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mami-koppe · 4 years

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Desperate - Dabi x Reader

This is my first fic ever in this fandom pls be gentl. no beta reader WE DIE LIKE SCUM. Also please note that english is not my native language so if you find something wrong *please* point it out 👀 Enjoy!

TW: smut, angst, mentions of drug use and abortion, violence, yadda yadda. aaa

Cyan eyes open up, alarmed and scared and anxious, only relaxing when following the rise and fall of the lump under the white comforter set just beside him. He knows he shouldn't be here; he's had a few more nightmares about a fellow villain finding out about your existence than he was comfortable with. In his dreams they would tear down your house, break the heirloom grandfather clock in your hallway, ravage all the cabinets and drawers (maybe they would find that picture of him under your Christmas-decorated pine tree, the only proof you had of his existence intermingled with yours, and you thought you hid it oh so well but Dabi's far more smarter than that). A shiver runs down his spine and he breaks a sweat when he imagines if Overhaul was the one raiding your apartment. The yakuza boss would most likely delight himself in breaking and putting you back together, again and again, only so he could leave in your bedroom wall a myriad of blood splatters for Dabi to find and grieve for. Chisaki would make sure he wouldn't even have a body to bury. Maybe if he was feeling lucky, not even a brick of your house would be intact, your whole life only resisting in Dabi's memory.

He wishes he could be honourable and selfless enough to say that's the main reason he never bothered to officialise your relationship; but even greater than the fear of coming home and finding your body reduced to a pulp, is the fear of being vulnerable (yet again). He kinda cares about you, yes, he can say that much, and anyone who has met you for more than 15 minutes know that you're in deep. He's not that emotionally stunted. But he's jaded enough to know that caring is a concept with many translations and definitions, and if you so happened to have a different one than he did, specially if that concept involved controlling and screaming and fighting and black bruises all over his back while his skin burned off at every flash of his quirk painfully taking over his body ... He couldn't just sit down and wait to find out.

Also, you seem pretty fine with this arrangement. He has a knack this has less to do with letting him roam free range, and far more with knowing that as soon as you express the need to define the feelings that have grown stronger and stronger for over three years, he will be out the door to never come back. And that simply won't do.

Almost as sensing his distress, you wake up and wrap both your arms around his neck. He tenses for a fraction of second, then relaxes, reaching out for the cigarette pack you leave in the nightstand just for him.

_ "What's on your mind, babe? You seem real distracted. I know you're usually kinda emo but that much brooding just isn't you. Are you okay? Perhaps you're having... cravings again? Did something happen? Was it crusty fuck again? If he tried to decay your face again, I'm so gonna fuck him up..." You run his fingers through his coarse hair, trying to show your adoration while lightly pressing your lips to his jaw and he shudders both from your ministrations and the mentions of his past cravings.

_ "...Whoa whoa whoa, calm down princess. Why are you even awake? It's still really fucking early for so many questions. One would think you would be out like a light by now, since we had so much fun last night, but guess I haven't fucked you hard enough if you still have half a mind to think about all that, dollface. And fuck you, I'm not emo." – he stops, cringing at his out-of-nowhere flirting and vague answers, hoping you don't see right through his crude words, thrown around in case you haven't noticed he's been shaking for the last 20 minutes.

Please don't notice. Please let it go. Please don't point it out.

_ "...Yeah, maybe you're right. But I should be asking you the same, it's 2am and you still got the energy to lewd me. And YES you are emo and well fuck you too. Forget I asked anything, love, if you want to we can talk about that tomorrow morning. Can't afford to be tense when tomorrow's gonna be such a long day, right? So what do you say about letting me tire us both out so we can finally have a full cycle of sleep?", you say, and in that moment he knows that you know.

The sudden pause in your sleep ridden speech tells that you have at least an idea that he's not fine in the slightest, but decided to just ignore it, knowing that your black haired lover wouldn't want to talk about it anyway. So you lift a leg just above his hipbone to pull him closer to your hot, warm core, both of you still naked and spent from your previous lovemaking, one of the few displays of affection he's completely comfortable with.

He runs his hands all over your sides, commiting them to his memory (just in case common sense comes to you without knocking and you finally leave him); suddenly his hands find your hair and tug at your nape, pulling your neck back to find his charred lips. Your smells mingle together, and it's all a blur of smoke, sandalwood, scotch and black pepper.

You kiss him, bringing his mouth towards yours with fervor, while slowly stroking his manhood, pausing around his tip, smearing his precum on your mouth with your fingers (you know he loves seeing you covered in him, and after all these years he wouldn't man up and admit it freely, so you tease him to no end). He can't find it in himself to be rough to you tonight, but it seems you have different plans because it doesn't look like you'll be patient enough for foreplay; and in a blink you are tangled in a mess of sheets and legs and sweat, him sliding swiftly into your heat, appreciating the drag of his swollen tip inside your pussy, going in and out roughly, the fast paced rythm of your skin slapping together only stopping when you feel the familiar head rush of your impeding orgasm and the sensation of his white hot seed spilling deep inside your throbbing center.

His low moans fill the room as he feels you tightly clenching around him; you cannot follow him in his vocal declarations due to being physically incapable of screaming anymore, a mix of pleas and gasps falling out your lips as he bottoms out and groans your name, fucking his cum deeper inside of you. The space between your foreheads close, both heavily panting near each others mouths, following a kiss that's way too sweet considering your personalities.

For a moment, he kinda wants to say those damned three words, but he will be dead before he makes a fool of himself like that, so he kisses your forehead and pull you to his chest, helping himself to a now dreamless sleep.

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It's one of your biggest flaws yet: you are far worse in keeping secrets than you give yourself credit for.

In the five years you spent together, he has plenty of evidence to support this case – all the gifts that were supposed to be a surprise, the job promotion you were hoping to disclose about at a movie night in your house (that said promotion tumbling out of your mouth in one of your daily, unimportant phone calls), the stray cat you tried to adopt without his knowledge (because obviously he would say no without even thinking about it, but now Tama's getting fatter and meaner than ever and Dabi lives for it), and you always said it was the other way around, that Dabi was the one who was way too good at uncovering things that he wasn't supposed to.

And in that exact moment, he wishes you were wrong, because the ripped blue cardboard box he finds forgotten in your bathroom floor just behind the toilet – probably fallen, since it's a bad habit of yours to let your shit fall all over the floor and eventually forget to pick it up – looks too much like the ones he would see in drugstores and at that time Shigaraki made him work undercover for a week in a brothel to gather intel about a winged pro hero who was kind of a degenerate, and he freezes.

He sensed something wrong weeks ago, your delicious skin even more tender to the touch and your face perpetually stuck in a barely concealed frown. He tried to ask you what's the matter a few times, before finally granting you the same leniency given to him when he was having a bad day and wanted to be left alone.

Now the only things going through Dabi's head is "why didn't she tell me", "wasn't she on birth control", "what the fuck is going on" and suddenly he understands why his – wife? girlfriend? lover? fuck buddy? SHIT – always said that some things can't just be left ignored. He never wanted to get high so much in his life.

Like a man possessed, he goes through your trash (it's not like he's not used to some dumpster diving and other unsavoury survival skills, since being a kinda prolific villain can only happen so late in life and before that, you have an empty stomach and way less standards than you'd like to), pausing when he finds what he was dreading: a fucking plastic wire, adorned with two dark pink lines. His eyes begin to blur and he can only thank so much you're at work right now so you can't hear his raging shouts ressonating around your room.

-------------------------------------------------

He does what he does best: he ignores it, simply leaving it all exactly where he found it and waits for you to come home. He helps you cook your favourite meal – you insist it's his turn to choose, but he says he's craving yours – runs you a bath, making sure to douse every crevice of your body in that cherry body wash he loves to smell in you, makes love to you until your head spins and your body is feeling almost bloated with his essence.

Can't get anymore pregnant than that, huh?

He asks about your day, and you let it all out, and every time you make that face you do when you want to tell him something important, he kisses you until you're breathless and changes the subject.

He desperately hopes you choose to keep it.

Then, after you're sleeping soundly on his naked chest, he brings out the duffel bag he hid earlier beneath his side of the bed, gets dressed, gives Tama his beloved wet food, sitting him down for a few minutes of belly rubs and leaves your home, his home, sending you a text through his burner phone that tells you too much about an undercover mission for the LOV that might last for years and none about where your relationship stands.

He's never felt so inadequate. Suddenly he hates being a villain.

He hopes you might catch the underlying forlorn tone in his words – that this is a "goodbye", not a "see you soon" – and not foolishly wait for him to come back. But he kinda knows it is unreasonable to expect you to move on and find a more loving, present person to warm your bed, put a smile on your face, a ring on your left hand, give his only child a decent attempt of a family, promise you the world and keep that promise. He leaves knowing that much.

And as you wake up in the middle of the night, with a cold bed, an empty apartment, a text and the briefest memory of Dabi lovingly kissing your midriff, you cry out for what could have been. Said text was supposed to be monotonous, robotic even, and it's so much like Dabi to go on a mission without wanting to say goodbye in person (because he's too cool for that) that normally you wouldn't even bat an eye, but you know you'll never see him again because of the words adorning the end of your screen.

I love you.

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Yet again, Dabi's dreams haven't ever been easy on him. He jumps out of the bed, startled, as he fumbles with a bag of white pills which he spent the last year or so sneaking from your sight and angrily swallows four at once; the image of a little girl with her grandmother's hair and his azure eyes, no older than three, tightly clutching his hand and smiling. It's way too early in the morning for this shit and he can't be bothered to deal with that yet. Not sober.

Papa, look! I've drawn us today at school! I've made sure you look cool enough like you asked, okay? That's you in your coat, that's mama, that's Tama and that's me!

He's not sure he should burn the image to his mind or off his mind. He still hears your stupid giggles in the back of his head (probably it doesn't help that he has been watching almost daily for the last six months that particular video of you hollering, high as a kite, when he and the LOV raided the compounds of a drug cartel that was antagonising their plans, and let's say that Dabi has come home that day with more than a few weed satchels).

Feeling the top of his head getting heavier and his eyes blurring with difficulty to focus, he clings to the porcelain sink in his hotel room, mindlessly bangs his head on the cabinet just below the small mirror until his forehead is openly bleeding – not that he can feel anything when he's like that anyway, but he DID always try – and lets himself fall to his knees, silently glaring at the floor.

He somberly notes that his blood has painted the bathroom floor a vibrant red. He hopes yours isn't painted too.

Later that day when he has already puked almost all the drugs out his system, he and Kurogiri are sent on a minor errand; some human trafficking ring leader, a former ally, was threatening to spill out their secrets and they were to break and enter, kill him swiftly and move on with their lives, no biggie. But as he steps into the compound – a shell orphanage, he notes – Dabi knows it's not going to be a normal mission. Soon as the children know the leader's dead, most of them flee, making a run for their long lost freedom; but a small group, maybe six or seven of them, stays. And usually Dabi is proud of being the nonchalant, motionless member of the party, but with the late events even he can't help to be a little horrified when he notices that children as young as four have the same eyes he had when he fled his childhood home, Ende- his house.

Children that have seen so much grief and despair they can't be bothered to exit the building, even when he irritatedly screams at them to get out already as the walls roar up in flames. They have no reason for escaping; their will to go on died way before their bodies did. He can look into their eyes and tell already that they will turn out to be like him, or worse. This would be the perfect time for a rookie wide-eyed pro hero to appear and save these innocent children just so they can grow up so emotionally damaged that they will turn to villainy, to be eventually caught and brutally murdered by the very same hero.

Dabi knows the kids will stay rooted to the same spot until they're engulfed by the flames or choked up in poisonous smoke and that's gonna take so much longer; he's already in deep shit with Shigaraki because he said "no witnesses" and so many of them have already fled, so he does what he does best – ignores the vision he has of that little girl, his little girl, embraced by the blue fire of his body as he gives the children the most quick, painless death he can think of.

Dabi's thankful that they don't bother to make a sound. He doesn't think he could stay clean for much longer if he could hear the white haired girl's voice in the squeals and pitiful sobs of the children who stayed behind.

