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Oh, I can't wait for this!!!
#I'm a lot behind at the moment#but this is reason enough to catch up quickly!!!#Murdoch Mysteries#Murdoch Mysteries Season 17#Murdoch Mysteries Musical Episode#and it's always a joy to have the lovely Sharron Matthews pop up on my favourite shows!#(even if she did pop up on Murdoch Mysteries before playing a child's governess!)#Sharron Matthews#Lachlan Murdoch#Henry Higgins#Henry Hieronimus Higgins Newsome#Constable Higgins#Canadian Instagram#Canada Chronicles
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Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.
Don't do their work for them.
#red rambles#viva palestina#antizionism#i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites#i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine#as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel#and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT.#i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel#both from the inside and out#and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad#that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice'#if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it.#like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally#are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are#being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now#if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the#fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar#safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to#discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees?#i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.#there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue#and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.
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Wardrobe Woes
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Yes: there are people who read these comics who don't know much about mdzs. Several are my beloved and supportive friends B'*)#This comic in particular is one that I've been thinking about for a very long time and I'm so happy to finally be here!#I was trying to think about how to explain the social rules of the forehead ribbon and the reason lwj was so upset#and the metaphor of 'it's kind of like wwx accidently undoing lwj's bikini in front of a crowd.' came to mind.#of course there's a bit more to it than that but the point here is that - accident or not - it still embarrasses lwj#wwx doesn't get the entire context behind it (at the time. Now he *does* and it all makes a bit more sense)#But he knows he made lwj upset. He knows he doesn't want to put lwj in another embarrassing situation.#Not after all this. Not after everything. Not after realizing that his desire for friendship might be the kind of desire that ruins lan zha#Love the symbolism of the archery outfits being red during this moment of 'whoops only married couples can do that' moment.#What if we accidental proposed............accidental marriage....accidental kiss the bridegroom....accidental fall in love.#Guess we did inadvertently get the puffy sleeves and bikini outfits in the end.#wwx in an old timey bathing suit is so important to me. I'll die on this hill.#lwj's cute little box is inspired by @lazycranberrydoodles's cute fan art <3 I love it a lot
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ISABEL ASSUMING SUZY AND DIMITRI ARE DATING BC OF HOW SHE OPENS THE DOOR. DIMITRI BECOMING THE THIRD WHEEL TO THEIR TRAINWRECK. MR STARCHMAN ASSUMING ISABEL AND SUZY ARE ON A LITTLE DATE. SUZY STARCHMAN....MY FAVORITE PAGE EVERY DIMITRI IM SO SORRY
#paranatural#pnat spoilers#CHAPTER OF EVERYONE'S WEIRD DADS...HAPPY PRIDE MONTH#I'm so worried now though what's going to happenNN#but also the sunset??? TINY BLUSHING ISABEL + SUZY INTERACTION...#I was never expecting this from canon I thought this reveal would be a gut wrenching moment#Not a burning clown car with a sunset behind it#+ never expected suzy x isabel interaction to be...THISS. i LOVE THEM#the most normal girls of all time. isabel so darling here#BUT DOES THIS MEAN NEXT PAGE IS GOING TO HURT??#the scream into the horizon rlly suggests a POV swap though...zack does that a lot w#normal page transitions tho. crying screaming
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After very little research into the other writings of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Rose Wilder Lane, my hypothesis about the Little House authorship question is that the writing is mostly Rose's, but the heart is Laura's.
In Laura's newspaper columns, the parts that sound most like Little House mostly come from the extracts she shares from Rose's letters (incidentally, it's kind of adorable how proud she is of Rose: "My daughter's in France!", "My daughter's in Albania!", etc.) The prose of Old Home Town, Rose's inspired-by-my-childhood-home novel, has some of the same concise descriptive prose that I've come to associate with the Little House style (I could hear passages in the voice of the Little House audiobook narrator).
Yet the Little House soul is all over Laura's columns. She's fascinated by the simple tasks of life, believes in home and family and hard work, believes in holding onto the goodness of childhood and looking forward with hope toward the future. There's an optimism, almost a romanticism, about life. The children's series that bears her name clearly comes from the same woman.
