#I'm just so tired and sad like I need validation and affection and support and she does not do that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-diabolist · 1 year

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Derek Goffard (N)SFW Alphabet

Hey look, I actually finished one. Too bad it's Derek.

A — Affection (How affectionate are they?)

uhhhh

I don't think he ever feels much genuine affection for anyone, but he can get away with artificial affection.

Under normal circumstances, he's mostly just mean. But if he's feeling insecure or sad or something, you become his emotional support animal.

This may lead to cuddling, hair stroking, and overall sticking to you like glue. He might even treat you like a therapist and unload some of his issues - not that you can do anything about them.

(He will refuse to acknowledge any of this later.)

Now, if you happen to have him wrapped around your finger? Then he's a little more consistently demonstrative.

Because he wants you to like him. He needs you to like him. You like him, right?

Oddly enough, the closer he feels to you, the less likely he is to open up. So he won't ask for that validation directly; he does it by being physically affectionate and gauging your reactions.

(If you're not receptive, he'll assume you're upset with him or something. If you reciprocate, it'll reassure him.)

In short: he can be affectionate, but it's for him, not you 😅

B — Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and of their partner’s)

There's nothing he doesn't like about himself physically 🙄

Well... other than the scars.

But that's why he covered them up with that baller tattoo!!

So, his back went from his least favorite to his most favorite. He's proud of it, from a reclamation standpoint, even if he does still jolt awake with phantom pain sometimes.

Give him a back massage if he's feeling particularly waspy - he'll simmer. Trace the ink and he'll go all relaxed and boneless. Kiss the scars and he's putty in your hands forever.

As for you, it's probably obvious - he likes your mouth.

He likes the way it feels against his own, or trailing over his skin, and how pretty it looks wrapped around him.

He likes how your lips look when you pout, or smile, or scowl, or scream. He likes how you bite them when you're nervous or excited. He likes the way they shape his name.

I hope you like expensive lipstick, because you're definitely getting some. He wants you to wear it while you blow him. He knows he'll enjoy it.

(What he doesn't expect is to get so turned on by the lip print you leave behind when you kiss him on the jaw the next day. The color, the shape - after he caught sight of it in the mirror, he'd made you give him more while he fucked you on the sink.)

Write him a little note (or better yet, a wish list) and sign it with a kiss. All his blood will rush south and he'll have to sit down.

C — Cuddling (Do they cuddle? How and when?)

He does! (For selfish reasons)

He’s likely to view you as a comfort item on rough days regardless of your status in his life, but if you’re anything more than just a toy to him, he’ll do it a lot more often and more gently.

If he’s stressed, upset, tired, sick – you name it, you’re his captive source of relief. That catharsis comes in many forms, some more violent than others, but cuddling is one of them. Especially if he’s feeling particularly wet and pathetic.

D — Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory; a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd never say this - I'm not sure he'd even admit it to himself - but he kinda craves a hard dom who'll just wreck him.

Try it sometime. Get him beneath you, plant your foot on his chest (or neck), and use your most authoritative voice to tell him you expect him to behave or you'll punish him.

He'll still scowl (it's knee-jerk), but that flush on his face isn't because he's angry. He's fronting; don't back down. I guarantee he's already rock hard.

Degrade him, order him around, hurt him (but not too much! He's a lightweight), tie him up, edge him until he's sobbing and begging. You'll have him whipped for life.

Don't get me wrong, he's still going to be super bratty about it - that is his natural state, after all - but taming him isn't too hard. He gets desperate fast.

Keep his leash short. It's what he deserves.

E — Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

The only effort he puts in is more or less accidental.

Which is to say: if he’s putting in work, it’s because he’s made things difficult for himself for no reason.

Could he just be nice to you? Show you he cares? Sure, in theory.

But instead, he’s mean until you’ve had enough of him, and then he has to fall all over himself trying to make it up to you so that you’ll speak to him again.

Occasionally he will make an effort seemingly spontaneously, but it’s just because he wants something from you, mark my words.

F — Favorite Position (Goes without saying. May include a visual)

I don't think he's picky, honestly.

When it's go time for him (which is frequent), he just kinda grabs you and gets down to business in whichever way is easiest.

So like... against the wall or on the edge of a surface (sink, table, counter) happens a lot, and bending you over things happens a lot.

But missionary/mating press on the floor or the bed or the couch probably happens the most.

(If I remember right, he's the only one in that game who does fuck you face up. Everybody else hits it from behind.)

Sometimes has you ride him. If you're the dominant one, that'll happen more often than not.

G — Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Can he afford gifts? Yes. Will you get any? ...Depends. I fully believe it's possible (though maybe not likely) to manipulate him into infatuation and get him wrapped around your finger, in which case he'll get you anything you ask for.

Or even if you can't whip him, you may be able to get him emotionally entangled enough that he'll bring you something now and again (if you've been good).

Normally, though? You're property, and property doesn't need gifts. He'll adorn you as he sees fit, meaning sometimes you'll get clothes or jewelry (it's mostly lingerie tbh), but they're not exactly gifts.

Either way, yeah, he's entitled af and expects your undying loyalty and complete obedience in return xD

H — Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Similar to cudding, he will hug you if he needs a hug.

Will also do it as a precursor to sex. He thinks he’s sneaky and clever but it’s obvious.

More likely to enjoy it if you’re sitting in his lap, but it’ll still turn him on, so you’ll eventually end up in the same situation either way.

In front of his friends, unless it’s one of those days he’s trying to appear aloof, he’s either going to be hanging all over you or he wants you hanging all over him.

I — Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He does not know what intimacy means, nor can he even spell it.

Has no desire to be romantic. He will be occasionally, but only in the same way that a broken clock is right twice a day (meaning: accidentally).

As I’ve said, he’s more of a softy when he’s feeling depressed or anxious, at which time he might share his woes with you. Which I guess counts as some degree of intimacy, even if he’s just being whiny.

J — Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Ohhhh boy.

Listen. Despite all his bluster, this little brat is actually very insecure. So yeah, he gets very jealous very easily.

But that's not his fault (because nothing is ever his fault), so it must be your fault, right?

So get ready for him to make his jealousy your problem.

(Make no mistake, he'll definitely be a dick to any third parties who may or may not be inspiring the jealousy in the first place, but he likely won't do more than throwing attitude and snide comments.)

He's not going to win any prizes for sweetness or consideration at the best of times, but he's downright mean to you when he's feeling jealous. Like in a petty way.

He'll ignore you. Call you names. Trip you or bump into you so that you drop your drink. Tell you to go get his jacket from across the room and then insist that you keep looking when you can't find it (he didn't bring a jacket).

If you've never been bullied before, you're going to learn how it feels.

And worse - since it's rooted in insecurity and attachment issues, the only way to get this behavior to stop is to fawn all over him. Even though you've never wanted to fawn over him less than you do right now.

Cling to him, tell him all the ego-inflating things he loves to hear (he's so handsome, you absolutely adore him, can't get enough, he's so good to you, etc), drag him off somewhere and cater to his preference for physical affection.

Eventually he'll calm down and you can live your life (mostly) normally again.

K — Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Well we covered the lipstick thing already ;)

Blood kink - remember that improptu tongue piercing he gave you? Yeah. He's intrigued by period sex too, if that applies to you; he hasn't decided if he should give it a try or if it's too icky for him.

Sadomasochism - which role he's playing will depend on you. He defaults to sadism (physical and emotional/mental - he's a meanie), but if you're a rare breed and manage to dominate him (it's not that hard, actually), he's a very good masochist. His tolerance for degradation is much higher than his tolerance for physical pain, but he'll take both.

