1D WIPs that are on hiatus.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Emperor's New Clothes (1D famous/not famous, NDA where there used to be a relationship)
Can't Fight The Moonlight (Harry/Draco accidental mpreg)
Truly, Madly, Deeply (10 Things I Hate About You) (1D high school AU, famous/not famous again)
Maybe This Time (1D age play)
I Had Rather Hear My Dog Bark At A Crow (tomlinshaw, secret relationship, watersports, resulted in some of my favourite saved screenshots:
hashtag never forget (my beloved)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
LOOK, I want to, and I used to when I had a fic lj, but every couple of years I'd try to on ao3 and then I'd just be drowning in my own horror at writing "thank you so much!!!!" over again and essentially we hit a slump and I haven't in ages. I'm going to pick it up again, though.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
oh god I hate a sad ending. I hate them!!!! I will only accept an ambiguous ending under certain circumstances, so I don't think I've got any with truly angsty endings. I've got plenty with very angsty middles. That SAID, I occasionally get hassle from people who don't think my fics are happy enough at the end because I don't like to tie all the ends up. I really, really hate pointless epilogues - NOTE, not all epilogues are pointless, and some of them I love - but the ones where it's just an unnecessary flash forward and all the problems are solved and they've got 2.5 children and a beautiful house and everything's perfect and it just feels like a horror story to me, like a fannish/romance novel version of the stepford wives. If it's an epilogue where the characters have had a bit of a chance to breathe after the main events, and they're happy, GREAT. If it's a cookie cutter ending then I'm out, so I guess maybe the end of Emperor's New Clothes where they're trying living together and trying to be financial partners in their relationship, and Not Your Fault But Mine, where Louis and Nick are together but it isn't obvious which route Louis is going to take back to university/he's still struggling with his mental health was still too angsty for some people. To me, both those fics end with them together and planning for a future so they feel happy to me.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think all of mine are happy but maybe We Used To Wait is the most deserved happy ending, because it's the one where Louis was in an accident and a secret relationship with Nick, and he's in intensive care and his injuries are really bad, and the ending is him getting to perform again, and being out and being with Nick.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
y e p. Sometimes it makes me laugh because this fic very clearly wasn't For You, just press the back button, and sometimes it's more frustrating. Sometimes it's gross.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Oh yeah baby. My current fic is delightfully feral (to me) and I love writing smut. And then other times, I'm like... yes we won't be writing THAT right now thank you, no sex please we're British. Usually I have one week per month when I vastly prefer everyone keep their clothes on. Love a weird hormonal flux.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have in the past, but in general now I can't be bothered. I definitely wrote a Sharpe/Doctor Who one back in the day.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yeah, a few times. The most egregious (and recent) was someone stealing We Used To Wait (which was Louis/Nick) and changing the names to Aaron and Robert, and amending various little bits to suit Emmerdale canon. If you're going to steal a fic, it's best to do it in a fandom I'm not in/I don't fucking read in, for the love of fuck.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, I love having a blanket transformation policy on AO3. I'm always so in awe of people wanting to engage with your writing like that.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! A couple of short ones and then the delicious Sugar, We're Going Down which I co-wrote with my very dear Anonymous friend, and we didn't ever think we were going to share it when we wrote it (hence why my friend is anonymous on it!) so we just went balls to the wall feral with it.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I don't have an answer to this, but if I ever considered something my OTP I will go to my grave loving it. I love Louis/Nick so much, and each OTP before that. Right now I'm extremely focused on Max/Daniel and I don't see that going anywhere soon.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Nope, I have the I Had Rather sequel and Harry Styles Cooks outstanding but hopefully they'll both get an ending when the time's right, even if it's just me reading them.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue? Angst? IDK??!! Help!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Oh, action and description for sure. I'm not a very visual writer/reader, I very rarely have a picture of a character in my head or the space that they inhabit. I know everything they say, though.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I'd be worried about fucking it up. If I knew someone who was a native speaker and it worked, then I guess.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Young Americans technically, then probably Percy/Oliver in Harry Potter and Dom/Billy for the Lord of the Rings films.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I Had Rather Hear My Dog Bark At A Crow - I loved writing this, it came together in a few weeks, it made me fall in love with the pairing, legit changed my life for various reasons and I just enjoy it a lot.
Anyway, tagging @allwaswell16, @astorytotellyourfriends, and @junkshop-disco if you fancy it :)
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Horizon Tag Game
Thank you for tagging me @nerd-artist! :)
1. Ride or die ship (Your otp):
Ereloy. When I first got my ps4 Horizon was one of the first games I ever played back in 2019 and MAN. The dynamic and stories that surround these two. They're polar opposites both in writing, origin and personality. Like many Ereloys I fell hard at the Two Minutes Convo™️ back in hzd when Aloy was all mission and no time to waste. Not only did she reassure Erend when he most needed it, but also promised him a bit more of her time than what little he had asked her for. (Also, the way Guerrilla team describes Erend in regards of his relationship with Aloy is just SUCH TEASING. They love their friendship as much as we do and the puppy mentions are my fave meal.)
Their relationship has developed like HELL in hfw and I'm so here for it. Their closeness and chemistry is out of this world, and to see Aloy be soft and smile with him makes me hope for more moments in HZ3 where she can have fun with him when we go to 🕯️The Claim🕯️. The care they have for eachother is more than evident, too, and all the special focus they both had in HFW still has me thinking they might be endgame in Hz3. I just can't escape them.
2. Most annoying ship: Hating a ship in public? In this economy??
3. Second favorite ship: Morlund and Abadund. Ray of sunshine and little rain cloud ship? Sign me the fuck up. Oh also Vanasha x Uthid. Delish.
4. Favourite platonic relationship: Erend and Varl, whatever Erend and Kotallo have going on, Aloy and Talanah, Beta and Erend, Zo and Aloy, ALOY AND BETA (Super exited for the possible 'Teaching Beta how to hunt' Aloy moment. Need more sisters bonding!)
5. Underrated ship: Morlund x Abadund.
6. Overrated ship: The Horizon fandom is kinda small tbh, so, none thus far.
7. One thing i would change in canon: Ugh. A lot. Kinda noticed that the horizon writing has been kinda lazy after hzd so that explains a lot. Varl’s death, the returning character's treatment in hfw, (Erend got written like a CLOWN in the base dialogue), Most of the Hfw DLC, the small amount of Beta and Aloy bonding in hfw, which made the whole 'sister' thing came outta the blue honestly, The Zeniths showing up too soon in the story for my liking, some writing, mostly.