Rose, by contrast, is much more pessimistic. When writing about childhood, she's almost cynical about the life of a small town. She highlights the dark stories underlying the wholesome exterior, is extremely sensitive to the pitfalls of the social scene around her. Part of the difference is that Rose is writing for adults, but there does seem to be an essential difference in the personality behind the pen, despite the stylistic similarities to Little House.
(At the risk of pop psychoanalyzing people long dead, Rose seems much more neurotic and introverted and sensitive than her mother. In her writings and in the books about her childhood in Missouri, she comes across as child of a fairly comfortable modern life, with all the modern anxieties, in contrast to a woman who grew up starving on the prairie and knows that there are much worse things to endure than small-town gossip).
It's not much of a thesis, but I'm just fascinated by the fact that the Little House series can share so many stylistic similarities with Rose's writings, yet feel so much more like Laura.
#little house#laura ingalls wilder#rose wilder lane#i did not finish old home town because it came uncomfortably close to deal-breaking swearing and i don't feel like dealing with that#but the book was interesting in its way#rose clearly has an agenda about women's rights#but in focusing so heavily on social justice it loses a lot of heart#if the mother is supposed to be based in any way on laura she's a bit harsh as a mother#though more open-minded than her neighbors#(always standing up for the gossiped-about women)#rose's stand-in (i'm going to assume it's a stand-in because cranford has trained me to assume#(that any first-person narrator in a book based on the author's childhood hometown is a self-insert)#kind of disappears into the background#and it's very tempting to consider how the woman who made her living as a ghostwriter disappeared behind others' stories#(also this book unfortunately seems to confirm that almanzo was a mason)#(sorry mom)#(seeing the freemason symbol on pa's grave was my most terrifying moment as a catholic little house fan)#(i'm pretty sure my mom threw holy water on it)#(took me a few years to get over that)#(now i've just accepted that american history is full of freemasons)#(and as long as she's not spouting anti-catholic propaganda her books are fair game)
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the thing about the joker
is that - well, even canonically, he’s not actually “insane.” in the most canonical version of his backstory (bc there are many conflicting incarnations, but this one is the touchstone for a lot of later canon), he was part of a street gang before falling into a vat of Nondescript Toxic Waste that damaged his melanin production and That’s It. he supposedly “lost his mind” after seeing his reflection, which is absurd on many levels. no. he’s not “insane.” what he is, is an angry white boy.
the thing about the joker is that he exults in his own uncontainability. He laughs, because all of gotham - all the world - is built to be his playground. the only lunatic thing about him is the lunacy of ~Society~, to borrow from the joker’s own playbook; the lunacy of the joker lies in the world that grants him power: in the inheritance of loss: in white privilege, and what it means for everyone else.
“to prove a point.” those were the joker’s exact words, when he shot and paralyzed Barbara Gordon. she asked why: he laughed. “to prove a point.”
because that’s all he ever does. he hurts people because he can. and because all the power in the world can’t save him from getting hurt - and isn’t that just peachy?
because the thing about the joker is that he can get hurt. he has been hurt. but he has so much more capacity to harm than to be harmed. he is immortal. he and he alone will never have to face the consequences of the hurt that he inflicts on other people.
so then: why not hurt them? misery loves company, after all.
the joker is the embodiment and end result of our own social system: the madness of the exception: the laughter of the white man: the imprecation to smile, as he kills you.