Edging - related to the above entry. He's a mean guy, and he'll delay or deny your orgasms for days at a time (if he can manage not to lose control, which... is hit or miss. Sometimes he just gets too into it and messes up). If you're domming, give him a taste of his own medicine - but he's not good at holding back, so he'll probably test your patience.

Begging/dacryphilia - another obvious one. Your tears turn him on and your begging feeds his ego; do both and you'll turn him into a minute man.

L — Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Honestly he's not picky.

He has no sense of shame and even less respect for consequences, so practically anywhere is fair game as far as he's concerned.

Won't necessarily go for it right out in the open, mostly just because you're his and he doesn't care to give random strangers a show. He gets jealous too easy.

Does enjoy the thrill of illicit behavior, though, so somewhere out in public but slightly hidden is his ideal.

Public restrooms, back row of the movie theater, in a parked car, etc.

Sneaks you into his room through a window, like a teenager, just for the fun of it :p

M — Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)

God, what doesn't? 🙄

Doing something "provocative" with your mouth -- could be anything, ranging from licking cheeto dust off your fingers to biting your lip to scowling. Double points if you're wearing lipstick.

Stoking his ego. Compliment his appearance, praise his intelligence, tell him how good he is at things. Double points if you give him doe-eyes while you're at it.

Depending on his role in your relationship, these things may also apply:

Shy, submissive behavior, especially if it adds an element of dubcon, like avoiding his gaze, shrinking away from him, getting tongue tied, gasping/whimpering when he touches you, etc.

And stuff that feeds his sadism, of course, like crying, begging, or screaming.

OR, if he's the submissive one: using a stern voice, degrading him, and being mean to him in general. Really likes it when you use him however you want and then kick him out. 😈

N — Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on?)

Can he afford to take you to fancy places? Yes.

Does he take you to fancy places? Nope.

Nothing educational or "high-brow," either, like the planetarium or zoo.

He prefers simple, straightforward, entertaining things like going to a movie/sports game, or an arcade.

He'll definitely try to get you into paintball.

Probably also parties with "friends" in clubs or whatever.

Dates with him can be fun and eventful, but also kinda exhausting!

O — Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I'm sorry but.... not only is he not very inclined to service you this way, he's also not very good at it when he does.

You're pretty sure he knows what to do, but he half-asses it because he'd rather switch places with you 🙄

He’ll happily be on the receiving end all day long. He adores your mouth, after all, and is even fonder of things being all about him.

(Don’t let him tell you he’ll return the favor if you go down on him. He’s a liar. Make him reciprocate up front or you’ll get nothing.)

Does slightly better in a 69 situation, but only if you pace yourself so that he has incentive to do a good job. If he climaxes before you, it’s all over.

A bully, and mean about it. Likes the whiny, reluctant noises you make. Maybe you don’t want him down there after all 😑

Silver lining: he’s actually pretty good with his fingers. Ask him to do that instead.

P — Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc)

Fast and rough almost every time.

Has no patience, plus he can go several times in quick succession, so he sees no reason to slow down.

And why would he bother being gentle with you? He’s such a big fan of the sights and sounds of you being ravaged by him.

As far as he’s concerned, if you aren’t begging him to slow down, he’s not doing it right.

Q — Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex. And if they happen, how often?)

As long as he gets off, he honestly doesn’t care.

Yeah, longer sessions give him more time to play with you, but also… he comes fast (and then maybe a couple more times – his refractory period is short), and then he’s tired.

His drive is high, too, but he doesn’t always have a lot of time.

So… quickies are probably the norm, unfortunately xD

R — Risk (Are they down to experiment? Do they take risks?)

He’s down for – and, in fact, pushing for – any risks that don’t involve possible pregnancy.

He wants to try practically everything he’s ever seen, or heard of, or imagined.

This includes positions, kinks, toys, maneuvers… anything he thinks might be fun to do to you, whether you show any enthusiasm or not.

S — Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

At first, he probably doesn't. He has his own big fancy bed, why would he deign to sleep in yours?

Maybe he'd occasionally decide he's too sleepy after sex to go back to his own room and he'll stay over, but don't expect him to cuddle, and he's leaving as soon as he wakes back up (and he's going to hog the blankets for sure).

If you do manage to get him deluded into thinking your relationship is more like a normal one, though, he might start to see you more as a source of comfort and seek you out when he's feeling vulnerable.

He might decide to stay the night with you if his father has been particularly terrible to him that day. You might wake up to him sliding in beside you in the middle of the night after he's had a bad dream, or if he's been restless and unable to sleep.

(He's almost cute like that, but don't be fooled -- he still hogs the blankets.)

T — Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

He doesn’t trust you and he doesn’t not trust you.

He does worry (or know) you’d leave him if given the chance, but he makes sure to deny you that option, so it doesn’t really matter.

If you’re close, he does trust you somewhat – to keep his secrets, be on his side, etc.

U — Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

Oh jesus christ

Unfair is practically his middle name.

If he can find a method to tease you that 1. torments you mercilessly, probably leaving you with zero satisfaction and 2. still gets him off, he will abuse it until long after you’re sobbing.

Anytime you get what you want, rest assured that it’s merely a side effect to him getting what he wants.

To his credit, though, at least turnabout is fair play – if you’re the dominant one, this is exactly how he wants you to treat him.

V — Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

It's nigh impossible to ever get him to shut his (whore) mouth, and the bedroom is no exception.

He usually starts with well-controlled - though mean - dirty talk, mostly of a derogatory nature.

Then it'll turn more into babbling centered on how good you feel.

Eventually he'll devolve into breathless moans, and he won't last much longer after that :)

W — Wild Card (A random headcanon)

I think he’d be really into any piercings you may have. His favorites would be tongue or genital piercings.

As a matter of fact, if you don't already have a genital piercing, he might just decide to give you one, and then get you jewelry with a scorpion on it.

Basically a "property of Derek" stamp for your naughty parts 😒

He’d probably want to do the same thing to your tongue/lip, too.

X — X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He is probably the one who injured you xD

If you're just a toy to him, he won't care beyond wanting to keep you in working order.

If he actually cares about you to some degree, he'll still pretend not to care - up to a point, anyway.

For something mild, he'll just make fun of you for being a wimp.

If it's moderate, he'll also make fun of you, but at least he patches you up/helps you get around.

If it's severe... he'll definitely panic. Freaking out may include: yelling, being too rough with you (accidentally), fumbling everything he tries to grab, and possibly crying.

Like, he'll get you the help you need, but it's gonna be stressful.

Y — Yuck (Any pet peeves about their s/o? Do they have any habits that might bother their s/o?)

He’s fussy. He’ll probably complain about literally anything, even things that he actually finds attractive, because he’s a grade A buttface.

He doesn’t like it if you pay attention to other guys (or girls, if you’re attracted to them too), or if you don’t take him seriously – even when he’s throwing a tantrum and being unreasonable.

(He always wants sincere and unwavering attention from his chosen Comfort Item, and anytime he doesn’t get that, he’s going to be upset.)

As for you, I mean… take your pick of his awful attributes.

The emotional instability, the unreasonable demands, his spoiled rotten attitude – the list goes on!

Also he bites his nails and chews with his mouth open, because I said so.

Z — Zeal (Are they passionate? Do they like passion?)

Lack of self-control, passion, call it what you want 😊

He gets worked up into a frenzy pretty easily, which is pretty much the same?

As for whether he likes passion, it’ll depend on your relationship dynamic.

If you’re just a toy, then no. He wants fear, not passion. If you’re more like a couple, then sure, he won’t complain.

A better complement to him is probably someone cool and collected, though. If you’re domming, I recommend taking that route.

