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fishofthewoods · 6 days

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Oh my god I woke up this morning and my Stardew Valley meta post had almost 150 notes????? Hello?????????? Anyways I started writing this last night because @moon-is-pretty-tonight left nice tags on the original so thank you so much!!

We know from the starting scenes of the game that the farmer's grandfather loved Stardew Valley. So why did he leave? Pelican Town is a good place to grow old; George and Evelyn are just fine. It's a fine place to raise a kid, but maybe he just wanted to raise his child closer to real schools and other children.

Or maybe, just maybe, he understood.

Was there a day when he was in his thirties where he looked at his friends and realized they weren't like him? That he could run faster than them, work longer, explore deeper into the hidden places of the valley?

Was there a day when he went to the wizard to ask him for help, for knowledge if nothing else? Did he learn then that his family was different? Special? Chosen? And how did he react? He couldn't possibly raise a child in the valley if they would be as strange and fey as him. He had to leave. There was no other way.

But years later, on his deathbed, did he regret that choice?

Is that why he gave the farmer the letter?

Is that why they went back home?

When the farmer steps off the bus that first day, the valley is still on the cusp of winter, just barely tipping over into spring. The flowers are starting to bloom, but a chill still hangs in the air. As soon as the farmer's boots touch the soil there's a change. The air gets warmer. The trees get greener. Not by too much, not all at once, but it changes.

The junimos watch the farmer as they do their work. They're new to farming, but take to it with frightening speed; their first batch of crops is perfect. None of the townsfolk tell them that parsnips don't normally grow in less than a week, that cauliflowers don't grow to be ten feet tall, that fairies don't visit when the sun goes down and grow potatoes and beans and tulips overnight. The junimos talk amongst themselves in their strange, wild language, and agree: this is the one. They're back. The valley recognizes its own, even when they've left for a generation. The farmers have come home.

Things change fast in the valley. The community center, empty and decrepit for so many years, is rejuvenated. (Lewis says it was abandoned only a few weeks after the farmer's grandfather left. Strange coincidence, he says, that it both came and went with the farmer's family.) The mines and the quarry, similarly abandoned, are explored for the first time in ages. The town becomes cleaner, brighter, more vibrant, happier.

And it is happier. Not just the environment, but the people. It's the talk of the town for weeks when Haley does her first closet purge. Leah's art show in the town square is a huge success. Shane's smiling for the first time since he moved to the valley. All of them, when asked, say it's all thanks to the farmer.

People love to ask why Lewis didn't fix the community center on his own. Why Willy never repaired the boat to ginger island. Why Abigail or Marlon never went down to fix the elevator in the mines, or why Clint didn't fix the minecarts.

But isn't it so much more interesting to ask how those things were there in the first place? How they got so broken down? If the stories the townspeople tell are true, the valley was once a beautiful place, flourishing and full of life; why did that change? When did it change?

Was it when the farmer's grandfather, the locus of the valley, its chosen representative, left town?

And if so, what happens when the farmer comes back?

#lich says shit #stardew valley #stardew farmer #sdv #my writing #Hope y'all enjoyed!#I'm thinking about developing this into. Like. An actual Fan Fiction. Still sort of short-form but like with more detail?#LMK if you'd be interested to see that! Also if you want to be tagged in future installations of this please just let me know :)#I'm super into this version of the farmer as like. Blessed and cryptic child of the valley with all the strange behavior that entails #If i DO write a more in-depth version of this it'll be from the perspective of someone in town #maybe Leah? She seems like she'd be the one to notice the farmer being Odd. Either that or I'll do it from the perspective of multiple--#--different people to get their unique insights and stuff #I'd also want to dig into like #The family history of the farmer. And what that's like.#Because like why did grandpa leave?#He clearly loved the valley #So why didn't he stay?#Why did he give the deed to his grandchild and not his literal child?#And is it a coincidence that everything in the valley went downhill when he left?#I don't think so.

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faithnomore · 7 months

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#the passenger 2023 #good news guys! there's faggots!#no idea what tag(s) people are using for this film. there's 4 fans and i'm 2 and a half of them.#kyle gallner #johnny berchtold #/#jonahposting #the passenger #none of you understand how badly i need to see them kiss. you think you do but yku don't #need a high quality rip of this movie i cant keep being plagued by jerkmate ads every time i want to watch it #also need to see the making of. if anybody has access to that lmk.