(no one ever says it, i find, but it’s still true: barbara deserves to kill him.)
and who, then, is the batman? if the joker is the yin to his yang? if they’re two sides of one irredeemable coin, if they represent the “balance” of an unjustifiable system - who is he if not another white man?
because he is. Bruce Wayne is a white boy born into unspeakable privilege and forced to endure suffering anyway; who copes with his suffering by taking it out on others; who copes with his suffering, not by taking advantage of the world as it is, but by attempting to reshape it. to make it in his own image - as if it isn’t already his, as if claiming it further will crush out the pain.
the batman is the benevolent oppressor to the joker’s malevolent one. he changes nothing, in the end. two privileged white boys with their own respective navel-gazing grudges - where, after all, lies the difference between benevolence and malevolence?
because they are not “chaos” and “order.” not really. They are laissez-faire laughter and law. Joker exults in the disease of the system, Batman seeks to treat its symptoms, but neither of them will ever change anything about the root cause. because they may have suffered the faults of this system, but they still benefit so much more from it as it exists. Uphold it or break it, neither of them wants to change the law.
but the law is only as good as the people it’s made to protect. and who does that law protect, really?
waylon jones is, in one issue, explicitly depicted as Black. between that and his skin disorder, there has never once been room for his character to be any more than a monster: king croc is, always, a character to be violated and brutalized, over and over and over and still - always - written as the villain. (he tried so hard to scrape out a place for himself, so many times, in so many incarnations, and each and every time he finds himself relegated once more to the sewers. he will never be anyone’s king. there is no place under the sun for people like him.)
victor fries only ever wanted to save his wife, and a capitalist mogul decided a few extra numbers on his eight-digit paycheck were more important than the people whose lives depended on that money. fries’ body was damaged to disability by that choice, left without the resources to find a cure for his wife, and he robbed banks because there was no other option available to him. we seem to have forgotten, or maybe never really understood, why that matters. why a desperate man trying to save his life and that of his loved ones under the crushing gears of capitalism is a villain, and the one who stops him is our hero. why, under the law batman upholds, a bank vault and a CEO’s hoard is worth more than a life.
poison ivy just wants to live, too. wants a life not defined by the devastation of her body, of the beings that exist as extensions of her, a life where green and growing things are not commodities to be plowed up and poisoned and destroyed for the sake of another man’s profit. these are villains; they are written as such. these are their motives.
who does batman fight for, really? who is our hero, this emblem of our law?
is he our hero? ours, the broken and bleeding members of the world he claims to protect?
who does the law protect, except him - him, and the joker?
#i'm having another Moment over batman friends#this is not a bruce wayne hate post#for the record. there is so much to be said in a bruce wayne hate post about child abuse and authorship and diversity of canon#but this isn't about bruce wayne. it isn't even really about the joker#i'm stuck on batman. batman as a story. batman as a myth#because the myths we tell and the threads that run consistently through them despite the multitude of tellers and times -#those say so much more than people give them credit for#who batman is - who his villains are - what those heroes and rogues represent? that *matters.* on a level wholly distinct from comic fandom#because one of the few things that remains true of batman across his many incarnations and authors and settings and media#is that: he stands for the law. (except for all the ways in which he breaks it.) his only role is to catch the criminals#when he loses control and begins dispensing Punishment he must be drawn back from the edge. because that is not Batman#Batman is Jim Gordon's only deputy. Batman is the myth of the Good Cop#and the joker? the joker is batman without the law#this too is one of the few strains that carry through nearly all tellings. the joker is never his opposite:#the joker is him without a direction. without restraint. without limits. without control#and these things say a lot about the world beyond batman. about the storytellers behind him. who - to them - is a hero? who is human?#and who is a monster? the joker is a monster because he is lawless. because he is ''mad.'' because he looks Wrong#bruce wayne is a hero because he is lawful. a dark hero because he walks very close to the line of that law - but lawful still#and what is that law? what law do these storytellers see fit to uphold? for which characters does that law do any good?#which characters explicitly harmed by that law are disposable? which are villains by birth?#the fact that someone made the creative decision to depict king croc as Black in a 2008 graphic novel wherein he went cannibal -#the fact that the issue where babs was assaulted and paralyzed was also the issue in which batman sat down and sympathized with the joker -#that all of these villains are neurodivergent or queer-coded or intersex or disabled or Disfigured or just plain not white -#it says a lot. not just about the comics; about the world in which so many writers have crafted this consistent narrative of heroic cruelty#the world that accepts these as our villains. these as our heroes. it says a lot. and it *matters.*#batman#dc comics#linden writes an essay#linden's originals#linden in the tags
