#I'm so decent at figuring out how to pronounce other languages | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diorgirl444 · 1 day

Note

Hii Flo! How are you doing? I was wondering if i could maybe have a marauders/or slytherin boys fanon relationship matchup?

My name is Layla(pronounced leyla)and im 5'4

Appearance: my height is pretty average, hourglass figure sort of. Im quite pale and i have brown curly hair to a little lower then my collarbone. I have brown eyes, i have chubby cheeks which i love, my cheeka are usually slightly blushed necause i get cold alot. I wear mostly neutral colors such as black, grey, white and brown/beigh. I'm half swedish and half algerian. I have long eyelashes. I have a softer body type, such as a softer tummy snd all that, which again, i love

Hobbies: my biggest interested/hobby is definetly art. I absolutely love drawing and creating stuff. I usually draw stuff that ive seen irl or in my dreams because i have quite vivid dreams. I love music aswell, I've been singing my whole life and writing songs is something i love, the art is my main hobby though. I also like going for walks, i live in a small village so going out and sitting somewhere quiet whole drawing is amazing. I listen alot to arctic monkeys, david kushner, The Neighbourhood, the cramps, the Smiths, one direction. I gym alot, about 6 times a week.

Personality: i am an INTJ-T, i like being alone. I have a few close friend that i hang out with every now and then, i'ma decently closed off person, very few people know alot about me. I have anxiety and daddy issue(not trying to be quirky or sum shit i just have a shitty relationship w my dad) I'm usually very quiet. I'm a leo sun, scorpio rising and aquarous moon. It sounds weird but I'd consider myself quite a submissive person if that make sense? Im just natrually a quiter, nore submissive individual. I've never really been a person that does too well in school subjects such aas math, becahse logical subjects where theres only one answer, has never been my thing. I don't like admitting it but deep down im very self conscious, even though i kind of always seem like a confident person. I'm both introverted and extroverted, i can be very loud at times and i strugfkr with regulating the volume kf my voice because of my adhd. Id describe my humor as somewhat dark- my jokes are usually about myself and things that happend when i was younger which i find funny while others find concerninf- im quite sarcastic.

Things i like:

I love art, music, reading, writing, working out, fruit...fruit is my mains soruce of nutrition i love that shit so much i could write an essay on it man...i also love pasta, and chocolate. It makes me happy :')

I love rain, and my friend's and Going on walks, and going on walks in thr rain, and going on walks in the rain with my friends

Things i dislike:

Tomatos, math, ehen people think im stupid or unintelligent purely bc im bad at numbers-

Other informationsss:

My favorite colors are pink, beigh, grey and black. I've been told that im hard to approach? My love language is gift giving and physical touch. You cna almost always find me fidgeting eith the hen if my best friends shirtx or rubbing up and down her calf absentmindedlt while we sre talking(yes shes okay with this she koves it)i love getting hugged if its from someone im comfortble with, i love sitting in silence while drawing. I live analyzing different things, everything from art pieces to human behavior. I have an intrest for psychology, i'm studying law!

Oh and i speak swedish, English, german, romanian and french!

Andddd my aesthetic is so mixed- think like dark academis meets soft grunge mixed with coquette?

Soo, this is me, oh also im straight(but we support woman 110%)

So yea, thank you in advance!(if you domt have the time thats okay!)

hi thanks for waiting so long! i had to take a bit of a break with tumblr cause of gcses but i can’t wait to see what you think of your matchup <3

your perfect matchup is 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <3

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <3

okay so this took me an embarrassingly long time to decide between sirius and remus but ultimately sirius won out in the end because i am nothing if not an absolute sucker for a good opposites attract trope! 🎀

i think you two meet through mutual friends (remus and lily of course) at a weekend trip to hogsmede and just hit it off right away. it’s funny because you’ve heard so much about sirius, how he’s a relentless playboy, a troublemaker, a delinquent but to you he’s a perfect gentleman. which is confusing for everyone who witnesses it.

at first they all just think oh he’s immediately just decided that you’re only friend material because you’ve got so much in common but also different enough that that would work. so the two of you spend the whole day just hanging out and no one thinks much of it….