8. Something canon did right: You know what? HZD. BEAUTIFUL introduction to the game's amazing world. The effort that came into creating every tribe is evident and each one of them has this gorgeous presence in the games. Then the worldbuilding, too. The amazing characters that were made (both main and minor), and to tie it off, the way everything comes together in a perfect symphony surely makes the Horizon universe be unique. The delicate balance of the world and its inhabitant's interactions with one another's makes the world so rich and gorgeous. Major kudos there.
9. A thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: Well, I never thought I'd ever be able to draw digitally and let alone post it online to begin with, so it's been a ride for me. I've evolved a lot ever since my first drawing was posted here, and I'm more than grateful for everyone that has enjoyed the fruits of what I can offer.
The most difficult piece I've ever done and my favorite this far is the Evening at Hidden Ember piece. I have it printed in crappy paper and framed on my bookshelf. It was HELL for me to draw, but it makes it worth it even more because the outcome was lovely.
Also, my fics. NEVER would have imagined I'd be able to write anything in my second language, so yea.
10. A character who is perfect to me (Wouldn't change a thing): Beta is a gorgeous character. I love how different she is to both Elisabet and Aloy, and what it brings to the table. I'd love to see what she will become in hz3. She has this huge potential it'd be sad if she remained as Aloy's gal in the chair. Let her see the world!
Erend is nice, too. I know I mentioned the HFW writing, but the whole base thing can be overlooked when you compare it to the general writing of Erend.
I'm easily unimpressed with the hard, serious, tragic-past-having character trope that a post apocalyptic like horizon can create. It's most of Sony's male protagonists. It's gotten quite old for me.
So to see the kindness, fun, and emotional sensitivity Erend's character represents in Horizon is like drinking a huge glass of cold water after exiting the desert. Guerrilla played the "Crass and Loud male character" in on itself with Erend, which is something that can easily backfire if treated poorly, (hence why I hated the hfw base Erend writing reducing him to just, loud and crass and drunk. It was a gross character regression) but the way they did everything else? They aced Erend GORGEOUSLY.
To remain kind and gentle despite everything, specially in a world like horizon, is a feat, and I applaud that. (While also having a sharp bite, of course, and not making it the whole character's theme and personality.)
That's why his introduction in hzd is the way it is- That's why Erend looks the way he does. He is there to show that not everyone has to be what they seem. So when the heavily armored, loud, piercing having, mohawk and muttonchop wearing guy ended up not being an asshole I was quite happy. I breathed, because I' didn't want to see the basic ass hard guy narrative.
TL;DR I love my fucking bear and the free sister everyone gained in hfw.
11. The character I relate to the most and why:
Aloy. Not much of a social being tbh. Mostly everyone I've met here knows I suck ass at staying in touch or one-on-one chats (I do apreciate y'all though, even if I'm not good at showing it). Most comfy talking on public servers. Def.
12. Character(-s) i hate the most and why: Not many characters to actually hate, to be honest. The bad guys are just 'bad' for narrative purposes no matter how many horrible things they've done. Most characters in Horizon are so well made that I just can't hate them.
Maybe I could hate a character if they're poorly written, or if they represent a character archetype we've already seen in-game, but the hate is not inherently on the character itself, instead it's directed at the lost potential and lack of originality the character represents.
13. Something i've learned from the fandom: About the Horizon fandom itself, it's that it's very friendly and tight knit. Everyone here knows eachother, (specially the hzd oldies), so if any nonsense tries to take flight (Like the good ol' 'new fans trying to stir shit up in a generally peaceful fandom' or the famous Shipping Manifestos™️ explainig why MY ship better than YOUR ship, we can just laugh at the utter idiocy, block, and keep creating.
14. Three tags i seek out on ao3: Friends to lovers, Angst/Comfort, The unadulterated, pure, grade E smut, Modern AU, Coffee Shop AU, etc.
15. A song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character:
Something about us (Daft Punk) for Ereloy. Much pining much yearning. Delicious.
Tagging anyone who'd like to participate! These are fun to read.
#Jesus fuck old reply PERDON#Anyway-#hfw#horizon forbidden west#hzd#horizon zero dawn#Beta#Aloy#Erend#fucking uhhhh#Horizon#Morlund#Abadund#Bab's other stuff
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
@sproutwings tagged me in this, thanks Sandrine ♥ I'll give it a try!
How many works do you have on AO3? on the Zero_Ducks account, 37 (+1 unrevealed).
What’s your total A03 word count? 393,092
What fandoms do you write for? Only DCU at the moment.
What are your top five fics by kudos? (all of these are Sladick!)
You could be my luck, with 394 Kudos. REALLY? Oh well that's a discovery lol.
Dick gets pollened and hides in Slade's safehouse because it's the closest he can get to, hoping Slade isn't home. Slade is in fact right there.
Darling Little Things, with 355 kudos. Also quite the surprise!
Omegaverse in which Dick is pregnant with Slade's pup, but hasn't told him out of fear Slade wouldn't want them. Everything goes surprisingly well.
Served Cold, with 338 kudos. This one was expected since it's more than a single chapter and was a pretty anticipated entry of my Sladick series.
Slade takes his revenge on a hit that Dick ruined.
lie in your bed the way you made it, with 327 kudos. LMAO. I love this fic. It has to be one of the filthiest I've ever written.
A pwp in which Dick took a blow intended for one of Slade's marks, and not wanting him to die, Slade has to take care of his sorry ass.
Slade's lucky day, with 301 kudos. My very first Sladick fanfic!
Slade is on a mission in Montenegro, and Dick is too. They end up accidentally and less accidentally helping each other, with some strings attached.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always. Fandom remains stagnant without interaction, and that's on writers too, not just on readers. Also if I post a fic (which doesn't happen often compared to how many fics I write) is because I want to talk about it with other people!
What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Among those I posted on AO3, probably Losing Game. It's an Eobarryiris fic, and I imagined a potential way it could go well but it ends on a very angsty note (it's a timeloop situation in which they have no idea how to break it, and one of them keeps dying in every cycle so they keep resetting it because they can't let him go).
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It has to be Darling Little Things, it ends on a very fluffy note.
Do you get hate on your fic? Not regularly but it happened. What hate gets there is promptly deleted, trolls are not to be fed.
Do you write smut? My smut has plot sometimes.