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because twitter's seen it already, I feel the need to share that keeve made a habit of resting her hand on terec's shoulder when either needed support
(IDs in alt)
#tagging#terekeeve#because I kind of want to get this ship tag rolling#also I want to disclaim that the art team does draw casual touch a lot but keeve does this specific mannerism a few times#and usually the touch is in distress or danger. in the first two keeve leaves her hand on their shoulder even after it's not immediate#there's other stuff like keeve and terec partnering up on later missions and them being the first of the twins she recognizes correctly#(and if I'm interpreting it right she could've joked that she learned to recognize them from behind but it could also be their voice/manner#(unclear due to Keeve getting cut off)#'we're enough. we were always enough'#anyway I don't think Cavan is making them canon but I definitely think he's setting up a close companionship between the two.#as good jedi and all#damn shame orla died though bc I would've paid to see keeve drop some innuendo about terec to her as revenge for the sskeer moment#star dorks#r: terekeeve
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Andrew Garfield on CBS Sunday Morning
#this interview was good if you watch it - the part where he talks about his mom is so poignant#andrew garfield#my gifs#and they're interviewing in the theatre where Rent debuted#so there's a lot of meaning there#there are some funny moments in it too#I just love this kind of video#where he is most himself#his roles are very compelling but I'm most interested in the person behind them#seeing these glimpses warms my mushy little heart#because he is undeniably physically stunning#but he's so sweet and thoughtful and smart and in touch with his emotions#and that's what really compels me about him#it's no one things it's all of them together#and I think seeing a glimpse of that in No Way Home is what made me like him so#let me love him please#also 12/10 would touch his hair here#gooooooood
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#CONFLICTING FEELINGS EVERYONE MUST HEAR HI#Sooo I have a li'l crush on this girl in my chemistry class and today was the last day of class so I was like 😤 last shot#And I have only talked to her once or twice before in passing I'm soooo some guy to her#But last week or so I complimented her jacket bc she always has a cool jacket!!#And today I was behind her in line for Smthn so I complimented it again but I think it was the same one#It's all an excuse (we know this)#Anyways FINALLY got her Instagram#But I do not think she is interested at all#The way I was LITERALLY SHAKING LIKE A PUPPY asking her 😭😭😭😭😭 GIRL#Rizzless#Anyways I think I will accept my fate but life is abt going out on a limb#It's been AGES AGES AGES since I've had a little crush and none of them ever work out#But maybe that's just on me 😐#Void talks#We did a little chat!!! Abt cooking and idk she's like very cool n funny and nice and I wa spike WAAAAAAAH#^ insert that into after in line/ before instagram part I can't move this around 😭#I ACTUALLY CHATTED I didn't just ask someone for their Instagram 😭 (which is valid)#I'm soooo not smooth I was soooo like biggest wettest puppy energy in that moment 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#Life is about living and learning and loving tho so it'll be ok 😐#I have a lot of love in my heart and someone needs to recognize this before I explode 😐
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⚠️ spoilers for some year 3 + 4 dialogue with gustafa's child below! ⚠️
[ some of the text in the second image is cut off, the full dialogue is likely meant to be "hold on a second. has gustafa been riding your coattails this whole time?" ]
no, because why is bea so brutal towards gustafa oh my god?? like you're really just gonna ask that question when he's within earshot??? 😭😭😭
#rock 🤝 gustafa <- designated sugarbaby in their relationship#does she talk like this about matt or gordy too or???#funny ha ha's aside i do think teen bea continuing to talk about gustafa like that would probably lead to them having a fight w/ tris#tris loves gustafa a lot and really respects his passion for music so they're more than happy to provide for him and let him focus on that#so bea's phrasing would probably agitate them in the moment and the situation would steamroll from there#(ya'll know how spats between parents and teenagers can go. 😓)#i can imagine gustafa coming home to see bea slamming the front door behind her and storming off#and then finding tris (who he's rarely seem actually angry before) fuming in their bedroom and starts putting the peices together#tris definitely apologizes to bea for getting angry with her after calming down and talking it out a bit with gustafa#they eventually talk it out together after bea has some time to herself and starts to understand her parents' relationship dynamic more#(it's hardly a one-sided transaction since gustafa keeps tris grounded and makes sure they're not running themself ragged w/ their work.)#maybe it also leads to bea being more curious about what gustafa exactly does as a musician so she starts asking him about it more 🤔#okay i'm gonna stop rambling in the tags i'm sorry i keep doing this ha ha#i just have a lot of thoughts about these guys and i have to get it out aaaa#story of seasons#bokujou monogatari#a wonderful life#sos gustafa#gustafa (awl)#oc : tris beckenbauer#chara : bea lantos-beckenbauer#🕹 : gamer time#mj.txt#awl spoilers
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there is no fucking way that tom king's shitty oneshot, featuring the most out-of-character riddler known to man and a batman who breaks his no kill rule and waterboards people, got nominated for an eisner award...