--------------------------------------------------

He returns to his empty hotel room that day, still hearing Shigaraki's screeches ringing in his ear, and the only thing he wants to do is to swallow the whole bag of pills he still has under his mattress and doze off until he chokes up on his own vomit and doesn't wake up the next morning, but he cannot die, not yet, and that night he remembers the children's empty glares as he brings out the half full bottle of whiskey sitting besides his bed and drinks till he's tumbling unconsciously down the wall.

The morning after he wakes up a little emptier inside and his sheets are actually wet with the sweat he expelled during his goriest nightmare yet, but the possibility that yet another child is going to end like the ones he has spared killed the day before drives him mad with frustration. And then, he takes the longest steps he's ever taken in your home's direction.

-------------------------------------------------

This time, is your turn to wake up in a sweat. You can clearly hear the noise of a window lock being picked (your former lover did this way too much in the beginning of your relationship, so much you suspected that he did it for fun, even when you gave him a spare key), and the sheer panic that runs through your whole being when your brain computes it's the nursery window lock being picked, you grab the pistol Dabi gave to you after a night out with your friends almost went sour in a robbery, and runs to your newborn daughter's room. You can feel the tears gathering around your eyes, desperate to hear her make any sound – anything to know she's alive – and when you kick the door open, the gun in your hands seems heavier than it does when shooting, as soon as you reckon the black hair and blue eyes you loved (honestly, love) so much, you seem to forget how to breathe.

The father of your child is holding onto her so tightly, a pained but relieved expression on his face as he clutches her so close to his warm chest, and you feel something wet running down both your cheeks as he presses his trembling lips to her forehead, almost like he expected to find the spare room in your apartment just the way he saw last, empty and full of broken spare parts of utensils and furniture. Your daughter is not bothered at all, like she recognizes him even if she never met him before and your heart is so confused.

Is he gonna leave again?

You longed for him throughout all your pregnancy, wanting him to know he was going to be a father, wanting him to see her first sonograms, feel her first kicks but you knew Dabi could only be there when his mission was over. And you waited, even if every cell in your brain screamed at you for it, confirming what you already suspected – he's abandoned you, both of you.

He thought that maybe you would be gullible enought to believe he was gone for a few months, not the slightest intention of leaving you behind, but in that moment, he knows that you know. And as you choose to let it go once again, he feels all the weight on his shoulders disappear as you both say, in unison:

"Welcome home."

#dabi x reader #bnha x reader #dabi x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha angst

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alfouxxiv · 3 years

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Layers to a Damned Man

one: outside layer

[Name:] “Alfoux...Rovat”

[Hair Style & colour:] “It’s hazel maybe more brown? I don't really know. when I was young...I used to have short hair. But as I grew older, it has become rather long. I keep it tied back when the need for a helmet arises.”

[Eye Color:] “Amber from what I’ve told, though. I assume it could be taken as any colour of that nature.”

[Height:] “I’m tall, I tower over most and very few tower over me. It is a blessing and a curse.”

[Style:] “I’m not one for style and trends but. I was raised to be fancy. To know the right fork to use and to say please and thank you, and it stuck. But I’m far from the term ‘fancy’ as many have said to me countless times before, I am rough around the edges. What else are you going to get, when you take a brume kid out of the brume and into the lap of the houses upon high.”

“I am rough, jaded and scared. I have seen what this world has to give and it has laid its mark to bare upon me. So yes, I am rough around the edges. I’m abrasive, cold in nature. So my style if you must put a thing to it, tends to lean towards such. I own nothing other than my armour on my back, everything that had ‘style’ was stripped from me.”

[Best Physical Feature:] “My hands or eyes, it is one thing many compliment me on. I have no idea what they mean however. Some have also said my jaw line is a nice feature, or my chest... Though those who say my chest is my best feature, are more likely saying that to further their motives of romantic intent which is not something I’m looking for.”

“I myself don't see a best feature, nor even a good feature. It is just a body, or maybe I just don't have the best confidence in myself hm?”

two: inner layer

[Fears:] “All of my fears have come to fruition. All I ever wanted was a home, and not have it stripped from me. But here we are, my life was a lie and those who said they loved me? a lie.”

[Guilty Pleasure:] “The things I enjoy, though very few they are. I do not find guilt in them. I enjoy reading bad romance novels...and I enjoy them, and there is no shame in that.”

[Biggest Pet Peeve:] “People, speaking of those who believe that our great nation is in fact great, because it is far from it. Our land is flawed and blinded by lies, feed to them from who was once in control. Our world is changing and those who do change with it? well, they will be left in the dust of those willing to move for a brighter future....if that is even something we can come to.”

[Ambition for the Future:] “In the long term I guess it would be to fix the mess my ‘family’ made, in the short term? I wish to die. So we will see which comes first.”

three: thoughts

[First Thought When Waking Up:] “Oh grand I am still alive, oh what a fantastic thing to happen.”

[What You Think About the Most:] “Money I guess, I don't have a single gil to my name. So it tends to be about money or when the next job will come by.”

[What You Think About Before Bed:] “I’m either to drunk off my ass to even think, or if I’m not its thinking of another night were I don't sleep.”

[Your Best Quality Is:] “I have no idea, I am a man of very little good qualities. I am sure someone would say otherwise but as this is me talking? I have none.”

four: what’s better

[Single or Group Dates?] “I have never been on a date, I never had the time for such things or ever felt a bond with someone, to ever do such a thing.”

[To be Loved or to be Respected?] “In my heart, it cries out for love? and my mind pains for respect. In days gone by I used to think I had both, but now I know that ‘love’ was a lie. And that ‘respect’? fear. So truly? I have no idea what is better, for I truthfully know what those feel like.”

[Beauty or Brains?] “I am more inclined to lean towards brains. Not saying that beauty isn't a bad thing, because it isn't. I am just more inclined to drift towards those who are, of a more intelligent inclination...though I'm not saying those who are beautiful cant be smart because they can be. They are I....yeah...”

[Cats or Dogs?] “Cats, I have had the pleasure of living with many in my younger years. All thanks to a certain templar. Though I do preferer cats over dogs, that doesn’t mean I don't like dogs. I just enjoy the company of cats more.”

four: do you...

[Lie?] “My job was to lie, to preach a lie and to enact a lie. So yes I have lied. Do I still lie? truthfully it is to myself nearly on a daily basis but to others I try to be more. Up front.”

[Believe in Yourself?] “In days gone by yes, I believed I could do nearly anything, within reason. But now? no...”

[Believe in Love?] “No, not anymore.”

[Want Someone?] “I want to be left alone, yet for some reason people keep bothering me. So no. I don't want anyone.”

six: have you ever...

[Been on Stage?] “I have not, though I have watched many a play when I was younger. They were rather enjoyable at the time. But I had no intention of joining them.”

[Done Drugs?] “I have not no, unless you count smoking as a drug? though it is just tabaco.”

[Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] “Amusing. I’m a brume kid living a house upon high, so what do you think?”

seven: favorite

[Favorite Color:] “I have never really given it much thought. Though my armours have always been on the darker side, I did have a blue set for ceremonies or other such special occasions. So maybe blue? again I have never given it much thought...”

[Favorite Food:] “When I was younger Otix used to make these cream cheese and liver sandwiches, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I still do enjoy them, though now that I’m older I can make them myself. Other than that? I don't really have a preference.”

[Favorite Game:] “I never had the time for games growing up, with education, sword training and fencing and other duties. I never had much free time, so whenever I rarely did have time to myself I just read a book.”

eight: age

[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] “I cant remember for the life of me when my name day is, and to be honest at my age I could careless for the day.”

[How Old Will You Be?] “I think I’m 36? or am I older? I cant remember.”

[Age You Lost Your Virginity:] “who cares, it is not something I wish to divulge to anyone.”

[Does Age Matter?] “I wouldn’t wish to see someone that hasn't even seen their 12th summer in a combat situation if that's what you mean. I have seen many younger people die under the hands, of people who were no where near the front of battle. But if you’re referring to someone younger dating someone older? well that all depends does it not? if it is someone far older praying on someone who shouldn't even be thinking of such a thing, then well that person will happily meet the end of my sword.”

nine: in a partner

[Best Personality:] “Someone who is kind I assume, I haven’t given it much thought seeing as, I have never met someone who I have grown a connection of that type with.”

[Best Eye Colour:] “Does it really matter? Are there really people out there who specifically court those with a specific eye colour.....”

[Best Hair Colour:] “It’s hair who cares, doesn't matter what colour is it.”

[Best Thing to do With a Partner:] “Again, I have never given thoughts like these much time. Maybe that is very telling of my nature. But if I must pick something, than maybe...maybe it would be nice to cook with someone. Maybe even quietly read with them, or go fishing...”

ten: finish the sentence

[I Love...] “To be. Left. Alone.”

[I Feel...] “Empty...”

[I Hide...] “Everything. I am not want to show my hand at the first or even second meeting.”

[I Miss...] “...”

[I Wish...] “I wish I was never adopted, to be left to have that life grow into something that wasn't built on a lie and cursed to live...”

Tagged by: @yafaemi thank you fren so it took so long!!!

#Alfoux Rovat #Alfoux | Ic #character meme #I hand you one grumpy broody asshole who just wants to be left alone (don't do that he actually likes people being around)#this took me most of the night to do but still feeling kinda productive!!#so maybe more to come in the future for this blog or the others?!?!

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fandom-games · 4 years

Text

“I don’t hate this,” Todd admits, propping his laptop on the coffee table and leaning back into the couch. He tugs a blanket over his legs and wiggles until comfortable. “It’s quiet, no one is trying to kill us, and I’ve played more guitar in the last month than I have since like, undergrad.”

“I hate this,” Dirk says, leaning over until he’s visible on the screen as well. “I'm bored and we have no cases.”

“But no one is trying to kill us,” Todd reminds him. “That part is good.”

"And you get to listen to the Todd Brotzman play guitar, all the time,” Tina laughs, toasting them through the screen with a can of La Croix.

“The Todd Brotzman,” Dirk echoes her, turning a teasing smile to Todd. Todd wrinkles his nose in dismay, but Dirk bops forward to press a kiss to his cheek, and Todd blushes.

They’ve barely left the apartment in months, and weekly video calls with Tina are one of the highlights at this point. The universe seems to have gotten the picture that running around is a terrible idea, and has responded by putting a complete hold on all cases. All of them. The agency is closed, but Dirk isn’t even accidentally running into baffling situations that only he can solve. No dragons, no wormholes, no taxidermied ducks. He hasn’t even found any lost cats or missing heiresses, which is frankly uncanny.

He’s honestly driving Todd up the wall – Dirk is far too used to dashing around, jumping into danger, and making trouble to adapt easily to living in quarantine – but it does help that he’s found something new to distract him.

“You guys are sickening,” Tina says, as Dirk peppers more kisses onto Todd’s face. Todd raises a hand to shove his face away, and Dirk makes a wounded noise and clutches his smushed nose.

“Ugh, you’re a rotten boyfriend,” he informs Todd, and flounces off the couch to get something from the kitchen and pretends he isn’t still listening to the video call.

“I can’t believe you guys are finally dating,” Tina says. “Like, I kinda assumed you were when we met, and then you weren’t, so I figured there was a reason?”

Todd’s eyebrows snap together. “Like what?”

“I dunno,” she shrugs. “Like, you already dated and gave up, or he was straight, or you’d sworn a life of celibacy, or something.”

“You thought he was straight?” Todd asks, incredulous. “or that – that I swore to be celibate?” He scrubs a hand over his face, half offended and half laughing. “I thought you were a fan, Jesus, Tina.”

“Hey, don’t blame me,” Tina says, holding her hands up in defense. “You guys were the one with the whole ‘friends-to-lovers-to-friends’ vibe going on, long term.”

“…I don’t even have a response to that,” Todd says, and twists to call into the kitchen. “Hey, grab me a drink?” He turns back to Tina. “In the spirit of not being able to throw something at you through the computer, I’m just going to switch topics. How’s work this week?”

Tina and Hobbs are doing their best to keep the peace in Bergsberg, but it’s tough enough to stop teenagers from drag racing, let alone to get people to wear their masks while at the farmer’s market. “Bunch'a shits,” Tina mutters. “Joren Stone keeps calling us when someone asks him to wear a mask while shopping, and I had to literally shut down a barbecue yesterday. There were, like, forty people there.”

“Jesus,” Todd grimaces.