till sirius gets back to his dorm and tells remus ever so dramatically “i’m finished!” remus is obviously wtf???? and sirius rolls his eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and he’s all like “i’m finished with my hookups - i’m a changed man! there is one girl for me and i intend to be with her till the day i die” which is kinda like woah chill out! but also very cute :)

now i wouldn’t say you feel the same because you’re not insane but you are like “oh he was cute, hope i see more of him” kinda thing. anyways the point is you’re both into each other but of course don’t know that about one another because where’s the fun in that??? 😜

and sirius being sirius he doesn’t go about it in a normal way oh no he decides he’s gotta work out how to impress you first and you know what he’s gonna work that out as dog! such a sound plan!!! so whilst your sketching by the lake a large black dog potters over to you and lays at your feet. which obviously you think is adorable so you’re petting it and stroking it and just giving it sm attention (if only you knew it was sirius)

anyways it becomes like a habit for you and this dog. you go down to sketch and it joins you. you talk to it, sing, read and as you do all that sirius falls in love with you. meanwhile you to maintain a friendship as humans too but when sirius is in his animal form he sees a side to you in that time that no one else does. he falls so deeply and slowly like the way winter gently falls into spring. 🌷

he confesses in a similar way, you’re ranting to his dog form about how much you want sirius to ask you out. then suddenly you look up and there’s him boyishly grinning at you, dark hair flopping beautifully onto his forehead, he looks like a cursed prince of a forgotten land. when this happens your jaw literally drops and you’re throwing various explicates at him but he hushes you with five little words “may i please kiss you?” and forced into silence you nod cheeks burning.

he kisses you like you’re made of porcelain, a precious treasure which he cannot break, it’s prefect. when you two pull back to get your breath back you tell him teasingly “i still haven’t forgiven you for pretending to be a dog” and he says “will you forgive me if i ask if i can be your boyfriend?”you just laugh and kiss him again. sirius can’t remember a happier memory to that day. <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <3

very easy and comfortable very quickly, the two of you adjust naturally into a routine that’s right for the two of you. a very quiet sort of intimacy that tends to surprise onlookers - it’s not at all what people expect of sirius but that’s okay because you two just get it so why worry about anyone else?

sirius is very physically affectionate like literally super glued to your side for the rest of your life now so like enjoy that i guess… 🤨 okay jk it’s very endearing but also its perfectly okay to need breaks so don’t forget to remind him that you need your own space sometimes. i mean he’ll huff and he’ll puff but he’ll get it.

okay but do you know what his favourite thing in the world is? it’s when you play with his hair. picture this it’s a warm rainy summer evening he’s laying along the sofa in the common room, his mess of dark curls in your lap, your fingers toy and fiddle with them, absentmindedly humming along to the smiths vinyl which crackles in the background. it’s pure paradise for the both of you just cosy and warm and soft. god i’m so jealous of the two of you!

he’s always treating you to things! as heir to the black family fortune he’s got an insane amount of cash to splash and he’d much rather spend it on someone he actually cares about so he’s always buying you stuff. a top he thinks you’d look good in, a fancy hardback of your favourite book, or simply your favourite chocolate bar. doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, cheap or expensive, so long as you like it that’s all he cares about.

he thinks your sketches are the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. unfortunately i can’t promise that it’ll be easy for them to become more than sketches because god forbid your attention leaves him for half second. like you’ll be in the library sketching with him sat next to you and then suddenly your cheeks are being smothered with kisses and a hands trailing its way round your chair turning you to face him. what can he say he missed you? good thing he’s cute bcs he’s such a little shit you love that about him tho

it’s very, very rare that the two of you fight but he always apologises first! don’t get me wrong he sulks for a bit first because like he’s sirius black but then he catches your red rimmed eyes and all is forgiven. because he made you cry? yeah he sucks - he’s sorry pretty girl he’ll never to it again and he gives you full permission to kill him if he does.

also his friends love you! you’re exactly what sirius needs to balance him out. honestly they don’t know how you handle him but they’re not complaining! like please keep him for as long as you want him they’re all sick to death of him!