#i hate the riddler issue of one bad day so much it's unreal#1. why write a riddler comic if you're gonna be like 'actually he HATES riddles and puzzles and won't be using them anymore'#now he's just some guy who kills people#2. i don't think i need to explain why i hate the concept of batman breaking the no kill rule or waterboarding people#3. trying to make the killing joke relevant again after 30 years? to say that ed was the mastermind behind it?#4. the plot is just. incredibly silly and not in a good way like you're telling me once the riddler stops using riddles he#becomes powerful enough to take over the entire city and batman can't do anything about it except kill him?#and i'm not talking taking over the city like in zero year where there was an actual plan#in one bad day everyone just gets sooo scared of him and his massive brain that they fall in line#5. that is not his fucking backstory#that's like. the complete opposite of it. keeping only the part about him having a shitty dad#he was never a prestigious prep school kid under immense pressure to be the smartest#he was just some kid who went unnoticed by everyone and that's why winning that puzzle contest was so important to him#and then his dad refused to believe he was smart enough to win the contest without cheating and you know the rest#he has a very ordinary backstory that explains a lot about him#meanwhile i feel like tom king was like 'oh shit this series is called one bad day'#'i need to give ed a pivotal moment in his life that made him fucked up and evil'#'how bout i write all this stuff leading up to him brutally killing his teacher at the age of like 15'#and it just sucked ass#i feel like there was more stuff i hated that i'm forgetting but i am not gonna re-read this comic to remember! at least the art was good#oopsie daisy these tags turned out to be much longer than i was expecting - i don't even care about the eisner awards i just saw the#category pop up on the library app that i use and i was like Why is This in here#ransom.txt
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more.
He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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oh my GOD I have a performance review tuesday I hate performance reviews
#I personally think I work well but as SOON as the performance reviews come in I'm questioning every single thing I've ever done#it's moments like these where I'm like is my self esteem as good as I once thought?#performance reviews are the third layer of hell#personal#if he's not like you're a perfect angel you're the hottest and funniest and smartest person here#you've never done anything wrong ever I'm KILLING myself#If ... very often stop work a lot sooner than I should just to stay sane lmao#I cant sit behind a deks 9 and a half hours a day#but now I gotta send my boss a late email like six-ish so there's evidence i stay in late#honestly I'm not too worried about it#I make some mistakes every once in a while but I do more work in one day than he does in a week
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@zenjestrr: is Rakha gonna slurp the worms
zenjestrr: *drops a wriggling creature into her eyeball* this will fix me
blackjackkent: rofl
blackjackkent: I suspect possibly yes.
zenjestrr: 🦑🦑🦑🐛🐛🐛🎺🎺🎺
blackjackkent: Lae'zel doesn't like them and Lae'zel is like 90% of her impulse control, but they also potentially Have Answers
zenjestrr: will she go for the Super Worm in Act 3 or are you gonna play it by ear
zenjestrr: (embrace the power)
zenjestrr: (there's no downside)
zenjestrr: (other than looking like you took evil crack cocaine)
blackjackkent: XD
blackjackkent: I'm going to play it by ear.
