hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

"Nah, mate. I'm just chillin' under the table."

Oh? What's that? Ya'll want the next part of TSAU's story? Well fuck you you're getting this fucking thing instead.

so who's gonna feed me until i can't get up out of bed on my own 🥺

submitted for the spring basket contest 1 minute before the deadline holy hell my hands are sweating lol

i didn't plan on making this until i had a sudden idea this morning that i had to get out

it's a very quick and rough sketch but i had fun with it :)

and here's a low quality timelapse cause why not lol, i started with regular line sketching but then realized it would take too long so i opted for a silhouette technique i've been using for game sprites these past few months, and i'm glad i did! :)

Thinking about the Angel of Death Phantom in the Italy production.

Friend told me yesterday that I should draw fruity people

(sketch is under the line)

Happy birthday to the guy that's been rotisserie chicken rotating in my mind 2 years running <3 he should start paying rent.

random stuff from my game before it decided to crash

Another birthday = another meet the artist

looking at the 'midseason trailer' and seeing roman fighting his siblings, roman shitting on gerri, roman working for fascists, roman walking proudly through ATN like logan did just two days prior... it's not surprising, but it is fucking sad.

logan's death will not free roman. instead, it will reforge the chains he's worn all his life, casting them in iron -- that's what roman deserves for thinking, for the first time in his life, that maybe he wants the chains off. that's what roman deserves for killing his father by not loving him enough, by not loving him correctly or at the right times. logan's death will not free roman at all. if anything, it will imprison him.

(as always, this got very long, so keep reading under the cut!)

this was the worst case scenario for roman. not just logan dying, but the exact way everything played out. he betrayed his siblings, he fired gerri -- for nothing. he could have been on the plane with his father in his last moments -- he refused. his last interaction with his father was leaving logan a voice message that called him a cunt -- the first time roman has ever, ever, questioned or stood up to his father, and also the last. we don't know what killed logan. we probably never will. but god if it won't feel awfully coincidental to roman: the one time he fought back against his father or even showed the slightest hint of doing so, his father died. is it likely that logan heard roman's voice memo and keeled over because he called him a cunt? no. but is it just as possible as anything else? entirely. roman might have killed his dad. roman murdered logan when he could've been on the plane with him holding his hand, if he were a good son. he didn't even tell logan he loved him. not that he needed to, it fucking oozed from his every pore and the desperate nature of that love was one of the reasons logan could never quite stand him -- but that's not the point. roman's one attempt at agency, at setting boundaries, at standing up for himself killed his fucking father.

logan dying would never have been good for roman, at least in his current state, no matter how the actual death came to pass. people often talk about abusive relationships as if the end-all-be-all fixer to abuse is independence, and it's not. independence isn't always enough to heal, especially not when it's forced upon you rather than something you choose. this is especially true for roman, i think. what roman needed was not just to gain his own independence, but to realize that independence and love are not mutually exclusive, that gaining one does not mean losing the other. logan's always hammered in roman's weakness, his wrongness; roman was never someone who deserved to be loved on his own terms. roman's never considered himself to be someone with agency and authority in his relationships -- he's been told over and over again that he isn't a real person, that there's something deeply wrong and unfixable in him, and he believes it. he's never set boundaries with his father or even his siblings because i don't think he really realizes he has the power to do that. he's simply there until people decide they no longer have use for him or want him around, and he'll always come crawling back after a kick because he doesn't realize he's not on a leash -- that he doesn't need to be on a leash. independence has been unreachable all his life, he isn't normal or real enough to be a real normal independent capable person, but if he grovels and shows his use enough, then maybe he can be loved. but his dependence and loyalty is all he's good for. independence means no love, no family, no relationships. and roman desperately wants, needs, those relationships in a way that none of the other characters do (or at least can admit to) -- he wants his father in his life, no matter what; he wants his siblings in his life, no matter what. but independence, being his own person, separating himself from logan's side means he'd lose everything else, everyone else. he's not good for anything anyways. it's not like he has other options.