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aceghosts · 25 days

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Screenshots of Rooney Shepard (They/Them) in Cyberpunk 2077 (17/X)

MOD LIST

Taglist (Like this post to opt in/out for edits): @bbrocklesnar, @marivenah, @alexxmason, @sergeiravenov, @nightbloodbix, @strangefable, @captastra, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @amalkavian, @voidika, @carlosoliveiraa, @inafieldofdaisies, @clicheantagonist, @onehornedbeast, @cassietrn, @thedeadthree, @katsigian, @cloudofbutterflies92, @direwombat, @confidentandgood, @theelderhazelnut

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zaacoy · 1 year

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You draw Tang so cute and soft! It makes me wanna gently smush his face.

RAHHHH HIII!! THANK YOU!!!!! When I tell you I EXPLODED when I first saw this I mean it auugh this is such a nice little surprise message thank youuuuueuue

Here's a sketch page of Tang just for you!! :D As soft and squishable as always :3

#SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AAAAGGH!!!#When I first saw this I was super busy and wanted to give you an actual decent sketch page as a present once I got the time #But then I just kinda?? forgor????? I'm so sorry 💀#If you're still around anon know that your comment made my day thank you very very much teehee :3 #Am I allowed to add other tags here? Does that break Tumblr etiquette? I don't know uhhh #I'm throwing in a few anyway sorry if that considered rude auagh #lego monkie kid #tang lmk #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #Zaacoy art💫

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starflungwaddledee · 2 months

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ooooh aaah my first anonymous hate mail!

now i know i said i'd post this sort of stuff publicly to shame the sender, but i'm faaaaiiirly sure this is a kid. so! i'm not gonna post it, or engage, and have in fact already deleted it, because i really really suspect it's a kid.

i'll address one part: about me not tagging my work.

like many other things in the ask, that's an outright lie. i actually do my best to tag comprehensively and liberally, and if you're hatescrolling my blog you already know my tag for the shipaganza in particular is this: 🎀💖

i have put this tag (again, it's 🎀💖) on every post related to the shipaganza. even the explicitly non-romantic, platonic ones (like bandee's and kirby's) and the what the heck is that? ones (like marx's) so that people can liberally avoid it for any number of reasons. i'm just doing this event for fun, and want it to be fun for people viewing the work as well!

i also make it clear regularly that earnest folks can ask me to tag anything in particular and i will do so. however, i cannot control what tags are used on a post once it leaves my blog, so i recommend that you use this handy feature

to make sure you never have to see any of my content ever again, no matter who else might reblog it onto your feed!

if that's not enough and you're still finding mentions of me on your timeline (such as when other people @ me), you can also apparently use "filtered post content" and just put my username in there. now i haven't tried that in particular, but it seems comprehensive as it searches the entire post for instances of a phrase. here are the instructions on how to do that.

anyway! i hope these steps successfully help you to never see my content or mentions of me ever again!

#the other very important aspect of blocking me if you don't like me is that i won't accidentally interact with one of YOUR pieces.#that would be uncomfortable and embarrassing for everybody! 👍#i will also say that i have turned off anonymous asks for a while to let this person chill out a bit as i'm not interested in engaging.#normal asks are still open and i'm sure i'll reopen anons eventually #i'm sorry to have to turn them off during the shipaganza in particular! i really love receiving your prompts!#(edit: apparently i can just turn reblogs off! so i did that! no worries.)#i don't want to risk drawing any further attention to the kid and it really only applies to my blog anyway!#should i tag this one anything? negativity? i didn't post the ask itself so it's probably okay but lmk!

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imminent-danger-came · 7 months

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If the "to pain" scene has a million fans, I am one of them. If the "to pain" scene has 5 fans, I am one of them. If the "to pain" scene has only one fan then I am that fan. If the "to pain" scene has no fans then I am no longer alive. If the world is against the "to pain" scene then I am against the world

#I will never shut up about it I'm sorry #It's been 9 slutty slutty months of brain rot #Like come on how are you supposed to be normal about it #''Do you still think that the universe really wants anything from any of us?'' ''Don't you?'' ''I try not to think too hard.''#''So it would seem. Know this monkey—you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is right.#That pursuit only leads to one thing.'' ''Hmhm. To destiny right?'' ''No. To pain.''#LIKE HELLO #H E L L O #lmk theme: hurt #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk meme #lmk rant #imp tag #to pain

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yeonban · 9 months

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*Permanent interactions call.