blackjackkent: I can't even begin to predict what Rakha will be like by act 3
zenjestrr: lol i get it
blackjackkent: she's already evolving a bunch. she's practically a worm herself with how slippery her characterization is to get a grip on XD
zenjestrr: will you side with Baldy Boi or go Orpheus
zenjestrr: and if Orpheus again will you see how the ending changes if he stays gith or will you drop that hot potato on his lap again lol
blackjackkent: I have a sneaking suspicion the Emperor is going to die the moment Rakha learns what he is
zenjestrr: you know that's a game over, right lol
zenjestrr: like you CAN kill him at that moment but it's a game over
blackjackkent: oh really? lol
zenjestrr: yea
blackjackkent: well then :P
blackjackkent: she will spend the whole time WANTING to kill him :P
zenjestrr: Balduran is correct in saying that he never explicitly lies to you
zenjestrr: he is the only reason you haven't turned
blackjackkent: [nods]
blackjackkent: makes sense
blackjackkent: Orpheus I'm not sure about. Rakha has REALLY strong respect for Lae'zel tho so probably he will remain gith. which I guess means Rakha takes the worm herself?
zenjestrr: or have Karlach do it if you bring her with you
blackjackkent: yeah
blackjackkent: hrmdehrm.
zenjestrr: but yea I think squid x Wyll makes for a cool ending, especially since you can still do the Avernus roadtrip
blackjackkent: eeenteresting.
zenjestrr: I thiiiiink Lae'zel is the only one who breaks up with you if you go squid mode but I think maybe Ascended Astarion also does it
blackjackkent: no spoilers obvi, just thinking out loud, but I imagine it plays interestingly with the Durge situation too. illithid seem very chill. maybe settles the chaos a bit.
zenjestrr: [REDACTED]
blackjackkent: hehehe
zenjestrr: squid x Wyll also has the monster loving dynamic. Wyll is a devil now and has some self-hatred about it and Rakha (in this hypothetical scenario) would be a mind flayer, a monster, and might have some self-hatred about it
zenjestrr: Shrek ass ending
zenjestrr: both people seeing past the physical and loving the person
blackjackkent: truuuu
blackjackkent: bro your mind
zenjestrr: also if you go on the Avernus field trip there's PLENTY of brains for you to snack on
blackjackkent: truuuuuuuuuuuu
blackjackkent: ALSO
blackjackkent: fundamental climax of everything she sees in Wyll that she does not see in herself
blackjackkent: the self sacrifice
zenjestrr: ye
blackjackkent: wahhhhh feelings.
blackjackkent: OK I'm actually quite jazzed about this now haha
#bjk plays bg3 durge#rakha the dark urge#chat moments with...#zenjestrr#bg3 spoilers#lots of interesting food for thought here#rakha liveblog behind the scenes director's cut info ;)#it's gonna be good to get out of the opening and into the real meat of the game story#i'm excited to see where rakha ends up going
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☎️🎲 🤼♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️
Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
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Special Features
Split shades of Mike's heart
*Busts door open* Okay. What the hell?
Shadow Will (not even the half of it)
#byler#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#mike wheeler#mike's pov#this is the most hilariously epically painfully ironically horrendously mike monologue coded song i came across in my search#will: turn around#mike: *babbles about his insecurities and his feelings*#will: bitch turn around#'your love is a like a shadow on me all of the time'#*will always standing behind mike in the most fucking incriminating moments*#'i don't know what to do and i'm always in the dark*#this reminds me of the lighting on mike's face during his s2 monologue being half in the dark half in the light#this actually happens a lot with him in big moments#there's a whole post about it (link in special features)#but then again in his s4 monologue (striking bootleg resemblence to his s2 monologu) the lighting is now the opposite...#the lighting in surfer boy is also choppy/uncertain#but whenever he looks at will specifically in the van/at hoppers cabin everything is bright and in focus#'bright eyes' literally#'once upon a time there was light in my life now there's only love in the dark'#how mike felt in the van scene looking at will and listening to his words versus how mike feels when he has to tell el he loved her in sb#'theres nothing i can do-- a total eclipse of the heart'#sad but mike really had no other option in this situation#'FOREVER'S GONNA START TONIGHT'#it's giving this is the day but for real this time bc there's no going back after this#even though mike follows through with his monologue#what follows after makes it pretty clear el doesn't actually need him#which is why this moment is a catalyst for mike's shift in focusing on will again wholeheartedly#the world is ending after all... gotta follow through with the crazy together prophecy
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Daily Log 3
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Not too much, stomach kind of upset today and my chest muscle aches/shoulders/etc. are still too irritated for like typing a lot or anything.. grr... At least it was less hot than yesterday, still not feeling great symptoms wise though.