...until the start of season four. that's why this is all so tragic -- more than anyone else, it seemed like roman was on the road to healing. it seemed like he was finally realizing that independence and love might not be as mutually exclusive as he's been made to think: maybe he could be independent while still having a relationship with his siblings and even his father. maybe he could have his cake and eat it too. he's realized that he's capable, that he has his own worth, and that he can be successful without living under logan's thumb -- and, more importantly, could still text him on his birthday and try to rebuild a relationship, this time outside of business. outside of "that room" in waystar royco. an actual fucking family relationship. that's what escaping the cycle would look like for roman — not complete separation, not a metaphorical killing of his father, but the ability to live alongside him, to have a life outside of him, to love his father without living for him. so simply removing logan from the equation wouldn’t help roman, not when what he needs most is to realize that self-respect is not mutually exclusive with love, that being your own person isn’t a betrayal, that family and love aren’t dependent on how low you can kneel and won’t be whisked away the moment you stand up. and for the first time in his life, it seemed like he was on track to discovering this. maybe he and the siblings could have the hundred, logan could keep going with atn, and in a few years down the line they'd all get together to talk shop and joke around and coexist -- for the first time, he had started to think of himself as enough of a real, okay person to be allowed to coexist with his family, rather than naturally subordinating himself in every interaction.

roman could’ve been his own person, could’ve escaped the cycle, could’ve started a business with his siblings and tried to heal, but now he won’t. he can’t. roman can’t become his own person now, not when his first attempt to do so is exactly what killed logan. it’s his fault. he fucked up and now there’s no dad. he gained his independence, but at what cost? love. that’s the cost. it always has been and always will be. nothing could be more detrimental to roman roy than the exact series of events that occurred in this episode, because just as he started to see a world beyond his father, logan dies -- proving once and for all that the only world beyond logan is one without him in it at all. that’s been roman’s fear all along and why he’s stuck so close to his side: roman loves and loves and loves and is terrified, terrified, of death. of loss. but in a moment of 'weakness,' roman wobbled (he tried to stand up to logan rather than just taking the kicks as he's supposed to, as he always has), and his father paid the ultimate price. there’s no more dad. there’s no reviving him.

…unless, of course, there is. unless roman can undo his error by choosing his father again, and again, and again. becoming logan is the closest roman can get to resurrecting him, after all. and besides, doesn’t he owe it to dad after killing him? after calling him a cunt, choosing not to be with him on that plane he ended up dying on? after forgetting to even say “i love you dad” before the end? roman needs to fix things. needs to make it like dad's still here. needs to make it like he didn't kill his own father by refusing him for the first time in his life. so roman will be the firebreather logan wanted -- he'll do ATN, he'll push for mencken, he'll do whatever it fucking takes to try and make things right. if it's his fault logan's no longer here, then he needs to do everything he possibly can to fulfill his dying wishes, to do what logan would've done, were he alive.

"dad can't die, he's dad." he can't ever die. he's immortal, and his immortality was solidified by the circumstances of his death -- logan will not die. he’ll live on in roman, as roman.

roman will make sure of it.

let's take ibuprofen together

Context: Transporter Accident Species Swap Kathryn. C'mon. Patreon | Ko-fi

Episode where Janeway and Tuvok have their species swapped by an accident or entity and while everyone's figuring out how to undo it they expect Tuvok to be the one acting different but he's generally the same* meanwhile Janeway's newly Vulcan brain is terrorizing her with nightmares and violence 24/7. *He has trouble with his human body more than any emotions. Like, he keeps burning himself on things he'd normally touch without thinking. He can't stay up and stay focused as long as he normally would (two days straight) and he isn't as strong as he was before. Anyway, Janeway's sort of suffering with both. She has telepathic abilities that would be normal for a Vulcan of her age and this along with the intrusive thoughts and overwhelming emotion are...a lot. Tuvok: Have you tried meditating? Janeway: I'll rip your throat out. Sorry. Sorry. I've tried. Tuvok: Allow me to assist you. Janeway and Tuvok have a conversation about how she's not a bad person and Tuvok has to struggle with and control these sorts of intrusive, violent thoughts all the time. What makes someone a bad person? To what extent are someone's thoughts 'them'? What does a 'true self' mean? Basically Tuvok's like "These Human emotions have literally nothing on me" meanwhile Janeway's getting the shit kicked out of her - DAMN! These Vulcan emotions have hands! They also retain their personalities because they're still the same people. Janeway doesn't suddenly become stoic & logical and Tuvok doesn't suddenly become more outgoing. Tuvok also does not immediately turn into 100-year-old dust because it's a star trek episode and certain things are handwaved. In the end Janeway's like "Well that was absolute hell but in some ways it was interesting to get an up close and personal look into the Vulcan mind and I feel closer to my good friend Tuvok!" whereas Tuvok learned that he actually likes rum raisin ice cream. The B plot of this episode is that there's a certain light that keeps flickering in sickbay and everyone keeps passing off the task of fixing it so eventually the doc tries to fix it himself but he ends up causing a black out (which effects the A plot) and at the very end of the episode Harry's like "THERE. It's fixed."