#already had like a dozen of them written. Figured I might as well finish it #the price of flesh #alphabet mashup #rune writes fanfic #derek goffard #tpof derek

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kikyan · 10 months

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Hiya, hope you're having a lovely day^^

Haven't done one of these before, so I hope I don't mess up (And that my request is still valid in-terms of the event end date).

I'd like to request a yan. mash up for TWST & ObeyMe!

I'm 18, my pronouns are they/them, I'm a Cancer and INTJ. I'm a pretty anxious person. Having social anxiety, agoraphobia, being a homebody and just being an overall introvert, I tend to keep to myself and avoid going outside much. Im an over-thinker and a night owl. When I'm around people that I don't feel comfortable with, I'm very much a quiet, shy, jumpy, awkward, paranoid, tired lookin' loner. But when I get comfortable and l'm with close friends or family, I'm quite the opposite. I'm bold, sarcastic, and have a witty sense of humor, I’m a cocky little shit that likes to tease the hell outta people (obv because that's how I show love ^ ^) | can also be reckless at times given the right environment. But aside from that I’m a pretty chill person. I love to learn and indulge in other people’s interests. At times I can be extremely overconfident and daring yet insecure and cautious^^ im also really loyal to everyone I care about, I value community and trust, caring and supportive, the list goes on. As for some of my (debatably) negative traits, I can be quite blunt and straight forward (I don’t like sugar coating ), defensive if I’m proven wrong, I can occasionally be indifferent, passive aggressive, reclusive and aloof if I get pissed/sad (even if it’s for something small). I’ve been told i have rbf •_•). I like cleanliness and neatness, but I can also be somewhat messy when I procrastinate cleaning. Hobbies: I love drawing, I have a crap ton of sketchbooks that are filled with drawings front to back, and some that have never seen a pencil before ^^; (I have my fair share of twst and obey me fan art =w=). Reading, reading, and ReaDing! I’m a book worm^^ i mostly read horror, thrillers, and mystery novels. Also, I’m incredibly obsessed with gothic literature and poetry (I’m a bit of a writer myself). I live for horror! Movies, books, shows, etc. I specifically like psychological, cosmic, and gothic horror. Music wise, I listen to rock, metal, alternative, indie rock, post-punk, and new wave. Though I’ve recently been more into 80’s post-punk (as of right now my fav band is Caifanes, definitely recommend them). Style: I don’t usually care much for the way that I look, i prefer comfort over style most of the time. I usually ware black, anime t-shirts, baggy jeans, leather jackets or oversized hoodies, and my go-to converse or docs. I dunno what else to include, so I guess I’ll talk about what kind of person I like. I like it when people can be honest and voice their feelings, concerns, wants and needs. I definitely appreciate a proper and mature way of communicating. My receiving and giving love language is quality time and physical affection, so having someone who loves to receive and give both is an immediate green flag in my book. I personally like clingier personalities to a healthy degree, I swear ^^; I definitely love people who are openly lovey and romantic, I find it adorable, especially cause I’d do the same right back. A person who loves to try new things, and who loves spicy food (cuz being a picky eater,,, that’s a deal breaker). I like someone who shares my same hobbies and is just as ambitious as me. And if not, that they at least support and encourage me to do what I like. Personality wise, I like a person who is soft and caring, romantic, honest, noble, creative, humble, cautious, a night owl (so that me can both stay up late into the night) someone more mentally stable then me (that or just as mentally unstable as me =^=) and lastly someone who would also indulge in my hobbies with me. I hope I added enough of the right things for this request and that it’s not confusing >x< it’s long I know. Anyways, thank you so much for your work, I love everything you write, hope to see more of it. Take care love ^,^)/♡

I have no words to explain why this took months. I don't know, but better late than never. . .right? You probably heard this before and it won't come as a surprise but I match you with Idia (TWST) and Levi (OM!)!

When it comes to what I gathered from your personality, you probably relate to them more instead of simping but I see you with them! Side note, I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND OMG YOU SOUND SO COOL?? I ALSO WANT TO SEE THE ART PLS! PLS LET'S BE FRIENDS!

Moving forward...I see how they would both love you. You love their hobbies but understand them like nobody else. With Idia, his love for you starts when you start to open up about your hobbies. He probably starts to think about you but not in the best way at first. When he notices you like the same things but he probably wouldn't see them as a reason to get closer. He may find it as an excuse to not approach you because he's not sure if you're a casual fan or a fan-fan. Would you be disgusted with him? Find him as one of those cringe fans who bring the fandom down. Are you a casual enjoyer who wouldn't understand his passion? Though he would love to share his passion, would you look down upon him like everyone else? I'm not quite sure if I included this in my headcanons, but Idia is an observer. Which I think makes him open up to you because he can see the real you. I want to say that if we follow the story of the game, you probably don't meet Idia until after you established some friends with Ace and Deuce. He probably has some image of you already established, no doubt you're very social. When you mentioned how you were someone very shy and quiet when first meeting someone, you probably do it to be nice or at the very least, respectful. He probably sees that side of you at first and doesn't think much of it. He probably thinks that his likes and dislikes would scare you away until he overhears maybe Deuce or Ace talk, "You like that? I never would have expected you to like that, [Reader]?" That's when he gains a little boost, you like the same thing he does. Not to mention you're a shy thing, so no harm in at least trying. I think once he finally does talk to you, he can see all the unique things about you as well as how similar you both are. Idia is the same, spoilers for the phantom bride card but he hated the whole ordeal. In his vignette, the rest of the students hyped him up so much that he kinda got overconfident making everyone regret saying anything. He didn't do it to be a bitch, but rather he said it because he was comfortable around the others. Who wouldn't? So he would return that sarcastic humor. He would probably love teasing the hell out of you. Stay up all night gaming with you, exchanging messages left and right, etc. I can already imagine the list of recommendations that both of you exchange. He would love seeing your art and hype you up, maybe even propose writing a story together. Of course, this is yandere so what is yandere without the horror aspect? Idia wouldn't exactly show you off but he would be so content with calling you, his. His friend, his S/O, his partner, his gaming buddy, etc. He's not like Leona who would strut into the room with his arm around your shoulder, but he would love it when you say, "Oh yeah, sorry I can't tonight. I'm hanging out with MY partner tonight." Of course, don't tell the others it's him because right now he can't handle that feeling! He would love spending quality time, he's not at all picky with what is being done as long as it's with you. Watching anime together? Done deal. He's gaming and you're working on something else across from him? God imagine he looking up to see you so focused, he just smiles lightly at the idea of you spending time with him and then you look up and see him. His face is BEAT RED, stuttering and looking back at his PC while his headphones have his online friends yelling at him to pay attention and to assist them. He's clingy to a not-so-healthy degree and will often set up scenarios to gain pity so you have to cancel and hang with him. I want to say that while his heart cannot handle the affection IRL he would love the idea of holding your hand and cuddling against you. Imagine he's pouting because he maybe received the worst news, but you're there to comfort him? His world is perfect if your attention and affection remain on just him and him only.

Okiedoki, now Levi. They're the same but so different. As I started to play Obey me again and literally from the beginning, I love their family dynamic. Though they all love each other, they're not afraid to tell each other their faults either. I think with Levi it's no surprise that he sees himself as inferior to his siblings. I mean Mammon is scummy but he's a model. Asmo has a vlog and is well-loved even if it gets to his head. Satan is hella studious and has a temper, Belphie is just there and Beel; he has a good heart but his stomach knows no bounds. No need to point out Lucifer, he's polished and pristine, with no flaws that he can vocalize without being strung upside down.