he proposes to you on the last day of school with his family signet ring. he knows he sounds crazy but he’s loved you from the minute he met you. he’ll give you a proper ring soon but for now he gives you his family ring because you’re his family now. you’re all the family he could ever want. his whole world <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <3

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

#diorgirl444 #flo answers #mutuals <3 #layla <3 #matchups closed #matchup request #sirius black #maraurders #sirius black x reader #marauders x reader

4 notes · View notes

will80sbyers · 1 year

Text

I am so impatient omg I've been here for like 5 days and I sent lots of copies of my CV but I want to already have a job and a room somewhere sharing with roommates and be settled so that I can have a routine and do stuff and learn new skills everyday and idk get myself out of my comfort zone completely and start talking to strangers and maybe have a new group of close friends here and go to LGBTQ+ meetings and idk go out more for walks and be super independent at the same time, earn my own money and all that...and I want to have all the ways of moving around with the public transport figured out and know how to travel completely on my own without having to depend on my cousin here to move 🥲

I'm grateful that I have her for now and that she can host me until I find a job but I want to be out of their home because I feel like I'm disrupting their peace here somehow idk I will always feel like I bother ppl when they do things for me... there's no way out of this I think 😶 also I'm not being chatty enough with her husband because I am super anxious about wanting to leave them alone which is probably not good to actually make them not feel like I'm annoying... And I feel so awkward talking in English when I know the other person knows my first language too and I feel like suddenly I can't pronounce shit anymore 💀 thank god that at least I do understand people when they talk so I think I may have a chance of doing decent interviews for the jobs I've applied to

#personal #needed to dump all of this somewhere

8 notes · View notes

rigelmejo · 2 years

Text

Learning Chinese and Japanese back and forth is a weird time because like

When I started Chinese the fact I had to learn like double the amount of characters was daunting. Versus Japanese where the kana take like a month tops to learn then you tend to learn the Kanji in class very slow, my approach to Chinese was like "ill cram 300 hanzi in a month, then 500 in 2 months, then 1000 within 6 months and after that start brute force reading webnovels, then another 1000 by the end of the year so I can read webnovels easier (which was 2 more cramming hanzi months around month 10-12)". And like... for me hanzi cramming was actually most common word cramming after the first 300. So I had 1000 common words known roughly by the time I went into trying to read. (And a basic grammar summary I'd crammed month 3). And by the end of year 1 I had 2000 common words roughly familiar with along with probably a few hundred from immersion.

And so like. Hanzi were not that daunting after all? Because they largely meant vocabulary learning at the same time for me with the way I learned them. And by the time I was immersing in month 6 I was getting used to learning hanzi from context to a degree like you guess new words in French from word stems/endings/grammar function/surrounding sentence, I was guessing hanzi words by hanzi combos/radicals/grammar function/surrounding sentence.

And what that all amounted to is chinese ended up having a lower barrier to entry for immersion for me. Once I knew a hanzi I knew a pronunciation of all new words wirh them. Once I knew a radical I had a Guess of new hanzi pronunciations or at least a guess of pinyin to look up to find it. 1000 hanzi known meant a ton more words I could figure out from context even if they had unknown hanzi for the other part of them.

Then I go back to Japanese. And the Kanji seem even more daunting. Because there's way more frequency of multiple readings for a character, because there's more words in kana only that I have to learn with no character to hint at meaning. Grammar remains relatively clear (though it's own hurdle for me) but I'm stuck back in the problem of needing to relearn a Kanji each time I learn a new word cause often the Kanji has a new pronunciation, new tail end of hiragana depending on word type. No more "oh I learned this character now all words with it are easier" but "oh I vaguely know this character but now it's brand new pronunciation spelling time potentially better assume nothing". Kanji seemed daunting at first but after chinese somehow seems even more daunting in a way, while hanzi ended up being less daunting with the way I study in the long run.

