#I’ve never played pokemon in my life but that’s not stopping me from making a little creature ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Text
I made a new reference for my pokésona Aston + a shiny version since they were needing a touch up
#my art#art#digital art#procreate#procreate art#art ref#pokemon#pokesona#boltund#polteageist#yamper#sinistea#shiny pokemon#pokemon fusion#sona#aston#oc#artists on tumblr#I’ve never played pokemon in my life but that’s not stopping me from making a little creature ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
⚔️👒 Zolu Playlist 👒⚔️
28 songs
Full tracklist, selected lyrics, n writeup below cut
(Contains: The Happy Fits, PUFFY, Illuminati Hotties, Paramore, The Shins, The Orion Experience, Best Coast, Utada Hikaru, etc)
(+a couple songs absorbed from ao's zolu playlist)
1. The Shins - Simple Song
Mixed POV, Zoro being recruited by Luffy.
...
You sure must be strong
And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the Sun
//
My life in an upturned boat
Marooned on a cliff
You brought me a great big flood
And you gave me a lift
//
I know that things can really get rough
When you go it alone
Don't go thinking you gotta be tough
To bleed like a stone
Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical
As this little hole?
2. Slow Pulp - Cramps
Zoro POV, vibing with being a pirate, actually. realizing he's a lot like Luffy / they have a lot in common. Wants to protect his crew. Part of a family now. But also specifically drawn to Luffy, drawn along with Luffy. Has a nice confident, grungy, fighty vibe.
...
Be a better lover, I know that I'm a runner
Oh no, I think I've become her
There's nothing better than being the protector
Out of a routine, the only one I've ever seen
I wanna be a foolproof machine
There's nothing better, wanna be like Heather
I'll take anything
That you wanna give
But I want everything
Everything
3. PUFFY - Friends Forever
Mixed POV, perfectly in sync. friends forever. big adventuring vibe. facing the world together. slight nod to whiskey peak.
sidenote: it's really annoying to find this song on youtube without scooby doo noises playing over it (official music videos my beloathed...)
the "pokemon and their trainers" (...gijinkas) video is the best one for my region at least.
...
Just when I thought I had to make it alone
You were right there by my side
Making a stand holding my hand the way you do
There to remind me of a "me and you"
When I'm with you all my fear disappears
Like if I reach, I touch the sky
You've got my back, pick up my slack when I can't see
But nothing picks me up like knowing we'll be
Friends forever
Face whatever
Friends forever
Yay! we're never gonna be apart
You and me, we are so oddly the same
The way we think, the way we play
Right from the start, so off the charts, about this thing
But we didn't know at first that we were making
Friends forever
Bound together
Friends forever
Yeah! We'll always be there
Oh yes, there also can be times that get rough
And all that can be said is "sorry"
That we were wrong and said some meaningless stuff
And we'll go on together, through any nasty weather
Yeah
4. Illuminati Hotties - Sandwich Sharer
Luffy POV - flippant & happy vibe. but also visceral, grungy, fighty. kissing. sharing food. "you thought i was bleeding but that's just my spit!!".
...
Restarted kissing
You said "I'm dreaming"
I couldn't stop from laughing
Cause it's the realest thing I ever did
Taking our clothes off
Painting on rooftops
Sit back on shingles in the shade,
I bare my teeth at future fake outs we had coming
Drooling tomato sauce, to make it look legit
You thought i was bleeding but that's just my spit
Sandwich sharer
Unprepared for
What comes after this
Take the big half
I will bite back
What you won't finish
Until we're finished
5. The Happy Fits - Sailing
Zoro POV oops catching feelings for a friend
...
My body's achin'
My ship's left the shore
Your eyes are waiting
My knees on the floor
And it's been so long
Since I had a friend
And it's been so long
Why can't we just pretend?
And I feel your laughter
Your warm, open stare
And I'm chasing after
Somethin' that isn't there
6. The Pillow Queens - Favourite
idk just vibes "tell me i'm your favorite" + "i'm being so normal"
...
i’ve got no reason to be feeling like you’re mine
for the next four seasons let it die, let it die
i can’t help hoping that you think i’m really nice
want some brief hand holding on the sly, on the sly
hey you can say it, i’m your favourite
hey you can say it, i’m your favourite
7. The Beths - Warm Blood
Luffy POV - Zoro is warm and good feelings. Not "you make me feel protected", but "you are a raincoat". Feels very Luffy. "you really get me"
...
Nothing makes me feel like this
Nothing makes me feel like this
Nothing but you
Nothing but you
My head is hanging from the roof
I'm floating all about the room
Because of you
Because of you
I wanna bask in the rays of the way I feel right now
(Ooh oooh)
I wanna bask in the rays of the way I feel right now
(Ooh warming up my blood)
You are a raincoat, you are a zeppelin flight
You are a bonfire burning a three dog night
You are an isle of calm on a stormy sea
You really get, you really get
You really get me
I wanna be here when you call
Pick up the phone and I would fall in love with you
In love with you
8. MONKEY MAJIK - Around the World
Mixed POV. During timeskip. Counting down the days until we can see eachother again. We'll change the world, make it better, we're training to make that happen.
sidenote: the mixed eng/jpn version of this song is my favorite and the one i'm referring to here
...
Every night I look to the skies And wonder what we did
Always a naive point of view that breaks us in the end
If I could find the meaning of it all I’d take the chance
Maybe in time We’ll walk the mile and change it if we can
It’s now and always (How did we get this far,did we get this far now)
Always (We’re making a brand new start, just a brand new start now)
Always (Nothing will hold me down, never hold me down now)
Always (Wave goodbye to me!)
Around the world
新しいことに(with the power to)
Around the world
踏み出す力で(step forward to something new)
Around the world
世界は変わる(I'll change the world)
But don’t run away ’cause if it’s not OK!
I’ll change that world
Into something better honey!
9. Natalie Holmes - Hideout
Zoro POV, Luffy brings light to all those around him, reawakens ppls dreams and leads his crew in to a beautiful inspiring new life :')
...
Under the stars, out in the elements
If there's no room, there are no elephants
When you speak the waves are radiant
You've got a face that softens every muscle in my body
I’ve never needed all these things to feel whole
Something familiar in the love that you provide
(And now) I’ve got an empty hideout cause I don't need to hide now
The wind can blow out the candle, cause I'm certain I can't fall
You've got a face that softens
All of the glass I’ve trodden
Now I’ve got an empty hideout
I don’t need to hide now I don’t need to
Something in your love makes everything light up
We don’t say a word although we want to
Your heart was on the line now suddenly it’s mine
There’s something in your love
Something in your love
Something in your love, in you love
10. Daft Punk - Digital Love
just vibes. dreaming. dancing together. having fun.
...
Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
The kind of feeling I've waited so long
Don't stop, come a little closer
As we jam the rhythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right, you wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone
Ooh, I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true
Ooh, I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true
Why don't you play the game?
Why don't you play the game?
11. Mitski - Stay Soft
Mostly just like the bridge "open up your heart like the gates of helllll". But feels more like Zoro POV (thirsty). And touches a little the communication issues these two have
...
Fury, pure and silver
You grip it tight inside
Like a knife, it glints in your eye
It's why I've arrived, your sex god
Here to take you where
You need to go, to where the dark remembers you
Open up your heart
Like the gates of Hell
//
I am facedown on my bed
Still not quite awake yet
Thinking of you, I tuck my hand under my weight
Just tell me what you want to do
Tell me what you want to burn away
'Cause I could be your stoker
12. Air Traffic Controller - You Know Me
Mixed POV. You know me! Perfectly in tune.
...
You know me
You know everything about me now
My heart is in your hands, and you know you could break it
But wouldn't you rather make me sing like this?
You know me
I try to find some good in everything
Since you came along, somehow this got easy
'Cause all you wanna do is please me, my love
This could be a roller coaster
But we're gonna make the most of it
Whether on top, or we're going down, you know me
You know me (I know you)
And how I get when I'm uncomfortable
If I'm too hot, or cold
Tired, bored, or hungry
I'm fine when you're around me, boy
And you know me
I've never been on time for anything
I do apologize, I know it's such a bother
I promise to try harder for you, girl, oh I will
13. The Orion Experience - Honeysuckle Kisses
Luffy POV. Desires filed away in a very Luffy way "All I want is all my wishes, and I've love to have your honeysuckle kisses". Romance as an afterthought to the great big adventure.
...
They say we're crazy, completely insane
I don't give a damn, I think we're fascinating
We keep it moving and riding this train
They can stop and stare
But I don't care
Oh, they just can't see who we are
You and I, yeah
We belong to the stars
No matter how they try
They won't tear us apart
All I want is all my wishes
And I'd love to have your honeysuckle kisses
All I need to fulfill my bliss is
Is your honeysuckle, honeysuckle kisses
That's what I want
14. The Happy Fits - Around and Around
Zoro POV, Pre-relationship, unsure about what's happening due to poor communication. Things are coming to a boiling point. And also "I could see the world with you" - be by your side forever, go on adventures. Do you want that? Do I? Will you have me?
...
I don't know what I'm seeing,
when the world keeps spinning around my eyes
I think I lost my meaning
Just another day to survive
And I can't keep thinking about it, keep thinking about it
Can't be still anymore
No, there's nothing so simple about it, nothing simple about it
Can't be still anymore
I can't be still anymore
I can't be still anymore
I'll go 'round and around
Go 'round and around with you
No, don't slow me down
No, don't slow me down, will you?
And I could see the world with you
And I could see the world with you
15. Paramore - Proof
Mixed POV, during timeskip. They're apart. Missing eachother. Believe in you, ride or die. So strong! They'll meet up again, even stronger than before.
...
It's really hard
I can't cry in your arms 'cause you're not here
It's not your fault, and if it was, I wouldn't care
My heart is bigger than the distance in between us
I know it 'cause I feel it beating
So strong, it'll knock you down
So strong, so strong
Over here
I can count the miles away from where I wanna be
I bet your skin is warm and that you're smiling
Yeah, that's what I always loved the most about you
So strong, come and knock me down
Hey!
Baby, if I'm half the man I say I am
If I'm a woman with no fear just like I claim I am
Then I'll believe in what you say
There's nothing left for you to do
The only proof that I need is you
16. Utada Hikaru - Chikai
(aka zolu "wedding" song. Primarily Zoro POV, making oaths, matching rings, liking someone so much it makes you feel uncool, waaaaaaauughhhhghgh😭)
...
I don’t know about fate
But this time
I have to accept that it exists
//
Today is a day without lies
It's a perfect day for making an eternal vow
Don't need pretty flowers or witnesses
Let’s wear rings of the same color
//
What I say now isn't borrowed words
It’s not a promise, it’s an oath
I can’t go back to being a liar
Let’s wear rings the color of the morning sun
Let’s dance with our hearts pounding
Let’s celebrate being alive in this moment
//
Kiss me once, kiss me twice
Give yourself to me
Let’s listen to sound of the sun rising, side by side
Let’s swear to live our lives together
17. Best Coast - When I'm with You
Mixed POV
...
The world is lazy
But you and me
We're just crazy
So, when I'm with you, I have fun
Yeah, when I'm with you, I have fun
//
I hate sleeping alone
18. Gerard Way - No Shows
Pre-relationship. Not wanting to be tied down, but also being drawn in to it anyway, idk.
...
Been weeks I been living
And your smiles are giving me
All types of treble
Weak knees I been given
And those nights are making me
Star-struck and metal
Stay free, don't go
'Cause we don't need no
Try to be living as your vice
And can you be my type?
'Cause we need to be given a good life
And can I be your type of metal?
Stay free, don't go
'Cause we don't need no shows
19. VUKOVI - Colour Me In
Mixed POV - Follow you anywhere, die for you, we're one together (you're mine you're mine you're mine!)
...