Do you write crossovers? No, the most I can do is "characters from X universe are now in Y universe", but I don't mash-up characters.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yeah. Long story. Bad ending. It was years ago though.
Have you ever had a fic translated? A couple of times, not from the Zero_Ducks account though!
Have you ever co-written a fic? I co-write pretty often.
What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I am too ADHD to pick one. Speaking of the DC fandom (which I'm here for), Sladick and Eobarry which I'm sure doesn't come as a shock for anyone.
What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Boy I have 200+ WIPs I will never finish, and I really want to finish like 80% of them lmao. Probably Clipped. Based on the fact that I have no idea how to finish it (it's a Bad Guys Won scenario in which all them little birds are captive and in distress)
What’s your writing strengths? Smut!
What’s your writing weaknesses? Being that I'm not a native English speaker, I have a hard time writing in "styles" which penalizes the dialogues. I have no idea how to show that a character is a certain English speaking nationality, how to give them dialectic quirks, how to make them speak in an old fashioned way. I can in my native language though, and it frustrates me so much not to be able to "translate it".
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If it's just a small line it's okay, it helps the immersion. If it's entire dialogues I don't see why, people don't understand it what's the point.
First fandom you wrote for? Possibly Spyro Gateway to Glimmer when I was 6 lmao.
Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Again strictly speaking for the Zero_Ducks account, I think it's Elegia. It's been almost two years but it holds the test of time, the emotions still feel very raw and the smut is still good (it's that one time Dick's suicidal behavior after Jason's death went a bit overboard, and Slade decided to do something about it whether Dick liked it or not).
I got to tag people now I guess! No pressure folks, it's just the law
@deepwithintheabyss @anawrites3 @waffleinator-inator @ftl-faster-than-life @ladytauria @thesandsofelsweyr and anyone who wants to do this!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @firebatvillain... er... a few weeks ago, I think. Thank you! Sorry it took me so long.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
136.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
396,444.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Oh, God. Loads, too many to list. Tolkien is currently at the top of the list, and I'm also deep in the extended Jacobite Literary Universe. :D Generally, my fandoms tend to have some sort of historical and/or fantasy setting.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Amo, Amas, Amat (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius)
Slightly Scandalous (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius)
Kindred Spirits (Ghosts, Captain/Thomas)
Reality Bites (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius)
Poetry Slam (NATM, Jedediah/Octavius)
My NATM fics are still my most popular ones by a country mile. I still get almost daily kudos on all of them, which is somewhat bamboozling, given that they're pretty old, very short, and there's been a lot more NATM fic written since then. But it is nice that folks are still finding them and reading them. :D
Then there's that random Ghosts one in there, too!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yeah, almost always. I like to let readers know I appreciate their feedback, and it's fun to flail about our favourite characters and ships. Though right now, I have to admit that I have a bit of a backlog of comments that I need to respond to. But I'll get there. :S
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I've written a few, but possibly Nunc Dimittis, which is about Morgoth sending Sauron away at the final fall of Angband. It ends with Sauron feeling the moment that Melkor is taken captive, then later, when he's cast into the Void, and realising he's now truly alone. That fic was entirely Dark Lord angst. :P
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oof, a fairly tough one. I'm quite big on giving my ships happy endings, wherever possible. But I'll go with A Few Good Years to Spend, because that whole fic was an exercise in giving Andreth and Aegnor a happy ending. But I very much liked the final scene, with Andreth growing old and Aegnor as totally, utterly besotted with her as ever. It also had them all surrounded by the various kids of the House of Bëor, and Aegnor being the confirmed favourite, and the image was cute. :3
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really. I did get one really weird comment on a fic, which was basically a diatribe against the POV character. But it had nothing to do with the actual fic, it was about the character in the canon, and it seemed like it was part of some larger screed had just been c+p'd from some other site. Very strange.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah, every so often. I wish I wrote more tbh, because I'm a pervy wee hobgoblin. I've never even written an f/f scene or a proper threesome. So far, all my smut has been fairly tame, but I'd like to try my hand at some more kinky stuff at some point. ;)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Yeah, when inspiration strikes. I don't know about the craziest, but I think the daftest must definitely be And Long Would Mandos Hold Him, where Death from Horrible Histories meets Saeros from The Children of Húrin and is, naturally, delighted. That one was a riot to write. XD
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge, but fuck, who knows. The internet is huge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A few times, into Chinese and Russian.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not really, not if you mean both of us writing. I think the closest I've come so far was when I collaborated with peasina for last year's Pod_Together, which involves teaming up to create both a written fic and a podfic version of the same. It was a really fun experience, coming up with ideas for a story together, and interesting, because it's the first time I've ever written a story specifically intended to be read aloud, so it was something to keep in mind all the time I was writing. The end result was A (Confirmed) Knight Bachelor: written version here and pod version here. I really enjoyed doing this one! :D
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
God, I don't know. I have no idea how to gauge that.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
ahahahaha... oh God, right now, it feels like all of them. XD
But really... sadly, probably the Legolas/Gimli post-LOTR fic I started. Honestly, I think the fact it was looking to end up as a multi-chapter affair kind of scared me from the get-go. Then I wrote myself into a knot trying to work out Legolas and Thranduil's dynamic immediately after the War of the Ring. No doubt it's the sort of thing that could be easily worked out with a bit of tinkering, but I got discouraged and ended up shoving the whole fic on the back-burner, where it's like to stay. :[
(Of course, talking about it inevitably makes me want to open it up and have another crack at it. But realistically, I don't think I'll ever finish it.)
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I do character voices pretty well, and in book fandoms, I think I can usually pull off a decent pastiche of the style. And on a good day, I think I can do good descriptive prose.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Fucking plots, how do they work??? On a bad day, I think my prose is overdone and pedantic: too fussy.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
It can definitely add something - authenticity, atmosphere - but should also be used with caution. Writing is all about communication, after all, and if you start writing whole screeds of conversation in a language that you're not guaranteed your target audience will understand, you're not serving the story, just trying to show off. Economy is the key, I think. I also usually include a translation, either as an endnote, or as a hover-over caption.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
lol technically, I think it must be historical RPF. I used to write wee stories about the historical peeps I was obsessed with at the time.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Oh, how the hell is anyone meant to answer a question like that.
Tagging, with no obligation: @nocompromise-noregrets, @cilil, @bryndeavour, @chiropteracupola, @regshoe, @sanguinarysanguinity, @technicallycleverdetective, @swanmaids, @cycas, and @di-daydreamer.