“That's awful,” Dirk says, sitting back down and handing Todd a glass of water, gulping from his own. They tend to drink beer (Todd) or wine (Dirk) while hanging out in the evenings, but it feels wrong to drink in front of Tina when she’s just earned her one year chip.

“You’re telling me,” Tina says. “I got into this whole thing for Hobbs, and it’s not really feeling worth it right now.”

“I can imagine,” Dirk says sympathetically. He’s pressed up against Todd’s side, and he’s warm and solid. The AC in the apartment leaves the place freezing, even at the beginning of August – it’s a good excuse to cuddle up, to share blankets, to sleep in overlapping piles of limbs and breath. “Are you still staying on his couch?”

Tina nods and twists away from the screen for a second to show off Hobbs’ living room behind her. “It makes sense – we’re both on shift pretty much non-stop lately, and someone’s gotta watch Mustard.” The cat in question chirps at the sound of her name, and Dirk instantly makes a cooing sound and leans way up close to the laptop.

“Sweetie!” he croons, setting down his glass and wiggling his fingers at the screen. “Oh sweet Mustard girl, come say hello to Uncle Dirk.”

Mustard chirps again, then scrambles up onto Tina’s lap; if Tina’s grimace is any indication, she doesn’t skimp on the claws. Mustard headbutts the laptop screen, to Dirk’s delight, and purrs loudly enough to be heard through the built-in mic.

“Oh my darling,” Dirk says. “You perfect creature, you lovely honey girl, I miss you. You are a perfect, faultless being, and I hope that Tina is treating you like a princess.”

“She’s a barn cat, Gently,” Tina says flatly, and Dirk sniffs.

On Farah’s last trip to Bergsberg, Dirk had tagged along. He’d assumed he’d also be staying at Tina’s apartment, and it took no small amount of explaining to get him to understand that this was a romantic weekend for Farah and Tina, he would not be staying with the two of them, and he was welcome to sleep on Hobbs’ couch. He was soundly adopted by the orange critter, and still refuses to believe that she isn’t a pampered housecat instead of a scraggly mouser with a predilection for sleeping on faces.

Mustard gives one final purr at the screen and hops back off Tina’s lap, leaving a drift of orange fur in her wake. Tina sighs tolerantly.

“Anyway,” Todd says, giving Dirk some serious side-eye. “Cat aside, that super sucks, and I’m sorry things are tough right now. And especially sorry that people are being such idiots, and it’s your problem.”

“Eh.” Tina shrugs. “At least I have a job that lets me out of the house. I think I’d fall back off the wagon if I were stuck at home.”

“I don’t know,” Todd says, nudging Dirk. “It has its perks.”

“No, it’s awful,” Dirk says, and huffs when Todd nudges him again. “Unremittingly terrible.”

“Really?” Todd presses teasingly. “Not one single good thing about being at home with me all of the time?”

“Not a thing,” Dirk says, trying his hardest to keep a disdainful expression on his face.

“So finally admitting that you love me –”

“Excuse me,” Dirk sputters, “but I am pretty sure that you told me first that you love me.”

“Didn’t happen,” Todd says, and almost drops his water when Dirk shoves against him, wriggles a hand under his elbow to poke at his side. “Didn’t happen!” he yells to Tina, trying to squirm away without making a mess. “You said it first! You did!”

“You’re a liar, Todd Brotzman,” Dirk laughs, and it could sting, it could be a prick into the wound of years of guilt, but it’s nothing but fond and loving and light, and Todd feels nothing but good and loved and safe.

~~ So I had no idea what this was from at first, but once I was informed and searched up a bit about it, I really enjoyed this fic! It made me laugh and smile throughout! This fic made me want to check out Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency! 98 points! -Jade

#Team Mix A #Round 1 #Challenge 2 #submission

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wrongwiredmind · 3 years

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Before I start saying anything I'd like to warn that the content of this post is both gore and contains suicidal thoughts, if any of that triggers you, please do not read, I care about whoever is reading but I can't hold any responsibility for anything that might follow, stay safe, and remember that no matter what, what comes next in your life will be better, one way or another.

This post is rather long, but that's kinda the point of this page, here we go, then.

So, I had almost my weirdest dream to date, right now, and then I thought, to heck with it!! Let's share something!

So first of all, I need to set some points straight before writing so it might explain a few things, hopefully, without giving a lot away about my personality:

(I have no idea how to put them on order, so they're pretty much a mumbo jumbo. Ah~ My favourite type of writing~. Kidding, of course, I actually prefer reading well written stories and articles)

Anyhow:. 1- I have a really deep unexplainable fear of the vast beast called an ocean (or a sea, or really anytype of deep water), I still go to the beach and pools and whatever, but there's always some sort of an icy grip tightening around my non-existent heart.

2- I love IronMan! So so much, and I kinda adopted Tony Stark!! (no one tell him, please!).

3- my adoration of a certain supernatural series made me love batman! (well, not entirely true, I always loved him, but kinda from afar, you get me?)

4- want me to get hooked on something? Give me a fanfic of it!! (of course like a series or a book, not a substance, you bad bad people!!), that's how I loved Bilbo!! (imagine me saying it in my adorable voice, the one I use when I try to sound cute 😉)

5- I binge read a certain fanfic about those two amazing superheroes saving the world, and themselves!! (I refuse to give up the name since if you think this is me oversharing? You've got another thing coming, honey!) that had a cruise and another prototype of the IronMan suit (don't ask which mark it is but it's so fast it broke the sound barrier!!)

6- I'm a little bit under the weather, (not corona, folks!) and my throat is kinda itchy, to the point that I lost all my vocal prowess for a little more than 24 hours a few days ago, still kinda annoying, and my stomach rebelled so much yesterday (before and during sleeping) that I thought she should take the rebellion symbol from Mr. Che Jivara!! (with all due respect to him, I'm only joking, so please no one takes it seriously).

7- I'm a little bit of a spacetoon (and all that's good and beautiful in our childhood) encyclopedia, want a name of a cartoon or a song you can't remember? I'm usually your best bet, after the second mother, google, of course!!

8- this week is so dead that if you want to see zombies come to our lectures any time in it, seriously we're so under a lot of exams, thank God and the doctors for postponing our tasks and assignments' due-date.

9- if I was a little more of an extrovert I might not have had to write most of these strange snippets about me in a freaking post!!!

And finally, on with the dream! (another thing you probably know by now, that I kinda take you around and under and left and right before I say what I want to say).

So, it was an assignment to some sort of subject (don't ask me which, since as far as I know, not a single thing in our curriculum will make me do what I'm about to do here, or at least, I hope so!!!), we made some type of fall-body suit that needed analysing (who am I kidding, it was the IronMan suit!!), and guess who was picked as a pilot? That's right! Yours truly!!

Anyway, good thing to bad, we had to make the prototype test in the middle of the (as I said above) the vast beast! Mr. Oceanus (I know that that is a Mr. Titan, but who am I, the lowly mortal, to deny his decision to appear in my paragraphs? And no, he didn't show up in the dream, thank God! [ours, not any of the others]),

So, I was put in the cruise, in the middle of the ocean, with the IronMan suit, and a seriously sick stomach, can you guess where we're going with this? (I'm actually kinda enjoying writing this since it reminds me of a certain mad superhero/not superhero who finally joined the XMen!, of course he joined a few years ago but I only watch the second movie circa a month ago) no? let me tell you, a bit of dizziness, seasickness, and an already rebellious stomach? Not a good combination, and remember that I really, really fear the ocean (just remembering the dream and the images in my head is traumatising, let alone living it vividly for a few hours), so, I fell, and strangely enough, I was a good swimmer (ah~ I really count my blessings here since no matter who or when someone taught me to swim, I still can't manage), I was able to stay close to the ship, but couldn't really pull myself up, so all I could do was keep a good hold on a rope tied around the ship and keep my legs in a calculated, slow what feels like a walking-in-place exercise,, (I can still feel the water around me, and the gentle waves of the ocean, it was both a calming feeling and a horrible one) and then...

Something touched the soles of my feet, and it kinda hurt, and it continued to move under me till something hit my toes, it was a shark fin, that's right, a shark choose me as his next meal, how honoured I was!!! Kidding i was kinda terrified, but all that YouTube survival videos came to mind, I left the rope of the ship and kinda dipped under water (triple scare, here, yikes!) and I... pushed.. his muzzle?

Yeah, so not really what they taught you in the videos, my polite nature rears its ugly head again (politeness is not as good as it seems, people! actually once a stray dog entered our home and jumped on the couch, and I was asking nicely and politely if "Mr. Dog would pretty please leave us be", and no, I wasn't scared but mom told me not to touch it, and it kinda was a cute, if a mangy mutt)

I didn't really want to punch the shark, even if my life kinda depended on it here, for a few reasons and actually at least one of them was pretty reasonable, which is, my punch is pretty weak, guys!!

Anyway, of course since its skin kinda scratched my feet there was blood, so it didn't leave me alone, two things I concluded here, first, Mr. Shark was either a lazy guy since he was coming to me slowly as if he either was a giant cat coming for pets no matter how many times you push her, or he was playing with his food, aka, me.

The second thing I discovered was that I was really sick in real life since my imagination couldn't conjure another family member of my guest here (again with the small mercies, can you imagine being alone around all these carnivores? And I bet not all of them will be moving so leisurely!!)

So, I finally decided to be the champ of my cruise and punch the thing in the face, so I pulled up all the power I can in my fist and punched him in his snout!!!

And let me tell you, it's not as easy is they make it sound, first, his nose is actually pretty hard, not the sensitive area they led us to believe, second, my hand really hurt and his skin scratched my knuckles, and I believe it kinda broke a bone in my hand, third, and worse, it actually enraged the mister so much that it left me, J-squared again and this time, flew! in my direction and I swear I still feel his teeth sinking in the shin of my right leg, but before he tore it apart, I actually did the right thing to defend myself, I (and I apologise, Mr. Dream shark, but you really hurt both my leg and my feelings!!) poked his eyes, which made for a very awkward stretch to my body, but finally, I was left alone!! With a mangled leg, of course, but hey!! It's not real life, so let's be glad.

The saltwater stinging my feet, still sick, and more dizzy from blood loss, you have no idea how glad was I that I was still near the ship, a little bit more than a meter but still floating, and then, the bad became worse, I actually goT SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A WHALE!!!!!!!!, YUP!! THE WHALE IN THE PICTURE!!!

And then god with his mercies again, it swallowed the ship but opened his mouth for me to leave, neat, ain't it?

But let me tell you what happened in a little more details, I felt a ripple in the water beneath and around me, and the ship started to sway, and a faint sound of something between a roar and strange song-like-sound, feeling the rumble under me was what made me look, and lo and behold!! The mighty animal wanted the meal that the shark didn't get, bye bye world!! Bye bye the suit that I still didn't to get to wear! And bye bye the report I needed to write for this freaking assignment that because of it I might fail and my friends will rail me when they see me!!

The ship and I couldn't help but enter the mouth of the humongous fish, the sounds of the wood, metal, glass and whatever is the cruise was made of was deafening, so loud and cruel, and I got a more than a few bruises and abrasions, and the feel of his teeth behind my back, sharp and huge and bigger than my own size, was something I don't know how to describe, and suddenly between all the breaking and suffocating water and absolute darkness, something caught my eyes, the slits in the helmet of the suit were lit, I'm sure it was a malfunction because of all the destruction on Mark, but it took all my fear, as if sucking it from my own eyes, and as sudden as it glowed, it vanished, but the calm remained, I closed my eyes, since it didn't matter, and just stopped everything, even trying to hold my breath, but not breathing as well, as if all body functions just... Stopped.

And then my eyes flew open again, not because I woke up, but because of an almost crushing change in the water pressure, it just pushed me forward more inside the huge mouth, and when I thought that this is it, I found the whale mouth moving further away from me, taking the ship and Mark with it, and leaving me alone, in the middle of the ocean that I wanted to say "c'mon!! If you ate me it'll be a win-win situation!!!!" but the second I opened my mouth water rushed inside that I tried swimming up to breath (even though not knowing which way is up was problematic, since something similar happened in real life before I wasn't worried, but that's a story for another time), breaking the surface was a godsend, I tell you! But my misery wasn't in any way over, I was so thirsty I actually wanted to drink salt water a again (and then death, oh wow, how smart?), and once the adrenaline deserted me, my leg returned to trying to kill me, and I don't know if it was a real thing if it happened in real life but it actually stopped bleeding, which was both fantastic, since it means that I won't die of bloodloss, and horrifying since I'm not going to die because of bloodloss, at least then I would have been able to calculate an approximate time for my death, but no, I have to wait and see what kills me next, I almost wished that I just had my previous stomachache and be done with.

