#I'm still feeling a bit on the edge and in defense mode and kind of tired of being the ONLY ONE who sees so much potential-- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

m2ok · 1 year

Note

Hello! Hope I'm not bothering you, can I make a request?

Could you please write Price comforting a m!reader after he has a bad encounter with his abusive parents?

Mine are back in my life causing chaos again and I want Price to hug me so bad (╥﹏╥)

(Also you write really good fics! Keep up the amazing work)

-🇷🇺

Of course I can!! I’m very sorry to hear about your parents, but I hope this helps a bit :) thank you for your request, and I hope things can better for you soon, love 🫶🫶

A Hug That Feels Like a Safe Haven

John Price X M!Reader

TW: mentions of parental abuse.

A/n: I didn’t get too into what the parents did exactly because I didn’t want it to be too triggering, but I hope you enjoy <3

Going home after a mission was never easy, it honestly was worse than the actual mission sometimes. It didn’t even feel like home, not when you weren’t welcomed, when your mere existence seemed to upset those around you.

This time hit especially hard, you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was because the mission beforehand was emotionally taxing and you were already overloaded, maybe because you had gotten so used to being away from them that the thought of going back to that hell hole broke you down.

Either way, you had gotten out of there as soon as you could. You went back to base a week early, you couldn’t stand being around them any longer and you just had to get back to your real home, with your real family.

You were in survival mode since you left your ‘home’ and it seemed your body hadn’t realized it was safe yet, because even as you stepped back into the building you were still on edge. Your eyes were glancing everywhere for any threat of danger and you were aware of any little door closing like it could somehow be the people who hurt you coming back to continue.

You jumped when a sudden hand was placed on your shoulder, dropping your bag as you spun around and shoved the hand off.

You were met with the concerned face of your Captain, his hand still lingering in the air before he let it rest at his side. You immediately went wide eyes, hands coming up in defense as you apologized profusely.

“I’m sorry-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean-“ you were shaking where you stood, and it shocked him to the core. He’d never seen you this…out of it, scared. Even on the battlefield you were calm and kept a level head, so what had shaken you this hard?

“Hey…hey it’s alright” he said as he gently took your hands in his own, the firm yet gentle grasp slowly easing you down from flight or fight mode.

He rubbed gentle circles to the tops of your hands “what happened?” He asked softly, and just like his hold on your hand his voice was soft, it was warm. He genuinely cared about what had scared you, and the thought alone had you breaking down. You weren’t used to this kind of gentleness, it was something your parents never gave you. John cared about you.

With a choked sob you fell into his arms, and he immediately wrapped his own around you. He didn’t question it as he held you tight against his body. You held onto the man like your life depended on it, your fingers gripping his shirt as you buried your head in his neck.

His arms tightened around you, one hand on your shoulder with the other held you tight against your back. It was just the right amount of pressure, it made you feel warm, it made you feel safe. You knew nothing, nobody, could hurt you while you were with him.

“My-my parents” was all you could manage to get out, and though it wasn’t much it was like he understood. For a second his grip tightened, and he pulled you closer.

He was seething with rage, though he kept it contained for your sake, but there was nothing he wanted more than to find out where your parents lived and show them why he was a Captain. He restrained himself, for now anyways. You needed him, not his anger.

“You’re safe now, I’ve got you” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“Nobody’s gonna hurt you again, love. Not while I’m here” the words were gentle, but you knew they were true. He meant it, he wouldn’t let you get hurt again. Not if he could help it, and by god he was going to do everything in his power to keep you safe from now on.

“Come on” he coaxed as he pulled away from you, he could see the bags under your eyes. It was like you hadn’t slept since you left, and you probably hadn’t, but he was here to remedy that.

You grabbed your bag from the floor before you reached for his hand, his own immediately finding yours. You squeezed, and he squeezed back, before leading you down the hall. He passed your room and for a second you were confused, until you got to the common room.

The rest of the team was there, as you figured, they didn’t seem like they had any better a home life then you did, no reason for them to go back. John quietly led you over to a couch in the back, ushering you to sit down as he set the bag down next to it.