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20 QUESTIONS GAME
Thanks for the tag @nodirectionhome-ao3!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
17
2. What's your total AO3 words count?
81,583
3. What fandoms do you write for?
doctor who and harry potter, as of now. i do have a few x-men fics in the works!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Of Thorns and Roses: tenrose; arranged marriage au
The Surrender: tenrose; shag or die
Dimorphous Expressions of Positive Emotion: tentoorose; babyfic
One Day Closer To Death: tenrose/tentoorose; post JE reunion
The Seduction Pit: tentoorose; ood sex talk crack fic
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
almost IMMEDIATELY haha. as soon as i post/update i be refreshing that inbox :')
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
as of right now, it's got to be One Day Closer To Death. the ending is still canon compliant w.r.t ten’s arc in the show, i just wanted to give him a little closure. but it made me saddddd.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
probably this little microfic? it’s just a fluffy slice of life thing about mia’s first play.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nah. i’ve got maybe one or two slightly odd comments but not outright hate
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
i have tried it a handful of times and i think there’s loads of scope for improvement so i’ve got to keep practicing. as for the kind, erm, f/m i guess?
i only have one m/m ship at the moment and i don't usually think of them in smutty ways (it's the angst that draws me in lol) but never say never, i think.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
no, and i don't know if i ever would...i love playing in the sandbox of AUs but a full blown crossover doesn't appeal to me at the moment
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
probably not
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
co-writing one right now with @thirdeyeblue for the tentoo gift exchange! also working on a jily one with @joyseuphoria but we've yet to make proper progress xD
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
i'd have to say doctor x rose. i've had a lot of ships and usually i move through them super quick so the fact that i've stuck on for 3ish years is a big deal!!
cherik is going up my otp scale rapidly as well
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
i AM going to finish my WIPs. manifesting
16. What are your writing strengths?
i think dialogue, mostly. i think (hope) it’s usually in character and it flows quite decently. i watch a lotttt of movies so it comes to me more easily than other parts of writing
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i feel like a lot of my descriptiveness is lacking? like it just comes across as filler, or it’s too expository. i also can’t write actions 🫠
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i am fluent(ish) in a few languages other than english but they almost never come up in fic lol. but if i had to include a foreign language, i’d either write it from the pov of the character who doesn’t know the language (and gets it translated from a third party) or i’d have to consult someone who could help me out with the language
19. First fandom you wrote for?
when i was 12 i wrote a chris hemsworth x reader fic on wattpad 😭 the first proper “fandom” was probably x-men. i hand wrote a bunch of logan lives (logan-2017) fics in my diary lmfao
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
god. idk😂 nothing at the moment
Tagging: @thirdeyeblue @nostradamus0 @naaer @demdifferentstories-29 @ashesandhackles
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
i was faux-tagged by @prosopopeya ! it was fun reading your answers!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
147...damn
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
434,625
3. What fandoms do you write for?
right now i only write "Men's Football RPF," but occasionally i have the desire to write in my previous fandom, and then never do.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
these are all a song of ice and fire/game of thrones fics from way back in the day
drabbles of ice and fire (does what it says on the tin)
captivated (arya/jaqen AU)
ends and beginnings (arya/jaqen university AU)
egg baby (arya/jaqen, au)
arya saves the day (arya/jaqen, the same university AU)
...as you might have guessed, i was THEE arya/jaqen BNF back then, lol. (if you have familiarity with the characters please note these are all AUs because arya is aged up in order to ship her)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try, i really do! comments just get my executive function so snarled up and i wind up forgetting.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
that's most of them. how am i meant to choose? it's hard for me to get through the end of "i tore off the golden branch" without crying even to this day. "like a song on repeat, nothing has to end" has some nice sad transfer window angst, and as i've said, the ending to "visited upon the sons" really slaps. is it cheating to say mare liberum?--that ending only exists on my notes app, and it's more "tragic" than angsty i guess.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
oh, hmmm. i wanna say... "5.VII." poor dejan, always fearing he'll somehow be alone and unwanted, not good enough, and in that moment at the end of the fic those worries leave him.
“So...that means...these things...These things we do together...”
Dejan waits impatiently. No, he’ll be honest with himself. He’s waiting nervously.
“We’re just going to have to keep doing them forever, right, brate?”
Dejan lets go of the breath he’s been holding and as he does, he feels those wings again, stretching out from his shoulder blades and shaking themselves out and giving him an incredible lightness. He could float away right now with Šime in his arms. They could float away together.
“Yes. I guess we will.”
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not really, i think they're so poorly written or strange that they just don't get much notice. i did see some "piquira" people back in the day talk about how my fic "soy loca con mi tigre," where shakira pegs piqué (RIP) with sergio watching them on video chat, was "weird." god, it must be painful to be that boring
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
unfortunately yes. i think it's usually pretty straightforward, but maybe not blunt enough to be grimy-hot. i don't like anything flowery. i wish i could write some m/f from time to time, but i have too many gender issues to feel comfortable writing about an AFAB body in a sexual sense most of the time. i am trying to channel this discomfort into writing a fic where jamie jamie jamie takes franko out clubbing to drown his sorrows and they pick up some Girls it is what it is!
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i used to with my ex, we had an amazing AU where we crossed over a million different punk/metal/alternative musicians with some other rpf type people. oh, and not to forget--my first ever footyfics were crossovers, lol.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i sure have! it was shameless as fuck. however, justice was served because my version got more kudos and comments, so i didn't even bother to start shit. as they say, she thought she ate!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, into russian, chinese, and persian. i have enough fics translated into russian on ficbook to have my own Author Page on there--a point of pride, because i love ficbook :)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes, many with said ex! i would love to do a collab again--anyone? hit me up
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
idk? rakidrić, šejan, movren, xhakarteta RIP, JAVEY from AFI, cersei/jaime, aged up!arya/jaqen. am i missing anything?