Anyway, moving was not really an option, and staying was not either, and the breeze was making me so cold my teeth almost broke from all the shattering they were doing, I wasn't really sure when the others might decide to check on me, and I'm not really sure if I was still in the place they left me at, and I really didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, and cold, and thirsty, in so much pain and so so tired.

I cursed the whale again for not ending my misery, and cursed the shark for being a coward and not finishing what he started and cursing the assignment for being so impossible yet important, and most of all cursing myself, though I don't know why, but my self-loathing decided that now is the time to remember how horrible I am.

As physics does, the water raised me till I was floating on my back, which made me feel even more cold but I didn't have any energy to do anything about it, and strangely, I fell into some sort of doze, not asleep yet not really awake and aware, my whole body half above half into the water, though my right, injured leg, was bend in the knee into the water, which made my pained scream when something took hold of it in its mouth the more agonizing since it made my upper body enter the water, and the thing holding my leg left it alone, and I was able to right myself and look around me for the next threat, the fear was immense that I thought I might get a heartattack, which, admittedly would be better than the pain going to be inflicted upon me any second now, looking around finally led me to what attacked me, and for a moment, with my blurry, and fear filled eyes looked like Mr. Shark has indeed returned to finish what he started, he even returned to his play-with-my-food attitude, but when my eyes finally focused they detected differences, from the lighter shade of colors, to the more smooth curves of the fin and snout, and the gentle, warm (even if it looked sleepy) strange brown tone of the mammels eyes,

The dolphin was about two meters away, and looking at me with intense, twinkling eyes (if they were blue and he wore glasses, or at least marking that looks like it, I would have thought that the dolphin was Dumbledore' animagus and I really wouldn't have hesitated this time to punch his already crocked nose.. err.. snout [which it isn't, the dolphin's snout was perfect] with my broken hand!!) and moved slowly towards me, he pushed me gently with his nose in my abdomen, swam back a few inches, then entered the water and moved towards my leg, not touching it, but he was close enough to feel with my already almost destroyed sensitive nerves, he did all of that while I'm standing/floating, stupefied, hardly even breathing, and then he left, and pushed me again with his snout on my back, this time with more pressure that my body couldn't help but move to the dolphin's right side to let him pass, with my hand just above his back, when my hand touched his prominent back fin, he pushed my hip gently, as if telling me something, and pushed his fin into my hand again, it felt like rubber, and I couldn't help but ask "you want me to hold you?" he made a strange clicking noise then kinda slapped the water with his side fin in the other side of me, and bizarrely, his actions made me feel as if he was saying "are you stupid? Why else would I offer you my magnificent dorsal?!!" I stared, flummoxed, at the creature and couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh, I'm certain that it was the tension, fear and hysteria that made me do it, but for me, the whole situation was so hilarious that it seemed like it made Mr. Dolphin look at me and think "alright, the pathetic, hurt, star-shaped blemish is, indeed, stupid and needs help from my majesty" and then, using his right fin, slapped me non-too-gently on the side of my left hip, squeaking something as well and pushed his dorsal in my left hand again, but when he noticed my wince, he actually kinda rubbed his slippery appendage on my thigh while honest-to-god cooed at me that I couldn't help but smile at him, "it's okay, big guy, and thanks; you know, you kinda remind me of flipper!" and then I petted him a couple of times (which he purred at, I think I need a cat! 🤔🤔) then grabbed his fin in a tight but non constricting grip, my right hand was swollen by now so my only hope was to keep holding using my left hand, after shaking his body a little as if to check my hold, he dove with me into the water!! I almost screamed in fright but then he broke the surface and jumped about three meters high into the air!!!

Hello, there, adrenaline, didn't see you since a few!!

He dove again into the water and this time gradually moved towards the surface, with the water flowing into my hair and pushing me from my saviour, my left leg moved on its own violation and moved around the body as if I was riding a horse,

"WOOHOO!!", I shouted once we were in the air again, it was exhilarating; cold, but thrilling, though the warm body beneath me was perfect, he took me in a straight if slightly curvy line, and when I noticed that, I also noticed that his right fin was not moving as his left, I even thought he was injured for a second, but then a sharp sting in my leg and a slight jerk from him made me understand, my injured leg was beneath his wing-like appendage, and he was being considerate, as a solution, I flattened myself on his back, kept my left leg dangling as if in the horse saddle, my right one, as gently as possible, bend on the knee above the dolphin's back, my left hand gripping the top fin with it touching my shoulder, and my broken right hand above Mr. Flipper's cousin head, and then I came into a a sudden realization!! "does that mean I'm Lopaka????" I asked Flipper the second, and he made a sound suspiciously almost like a snort, but my change of position made him move in a much more pronounced straight line; the speed decreased as I started to doze again, as if he was worried about dislodging me, though the annoying feeling of the salt crusting on my skin woke me up, no idea how much time had past, except that the sun was on either the verge of descending or rising, and finally, finally, I saw land and buildings and what not from afar, and I certainly moved to another continent all together, let alone another country, after reaching the area where I could stand comfortably on the ground beneath the water, people started to come to see what was happening, I ignored them for the sake of my silent companion, suddenly he actually stood on his tail fin, and kinda sort of awkwardly leaned on me without trying to put too much pressure, I didn't understand what was happening though it seemed sorta like a hug?

Anyway, I pat his back again, (and again with the weird purring noise), when he released me I felt buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans, I actually still have my phone!!!

Pulling it out and snorting that after everything that happened my phone was still working!! all I could say is "well, it seems like the time of a picture, Mr. Flipper, sir!" and after an awkward kneeling so I could put my injured arm around him and trying to stretch my bloody leg (both meanings are accurate here, tbh) so it wouldn't interfere with the selfie, I positioned my left hand.

And the last thing I remember is the picture of my (Lopaka the second 😂) wide mouth grin and an equally wonderful grin from Mr. Flipper the second!!!

The End.

It really was a dream I had, with all these details, the only thing that's not entirely true about this post, is saying that this is the weirdest dream I had.

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stickswrites · 4 years

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Keiko Aizawa: Origin “Her Shadows” (Chapter One)

It was the first day of classes at UA and I was less nervous than I probably should have been. I hadn't met anyone new from my class yet and I wasn't sure how well we would get along, not that I cared too much about making friends, but it's nice to get along with heroes you could work with in the future. You see, I got into the prestigious UA High School on recommendation from a few different pro heroes.

Allow me to back up for you. My name is Keiko Aizawa and I am a part of the 80% of the population that has a unique ability called a quirk. Mine is known as shadow manipulation and it does exactly as the name suggests, plus a few other things. I've been using it for years, training and pushing my limits so that I could be like my dad, the pro hero Eraserhead. He's not my biological dad, but he's more of a father than my real one. My biological parents are a story for another time.

Like I said, it was my first day of classes and the first day I would meet the rest of my classmates. I had to drag my ass out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to get to school on time and do my morning routine of going for a run and working out. I'm not exactly a gym rat because my social anxiety would actually manifest and kick my ass for making me go out in public to train, so Dad and I made a small at-home gym and training room so that we could both train, occasionally inviting my best friend over. I guess you could say my personality fits my quirk. I'm like a shadow in a room and lots of people don't notice me, which is fine by me. I don't want to be a pro hero like All Might, although I do respect him (who doesn't). I'd much rather be a hero like Dad, who stays out of the public eye as much as possible.

After I got out of bed, I walked sluggishly out of my room, petting my cat, Yuzuki, who was laying at the foot of my bed. I opened the door to the hallway and walked to the kitchen, where I figured Dad would already be waiting. Sure enough, there he was, sitting at the table and looking like he was half asleep, which he probably was. If you didn't know any better, you'd think that Dad and I were related by more than a name. We acted extremely similar and I even looked kind of like him after spending 8 years with him.

"Good morning," he said lazily, bringing his coffee to his mouth and taking a sip.

"If it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep," I retorted.

Dad snorted into his coffee as soon as I said that, but he composed himself again very quickly. I went about the kitchen looking for something to eat but didn't find anything. Guess we'll have to go grocery shopping sometime soon. I thought to myself. Instead, I poured myself a cup of coffee and grabbed a bag of chips that were definitely not meant to be eaten as breakfast. I was about to sit down across from Dad to eat when our two long-haired cats started circling around me and meowing, signaling that they were ready for their breakfast. Sighing, I set my breakfast down and poured their food into the designated bowls on the ground. I grabbed my breakfast again and sat down across from Dad.

"Are you still not going to tell me who my teacher is?" I asked for the millionth time since I found out I was accepted into UA.

"No," he responded. "You'll figure it out later today. Besides, you already know the majority of the teachers there."

"I know," I pouted while tossing a chip into my mouth. "But still, what's the point of having a dad who is a teacher at the school I'm attending, but not being able to know in advance who my teacher will be?"

"Maybe I should have just kept my job a secret then," he mused with a small smile on his face.

"Maybe you should have," I responded with a smile.

The rest of our breakfast was eaten with very few words exchanged. That's just how Dad and I were though. We didn't use a lot of words, so we showed our love with our actions instead. That's why he got me Yuzuki when I was eight years old. I had been bullied at school for my quirk and my eyes, which were obviously things I could control, and Dad happened to find Yuzuki, who shared a unique eye color with me, at a shelter. After that, I'd been bullied a few more times because of the scars I had on my face. There was an x-shaped one under my left eye and a vertical scar on the right side of my lips. The kids in my classes always found them unnerving. It was after those incidents that he finally pulled me out of public school and homeschooled me instead, which led to me hanging out around UA facilities a lot and meeting almost all of the teachers and faculty there.

"Are you ready for today?" Dad asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I will be after I go for a run," I responded with a smile. "I don't want to get lazy just because I was accepted into the UA Hero Course. Also, Mako is coming over to go on my run with me this morning."

"Good idea," Dad said with a smile.

Mako, or Makoto Saeki, has been my best friend since Dad adopted me. He got accepted into U.A. through recommendations like I did. What he didn't know was that Dad was the one to recommend him. Makoto has an amazing quirk called 'buffer'. It basically allows him to create gravitational plates that he can use to walk on walls, ceilings, air, etc. We've trained with my dad for as long as I can remember and are practically siblings at this point. For the majority of our childhood, we've been over at one of our houses. His parents were both pro heroes, but they'd been killed in action by a pair of villains. So his grandmother, who owns UNERI CO., bought the house that was right next to ours for Makoto and his little sister, Ichika. They had a nanny, Shiore, over at the house, so Makoto was able to come over a lot to hang out with someone his own age. So it was only natural that we became as close as we did and that we began working out together when we decided to apply to U.A. At least three times a week we would go on a morning run together before our days really got started. Today was one of those days. I glanced at the microwave clock to see that I still had half an hour before I was supposed to meet him in front of the tree that stood between our houses.

As soon as I finished my "breakfast", I went to my room to grab my pill bottle and take my medicine, noting that I would have to ask Recovery Girl for a refill in a day or two. Then I changed into some sweats and a muscle tank top before pulling my dark purple hair back into a ponytail and pinning my bangs back so that they were no longer in my face. As I reached down to tie my sneakers' laces, I scratched Yuzuki's chin as he tried to force himself under my hands. Finally being able to tie my shoes with the cat on my feet, I stood up and stretched a bit. I grabbed my phone, earbuds, and the armband I put my phone in when I ran and walked out of my room. I passed by the kitchen as I put my armband on and put my phone in it.

"I'm heading out now, Dad!" I called into the house as I bent down to pet Hana, Dad's cat, one more time before I left.

"Be safe!" he called back. "Tell Makoto I say 'hello'!"

With a promise that I would, I walked out the door and closed it behind me, making sure neither of the cats escaped. I took a deep breath of the crisp morning air before walking to the tree Mako and I always met in front of and saw that he wasn't there. I checked the time just to see if I was early or if he was late, but was disappointed when I saw I was a few minutes early.