Don't get me wrong, my study method could be applied to Japanese fairly decently still. I got back into Japanese (I used to vaguely know like 500 Kanji to a small 1 meaning/pronunciation degree and 1000 common words), and I drilled 600 ish common words in clozemaster (which gave me some more common words to work with). And then tried brute force immersion just like with chinese. On the upside my hanzi knowledge helped me with guessing some new word meanings easier when combined with grammar and sentence involved and prior context I have of a given material. So reading suddenly got a LOT more accessible. But on the other hand it just highlighted to me how much MORE Kanji intimidate Me lol. Because even if I can read a Kanji word in context, I'm miles away from knowing it's pronunciation, from knowing the full word and being able to say I learned it - I can read it sure but if I only know the visual aspect then I still need a lot of audio reinforcement/studying it's pronunciation later. And the next time I see that Kanji in a new word it may mean something different and be pronounced different yet again and I'll start the process from scratch. Just like. Grammar aside, just the hanzi versus Kanji difference is a lot for me when trying to get into immersion and how that translates to full on language skill. With hanzi I can pick up a new hanzi from a compound word, then that new hanzi to pick up another new hanzi in a compound word with IT etc. In Japanese I know so little of the pronunciations that I cannot do that yet (tho I imagine eventually maybe learners can start to) so I pick up a lot more words in a reading sense but in no other dimension and have to do more supplementary work to pick up words. (Yes I've got to do supplementary work to pick up Chinese words and reinforce listening but it's more like just getting used to hearing it instantly, it's less to learn the words pronunciation at all - tho that happens to a degree). Idk just like I did not expect my brain to pick up one system easier than the other but it definitely happened that way in retrospect.

My reading skill has always been unbalanced in languages I learn, with it ahead of all other skills (like wow French reading is fine but my French listening skills are pathetic). But it's most extreme in Japanese where like. I got to the point of eventually being able to read novels a bit (struggling desperately but like just barely getting tje gist of a normal level entertainment novel which is a LOT when for 2.5 years I couldn't even used to read a manga without a dictionary). And being able to read video games if I have some prior context (which IS WAY above my old 2.5 years level and ultimately all i need to do.. just need to read faster now). And now I can read manga at an enjoyment level where it's not terribly brutal but it's just a good reading level for me (not slow, new words in context, doable). Which is what my reading level in Chinese was at about month 8-10 where comics were the sweet spot of doable casual reading material. And like. It took me 3 months of japanese to get there. And now that I am over the "kanji" reading hump to a degree I can glance at novels and could finally brute force immerse with them if I wanted. But it's so funny cause now my reading IS at a level where I could probably pick up a fair bit from immersion and dictionary alone. But my other language skills are pathetically low in comparison including not knowing what a lot of these words sound like (with the exception of the words thar give me furigana in manga thank u furigana). Whereas at this point in Chinese immersion level, I could have conversations with people over text and could start audio only immersion because a lot of words I picked up I also picked up the pinyin of and got some more rounded recognition of beyond reading.

Tldr it just hit me I could go pick up a manga rn and read it, but I can't do much else in japanese with ease yet. I do realize a part of that is my absolutely lacking in audio study which I always need to do more of lol ahsjjd. But even when I do audio study in Japanese I really have to do it in combo wirh reading at some point for Kanji readings.

#rant #feel free to ignote #idk just floors me how hanzi helped my japanese readint slightly and yet hanzi looked so mucn more daunting to me #i remember being a beginner in both thinling like #oh no 2000 standard kanji to learn #and 2600 ish standard hsk hanzi #then in the end? once i learned about 1500 hanzi they ended up being one of the most foundational #tnings i relied on when studying chinese. hanzi help me so much and help me learn more.#meanwhile they even help with japanese now.#whereas no matter HOW OFTEN i tried to brute force cram kanji or japanese common words #i just did not get the widespread foundational help the same way

14 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Eight

A/N: Just saying the story is picking up pace after this part so get ready.

Words: 3.4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I watch as Tommy and Nikki finish up their MTV interview to promote the new album, Nikki glancing at me every now and then.

"And, before we go, can you repeat those dates again for the release of the video of first single and the debut of the album?"

"Uh, the 'Girls, Girls, Girls' video--we're filming for that around the end of the month, the album's coming out between May fifth and May tenth, probably." Nikki states.