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
maybe my really long 'ivan rakitić coming of age' fic, where the running plot is "what is he doing to keep himself at barça even tho he's out of favor?" as you can see, it would be very outdated, plus it was never intended for a wide audience
16. What are your writing strengths?
not sure :/ characters' emotions, good use of repetition and parallelism (i like to think !) and good use of rhythm. i also think i write a good ending. my bff said "the way you describe love and loss is unlike anyone else" which i thought was nice!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
plot, pacing. good porn, being unfiltered (like--my writing feels too repressed lol)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
it has to make sense so it doesn't feel like tokenization or fetishization and can't be cheesy. the only time i think i was going to include actual multiple lines of dialogue in anther language (spanish), i then changed it so the fic didn't have it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
the first like, true established fandom i wrote for was a song of ice and fire/game of thrones. before that i wrote a lot of bandfic, but mostly for bands and artists who didn't really have any fic or canons. like, 98% of it was private for just me and my ex, but a few of the pieces still exist online here and there.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
i cannot pick favorites. there's so many reasons why something would be a favorite. and i have 147 fics on ao3! plus many things that aren't. plus my unpublished bandfic was some of my best writing. i don't know!
i almost wonder if it's "his return: a story of ghosts" which...i initially wrote as a fic but then changed it up. it was a "magical realism" au based on my undergrad senior thesis, lol. (the most common remark about it in my advanced creative writing seminar was "uh, it sounds like you know what you're talking about.") it's so imperfect, but writing it was SO much fun, and i had a whole soundtrack i listened to as i wrote, and then a few years ago i did a massive edit of it which was even more fun and it's still very imperfect and can't figure out why. i also don't like daniel's name but i named him after 2 ppl i knew at the time and now i can't change it, lol.
OH AND ALSO: granit's first flashback chapter in dangerous AU!
if you write fic, you are tagged, but i definitely tag: @new-berry @protect-daniel-james @fanficburner @purefractals @colorsofmyseason @bsaka7 @arsenalgbt AND ANYONE ELSE I FORGOT please do it if you see it!!!
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20 Questions for Writers
tagged by: @dilf-in-peril HI THANK YOU
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
43!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
84,772
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Pro wrestling, right now. AEW and probably ROH and WWE in the future.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
I'm going from #2 onwards because #1 is a collection of stories that i have since re-uploaded separately, and the original collection is now hidden and inaccessible.
Ass-Kisser (Max Caster/MJF sloppy rimming+fucking in a hallway)
A Day In The Life Of A Dog (Play-by-play of House Of Black's activities on a show day, centered around Brody)
Welcome To The Business (Christian Cage+Luchasaurus/Nick Wayne noncon)
Daddy's Boys (The Acclaimed celebrate a win by DP-ing Billy Gunn)
Give Me Your Violence (Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley rough sex)
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try to reply to every one, even if it's just "thank you!" or "I'm glad you liked it!"
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
How It Begins. I wasn't PLANNING on exploring Luchasaurus' psyche, but it happened anyway.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A Future With You is the sappiest thing i've ever written, by far. alpha4alpha husbands.....
8. Do you get hate on fics?
A looooooong time ago on a Dio Brando/Giorno Giovanna fic. I deleted it though.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
It's almost all i write. I tried to write actual plot once, but then i lost steam.
EDIT: I JUST REALIZED I SKIPPED PART 2 OF THE QUESTION
as for what kind i write, it's pure depraved kink, usually :) I have very few limits and they are eroding every day.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've never actually written one, but I have some ideas rattling around in my head about a Hannibal/Crimes Of The Future crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A couple, yes. I don't remember which ones, though.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I really don't know. I love any combination of Samoa Joe, CM Punk, and MJF, and any combination of Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, and Luchasaurus. And I like Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I'd really like to finish Tokeback Mountain someday, but for now it's labeled as discontinued. Evil Uno is surprisingly hard to write, and I'm eternally torn between including his shoot insecurities about his body and some mushy "noooo youre so sexy" shit, or keeping to kayfabe and having him be comfortable.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've gotten a couple comments mentioning characterization, so I guess I'm good at that. I think I write dialogue fairly well, too.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Anything other than pure smut, i think. I have trouble putting breathing room between actions/scenes.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Ehhhh. If it's gonna be entire sentences, I just don't do it. A couple words, maybe, but if a character's entire dialogue would have to be translated, I just keep it in english, italicize it, and leave a note that explains it. Like if I'm gonna write a fic about the Lucha Brothers and it's just them talking to each other, i'm going to write it in English, even though it should be assumed that they're speaking Spanish.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Silent Hill 2. You can still find my first fic on fanfiction.net if you really dig for it and somehow know it when you read it. My writing style changed drastically over the last 2 years though!
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I'm torn between a couple. Right at this moment I'm gonna say Reversal, because it was a weird sort of breakthrough where I didn't just write a kink I've never written before and was even a little uncomfortable with, but I took it almost as far as I possibly could, and I ended up loving it.
tagging: TAGGING MAKES ME NERVOUS BECAUSE I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME I'M ANNOYING. IF YOU WRITE AND YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT YOUR WRITING, PLEEEAAAAAASE DO
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Thanks so much @trainofcommand <3 You keep tagging me in stuff and it's always a warm feeling for me to receive the mention <3
How many works do you have on AO3?
34
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
38,025
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently, none. If I was to write some now, It'd be Detroit : Become Human or Stargate.
the fandoms I have most written and published for are Star Wars and Dragon age :)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Wings, which is very surprising since I wrote it for a small fandom fest (Van Helsing - 2004)! I really didn't expect to regularly get more reading from this one :)
Is that Blood? A kylux short I wrote as part of a challenge. Found myself reading through it again and I love it :)
A long Mission, another kylux short, with a hangry Ren and Hux knows him too well.
Hux and another. This one made my eyes water as I read through it again!
Promise my only published work for Stargate !!! Mcshep <3
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do, unless people specify they don't want me to. I might take some time 'cause I don't always be available, but I will answer :) I feel like it's a way for the reader to be sure that I've read their comments and enjoyed them :) That they have warmed my heart with their words just as I did theirs :)
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
mm, that's a hard one. Hux, mentioned above is definitely a contender! but also What's the matter? I thought you wanted it for Teen Wolf!