"Damn," I said quietly. "Now I don't have anything I can hold over him."

While waiting for Mako, I took the time to plug my headphones into my phone and find a song I wanted to listen to when we would start running. The few minutes passed quickly and Mako was right on time. His messy, deep maroon hair catching the morning light like his eyes. One of the things the two of us had bonded over was our eyes. They didn't look the same, but we'd both been bullied for them in the past. While my eyes had a kaleidoscope of blues and purples, Mako had heterochromia. His right eye was bright orange and his left eye was an equally bright red.

"Hey, Koko!" he said cheerfully, a bright smile on his face as he pulled an earbud out of his ear.

"Hey, Mako," I responded with a smile. "How are you doing this morning?"

"I'm doing alright," he said with a small pout appearing on his face. "Although, my orange shirt was still wet from the wash, so I had to wear my yellow one."

"Oh don't pout," I said with a small laugh. "Yellow suits you just fine."

"You're just poking fun at me because you were able to find your purple tank top today," he retorted.

"Whatever," I said while putting an earbud in, knowing it was true. "Are you ready to head out?"

"You bet," he responded, clicking shuffle on his music."Normal route?"

"You know it," I said with a large smile as I clicked play on my music and put the other earbud in.

The two of us made our way on our usual jogging route. As usual, we didn't talk about anything while running, but that may have also been because we were both anxious about what U.A. could bring for us. Within a half-hour, we got back to our houses and said our goodbyes so that we could do our separate morning routines. I walked back into my house, not breathing super heavily because I was used to the run, but my face was still somewhat flushed with exertion.

"You back already?" Dad asked from the kitchen sink, washing his coffee mug. "That was pretty quick."

"Guess Mako and I both have some nerves then," I responded, pulling my earbuds out of my ears and wrapping the cord for storage. "After all, we are starting the Hero Course today."

Dad hummed in agreement as I went back to my room to do some stretching before showering. As soon as I walked in, Yuzuki greeted me from my bed with a meow.

"Good to see you too," I mumbled while scratching under his chin, causing a purr to come from his throat.

Glancing at my alarm clock, I realized that I only had another half an hour before I had to leave with Dad to get to the school. Sighing, I stopped petting Yuzuki and began stretching. Afterward, I quickly showered and got changed into my school uniform. Pulling my mostly dry hair back into a half-up ponytail, I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a silent pep talk. I wrapped the hair tie around one last time before letting my hands fall back to my sides. I nodded at myself as I fixed my bangs a little bit, satisfied with my appearance, and walked back into my room from the adjoined bathroom. I walked over to my bed and grabbed my backpack and made sure it had all of the school materials I would need. After seeing I had all of my stuff, I slung my bag onto my back and gripped the strap.

"Kiki, you ready?" I heard Dad call from the front door.

"Yeah!" I responded. "I'm coming!" I turned back to my bed and bent down to give Yuzuki, who was still laying on my bed in "loaf mode", a kiss on the head, which he shoved into my face as an attempt to get attention faster. "Goodness, you're so needy," I mumbled, standing back up straight.

I pet his head one more time before walking out of my room and to the front of the house, where Dad was waiting with his hero gear on. When I got over to him, he didn't open the front door right away, but instead straightened my tie, which I had spent 10 minutes on to try to make it look presentable but apparently failed to do so. After he fixed it, I gave him a grin that he responded to with a wide smile of his own.

"Let's go," he said, pulling the front door open.

We both walked out of the house and to the car in the driveway. Makoto, with his hair styled this time and his school uniform on, walked out of his house at the same time and came over to the car.

"Hey, Mr. Aizawa!" He greeted cheerfully. "Thanks for agreeing to take me to school! Shiore wasn't sure what she was gonna do with Ichika if she drove me. She gets carsick, you know."

"It's no problem at all, Makoto," Dad responded. "I'm happy to help out. And please, as long as we're not at school, just call me Shota."

Makoto and I were two of the only people Dad ever let his strict and uncaring facade down around. With me, he never even bothered to try to keep his facade up but he tried to keep it up with Makoto around. He gave up on that too though after we'd seen him cry while watching the Lion King with us when we were kids.

"Alright," Dad started. "Hop in the car and let's get going, you two."

Mako and I nodded and both got in the backseat of the car. The car ride was pretty quiet, but that was also normal for us. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence like one might expect, but to someone outside of us three, it might appear to be so.

The car ride wasn't very long, maybe a half-hour or so, but it felt longer as I thought of all the possibilities of today. Soon enough, Dad pulled into the staff parking lot of the school, by the back of the building, and parked. As he turned the car off, Mako and I grabbed our bags and stepped out of the car, taking the time to stretch our legs before stepping toward the building. Right before we walked into UA High School, Dad stopped us.

"I'm proud of you," he said. "Both of you. You're exceptional young people and I'm sure you'll be some of the best students this school has ever seen."

I swear both Mako and I started tearing up as we practically threw ourselves into Dad's arms, hugging him tightly. I squeezed his waist tightly as I felt the tears start to overflow. Dad wrapped his arms around the two of us and we stayed like that for a few more seconds before Mako and I released him.

"We'll make you proud, Dad," I responded, wiping the tears from my eyes.

Mako nodded vigorously as he wiped his eyes as well. Dad let out a small chuckle and placed a hand on top of my head.

"Both of you already have," he responded with a smile.

Mako and I turned to each other with wide smiles before turning back to Dad, who put his hands in his pockets. Without another word, he gave us another smile and walked in through the door we'd opened, kissing the top of my head as he passed by.

"He's the kind of hero I want to be when I graduate," Makoto said.

"Same here," I replied with a small smile. "He does it for the right reasons and not for the fame."

"It is strange that not many heroes choose to be humble," Makoto told me with a newfound determined glint in his eyes. "I'll be one of them."

I nodded in agreement and we finally walked into the building, looking at the place that would be our path to becoming the heroes we longed to be. We stopped in the middle of the empty hallway.

"Ready or not?" I asked with a small smile, holding my fist out to Makoto.

"Here we come," he responded with a grin, bumping his fist with mine.

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

Hey everyone! This is my first MHA story and I'm super excited to share it with you. A few things, unless it is otherwise specified, all artwork is done by me. I don't claim to own any of the My Hero Academia characters or plotlines. Those all belong to the creators. I do, however, own Keiko Aizawa as well as her parents. My friend owns Makoto and his family, including Shiore and Ichika. He has given me permission to use him in this story. The picture at the top of this chapter is what Keiko looks like! On the left is her everyday clothing and the right is her hero suit. Anyway, I'm super excited for you all to read this story that I've spent so much time on!

-Sticks

Word Count: 3007 words

#mha fanfiction #mha oc #her shadows fanfiction #kirishima x oc #bnha fanfic #bnha oc #fanfiction #writing #writer #my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #her shadows #keiko aizawa

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lovelylogans · 6 years

Note

Could you do "I'm sorry I got way too into playing house" for the weird sentences prompts? 😁

ao3 | other fics on tumblr

warnings: mentions of past animal abuse, mentions of dog killing other small animals (birds and rodentia), some vague anxiety stuff

pairings: platonic lamp, gen

words: 2,203

notes: sure thing! i am also shoehorning this in as a sequel to this previous prompt fic of mine in which the sides adopt a tripod pitbull puppy, so, like, Dog Content™

The puppy’s name, once they came up with it, was just too perfect, really.

“Croft,” Roman cooed, and Croft lifted his head from where he’d been napping on Virgil’s lap. “Crofty, honey, come to papa, I’ve got a new toy!”

Croft snuffled a little, settling his big, meaty head back on Virgil’s nap and staring at Roman with doleful eyes.

Roman sighed at him. “You’re the laziest puppy I’ve ever met,” he said, lowering the toy he’d been squeaking.

“Did you not hear him doing laps in the hallway at three in the morning?” Logan asked, from where he was absentmindedly running his hand up and down Croft’s back. “The dog is nocturnal.”

“Wonder where he gets that from,” Patton said, and shot a Look to all three of his roommates, as if to truly underline how horrible they were at following Logan’s advice, even Logan himself.

Logan’s original name idea was Crofter’s Premium Spread Logan’s Berry Organic Jam, potentially shortened to CPSLBOJ, which was understandably shot down by everyone in the room. Roman’s next proposal was Crofter’s, to which Virgil said they weren’t naming the dog after a fucking jam brand, and Patton proposed the mediation of Croft: so they could say he’d been named after the jam brand or after Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider franchise.

So Croft had immediately been given a Croft collar tag with all of their phone numbers on it, a custom jam jar toy Roman had commissioned from someone on Etsy that Croft rarely touched, and a fluffy Lara Croft toy that was tucked up by his dog bed that he also rarely touched.

Croft was currently pretty small, since he was still a puppy; according to the vet, he’d probably top out around 80 or 90 pounds. But right now he just had really big ears, a very long tail, and three massive paws that he tripped over pretty often.

Virgil scratched absently behind Croft’s ears, and Croft let out a sort of grumbly happy noise; he was a talkative kind of dog, with a lot of sighs and grumbling and soft little barks they all unanimously called boofs.

He also had the tendency to arororowowow! at them whenever they all left him for a period of time, leaping up on them, eager to be pet, which Logan was trying to train him out of, because whenever he leapt up he didn’t exactly have two stable paws to land on when he came back down.

It wasn’t like they all left him all at once very often; really mostly whenever they went out to dinner. Their schedules were different enough that most of the time one of them was home to take Croft out when he needed it and work on basic training with Croft. He was a smart little guy, and very food-and-affection motivated, so Croft had down the basic sit, shake, lay down thing; they were still working on roll over and heel. And stay; he’d get so excited to follow after wherever they were walking off to, he’d gambol right after them, tail wagging excitedly.

Croft had been living with them for less than a month, but he’d managed to capture all of their hearts basically immediately.

Roman had, in fact, immediately recreated Rosa’s I’ve only had Arlo for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in the room and then myself from Brooklyn 99, with all of them. All four were on their various social medias to announce that they’d gotten a dog, and also printed out and framed in the living room.

It was odd, to look at the photo and Croft now; he’d already grown so much in the month they’d had him.

Croft had his problems too; potty-training was an ongoing battle. He couldn’t handle other dogs, and either got aggressive or whimpering and frightened whenever he saw them, so they always walked him early in the morning, when there wouldn’t be other dogs around. He was a menace to most small rodentia and birds; he’d already killed three robins, a mouse, and had grievously injured a possum.

But he was such a cuddly, eager boy—any difficulties were well worth it.

“Fatherhood has changed me,” Roman had declared once, which—well. Kinda, yeah.

Once they started parting ways, Croft picked his head up from Virgil’s lap, following after them; he slept in their beds, because they were all softies. Croft tended to alternate between all of them, moving from room to room throughout the night. They’d all learned to either sleep through a dog hopping on their bed, or to sleepily roll over, give him a clumsy pat, and go right back to sleep.

Croft was also a bed hog, so it was a bit of a struggle to actually get in bed once he was there; a lot of the time, they had to lift him, set him aside, and quickly lay down under the covers before Croft could decide he wanted to take over their pillows or the center of the bed.

Once Logan came back to his room, ready to curl up in bed, he was unsurprised to see Croft already sprawled wide across the bed.

“Croft, move, you know the drill,” Logan said, shoving him to the other side of the bed and promptly sliding under the covers, turning off the lamp, sending them into darkness; there was the familiar press of Croft’s cold nose as he situated himself, pressing as close as he could get to Logan.

Logan wrapped an arm around him, sleepy, and pressed his nose against Croft’s back, inhaling his doggish scent. He loved this dog, to a degree he’d never actually admit out loud.

“Good boy,” Logan whispered, and Croft let out a sleepy little sigh.

Roman woke up to a tongue on his face.

Roman squinted, and laughed a little, narrowly dodging a doggy kiss straight into the mouth, nudging Croft’s head aside.

“M’up, m’up,” Roman said, and patted him on the back. “Let’s hope you didn’t leave any surprises around the apartment, how about a bit of a w—stroll, huh?”

Croft had quickly learned what the w word meant, so they either spelled it out or used some other word, lest Croft start bouncing around eagerly.