All I am
And even more
I'll give it to you
Couldn't count
All the ways
That I'd die for you
We are one
We are whole
And I'll go with you
Breathing out, breathing in
And I loved you again
//
Where you go, oh, I'll follow
Through our bodies in the dark
We want it and it's perfect
With you in my arms
Where you go, oh, I'll follow
Through our bodies in the dark
You're mine
You're mine
You're mine
Mine
20. Opus Orange - It's What I Do
Mixed POV - just vibes. I feel like it describes them but can't explain it
...
every time you look for me you know
i think i might disappear
every time i look for you i know
the bright lights interfere
‘cause i’m not the kind that’s so easy to find
when you’re looking for me
you’re not the kind with the salt water eyes
at the bottom of the sea
so take my hand
we are the blind leading the blind
no i don’t have a plan
so let’s go where the sea meets the sky
now we're gonna float away
everything i want to say to you
gets washed away downstream
everything i want to give to you
is a shade of blue or green
i’m not the kind to draw straight lines
in the desert sand
you’re not the kind with peace of mind
and a gun in your hand
21. Illuminati Hotties - Toasting
Primarily Luffy POV. Just vibes. Short and sweet, flippant and reckless. They cause descruction and just laugh it off, and move on.
...
Toasting a Pop-Tart
And thinking of you
There's a lot I'd rather do
Instead I'm biting my lip
And I'm biting yours too
'Til the blood tastes like chocolate goo
Our bodies
Are twirling
The kitchen is burning
When we both choke down the ashes
You mention you're bored
I guess I could've toasted more
22. The Happy Fits - Sweet Things
Mixed POV after the end of their journey, pirate king and worlds greatests swordsman continue sailing together forever
...
So tell me three things, three words that you know about me
I'll say, I'll say "won't you come with me, baby?"
Nothing lasts forever
It's only now or never
Tell me sweet things, sweet things that you know about me
I'll say, I'll say "won't you bury me, baby?
Underneath our loving forever"
Don't you take me, take me all the way and then erase me
I could be the one if you stay here
Underneath our loving forever
So take me home
Well you say that nothing matters
Well you said that nothing mattered except when I'm here with you
Does it feel right? (Does it feel right?)
23. The Black Keys - Go
Narrator POV - The two boys growing old sailing together
...
There comes a time, two hearts of gold
Leave together, run forever on the open road
They gotta go oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
They gotta go oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
In the winter time, when the day is long
You're halfway there, the field is bare
And the fire is gone
Are you all alone? Are you feeling cold?
Find your flame, call her name, and hit the road
24. PUFFY - Love so Pure
Mixed POV - love so sure. two people perfectly suited for eachother from the start. mutual trust. soulmates. :)
...
I was his from the momentthe we first met
From our solo to duet, it took no time
Call it fate
Or just two hearts magnetized
But I never felt so high
Since he's been all mine
We've got a love so pure, yes a love so sure
The kind of love you hold so tight
We've got a love so pure, yes a
Love so sure
The kind of love that lasts a girl for life!
With a kiss
I can't resist on turn away
All I want is him to stay, it's paradise
With out a word
Nothing heard me say so much
With a look or silent touch
I know we'll bе all right
25. Tegan and Sara - BWU
Mixed POV - don't need to follow conventions to prove their love.
...
I love you
I don't need a ring to
Prove that you're worthy
You're under my skin
It's easy
I don't need a lock to
Prove that you trust me
I walk the walk
To be with you
Just to be with you
Oh, to be with you
Just to be with you
Save your first and last dance for me
I don't need a white wedding
Save your first and last born for me
We don't need a white wedding
All the girls I loved before
Told me they signed up for more
Save your first and last chance for me
'Cause I don't want a white wedding
26. IRONTOM - Partners
Just what it says on the tin. They're partners. lol
...
Partners, we're partners
We're partners, we're partners
27. Ashley Eriksson - Arguably
Mixed POV - idk, vibes
...
Sometimes I wish I was talkin' to you
'Cause you know everybody that I do
You would hear my story, and you would agree
We are always right on, you and me
And you can always count on my company
On and on and on, endlessly
We're all loving creatures of the same decree
But we've got one up on them don't we?
Don't we?
Arguably, don't we?
28. Animal Collective - The Purple Bottle
Luffy POV. Frantic. Explosive big feelings. Can't stop talking --about Zoro to other people, and to Zoro about anything (sometimes i'm talkitive and you're not talkitive, I know...). And idk, the vibes. "purple" as a metaphor for sensuality, feels playful and lovely. But the end of this song really drags on so it's at the end of the playlist lol.
...
I've gotta big big big heart beat, yeah!
I think you are the sweetest thing
I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud
I've been having good days
Think we are the right age to start our own peculiar ways?
With good friendly homes
//
Sometimes you're quiet and sometimes I'm quiet,
(Hallelujah!)
Sometimes I'm talkative and sometimes you're not talkative, I know
//
And my dear dear dear Khalana
I talk too much about you
Their ears are getting tired of me singing all the night through
Lets just talk together
You and me and me and you
And if there's nothing much to say
Well, silence is a bore.
//
Can I tell you that you are the purple in me?
Can I call you just to hear you would you care?
When I saw you put your purple finger on me
There's a feeling in your bottle
Found your bottle, found your heart
Gives a feeling from your bottled little part
------
Aaaand that's all of it!
Thanks for reading :)
#zolu#luzo#playist#was able to finish formatting this quicker than expected#woooo#again not sequential or like only vaguely sequential at times#songs just kinda placed in to make it a pleasant-ish listening experience#obsessed obsessed w chikai#anyway i refuse to use spotify so my apologies
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hogwarts Legacy Incorrect Quotes Part 7 (feat. my Hufflepuff!MC, Ellie)
Zenobia: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do.
Ellie: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
Professor Garlick: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
Ominis: Three types of people.
***
[After summer break]
Ellie: *running towards Ominis with open arms*
Ominis: *moves out of the way*
Ellie: Hey, why'd you move?!
Ominis: I thought you were going to attack me.
Ellie: I was going to hug you!
Ominis: Why would you hug me?
Ellie: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
***
Lenora: Something tells me Ellie's going to be a bit more unhinged today...
Ellie, with armful of Chinese Chomping Cabbages: Leave me be, cousin Leander isn't here to stop me, I'm going feral.
[A few moments later]
Garreth, pointing a camera at Ellie: There she is, our precious cinnamon scone.
Ellie, leading her little army of cabbages and chasing Puffskein Dunkein: What-?
***
Imelda: Madam Kogawa asked me to tell you about your new assignment, but I think it might make you jump from Astronomy Tower again.
Ellie: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.
Imelda: You have to teach Ominis how to fly on a broom.
Ellie: ... put the band-aid back on.
***
Ellie: In Garreth's defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff even before I tried his latest concoction.
***
Ellie, in Headmaster's Office: I'll write Professor Black a friendly note. Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
***
Leander: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.
Ellie: Ok.
Leander: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?
***
[Beasts are like Pokemons, gonna catch them all]
Ellie: Hey, you want a tarot reading?
Duncan: Those are Beasts cards.
Ellie: You got a Golden Snidget.
Duncan: ...
Ellie: It means 'you're fucked'.
***
[Let's speculate on other games]
Ellie, setting down a card: Sorting Hat.
Amit, pulling out an Arithmancy card: +4.
Poppy, pulling out a Beasts card: Grindylow, I choose you!
Leander, trembling: What are we playing?!
***
Leander: Can we talk about that howlers you sent?
Amit: All it says is, "I'm back on my idiocy".
Ellie, shrugging: The people need to know.
***
Richard Jackdaw: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.
***
Leander: Ellie and I were at Summoner's Court, and Duncan flew by and shouted at us.
Ominis: What did she do?
Leander: She chased him to Ravenclaw tower, and broke into the Common Room, and-
Ellie: *dropping from above, casting Levioso on herself* Who wants a new broom seat?
***
Ellie: Garreth is a precious angel who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!
Leander: Never done anything wrong?! He set our dormitory on FIRE!
***
Ellie: Where is that blasted Daedalian key?
Amit: Ellie, Zenobia and Lucan are around, can you say it a little nicer?
Ellie: May I ascertain the whereabouts of the LAST BLASTED DAEDALIAN KEY?!
***
Ellie: Your potion station is in the bathroom?
Garreth: Leander says this is the perfect place for my work. I’m just now realizing that remark may not have been entirely complimentary.
***
[In Great Hall]
Garreth: Amit won't come from Astronomy Tower but I really need his help with homework.
Ellie, to Zenobia: Please, go to Amit and tell him I said something.
Zenobia: Like what?
Ellie: Anything factually incorrect.
Zenobia, shrugging: If you say so.
[A few moments later]
Amit: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?
***
[In Hogsmeade]
Ellie: We’re going to Honeydukes?!
Leander: No! It’s nighttime, Honeydukes is closed.
Garreth: We’re gonna ROB Honeydukes?!?!
Leander, sighing: No-
***
Ellie: Guess what?
Leander: What?
Ellie: No, you have to guess.
Leander, thinking: I don’t know.
Ellie: I've been to Azkaban.
Leander: Why would you make me guess that?!
Leander: What happened?!
***
Leander: Ellie just insisted I remember a code word in case I'm ever confronted by someone impersonating her under Polyjuice Potion and I'm not sure which is the real her and which is the imposter.
Leander: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.
***
Leander: *receives an owl* Oh! It’s Ellie.
Garreth, excitedly: Did she get me the stuff?
Leander: Yeah, she says she got you the Fwooper feathers, dried Billywig stings and 12 gallons of Troll blood.
Garreth: Wow! Where’d she find 12 gallons of fake Troll blood?
Leander: You wanted fake blood?
Garreth: ...