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uh, that's quite hard to say, too! Since my fics are usually quite short, and most of them are just happy or sexy scenes...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I have never gotten hate on my fics, luckily :)
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I thought I did, but AO3 says I don't ^^ What's sure is that I have som in my (numerous) wips. But also I don't write a lot and smut is rarerly my priority, so I guess it makes sense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't think I ever did, though I do read them sometimes :)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Neither. Though I have been thinking of some fics I'd like available in both english and french
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Nope.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Well, I tend to hyperfocus and to change topics of interest every few months / years. I can't think of anything that has been my all-time favourite.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a few of those. One about Jack and Daniel (Stargate) for a soumate AU (which I don't think I've ever done, ever) is on my mind right now, but also an even bigger project for Les lames du Cardinal (which only have one fic, and that fic has 7 hits^^). I don't know If I'll ever take the time to really go through all of the editing, since the first draft is finished... It's from a ttrpg game we did with friends that I enjoyed a lot. Thing is during editing I realized I'd like to change... a lot of things. So maybe it'll neevr happen. it's also in French for the moment.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I am weirdly drawn to writing angst, even though I'd rather read happy stories. I think I'm quite good at descriptions and feelings.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogues and length. Dialogues are often a pain for me. I don't mind shorter fics, but when I have an idea that requires a longer fic, it never quite pays off. I've had multiple bad experiences that ended up scarring me and even though I still wanna make some, I'm very scared about them and the amount of work they require.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don't think I've ever done it. It can get really messy for some readers, so I'd probably only do it if the dialogue can disappear from the fic and it's not too much of a problem. I think if a pov characters understands it, then the reader has to understand it. If the pov character doesn't, then I'll definitely tend to mention they talk another language, see if there are words or intention that can through, and probably avoid the actual dialogue altogether ^^
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I already mentioned I don't have favourites ^^ I guess the one that has surprised me the most is Wings, because really the prompt Spoke to me so much and I'm quite proud of what I did and of the end result.
As always, feel free to feel tagged :)
My thoughts go to @sunwarmed-ash @cyberbullyingandroids @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for tagging me @fallingforfandoms. I love doing questions like these.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I've got 68 works 😳
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
My word count is 229,462
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I write for Tatort Dresden and Tatort Saarbrücken. Sometimes other Tatort teams or Radio Tatort are included as well. I've also written for Lost in Fuseta, Druck, Ragnarok, Blutige Anfänger and Babylon Berlin. Everything except Druck and Ragnarok were crossovers with Tatort because I like combining the stuff I like.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Tatort Pride Month Drabbles: my very first drabble collection that I wrote. The one that started this all. The one that makes me unable to stop writing more drabble connections. The one that no other drabble collection I'll ever write will reach.
Italian Summer (lol ur not harry styles): a Druck fanfiction that I gifted my girlfriend for Christmas when she was still just a friend. Started writing it in summer, so it was summer themed, but only finished it in winter.
Don't be sad, Mr. Laurits: a Ragnarok fanfic written after the end of the second season, because I did not want Laurits to suffer all the time. He needs someone who supports him and he now does.
Es geht weiter (Drabble Collection): one of my many other drabble collections. This one is there, so I can post drabbles whenever I feel like it, when I'm not doing a monthly collection.
And the walls kept tumbling down: an unfinished Druck fanfiction in which I gave Leonie and David a shared past. I never finished writing it and the first chapter is all that exists of it.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try my best to respond to comments. Comments make me so happy. It's so nice to see that others appreciate my work. But I'm not as good at replying as I wish I was. At the moment I have quite a few comments that I have not answered to. I try to get to it from time to time, but the more there are, the harder it is sometimes.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The angstiest ending I ever wrote was for Zu spät. I want to make it an open ending, but I almost certainly ended up killing one of the characters. And then I did it again for Feed me Poison, fill me 'til I drown except that this time it actually was an open ending. Sorry, Leo.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A baby being born on Christmas eve is the happiest ending you could ask for, right? Then Freudige Erwartungen – eine Weihnachtsgeschichte in 24 Drabbles is my story with the happiest ending. If a wedding is the happiest ending, then it's Tatort Pride Month Drabbles.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I got a negative comment once on Italian Summer where I was accused of transphobia. But like that's the only time I really got a negative comment and I'm not sure, if it qualifies as hate.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Uhm, yes. So much of it. I feel like lots of it is a little unhinged, if you can use that to describe which kind of smut I write. But I think I also write smut that is more ''normal''.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Yes, I do. I'm not sure, I'd call them crazy. I have written Tatort Dresden/Tatort Saarbrücken, Tatort Dresden/Babylon Berlin, Tatort Dresden/Lost in Fuseta and Tatort Dresden/Blutige Anfänger. I once started writing a Drei ???/Ragnarok crossover, but I never finished it and haven't posted anything of it. That was a crazy idea for sure.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also no
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not sure, if it really counts, but I have two shared drabble collections with @disappointingsalad. We've both written our own drabbles independently from each other, so not much actually working together. She's also written a scene for Ein nicht so stilles Wasser and she's helped me ''translate'' for I don't want a lot for Christmas. Looking at all this, I want to thank you so much. You've done so much for me.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I know, I should say Karin Gorniak/Leonie Winkler, but I also love Esther Baumann/Pia Heinrich so much.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I really want to finish my Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel Tatort AU, my Aaron Gorniak as a toddler AU and my Vampires in Saarbrücken case fic. I don't think that's actually happening in the near future. I also should be continuing my rainbow family Tatort Dresden Fanfic.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm honestly not sure. Maybe it's writing stuff that is a little unhinged.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Staying in character and actually finishing my work.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've written English fic in the past and sometimes I'm wondering how. Writing dialogue in German comes a lot easier to me.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Surprise, it was One Direction. I since orphaned the fics I had published, because I now believe that it is wrong to write fanfic about real people. But that's everyone's own decision. If you do write fanfic about real people, you do you, but I won't.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
My favourite one is Durch den Sturm. It was my first big writing project and my first cross-over. It was also my first time writing smut. So a lot of firsts. It will always have a special place in my heart.
I'm tagging @disappointingsalad @frauv @lucy-in-space @krejong @geschichtenweiterspinnen
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Stolen from my lovely @wheremermaidsdwell
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
102! I have a few left on ff.net that will never see light again and I lost a fair few to the crash of moonromance back in the old days. There are also assorted drabbles and random tidbits scattered across LJ and in my google docs.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
542,933.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I am in the middle of a fic drought, not really in a fandom at the moment. But MCU is by far my most prolific.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
The Fixed Foot, Sam/Steve soulmarks
Care and Feeding of Your Janet, Good Place Janet user manual
The Law of Conservation of Pants, Clint/Darcy (what), in which Darcy teaches Steve about the 21st century.
As Little Fuss, Avengers team, Tony solves problems with money and his team helps him out in return.