You did as you were told to, watching as John promptly sat next to you. You made quick work of leaning into his side, curling yourself into his body as he held you close. It wasn’t the easiest task, you were a military man after all so you weren’t exactly small, but that didn’t seem to matter at all.

He wrapped himself around you like it was nothing, like it was the easiest thing he had done. He rested his head on top of yours as the rest of the boys quietly resumed whatever they were doing in silent understanding. They’d all been in your position before someway or another, they knew what you were going through.

Ghost continued quietly sharpening his knives, while Soap and Gaz played a game of pool off in the corner. This was home, this was family, this was safety. With a deep, content sigh, you allowed yourself to close your eyes and let your guard down. The exhaustion hit you like a brick and within seconds you were asleep, the quiet chattering of the team behind you whole Price gently ran his fingers through your hair, pressing occasional kisses to your forehead.

You were happy to be home with your family, finally.

As always, requests are open

#cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #cod x reader #cod imagine #cod x male reader #male reader #captain price #captain price x reader #captain price x you #john price #john price x male reader #john price imagine #john price x you #fanfic #captain price x male reader

732 notes · View notes

physicsfox7 · 1 month

Text

So, I have to brag just a bit. As previously mentioned, I haven't ever been great at fighting games. Moreover, I was a notorious button masher.

But with the release of my beloved Elphelt on Strive, I am here to stay. I've been playing since about mid-December, and I am a slow learner as it is.

In the beginning, with my friends patented school, I learned a lot in a short amount of time. Then I practiced on my own, ran the arcade mode, and worked on tower. I of course grabbed fights with friends when I could. But about 5 weeks ago, I hit what felt like a plateau. Admittedly, getting my ass handed to me constantly was very disheartening as well. And I still wasn't very good.

I stepped away from it for a couple of weeks, proceeded to lose whatever edge I had developed, and lost interest. I bought Bridget in an attempt to reawaken the fighting spirit, and spent a very lovely afternoon fighting her computer on very hard. Then I stopped and didn't pick it up.

When they dropped A.B.A on Tuesday, I was very excited. I thought a new character to try out would help, and everyone else would be trying her as well, so I might have a chance to win a little bit while they learn the new controls.

With the new patch, suddenly I couldn't boot the game. I spent over a day trying to figure it out. I tried everything from verifying files to reinstalling to getting third party software. Nothing worked, I just couldn't get on the network. I missed out on pre practice, I missed out on hours of playing with friends. Finally, working with everyone, we figured out the problem. One stupid, simple fix (disabling my antivirus software, yes I know I'm an idiot) and it booted first try.

By the time I joined the lobby, I was shaking from being hungry and angry and frustrated. Everyone else was warmed up, and I was cold for three weeks. I sorta kinda held my own, got my ass kicked again and again, but it didnt feel oppressive. Instead, it was invigorating. Some of the techniques and combos I had practiced worked, and I even got complimented.

Then tonight, we had another Strive lobby night. And something clicked. I was playing. I didn't win every match, but I didn't lose every match either. I stood my ground against players far better than me. I won multiple rounds in a row, and most importantly learned a few new techniques and ideas. I implemented on the fly. Tonight felt good.

We had a random come into the lobby, who is high level with all characters, and coaches. They run tourneys, and was top 100 with a couple of their mains. I warned them before our match that I wouldn't stand a chance, but like everyone in this community, they were more interested in playing and helping than beating me down. I managed to take them down below half health in a couple matches.

After stream, I went back and watched some older videos of my gameplay, then some from last night and tonight and the level of improvement I've made is astounding.

I react faster, my combos are cleaner, there's less wasted space/time/movement, and I'm starting to feel which move is the right defense, allowing me to be proactive in defense and getting out of neutral. And I can see when to be aggreasive and when to wait more easily.

I was at a precipice, and I honestly felt stuck. The combination of time away, solo practice, and a more relaxed and patient attitude the last couple of nights has broken through. I feel positive about future sessions, and I'm looking forward to playing rather than dreading it.