I've been thinking about it for a while now, but like or comment on this post if you're alright with me sending you asks either unprompted or from prompts you've reblogged ages ago whenever I feel like it & if you're alright with receiving random starters if I ever have the ideas for them! You're never going to be obligated to reply to them though, so they'll just be possibilities for interactions in case you ever have the inspo for them!

#* ooc. / psa.#I'm still going to send the things from my current sc & inbox calls but I might not do inbox calls anymore after this interactions call!#And scs will probs only be once every 10 full moons if I happen to have the muse for a certain chara & in that way it'd be chara specific #I know some of you guys' preferences bc I've bombarded you with asks from a million years ago before <3 but I don't know Everyone's #so if you're alright w me sending u asks & possibly starters out of nowhere lmk through this post!#No need to specify muses for this post but if you want to/have a preference for certain muses then feel free to tell me!#I'll rb this through the week... and continue working on new tags... and on the 10 drafts I've started replying to...#ALSO if you'd rather only get asks but not starters (or vice versa) you can comment that!

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magentagalaxies · 6 months

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Kids in the Archive: Episode 3

hi everyone you know the deal - i uncovered a bunch of original scripts for kith sketches with the help of the wonderful bruce mcculloch and now i'm here to bring you all a behind-the-scenes comparison of script and screen!

Previous Episodes: Episode 1 - armada finale ("do we make it?") Episode 2 - fran & gordon: the vacation

today's episode is dedicated to @ofkithandmckinney as we cover the script of their favorite sketch, s2e1's "comfortable"

the thing that immediately sets "comfortable" apart from all the other scripts i own is the multicolored paper is it printed on, with some parts being on pink and others on blue. this is not accidental - each color denotes a specific revision date which is standard practice for tv production, though comfortable is the only script in my collection in this style. the date for pink revisions is may 22nd 1990, while blue revisions were june third of the same year. while taking photos of the scripts, my phone tries to color-balance the images automatically to make it look like black text on a white background, so i had to trick my phone into letting me show off the pink pages here today

The Casting

since the opening of this script is near-identical to what we seen onscreen, I decided to use this section to highlight an interesting (and at times confusing) element of this script, which is that dave and mark's roles are occasionally switched. at times dave is designated as scott's character's wife and mark as the other husband. on a related note, this also wasn't initially written as a nina sketch, with the character being referred to as "marion" in this draft. all in all, while thinking about this alternate version of "comfortable" is fun, i frankly cannot imagine anyone else playing these roles, as all of them bring the perfect type of energy. plus, this nina appearance relates it to my web of kith sketches that exist in the same universe

The "Improv"

this script also allows us to clear up a misconception i've seen in the youtube comments of various uploads of this sketch: people claiming "i want you in me" was improvised

i can see where this misconception came from - while adhering to the script very faithfully, at this point in the sketch things feel like they're starting to fly off the rails, and each of the actors are struggling not to break. plus, this is totally something scott would do. there's a chance this could have been improvised during a rehearsal or table read (it is on the blue pages after all) but in the version that was broadcast this line was expected. however, there is a possibly-improvised moment in the recording which wasn't in the script. after scott's character takes his pants off there's a moment where he starts singing hava nagila - in the script it just says "da da da da". why scott chose to commemorate this moment with hava nagila we may never know

The Ending

unlike our past few sketches, there's no big difference between the script's ending and the final moments of the sketch on tv. all the beats are accounted for, with most variations stemming from the goldmine that is getting nina in this situation

as soon as i saw this script in storage i knew i needed it in my collection (with bruce's permission of course), and with all these fascinating production elements it certainly delivered. beyond that, comfortable is one of my favorite sketches as well, because i vividly remember the first time i watched it in the summer of 2022

pre-2022 i'd seen some kids in the hall before, but they'd always been scattered sketches and individual episodes all from season one. when i got into season 2 i didn't know what to expect. would this increased attention and production value make the kids less willing to push the boundaries? would they end up like snl? looking back it's hilarious i could ever think that about this troupe, but i identify "comfortable" as the sketch that really set the tone for what i was in for with season 2. the living room setup and premise of an awkward gathering feel similar to any number of middle-of-the-road snl sketches, which lulled me into a false sense of mundanity, until scott keeps pushing the limits and eventually starts straight-up fucking kevin mcdonald on the table. of course this season wasn't going to be your standard fare sketch show, as pretty soon after followed sizzler and sizzler and the iconic "touch bellini" contest, but as i saw the world of these suburban couples' descend into chaos it was comforting that this punk rock sensibility wasn't over yet.