Five things the Avengers taught Steve Rogers About the World, and One Thing He Taught Them.,Steve/Tony, another "Steve adjusts" story
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, but I'm terrible at it.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably "A Long Day Without You", which is just cruel and I don't regret it.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I don't know, maybe "At Least I Spelled Your Name Right"?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yeah, occasionally. I delete it and move on.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Lol yeah. Depends on the pair. I tend towards power plays, that's what I find the most interesting.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Very very rarely. I doubt anyone has forgotten the halcyon days of 2019 when I wrote "The Pedagogical Implications of Thanos’s Snap on the Sesame Street Curriculum" and unleashed it on society.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes, by an RP blog.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, and it is a thrill. A couple of my short fics have been translated into Russian.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yup, me and @enigma731 wrote some Clintasha together, "With an Ocean in the Way" and "Let the Morning Come". Also some with a few RP buds back in the Star Trek days.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
All time? Chekov/Sulu is and always will be evergreen.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
My Jamie/Roy fic got to 4400 words before I ran out of fuel.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, matching the source in tone and voice.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Setting the scene. I'd be happy to write scripts without having to explain places.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've done it before when it mattered for the character. Natasha and Chekov were both native Russian speakers, so it made sense for them sometimes. It really depends on the character and the story.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Star Trek, I think. I used to write Lower Decks fic in my journals when I was a kid, trying to synthesize that and the Analog magazines my dad would give me.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
IDK, let's go with the duology of "Don't Fade On Me" and "Fragments" today.
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2022 writing review
tagged by: @rosesau. honestly? i'm pretty sure other people have tagged me but i wanted to wait until the very last day of december to do this because i knew i still had one more fic (101 Ways) in me so! i am sorry if you tagged me in this towards the middle/beginning of december, i forgot but i still ly
1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 14
2. Word count posted for the year: 90,600
3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1
4. Pairings: buck/eddie
5. Story with the most:
kudos: hear me now (1733)
bookmarks: also hear me now (506)
comment threads: aaaand here me now again (83)
6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): bite your tongue to watch it bleed was just a stream of conscious thought turned into fic. I put Eddie on Frank's couch but it was mostly therapy for me.
7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): CATWS au because it was the most disingenuous thing i have ever written lol
8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I've returned to Charlie (@safeashousespdf)'s comments on the bullet in my gun several times and think about them often
SHUT UPPPPP SHUT UP OKAY THIS IS SO GOOD. The use of flashbacks, the way there are all these different bits and bobs and styles all gnarled together and how it reflects all the chaos of Eddie's thoughts and his conversation with Frank and then it all just-- Freezes. Like I physically felt time slow down. Idk how you did it but that whole long flashback about Alex and high school and all of that stuff, I could literally feel it taking place between seconds. And the DIALOGUE of Eddie and Frank just having a go at each other like this?? Oh what a serve. I love when it's busy at the therapy appointment and the closeted gay men get mean <3 ALSO** RAMON AS A LONG HAUL TRUCKER WORKS SO WELL AND IS SOMETHING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED.....
ALSO SIDE NOTE: "Careful with that body, boy. People will see everything you don't want them two." I'M SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THIS LINE. I love when author's address characters directly for a brief moment because it's like, who is speaking?? Is Eddie saying this to himself? Is his father? Is it someone else? Are we breaking the fourth wall by acknowledging Eddie as a character, trapped within a narrative that doesn't want him to be happy??? IS IT ALL OF THE ABOVE???
And the way you refer to his body as a secondary object: something he owns rather than something he is. Something that he can commodify, he can sell it to the military or to his father or manipulate it so that nobody can see who he really is. That also fucked me up. Anyway this was incredible, Jack.
9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Buddie Big Bang was one the worst writing experiences of my life. Will I probably do it again? Sure. But I hated it in the moment.
10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Writing smut in CATWS AU and Bittersweet and Cruel. I've never wanted to write smut, and still don't want to. Hated every second of it, never doing that again.
11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Honestly? I have quite a few lines that had me shook, like, purely just cannot believe they came from my brain. But the first two bits that came to mind are
across our great divide:
El Paso has a way of drawing blood, all hometowns do. That's how your roots grow, after all, right through the soil upon which you bled and then back up under your skin, forever tying you to the land that birthed you.
speak in the silence:
[...] As if love is a currency, a bartered exchange between two distant parties. Hell, maybe in his family, that is all it will ever be. But that is not is not love. Love is a garden that leaves blossoms on your tongue and teeth, planting seeds every time you kiss the cheek of someone you adore and cradle. Love is soot under your nails and smoke in your skin, because love always leaves the ninety-nine to save the one. Love is the giggle of your son pressed against the cotton of your shirt, and a rosepetal birthmark above a strong brow set in a kind face, and a home-cooked meal spread out on a long wooden table. Love, Eddie knows now, is an action verb; it is not just an inkstain in Merriam-Webster's; it lives and breathes and weaves and anchors. It exists, even if it runs dry within the walls of his parents' home.
12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I finally became more settled into my identity as a writer; I know what I like. I know what I don't. I know what ways I still want to challenge myself, what things aren't for me. I took risks with enormous payoff and I took risks that I maybe shouldn't have, but I did them and that's what matters most at the end of it, since the past cannot be rewritten.
13. How do you hope to grow next year: Not sure! I guess I'll figure it out as the opportunities come along.
14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): @kitkatpancakestack @malinaa and @rosesau, you guys challenge and inspire my writing all the time so thank you <3
15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: *gestures wildly at bite your tongue*
16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: You will never, ever, ever write like anyone/everyone else. Even your favorite authors, so please stop trying. Embrace who you are as a writer and, if you don't know who that is, explore it. You are the only one who can/will ever write like you so don't hide behind trying to write like others; it won't work and it'll only make you miserable.
17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: Most of my projects are for IRL writing, but! My goals are to: finish the second draft of my {REDACTED NOVEL}, explore the bounds of an idea I have for a short story collection in the same universe, and publish a few fun fic things along the way :) :) :)
18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @extasiswings @sabitchhh @kitkatpancakestack @kirkaut @rewritetheending @raisesomehale @malinaa <333
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Blindspot S2 fanfic - Breach of Resolve & Breach of Reserve by nonky
I AM NOT THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY, but I can’t find it or them on Tumblr to reblog or credit directly; if you know if they are on here please let me know so I can credit properly!!
I've been thinking on and off about this fic I read a while back, and whether or not to share it, because I found it a difficult read. But it also left me with a LOT to say. It's set in the latter half of S2, but has some pretty early S2 vibes in terms of the aggression and angst levels.