I mean why would you want to be with him? Like Idia, when he finds out you like the same content he does he's probably on the skeptical side as well. I mean, really? Do you like that? When he finally does talk to you about it, he wants to prioritize your time. "[Reader], did you want to-? Oh sorry, you probably already have plans huh?" It's no doubt he assumes you rather want to do anything else other than be with him. When you take him up on his offer, he's so overcome with joy. A blush on his face as he excitedly takes your hand rushing to his room to do the equivalent of setting up the table but rather dinner, setting up an anime marathon. He is smitten with you, another one with a not-so-healthy clingier personality. Another one who just wants to spend time with you, it doesn't have to be anything specific either. I think as time goes on he can become confident too, sometimes even challenging you, He becomes sarcastic, occasionally laughing at memes and sending them to you with a simple "reminded me of you". I think the biggest thing is that Levi could be 100% honest with you. At first, he may not want to voice his feelings, but when you reassure him, he just lets it all out. Though Levi may not love horror himself, he loves your style and appreciates your passion as well. He thinks you're so cool and to be able to stand next to you, gosh you have ways of getting to him. He would proudly march his ass to a movie theater to watch the scariest film as long as he can hold your hand during the entire movie. Let's talk about yanderes, he's the same with Idia where he would 100% say something that forces you to drop what you're doing to spend time with him. Another is, I like to think Levi has been on some sketchy websites, spreading rumors about people who approach you. When those rumors as well as "proof" start circling, you should stay away from them. I stand by the idea that the brother would help one another to keep their S/O trapped. Levi may ask of Asmo's services when digging up gossip and possibly Belphie's to stalk the victim in their sleep and torture them from the inside. While all this happens, Levi will continue to play the role of the perfect boyfriend.

I hope you enjoyed your matchup!! Thank you for your continuous support, have a wonderful day!

#kikyan #yandere matchup #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere idia shroud x reader #yandere levithan x reader

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 4 months

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TW emotional abuse mention

Looking for validation

My bf is usually so good with me, I have (PTSD and ADHD) but sometimes he gets frustrated with the ADHD stuff and doesn't seem to realize I gotta work through the PTSD before addressing like. Organizational things?

He asked me if my therapists had any tips to help me remember to do a chore, and I said "no my therapy is mainly focused on the 26 years of emotional abuse" and it made him sort of quiet.

I have ways of making myself remember and do have plenty of ADHD resources, but I will always be a bit disorganized per my mental disorder. Idk it is just tiring that he cares more about the ADHD than the PTSD issues maybe? Or sees one as a curable condition?

He is usually very supportive but this sort of made me feel sad tonight. I'm probably just overreacting tho

Anyways, thank you for listening 💕

Hi anon,

The way I understand this dynamic is that on the outside, he sees your priority as managing your ADHD. But from your perspective, the magnitude of your PTSD easily outweighs what you have to put up with from your ADHD. Perhaps he struggles to see the effects of your trauma and PTSD.

It's completely up to you, but if you feel that "the ADHD stuff" is genuinely getting in the way of things, maybe you could balance your therapy sessions to address both your PTSD and your ADHD. That being said, there are certain elements to either of these disorders that are inevitable despite treatment, but I suppose it's more a matter of what exactly he's frustrated by, and if that is something that can be worked on or if it's something he needs to learn to tolerate.

I'm curious if you've talked to him about your trauma, PTSD, or the ways that they affect you. Perhaps that could help him put in perspective where your priorities are. It's quite possible you've tried having that conversation previously, but communication can help both of you be on the same page about this. If you've tried explaining this before, maybe a follow up conversation is in order, and you could consider sharing how you feel about what he said, as well as what you wish he understood more.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

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vyl3tpwny · 2 years

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I rarely send asks or write about the way someone's music affects me but seeing you were on Tumblr and kind to fan letters made me wanna pitch my two cents..

I first found your work through your most popular album— CUTIEMARKS, which my friend, now partner gave me to help recover from the nastiest breakup I ever have had, a 5 year relationship marked by control and hiding who I really was. I used to be in the mlp fandom, really active, but hid it due to comments from friends and at one point my ex for how cringe it was.

Your songs were a breath of fresh air, characters I hadn't thought of in so long, exploring all these real emotions and coming out the other end. I had a small ipod and just placed CUTIEMARKS and Queen of Misfits on it and would go walk out and enjoy the night air. I haven't really spoken to people who wouldn't except the true me for over a year now.

I still listen to all your albums, new and old, and am excited to get the fish whisperer vinyl release. I'll proudly display it in my home. A lot of it is like, finding the tools to help yourself, but I'm happy one of those tools was your work.

I used to outright hide my passions, fandom connections, LGBT identity, everything. Now I'm open about it all. I have people who call me Mrs. Lulamoon in public and I proudly grin and go along with it.

I hope to see and support your work for a long long time. Hope it's some solace you inspired someone to keep running and be themselves after years of hiding it.

this is the goal with a lot of my current projects and i'm relieved to know it helps people ;w; i think it's like me, and a lot of my friends and peers, have gone through so many different things. lots of the stuff i wanna talk about in my work is either underrepresented in art, or it's done in a way that doesn't really find relevance in my personal life. a lot of artists seem to want to cover really broad or otherwise vague topics, and they're completely valid in doing so. i always have to remind myself that rarely is any artist doing something wrong, just following a path that they want to follow. but regardless, for me personally, i want to write about very specific and potentially niche ideas and situations. of course i'm guilty of writing these songs too, but i feel like the general breakup; getting together; mundane crush; loneliness kind of songs have been overdone to hell and back. i want to really consider that loneliness, why is it that way, what even is loneliness, is loneliness even a valid thing. what does loneliness have to do with art? what does it have to do with understanding the world in a way by contrast. i just wanna take these things and ask more questions. rabbit holes like this are how i arrive at something like fish whisperer, in specific. and i want to write more hopeful things. i'm a little tired of things being super prolifically upsetting or existential in a way that leaves you feeling like "ok am i supposed to be feeling sad after all this". i think we need to start instilling hope, and a desire to live, and a drive to experience the world in a personal way — rather than succumbing to the everyday cynicism. even CUTIEMARKS was born out of a really immense depression and resurgence of negative ideations. but in making it, i began to unravel this beautiful truth about life. shit hurts so bad, quite often. you tend to go through these cycles of suppressing yourself super often. but among that, you learn every time. the idea is to take what you learn and add that to this emblem of hope that exists.

let's start being hopeful together.

i'm glad these projects have meant something to you!

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emaciated-creechur · 1 year

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I don't understand how people can want to look like clones of each other simply because it's popular to look a certain way other than just feeling incredibly lonely and desperately wanting to fit in, or having such low self esteem you let others decide how you wanna look. And I feel so sad for those people, cause they must feel so awful about themselves and think getting external validation will somehow make them feel better about themselves but it won't, it'll never be enough. Sure, getting love and support helps a lot but it won't make you actually change the way you see yourself in the long run, that's an effort you have to make for yourself.

Idk I guess I don't understand how some people can find other people ugly simply because of some random thing that has no baring on the kind of person they are. I think everyone looks so cool and beautiful and unique and it's so wonderful how different we all are! I find so much beauty in diversity, in how different people can be, whether it's their body type, their skin, their hair, their facial features or other qualities. I'd find it so boring if everyone looked a certain way and there was no variation whatsoever.

I only think someone's ugly when I find their personality and behavior ugly, but maybe it's just that I don't understand a lot of social expectations because of my autism, or maybe it's because I'm in the ace spectrum.