#kids in the archive #time for a jessay #kids in the hall #scott thompson #kevin mcdonald #dave foley #mark mckinney #sketch comedy #comedy analysis #script to screen #90s vintage #i didn't expect to do another one of these so soon but i'm bored and i wanted to highlight this script for ofkithandmckinney #if you have any suggestions for sketches you'd like me to cover lmk! i don't have all of them in my collection of course #but my kids in the archive tag has the full list of what i have so far #i'm not sure exactly how i'll switch up the formatting for unaired sketches but i'm excited to find out

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booskwan · 10 days

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i'm not an aroha i never really have been but i heard about fly and now i am crying

#it feels weird to say because i feel like people will judge me for it #but to be vulnerable for a minute moonbin's passing really hit me hard #i really don't know why but it did #and i was just crying every day for a week or two straight #i didn't gif or really come out of my room or anything i just sat around and was sad a lot of the time #and i still get emotional about it all the time #whether listening to yawn or any of seungkwan's recent covers/songs or just out of the blue #idk why i'm saying all this lol but there's probably others who have felt like this and i guess i just want to say you're not alone #and it's not weird to cry for someone you don't really know anything about or who you've never had any kind of connection with #idk i'm rambling idk what i'm saying i love u all #theo.txt #death tw #< lmk if i need to tag differently

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sandu-zidian · 8 months

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I love looking at all the stuff and hearing about the Ahsoka show (bc I'm not gonna actually watch the show that I know I'm not gonna like). It reminds me why I fucking hate new star wars media recently LMAO. Like everyone has their own opinions but uh. If Sabine was gonna do anything in her grief it was to buzz all her hair, get herself a dingy ass studio apartment that is covered in spray paint, pay her bills with bounty hunting and selling art on the side, and coping with everything by latching onto her mandalorian heritage rather than like, burying her armor or whatever the hell she did. She's got a new armor paint job every other day because she's repainting it in grief and in remembrance of family and friends who aren't around anymore but there's too many people to honor so new paint jobs it is.

Also, I don't really think Sabine would've suddenly decided to become a Jedi. Not everyone has to be a Jedi Disney!!! Are we just going to forget the tension between her and Kanan throughout Rebels? Are we going to forget how the reason why she learned to wield a lightsaber was all in service of her people, the Mandalorians? Sabine has never been, and never will be, interested in being a Jedi because it's not a lifestyle she finds appealing.

(Pretending to not care about Star Wars anymore while still very much caring about Star Wars because fuck those are my first blorbos!!)

#katantalks #i'm not gonna tag this with the show rn bc like i'm not interested in others finding this post but lmk if you want me to tag this for spoil #spoilers or something #been trying to be generally more chill and letting go of shit when i don't like it #but star wars always reverts me back to what i am at the core: a hater HALSDFKJASDLKFJ

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parkitaco · 3 months

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i had to go look up what you're talking about lmao but like the anon was obviously a mean spirited asshole but you straight up asked people to tell you their opinion on your steve voice....

yk what anon i see where ur coming from but i also said be nice. and that's a real fucking easy thing to do. so you can fuck off too <3

#i would have accepted constructive criticism if it had been said in a nice way i rly would have #bc as you said i did say lmk how i did #However.#the tone and content of the comment were unnecessary and rude and them keeping their identity anonymous tells me they probs knew that #and i bet you do too!#and i'm just going to say this once in the tags For the Record:#i'm in general a pretty thick skinned person and the comment didn't shatter my self esteem or anything like that. i Like my steve pov thx #i'm just pissed off!#but if i was a new writer or even just someone who took things like that to heart a little more #this could have absolutely killed any writing motivation i had and made me want to quit.#and That is not constructive criticism. it's just straight up mean #so yeah i did allow room for opinions. but i don't think i invited abuse #and i'm not going to sit here and act like i did something wrong #peace and love on planet earth <3