I'm very pleased with myself, and I feel positive. Playing games with such skilled people is kind of dampening for both my confidence and my pride, so this was pretty great. Okay, no more bragging. K thx byeeeeeeee

#ggst #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #elphelt my beloved #elphelt my love #elphelt #elphelt guilty gear #bridget guilty gear #mental health #wholesome #friends #hugs and kisses #tell your friends you love them

15 notes · View notes

jestersmonsters · 30 days

Text

Jester's Monster AU

Part 10 (End Of Chapter 1)

Warnings(for all parts, not just this one): Blood, gore, general angst, panic attacks, violence, death, dismemberment, attempted cannibalism (from vampires & werewolves), trauma, possible bad writing (I try), and the closest thing to realistic trauma responses I can get in a tmnt monster au.

💜First - 👈Prev - C1 Art Dump👉

Donnie was on his phone in bed, looking for more info on vampires. It was hard to know what was real and what was just fiction. He was getting increasingly frustrated.... but with what Mikey had told him, he was able to kind of guess. He preferred to write it down on a notebook or something, but since he was trying to rest, he just wrote what he knew in his notes app. He'd have to make a physical copy later. He was most worried about that "withered stomach" thing Mikey had mentioned, so he was looking for more details on that. It took some digging, but this is what he found:

Vampires can eat and drink any food or drink regularly so long as they feed on blood once a week. A week without blood will cause one to be unable to stomach human food from then on this is what they call the withered stomach. If another week passes without this being resolved, then the affected vampire will go into a defensive mode, losing control of their body and attacking any blood they can smell to drink it. If they are fed in that time, then they will return to normal, but if they remain hungry for approximately four hours longer, then the withered stomach will then become permanent if the vampire does not starve to death first.

This information cleared things up for him. No more starving himself from now on, got it. Sure didn't make him feel much better, though.... He already felt sick at the thought that this had happened to him. He assumed his little outburst had come just from that he was new to all this, and his body was still weak. Maybe he'd been trying to replenish energy lost from..... dying. It scared him, though. He'd bitten Casey of all people. That guy was supposed to be tough, and yet he wasn't able to defend himself... just how strong had the vampirism made him? Normally, the idea of being so strong wouldn't scare him, but it did. Because it came with the idea of hurting his family.

As if sensing his stress, there was a knock on the door, and Leo's voice came through. "Hey Dee, can I come in?" he asked. Without answering, Donnie just clicked a remote to open the door and let him in. Then Leo just sat on the edge of his bed, hands clasped quietly. "We didn't really get a chance to talk earlier, so I thought I'd start. And you know I don't apologize often, so you can't fight me on this, but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not talking to you for so long. I wouldn't have minded you bringing me back to life, honestly. But the way you did it really scared me. All of it scared me. The way you looked at me with that creepy smile, all the blood, the way my body looked, all of it." he paused a moment to look at Donnie, who wasn't looking back, just staring at his phone with brows furrowed. He just sighed and kept talking. "But when you died, I think.... I understood why you looked at me that way. Because I would have done the same thing in that moment to get you back. It's still... scary.... but it felt like the only thing I could do so.... I get it." he finished. Donnie was looking at him now. He'd put his phone down, and he was just staring. His expression almost looked blank except for the slightest bit of tears brimming his eyes. Cautiously, he placed his hand on the other's.

Leon just smiled at that, understanding that it was Don's own version of an apology. "S'okay bud. I'm alright. You patched me up real good." he assured, leaning over to see what Donnie was doing. "You find anything out?" he asked. "Yeah. Just more about what my diet's gonna be like from now on." Donnie answered. "It's..... a little scary, though. I don't... I don't want to hurt anyone else." he said. To which, Leo just squeezed his hand. "Hey. I didn't get those blood bags for nothing. We're stocked up plenty! And with Raph and I around, even if you do get a little hungry, you won't get your teeth anywhere near anyone else, alright?" he assured, wearing a confident smile. But seeing Donnie was still worried, he just placed his free hand on his shell and rubbed gently. "We'll figure it out, mkay? Just get some rest. You'll be okay." he said in a quiet voice. With that, Donnie tried his best to quiet his troubled mind as he shut his eyes and drifted off to a deep sleep.