Yeah, I might not feel attracted to certain people, I still have a type, but that doesn't mean I won't appreciate the beauty of someone who's not my type, despite not feeling attracted to them.

I never wanted to look a certain way because that's what other people would find more attractive.

I've been bullied for having freckles, countless people have insisted over and over again that I would look better with straight hair and that they want to see how it'd look like ironed out, I've been told my body hair's disgusting and I should get rid of it, that I should eat more cause I look like a skeleton, that my head would look too small if I cut my hair short, people would constantly compliment my sister's eyes because they're blue while ignoring my brown eyes, I've been told that gingers are bad luck/a jinx, like a black cat, I've been told I would look uglier if I transitioned, because men are uglier than women, apparently, amongst other things. But it never made me stop liking those things about me, it just frustrated me how other people would pester me about it constantly and try to make me feel bad about things that I like about myself.

I think all my insecurities when it comes to my appearance and the way I present myself have to do with gender dysphoria. I've always found my breasts annoying and cumbersome, like a burden, because I can't wear a lot of what I want without having to find a way to flatten them cause they'd make me look like a woman, I don't like my hips being so wide because they give me this hourglass shape, I don't like my stretch marks or cellulite cause I relate it to femininity, or my period for the same reason and also because it's painful, a hassle and makes my body weak and tired, and I feel the need to lose weight because I want to get rid of those things.

I used to find my voice high pitched and irritating despite other people finding it low and pretty, and now that it's actually irritating to other people because it cracks constantly I fucking love it and I even crack my voice on purpose to laugh at other people getting annoyed by it.

That's also why, unlike other trans guys, I don't have height dysphoria either, despite being 162cm(5'3") tall, because there's lots of cis men who are really short and cis women who are really tall and they're all super cool and trans people are really cool too no matter their height. It's just annoying when I can't reach something that's too high up and I have to ask for help or get a stool or a chair to get it but it doesn't affect me on my day to day life all that much tbh, so I never really pay much attention to it.

I just don't like it when people call me short king, or king in general. Idk why it feels patronizing to me in particular. It's not that there's anything wrong with the frase, it just feels personally icky to be called that for me. I think it's because a lot of people tend to infantilize me, and being called short king just feels like another form of that in the contexts I've been called that. Like they feel sorry for me being short so they have to give me a cute nickname to make me feel better about it, like some king of consolation prize. They don't call tall men tall kings or something like that.

I never wanted to look like someone else, just a male version of myself. Whenever I felt like someone gave me gender envy, it was because they look like me but with a masculine body, the way I would look like if I was amab, or finished with my transition. Because then I'd truly feel like myself. Because I'm not a woman, I'm a man, and I want my body to represent that.

So I never straightened my hair and I always make sure it's extra fluffy and curly, I cut my hair whatever length I want and style it however I think looks the coolest at the time, I let my body hair grow and never shave it, I enjoy the sun against my skin and just wear sunscreen so I don't get burnt, I started taking testosterone, and I might get top surgery no matter if people think my breasts are already really small or that I should like them because people find boobs attractive, because that's what makes me feel more comfortable with myself.

I eat as little as I can because it makes me look less curvy, therefore more masculine, and because it's a coping mechanism and an eating disorder, something that's a literal metal illness and an addiction. Something I'm just relying on for support now that my life's so complicated, until I'm in a better place and can finally start working on recovery.

And I'm just so very happy that my body's finally looking, feeling and sounding the way it makes me the most comfortable, the way it's supposed to be: not because that's what others expect it to be, or what other people would find more attractive, but because it's finally starting to feel mine. I feel like myself when I see these changes, not like some random stranger in the mirror I can't connect with, some hollow doll body my mind happens to control, something I can hurt and neglect because it's nothing more than an object I happen to be trapped in, like a genie in a lamp.

That's why I always get so irritated when other people compare my transition and gender affirming healthcare in general to other cosmetic surgeries, because it's not like we're trying to escape who we are, or make our lives easier to become someone else, or look a certain way because that's what society expects of us, it's literally the opposite, it's us wanting our bodies to reflect who we truly are on the inside. And it offends me how people will convolute such different things on purpose just to make our lives harder.

Idk, I just wanted to rant about all of these feelings I've been having lately, both positive and negative, and how sad I think society putting so much weight on something that defines so little about someone's inner self as their appearance is, and how I don't understand how some people can just let themselves be guided by something so unimportant, how they can just let something so insignificant define so much of their lives and their relationships.

#body positivity #body neutrality #eating disoder trigger warning #male ed #trans ed #trans ana #ftm ed #transmasc #ftm trans #diversity #rambles of an emaciated creature

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sillylilfairy · 10 months

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Bit of art therapy inspired by folklore of brownies transforming into more poltergeist-like boggarts following ill treatment from humans in an attempt to avenge or protect themselves.

Personal post with some sad feels, but an overall message of self love because I owe that to myself. Kinda long, but then I remembered. Who cares? It's my blog and maybe my self reflections will help someone else idk.

I realized that as a queer auDHD person, I love my friends a lot, I'm trusting, loyal, genuine and willing to put in the work to keep things healthy and resolve conflict. I'm very free with giving out affection and support to my friends because I like relationships where we build each other up.

But I also forget that not everyone sees friendship the way I do or is in a place to be able to be a healthy friend to me and sometimes I end up getting hurt. I have a tendency to believe people when they tell me I'm important to them and take them at face value, so mixed messages are very hard for me. I've...been gaslit a lot and trained to doubt myself so much I often apologize for things that aren't my fault and take on problems that aren't my responsibility, even when it's done with the best of intentions. I'm tired of doing that...and it doesn't allow others to make their own mistakes or be accountable for them. Mistakes are how we learn and learning from them is how we grow. I can be supportive, validate and offer resources, but I can't *make* anyone okay and that's okay. Sometimes I beat myself up for not having the right words to say in the moment or a crystal ball and for being imperfect and y'know what? That's okay too. I never want my friends to self flagellate after making a mistake either, even if they do or say something that hurts me. As long as they aren't being dismissive of my needs and feelings or abusive, then I don't burn bridges. But I still have a right to my feelings and shouldn't be expected to bury them and carry on as usual without addressing anything and would never expect my friends to either. Sometimes you're gonna set boundaries or be honest about what you need and it is the last thing the other person might want to hear. But honesty is always the best policy and hurts less in the long run. And I try to be a safe person for people to be able to do that because I've been through a lot. We can only do our best to meet people half way. No more bending over backwards for belonging, approval and affection. No more apologizing for asking questions or feeling guilty for having feelings and needs and expressing those in a healthy way. No more trying to shoulder everything alone or staying quiet and pretending to be okay when I feel hurt or uncomfortable.