No surprises, which was good, and Roman tugged on some clothes, hunting around for a plastic baggie and Croft’s leash, at which point, Croft started bouncing eagerly, running between Roman and the door, jumping and wagging his tail so fast his whole butt wiggled.

“I know, I know!” Roman said with a laugh. “Okay, now—sit.”

Croft sat. Well, mostly; he sat in such a way that his butt didn’t quite touch the ground.

“Let’s go!” Roman said, opening the front door, and Croft charged forth, yanking Roman forward with his odd-hopping gait, throwing himself into the walk with all his force.

Roman liked taking Croft on these early morning walks; it was some exercise, which was nice, and… well.

He’d never tell his roommates this, but Croft was a really good listener.

He knew that Croft didn’t actually understand him, but he was good at seeming like he did; there were the huffs, and pants, and looks that he did often. It was just kind of nice to… talk, sometimes.

“It’s probably going to be a bit of a long day,” Roman told Croft, as Croft sniffed interestedly at a tree. “I’m not going to be here a lot. Rehearsals are really picking up pace.”

Croft made a snuffling noise.

“Yeah, I know, I haven’t been here as much,” Roman said, “but you’ve got the other three, too, ya know? I’ll try and keep morning walks free and extra long, how about that?”

Croft tilted his head a little, and trotted-hopped onwards. Good enough for Roman.

The walk in the brisk fall weather continued like that; Roman talking to Croft about his schedule, his worries, and each time, Croft would make some kind of noise, or wag his tail.

It was just nice, Roman guessed, to talk to someone who’d keep all your secrets, and not judge you for silly things like I’m worried that I’m going to mess up onstage and everyone’s going to hate me for it. Croft would just wag his tail and lick him and flop down on the couch with him once they’d gotten through with the walk, demanding all the pets that Roman could give him.

Listen, Virgil had been team cat, all the way. He was as surprised as anyone to find out how much he liked having a dog.

Virgil cracked his eyes open when the door creaked open, irrationally afraid (when wasn’t he irrationally afraid, though?) that Patton had gotten back early and noticed Virgil wasn’t on campus today. Virgil frowned, because no one was there.

The sudden displacement of his mattress spoke of a different story, and Virgil let a hand flop in Croft’s direction.

“Hey, bud,” he said, voice scratchy. “I’m not really… at my best today, so if you wanna play tug or something—”

Croft made the grumbling-sighing noise at him, and instead laid his big head on Virgil’s chest, huffing a breath through his nose.

“Oh,” Virgil said, at last, and paused, hand hovering, before he at last let it come down on Croft’s head. “Cuddle time, huh? That’s what you want?”

Sometimes, it seemed like Croft’s favorite times of day were in the early morning, when he cuddled up against any of them and they both snoozed until they actually had to wake up. Virgil had never before met a (would be) 90 pound dog who was so convinced he was a lapdog.

“Mkay,” Virgil murmured, and they adjusted—Croft ended up, essentially, on his side, mostly laying on top of Virgil, head tucked in the space between Virgil’s head and neck.

Virgil, hesitantly, wrapped his arms around Croft’s body—to make sure he stayed in place and didn’t fall off, and stuff.

The warmth and the weight of him was doing something to make Virgil’s eyelids feel heavier, though. Croft would occasionally rumble in his ear, in his sleep; Virgil envied the swiftness with which he could fall asleep.

“You’re a good boy,” Virgil managed to say, and started petting Croft; his fur was kind of bristly, and it provided an interesting texture under his hands. Something else to focus on.

“Such a good boy,” Virgil murmured, hand continuing to make the lazy path up and down Croft’s back.

So dogs weren’t that bad, after all.

“Crofty Crofty Croft!” Patton sing-songed, bent forward, hands on his knees. “Who’s a good boy? Whosagoodboy?!”

Croft was eagerly wagging his tail. Who is the good boy?!

“Is it you?!” Patton crooned, and giggled as Croft hopped a little. “Is it you?! I think it is! You’re such a good boy, Croft!”

He scooped up Croft in his arms (he was genuinely considering taking up weightlifting so he’d be able to keep picking him up once he was fully grown) and planted a kiss on his little forehead, Croft wiggling in his arms.

Patton was alone for the evening, but that was okay, because he’d thought of some things to try with Croft! Things they’d never done with him before!

“We’re gonna do an experiment, baby!” Patton crooned, and at last set Croft down. “Okay, so, here we go! I got some new things to try!”

There were a lot of new toys. Unsurprisingly, Croft loved all the ones that would transfer a treat to himself; Patton could relate to wanting only food and love. Like, a lot.

To the point he immediately snapchatted an image of Croft chasing clumsily after a treat ball with that exact caption to his roommates.

Okay, he might have snapchatted a lot of pictures of Croft. His camera roll was now almost exclusively pictures of Croft or his friends, but really mostly Croft.

Patton, at last, dug out the piece de resistance, as Roman would say, and crooned at Croft to come—and immediately realized some flaws with this plan.

But he was gonna make it work!

“Patton, we’re home,” Virgil called, and frowned.

Croft hadn’t come running as soon as they came through the door. That was… different.

Logan and Roman were exchanging looks of a similar degree, Logan already half-crouched, as if just out of habit. He cleared his throat and stood up, straightening his tie.

“Kitchen!” Patton called, and all three progressed forwards, before coming to a stop.

Patton, blinking, turned from where he’d been stirring a pot on the stove, holding Croft (in a onesie) on his hip, as if Croft was a baby.

“Um,” Virgil said at last. “Patton.”

Patton blinked at him, and looked at Croft, and then back to them, before he laughed a little nervously, setting Croft back on the ground so Croft could hop forth and demand love.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I got way into playing house.”

“We baby this dog too much,” Logan said ruefully, before immediately helping Croft unearth a slightly trapped treat from the treat ball and giving it to him.

“He deserves it,” Roman declared, and nobody could quite find it in themselves to disagree.

#my fic #my fanfic #lamp #sanders sides fanfic #anonymous #ask #logan #virgil #patton #roman

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inkstainedfanfics · 6 years

Note

Secret Santa, Uhh I can try my best with this heist AU but uh if it's not too much trouble could you link an OC with references rather than a reader one. I'm so sorry I just don't know if i'll have too much time for the AU but i'll do my best honest I will. The refs would just be in case i'm so sorry.

All right, no worries about the heist AU then! You can write/draw something normal and cute, just regular Newt x OC! I think the one request I really have is that in some way it’s fluffy? I don’t really have a specific prompt in mind, just something sweet.

Below the cut I have facts about the OC I chose. She’s based on a character I created in a game I play, so there’s some info that comes from that (like the daggers part or a couple of the names in the excerpts I pulled). I hope this helps. If you have any questions/need any more information, lmk.

Catriona Hawke

• Eye Color: Light Green

• Hair Color: Red in Ponytail

• Skin Color: White

• Age: About 24-ish

• Gender: Female

• Height: About 5’6

• Faint Scar across Nose from fighting someone that made fun of her sister when they were younger

• Tattoo of a crow on her shoulder blade in memory of an old friend of hers

• Muscular from working out and working physically demanding jobs

• Has a bad shoulder that will hurt after lifting something heavy

• Very headstrong, not afraid to stand up for people she loves – this gets her in trouble sometimes, but she doesn’t mind as long as the people she cares for are safe

• Sharp-witted, clever, sarcastic to those she doesn’t know well

• Her sarcasm is softer, nicer, when she’s with people she knows well, and she’s often motherly toward them, sometimes bordering on overprotective. She’s definitely fiercely protective and would do anything to help someone she loves.

• She has one younger brother and sister – they’re twins (Ava and James). Catriona adores them, though she hesitates to admit it, preferring to tease them instead. She’s especially close with her brother; they used to pull pranks on their sister and other neighborhood kids when they were younger.

• She really doesn’t like touch, but doesn’t mind reaching out to touch a hand to comfort someone. The only person she’s truly comfortable with prolonged contact with is her sister and someone she’s in a long-term relationship with

• Catriona loves animals and would adopt an entire shelter if allowed

• She knows how to fight because of her father. He taught her how to fight with daggers in case she ever found herself in a bad situation when she grew up (he worried for her given her sharp tongue and boldness)

• Her mother passed away when she was young – about 14 – so she took on the role of helping her siblings and bringing in money for her father by working odd jobs

• She’s really bad at dealing with grief – will often just ignore it by working hard until it catches up to her and she breaks down in the arms of a friend or family member

• She tries to help people that seem to be struggling – will often give them money or offer them aid however she can, especially if they’re young like she was.

• She is horrendous at singing but still does anyway

• Broke her arm when she was ten by jumping off a swing

• She snores really loudly when she sleeps + she splays out and takes up the whole bed

• She’s actually loud in general

• Very staunch in her beliefs and will argue for them

• Has a good sense of humor and can take a joke well

• Loves traveling, but most especially loves seeing the ocean because of how vast it is. She loves the idea of just getting on a boat and setting sail and seeing where she eventually lands.

• Her favorite treats are sour candies, but if she was in the HP world, she would live and die for Butter beer

• Enjoys reading or having stories read aloud to her

• Can be lazy sometimes and wants to spend days off of work just napping on and off all day

Her personal theme song would definitely be something upbeat but positive like One More Time by I Prevail, esp. the lyrics Sometimes you gotta go down swinging, get up get up feel the kick drum beating one more time

Sarcastic/Witty Dialogue

“I told you she’s easy to fall in love with. A dream, a nightmare, a mess of a girl that everyone sees the worst in. Everyone but you. I could’ve warned you, I suppose, could have told you she’s use you and leave you but would you have believed me? I doubt it.”

“He’s not listening,” Cat hums in a sing-song voice, her gaze flickering to Samson for a brief moment, falling to the knife in his hand, to the already bloodied blade.

“Please, dear, don’t interrupt now. Not when I’ve almost changed his mind on you.”

Cat grits her teeth, hand clamped over the wound in her side, green eyes never straying from Tyler’s expression. “He doesn’t buy it. Any of it.”

Samson tsks his tongue, head slowly waving from side to side. “You’re wrong.”She forces a grin to her face, straightening her back and thrusting her shoulders as far back as the pain in her side will allow for. “Me? Wrong? Impossible, Tin. I’m always right. It’s honestly probably the most annoying thing about me.”

Though Cat says it with all the swagger she can muster, she watches Tyler intently, positive he isn’t being swayed but wary nevertheless. Samson’s manipulated stronger men than Tyler. She wouldn’t have him abandon her now.

Samson scowls. “Tin is a worthless nickname.”

“Oh? Is it? Then why didn’t you choose a better alias?”

Samson turns his attention to Tyler. “Why don’t you just get on with it, boy? Me or her?”

Breaking Down DialogueCat wraps her arms around her knees, drawing them to her chest as she stares at the worn toes of her shoes. “Fen is gone, and I’m alone.”

The sudden sobriety startles Ava into silence, the joke she’d been making left abandoned in her throat. “Cat—”

“He could be halfway around the world, Ave, and I can’t… I won’t…” The words catch, breaking on the knot in her throat. “He’s gone,” she whimpers once more before the tears that had been building for three full weeks finally break, rolling down her cheeks and filling her mouth with the taste of salt.

Ava draws her sister in, holding her and running a hand down her hair, murmuring useless words into the air, praying Fen returned soon.

Caring/Motherly Dialogue

Cat cocks her head, fingers running down Fen’s cheek. “You’re upset. What is it, what’s the matter?”

He shrugs her touch off his face, shaking his head. “It does not concern you.”

“But it could,” she murmurs, voice so fierce, so determined in its intent that he looks up, meets her eyes.

“Catriona, you need not worry. I can care for myself.”

“A little help couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“Would you accept help?”

She grins, attitude that he loves making its way past her care for a moment, “Not all of us are as wonderful as me, Fenris. Now tell me, what is it?”

He sighs, leaning back in his chair, the letter he’d been writing abandoned in front of him. “You really are a work of art, you know that? It… has to do with my sister.”

Cat falls into the chair next to him, brows creased in worry and confusion.

“You’ve heard from her?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“How is it unfortunate? I thought you’d like to hear from her.”

He tells her the tale, unweaves the narrative, tells her of the fear he has about a possible betrayal. By the time he finishes, she’s reached out to grasp his hand, her own touch warm and not unwelcome.