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izzyspussy · 2 months

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tfw u kinda wanna make a post about how frustrating it is to try to find racial identity and the pressure of not really having a good answer to "what are you?" because 75% of your ethnicity is stuff that is sometimes considered white or sometimes considered something else or sometimes considered its own race and you've got pale skin and only speak english but you've been discriminated against for your cultural values and facial features but only some of the time in some places and you demonstrably have white privilege in most contexts but not all the time and how much white privilege equals whiteness and on the other hand isn't that awfully similar the concept of racial dilution which is just pc genocide anyway and if you self determine as white is that the right thing to do or is it just assimilation but if you self determine as not white is that respecting and claiming your heritage or is it appropriation/brownface and also what do you do if you self determine one way and then get treated the other way and you know based on the reality that race is socially constructed it can be true that the same person can sometimes be white and sometimes be not white but if you actually say that out loud to people they think you're trying to be a snowflake for woke points based on a technicality-

but also u don't wanna post about that because. if you actually say that out loud to people,

#jack facts #today's version of this crisis brought to you by the guy i'm sleeping w trying to compliment me #by saying he ''don't normally fuck with white people''#like. is it racially insensitive to say that about me. is it racist for me to feel like it is. is it just run of the mill negging.#is it none of the above and simply fair to say. ugh.#like i normally just think of myself as white passing because that feels truest and the most concise way to describe my experiences #but like. there's. no right answer. i hate that i have to struggle w this and feel like i'm being dishonest no matter what i say #because i don't fucking make the rules and it all depends on what whoever's asking wants to hear what the answer is like #''what are you?'' girl if you figure it out lmk #anyway #how the fuck do i tag this lol

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sleepanonymous · 9 months

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Oh, the blossom mirrors on the side of the road The form becomes fixed in your eyes, cold This hollow delight is a sight to behold I know, I know…

Oh, the hidden designs are lost on us The highest desire and lowest lust Just contours and folds in an endless curse It’s worse, it’s worse…

You are the head the halo orbits You are the feet that pastures grow I am the novelty wearing off Wearing off…

#lost media #circa 2014 #song delight #i'm not 100% on the lyrics #if you hear something different lmk #i still don't know how i want to tag these?#kinda don't want them in the ves or st tags tbh #so... here you go my 8 followers #you get vip access #also i'm so excited because #the og youtube description confirms he's a coffee drinker #Signature LARGE MUG MORNING ESPRESSO™️#sometimes we do just want to sit at our computers and sob #but that doesn't mean i forgive him (/j)#fuck that one thumbs down btw

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

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but, dear, cling close to me

2k, Gen, Fluff

The first time they have a fight, it is over something silly. Dean storms out on him, his heavy footsteps echoing in the empty house. Castiel stares after him, his heart in his throat, and doesn't ask him to stop. To stay. He doesn't think Dean will come back, either.

It startles him, then, when he hears the roar of the Impala just as the sun sets the horizon on fire. The creak of the driver's door opening, the slam of it falling shut. Footsteps coming up the porch stairs. He hastens into the living room just in time to see Dean lock the door behind him. Castiel watches him, panting, as he toes his boots off, drops his keys in the yellow bowl with the crooked rim that Cas made them.

His face is hard, still. Jaw set, eyes flinty. He doesn't meet Castiel's gaze, makes for the kitchen on steady feet, shoulders curving away as he passes him.

But he's here. He's here.

"You came back," Cas says. His voice is filled with surprise.

Dean turns to him, then. Almost rears back. His eyes dim and his jaw slackens. He looks — hurt.

"And where else would I go, huh?"

Dean's arms lift in a mockery of a shrug. He would sound caustic, if not for the faint tremble in his voice that Castiel notes. He doesn't know what to do with it.

The Bunker, he wants to reply. Home. But that wouldn't be true. The Bunker isn't home for either of them. Hasn't been for a while, now. It is just windowless walls of metal and concrete, underground. It is what it was once meant to be and nothing more.

Shelter, not home.

No, for better or for worse, this is home now. This kitchen with the cracked windowpane that needs fixing, still. The living room, cluttered, with its faded couch and thrifted pillows, Cas' pottery and Dean's books. The garden out back, whose soil is staining Cas' fingertips.

"I don't know," Cas says, and he knows it's the wrong thing to say just as he does. He wants to take it back, but he can't.

He doesn't know how to talk to Dean. Not anymore.

Maybe he never did.

Dean heaves a breath, eyes trained on Castiel, and Cas thinks he feels so impossibly far away.