"Alright, you heard it here. May is gonna be the month of Mötley Crüe, obviously when those release details become more specific we will let you all at home know but for now just keep your eyes on May. Nikki, Tommy, it's always a great talk anytime you're in the studio with us, we appreciate you dropping by."

"No problem." Nikki says.

"Anytime, Dude." Tommy adds.

"Good luck with the album, it's gonna be at the top of the charts when it's out, I guarantee."

"Thanks, we really appreciate that." Tommy nods.

"And good luck also with shooting the video, I'm sure plenty of our audience will be looking forward to all the women, and of course we'll be looking forward to all the censoring we're gonna have to edit in." The interviewer's last line is sarcastic as he shakes their hands, and they laugh. "Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe, folks. Don't go anywhere." He finishes as they cut, and Nikki waves me over, sitting his coffee cup down to reach for my water bottle in my hand.

I give it to him and he nearly drinks the entire thing before handing it back to me.

"Thank you, babe." He says to me, letting out a breath as the interviewer bids them one last "goodbye" as they stand up and stretch.

We have to meet Mick, Vince and Doc at their rehearsal space so they can continue their auditions for background singers.

So far, the girls that have tried out are either gorgeous but can't sing, and the ones who can sing like Whitney Houston aren't "hot enough to be on the same stage as Mötley Crüe", even though I've seen them hook up with far worse.

I haven't said a word about 'You're All I Need' because the giant, heavy scratch my key left on the entire passenger side of Nikki's brand new car will say plenty when he finally notices it.

So far he hasn't even driven the thing since he's been back. It's just been in the garage.

"...Okay, thank you for your time." Nikki pipes to the pretty dark-haired girl with almost honey colored eyes.

I think she's on the "hot but talentless" list.

"Dude, we're never gonna find fucking singers." Tommy groans, rubbing his face.

"Viv, can you sing?" Vince whines.

"Like chalk against a chalk board." I reply blankly and he sighs.

"All this has been is just hours and hours of disappointment with a few good blowjobs in between." Vince states.

"Just shut up and be patient." Mick tells them.

Doc sends the next girl in, and I see everyone's faces light up because she's pretty.

Blonde hair, a nice figure, and she dresses the part.

"Hi." She greets us with a smile.

"Hi." Vince grins back.

"I-I'm Donna McDaniel." She says next.

"Okay, here's some lyrics." Nikki hands her a sheet of paper with the main lines of a few of their songs she'd have to sing backup for and she takes it. "Start when you're ready."

The relief on their faces when she starts, makes me want to laugh.

She's attractive and she can sing.

"When you leave, tell Doc that we're interested, and he'll lead you to where you can stay until we finish up." Nikki informs her and she nods, handing the music back to him.

"Thank you." She tells them as she steps out.

"No, thank you." Vince says out of earshot, looking a little more hopeful that they'll find their second singer.

And sure enough, they do.

Within forty more minutes, they're sending everyone else home after another blonde, named "Emi" but she pronounces it "Amy", comes in.

I can see Vince's mind churning up how to get her and Donna to fuck around with him, and Nikki can see it, too.

Once Emi is sent to wait with Donna, Nikki's going into military sergeant mode.

"If we hire them," he starts, pointing at Tommy and Vince, "nobody fucks them. Got it?"

"What? Why?" Vince looks heartbroken.

"You don't shit in your own backyard, man, that's why. They're employees, we're the bosses."

"Yeah, Vinnie, we can't have employees having us wrapped around their finger." Tommy adds with a nod.

"It's the easiest pussy there possibly will ever be, are you serious?" Vince complains.

"If it's so easy, why did they both turn you down already?" I point out and he glares at me.

"Just. Don't. Fuck. Them. Got it?" Nikki sternly asks.

I guess now is a good time to mention that Nikki fucked Donna on the "Girls" tour.

The closer we got to tour, the more adamant Nikki was about cutting his addiction.

But, despite him constantly saying "I'm done with it" and throwing away everything to get high on, I'd always find him crawling around in our yard, naked, with his shot gun...carrying on about midgets and Mexicans.