“I’ll be there, then. At your side. She won’t have a chance to hurt you, I swear it.”

He smiles despite himself, gaze falling to where she’s firmly clutching his hand. “I believe you, Catriona. Thank you.”

She squeezes his hand before standing. “I’m here for you, Fenris. For anything you need.”

He nods. “I understand.”

#answered #secret santa #I hope this is useful!#sorry if it isn't :/#just lmk if you need anything else about Cat though!!

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surveystodestressme · 7 years

Conversation

15.

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? i've been in three actually lol

02. Do you have a lot of scars? kind of..

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? no

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? not like physically

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? not that i know of

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? yeah, i think i am

07. Are you self conscious of how you look? not at all.

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? i only put makeup on occasionally and when i do it's only lipstick or eyeliner

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? nah

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? their personality and how they treat others.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? not very long. my parents never stuck to it

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? i really want to say that i'd do the right thing and have the baby then just give it up for adoption... but at this point in my life, i really can't have a child so i honestly don't know

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? sometimes i do.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? taking my loved ones away from me

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? i'm not for sure

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? i'll usually say really passive aggressive things or just say that i want to be left alone

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. when i was giving up on hurting myself. i mean, i guess i shouldn't say it like that. when i decided to get help and stop hurting myself. it was hard to get help and it was a hard thing to stop.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? my parents have fought before but nothing serious

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? well, when i went to school, i just ignored them. i was so used to getting picked on that i just figured it was always gonna happen, ya know?

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. honestly, the most traumatizing death i've ever gone through was my cat, lilly. she was 16 years old. she was a part of my life since i was 3 years old. she was so important to me. she slept with me every single night, under the cover and cuddled up next to me. she was so lovable. i saw her deteriorate over her last year of life. it was so hard because i saw her become really lazy, she lost half of her body weight, she stopped eating, she stopped sleeping with me, she even cried whenever people tried to pet her. it was so hard to get over her death because she was everything to me. she was the best cat ever. i will never forget her

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? i've had several

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? i mean, i think i'm pretty experienced.

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? i've been through a lot in the past.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? i will be once i finish college

25. How old do you act? i think i act my age

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? nah

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? family probably

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? yeah, i think so

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? two. i used to get jealous of my sister all the time because all the people that i had crushes on always had a thing for her and it annoyed me lol

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? at least once a week if not more

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? i'm 4'11" and i wish i was at least 5 foot lol

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? lol no

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? i think i'm pretty mature

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? nahh i have no reason to be scared. i'm actually excited for the future

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? absolutely

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? real

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? optimist

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? i think actions lead the way definitely

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? i don't think so

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? i have people who love and care about me who are always here for me

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? i used to, but i've got it under control now

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? nope

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? nada

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? absolutely not

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? not anymore at all.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) darude sandstorm

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? i make people laugh a lot

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? sometimes i do, but it's not super common

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! i can't think of anything right now

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? lol yes, honestly. in high school they used to move me to sit by other people and then i'd just talk to them too.

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? to learn

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? smart.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? i finished high school and am currently attending college

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? i have no idea, i usually get between A's or B's

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? science

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? yes i am!

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? i think so

58. Is love worth it? i believe so

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? it used to bother me, but honestly some people just fall really fast and that's okay. i told jack i loved him after only dating for 3 months so i definitely believe someone can honestly just fall in love quickly and that's perfectly normal.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? i only tell people i love them if they mean a lot to me

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? yeah

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? probably just slightly below average

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? i'm in college now

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? well, i've already found the perfect person so i'd rather win the millions

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 8

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? nope

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? i don't judge people that do it, it doesn't bother me any

68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? nah, i don't judge people based on how much sex they do or don't have

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? nahhh

70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! nice i guess lol

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? it usually takes some time

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? it takes some time for me because i've been screwed over before.

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? ^^^^

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? i don't know, when i trust them fully, i guess??

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? i tell my parents anything if they ask, and same goes for friends.

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? i mean, yeah i've had bad experiences with people but those experiences have made me who i am today and i wouldn't be me without experiencing those things

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? yes and no. i'd rather to have loved and continue to be loved and love in return lol

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? optimistic

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? sure

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: i'm sure i have but i can't think of anything

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? i try to figure it out myself before asking for help

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? i don’t question it at all.

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? let’s be real, probably not.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? i will probably confront them

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? the kennedy assassination or the moon landing

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? manners

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? be disrespectful, hurt someone on purpose, do something completely wrong or illegal

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? yeah

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? they just yell at me or send me to my room

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? it depends on the person/situation

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? junior yr of college

92. When will you graduate high school/college? a couple years still

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? i took a year off from school then i went to the junior college by my house

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? i love it

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? nah

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? several times

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? yeah, that's how i got into smoking cigarettes. but i drank all on my own.

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? nah

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? i wanted to. i knew him but we were just friends, i almost had a threesome with him and my best friend when i was really drunk

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? independent

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? i used to be like that but no more

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? i wear what i want

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? not usually

105. What makes you different from people your age? i don't really know lol

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? my computer

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? my loved ones are more important, i would sacrifice myself for them in a heartbeat

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? my baby blanket

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? my cat!!

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? they’re about the same.

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? happiness and a sense of accomplishment

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? my loved ones.

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? nah

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? not that i can think of

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? kind of

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? independent

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? crime, rape, abuse

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? absolutely

124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? nurture over nature.

125. Do you think people are generally good? everyone can be good

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? yes i am happy with my life

127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? nope i get them from tumblr

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? depends on if it's change that's going to benefit my life or not

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? yes i do

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? idk.

#questions #surveys #survey #quiz #bored

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yournewapartment · 7 years

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I'm intending to move out of my mom's by fall, but I have two cats, and idk much about how to care for them on my own. I want to do it right, but I'm not very good with figuring out vet info or other care stuff for them.

Okay, so I’ve just spent the last two hours writing this post for you, in the hopes that you will change your mind. It’s way longer than I intended, but I tried to be thorough and comprehensive. Know that I have strong opinions about how to raise cats because they’re a huge part of my life. You might not agree with what I have to say, but this is what’s worked for me. I urge you to try different things and find out what works best for you! Before I get into it, let me talk about my cats…

I have a four year old orange tabby (Mason) and a sixteen year old tortoiseshell cat (Gretel) pictured in Appendix D. They have completely opposite personalities (Mason is super confident and talkative, Gretel is more standoffish) and they did NOT get along for the longest time. I’ve been with Gretel since she was three years old, so we’re very close and she’s very protective of me. After we moved into our current apartment, my boyfriend and I bought Mason to keep Gretel company. He was a rescue cat that had been previously returned after being adopted once, because he was “fresh”. He gave me the runaround when he first moved in, so I understand what it’s like to have a difficult cat.

It’s taken two years for them to both be comfortable with each other, but last week they fell asleep on the bed together (see Appendix D) and it was so beautiful. These cats have brought so much joy into my life, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. All these experiences, good and bad, have taught me that I never want to live without cats in my life.

Please feel free to direct message me if you want to talk about what taking care of cats on your own will mean for you. I am here for all your cat needs!

The Complete Guide to Living on Your Own (With Cats)

Phase 1: Your New Apartment

Before moving into your new home, follow these steps to make the process as comfortable as possible for your cats. You need to understand that they will be upset and act strange for the first few days, and this is absolutely normal and expected. Give them time- they’ll adjust.

1. Move the cats last. Move everything else you own into your new apartment, and get it set up as much as you can before moving your cats. Make sure there are plenty of places for them to hide that are easily accessible, like under your bed or in the back of a closet. Initially your cats will be very shell-shocked, and it will be easier for them to adjust if they smell familiar furniture and are able to find a secure place to hide.

2. Feliway. Buy yourself Feliway and spray it on walls and around doorways at your kitty’s eye level. I can’t tell you what it is or why it works (Science Side of Tumblr please explain), but your cats smell it and will feel much calmer. Feliway also helps when your cat starts peeing on everything, see Phase 2: Tantrums.

3. Moving your cats. If you have two cats, make sure that you move both cats at the same time. Even if they’re not the best of pals, a familiar face in a time of stress will soothe them. In the car ride they will cry, drool, pee, and sound like they’re dying. This is horrible to hear, but no that it’s only temporary. If you were in their situation you would act the same way!

Hyperventilating. If you hear your cat start to hyperventilate, move them out of the carrier and comfort them immediately. I was transporting a cat with a high fever to the vet once and he started to do this, so I literally pulled over and drove with the cat in my lap the rest of the way. Once in my lap, he relaxed and started to breathe normally. The vet told me that I was lucky I did this, because the cat could’ve had a heart-attack.

4. In the new apartment. Open your cat carrier and allow your cats to explore their new home at their own pace. Depending on your cat’s confidence, they might make a beeline for your bed and hide under it for the next two days. This is absolutely fine. Your cats may not want to eat or use the bathroom during these first few days, and this is normal. You often won’t eat if you’re stressed out, so understand that when they’re hungry, they’ll eat. If one of your cats is very upset, place their food and water bowl in the room they’re hiding in, so that they won’t feel threatened while they eat.

5. Give it time. This could be less than a day or over a week, but your cat will come out from their hiding space of their own accord. They will walk around their new home and take everything in, and they’ll make themselves comfortable. Be there for your cat during this time, offering encouragement and love as they need it. It’s okay if they come out and retreat back to their safe hiding space, tell yourself that they will come out again.

Phase 2: Tantrums

Cats are mostly independent animals, but they do require lots of love and attention. Expect at least one or all of these tantrums to be thrown when you move them into your new home. Your cats are in a new environment that they are not wholly comfortable with, so it’s important to be patient and help them through this difficult time.

1. Pooping. Your cat has an excellent sense of smell- they know where their litter box is. If they’re choosing to poop outside of the box, they are most likely looking for attention. Make sure that the poop has no blood in it (see Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases) and spend time making your cat feel special. This includes treats, playtime, combing, whatever they like best.

2. Peeing A. Peeing is a form of scenting, which is essentially your cat being like “this is mine”. Your cats will probably do this a lot when you first move in, so make sure you have the proper cleaners ready (see Appendix A). Clean the spot thoroughly, and spray Feliway all over it. Your cat will smell the Feliway and think “Okay, I peed there already” and walk on. I’m not kidding.

3. Peeing B. Peeing can also be an cry for attention, slightly different from scenting. Here’s how to tell the difference- does your cat only pee when you’re around? Typically this will only be done in areas that you frequent, like your bed or your couch. If so, then this is a cry for attention- see “Pooping”.

4. Peeing C. Is your cat declawed? I sure hope not, because that’s inhumane. But anyways, if it is… declawed cats require a different type of litter than the normal Tidy Cats brand. Call your local vet and consult with them about the best types of litter to use.

5. Attacking. Is your cat attacking people/places/things? Get toys and play with them. Cats are evolved from fearsome predators, they need to be stimulated or they’ll get bored and start hunting whatever they can find. Here are some great toys to buy your cats so that they can “hunt” on their own, there’s something in there for every cat type.

Phase 3: A Place For Everyone

Jackson Galaxy is the Cat Guru, and you can find episodes of his show “My Cat From Hell” on Netflix. Whenever Jackson enters a home of a troublesome cat, he always looks at the environment in terms of how “cat-proof” it is. Your cat needs to have their own stuff, and whether this is a cardboard box or a $150 piece of cat furniture, it needs to be there.

1. Bush vs. Tree dweller. I have a bush dweller and a tree dweller! Bush dwellers are the cats that like to hang out under tables and under beds, and they’re thought to be cats with less self-confidence. Tree dwellers like to climb and look down on their surroundings, reconnecting with their ancestors in the jungle. Cater your apartment based off of your cat’s needs. See Phase 6: Miscellaneous to learn more about different cat personalities.

A word on bush dwellers. I was initially very upset to learn that Gretel is considered a low self-esteem cat. I kept trying to think of ways to make her more comfortable her surroundings, in the hopes that she would one day want to climb things and perch up high. Since getting Mason, she has slowly become a bush/tree dweller. She now climbs to the top rung of her cat furniture, and asks me to help her up on the kitchen table (it’s tall so she can’t jump). What I’m trying to say is that cats will gain confidence as they get more comfortable with their surroundings, and having a second and way more confident cat has helped her come into herself, even in her old age. So proud of my baby.

