Idk my beloveds but, it's on the mind so imma ramble about it. Possible hot take about the RPC under the cut.

If you've made it this far, hi ilu - but yes, sometimes it bugs me about how serious the community can be sometimes??? Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about content, triggers, anything that might affect a person's comfort in any way - that's all valid af, absolutely. But, like, the way folk feel like they have to present themselves, the fact that folk can be unfollowed after a short period of time if they haven't reached out or have become inactive (I'm not even talking about months either, but I've read on some blogs that I can be as little as a week), any rules punishing OCs (y'all know that really gets me irked), the sheer emphasis placed on graphics and formatting, and a few other things that have escaped my mind but chances are I'll remember later. Maybe I'm just showcasing the amount of time I've spent writing on and off on this site, but I don't remember things always being this way, and every now and then I wonder if this community is as inclusive and relaxed as it used to be. After all, many of us do what we do here as a form of escapism from real life, or as a way to channel our passion for a fandom and/or character, or for any number of reasons, and while I do agree that a certain etiquette has to be in place, I sometimes have to contemplate if it's been taken too far in one or two ways.

I have like an orange halo from the hair color but it's fine lol

pretty girl (who has clawed her way through multiple chest cavities)

h.otd is really the only fandom where you'll have people calling characters "narcissists" for making choices with their bodily autonomy that don't entirely align with what society demands of them

Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.

The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.

I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.

I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.

All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.

quick question. why is it that people will be silent readers and only speak up when they don't like something? like i just had someone leave a huge comment saying how they've been reading and then they got to a chapter that they didn't like (they hate reader pretty much) and went on for like 3 paragraphs about how annoying she is or something. like why is it never 'hey em im a silent reader but i LOVED this chapter' it's literally always some comment about what they don't like

So frustrating that memrise is apparently removing community courses for good soon. I've spent hundreds of hours creating courses, one of which has had over 1,000 users, and a few that are just for me, and I've spent thousands of hours studying there.

I've exported everything I'm studying or have studying to anki. But man, I've been here before (when smart.fm got rid of user courses like a decade ago), and anki just isn't it. It's fine for basic vocab, but I've stared at the instruction for how to put pictures/videos/audio back in for ages and still not getting it (will try later when brain not fried.) Adding new cards is more of a pain. Massive courses (which was a lot of my courses) which I often reviewed in parts are more of a pain too - I think there is a way to separate them out but I haven't figured it out yet either.

Especially frustrating because I've just been getting into using it more again after not for awhile - partly because it's basically the only place to study Slovenian, and partly because I'd been working on a course for my profession with the idea I'd use it to review for the rest of my career.

I think I'll edit my stance on shippers who have the same (romantic) f/os as me. basically I'm not interested in following them but I'm not against them following me, and with current mutuals who fit within that criteria, I'll just a) ignore the posts that focus on the ship(s) in question or y'know, use tag filtering.

hhh i've had like. no drive to work on any art or writing projects. ;n; my heart is still so invested in the stories and characters I've created, but the motivation to take those feelings and put it into some form of content is next to nil. i don't know why it's been like that but it's kinda sad :c

don't get me wrong - i'm happy with most of the things i've created lately, but it's also been this strange game of doubt and comparison going on in my head when it comes to actually sharing what I make. there are a lot of pieces of art and writing that i just haven't posted because i feel like it's not in a place where it's good enough for anyone other than myself. the idea of editing and actually finishing some projects so that i can make sense of them online is overwhelming even tho i would love to just... get some of those ideas out for anyone who might be interested in hearing about them, you know?

anyway. probably just need to let myself take some kind of break?? idk what that would really entail at this point tho. it's just been a weird mental state that I need to work out i guess.

in celebration of the fic ALMOST being done here's a piece of the scrapped outline from 2019 that still makes me laugh

If anyone has any pictures of Shoma and Yuma together from this Worlds, please share them. I love seeing them together.

THE WORLD JUST ENDED

i am a girly who is too embarrassed to post 400 words of something unfinished on Ao3 even though people post way worse and way less every day.

anyway here's this half-baked nonsense that i haven't yet satisfyingly continued nor have I started to write a proper intro to connect it to the other stuff I've written (and not posted)

///////////////////

Stars spattered the night sky like glitter on black silk. It made Shadow Kirby feel so much smaller than he already felt. Silver light brushed his cheeks and he couldn’t look away from it all. This. This was not the cheap imitation that the Mirror World emulated. This was true Star Light.

His kind came from those tiny specks. Born when one died and the universe simply wills them into existence. A part of him felt shame, knowing he did not truly come from one. But he could not deny the kinship he felt looking up at the stars, at thousands of huge balls of magic and energy. Waiting to be remade, reborn anew, as a being made to exist.

It was all untapped potential, desperate to be granted a chance at becoming something. His throat dried as a revelation came upon him, but a smile was pulled across his face. Shadow Kirby was the same as them, in those aspects. He existed for a purpose he could not understand, and so desperately he wanted to be moldless. To reshape and form himself into something new. For a purpose never realized by something like the humanly flawed Dimensional Mirror, which copied only what it could see. Shadow Kirby wanted to be something he couldn’t see- beyond the preconceptions of others. Something beyond comparison.

Shadow Kirby’s brows furrowed as he hung his head. Grimly he realized these thoughts could be wiped away by the Mirror itself. And in a sense it, too, changed his original purpose. In fact it likely changed him every day in so many ways that he couldn’t even notice. 

His hands curled into fists. He would never, ever be given that chance to be something beyond Kirby’s Shadow. His worse half.

Again he looked up at the stars. If he had no control over his own destiny, could he even change it? Was there even a point in trying? A part of him wanted to ask them what they would do with themselves if given the chance.

But they haven’t been granted this opportunity, and some of them never would be. A part of him felt like he should be grateful. By all means he should not exist but, by the accord of beings so much older than him, he was given a chance. He curled in on himself.

He hadn’t even tried to make something new of himself.

Why hadn’t he? Out of fear? That all of his efforts would be washed away in an instant?

… How could he know that it would be, if he’s never even tried.

Sometimes I wanna return to that Sherlock AU I started plotting like four years ago, where Sebastian is part of Lestrade's team and has just NO patience for Sherlock. He might get to the cabbie from A Study in Pink on ways different from Sherlock and when the cabbie tries his game on Sebastian he'd just arrest him and let the state attorneys figure out if and how he could be tried for the "murders". Which would of course draw Jim's attention, so they could eventually devolve into a Hannigram-esque dynamic...

.

'we will not survive that' well palestinians are not surviving now so like get it together gringa lol yall are so fucking bold

Did you read the part where I said I despise what Biden is doing?

Are you aware that I've already signed several petitions calling for ceasefire? No because I don't need to fucking brag about it on social media.

I'm assuming you're some random bitch starting up drama for no reason because if you were actually a follower here you'd see it's pretty fucking obvious I am dealing with massive depression right now and barely get out of my fucking bed to do anything besides drive my geriatric parents around, otherwise my ass would probably be at protests in San Francisco.

So yeah im not going to fucking apologize for saying that next year we need to vote for someone who's not going to kill the entire fucking planet.

If you are actually a follower of mine, you can see yourself out if you don't like what I'm saying. I unfollow people who I find I disagree with all the time.

What's hilarious actually is you were bold enough to go on anon and harass me about shit I put in tags that you could have easily ignored.