[End Of Chapter 1]

#rottmnt #my au #rottmnt au #jester's monsters #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt monster au #rise donatello #rise donnie #rottmnt donnie #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo

11 notes · View notes

incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

Note

I'm curious about your last ask. How is the game dissapointing? I was just curious because I always want to know all sides of people's opinions about this kind of things.

Also, I freaking love your work!

Oh, sure! Honestly I wasn't expecting people to care all that much, so I'm honored you'd also like to hear my thoughts on the matter 💛💛💛 Since the last ask I answered was about my concerns regarding the jpn server, I can elaborate on why I was upsetti spaghetti abt the eng server's last event if that's okay c:

And tysm both of you!!! I really appreciate it 💞💞💞💞

I’m just gonna tag the second requester since it’s about the same thing essentially @burntamore0906

So like this is going to be a very specific grievance, so forgive me if it’s a little niche or high maintenance. But I guess what bothered me so much about the Comte event story (On the Hunt for My Maker) is that the tone felt very very...off? As compared to the JPN ver?

How to explain...basically, in the JPN ver you just get this intensely serious vibe? MC’s been through a l o t in this one, and she’s in absolutely no nonsense mode. She takes mercy on Comte because she senses something is very off about his behavior; he’s not quite as sinister or impulsive or unhinged as one might expect of a murderer.

Even then, she’s wary and defensive; terse, to the point. I guess what I disliked about the ENG ver is that all of this gravity and solemnity just...felt kind of lost? Like the heavy tone falls flat. I know it’s not a very tangible description of what’s troubling me, but the way she talks about wanting to reap justice and find closure just seems so overwritten by forcible romance by comparison.

There’s a sense of a slow burn that was lost here. The whole point is that, over time, it becomes obvious what Comte’s intentions were? And that no matter how angry she is, she’s also exhausted from this relentless pursuit to find an answer for everything she’s lost. To find some kind of reason, someone to blame for it all--when there just isn’t any. In the end, all she’s left with are these broken pieces and someone who cared for her despite everything. And the other side is just as important? Comte spent years watching over her with the full expectation of her hatred. Doesn’t make excuses for himself, doesn’t try to plead his case at all--welcomes her to attack him. For all her bitterness and fury and uncompromising resolve, he sees her for who she truly is. Someone hurt, but still full of rough-edged kindness. Maybe it was just my own feeling of difference, but I kind of hate how they removed the grittiness from MC.

I feel like there’s a sensibility of “my sad past/my tragic backstory” and “love heals all wounds immediately” in the ENG ver. JPN ver felt more “I don’t know where to go or how to move forward, but I sense real warmth from this person. While I’m not sure if this is the right step, I want to trust that it is. I want to take care of this person like he keeps taking care of me.”

I mean I have a hard time taking lines like “Why did I ever hate him?” Seriously???? Like. You thought he [bleeping] murdered your parents, turned you into a vampire, and left you to rot on a whim. Yeah you were gonna be full of spite and hate in response?????

This is just an example of what I mean:

ENG ver: It finally made me realize that though we’re vampires, we were still very much living creatures. It doesn’t matter if I was a human and he’s a vampire. I would have fallen in love with him either way. My rough translation records: [Even vampires are living creatures filled with warmth, despite our bloody nature. When we're touching like this, it's impossible to deny. Whether human or vampire--I don't care, I love this person...]

ENG ver: I’d spent so many years living in loneliness, hungry for revenge. No one had ever touched me with love like this before. Now it felt like le Comte was trying to fill in all the emptiness that had resided in my heart. My rough translation: [I’ve spent so long only living for revenge--life empty of all else, devoid of any joy. What a wonderful thing it is to be touched so dearly by someone who loves you...Just as Comte filled the loneliness of my past, so too does he fill my heart now.]

The content isn’t hugely different, but I feel like the conveyance matters. Could just be a me problem though.