2. Cat furniture. I’m not going to lie to you, cat furniture is hella expensive. But it’s life-changing. Your cats recognize that its a piece of furniture for them, and they will run right over to it and begin exploring. If your cat is wary about climbing to the higher platforms or levels of the furniture, entice them with treats or a toy. The general rule is one piece of furniture per cat, because they will fight over them. If you have a very active cat, I’d recommend getting a multi-leveled piece.

3. Cardboard boxes. The rumors are true- cats love cardboard boxes. Just open it up and leave it in the middle of the floor, and allow your cats to explore. If you’re not ready to drop $$$, place a warm blanket in the box and allow your cats to curl up.

4. Windows. If you leave for work, leave your blinds open for your cats to peer out. If you don’t, they’ll peer out anyway and wreck your blinds. In the summer time it might seem like a nice idea to leave your windows partially open, but always make sure that your window screens are secure. If they’re not, add masking tape around the sides of the window until you can press on the screen and it doesn’t collapse.

5. Food and water. I like to keep a bowl of water in each room for the cats, and I refresh this daily. I like to add ice cubes in the summer so that the water isn’t that awful room temperature. If you feed your cats dry food, make sure that they’re drinking lots of water after eating.

6. Litter box. Yeah, I know- it’s the worst part of being a cat owner. I keep mine in my hallway closet, and I leave the door partially open so that the cats can get in and out as they please. I’ve seen people with litter boxes in their bathrooms, their hallways, behind chairs in their living room, etc. The general rule is to have one more litter box than there is cat. I’m sorry, that’s crazy talk. I have a one bedroom apartment and I’m not having three litter boxes. One has worked fine for my babies, I just have to be vigilant about cleaning it.

As far as choosing a cat litter brand, most cats are not picky. Some, however, are. Tidy Cats is expensive so I use whatever is on sale at CVS. I prefer scented because I have the litter box right by my front door. Find what works for you, but listen to your cat’s needs.

Be wary of any brand of “lightweight” cat litter other than Tidy Cats. One time I bought Stop & Shop’s “Companion” lightweight litter and it hardened and stuck to the bottom of my litter box and I literally had to rehydrate it to remove it. DISGUSTING.

7. Wall furniture. If you don’t have a lot of room on the floor of your apartment, consider putting up wall furniture for your cat. This can be anything from an expensive piece like this, or a simple wooden board for your cats to walk on.

8. The floor is lava. Confident cats like to be up high on tables, window sills, cat furniture, etc. This is because back in their ancestral days, they had to peer down from the treetops to hunt their prey. Allow your cat this luxury, and try not to freak out if they walk on your kitchen counters or sit on your dining room table. Your cat is programmed to do this, the fact that your cat wants to be up high is a sign of confidence, a sign that your cat is comfortable with their surroundings.

Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases

Your cat’s health is so important! There are lots of things you can do to maintain your cat’s health on your own (see Appendix B), but know that you will need to take one or both of your cats to the vet sometime this year. Remember to consult medical professionals if your cat is visibly ill. I am not a medical professional, but here are some of the things I’ve dealt with as a cat owner.

1. Hospitals vs. Doctors. My biggest expense as a cat owner is taking my babies to the vet. I have a Veterinary Hospital literally two minutes from my home, and Gretel hates the car so much that I always just take her there to get her to calm down. In general, hospitals are WAY more expensive than regular vet’s offices. Like, I’m talking over $100 difference. The expense is worth it for me, but it might not be for you. Find your closest vet office and put their number into your phone ASAP.

2. Making an appointment. If your cat is having a crisis, you can call during normal business hours and bring your cat in right then and there, but it’s going to cost you extra money. If your cat is not in imminent danger, call and make an appointment for the next day.

Theoretically, you’re supposed to bring your cat(s) or yearly check-ups and make sure they get all their vet shots. I’m gonna level with you- I don’t do this. I wish I could afford to do it, but I live paycheck to paycheck and can’t. You need to be able to take care of yourself, so if you’re poor like me, I’d advise saving vet visits for emergencies only.

3. Vet insurance. Obviously- I do not have vet insurance. This means that I pay for all my vet visits out of pocket, and vet offices do not allow you to pay in installments, you have to pay all at once. My downstairs neighbor once had her cat held by a vet’s office because she didn’t have the money to pay for the vet bills. She had to get an emergency loan from her bank to be able to pay and get her cat released. Yikes. The one person I do know with pet insurance says that it saves her about 75% of her vet bill, but she’s a grown ass woman with a house. It’s okay if you don’t have vet insurance, there are still things you can do to improve your cat’s quality of life for reasonably cheap (See Appendix B).

3. Flea medication. Flea medication can be expensive, especially if you have two cats. Unfortunately, Advantage is the only medication that I have found effective. I’ve tried several different knock off brands, and while they worked, they didn’t last nearly as long as Advantage. I don’t worry about fleas that much in the winter, but I put it on my cats during the summer because there are lots of stray cats where I live.

4. Vomit. An occasional puke pile is nothing to be concerned about. There are lots of reasons why cats throw up, but 99% of them are digestion related. The worst part of puke is having to clean it up. As disgusting as it may be, the best way to clean up puke is to allow it to dry and to then clean it (see Appendix A). Lots of cats have food allergies (Mason, for example), so if your cat is throwing up multiple times in a week, change their diet (see Phase 5: Cat food). If your cat throws up blood, take them to the vet immediately.

5. Feline Respiratory Virus. Cats do not get colds like humans do, so be very wary if your cat has a runny nose, watery eye discharge, is sneezing or acting lethargic. These infections can kill cats if left untreated. If your cat is showing these symptoms, take them to the vet immediately. The vet will prescribe antibiotics that you will have to give your cat, and your cat should be feeling better within 24 hours. Once a cat gets an FRV, they are more susceptible to it. Cats can infect other cats, so keep your cats separated and give them separate food and water until your infected cat is visibly better.

6. Bloody poop. Bloody poop (while disgusting) does not always signify illness. Sometimes it means that your cat is having trouble digesting, but other times it means that your cat has worms. Keep an eye on your cat’s poop, and if it’s still bloody after two additional days, take them to the vet and bring a sample of the poop with you. This stool sample will be tested by your vet, and if you don’t have one they will send you home and wait for you acquire one before testing anything.

7. Lumps. My cat Gretel currently has a lump on her face. I noticed it a couple months ago and took her to the vet. If your cat gets a lump suddenly, see if you can move the lump around with your fingers. If the lump feels solid and causes your cat pain, make an appointment ASAP. Gretel’s lump moves around freely and doesn’t cause her pain at all, so my vet told me not to worry about it. Cats grow non-cancerous tumors on their faces and bodies, as well as excesses of fatty tissue that cause bumps. Feeling a bump does not guarantee that your cat’s life is in danger.

8. Bottom line. Wondering if something is wrong with your cat? Ask yourself this simple question- Is your cat eating and drinking water? If your cat is not eating or drinking water, then something is wrong. Make an appointment and take them to the vet.

Phase 5: Cat Food

Spend some time researching different brands before deciding what to feed your cat. Here are some guidelines to help you.

1. Wet food vs. Dry food. It’s a scientifically acknowledged fact that wet food is much better for your cats than dry food. Unfortunately canned food can be up to three times as expensive per pound as dry food, and I can’t afford that on my budget. If you feed dry food, make sure that your cat is properly hydrated and drinking lots of water after they eat.

2. Junk food vs. Health food. Some cats are finicky eaters, mine are not. They do not care what type of food it is, they’re just happy to eat it. Meow Mix is super inexpensive and filling for cats, but it’s not healthy. It’s essentially like eating McDonalds every day. As a young adult, you probably can’t afford to spend large quantities of money on cat food. So compromise. Buy a bag of high quality “healthy” cat food, and a bag of cheap cat food, and give your cats a mixture of this.

3. Grain intolerance. Allergies are a real thing with cats. If your cat is having a hard time keeping food down, switch them to a grain free diet. I buy Rachel Ray cat food off of Amazon because Mason has a delicate stomach.

4. Proteins. Switch up the proteins in the food you’re feeding your cats. Spend a few months with salmon, then switch to chicken, then back to salmon, etc. I don’t remember why, but studies were done and this proved to be more healthy for cats.

5. How much food? Current studies say that cats should be feed about a half a cup of cat food per day. PER DAY. Cats also should have definitive feeding times, and should not be allowed to “graze” or eat all day. I feed my cats a cup of food in the morning (2 cats, half a cup each) and that’s all they get. One of the most common problems that cat owners have is over-feeding.

6. Fast eaters. Mason has this problem where he gobbles down food super fast (he doesn’t even chew it half the time) and then throws up a few minutes later. You can buy special plates online that force cats to eat slowly like this one.

7. What not to feed them. Check out this link. Also if your cat accidentally drinks antifreeze give them alcohol.

8. Changing food. Remember that you can’t just feed your cat one food one day and a different food the next day. If you do, they’ll throw up. If you need to switch your cat’s food, do it gradually. Here’s how:

First day of switch: 95% old food, 5% new food

Second day: 75% old food, 25% new food

Third day: 75% old food, 25% new food

Fourth day: 50% of both foods

Fifth day: 50% of both foods

Sixth day: 25% old food, 75% new food

Seventh day: 25% old food, 75% new food

Eighth day: 5% old food, 95% new food

Ninth day: 5% old food, 95% new food

10th day: 100% new food!

Phase 6: Miscellaneous

1. Cat types. I’m a big believer in the ASPCA feline-alities. ASPCA employees essentially give cats a personality test to see how they perform under stress. They have something wonderful to say about even the shyest of cats, it really puts everything in perspective. Check it out here. Points if you can guess my cat’s personality types based off what I’ve written here.

2. Bathing. Generally speaking, cats and water do not mix. I don’t bathe my cats because they don’t really get gross enough to require bathing. The one time I did try to bathe Gretel was an absolute disaster, so barring her overcoming her fear of water, I’m never going to do it again. She’s old and sleeps next to my head every night, so sometimes I have to help her clean up a bit. If your cat steps in poop or dirt or whatever, use baby wipes.

3. “My Cat Doesn’t Like to Play”. Bullshit. All cats like to play, you just haven’t found the right toy. Mason responds to strings that are waved in circles above his head, squeaky toys, and things that are thrown so that he can run and “catch” his prey. Gretel likes crinkly things like candy wrappers, and will only chase a string if it’s dragged on the ground. Mess around and figure out what makes your cat tick. After playing your cat will:

Have a snack

Clean themselves

Take a nap

4. Reprimanding cats. I found a great post on Tumblr a year ago explaining this phenomenon, but I currently can’t find it, so I’m going to paraphrase. Essentially, cats don’t have great short-term memory, so you have to be careful when yelling at them. If your cat pees on your couch, and you don’t discover it until three hours later, yelling at your cat will accomplish absolutely nothing. They won’t understand why you’re upset, and they won’t understand what they did was wrong. You have to reprimand your cat’s either while they’re in the act of being naughty (i.e, peeing on the couch) or directly afterwards.

Appendices

Appendix A. Cleaners

Carpet cleaner (I recommend Resolve)

Hardwood floor cleaner (I recommend Bona)

Plastic gloves (I recommend whatever is cheapest)

Bleach (or a tile cleaner you feel more comfortable with)

Appendix B. Caring for your cat.

Feliway

Cat lax (for those with hairballs)

Flea medication (you can buy Advantage in bulk on Amazon)

Brush (brushing decreases the risk of hairballs, fleas, and your clothes looking like shit. It can also be a way to bond with your cat)

Toys (get an assortment like this one)

Supplements (if you have an old cat, check out elder cat supplements on Amazon)

Ear cleansers like Epiklean (Did you know that you’re supposed to clean your cat’s ears every month? I didn’t! Gretel had an ear infection because her ears hadn’t been cleaned in 15 years)

Baby wipes (Gretel is very old, and sometimes she has a poopy butt. I recommend baby wipes for elder cats)

Multi-purpose treats (buy treats that are beneficial for your cat’s health, like treats with calcium or treats that help with hairballs)

Appendix C. Cat behavior.

Appendix D. Mason and Gretel

#cats #cat #cat owner problems #cat owner life #cat owner things #pets #living alone #apartment living #living on your own #living on my own #cats are life

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