There is too much crowding the air between them. Too many things unsaid, too many wants unsatisfied. Too many prayers unanswered. Castiel wants to reach Dean through all this, split the fog with his hands. But he doesn't know how.

There is something unnamed brightening Dean's eyes as they flit over Cas' face, the breadth of his chest. His damp, bare feet.

Then, he huffs. Turns away. Says nothing.

The silence echoes. The world darkens. The sky turns the shade of a bruise.

Castiel heads upstairs to wash the scent of the earth off his fingertips.

That night, Cas lies in bed on his side, back to the door. He listens for a croak. A chirp. A buzz. Something.

But the night is too cold. Too quiet.

He counts his breaths as they pass his lips, watches the seconds hand of the old-fashioned clock on his bedside table as it moves.

He isn't as startled as he thought he would be when the door to his room opens. When Dean pads in, and the mattress dips as he settles at the foot of the bed. He can almost feel the scratch of Dean's fingernails on the sheets.

Dean says nothing, just sits there. Watches him sleep. Breathes in this space that he doesn't often breach. Castiel keeps his eyes closed and breathes with him.

It is easier, with Dean here.

His thoughts are syrupy with sleep, and not for the first time, he wonders if he should leave. Go back to the bunker until he finds a place he can carve for himself in this world. (It would be easier, this time, in some ways. Harder in others.) He wonders if Dean keeps him here, chains himself to Castiel, out of a misplaced sense of obligation. Of pity.

Castiel doesn't want Dean's pity.

He just wants Dean.

Even if it is as he is now — angry and cold and quiet.

But he doesn't know what Dean wants. Dean doesn't tell him. And selfishly, Castiel waits, not willing to push him farther away.

Castiel waits, the weight of hope heavy in his chest.

He wakes to the soft caress of sunlight.

He blinks his eyes open. The sky in his window is lightening, the purples and pinks dissolving into nothing.

It is early — for him, at any rate — but there is a smile fighting his yawn, curving his lips upwards. He pushes himself up on an elbow, rolls his neck.

Finds that he is surprisingly well-rested.

He turns over and sees the top of Dean's head peaking over his mattress, the tips of his hair turning rose-gold in the sunlight.

Cas leans towards him and sees that he's slumped on the floor, leaning against the bed. The morning light falls over his face in strips, paints half of it golden. His freckles stand out in the light, a galaxy of them scattered across his skin. His eyelashes feather over the curve of his cheek.

He is beautiful here, asleep and uncaring. So very beautiful.

And Castiel loves him. He loves him so much that he aches with it.

He swallows, throat dry. Ignores the rapid thudding of his heart. Stretches his fingers towards Dean, watching as they hover over the lines carved into his temples, the corners of his eyes.

He is so tempted to touch them, to learn their shape.

Instead, he sets his palm on the ball on Dean's shoulder. His curled pinkie sits under the edge of the collar of his t-shirt.

"Dean?" he says, softening his sandpaper voice. Shakes him a little.

Dean flinches, then groans at the twinge in his back, and Castiel winces in sympathy.

The bones in their bodies are tired. Cas has learned that much, if nothing else.

Dean blinks himself awake, rubs the grit out of his eyes with his fingers. Smacks his lips together. And all the while, Castiel leaves his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Morning, sunshine," Dean says, even now. Even when he's angry, and there are bags under his eyes, and tension in the skin of his temples. Even when he fidgets where he sits on the floor, not looking at Cas.

"Good morning, Dean," is his reply, like always. He squeezes Dean's shoulder before letting go. Sits up. Curls his fists in his lap. He feels soft, in the morning, like this. Soft, and small, and so very sad.

What are you doing here? he wants to ask. Why did you sleep on my floor?

Instead, he watches, quiet, as Dean stretches and groans. Then lifts himself onto the bed. Settles into the same dip in the mattress as the night before.

They sit across from each other, not quite looking at each other, and Cas feels his skin crawl. His eyes are starting to sting. He tilts his face up to the ceiling and blinks to keep them dry.

"Fuck," Dean swears, and Cas closes his eyes. "Fuck, this is stupid. I'm so fucking stupid."

Castiel's only warning is the rustle of the sheets before Dean's body slams into his, arms wrapping around his shoulders in a vice like grip. It is only instinct that keeps them upright, Cas' broad frame managing to brace them somehow. His arms wind themselves around Dean's waist.