It feels like the writing was so dissonant and out of order, rather than smooth and narratively flowing (IkeSen is probably the best example of this seamlessness). One thing I’ve also noticed between IkeSen, IkeVamp, and IkePrince is that IkeSen and IkePrince have a more dynamic, clever, and more animated MC. As a result, while I love the subject matter of IkeVamp, my enjoyment tapers off because the writing does leave something to be desired. Maybe it’s unfair of me, maybe the localization was rushed--I don’t know. But I feel like accurate tone and MC competency are a big part of my enjoyment when it comes to my fave otomes. And it’s a bit of a shame IkeVamp suffers in those dimensions. Even stranger considering how insanely developed the suitors are in terms of characterization and design...

Also because I’m still going feral over it.

So like naturally when MC is attacked by that man and Comte protects her, I really didn’t think too hard about it. He’s protective by nature, of course he’s going to move her out of the way.

But then something occurred to me.

If she’s a turned vampire in this event, that means she would most likely not die from a stab wound the way a human might. Which begs the obvious question. Why would Comte be so frantic with concern? Why go to all the trouble? And the answer hit me like a train.

She died from stab wounds. She literally lost her life after being sold off by her family, drugged beyond the ability to function, and stabbed over and over while she was powerless. Intervention by Comte was not just about protection; it was an act of mercy. He was ready to do anything to make sure she wouldn’t have to experience that again, and didn’t look so much as bothered by the knife in him.

I’m so ridiculously tender.......not wanting her to be retraumatized......

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp mc #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #as disappointed as i was there was a part of me that just #relived all the softness of this event bc it's killing me #'even though you hated me you were worried about me--you have a good heart :>'#why dont you just shoot me in the head while youre at it comte #anywho yeah idk the writing for this es???#can't say i was feelin it to say the least #all im gonna say is some people know how to write revenge and some people really don't lmao #rambles #not incorrect quotes

92 notes · View notes

riviae · 5 years

Note

I'm BEGGING you to expand on your hc that Regis and Lambert have adhd whenever you get the time

sorry this took so long anon!! i’ve been in a bit of a writing funk so apologies if this isn’t as robust of a set of hcs as i’d normally provide. but w/o further ado, here are some incredibly self-indulgent adhd hcs for regis & lambert:

regis:

perks of being near immortal: an inexhaustible amt of time to focus on hyperfixations!! being a scientist/medic sprouted from his newfound beneficent interest in humans /after/ his uhhh bad blood bender days. mandrake brewing and other forms of distillation came about later as an interest after he read an encyclopedia on brewing techniques & became intrigued™

stimming! we know the big one presented in tw3 (clutching the straps of his satchel), but i could see him having other stims, such as when he was younger & had longer hair; perhaps he played w/ or twirled his hair while pouring over books etc.

in a modern au he’d 100% be the type to listen to a singular song on repeat for hours, if not days, humming the tune under his breath while doing mundane tasks

two reading modes: voraciously reads whatever is put before him..... or takes 2 centuries to read (1) book he’s been carrying around. there is no middle lol. hc that he had a few manuscripts on witchers in his possession at the time he was traveling w/ the hansa that he had been carrying around for awhile, but never got around to reading them before his fate at stygga castle

impulsivity--it might seem more tempered now that he’s older, but he still shows flashes of the brashness of his youth (i mean he did choose to follow geralt & company on an adventure w/o any preamble or explanation in the books so.......)

needs stimulation of some kind; otherwise, he’s prone to bouts of intense boredom. which is never good for higher vampires. at least regis has enough hobbies/general interests to keep him busy tho so he never /really/ feels the urge to fall into more... bad habits. HOWEVER, he also experiences times where he is overstimulated, in which case, he retires to a cold and dark place (hence the crypt) to regain control of his whirlwind thoughts/emotions. he can also be overstimulated by really large crowds, tho he still enjoys traveling to bigger cities since they usually have stores/books/ingredients he needs

chaotic workspace/alchemical bench when in the midst of research. it will seem too messy/unorganized for most ppl to work comfortably in, but it’s organized in a way that specifically caters to how regis categorizes certain ingredients, reagents, etc.

when he’s having trouble concentrating, it becomes more difficult for regis to retain his usual corporeal ‘human’ form. he tends to shift into his incorporeal/’smoke’ form, if u will, especially when working in his study/lab bc his mind is racing as he makes observations, changes his hypotheses, makes notes, takes stock of ingredients/materials, etc.