Leander: I’ll go write Ellie.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy incorrect quotes#garreth weasley#leander prewett#ominis gaunt#amit thakkar#zenobia noke#imelda reyes#duncan hobhouse#richard jackdaw
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
[i turn 20 this year and the aspect scares me]
[i turn 20 this year and what can i say for it? / all i have to my name is some shitty internet poems / and i can’t even show them half of where i’d like to / because my school will stop believing me that i’m not suicidal anymore / sometimes i look at the world and i stop believing me that i’m not suicidal anymore]
[i turn 20 this year and i’ve had half my hobbies ruined for me / my art teacher’s pitying smile will be behind my mind / no matter what i draw until i stop / and she’ll tell me all that should’ve made it stronger / and that i’m not portraying what i want to portray properly / and she’s the professional / she has the experience / so i’ll just scribble it out / and let the sketchbook gather dust for a month or two / i haven’t felt not guilty playing a game in years / because i see the way my dad smiles when he walks in on me playing one / and the shift in his voice when he speaks / and how i know he believes i’m wasting my time / and i believe i’m wasting my time / if i’m not doing something else too while it loads then the time’s a waste / if i don’t spend my time making something else then i’m a waste / if i don’t spend all my time doing something productive then i’m useless / if it doesn’t make me feel like a child again it might make me feel worse]
[i turn 20 this year and i’m still a child / i feel the same excitement and joy i did when i was 9 when i play a new pokemon game again / i just want to love my friends / and i don’t understand why some people feel hate by default / and i don’t understand why we hate our differences / and i don’t understand why they have to mean anything other than things we can admire about each other / and i don’t understand why everything has to have a price both capital and physical / and i miss the things i used to have / the games i used to play / and i miss the time i had to play with them / and i just want to have fun / i want to have the job i enjoy / the job i would daydream about in the shower / i still daydream in the shower]
[i turn 20 this year and i still have no clue who i am / another decade older and people still ask about my backup plan / and tell me my dream is going to be too hard / a decade older and i still dream about throwing half of it out to do something i haven’t done in a decade / i still fantasize about singing on a stage in a way i enjoy / but see the hobbies section: / i can’t sing anymore without fear / i am two decades old and still figuring myself out / who knew i liked geology like that? / who knew goth music was that cool? / who knew my ex’s imprints on me still keep me from seeing some people as anyone but them? / i turn my second decade old this year and i have no plans / this was a decade i never saw myself being / and as i tried to write “i still can’t see myself getting all the way through it” / i started crying / so i guess i hope i do]
[i turn 20 this year and i’m still living in the background of my own life / my headphones work to the brink of death because i’ll never let my music disturb someone else’s silence / i sit on the edge of the room because who wants this girl sitting and eating alone in the center of it all / i write a collection of poetry but it never goes anywhere but my desktop because who really cares about it / that age feels like i’m supposed to know so much, do so much, and yet i don’t / turning the big 2-0 and i have nothing to my name / no stories despite all i’ve written because it’s never good enough to go how far i want it to because who wants to read that / i don’t have a pop star’s voice but i want to sing like i do but who wants to hear that / my friend got published when we were in middle school / billie eilish is 22 and she was a hit at 17 / at 17 i was still getting tripped on the lacrosse field / and i was never enough then either / you could always be better sure but i never even hit that minimum criteria / at 17 my sister was modeling / at 17 i started to learn that i hated my stomach / at 18 i couldn’t look at pinterest for more than a few minutes at a time every month because those outfits would never fit me like them because i have too much of a stomach in comparison / at 19 i’m still struggling to stare myself in the eyes in the mirror and say “i love you, thank you for keeping me alive” / because there’s hair i didn’t know women would grow there and now i’m too nervous to wear bikinis / and i turn to the side and suck it in because wow, it really shows when i’m wearing gray or leggings / i’m a little more and a little less than a woman but i still shave underneath my chin twice a month because i hate the comments my dad and stepmom make about it / i got tan and thought it would hide the stretches on my thighs but they only got easier to see but i didn’t bring pants with me on vacation]
[i turn 20 this year and that’s a number that carries such weight / that’s not old at all, i know / the world is my oyster still but i don’t know what it is / that number isn’t me / i could never see myself as 20 / 21 as the oddball in the family who won’t celebrate it by getting drunk / 22 just to say it / 23 to maybe be in that band / 27 as the year i’ll never make it to / i hope i can say the same for 30 / but i hope by then i’m more important / i hope i’m not a cog in the machine but if i am i hope i have a name / turning twenty and i still can’t describe the way the songs i loop make me feel / i hope i’m maybe making music that makes someone feel that way / turning twenty and there are still poems that have stuck with me that i think about for no reason / i hope my words maybe stick that hard with someone else / turning twenty and i still think about my characters doing things to entertain myself to fall asleep / i hope maybe someone shuns their sleep to read the things i make them do to / turning twenty and maybe i’ll just be looking at cool rocks by then / that sounds fine to me too]
[i turn 20 this year and i started crying trying to write this poem / if you can really call all this that / and i don’t know where to go from here / but i’ve always dove in blind / so maybe i’ll turn around and close my eyes anyway to walk backwards over the edge / make it funny for someone else because that’s what i’ve always done]
[i turn 20 this year and i’m terrified and crying and surprised and wishing i could tell 17 year old me / “we got this far, at least, so there you have it / we’ll have to sit through this decade together and see if we make it again / in the meantime, congratulations / you turn 18 this year”]
— 2004
#first official poem of 2024 and it’s just me having a crisis#anyway hiiiii i’m back :)#the patron saint of asexual poets#poetry#poem#poems#original poems#original poetry#original poem#original writing#creative writing#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#lgbtq poem#lgbtq poetry#lgbtq poet#lgbtq poems
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Exile//Vilify, One Year Retrospective
Well folks, as of May 31st, 2023, it has officially been one whole year since the last update for Exile//Vilify was released, and it simultaneously feels like way longer than that and not very long at all. But, in celebration, I wanted to take some time to look back on my thoughts and ideas and processes that led up to the creation of this story, and share some appreciation for all that’s happened since then.
First of all, this book is massive, and it was way more massive than I thought it would be when I set off to write it. It is almost as long as Tolkein’s “Two Towers” and other similar novels—not what I was expecting when I went in to write an origin story about a character completely lacking in personality with no backstory. But if there is one thing I do, and do well, it is commit to the bit. And here, the bit was doing justice to a character I saw having so much potential but was, quite literally, doomed by the narrative, and built to be a throwaway character for a spinoff game consumed by his own hubris and never developed or mentioned again. And I thought to myself, “Man, that sucks! What would it be like to be him?” And the answer is: it would suck a lot, actually. But also in that vein, I still wanted to portray how his life was still a life worth living, and his story, one that was worth telling. Even if it is one that doesn’t “matter” to Nintendo or the LOZ franchise as a whole, even if it’s one I had to entirely make up grasping for straws, it is one that mattered to us. And that’s kind of the thesis of the entire book.
Many of you know I’m a Pokemon writer (hence username) and I never really intended to write in other fandoms, but I dont know what I expected. Something about this character just fucking gripped me, and I couldnt let myself stop until his story was out of me. But the thing is, I wasn’t super interactive within the Pokemon fandom. I had actually just ended a huge general life hiatus for mental health and had made a resolution to get back to what I love. The result of that was the completion of The Devil and the Dead Sea and the start of my hardenshipping series. But I just kind of dropped that book on AO3 when it was complete and then didnt interact with anyone. I wrote it and then uploaded it all at once, which didnt give me a lot of time or opportunity to develop a community and discuss updates. I had a few people who reached out, but nothing close to the type of community I’ve felt now.
I have been so full of love and blown away by the support I’ve received from this small but mighty niche in the community. So first of all, I just want to say thank you. I'm so glad that I could bring this story to life and so blessed to think of how many people it's touched. So now I just want to take a moment and look back on the book and how it started, what things changed, and where it's going and what's happening in the future.
Exile//Vilify's conception
youtube
Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?
The band, The National, has inspired I think all of my fics to this point. After playing Age of Calamity, Astor had been swimming around so much in my head, especially since so much of his mysteries were unanswered. And one day blorbo was on my brain in just the correct way at just the correct time when I happened to be listening to a completely unrelated song from Portal 2, Exile Vilify. The book, of course, has nothing to do with Portal, but on that particular day, the lyrics really spoke to me of Astor and his potential struggles, and I became fascinated with the idea of him and his ideological square-off against the king: a man who was so set on defying prophecy and the man who, well, prophesied it.
So Exile//Vilify was born, to me, actually in the concept of a butting of heads between King Rhoam and Astor. I saw the song lyrics as a dialogue between the two of them, mutual antagonistic (but also troubled) feelings shared between them. So King Rhoam was actually going to have a much bigger role in my original vision for Exile//Vilify. In fact there was a toss up in my mind between whether or not he'd have an odd homoerotic rivalry thing for the king, or his crush on the queen, but--
But the simple fact of the matter is I found Rhoam super unlikeable and sadly couldn't find a good way to get into his head in a way that would be sustainable for a novel. So while the concept is what initially gripped me, Exile//Vilify ended up going in a different direction, although the inception of that concept is definitely still there. The closest I've gotten to writing my desired dynamic between Astor and the King was in "Prophecies to Waterfowl," a one-shot in my short stories compilation Stories from Exile. ("Prophecies to Waterfowl," aside from "Voe and You," is my favorite of my stories in that compilation).
Other things that were cut/changed in the writing process
When I realized the fic was getting as massive as it was, I wanted to streamline its focus and decided to cut down on some plotlines. I could have just left it was it was, because fic writing is about being self-indulgent, but I want to challenge myself to be a better writer than that. (Not that there is anything wrong with just writing to be self-indulgent, but I use my fics as my place to practice and get better, so I need to.. actually practice).
One of the biggest things that was therefore cut was the relationship between Astor and Ganondorf, and the implications of Astor's past lives. How Astor became the one selected by Ganondorf. Because in the fic, it just ended up seeming random, which was intentional. Fate is merciless and random and does not pick and choose, while also picking and choosing.
There were going to be more Astor and Ganon dream scenes planned, and a plotline of Astor's "awakening" somewhere along the line where he unlocked visions of his past as a different kind of royal seer--the seer to Ganondorf. There are hints of this in the dreams, but nothing concrete.
Still, the idea of what "could be" still fascinates me, and I love the idea of exploring the idea of Astor as Ganondorf's reincarnated seer, and I have a one shot that I am currently working on that explores this very concept, and can be considered canon (or semi-canon) to Exile//Vilify. I hope to have that out... soon. Ish. Eventually. I have a lot cooking right now.
Other honorable mentions:
Astor was going to have more blatant romantic feelings for Rose.
Astor was going to have more blatant romantic (or complicated) feelings for Rhoam.
The contention between Ganondorf trying to push Astor into evil and Thelem agreeing to block Ganon from Astor in the meantime was also going to be explored more, but Ganondorf got his last laugh on that eventually.
Even more fucking Order of the Seers stuff (culture, rituals, etc)
Chapters of Astor stalking Link and Zelda leading up to the awakening of the Calamity
More Yiga scenes (my little teen Kohga gives me oxygen) and Astor building a cult following of people who worship Ganon
Astor having basically a weird prophetical drug addiction to the "high" of witnessing the Great Calamity in his visions (this is kind of implied in the book, but not expanded on)
All of these things, ultimately, were great ideas, and things I'd love to explore and maybe will some day if I'm ever inspired enough on any of them to write anything concrete. They were just things that slightly detracted from the story I wanted to tell. But that's why I keep Stories from Exile around.
So What's Next?
As I mentioned, I have a few things Exile//Vilify related still in the works. The first is that Astor/Ganondorf one shot I was talking about. (Likely going to be called "Prophet to a Gerudo King.") I also have a secret surprise fic commission that is also Astor/Ganondorf related and involves an AU and the Stories from Exile universe ;) (that one will hopefully be out soon).
I have a lot of things on my Stories from Exile list that were not out yet, and I may revisit them if I'm feeling or have the time. I'd love to keep updating that one every now and again, now that Exile//Vilify is complete, just to keep the world alive.
I also am planning on doing a limited, hard-cover release of Exile//Vilify to celebrate its publication. I have a great team of people who have been slowly helping me copyedit this massive beast so I can get it printed from a self-publishing company. It will not be publicly listed for sale, as it is illegal for me to sell or make money off of it. This hardcover will only be available to obtain for those who contact me on tumblr during a specific time frame. That time frame is not now. When I have a more clear set date for that, I will circulate posts. You will have to cover the cost of shipping and maybe some of the printing depending on what the cost is on my end, but the book will be free. It will likely be 500+ pages. It will likely happen by the end of the year.
That said, as the book nears being printed, if you would like to lend a hand proofreading, there is still time!! Please just DM me. You will have the option to be credited in the hardcover if you'd like.
And finally, you'll still be able to find me here, and updating in my other writing. I still really love receiving asks about this book, so please never be a stranger to my inbox. Sometimes I have more energy and power to reply than others, but every ask always makes my day.
I have planned "Trouble Will Find Me," which is a Thelem and Azelphir prequel that will detail some of the stuff that I didn't have time to develop about the Order of the Seers, and Thelem's origin story. This one I might just release all in one chunk - uncertain right now. At that point though... isn't that kind of just original fiction.... set in the BOTW world???? Unsure.
I'll also be returning to my Pokemon series, The Dead Sea Trilogy, if you have any interest in that fandom or my other writing.
That's all I have for you! Thank you all so much for an amazing year (really more than that, since I've been posting about this big honkin' thing since December 2020...) and thank you so much for being such a great community. I can't wait to see where else this journey leads.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
My bad habits lead to you pt. 6
MASTERLIST
Sequel to We lie awake in love and fear
From a prompt by @lilacmermaid25:
5 times Ted returns from Kansas for a wedding, one time he returns 'just because'.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Here we go, it's the end! One time Ted returns to Richmond 'just because'. I've loved writing this, I really, really hope you've enjoyed it. I'm so excited for you to see the ending.
Chapter 6
Ted.