First off, I feel like I should include the warning that anyone who's survived sexual abuse will want to tread lightly and use their discretion as to whether or not to read. Part 1 is quite rightly rated as explicit, and it's angsty and angry and as Kurt acknowledges during, it almost borders on violent. It could be read as just that - angry angsty sex - and in part 2, Jane is very clear that she doesn't view what happened as assault, so I think we have to take her at her word. But even though she's an active participant there are moments when her trauma shows through, and especially given the aftermath in part 2 (when her conflict and trauma really shows), it could just as easily be read the other way.
That said, I hate this story and I love it. I hate it for what it does to the characters. But I hate it even more for the fact that it doesn't really do anything to them, except give them one extremely fraught and conflicted night to let it all out. I don't think it could even be called AU, because where that night starts fits right there roughly in canon, and everything after that really just calls out and reframes their conflicted feelings and their actual circumstances in a different light.
And I am so glad that that this story exists. I love that someone went there. The language and metaphors are beautiful and heart-wrenching. It adds another layer to the already angsty on-screen plot, and explores something that the show itself never explicitly did, because it would have been too dark. (And honestly, as glad as I am for this fic, I'm very thankful the show itself stayed on the lighter side of this.)
If "making someone feel something" is a compliment to an author, then KUDOS because this piece delivered in spades. And like I say, it really made me think, so there's LOTS more thoughts after the cut.
https://archiveofourown.org/series/649937
~~~~~
Both times Jane joins the team, seasons 1 and 2, the team initially seems to see Jane as an almost corrupting influence on Weller. And Remi's old team see Weller as corrupting her.
Then in season 2 there's the others. There's Pellington, who's been pretty open about the fact he'd be just as happy to cut her loose entirely.
There's Nas, who from day one outlines how her support and protection is conditional and very much subject to change. She outright threatens on more than one occasion to not only cut Jane loose but deliberately hand her back to the CIA.
And then there's Weller, the man with the supposedly unshakeable principles but an apparently short temper too, who intentionally or not, sent her to hell in the first place. And who persists in being temperamental; warm sometimes, and at others not just cold but outright mean. Who uses his position of leadership to instruct his team toward civility but for half the season makes little to no effort to lead by example. And yet she loves him.
The show's viewers have the benefit of a lot of insight into the characters' inner worlds, their emotions and motivations, their history and the fact he genuinely does love her too, but also tends to default to "idiot" and "asshole" towards everyone whenever he's under emotional strain. But it's hard to imagine that an in-canon, outside third party with no pre-existing understanding of their respective characters and only a bulleted list of interactions in early season 2, could see their relationship as anything other than one with a massive imbalance of power, and that treads uncomfortably close to what could be called workplace harassment or even abuse.
Because when Jane goes off on him in part 2 of this fic, she's absolutely right. Weller holds all of the cards. In his new position as AD, he's not just her lead agent but her handler and her boss, and he's all she has to keep her not just employed, but to ensure her safety, keep her housed and fed, and even grant her the basic human rights the CIA would so gladly ignore again. In the fic he seems to know and acknowledge the responsibility, but in both the fic and in the show he doesn't seem to have ever thought through the full implications of what that could mean, that he not only has to have her back, but that he literally holds her life in his hands.
It's awful but also not wrong: All that stands between her and Roman and (at worst) the CIA or them and (at best) homelessness, is Weller. If he were at any point to be just a little more like he was at the end of season 1 - a little angrier, a little drunker, a little less rational - he could easily strip her of whatever's left of her humanity, again, and toss her brother in after her just for good measure.
But the worst part of all? Without Mayfair or someone like her - a slightly less biased and less emotionally compromised, more objective third party - to run interference, it wouldn't even take another moment of insanity where he's consumed with pain or anger or spite like he surrendered to at the end of season 1. His indifference - something he seems to be trying very hard to telegraph as his actual position - could just as easily seal her fate. There are sharks in the water on all sides who are out for her head, and he is her steel cage; even a simple moment of weakness or inattention could see her lost again.
That's why what she asks him in part 2 about her and Roman is so important. He's lost his temper and thrown her to the wolves before, and with Roman now in his hands too, she has nothing left on the outside. In-canon he sticks his neck out with Pellington to hang on to Roman, and that's no small thing. But I think it's not too far off the mark to imagine that in a slightly darker reality, her request that if a moment comes when he's unable (or unwilling, because how can she even take that for granted anymore?) to protect them that he would at least tap into his moral clarity just enough to warn her what's coming, is not only reasonable but necessary. "Can you be my backup?" I love the question. It's vulnerable and it's pointed and it's oh-so-true.
I'm glad the show itself chose to focus on Jane's power and growing assertiveness as she attempts to define her loyalties and bridge the gap. I'm glad it showed us Weller's morality and protective nature reasserting itself internally, even as many of his external actions initially are (at best) kind of bullying. I am glad that we saw that underneath it all, he still loved her enough that his care was ironclad, even if he did his best to try to assure her, himself, and everyone else that he didn't and it wasn't. I'm glad it downplayed the mutual trauma and focused on slowly rebuilding trust without deeply revisiting and hashing it all out, and that it never really delved into that power imbalance and the fine, fine line they walk between a strained and broken partnership, and abuse.
But I am also so, so glad that there's at least one fic that went there. I love season 2 and I love season 2 fics. There are many that expand upon the ways in which the team's bullying prolongs Jane's suffering and trauma, if not outright re-traumatises her on the daily. There are those that explore how that mistreatment might greatly increase her self-hatred and self-destructiveness, or even push her back in the direction of her family and Sandstorm, before the team finds their remorse. There are even a few where an outside party - Roman, Allie, etc - lay it out for them and really call Weller and the team out for their shit and put them in their place. They're all great takes, and I'm glad for them all.
But to date this is the only one I've seen that so clearly and directly strips it down to brass tacks and allows Jane herself to elucidate not just what's been done but what continues to be at stake, and tell Weller herself what his behavior could mean to her: that it's more than just battering her heart in some misguided attempt to level what he sees as their emotional playing field. That he could really, really hurt her, far more than he seems to have allowed himself to imagine.
So yeah, I hate this fic; I hate it because it really doesn't do anything to them. And I love it so much for doing that.
#blindspot#blindspot s2#blindspot fanfic#blindspot fanfics#blindspot rewatch 2021#blindspot thoughts#stories i am CONFLICTED about#i did not write this#(the fic that is)#(the neverending ramble was me :P)#very longass posts#honestly probably the longest post i've made that wasn't a fic or music list#but it's THEMATIC so there was a lot to say!#i LOVE s2!
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