A pawn in a more powerful man's game

I don't know what class about forgiving and forgetting some of y'all took but if you spent a week harassing me on Tumblr, I need you to know no amount of nice reviews on AO3/commissioned art in the aftermath will EVER convince me to forgive you OR forget what you did.

Special history lesson of Chelford

History shall always be splattered with the blood of the innocent, there is no doubt about it. Such is the same with all Twolegplaces, all with their own levels of innocent blood that stains their past, varying levels of intensity that may or may not follow the next generation of Twolegplace cats. In this post, we will be going over Chelford specifically, and more specifically than that, an event in which the cats have dubbed "Assault on Chelford", "The Clan Onslaught" or, more commonly, "The Raids of Twolegplace".

Warnings for: Lots of violence+death and kidnapping

Relations between Kittypets and Clan Cats pre-raids

The relationship between Kittypets and Clan Cats were as we normally see them as, not very positive. The clans believed that Kittypets were pampered infidels who would never amount to anything, while the Kittypets believed that the clans were overly violent, jingoistic, and militaristic, cats who would willingly attack a kitten if they were not of clan blood.

In the months that preceded the beginning of Winter, the clans had been struck with an epidemic of starvation, illness, and lack of edible food. This was especially alarming as this era marked a "Kitten Boom" period, where the kitten population of the clans was at its highest. During a gathering, the leader of Windclan at the time had delivered news that the visiting loners had arrived earlier than expected, but, they brought some advice and input to the clan's epidemic of illness and hunger. They offered up the idea of setting up a trade relation between Twolegplace and the clans.

Within a single second of this news, cats erupted into a frenzy of disapproving yowls and screeches, the leaders of the other clans giving the Windclan leader grimaces of disgust at the thought. Riverclan's leader intervened, spitting at Windclan's leader that it's an act that only a heathen would commit, to stoop so low to the Kittypet's level, the other leaders nodded along in support of Riverclan's word. The Windclan leader was furious at the three leader's willingness to allow for their clans and future generations to die preventable deaths. Then, Shadowclan's medicine cat stood up and yowled their support of the Windclan leader's idea, and then Riverclan's medicine cat, and then Windclan's medicine cat, and Thunderclan's medicine cat, they all followed suit. The other leaders were baffled, attempting to shut down their medicine cat's yowls, but they continued. After a lot of arguments between not just the leaders+medicine cats, but also between warriors and deputies and apprentices alike, the medicine cats put their foot down, proclaiming that if they all don't want to wither away into skin and bones, then they would allow for this trade to proceed. After some back and forth, the other leaders hesitantly decided to support the trade proposition. The Windclan leader proclaimed that they and the other leaders, alongside their deputies and a medicine cat, would make their way towards Twolegplace to talk through with the Chelford cats and hopefully create a trade between the Kittypets and the Clan Cats.

And so, after preparing, they did just that. While the Kittypets were skeptical of the sudden "friendliness" of the Clan Cats, they gladly accepted, and the trade route between the two were created. The Kittypets offered up food, tools, and even medicine that was exclusive to their Housefolk's gardens, while the Clan Cats offered up their own tools and crafting items. Though, this peace could only last for so long until disaster struck.

The Inciting Incident

The incident that was the pathway to the raids wasn't just one specific event, it was multiple scattered ones that only strained relationships between Twolegplace and the clans more and more. Kittypets were having their goods stolen from them from clan cats, being brutally beaten and bloodied in the process, cats were being injured for petty trade affairs, clan cats were attacking Chelford cats for not accepting their deceptively low offers, but the straw that broke the camels back was when a Thunderclan trade patrol came back, most of them heavily injured and one of them dead.