He hadn’t intended it. He’d been so consumed with shutting down to avoid getting hurt - or hurting anyone else - that when Rebecca had opened her front door to him nearly two years ago and called him out on how closed off he was being, the depth of his feelings had quite literally taken him off his feet and down on his knees in front of her. He’d have happily stayed there for the rest of his life too. But he’d committed to returning to Kansas, and she’d told him clearly that it was a one night only deal. That it had continued at Beard’s wedding at Stonehenge was unexpected. He hadn’t realised that Matthijs would be leaving early, hadn’t anticipated what seeing someone else touching Rebecca would do to him. She’d been angry at Nate’s wedding, and rightly so - crowding her in the doorway of her bedroom and not telling her about Marie had been a mistake, but he couldn’t resist touching her. He understood why she’d turned up on his doorstep and took what she needed from him, her not letting him touch her had nearly killed him. They’d been in a better place at Roy and Keeley’s wedding. Determined to break the cycle that threatened to destroy their friendship. But then she’d spoken with so much love, and there was that outfit and suddenly the thought of not touching again her became too much to bear. He’d made a huge mistake in taking Marie to Leslie’s vow renewal, he knew that immediately. He’d been struggling to commit and Marie had been so insistent. He thought it could be the one thing that finally stopped him and Rebecca doing more damage to each other and to any future relationships they tried to pursue. He was wrong and she was right, as usual.
Colin’s wedding had been a revelation to him. He’d danced with her, kissed her, loved her so publicly. His room at the B&B had been abandoned. He spent three nights in her bed, three days and nights by her side making up for every hasty, illicit fuck. Three days and nights making her toes curl and pulling sighs and moans from her beautiful mouth. He could almost believe that this could be their life together. That he could do this forever. But his decision had been made two years previously, he’d chosen Henry. Granted, he’d done it with very little consultation with Michelle or Henry, but it was vital for him to be in Henry’s life. It was non negotiable. The fact that Rebecca knew that, and understood and supported it almost made it worse. He was practically breaking her heart with her knowing consent.
“Hey bud, dinner’s ready.” He called out from the kitchen. Henry stashed his Switch into the sofa cushions. Some new game hot on his mind. “Whatcha playin’?” Henry wouldn’t meet his eye.
“New Pokemon game, Becca got a Switch too and I’m showing her how to play.”
“Becca got a games console?” Ted was incredulous.
“Yeah, so we can play. She emailed me and mom to find out which one to get.” Spring was just within grasp. He hadn’t spoken to Rebecca directly since he’d left London in the new year. 10 weeks and he was still in denial about approaching any kind of ‘new deal’ with Michelle, 10 weeks that he’d text Rebecca back, but never called her. Unwilling or unable to hear her voice pulling him back to London. “Mom said you really need to talk to Becca. She’s sad and nothing me or mom tell her is helping.”
“What exactly are you and mom telling her?”
“That we’ll figure something out. I’ve gotta finish these exams, but then mom said maybe we could move.” The boy shrugged into his pasta. Ted sat down before his legs gave out.
“I think I need to speak to your mom.” He muttered. Henry raised an eyebrow,
“Duhh, Dad.” Ted finished dinner in silence. Henry sensed not to push his dad’s mood and left him alone with his thoughts. Ted drove Henry home after dinner, his half a week over. The last few times, he hadn’t walked Henry to the door, he’d dropped him off and watched him go into the house, waving from the car. This time though, he got out and followed Henry.
“Hey guys, how’s your week been?” Michelle asked, trying to hug Henry on his way inside, the boy nearly as tall as her.
“Pretty good mom. I got Becca to level 8 at last!” Henry dodged past her, avoiding her grasp in typical teenage boy fashion.
“I know, she told me! She’s very proud.”
“And so I should be - I worked very hard on that level I’ll have you know.” Henry peered around into the sitting room to see Rebecca with her feet tucked under her on his mom’s sofa, a glass of wine in her hand and a Richmond hoodie on with her jeans.
“You’re here!” Henry barrelled past his mom and practically jumped onto the sofa into Rebecca’s arms.
"Oof, I am here! It's amazing what you can do when you have a private jet."
"You’re here. I thought Nora had banned you from using it?" Ted said, following Michelle into the room.
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her. How are you?"
"'Bout to be ambushed by all accounts."
"The first rule of intervention is 'surprise!' - Ta da!" Rebecca joked with jazz hands. Ted didn't look overly pleased.
"I'm gonna get you a beer because I think it will help.” Michelle patted him on the shoulder before throwing Rebecca a wide eyed look once she was out of eyeshot.
“I thought it was just a few emails before Christmas?”
“It was." Rebecca started,
"And then you came back looking like… well kinda like you look now - like you do every time your mother visits. Like you do every time you get back from a visit to London.” Michelle pushed the beer into his hand.
“I don’t understand, I-”
“Of course you don’t. Rebecca got back in touch a week or two after the new year when she hadn’t heard from you. She sounded so hurt, I asked if I could call her and we talked for a long, long time. She told me everything, Ted. She told me what’s been going on since right before you moved back and she told me what she said to you at the airport the last time you left London. And then I told her to come here."
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He looked at Michelle, then Rebecca, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you? You made it sound - to Rebecca at least - like you were going to come back and have a discussion with me? Like we would actually talk about how the hell we ended up in this situation where you feel that you’re the one who has to give 100% all of the time. Where you think that sacrificing your love for her is some act of fucking nobility.” Ted looked intently at his beer bottle. “It’s not, by the way. It’s tragic. Henry told you himself - he told you that you are happier in London. Did you not listen to him?” Ted started to mumble. Even Rebecca looked down into her wine glass, feeling chastised. “No, no excuses. You didn’t ask, you didn’t find out if we would meet you halfway. You assumed that we wouldn’t.”
“Hey now that’s not fair, I couldn’t expect you and Henry to ditch your entire lives here because I… because I love Rebecca.”
“Why the heck not? She’s made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t just love you. She loves Henry, she’s been a really great friend to me. She’s invested not just in you but in your life, your history and your future. You need to let her show you. That's why I suggested she come here for a few days.” Michelle stood between them with her hands on her hips with Henry watching the somewhat one sided verbal tennis match. "Now, I'm gonna take Henry, we're going to the store cos lord knows Rebecca and I need more wine. You two have got an hour to talk. I mean, obviously you can carry on longer than that, but we'll be back in an hour." She gestured to Henry to get moving, "So keep your hands to yourselves." She added quietly. Ted stayed in the doorway while he heard the car reverse off the driveway.
"And I thought I was scary." Rebecca finally looked at him with a wry smile.
"I know, right? I can't believe you're here."
"Me either. We worked it out a couple of days ago. I hope I’m not intruding? I know you said you needed to figure it out but… well there didn’t seem to be too much of that going on.” Ted looked down again, ashamed. He remained silent for what felt like hours.
“I didn’t know how.” He admitted at last. “I know it’s so easy to see the fun and easy side - seeing how well you and Henry - and now Michelle - all get along, seeing how we are when we’re together. But what happens when it’s not easy like that? What if Hen and Michelle hated the UK? What if we don’t work out? What if I’m too much? What if I'm not enough?" His hands clenched around his beer bottle, shaking the contents so much they started to spill out from the top. Rebecca was by his side straight away, taking the bottle and replacing it with her own hands. She held both of his hands in one of hers and used her free hand to brush the hair from his forehead and stroke his cheek.
"Breathe with me my darling, copy my breathing. Nice and steady, in…." She held his gaze, hoping he could see every ounce of love in her eyes. "... and out. And do that again for me, sweetheart. You're doing beautifully." He brought her hand up to his chest, holding it tightly. She stepped closer so they were almost nose to nose. "That's it, you've got it under control. We've got it." She didn't move until he nodded confirmation that it had passed. "I'm sorry, Ted. I'm so sorry. My being here brought that on."
"No, no. I just got carried away." He moved to sit, pulling her down next to him. He reached out to toy with the ties of her hoodie. "Never thought I'd see you in one of these." She pointed down to the name embroidered on the front above the Richmond Team logo - LASSO.
"New workwear order came in." She shrugged. "I don't want to contribute to the fast fashion epidemic, Ted."
"Sure, you're really doing your bit for the environment with that jet." He teased.
"I can just fuck off home, you know?"
"I don't want you to do that. How long do I have you for?"
"Two days. I'm flying back on Saturday morning for the match on Sunday."
"And do you two geniuses have a plan for those two days? Or did the intervention plans stop here?"
"We did think we might be winging it from this point really, to be honest. It all depended on how well me sitting in your ex wife's house went."
"What's the verdict?"
"You haven't kicked me out yet. Or run away. Feeling better?"
"Yeah, you stopped it before it got too bad."
"You stopped it, darling, not me." He shook his head, disagreeing.
"Where're you stayin'?"
"Is this really what you want to talk about when we have an hour alone?"
"I'm hoping for around at least 45 of your 48 hours here to be alone with me."
"Hmm wonder why." She rolled her eyes.
"Do you think it's possible to go for one an hour?"
"One what an hour?" Ted raised his eyebrows leaving Rebecca near speechless.
"Oh my god! Number one, we need to sleep, number two, no I don't think that's physically possible."
"I like how you clarified the sleep bit first. OK, we'll minus… 16 hours. Still leaves 29 to aim for. A solid target." Rebecca’s eyes twinkled with laughter, despite her shaking her head.
"I distinctly recall telling you that sex was no longer on the cards until we'd decided what this is. I am standing by that comment."
"I hear ya. No arguments from me. Just to check though, does that mean I can't make you come?" Rebecca didn't have a chance to answer. Henry bombed through the door with a bucket of popcorn, Michelle was right behind with a 4 pack of beers and a bottle of wine.
"Well, you two are the gift that keeps giving!" Rebecca hopped up off the sofa and followed them to the kitchen, turning back to Ted at the door, "Are you coming, Ted?"
~~~~~~~~~
Ted, Rebecca and Michelle got drunk in the kitchen. Once they'd finally encouraged Henry to go to bed- on the hand on heart promise that he'd see Rebecca the following day - they tucked into the wine, beer and eventually a bottle of whiskey Ted had left behind when he'd moved out.
"I am not going to bed until we have a plan of a plan to discuss with Henry tomorrow. He'll ask, and he won't stop asking. So we might as well work out something before he starts asking." Michelle reasoned.
"I agree, this isn't something we can do in isolation but you should both have a limit on the things you are and aren't willing to say yes to." Rebecca added.
"Exactly. Like, if we did move then I have some rules around how quickly we can make that happen whereas he pretty much wants to go back with you on Saturday!"
"I have plenty of space for you both, but you have to think of yourself as well Michelle and a timing that works for you." Ted watched the women talk for a while until Rebecca noticed his silence. "Ted?"
"I'm gonna go back to my original questions - what happens when it’s not as easy as you two have planned? What if Hen and Michelle hate the UK?" Rebecca noticed he'd missed off the last few questions more specific to her and them.
"Ted, hon, I don't think it's gonna be easy. I've barely been anywhere, I haven't done anything with my life. You had an opportunity to do something so crazily different and you took it. Now I have that chance too. So if it's not easy, then I'm ready for a challenge. We already co-parent really well - all things considered. Even more so now Jake is out of the picture. Rebecca and I get along really well. Frankly, I'll be more grateful for her support than I will for my mother's!" Rebecca raised her glass to that. "And if I hate the UK then I hate it, I'll move back - it's really no big deal. Even if I just taught for a year there it'll open up so many avenues later on back here if I need to. Henry is the perfect age to move - we'd get in right before exams and important stuff like that… Ted. Let me meet you halfway on this, please?" He nodded once.
"Rebecca and I still need to sort some things out. But I'm not disagreeing with you. If you want to look at this seriously, then we will. We should." Michelle looked elated. She jumped up from the kitchen table to hug him before moving to Rebecca. The women embraced happily.
"Look, even if the things that Ted and I need to talk about can't be resolved, I will still support you as much as I can with moving if that's what you want - and moving back if you ever wanted to. I'm ridiculously rich, please, please let me use my money to help you as much as I can. I want to make sure that this is as easy as possible for you and Henry, and money helps." Michelle’s eyes filled with tears.