If other people take issue with that, it's not my problem. I'm entering my villain era >:3 I deserve stability, security, mutuality, reciprocity, trust and to feel valued in my friendships. And if people want me in their life in any meaningful way, they'll make the room for me to take up space and not expect me to shrink down to fit. Because we make time for what's important to us and I deserve to feel important to my friends too. Cue evil laughter >;3 ... For context, I'm going through a painful, confusing friend breakup I never wanted or saw coming. Among some other things and realizations that just kinda suck, but there's good in there too. And thankfully I have several other friends who've been very loving and supportive to me over the last few years that I can turn to and I'm redirecting my love and energy into those people as well as myself. I realized I needed to take my own advice and stop trying to make everyone happy. Because at the end of the day? You can't. Time and energy are finite resources. You'll just keep giving til there's nothing left for what's important to you and burn yourself out. I'm still sad and will be on and off for awhile, but... I know I'll be okay too

#faesona #villain era #self care #self love #vent art #personal post #fairy #dark fairy aesthetic #dark fairy #dark art #gothic art #fae #gt #tiny person #myart #folklore inspired #ramble

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dysvvvunctional · 1 year

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i don't cry every night.

just on nights like this. lol.

i cry mostly just because i'm tired. i'm tired of living inside my head. trust me, i really want to get out of here.

but i'm getting to understand that running away won't help. i should learn to understand myself, my thoughts and feelings, accept them and forgive them. forgive myself. that is the only way i can live peacefully... i guess.

trust me, i'm getting used to everything here, i don't lash out and i don't act out emotionally so easily anymore, i can say i'm... more in control. but it still does feel overwhelming sometimes.

and what makes it worse is that i feel alone. not just lonely, but also alone. that's actually why i (impulsively, tbh) removed all of my followers recently.

i promise, i didn't do it emotionally. i did it calmly. but of course, triggerred, still, lol.

i hate it when i feel hostile—hostility is one of the worst. but i'm aware that it came because i feel lonely, alone, that is. afraid of being abandoned. but hating everything and everyone in a blink of an eye just doesn't make sense. it is temporary, i know, but you know it feels real. the hatred. the darkness eating me up. of course i won't let it consume me. but well, you know what made me feel better?

removing all of my followers. not because i hate them.

i sent out a message on my main account telling my close friends that i "refreshed" my account, and i would welcome them back if they would like to reconnect with me via said account.

seeing the ones who really care hit the follow button once again relieved me. and i know i'll be alright even though no one would re-follow me; i was training myself not to get attached to anything or looking for validation or affection or attention or anything from nobody but myself.

yes, i know i do need other people. i really do. i, too, need affection and attention. it's just so confusing for me right now.

i do realize and i feel the urge to train myself, my mind, my heart, my mindset, my body, to be better. i need to train. but you know how hard it is to cope without support... not that i don't have any.

at this point, i'm really thinking hard to get myself back to therapy and starting to join communities, support groups, so that i'd have someone to talk to on times like this.

someone that is ready to listen to me.

i'm starting to refuse to talk to my relatives, thinking that they might not be ready to hear me out, or tired of the same shit i come up with, or whatever. yea, i know, i know, speculations and assumptions. but hey, i've had my traumas and those things happened. i don't know anymore.

well, i might feel better by talking to those who actually understand my struggles anyway, right?

honestly, it means a lot to me once my closest friends and family show their support and actually listen and understand what i have to say, what i have to go through. it means A LOT.

but well, you know how i always feel so worthless and how i am a burden to everyone and so on, and so on, and so i don't want to pull anyone towards my blackhole anymore.

it's hard, at least for me, right now. i'm sad, and tired, and lonely, and i just want to die. somehow i think the ones who are hoping to die really soon like me, might live way longer than expected. i think i really gotta suffer. maybe the universe wants to see me win. or... maybe they just want me to get some lesson, or be the lesson. who knows. i might die tomorrow anyway and still, no one would know lol.

but i might survive the night again tonight, i don't know. i just don't feel so good, but at this point, i think that's just the way it is.

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bpdepressing · 7 years

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bpd protip: when ur bpd ass needs validation and support and affection don't be friends with scorpios all u get is disappointment and sadness and emotionally drained bc they don't return any emotional labor at all

#:))) I'm so tired I love my friend but like I just get so low every time we interact #like she doesn't return any emotional labor #I'm just so tired and sad like I need validation and affection and support and she does not do that #mod k #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline

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fortunatelylori · 5 years

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I love Jon and Sansa's not so sibling relationship and I love Theon and Yara's sibling relationship. I'm sure there are connections between the two. Can you list the ways in which they are foils? Thank you!

Hey, nonnie!

Sorry for taking so long to answer this. I’ve had to spend some time thinking about how I was going to tackle it because I’m not sure I’m quite the right person to answer this question.

My main issue is that I don’t particularly like Yara as a character and I’m not all together happy with the way the show has handled the Yara/Theon relationship.

So, please ignore me while I go on a rant about my issues with Yara and then I will go on to attempt to draw a few parallel/foil examples between Theon/Yara and Jonsa.

I have a pretty hard time talking about Yara because in theory she’s a great character: she looks and acts badass but is still emotional and invested in the well-being of the people she cares about, she’s funny and charming and Gemma Whelan is a wonderful actress who looks and acts the part. However, that’s the theory and the actress.

My problem with her is that in narrative terms, she’s very much a character that talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk. If this was an in-story flaw, I’d have no problems with it but it isn’t. This is the writers wanting to have a badass female character but also not wanting her to overpower the male characters in the show.

I’ll give you a few examples:

Yara coming to rescue Theon from Ramsay

I absolutely loved Yara standing up to her father, calling him a coward and saying she was going to save “her little brother”. However, she ends up at the Dreadfort and runs away the moment a shirtless man and his dogs scream at her. There was so much emotional build-up to that scene for it to fizzle out because the writers wanted to protect Ramsay not just from death, but from any significant injury/consequence.

Yara’s pitch for the Salt Throne

Since her introduction, Yara has been presented as the real reaver in this story. Tough, able, brave, knowledgeable, we were lead to believe people whole heartily supported her and even more importantly that she knew exactly how to talk to these people and what she needed to do for them. Then Yara makes her pitch as queen and all of a sudden not only do people point to Theon as a better option because he’s male (even though they scorned him when he first showed up on the Iron Islands) but end up very quickly turning on her and picking Euron, a guy they haven’t seen in years, over her. But that’s not even the most egregious thing. We could always chalk that up to male privilege.

The real issue is that when Yara makes her speech, she says very little of any real substance and then the moment she’s challenged, she becomes flustered. It’s up to Theon to make the salient points she should have made and then the writers give the truly revolutionary ideas to Euron who wants to develop and raise the Iron Born past the level of thugs they’ve been stuck in for centuries.

Euron’s attack on the Blackwater

Yara is supposed to be a battle hardened naval commander but Euron manages to surprise her and defeat her with little to no effort. I don’t have an issue with Yara losing the battle but the entire set-up shows her as being incompetent because not only didn’t she think there was a chance they’d get attacked, she didn’t take any precautions in the likelihood that it would happen.

Then there’s the Yara/Theon relationship and the two issues I have with that. :))) (Hang in there, nonnie! We’re almost done)

Yara’s sexuality and how that is used to shame Theon for not having a dick

Notice how almost all of the Yara/Theon scenes post-castration take place in brothels or situations where a woman is hitting on Yara? Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the show celebrating and highlighting Yara’s love for women. However, that’s not really what they’re doing. They’re essentially using those moments for cringe comedy and as humiliation for the fact that Theon’s not able to partake because … he doesn’t have a dick! Get it?!? Look how sad he is! Get it?!?

Nor is this the show trying to have a commentary on the issue of Theon’s castration trauma (which would be great but alas) but rather this is a narrative punishment/joke. And I don’t really appreciate that.

And then there’s this:

Yara: Listen to me. If you’re so broken that there’s no coming back, take a knife and cut your wrists. End it. But if you’re staying, Theon, I need you. We’re going to sail to Mereen. We’re going to make a pact with this dragon queen and we’re going to take back the Iron Islands. Are you with me?

If this was a singular case in this series, I would chalk it up to Yara being callous and ignorant about the profound and lasting effects torture and PTSD have on a person. But Brienne gave Jaime a similar “tough talk” when she disapproved of him being depressed over having lost his hand.

Brienne: Coward. One misfortune and you’re giving up? […] You have a taste of the real world, where people have important things taken from them and you whine and cry and quit. You sound like a bloody woman!