even alone, regis talks to himself. usually as a way to organize executive tasks & to plan them out accordingly. otherwise, he may drift from project to project or task to task w/o any logical progression or find himself distracted by something else in the midst of an important task he currently wants prioritized

passage of time problems. combined w/ his longevity.... regis is definitely the type to forget what month, season, or year he’s in if he gets too engrossed in a topic of study.

lambert:

textbook insomniac. he can meditate much better than he can fall asleep, but it still isn’t the same as actual sleep,,, which is bad™ when ur life/livelihood depends on being cognizant & aware of your surroundings

stims w/ his witcher medallion. the vibration of the medallion against his sternum would usually agitate/worry other witchers, but the feeling/motion of it is actually soothing for lambert as it helps him focus on the task/contract at hand.

rejection sensitive dysphoria is a big ol’ problem for him. it’s partly why he pushes ppl away on instinct. having someone close to him truly criticize him in a non-teasing or cruel manner? definitely hurts him much more than he’d ever admit or show outwardly. his emotional control/general understanding of his emotions is also quite dulled/poor even compared to geralt bc of his own self-hate (masquerading as narcissism) /and/ adhd, which makes his emotional outbursts even more explosive

a major hoarder. if u think geralt’s bad.... lambert is the epitome of a compulsive hoarder. he logically knows what stuff he can keep, what he can sell, what should be thrown away, but he has difficult getting rid of the stuff that’s ‘in-between,’ so to speak. things that /could/ serve a purpose in certain situations, but said situations are incredibly unlikely to occur. in truth, he may seem like a very well-prepared witcher to say a random peasant or villager due to the sheer amt of stuff he carries on his horse... but 98% of it are things that he will unlikely ever need

will forget to eat and sleep if in the middle of an interesting contract. executive dysfunction definitely contributes to his ‘prickly’ mood/behavior since most of the time he isn’t eating or sleeping enough. which is why he is much more agreeable/calm when on the path w/ someone he gets along w/ (i.e., aiden in tw3) bc he has someone to remind him to eat or take a break

textbook reading/academic-style learning is not his forte. he was an awful student at kaer morhen tbh. BUT, anything done by first-hand experience? he’ll be hard-pressed to forget it & can generally pick up new skills/trades much easier than even geralt or eskel. for instance, lambert is actually quite a good smithy/repairer & often does a better job repairing his own equipment than if he were to get a professional to do it.

along w/ this, he’s quite good at remembering personal details of others/things ppl tell him about themselves. he tries to hide how good his memory is in this regard, but for some reason biographical info of other ppl sticks much better in his brain than say a fictitious ballad. non-fiction > fiction, basically.

physical activity of any kind can usually ground lambert when he needs to focus or wants to meditate/sleep/etc. he might go on a run if he’s stuck on a contract or needs to let out more energy

has difficulty explaining himself/his actions especially when relating to contracts. he makes wild jumps in logic w/o explanation bc that’s how his brain works (not linearly from A --> B --> C but A --> C w/o the hassle of an extra hurdle). other witchers can usually understand his line of thinking, but when it comes to getting paid for his work... this can be a problem

also shows passage of time problems but on a much smaller scale. has it been 10 mins or 4 hours since he started meditating? regardless, it’s getting dark now so he should probably stop

difficult relaxing/always on-edge. drinking and playing gwent can help somewhat, but even if he’s doing something enjoyable, lambert is never really, truly relaxed. [insert image of computer w/ too many tabs open here] it’s something that vesemir noticed when lambert was young and tried to help him find an outlet/hobby to relax him.... which is where fishing ‘the witcher way’ comes in. nothing screams relaxing like throwing a bomb into a lake & diving into freezing cold water to pick up the fish to cook later for dinner, am i right? in vesemir’s defense, he did try & teach lambert to fish the ‘traditional’ way... but that didn’t really keep his attention

#emiel regis #lambert #witcher headcanons #witcher 3 #witcher 3 wild hunt #tw3 #again sorry this took so long anon!! but i really hope u end up seeing this :0 #Anonymous

76 notes · View notes