"I swear to god, Ted, if you don't work things out with Rebecca then I might! OK. I've had enough whiskey. I'm gonna go to bed. The guest room is all made up for you, Rebecca. I wasn't sure where you'd want to stay. Ted, if you need to sleep elsewhere then you get the couch." She shrugged, passing Rebecca with a hand to her shoulder and leaving them to it.
"So."
"So. Looks like you need to start house hunting."
"What if I already had somewhere in mind?"
"That's great for you, but Michelle probably needs somewhere to live."
"You're agreeing with me? No questions asked? I just suggested that I move in with you and you didn't even blink?" She looked at him like he'd gone mad.
"Ted, as far as I'm concerned there isn't a scenario here in which you move back to London and live elsewhere. Unless you don't want us to be together? Because if that's the case then you should definitely live somewhere else." Ted smiled for what felt like the first time in a long time. For the first time since spending new year in London.
"Higgy and Julie made me realise I want a love that will last. You asked if I could see myself loving someone for 35 years. I can. It's you, sweetheart. It’s always been you and in the great tradition of you always being right, you were right about me moving back here. It hasn't made me any happier, it hasn't even made me a better father. I should never have decided alone, I should have opened up to Henry, to Michelle and I should never have left you crying in a fucking airport. You have given me nothing but your love since I told you I was leaving, since way before then, and I haven’t been strong enough to hold onto it." He moved to his knees in front of the wooden kitchen chair she sat on. She was crying, exactly as she had been the last two times he'd left her at the airport. "I'm sorry. I love you so much, baby. You make me stronger, you make me want to hold on." She slipped forwards off the chair and into his arms, kissing his tears away.
~~~~~~~
Ted was used to waking early. Even on days he didn't have Henry, he'd still be up with the sun. In waking at 6am Kansan time, he'd known that he could speak to Rebecca right up until late afternoon when she'd have to go to bed. He could talk to her for hours if he'd wanted. He didn't, of course. There was the original awkwardness left by him leaving initially, which stilted their usual conversations. Then after Beard’s wedding it all felt a bit strained knowing that Matthijs was part of her life. She'd struggled too with Marie being in his life. By the time they were actually both single he thought it would feel even stranger to want to speak to her as much as he did. So he woke early, just to have the option. 6am with her was the very best though. In the handful of 6ams he'd seen her, she was always still sleeping. He could watch the sun track around the room, catching in her hair, on her skin. 6am Rebecca was peaceful and soft. 6am Ted could hardly keep his hands to himself. He was usually able to hold off until closer to 7am, a far more respectable hour. This morning though, in Michelle’s guest room, with the Kansan sun lighting her up, he didn't want to wait. If jetlag was anything to go by, she wouldn’t sleep for much longer anyway, and he wanted as many hours as possible with her before she had to fly back. He also had a feeling that Henry would have no trouble getting up for school this morning, unlike other mornings where Ted had to practically drag him out of his room. He traced the embroidered LASSO on her Richmond t-shirt, seeing her wearing his name was enough to make the blood whoosh through his veins.
“If you’re going to touch me up, you are allowed under my t-shirt you know.” She mumbled, eyes still closed.
“I’m a guy who seeks permission rather than forgiveness.” He replied, moving closer to her. She rolled onto her back, pulling him with her and shifting so he could lay between her legs.
“You definitely have my permission.” She kept her eyes closed, her hands tracing up and down his back. The light touch tickled, making him shiver into her. She rolled her hips against him in response. “Sorry,” she whispered, opening her eyes a fraction, “my body does whatever it wants whenever you’re around.” He leaned down on his elbows to kiss her.
“If I ever complain about that, then I’m done for. Take me out back and-” she put a finger to his lips.
“Don’t be silly.” She smiled. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, welcome to Kansas.”
“Thanks, the view is spectacular.” He laughed, his whole body rumbled against her and she rolled her hips again. “Ted, stop it!”
“You got me to lay here. If you can’t take the heat,”
“I can take it, don’t you worry about me.” This time, she rocked her hips against his with purpose, feeling him semi hard against her thigh. “Though I’m not entirely sure that doing this in your ex wife's guest room with everyone about to wake up is a good idea.”
“Hmm. We’re not doing anything.” His hand snaked under her t-shirt and up. “Yet.” A loud knock on the door sounded,
“Hey dad! Coffees on, come down!”
“We’ll be right there, H.” Rebecca replied. “Time to move.” She looked up at Ted, wiggling against him.
“Easy for you to say. I might need a minute first.” He groaned, kissing her again. She didn’t help when she slipped out from underneath him and pulled the t-shirt off so she could get dressed. “Becca, you’re killing me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, darling. Ready to go down?”
“Down where?” He said into the pillow. She just laughed and left him alone.
“So.” Henry looked seriously at Rebecca across the breakfast table. “What’s the plan, boss?” She smiled fondly at him.
“Let’s wait for your dad. I’m not sure if there’s enough time to talk about it all before school.”
“We should be ok,” Michelle offered, “if you and Ted wouldn’t mind taking Hen then it gives us a bit more time. My school is in the opposite direction.” Rebecca nodded,
“Of course, I hope I won’t be ruining your cool credentials by taking you to school?” She teased Henry.
“Are you kidding? My friends all know you have a jet and own a whole football team! They already think you’re the coolest.”
“Is that all I had to do?” Michelle feigned hurt.
“Children are so fickle!” Rebecca laughed.
“You’re cool too mom. But you don’t get to see Jamie Tartt every day.”
“I can arrange it so that she does, if that helps.” Rebecca shrugged. “He is very cute.” She pointed out to Michelle who laughed loudly,
“He’s also a little young for me!”
“Hmm. He’s also in a bit of a throuple at the moment as well.”
“What’s a throuple?” Henry asked.
“Tell you when you’re older.” Ted interrupted as Michelle turned to Rebecca with a ‘really?!’ look at the same time. Rebecca just nodded, a covert tell you later passing between them. As soon as Ted had poured coffee and sat down, Henry’s eyes were on him expectantly. “What?”
“Dad!”
“Henry, morning.”
“Good morning. What are we going to do? Can we move? Is mom coming too? When can we go? Can I join a football team? Can my friends visit in the summer?”
“Slow down buddy, slow down. Let’s take those one at a time shall we?” Henry nodded furiously. “Ok,” Ted looked at Michelle who nodded in agreement, and Rebecca who did the same, “ok. We’re going to move back.” Henry whooped - nearly launching his breakfast bowl off the table.
“Yesss!!” He shouted, running around the table to hug them all. “I knew it!”
“Mom’s gonna come too. It’ll have to be when the school year finishes though.”
“Can I still visit for spring break? It’s only a couple weeks away!”
“Yes, we can still visit. It gives your mum a chance to have a real look around and make some plans of her own.” Henry finally calmed down a little, excitement bubbling over and infecting Michelle and Rebecca who were both giggling into their coffee cups. “There’s still a lot to work out. We need to find you a school for September, your mom wants to find a job in a school.”
“But we can work it all out together.” Rebecca added. “Someone said to me once that if you really care about someone and you’ve got love in your heart, there’s nothing you can’t get through together.”
“Someone really said that to you?” Ted exclaimed, “Man, what a cheeseball!”
“But it’s real? You’re not kidding?”
“No honey, we’re not kidding. We’ve got a lot to do to get ready, but it’s gonna happen.” Michelle smiled happily.
~~~~~~
“So airport goodbyes are a little different when you’re paying the pilot, huh?” Ted joked.
“Well, I still have to answer to air traffic control. But I don’t get shouted at by a stewardess if I’m late.”
“Have I got time to make you really late?” He mumbled against her lips quietly, pulling her in for yet another kiss. Rebecca was fairly sure her bones were still lying in the bed in his apartment. Once they’d taken Henry to school, they’d spent an all too brief 24 hours in bed and had only emerged for food. They’d taken Michelle and Henry out for dinner on Friday night, exciting plans in progress for their spring visit and for the summer move. Ted had decided to stay in Kansas until their move so he could help with the logistics of moving to a new country. Knowing that he’d be back for nearly a month in the spring and then summer being just around the corner, Rebecca happily accepted this.
“I’m afraid not. But the good news is I’ll see you in two weeks.”
“Two weeks is too long. Hope your calendar is light because I don’t intend to let go of you while I’m there.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Ewww dad! Let Rebecca go, I want to say goodbye!” Henry all but shoved Ted out of the way.
“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks my darling. We can make a start on the Falcon.”
“Oh my gosh that is gonna look so cool!”
“It really is! Hey, would you mind going with your dad to get me some snacks for the plane?” Rebecca asked. Henry soon ran off, dragging Ted behind him. Rebecca turned to Michelle, “I know this has all been your decision and I don’t think we’ve pushed you into anything-”
“You haven’t, you absolutely haven’t.” Michelle affirmed.
“But I still can’t thank you enough.” Rebecca’s eyes swam with tears. “You’re allowing me to join your family, Michelle, that’s not nothing.” The shorter woman took Rebecca’s hands.
“You love him so wonderfully, and so completely. You both deserve this. And I am not getting a raw deal here, I promise there is no short stick - I get to transform my whole life and do something for me for a change. Please, please don’t think that you’re selling me down the river, Rebecca. I can’t wait for this move - and I hope we can be friends?” Rebecca nodded through her tears.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” The women hugged tightly just as Ted and Henry reappeared. Behind her, an airport representative cleared their throat. “Sounds like I might get in trouble after all.” She hugged Michelle once more, then Henry and then stepped back into Ted’s arms.
“Not long, I promise not long. I’ll be home soon.” He whispered.
“I love you. I can’t wait.”
“I love you, sweetheart. Call me when you land.” Rebecca reluctantly let him go and was led to her jet on the runway.
“Can we go on there one day dad?”
“Sure can, Hen. I bet Rebecca will let you move to London on that thing. Hey, did you know she’s got a yacht too?”
“Really?!” Michelle asked.
“Yup, maybe we could do some travelling in the summer before school starts.”
“God this move is going to be so good for us all.”
“You know it. Thanks, Michelle. I’m glad that we can still do this as a family.” She smiled warmly at Ted,
“We never stopped being a family, Ted.”
~~~~~~~
Ted looked out at the training pitch at the players running their drills. He stood by Roy’s side with Beard and Nate. In Rebecca’s office, Keeley had just arrived for a meeting.
“Everything set, coach?”
“Yep. Keeley’s upstairs keeping her busy. The lads are ready.”
“Excellent.” He turned to the stands and gestured for Michelle and Henry to come down. As he did, Leslie and Trent emerged from the building. “That everyone?”
“That’s everyone.” Nate confirmed.
“Whistle, whistle!” Roy shouted. The team gathered in, trying to keep their excitement at low volume, welcoming Ted and Henry and nodding politely in greeting at Michelle. There was a murmur of anticipation among them, a buzz.
“Hey fellas.” He smiled at them all, talking relatively quietly. Jamie shot a look up to Rebecca’s window to check it was closed. “Good to see y’all. I’ve really missed ya. Beard told ya what we’re gonna do?” He checked. There were nods of agreement throughout. “Ok, let’s get to it.” The team scattered along with Roy, Nate and Will, Henry jumped up the steps into the stand to get a better view. “How’s it look?” Ted asked as loudly as he dared. Henry gave a thumbs up. Michelle, Trent and Leslie went to join the team on the pitch as Henry came back down the steps. “You gonna be the dot?” Henry grinned.
“”Sure dad.” He went down onto the pitch and got into position. Ted checked his watch, right on time.
“Holy shit babe, it’s getting warm. I’m just gonna open a window, yeah?” Keeley said, pushing the window wide before Rebecca could disagree. Down on the pitch, Ted saw his signal.
“Hey bosssss?!” He yelled as loudly as he could. “Boss?”
“The fuck is that?” Rebecca asked, joining Keeley by the window. “What the-” She looked down onto the pitch where all of the people she loved the most were laid out, their bodies spelling ‘Marry Me?” She could see Henry in a ball forming the dot of the question mark shaped by Trent, Michelle and Higgins. “Holy shit.”