The message seems to be that all you need to get over trauma is a tough as nails badass woman screaming at you. Add some good ol’ fashion misogyny on top of it for good measure and you’re good to go.

Had your hand amputated? Stop “whining”! Still unsure how to get passed systematic torture and castration? Either put a band aid on it or kill yourself, we’ve got important shit to do. Can’t possibly waste any time on empathy, understanding and emotional support.

Again, I can’t really blame Yara or Brienne for that matter. This is the writers thinking that anyone who becomes a victim and doesn’t move past it as fast as humanly possible and also “toughens up”, is inherently weak. I hate that mindset and I hate the old “other people have it worse” argument. Yes, I’m sure other people have it worse. That is no reason to dismiss individual pain and how traumatic events in our lives affect us personally.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s look at a few instances where Theon/Yara act like foils to Jonsa. These will be broad because I don’t think these two relationships are set-up in opposition to each other, the way Jaime/Cersei and Jonsa are:

The relationship dynamic and roles

Yara and Theon are very much a relationship that operates under the clear hierarchy of big sister/little brother. This was established the moment Yara was revealed as his sister and continues to this day. In the beginning this was highlighted by Yara making fun of Theon, proving she’s better than him but also giving him heartfelt advice at Winterfell and bonding with him over having a shitty father. It was carried over into Yara protecting or rather trying to protect Theon.

Post-Ramsay, Yara is the leader that drags Theon after her. This inequality is further supported by Theon giving his claim to the Salt Throne in order to continue having a relationship with Yara. So in addition to being big sister/little brother, they’re also queen/right hand of the queen.

These established roles are completely missing from Jon and Sansa’s relationship and, in many ways, this is the true source of their disagreements and tension. What are they? Are they big brother/little sister? Are they true born/bastard? Are they King in the North/right hand to the king? None really fit … Jon doesn’t submit to Sansa’s authority and she doesn’t submit to his. The only way their relationship works is if they behave as equals. Anything less, I think would be unacceptable for either one of them.

Not only that, but rather than enforce an hierarchy, Jon and Sansa spend their time validating each other:

Jon: We’re standing here because of you. I’ve had the Lord’s chamber prepared for you.

Sansa: Mother and father’s room? You should have it.

Jon: I’m not a Stark.

Sansa: You are to me.

Sansa: You’re good at this, you know. Ruling.

Sansa: They respect you. They really do.

Jon: You know Tyrion better than any of us. What do you think?

Sansa: You’re abandoning your people. You’re abandoning your home.

Jon: I’m leaving both in good hands.

Sansa: Whose?

Jon: Yours. Until I return, the North is yours.

Arguments

Yara and Theon have a very typical sibling/relatives relationship. They say the most vile things to each other and then move on as if nothing happened because that’s how family works. (Yara does most of the saying in these quotes but you get my meaning)

Yara: Why! It’s the Prince of Winterfell!

Theon: Envy isn’t attractive.

Yara: You were a terrible baby, you know that? Bawling all the time. Never sleeping. And one night you just wouldn’t shut up. Screaming like a dying pig. I walked over to your crib. I looked down at you. I wanted to strangle you.

Yara: I’m tired of seeing you cower like a dog.

Yara: I need Theon. The real Theon Greyjoy. Not this rat shit pretender.

Jon and Sansa, on the other hand, can’t get away with saying things like this to one another. Their relationship just doesn’t allow for it. And it isn’t because they’re not close or because they aren’t comfortable with each other. But rather that whatever one of them says/does affects the other very deeply.

All through season 6, Sansa was in desperate need of validation from Jon. She takes it personally that he trusts Davos and Tormund and feels he prefers them to her. She gets angry that he didn’t specifically ask for her opinion prior to the battle.

There’s also this:

youtube

Jon: You sound like you admire her. [Cersei]

Sansa: I learned a great deal fromher.

Look at that scene and tell meSansa isn’t hurt that Jon thinks she admires Cersei or isn’t affected by hisdisapproval.

As well as:

Jon: And how should I be smarter?By listening to you?

And Jon …

Sansa: He plays with people. He’sfar better at it than you. He’s been doing it all his life.

Jon: Aye? And what have I beendoing all my life? Playing with broomsticks?!?

Jon: When you question my decisionsin front of the other lords and ladies, you undermine me.

Sansa: Jofferey never let anyonequestion his decisions. Do you think he was a good king?

Jon: Do you think I’m Jofferey?!?

Notice how nothing they say toone another or do to one another is as bad as Yara calling baby Theona “dying pig”. And yet they can’t handle it. Even something as Sam gentlyattacking Jon saying that he “hates” him after Jon admits to being enviousof Robb would probably not work. I mean can you imagine Jon’s face if Sansa,even jokingly, told him she hated him. She’d be better off sticking a knife inhis neck. It would probably hurt less. :)))

The sexual component

Even though I noted that thescenes of Yara enjoying her sex life is a ham fisted way of reminding theaudience of Theon’s lack of sexual organs, I think it’s important to note thatTheon isn’t affected by the idea of Yara either having sex or beingromantically involved with someone.

That’s the kind of lack ofworry that Jon “If you touch my sister, I’ll kill you myself” Snow andSansa “do you think he wants to marry her?!?” Stark would probablyenvy.

And on that note, one of themost interesting things that denotes the differences between these two is how thetwo relationships start:

Yara and Theon’s relationshipstarts on a shared horse ride to Pyke, where Theon fondles Yara’s breasts andprivate parts all the way there only to be horrified when he realizes she’s hissister. Since then, their relationship has been completely platonic and neitherone of them has ever given any indication that they’d like to revisit thatparticular incident.

Jon and Sansa, on the otherhand, start off as long lost siblings who very quickly end up enacting marriageceremonies (the cloak), having passionate fights in tents, lingering foreheadkisses and … (to be continued in season 8). :))))

#theon x yara #jonsa

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emeraldxmonarch · 7 years

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Hello :3 Your writing is beautiful !!^^ I hope I'm not rushing you, but how will the RFA+ Saeran & V react when they know that MC is depressed. Sorry if this topic makes you uncomfortable, of so then please ignore this ask! Take care ^^

(Hello!! I’m so so sorry it has taken me so so long to answer this! I truly do apologize from the bottom of my heart! I hope this fits what you wanted, and I’m sorry a few of them are shorter than the rest! I’ll be more than happy to rewrite anything! And thank you so so much for the request

note: I based MC’s depression symptoms off of symptoms I experience when I get a episode of depression. Please let me know if it isn’t what you wanted, or you feel it was portrayed wrongly. Everyone experiences depression differently, and I want to make that clear. There is no right or wrong way to experience it because every single experience is valid. Please know I’m always here to talk, if you need someone.)

Trigger warning: Mentions of depression!

RFA reacting to depression.

Yoosung

He didn’t really notice at first, since the signs were more subtle.

You took longer naps, ate less, spent less time on your phone, and in general, just became much.

He finally noticed, when he came into the bedroom, and saw you just blankly staring at the ceiling

“MC? What’s wrong?” He was definitely worried now.

You didn’t want to tell him at first, not wanting to burden him.

He just wanted to help you! He didn’t know what to do, all he saw, was the same thing that happened to Rika.

Those sad, blank episodes, that he still noticed too late.

But he didn’t want a repeat!

So he begged you to tell him, he begged you to tell him what you felt.

You couldn’t resist those big, sad eyes. This precious puppy omg

You told him everything.

From having depression, for a long time, to where you thought you were starting to heal, after meeting him and the RFA, to the sudden relapse.