It wouldn't take the neighbors five minutes to call and let me know he was out there.

Trying to tell them a believable excuse was the hard part.

I let out a soft breath, pulling the covers tighter over me, drifting further and further into sleep as the sound of our ceiling fan and Nikki flickering his lighter from the closed closet every now and again moves through the room, and lulls me to sleep.

I don't know what time it is when I wake up to the sound of Nikki screaming, running out of our room, but I force myself to sit up as quickly as I can and go after him.

I turn on the light in the hallway just in time to see him pressing the "panic" button on our security system contact box, which alerts West Tech, our security company, and they send out one of their people to come check on the situation.

"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him and he turns to look at me, pissed off and paranoid.

"I'm tired of these bastards not giving us any peace."

"W-What? Who?"

"You know who!"

"Nikki, what are you talking about?!"

He had smoked his crack and convinced himself our security had bugged the house and were watching him, constantly.

Then, he had decided "no, it's the FBI that's watching me" and gained the courage to set off the alarm to our security that something wasn't right.

And then, by the time West Tech arrived, Nikki was turning on them, again.

"Nikki, let me get to the door." I tell him calmly as the knocking continues.

"Fuck off!" Nikki shouts.

"Mr. Sixx, it's Chris with West Tech--"

"--Get off of my fucking property or I'll fucking shoot you!" He screams as we stand on the other side of the door, his shotgun ready. "You motherfuckers have bugged my house and I'm not fucking taking it anymore!"

"Mr. Sixx--"

They stop trying the second Nikki cracks the door open, and points his gun at all of them.

I hear them scatter to their van, the tires screeching as they quickly make a break for it.

He slams the door shut and locks it, the both of us waiting in silence until we decide they're gone.

"You called our security...then shot at them because they answered the call..." I point out to him, exhausted, and he looks down at me. "I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom." I state.

I lock the door behind me and climb into the bed, hearing Nikki go back to our bedroom, and I envy Karen for staying over at a friend's house because Nikki is starting to really wear me down with his shit.

The next few nights consists of Nikki, Tommy, me and the director working on the music video, Wayne Isham, trying to decide what strip club would be best to film the video for "Girls, Girls, Girls" at.

And me and Nikki arguing over another matter that is too be determined:

"I said I'm not gonna be in the video." I repeat to Nikki, crossing my arms and he raises a brow.

"Babe, it's not that serious." Nikki states.

"I already told you I'm not comfortable with it."

"You wear bikinis all the time, you wear thongs and bras all the time...It's not like I'm gonna have you up there topless or anything." He motions to the stage of the Seventh Veil.

"Nikki, I'm not comfortable with it. Why can't you just let that go?"

"Why can't you be more fun?"

"Nikki, it's fine if she doesn't want to." Tommy lightly tells him with a chuckle.

Nikki doesn't even hear him, too busy focusing on me to see if he cracked me or not.

"Are you fellas good on drinks?" A scantily clad cocktail waitress asks us.

"We're fine, thanks." Wayne tells her with a decent amount of class...but that doesn't sit well with Tommy and Nikki.

"Okay, my name's Tabby if you guys need anything, let me know."

Before she can smile and walk away, Tommy's stopping her.

"Actually, there is something else, Tabby." He states, smiling, and she grins politely.

"What can I get for you?"

He motions for her to come closer and he gets in her ear, with Nikki smirking, knowing exactly what he was proposing to the pretty brunette.

Her face pales, and she glances at me before awkwardly giving Tommy nudge with her elbow as if he were joking.

His face shifts to one of seriousness.

"What, you think I'm joking?" He asks her and she tries to keep from looking too uncomfortable, giving all of us a small smile before saying:

"I've gotta get back to work. Let me know when you guys need a refill, you know it's on the house."

She walks away and Nikki and Tommy chuckle.

That was the first time I had seen a woman get uncomfortable around the guys.

Usually they were all for whatever it is Tommy or Vince suggest doing with them...I later found out Tommy had suggested to Tabby that he and Nikki meet her in the bathroom to tag team her.

That's why she had looked almost sick looking at me, when he was whispering in her ear.