“You weren’t supposed to be here til tomorrow!” She shouted down at Ted.
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course it’s a fucking yes, you silly man!” She took off, not bothering to put her shoes back on. She raced through the changing room and the gym to the exit doors, pushing out into the sunlight and running onto the pitch. She ran into Ted so fast that she nearly knocked them both to the grass. His hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her around. “Of course it’s a yes.”
“Good job I got this then?” He put her down gently, the dew on the grass soaking her feet, he got to one knee and pulled out a familiar pale pink box.
“I hope there’s biscuits in there.” She joked with a very watery smile. He opened the box and nestled among the shortbread sat a pink diamond ring.
“I reckon we’ve been to enough weddings that aren’t ours. Marry me, Rebecca?” She dropped to her knees in front of him, grass staining her skirt.
“Yes, Ted. Always yes.”
Beside them, their family jumped up from the grass and roared and cheered.
FIN
#ted lasso#tedbecca#tedlassoedit#ted and rebecca#rebecca welton#rebecca x ted#ted lasso fanfiction#ted lasso fic
13 notes
·
View notes
Photo
One Night In NYC (Smut One Shot)
Jesse 4Town x Fem Reader NSFW
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
The first stop of our honeymoon, I can't wait.
Jesse and I recently got married, and we had a huge wedding. It was the greatest wedding I've ever witnessed in my life. I reckon it's better than the most recent royal weddings! Jesse planned out the wedding so well, I'm super impressed by his skills. His two kids were the bridesmaids, and it was super cute. His kids and I, have bonded super close ever since he first introduced me to them. They are the nicest kids, and are super well behaved. Better than any other kid I know. Jesse is just so good at raising kids properly, as well as handling them with lots of care. That's one of the many traits I love about him.
After our wedding, we had planned many stops around the world. We got married in my home city, so our plan is to make two stops to the USA, and then a few stops around Asia. Our first stop is NYC, which I am super excited about. We plan to do a lot there. One activity is flying around the statue of liberty in a helicopter, and making stops to amazing dessert places. Jesse and I love desserts so much, so we are both particularly excited for what sweets NYC has to offer.
At the moment, we are both in first class, enjoying some fine alcohol and listening to music together. We land in about an hour, so we are calming down on the binge eating. It's been a long flight, and we are super exhausted. Our plan for today is to get back to our hotel, and then just rest and take it easy for the day. A thing we are not excited about, is jet lag. How fun!
☆.｡.:* END OF POV. ｡.:*☆
Y/n and Jesse's flight had landed an hour later. They got all of their luggage out and hopped into their rented Rolls-Royce. The drive from the air port to the hotel took a while, because of the major traffic there is. Once they got back, they had a shower and changed into some comfortable clothes. Jesse and y/n decided to play some Pokemon on their switches together, and then they headed off to the restaurant in the hotel.
The restaurant had amazing food, it was better than most of the hotel food Jesse had eaten before. They were pleased with how much they ate there. They went to the spa, and got a massage together, after dinner. Sitting in the hot springs together, they chatted about things they wanted to do the next day. A few people recognised Jesse but they left just in time for the word to not be spread across the hotel. If people were to find out Jesse is here, then his stalkers will come out to play. He has had many major incidences with stalkers over his career. One being a girl who stole his clothes and spam called him countlessly.
They had returned to their hotel room, and rested until the following day.
☆.｡.:* Jesse POV☆.｡.:*
Y/n and I got ready to head off to get early dessert, because why not. I found an amazing place that serves a giant Nutella filled chocolate heart, and I bet she will love it. Ever since we got married, I have never felt more secure with her. I know her love for me is genuine, and I am so grateful for that. She's not like the other women who used me for my money, & my fame.
When we had arrived at the place, y/n's face lit up ever so brightly. The sight of the oozing Nutella, like a waterfall, coming out of the Hollow chocolate heart mould, what an amazing show it put on for us. After y/n had grabbed sight of the dessert, she immediately bought it and stuffed her face into it. Oh how cute she is! And then I also stuffed my face in it, along with her.#
After trying out a couple more places, our stomachs were filled to the brim of sugar. We decided to head to a shopping centre, to look around for some new clothes.
As we were walking around the shopping centre, a lingerie store fell into my field of view. I swiftly grabbed a hold of y/n's hand, and dragged her into the store. My mind was only set on one thing at that moment, and it was buying her some of this beautiful fashion. Truth is, I've never seen her with lingerie on, and I've never seen her fully naked before. We've had sex, but she's never allowed me to take all of her clothes off, so I left it like that. But it's different, now. We're married and there's absolutely no reason for her to be ashamed of herself for just, well, being herself!
J-Jesse, what are you doing, we can't go in here!
Oh, yes we can, y/n. We are now married, and I am buying this for you as a gift. No need to try them on, I have your full measurements already, babe.
After that, I had bought y/n 4 pairs of sexy, black lingerie. I know how to dress people, so obviously I know what lingerie would suit her best. I can't wait to see her in this, just thinking about it makes me go insane. Never being able to see her fully naked, but getting to see her in lingerie, is the best thing that could ever happen to me at this point. Plus, it will help her get fully used to not wearing so much clothing during sex.
After that, I immediately organised a ride back to the hotel, and I dragged her up to the room.
☆.｡.:* END OF POV☆.｡.:*
Y/n and Jesse had arrived to their room. Y/n was struggling to break free of Jesse's grip, but he wasn't letting go of her. He pushed y/n against the wall of the hotel, and looked her deeply in the eyes. He bit his lip, and then said this.
Y/n, please, will you wear this for me.
Y/n tried to argue against it, but
No buts, you will go into the bathroom and try it on for me, please.
Y/n walked slowly to the bathroom, grabbing the lingerie out of Jesse's hand. The look on her face shows nervousness, but Jesse insisted. It took her a while to come out, but when she finally did, he put his hand over his mouth in shock.
Jesse has never seen anyone as beautiful as her, in this very moment. Her beautiful figure graced his eyes, he had never seen her like this before. Jesse couldn't resist himself, and he launched towards her. Y/n let out a loud shriek.
Jesse, p-please don't look at me. I look bad, I don't want you to see me right now!
And after that, she pushed him away, and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Jesse repeatedly tried to unlock it, but to no avail, there was no way he could. He sighs and leans his back against the door. Desperately waiting for her to come out, he decides he will wait as long as he can.
Babe, please come out. You look beautiful, and I mean it. I will prove to you how beautiful you are, if you come out for me.
Jesse, I just can't! I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror like this, so how could you? This is why I have never taken my clothes off, and why I have never let you see me like this before. I can't deal with myself being fully naked. It just, makes me worry about what you think.
Y/n, let me tell you. When you stepped out of this bathroom just then, I thought I just laid my eyes on a goddess. The lingerie looks amazing on you, and it even looks better than on models for Victoria's secret. Please, will you just, let me admire you.
I- I can't...
I understand.
Jesse gets up, and he walks over to the bed. He turns the TV on, and starts to scroll through his phone. Y/n looks at herself in the mirror one last time, and walks towards the door. Jesse then hears a click, and he turns the TV off. He stands up, and looks towards the door, to see y/n, standing there. She still has the lingerie on, which Jesse realises she's ready.
Jesse runs towards y/n, and hugs her tightly.
You are beautiful.
He bites her ear, and pushes her on the counter. One leg around his waist, he pushes his hips into her, feeling each other collide. Y/n lets out a soft gasp, and Jesse kisses on her neck. Small purple dots are left on her, but that's just his way of saying, 'you're mine'. He grabs a vibrator he bought for her, as a gift for their marriage. Y/n is shocked to see it, but she wants to give it a try. He turns it on and lowers it to her quivering bottom half. Y/n can feel the intense vibrations, pulsate throughout her area. The feeling is too good, she moans aloud. By this time, Jesse had undressed himself, and he begins to grind against her backside. He is softly moaning in her ear, and he is loving the sight and state she is in right now. He bites her ear once more, and licks it.
Y/n is shocked by this sudden movement, and she tenses up. Jesse giggles softly,
I love seeing you like this.
As y/n's moaning is growing louder, and louder, Jesse pulls out his package and grabs the lube. Suddenly, he ripped off the lingerie she is wearing, and shoves his shaft inside quickly, with the vibrator still pulsating on her clit. Jesse can feel the vibrations, and it makes him tense up a lot. He groans hard, and y/n moans louder from the pain, and pleasure. Jesse digs his fingernails into her butt, and he groans into her neck. Thrusting so passionately, he slows down, and throws her onto the bed. He launches himself onto her, and brings her ass up into the air, and her legs over her head. He thrusts into her very roughly, and smashes her into the mattress. Jesse is enjoying the sight of how helpless she is right now. As their moans and groans filled the room louder, and louder, y/n starts to shake. Her insides are gripping onto Jesses cock, very tightly. Her moans, turning into screams, from how intense her orgasm is. Never feeling this amount of pleasure before, and it's her first time receiving an orgasm from Jesse without her own help.
Jesse can't take it. He holds onto lasting, like its his life about to end. At this point, he's shaking like a seizure. He just wants to keep feeling this pleasure. Jesse then picks her up, and opens the balcony door, placing her onto the hand railing. Thrusting so hard, and fast.
Moan, moan for me y/n. Let the whole world see how beautiful and helpless you look right now under me. Let everyone know how lucky I am to have you!
She moans, and he moans. His thrusting going to the speed of light, they continue like this for one more minute. People walk out to see them, passionately having sex on the balcony. People are in shock, but Jesse could not care one bit. Who cares if he is caught by the paparazzi, right? But he picks her up and lays her back down on the edge of the bed, just in case. He brings out the vibrator again, and places it between her clit and his cock. The euphoria, the plain euphoria he is in right now. It's everything he's ever needed. He can feel the end edging closer and closer, while he has no awareness that people have just witnessed this whole situation. He thrusts harder, and harder, yet again smashing y/n into the bed.
I- I can feel it coming, ah, ah, ah , Oh my god, fuck!
The seed had sprouted. He releases all of it inside of her, feeling an amazing connection. Jesse is literally shaking, his cock is throbbing inside of her. He fills her insides, and they both quiver. Jesse slides off of her, in exhaustion. They are both puffed out from what just occurred. He gets up, and hugs y/n tightly.
Hey, I'm sorry I went all out. I couldn't help myself. Can I make it up to you, please?
He looks down to a y/n covered in smudged makeup, tears, bites, and hickeys. Jesse's eyes open wide, realising how much pain he had just caused. He hadn't shown his rough side to her yet, but y/n grinned, surprisingly. She liked his rough side, and that was the best sex she'd ever had. He's relieved to see it's all good, and he helps her up to the bathroom to get themselves tidy.
Jesse runs the bath, and helps her into it. He sits behind her and they both cuddle for a while, just relaxing after what happened. He caresses her hair, and washes the scratches he made. He's quite impressed by how much damage he did, though. They sat in the bath for 1 hour and just talked to each other about random things, until Jesse got a phone call from Aaron T.
YO JESSE, YOUR FANS ARE GOING INSANE ON TWITTER DUDE!! SOMEONE SAW YOU AND Y/N FUCKING OUTSIDE!
Oh my god. That was the only words they thought in their heads, after hearing Aaron say that. They both fucked up, badly. But thankfully for them, the video wasn't clear enough to determine it was him, so they were all good after that. But one thing they forgot, was to put a condom on.
☆.｡.:* END☆.｡.:*｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡
#jesse#jesse 4town#jesse smut#4town smut#jesse x reader#turning red#4town#4town x reader#4town headcanons
91 notes
·
View notes
Note
Video game asks. Alk of them (or as many as you feel like doing)!
You come off anon right now and own up!I’ve answered most of them, but there's a few with no answers just because nothing comes to mind right away. I'd have to think about it longer and I don’t have the time or will,power to do so. Naughty anon, asking for so much!