You didn’t know what triggered you, you just woke up, with a sadness in your chest, and you didn’t know what to do.

He teared up, listening to you.

He threw his arms around you and squeezed you tight.

You both may not have all the answers right now, but he would definitely be there for you.

And he was.

Zen.

He first noticed when you missed two of his shows.

The first one he understood, maybe you were busy, or something important came up. He knew how supportive you were. He wouldn’t hold one miss against you.

When the second show came along, and you weren’t there, and there wasn’t a single word from you, thats when he got worried.

Were you losing interest in him? Were you getting bored with his shows? Was acting just no longer interesting to you?

So he decided to talk to you, hoping he was only overreacting.

With a knock to the bedroom door, he slowly walked in, “Princess…?”

He saw you curled up on the bed, underneath all of the comforters.

Was his princess sick?!

He went over to you, and gently tugged the blanket away, and saw your eyes that were just a little too bright.

Wait, why is his princess crying?!

Cue the Knight in Shining Armor!

“What happened Princess? Did someone hurt you?! Did some–”

You had to stop him before he got too riled up.

“N-No! Zen I’m okay….I’m just…I’m just a bit emotional…”

He was confused, emotional?

You hesitated, but you didn’t want to make him think something else or someone else was causing this.

So you opened up, about your depression.

You were just having a bad bout, and because of it, you ended up missing two of his shows.

You felt horrible about it, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to get out of bed.

He literally threw himself at you for a hug.

He refused to listen to any apologies!

But he was going to be your Knight in Shining Armor!

He would be there for it all, and never let you go through it alone! He might not have the cure all, but he would definitely try his best for his princess!

Jaehee

This poor baby was so busy with work, that she didn’t notice that you were a little MIA.

She just thought you might be tired, or fell asleep early because she came home so late from work.

But when she finally had some time in the afternoon to actually grab some lunch, she stopped by the house, and saw you curled up on the couch in tears.

“MC?!” She could see the shock on your face, as you quickly tried to wipe away the tears, but the area around you was covered in used tissues, showing that you had been crying for a while.

Activate Mama Jaehee.

“N-No I swear I can-”

She gently knelt by you, and saw the dark circles under your eyes, and paleness in your skin.

“MC….what’s going on…please…?”

You couldn’t do this to her, you saw the worry on her face, and it broke your heart.

“I….I’m sorry….I just….I feel so…so empty….and emotional and sad and tired and nothing all at once and I know it doesn’t….” you trailed off, unable to really explain how you felt.

Jaehee was smart, she could see those were some symptoms of depression.

“MC…I…I may not know everything there is to know about depression,” She couldn’t help but be grateful of the knowledge (at limited as it was), when she saw the relief on your face, because you didn’t have to keep pushing yourself to try and explain.

“But I do know….that…I can be there for you…that…it’s going to be hard, but I’ll help you…” She wasn’t sure of what to say, but she knew she needed to be there for you, like you were for her.

She took a few days off Cue Salty Jumin.

And did her best to try and take care of you.

Which included cuddles, coffee and a LOT of Zen’s musicals.

Jumin

He noticed immediately.

He saw that you were spending more and more time in the bedroom.

And at night, you had trouble falling asleep, or sometimes, slept too late into the day.

During mealtimes, you began to ate less and less, often barely touching your food.

At first, he thought maybe you didn’t have a taste for the food.

He talked to chef, trying to change the menu up.

Even then, you barely touching the food.

He was getting worried.

And he didn’t waste any time talking to you about it.

“MC? Kitten? Is there something wrong with the food? Is it not to your tastes anymore?”

He sat down in front of you, trying to get to what was really going on.

“No no…Jumin the food is just fine…I’m just not too hungry these days…it’s nothing to worry about”

Yeah no.

There was plenty to worry about.

He gently took your hands, and felt the slight coldness in your skin.

“Kitten, I want to take care of you in every aspect. If something isn’t to your liking, I want to fix it. Are you feeling sick? Should I call the doctor?”

He stood up, completely ready to have the doctor come in.

But you grabbed his arm, slightly worried, “Jumin I don’t need a doctor!”

You hesitated, but the last thing you wanted was this to escalate, so you decided to open up.

You wanted him to open up and talk, it was only fair if you did too.

You told him about your depression, and you told him that you were going through another bout, which is why you were eating so little and sleeping so much.

He wasn’t very familiar with handling such delicate and complicated emotions, but he was completely dedicated in trying to help you.

So he did.

With some encouragement, he got you to the best therapist, and was there for all of your appointments.

He did his best to try and surprise you with small presents.

But most of all, he made sure to remind you, how much he loved you and that he would always be there for you.

Seven

Seven is no stranger to depression.

So he immediately recognized the signs.

He had a suspicious feeling, when he was watching you through the CCTV.

But he was preoccupied with the bomb and the issue with the hacker.

But now that she was living with him.

He had the time to focus on her and what she was going through.

He didn’t think about it at first, because you seemed so happy with him.

But then it caught up to you.

Sleepless nights, missed meals, and showers that become more and more infrequent.

So he came up to you, while you were curled up in bed, and pulled you into a tight hug.

You jumped, surprised because you thought he was still working.

“I know it’s gonna be hard, but, I promise I won’t let you go through this alone”

He knew, in part, the words he said to you at the apartment, the harsh and cold words, still affected you.

So he knew, even more so, that it was his responsibility, to make things right, to make what he had done right.

He would help you, the way you always helped him.

He would be there to help you heal.

He ended up losing his sight, while you both were together.

Which made him much more attuned to his other senses.

So when you were locked in the bathroom, softly crying, he didn’t miss it.

“MC? Darling? What’s wrong?” He softly knocked on the door, and heard your surprised gasp.

“N-Nothing Jihyun! I accidentally put on some old makeup, so my eyes are just burning a bit”

He didn’t buy it, but he also didn’t want to force you into telling him.

He just wanted the absolute best for his darling angel.

“Darling….please….come out here…”

You hesitated, but slowly came out, and saw him standing in front of the door.

When he heard the door re-close, he slowly walked up to you, and gently cupped your face.

“Please…talk to me…” He held you close, held you lovingly, and you couldn’t hold it back.

You ended up crying into his chest, letting out everything you had been holding in.

At the end of it, he just held you even tighter to him.

He let Rika suffer, but he refused to let you suffer.

He would help you through this, and he did.

He made you tea or coffee, whatever you preferred that day, and while he wasn’t that used to maneuvering the stove quite yet, it wasn’t too difficult for him to make a small sandwich, or small ready made meals.

He made sure to take care of you and to never push you to talk. Healing happened gradually, and while he was a bit firm, in not letting you be alone, he knew when and where you had limits.

He made sure you were loved and cared for, always reminding you, that you would never be alone in this. Never.

Saeran

Neither of you would be alone again.

He was still very unstable with his emotions.

But, he knew the symptoms of depression like the back of his hand.

And he could see them clear as day with you.

Lack of eating, sleeping, and even personal hygiene on the worse days.

It was like looking into a mirror.

A mirror he wished he never saw.

So, on one of the rougher days, a day where you were curled up in your bed, with your favorite blanket and favorite stuffed bear, because it was just too hard to get up that morning.

He came inside.

Laid down next to you.

And wrapped his arms around you tightly.

You didn’t have the energy to fight him.

He wasn’t good with his words, because he couldn’t properly convey what he really felt sometimes.

So he hoped, this embrace, showed that you weren’t alone, that you didn’t have to suffer it alone.

You both laid there for hours, and eventually you turned so you could face him.

Neither of you said anything, but the promise was clear.

You would both help each other heal, no matter how long it took.

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