Let's take a step back and go a little more in detail with Thunderclan's leader, OakStar. His rule was questioned and laughed at by the other clan leaders. They felt that his old age was slowly turning him more mellowed out and senile, his own cats started to believe that the fierce title that they held was slowly slipping out of their grasp. So, when one of his clan's patrols comes back from their trade run with many injured and one dead, this was his moment to prove his violent fury.

The Raids

OakStar spent many days and many weeks preparing his warriors and apprentices for this moment, and when the time came, they set out to Chelford in the dead of night, when Twolegplace was at it's most vulnerable. The crusade ravaged every corner of Chelford, screeches filled the air of the once calm streets, the first raid was the bloodiest, meant to weaken Chelford's forces, Kittypets and Strays alike. However, these cats did not go down without a vicious fight, some Thundeclan cats began to become overwhelmed by the sheer number and strength of them all. OakStar called out to his cats, claiming victory and calling for them to fall back.

The first raid mentioned was on cats who were out on the street, Strays looking for a nice spot to settle in for the night to Kittypets who wanted to sleep out in the fresh air. It was a slaughter. What used to be information that was unknown to Chelford Cats was that in the following raids… It wasn't only Thunderclan cats. The second large raid was conducted with the intention of now making Kittypets or Strays feel unsafe within their homes or structures. Clan cats would find any entry to wriggle through, a cracked open window, a hole in the wall that led to the inside, a door that wasn't closed all the way, anything. Attacking Kittypets in their homes was risky, as the noise would immediately alert their Housefolk, clan cats also found ways to sneak into animal rescue shelters and attack the cats living in there too, causing a massive calamity as cats scattered to avoid attack and dogs nearly ripping their way through their metal gates in the halls. This caused a panic among Housefolk/Twolegs in Chelford, many keeping their cats safe inside in hopes that they don't wake up to find their precious cat dead or injured. This made the third and final raid the most difficult of all.

The third raid is what some cats consider to be the most devastating, all of the blood shed, all of the death, some believed it never amounted to the surge of pain that many felt when their own kittens were taken from them by the clans. Kittypets were often used to having their kittens adopted away, but the Housefolk never tossed them to the side, they never snatched their screaming kittens with blood soaked paws, but the clan cats did. Many kittens who were stolen that day either died from preventable causes in the wild or grew up into xenophobic husks of what they used to be. And so, the clans ceased their raids, OakStar was praised for his "call to action" and battle strategy, but, Chelford was never the same.

Crystal and Pine

During these raids, many cats rose up as figureheads of hope and resilience, one such cat being an orange and white Kittypet named Crystal. Her husband was killed in the first raid which fueled her disliking towards clan cats. She was renowned for her strength and selflessness, going on record to have carried heavily injured cats on her back from the battle and into safer areas where they could rest and heal, all while she was pregnant herself. The cats of Chelford grew to know her as Crystal, the Glimmering Solider.

PineStar was a friend of Crystal, the two met when he was an apprentice, where she had saved him from a fox attacking him. PineStar, in his older years, arrived to Chelford to spend the rest of his days after leaving the clans. It was thanks to PineStar that many cats of Chelford were able to gain more knowledge of what predated the raids. His name was now Pine and he would be formally referred to as Pine, the Hopeful Escapee.

The Aftermath, aka, The Husk Era

Chelford was a disaster for the cats, many had horribly died, been taken away, or left homeless due to the unsafe feeling they grew of being in their own homes, terrified of a clan cat slithering their way through their window to kill them. This era was dubbed "The Husk Era" as Chelford was now but a bloody, hollow husk of what once was. Aggression rose during this era, cats were barely getting by with their scraps of rotting food, many were left to fend for themselves. All was lost to the cats of Chelford, hopes were low, Chelford was once a paradise to these cats, but now, it was a husk. Pine died before he could see significant change in Chelford, and Crystal grew too old and senile to be let out past her nest, two of the greatest cats that gave Twolegplace a glimmer of hope, gone. However, word spread of something that captivated the minds and ears of many…

A young, puny black cat who claimed to have defeated a dog.