1. Last game you finished
Chained Echoes
2. Games you’re currently playing
I started a mono-team on Pokemon Scarlet, but just to waste time.
3. 1-3 games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed.
Chained Echoes, Pokemon Scarlet, Metroid Fusion
4. Do you like to get 100% achievements/trophies?
I give it a go, but I’m not a completionist. If getting everything starts to frustrate me, I’ll stop. I don’t want to tarnish my enjoyment of a game with an irritation.
5. Games coming out that you’re looking forward to
Hades 2, Baiten Kaitos HD (as long as it's better than the Tales of Symphonia HD)
6. A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to
Pokemon obviously.
7. A series you’ve lost interest in.
Unfortunately it's Zelda. I don’t like the direction BOTW went in. I think they games look gorgeous and I’ve been told a hundred times over they are great. But all the things that made me love Zelda have been stripped out (the unique temples, fun items, etc) in favour of crafting meals and breakable weapons.
8. A series you haven’t played but are interested in trying
There are lots of games I see on Steam that I’d love to try, but can’t because I have a Mac and they aren’t compatible. I can’t name any right now, but I know they are there.
9. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved
Hollow Knight. It was on sale in the Nintendo Store and I thought it looked good so I bought it. Not at all what I was expecting but definitely worth it.
10. A console and/or handheld you’ve never played but would like to try
I’m a Nintendo Fanboy for life. So there isn’t one. Unless there's a Virtual Boy knocking around, I could give myself a headache for a day for that.
11. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory?
A character with a story for sure. Blank state works in some situations, but I like to see how the story progresses with the player character and how it changes them.
12. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing.
Gotta be Larry in Pokemon Scarlet. He's the only one that isn't happy 24/7. Man needs a week off. We can all relate to Larry.
13. Quick, name the first song from a game that comes to mind
Lost Woods theme
14. A song that’s sure to hit your nostalgia buttons
youtube
15. Do you have a backlog and do you keep track of it.
Nope
16. A game you’d like to replay but haven’t.
I want to play Secret of Mana again now after listening to the title music.
17. A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday
I never finished Hollow Knight, but I doubt I’ll ever get it done. I won’t lie, I’m not great at some games, and most of HK I fluked my way through by sheer force of will. But the final part of the game required such perfect platform in skills over a long period that I got too annoyed with and rage quit over and over. So like the 100% completion above, I stopped before I ruined the game for myself.
18. A game location you really like
If I can move to my Animal Crossing island please that would be great.
19. A game you started up for the first time and you knew from the start it was going to be great
Chained Echoes. I'd read a couple of reviews that explained what kind of game it was, and once I started it, within a few minutes of the opening scenes I knew it was exactly what I’d been looking for for so long.
20. A boss you think is really cool.
21. A boss that was disappointing
22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you
23. A wow moment of awe
Watching the Moon hit Clock Town in Majora's Mask. I wasn’t expecting Zelda to be that dark.
24. A game with a cool art style
Okami has a style that looks like a watercolour painting. It took a while to get used to but is very unique.
25. A game's art style that had to grow on you
Zelda Wind Waker. Like everyone else, I didn’t like it at first, but honestly it's so damn beautiful now. I wish more games were made in that style.
26. Realism or Stylized?
Realism is only as good as the technology of the day, whereas Stylised can be whatever you want whenever you want it.
27. A game you like the atmosphere of
28. Pick a series you like. What was the first game you played for it? Was it a good starting point? Would it still be a good starting point now?
I’m going to pick the Kingdom Rush series. It's on Switch and Xbox now, whereas I started playing it on ArmorGames when it was first released. But Flash, Mobile or Console, it's a brilliant Tower Defence game and the first Kingdom Rush is just as good as any of the newer games in the series.
29. On average do you have one game or multiple games going?
Just one. I don’t have that much dedication.
30. Game you think you’ll finish next?
No clue. Need to have a game to play.
31. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?
Maybe a 2D Zelda game like Link to the Past. Not too difficult with a simple control system, big map and lots to explore and collect.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Scarlet/Violet : trauma and healing
TW: neglect / family trauma / death mention
Obvious endgame spoilers for Scarlet/Violet below the cut, read at your own risk... then again, this is more for me than anyone else, but...
I played Pokemon Scarlet. The endgame had me shook.
I almost didn’t want to finish the game, but not for the reason you’d think.
I talked about it before, but I grew up in a toxic home. My mum and dad were constantly fighting, my brother was a chaotic violent mess, and I was sort of just left there to deal with it all. Had to take all three sides just to get by on the day to day.
As I got older, the family grew apart. My estranged brother is out there on his own, and my father was left to figure his own shit out. It’s been just my mum and me ever since, and though we’ve had a rocky relationship, we’ve come a long way. We’re not perfect, but we understand each other. It was very important for me to mend that gap between us.
I found out my father died October 12th, 2019. It left me feeling confused. Sad, angry, and frustrated. I hadn’t seen him since 2012, and not once did he try to reach out. For me, there was no closure. I had wanted to find him and tell him how I felt about what had happened. How I was disappointed in him, and just wanted him to be there. I wanted him to see how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve grown. I thought that maybe, it would have been enough to instigate change. Maybe he would sober up, and at least have a relationship with his daughter.
Over time, I came to accept his death, and moved on.
Now... when I was playing Scarlet... I felt a lot of emotion through the whole Sada bit. Between her breaking the news that the professor was dead, trying to make amends by putting a stop to the “original” professors’ plans, and telling Arven that he was still loved, even to the very end. It had me in tears basically the whole time... but nothing could have prepared me for experiencing Turo’s story.
I watched a Violet playthrough for the Turo scenario, and I don’t think there are words to properly describe how it made me feel. When I looked at him, I saw my dad. When he said that he had died, I felt like I was thrown back to the day I found out. When he wanted to make things right, I imagined it was for me. When he apologized for being gone for so long, I forgave him. And when he said: “your father truly loved you”, I believed him. And when he said “farewell”, I felt closure.
“Even if it was fake, it... felt real, you know.”
I know.
It took me a while to gather my thoughts on this, because I don’t think a lot of games had this kind of impact on me. But it just hit too close to home for me to ignore.
It’s kind of funny, how something as simple as a video game can help you recover from trauma you never really healed from.
Having this kind of thing resolve right at the end of the year... really does help us to carry on with life. For that, I’m thankful.
#personal#pokemon gets another point from me#therapy comes in all shapes and forms#pokemon scarlet violet#pokemon sv spoilers#pokemon sv#pokemon spoilers#tw: death mention
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pokemon characters as Vines because I'm bored
Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!
Alder: Hell yeah!
Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!
Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili’s.
Bad guy: Get your fricking cat away from me!
Anabel: It don’t bite
Raikou: *growling*
Bad guy: YES, IT DO
Ethan: Kris! Is that a weed?
Kris: No, this is a crayon—
Ethan: I’m calling the police!
9-1-1, what’s your emergency?
Blue: 🎶 If your name is Red, and you’re really handsome, come on, raise your hand 🎶
Red: *raises his hand*
Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶
Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*
Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶
Serena: *filming*
Emma: *jumps out and startles Calem*
Calem: Ahh! Stop! I could’ve dropped my croissant!
Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*
Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!
Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.
Cress: Go back to sleep and starve.
Emmet: *banging on pots and pans* I DON’T GET NO SLEEP ‘CAUSE OF YOU! Y’ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP ‘CAUSE OF ME!
Chili: I’m JOHN CENA!
🎶 Doo doo doo doo 🎶
Elio: See this man? He’s a magic man. He’s gonna touch this hot fire.
Kukui: *touches electric fireplace*
Elio: Oh man, he’s a magic man.
(Reading lessons)
Emma: *reading “who”* Wh.. ha? Wha?
Looker: What does that say, Emma?
Emma: Wha?
Looker: No!
Drayden: Let me see what you have!
Iris: A knife!
Drayden: NO!
Volo: I have the power of God and anime on my side! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Cilan: I’m gonna munch. I’m gonna crunch.
*tuba music plays*
Colress: There is only one thing worse than dying *uncovers a poster that says “a child dying.”
Ghetsis: A child.
Colress: NO.
Emma: I am old!
Anabel: *holding back laughter* “How old are you?
Emma: SIXTEEN! *holds up newly hatched Espurr* I’m a grandmother!
“Hi, I’m Serena and I’m your freestyle dance teacher.”
“I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand!”
“Kyogre quivers before him!”
“F**K OFF”
🎵You are my dad🎵
YOU’RE MY DAD!
🎵Boogie woogie woogie🎵
--Emma to Looker (or Akari to Ingo in PLA)
Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*
Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?
After said battle:
Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk
Hugh: (holding a bunch of smiley balloons) I have no soul. Have a nice day!
Grimsley: I don't have one either.
Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.
Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.
“Growlithe, did you eat my Tater Tots?”
*spits out a mouthful of Tater Tots*
“Oh. Keep ‘em.”
Teacher Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?
Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.
Narrator: Cheren did, in fact, learn how to read.
Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?
Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?
Looker: Where are your parents?
Colress: Welcome to physics!
*science project explodes*
*screaming*
May: Brendan, ask me what kind of tree I have.
Brendan: No.
May: Ask me what kind of tree I have.
Brendan: No.
May: Ask me what kind of tree I have. It’s a Chris Pine.
Volo: I am disgusted, I am revolted, I’ve dedicated my entire life to our lord Arceus and this is the thanks I get?
Looker: I may just be a citizen by day, but by night, I am… NIGHT CITIZEN
Elesa: And they were roommates.
Emmet: Oh my god, they were roommates.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
“There is no situation in life that cannot be improved by imagining I have a baby, and then going back to not having a baby.” - Fern Brady
I’m going off later today to see two different comedy shows, one of which features Fern Brady so I thought I’d take advantage of my VPN again and watch her Love and Chaos special on BBC iPlayer. I’m almost finished it and it’s been very funny, made me laugh and even more excited about the show tonight. But I needed to stop the video and copy out this quote specifically, because as a 31-year-old woman who has no kids and does not wish to change that, sometimes I do that exact thing, and I’ve never heard anyone say that before.
When I was doing my co-op placement last month, an experiment with having to get up at 6 AM and commute and be around people all day instead of my usual work-from-home editing job, some of my co-workers talked about how after their shift they had to go pick up their kids or whatever. Then I’d get home from work, I’d be tired and drained from all the social interaction and not looking forward to doing it all again the next day because I’ve been spoiled by doing this editing work for so long and having to actually go places was much harder, but then I’d think “Holy shit, lots of people my age right now would be barely starting the work they have to do today, coming home and doing hours more of taking care of a family before going to sleep and then repeating that every day forever.” And then I’d feel so, genuinely grateful that that was not my life; it made me feel less tired just to think of how tired I could be. And then I’d make eggs and eat them in bed while playing Pokemon and listening to podcasts because I was tired and there was no reason to not do that.
To all the comedians who get up and say racist shit and defend it with “But comedians are supposed to say the stuff we’re all thinking but are too scared to say out loud!”, that’s not what that means. It doesn’t mean the N word or whatever, it just means articulating my unarticulated thoughts about how glad I was to not be my co-worker who had to go from work to pick up her kids.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Horribly Written Essay On Figment and Disney
(this is my first post so please cut me some slack, I am also not a writer :P )
I remember Fifth Grade for a plethora of reasons. My Grandpa’s passing, the year I watched one of my classmates descend into becoming the weird fetish kid, and the year my favorite Pokemon card was stolen and returned, but to me, the most impacting part of who I am now was my trip to Disney World. Now for all my life, I was a Disney kid, I had all the movies, all the toys, and even the Barbie Disney Rapunzel Castle that you could put water on the walls to make her paintings appear. And now looking back at my life as an 18-year-old college student, I think Disney did the one thing I couldn’t do for myself as a kid, create a focus. Since childhood, I’ve always wanted to be a princess, live in a castle, and meet my prince but I never could due to the housing market and Democracy of course. Now I’ve had ADHD forever, and to anyone who knows me, this isn’t a surprise. I’ve always been the kid in the class who can’t stop talking or moving or drawing pictures in the margins of my work and all over my work and generally not doing my work. And when I was home; I was the same. Never had a clean room, constantly playing and making stories with my Barbies and Monster High Dolls. And it was an escape, I didn’t have a solid group of friends in Fifth Grade, It was a time when who liked me and could tolerate me would jump around from kid to kid till I had no true idea who was really a friend. I still don’t know how to separate a friend from an acquaintance. But one day it changed.