She was probably thinking:

"Bless her naive heart."

Me nor Wayne bother to ask any questions about the incident before we're getting ready to go.

The guys and Wayne talk to the owner about possibly shooting the video and he's all for it, giving them the day after tomorrow to get it done.

I'm too busy thinking about what Nikki said earlier to really listen all that much.

"Why can't you be more fun?" who the hell does he think he is? Oh, right, he's "NiKkI fUcKiNg SiXx."

Once we're stepping outside and telling Wayne "bye", Nikki and Tommy are putting in to going to the Cathouse.

I just want to go home.

"I don't feel like going all the way back home, then coming all the way back." Nikki complains and I furrow my brows a little.

"Nikki, it's..." I grab his wrist to pull his jacket sleeve up and look at his watch. It's nearly 3:00am. "...2:53."

"Then just call a cab." He suggests.

"Are you on smack right now?" I don't sugarcoat the question. "You're being a bigger asshole than you are when you're sober." I add.

"Fuck off!" He snaps at me.

I can tell Tommy wants to say something, but keeps quiet.

"Fine." I say, turning on my heel to the payphone down the way.

I realize I don't have any money to pay for it, but before I can go back and ask Nikki for some change, he and Tommy are off.

So I find my next option.

I walk nearly an hour to the Franklin and get to where Duff's staying, only to find him, and none of the guys are home.

I feel like crying, but decide this isn't the end of the world before I calm down and sit by his door like a lost puppy.

I wake up to the feeling of someone nudging me awake with their shoe, and I'm met with Izzy looking down at me.

"Izzy." I greet him.

"Viv." He replies blankly. "Did you leave or were you thrown out?" He asks me and I roll my eyes before he gives me the slightest hint of a smile before it fades and he's nodding across the hall. "C'mon."

I stand up as he unlocks his apartment and motions me inside.

"You can stay here until Duff gets in." He says.

"Thank you." I reply, sitting on the couch as he hands me a shitty blanket.

"I'm gonna go scrub the lipstick and regret from my balls." He informs me, heading to the bathroom.

"At least you regret it." I say back.

"Nah, I don't regret getting a blowjob from a random girl, I regret not nailing her." He corrects me and I don't even hide my laughter.

Once he's done, he's stepping across the hall to see if Duff's back. Apparently he is because Izzy's coming to get me.

"Fuck off, Sixxette." He takes the blanket from me and I gladly head towards Duff's place.

When I get inside, Duff's passed out on the couch, snoring, and smelling like a bar.

I walk over to him, gently shaking him awake, and he let's out another groan.

"Go away." He waves his hand, his eyes closed, and I raise a brow.

"Duff, it's Viv. C'mon, at least go get in your bed so you won't feel worse tomorrow."

He perks up at the sound of my voice, lifting his head, rubbing his eyes.

"I've...is this a dream? 'Cause usually you're naked and 'Purple Rain' is playing." He slurs and I feel my face heat up in embarrassment.

"No, it isn't a dream...and I didn't need to know that but thank you, I guess." I reply, pulling his boots off.

I help him stand, his tall, lanky figure towering over me.

"You look pretty, were you on a date?" He asks when I get him to sit on his bed, helping him not fall over as he tries to take off his shirt and gets caught in it.

"Er...kinda?" I shrug and he nods. "Were you on a date?" I ask when a condom wrapper falls from his jacket and he scrunches his face up.

"Er...kinda." He replies in the same tone, rubbing his face and I laugh. "Hey, I'm a bachelor now, Viv. I'm gullible. I mean elgib--no, estrang...or amb...what the fuck is that word?"

"Eligible?"

"Yeah, that one." He coughs, taking his belt off as I pick up his scattered dirty clothes and put them against his wall in a pile.

When I turn back around, I get a split-second's worth of an eyeful of him completely naked and snap back around, covering my eyes.

"Ohh...I should've told you I'm freeballing." He says.

"Just..." I turn around, keeping my eyes closed, holding my hand out for his pants so I can put them in the pile with his other clothes.

"Are you reaching for it or something?" He laughs and, again, my face is bright red.