"I'm sorry," Dean says into his shoulder, tightening his grip. Their hearts race against one another under their thin, cotton shirts. "I'm sorry I was being an ass. I'm sorry I left. And—"

Here, he gulps, and the air around them tenses like it's waiting for more. But then, Dean just sighs. Buries his face in Castiel's shoulder.

"Just — Okay. Yeah. I— Yeah."

He's nodding against Cas' shoulder. And somehow, that — that's enough. That Dean is holding him. That he says Okay like he's bracing himself and like he's said what he wants to, all at once.

Cas holds him back. Thinks he's starting to see past the fog, in the clear light of this morning. Thinks he's beginning to understand.

It settles something in his chest, this revelation. Loosens the pressure around it.

"I hate fighting with you," he mumbles as he closes his eyes and presses his face into the crook of Dean's neck. Breathes.

He is allowed this, for now.

"Me, too, Cas," Dean says, a palm coming up to cradle the back of Cas' head. "Me, too."

They eat their breakfast on the deck out back, sitting on the stairs next to each other, their knees knocking together, plates in their laps — French toast and scrambled eggs, Cas' share of it drenched in honey.

The morning feels quieter. Calmer. Nicer.

Or, maybe, it's just Castiel. He doesn't know. Doesn't think he particularly cares, either.

He is beginning to learn their language, his and Dean's, dissonances and all. And it's setting the hope in his chest alight. He is almost buoyant with it.

Then, Dean sets his half-finished breakfast aside. Dangles his elbows from his knees, presses the palms of his hands together, bows his head. Supplicant, almost. Like he's praying.

Cas watches him, his pulse jack-rabbitting. Sets his own plate aside and turns, when he notes the slight tension in Dean's shoulders. He wants to quell the rising tide in his chest but he can't. He can't.

"What is it?" he makes himself ask when Dean is silent for too long. He's surprised his voice is as steady as it is.

"I...," Dean swallows. He tilts his gaze up to Cas'. His eyes are summer-green and gold and Castiel can't look away.

"I won't leave you. Ever. I'm always going to come back, Cas," he says, and it is a promise. It is a promise and it sets the fire in Cas' chest roaring. "Even if I'm pissed off as hell, even if I say stupid shit that pisses you off enough to kick me out....I—I'll still come back here. As long as you'll let me, I'll stay. I'm not going anywhere."

Castiel swallows. Searches Dean's face for something. Something, something.

Something.

When he asks, "Why?" his voice buzzes, thick and sweet.

Dean looks at him with an exasperated fondness that is familiar. He shakes his head, gaze lifting to the sky a moment before it lands back on Cas. Almost as if to say, Why do you think?

But, Castiel waits him out. He wants Dean to tell him. He wants to know, wants to be sure.

The smile slips off Dean's face, but it is replaced by an expression that is softer. More tentative. Almost shy.

Castiel feels a little like he's flying, a little like he's falling.

"Because," Dean gulps, licks his lips. "Because this? Us," — a palm moving in between their bodies, folding the whole world into the space there—, "This is it. This is home."

Oh, Cas thinks. Oh, Oh, Oh.

Then — "Alright," a gasp, a blink. Fireworks in his chest, his throat. "You can stay."

"Yeah?" Dean says, and he's grinning, eyes bright and joyful, and Castiel wants to say, Idiot. Goddamn Idiot! "Good."

Emboldened, Castiel leans forward. Rests his forehead against Dean's collarbone. Dean stills, for a moment, but then he lets him. He lets him.

When Cas slides his palm into Dean's and slots their fingers together, Dean holds fast, curling his hand into Cas' touch.

Castiel brings his free hand up to Dean's neck, holds him close. Breathes him in.

"I love you," he says, because he can't hold it in. Because his chest feels so full. Because he wants to say it again. To let Dean know. "I always will."

Dean sighs, then. Shifts so he can hold Cas better. Closer.

There's a dry press of lips to the warm skin of Castiel's temple.

"I know, sweetheart," Dean says, and there, in those words, in the softness of them where they touch Cas' skin, is everything. "I know."

#destiel fic #fanfic #deancas ficlet #doe's writing #spn fic #okay see if this is stupid don't at me #i spent like too much time on this but atleast it was fun?#i'm sorry i write the same thing in fifty different ways i just think it's neat when they do love confessions for the first time #uhhhh oh yeah lmk if you want me to add you to the tag list. like in the rb/notes #OKAY BYE

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