Worked on painting the tapestry thing and getting more of the basic design down. Still don't have the Avirrekava text fully translated.
Recorded another sims episode for the let's play series on my games/side youtube channel because I just realized that I definitely won't be able to in the summer since it gets so hot in my apartment that my computer runs hotter too and I can't even play games lol, so I should get a few recordings out of the way as a backlog before it gets warm. I'm always so caught in the bliss of winter (favorite season, best season, ultimate season) that summer kind of sneaks up on me and I have a moment of realization like "OH gOds I only have like one month to get a bunch of things done that are way harder for me to do in the heat!!'' , and then scramble lol..
Wrote down a script for calling a few doctors.
Thought more about the religions and other cultural systems that exist in certain elven cities in the south, where the story I mentioned in the first Daily Log takes place. Drew the basic sketch of an outfit for one of their primary religious figures (kind of like priest robes?).
Put together a load of clothes but didn't actually wash them because by that point I didn't feel good, but at least I have them out for tomorrow lol.. hashtag ultimate productivity win
Notable sights: Found 19 four leaf clovers and 1 six leaf clover that's actually kind of a double clover? Like there's a clear spot on the stem where it's two 3 leaf clovers not entirely all the way merged. Saw 4 cats in windows, one cat actually outside roaming, and a rabbit in a tennis field. There was also a pile of rocks outside that was very nice, resisted the urge to pick one up and take it home for my rock collection. Watching a show about tudor monastery farms and there was a sheep on there that looked round and funny.
Goals moving forward: Same as yesterday basically lol.. especially post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks (I thought I would get it done today, but alas.. I don't even have to do much, just proofread and post it, I just keep having no energy/being preoccupied with other things/hurts to be on computer.. grrr.. I want to continue the story >:T.. for the second day in a row, nothing has changed lol..).
Notable foods: Not much of interest, but had salmon, my favorite fish. Also had a chia seed fruit snack sort of thing which was in a squeezy pouch, and I love anything in that sort of packaging so, very fun.
Really craving spicy udon, chicken wings for some reason (which I don't even like that much), and something like lasagna?? I'm probably vitamin deficient again from my weird diet and it's making me yearn for hearty savory foods.. evil... chronic anemia cravings lol..
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#It's clover finding season apparently#so many good patches of clovers with lots of mutuation in them. Most of the 19 I found today were right next to each other spread among jus#t a few groupings of clovers. I think it runs genetically or something - so if you find one you're much more likely to find another#somewhere closeby. Or at least this is what I have found as someone who has like 150+ special clovers collected#I also really need to bleach my hair again before the summer but that's such a process...#I'll probably have to bleach it two more times to even get it light enough to dye it so. It's just like.. I wish I could have it done#all at once. I think anything that has to be done over multiple days makes me able to put it off more in my mind.#Actually just so so so so many things to do and it always feels like no time to do them..... AUghhhhhGG *collapses to my knees#in the rain like a dramatic character in a movie. wisps of rain soaked hair cloaking my face as my fancy velvet cape billows#in the stormwinds behind me. after a few moments you realize I'm also eating a little square of cheese whilst I sob#but am trying to hide it behind the hair that is flopped in my face and fumbling bc my evil vampire claws are too long*#ANYWAY#daily log
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