"No, Duff, I'm not reaching for it. I need your pants." I inform him.

He laughs some more, throwing the pants my way and I take them and put them in the pile as he crawls into bed and under the covers.

"By the way, it's bigger than that." He informs me and I furrow my brows and look at him.

"What?"

"It's cold in here so..."

I realize he's referring to his dick and I scream internally.

"...Okay, Duff, too much informa--"

"--I'm packing. That's all I'm saying. I'm like a can of Spam. Lotta meat in--"

"--Shh!" I blush even more, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Oh, oops."

"Jeez. Goodnight, Duff." I'm about to go sleep on the couch.

"Where ya going?" He asks me when I turn the light off.

"Sleeping on the couch."

"You can sleep in here, I can take the couch." He sits up.

"No, no. You're not gonna feel good tomorrow just sleep in here, really, it's fine."

"Well, are you gonna be okay? You don't sleeping by yourself."

I sigh, wishing it were that simple.

"Duff, we can't do that. Nikki wrote an entire song about wanting to kill me, and it was because he thinks something's happening between you and I." I explain.

"Nikki accusing you of cheating?" There's an uncomfortable wait before he says, "that's fucking rich."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't like it so out of respect for him--"

"--I don't fucking respect him." He mumbles.

"Duff, you're drunk. Just sleep it off."

"You're right. I should shut the fuck up let the universe deal him his fucking cards."

I ignore him saying so, turning to leave, but I stop myself.

I'm only here to begin with because Nikki couldn't just take me back home.

I step back to the bed, taking my heels and jacket off.

I take the extra pillow under mine and put it between us as I get into bed.

"Goodnight, Duff." I say quietly, turning my back to him.

"G'night, Viv."

Nikki would have had an absolute fit had he known, then again, I wasn't fucking Duff, I had no intention of doing so, and I told Nikki exactly where I ended up staying the next day.

The sun glitters through the window of Duff's room, hitting my face, and I blink my eyes open, feeling Duff breathing in and out.

Sometime during the night I must've broken past the pillow partition because, although I'm facing away from him, my back is pulled to his side, the side of my face is resting against his bicep, my shoulder tucked under the pit of his arm, and the arm that my face is against, is wrapped around me, his hand resting against my stomach.

I turn to look at him, seeing his peaceful expression as he sleeps contently.

My mind drifts back to that dream I once had about him.

I hate that Nikki thinks anything is going on between Duff and I, but it's my fault.

I lied about seeing him, I lied by omittion at the beginning by not even telling Nikki about him...a part of me wants to think if I were to tell Nikki about me dreaming I had sex with Duff, it'd be a wake up call that our issues are more serious than he believed.

I mean, when you're in a committed relationship and you can picture yourself having sex with someone you're close to, to the point your subconscious creates this entire fantasized scenario, there's something wrong that needs to be talked about.

But another part of me knows he'll flip his shit, call me a "whore" and probably file for divorce.

So, keeping it to myself it is.

My eyes go to my crucifix lying on the bedside table, and I reach out for it.

I taken it off last night when I felt too guilty for sweeping in the same bed as Duff, knowing Nikki wouldn't like it.

I thought if I took it off, I wouldn't feel bad anymore.

And I didn't.

When I was a teenager I would take that necklace off anytime I did something I thought my mother would disapprove of. Whether it was cheating on homework assignments, or, eventually, fucking Nikki Sixx.

I ended up picking that habit back up once Duff and I started getting closer, except instead of avoiding the disapproval of my mother, I was fleeing the disapproval of Nikki.

One thing I didn't take in to consideration, however, taking it off left me at risk for leaving a track.

Just like Mick had put together I had slept with Nikki because my crucifix was on his bedroom floor back in '81, halfway through the "Girls" tour with Guns N' Roses, I accidentally left my track on the bathroom counter in Duff's room, where Nikki went to throw up while he was hanging out with him, Slash, and Steven.

What they should teach in children's church: if you're going to sin, keep any religious jewelry or articles of clothing on.

Whomever the hell you worship already knows you're up to no good.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #gateway drug

73 notes · View notes