I had gotten home from school like usual, and there was a white box on the counter. I didn’t notice the excited looks peaking from my parents most likely exhausted faces(they had two kids who wouldn’t be tired) as my mother alerted us that they had a surprise. I will attempt to describe the following as dramatically and flourished as I can, she lifted the sagging white box off the counter carefully holding the bottom. As she lifted the flap, words started to appear seemingly alerting we were going somewhere. Disney World. How I couldn’t contain my excitement I remember crying in joy, though my memory of back then is mostly a blur due to getting older and just general brain fogginess. During April break, peak tourism time which proved to be a good idea at the time later proved to be a not-so-great time, we were off. Now we stayed in a rental home about 30 to 40 minutes away from the park, I had a tv in my room and would only watch Disney Channel cause why wouldn’t I, it was Disney Radio season. I remember a few details of the home, a pool, a little lizard that seemed to follow me from window to window from outside the home, and a nearby Walmart with so much Disney stuff I as an adult would have wept from how empty my wallets would have been upon leaving. On the second day, my life would change.
Epcot, which is home to attractions like Drinking Around the World and Test Track is by far my favorite Disney park to this day. In one whole day, I got to travel around the world, go to space, and see him. Now looking at the large sort of wacky-shaped building from the outside you wouldn’t expect to find such a large assortment of wonders inside. Journey into the Imagination is possibly the one thing I’d want to relive other than seeing Phantom of the Opera a year prior(which I wore the same shirt to by the way), the ride takes you on a tour of the senses before Figment interrupts. At the time I didn’t think anything of Figment, he was some old dragon that had a funny voice and at the time that's all he was. But looking back at my young self I see a lot of me in Figment. I was a creative outcast who wanted to find my way in life and help but usually was yelled at or ignored. And Figment goes through a similar journey on his attraction. And I think that's what's drawn me to him all these years, once I hit Highschool I had a hard time finding myself and fitting in. Luckily I had good friends at that point but I didn’t feel complete. I remember the day, it was early December of my freshman year. I was watching Disney Ride POV’s to pass the time when I stumbled onto the recording of Figment, and I was obsessed. I spent hours of time over the next year coming back to the videos, even during the height of Covid I was still finding comfort in a memory. I received my first stuffed Figment from my friend on my 17th Birthday, at the time it was the only merchandise of him they sold out of parks and I cried upon receiving him. Then for my 18th Birthday, I spoiled myself with custom horns to match him, a huge 2ft stuffed Figment and custom earrings. And the same dear friend had gone to Disney that year and came over while I was bleaching my hair and delivered such a special gift. A Figment that magnetically could sit on your shoulder from the parks. I almost lost my mind but kept composed to not seem like a psychopath.
I might be crazy, but I know I sure sound it. But I hold this little Purple Dragon so close in my heart. Disney in particular has always been my comfort anything, and I don’t think it ever won’t be. As time goes on more and more stuff is thrown at me like how a toddler throws a birthday cake and I am so happy. I am so emotionally invested in the company I get excited for the panels at D23, and when news is dropped about company workings. It's special for me, and so is Figment.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pokemon sage download 1.5.1
#Pokemon sage download 1.5.1 plus
Still feel like us regular players constantly get ignored in favor of those who play all day and have nothing better to do than roam around. I have 2 special research tasks that never will get fulfilled cus they involve giovani. Also still the rocket bosses are next to impossible so thanks for making things unobtainable like shadow legends and event quests. I only stop by places on the way in my car where I can access quickly and not have to get out. And going to a places like parks with older kids milling about makes me feel unsafe so I really need that buffer. I don’t have the time to walk around and irritated that’s the devs addenda, not all of us have the time to do that. Not much has improved, at least the distance for gyms and stops are staying expanded. Also can we make dodging work in battles? It’s an underutilized addition that doesn’t appear to help with battling.
I honestly don’t struggle with poke balls but more with potions since I battle a lot I am always healing my Pokémon and always have a huge amount of Pokémon I can’t revive due to the low amounts of potions that are more frequently getting distributed as gifts from raids or friends. I was reading the reviews and I agree that there needs to be a chat with your friend group so you can coordinate raids rather than using facebook chat groups. Less tapping the screen continuously and more strategizing your next move. In the original Game Boy games when you tried to catch a Pokémon you had to fight it with one of your own Pokémon and each Pokémon had up to 3 or 4 attacks that you could pick from. The new changes have been great keeping older players such as myself actively playing yet I’ve felt like since the beginning there has been a key element that has been missing. The best part is Niantic really does care about their players and listens to the feedback given from their loyal players. This has been a great game since the beginning! Never before have we had a game that encouraged people to get out and meet people in the real world with the same love for Pokémon.
I love this game, can we make it even better? Continued use of GPS running in the background can dramatically reduce battery life. Compatibility is not guaranteed for all devices. Please visit for additional compatibility information. Not compatible with 5th generation iPod Touch devices or iPhone 5c or earlier iPhone devices.
#Pokemon sage download 1.5.1 plus
Compatible with iPhone® 5s / SE / 6 / 6s / 6 Plus / 6s Plus / 7 / 7 Plus / 8 / 8 Plus / X devices with iOS Version 9 or later installed. Information current as of July 11, 2019. Compatibility information may be changed at any time. Compatibility is not guaranteed for devices without GPS capabilities or devices that are connected only to Wi-Fi networks. It is recommended to play while connected to a network in order to obtain accurate location information. It is optimized for smartphones, not tablets. This app is free-to-play and offers in-game purchases. With the player’s permission, Adventure Sync uses the Health app to enable the player to earn walking distance when the app is closed. It’s time to get moving-your real-life adventures await! Let’s GO! TEAM UP and UNITE with other Trainers to catch powerful Pokémon during Raid Battles! JOURNEY alongside your Buddy Pokémon to help make your Pokémon stronger and earn rewards! UNCOVER THE WORLD OF POKÉMON: Explore and discover Pokémon wherever you are!ĬATCH more Pokémon to complete your Pokédex! Pokémon GO is the global gaming sensation that has been downloaded over 1 billion times and named “Best Mobile Game” by the Game Developers Choice Awards and “Best App of the Year” by TechCrunch. Join Trainers across the globe who are discovering Pokémon as they explore the world around them. NEW! Now you can battle other Pokémon GO trainers online! Try the GO Battle League today.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so Black2 (my dumb self didn’t realize it was a sequel, not a remake) arrived way earlier than expected, and I’m currently at the Pokestar Studio (CEO’s name is Stu Deeoh alsjsksnsks I love it) and all I can think of is all the reporters/paparazzi from ORAS who basically follow the player around, so MC is ALWAYS on the news. And if you watch Pokémon Origins, in the Rayquaza/Dioxy bit, a reporter had snuck her way in to get footage of the meteor thing happening- and saw MC with Rayquaza.
So like: they would know El was the one who stopped the meteor from crashing into the earth. Everyone also knows El stopped Groudon and Kyogre because so many people saw and were recording the destruction like idiots instead of running away, and because of Zinia everyone also knows that El was the one to stop Team Rocket despite authorities trying to keep that under wraps to protect El at the time- as she was still just a kid when Team Rocket was defeated. It’s more like an open secret now when she’s an adult- only a select few she trusts knows the whole story- but Zinia blabs about it because WOW A HERO and also because she has El’s forgotten past figured out to a T.
So now I have this dumb idea in my head of the news flooding the pokenet or whatever, and it reaches the attention of the Pokestar Studio, and they want to make a freaking movie (or three) based off of her life- and she’s just sort of dumbfounded like “What.”
Because they have to be joking, but they’re totally serious because she’s a hero and has such an interesting (tragic) backstory, and if she’s already married to Steven at this point then the internet probably also knows of how they met each other once as kids before everything went wrong. So they have the DRAMA now too.
People just have to know her story after everything she’s done for them and for the pokemon. And El probably just wants to “nope” out of that situation as fast as she can. Brock, Blue, please come pick her up she can’t deal with this attention alsjsksnsks please help your best friend.
It’s such a dumb idea but like it amuses me greatly because she’s going to be so famous when she really doesn’t wanna be, she just… seems to always be the one to SAVE everything when all she wants is to to just live a peaceful life with her pokemon and new family.
Yet somehow she’s always in the wrong place at the right time and ends up having to play reluctant hero. Literally, El can’t seem to go anywhere- not even on her freaking honeymoon- without encountering a new evil organization that wants to take over the world or destroy it to make a new one.
El is walking entertainment for the world and for paparazzi and ORAS really does seem to be the worst of it, lol. Her marrying Steven mother hecking Stone and having known him in the past before getting kidnapped is just icing on top of the already delicious tea-filled cake that is her life.
Reporters and Pokestar Studios would be all over that.
Anyway. Just a thought.
On a completely different note, my current pokémon team is Servine (Hawthorn) Riolu (Riku) and Audino (Sylvia). Hilariously, I have only encountered one Audino and it was the first pokemon I encountered and caught in the Virbank Complex. I have never seen another, and I’ve done some extreme farming levels because of Roxie’s poison gym.
Figured she could be Sylveon sub since Sylveon isn’t a thing in this game and while she is not a fairy type she does have a similar color scheme and DANG does her “Return” do damage. Oof. I love her. She is now my main, lol. She is rash and thoroughly cunning, which is very contradictory and amusing.
Sylvia: “I charge into things headfirst without thinking. But only after I’ve done the calculations of how dumb would this be to how easily can I get out of this alive.” Aksjsksksk. “Hmm. I am most strong. I one shot a lot of Pokémon. Yup. Time to charge in now.”
Also Audino is a HOSPITAL pokemon!??? Like!??? I love her. El is probably going to have an Audino after she’s adopted and starts developing breathing problems. Family nurse, Audino. No wonder Audino and Indeedee look so much alike.
I love my Shield!Indeedee Cecilia so much 😭 She’s so precious.
#pokemon#pokemon oras#pokemon oc#steven stone x oc#steven stone#audino#pokemon black and white#pokemon black 2
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Journaling after taking a break
Emulators, Pokemon, Super Mario Sunshine, nostalgia, ending therapy, 90 Day Fiancé, Emmy Rossum, the future. So much has happened and I’m entering the next season of my life.
12/14/2023
I have some updates since I stopped journaling.
I figured out emulators and have been able to play games I wanted to play or played as a kid. I’ve only just started getting into my catalog of games, but already I’ve played and finished:
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
Pokemon Pearl
Battle for Bikini Bottom is a game I really loved as a kid and it still holds up! The game mechanics, the different levels, and the pacing. A 10/10 game for me, personally.
Pokemon Pearl was amazing - I chose to play it over Pokemon Diamond because I wanted to see how the gameplay differed. It was very similar to Diamond, except this time I was able to finish the game. This was the first Pokemon game I ever finished (beat the Elite 4 and Cynthia to become the Pokemon Champion). I caught Palkia and my team consisted of Empoleon, Haunter, Crobat, Kadabra, Palkia, and an HM Pokemon.
Emotionally I have been healing and re-connecting with my inner-child as I’ve been playing.
The current games that I am playing are:
Super Mario Sunshine
Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland
Crash Bandicoot
Playing these games is such a trip. There are a number of other games I wanted to start but my Odin can’t play them at full-speed so I need to wait for the Odin 2 to come in.
I’ll be gifting my Odin to Aprille once the Odin 2 comes in. I originally didn’t plan to buy the Odin 2, but once I understood the setup process and the fact that the Odin 2 could handle all the PS2 and GameCube games that the Odin couldn’t, my decision became clear.
…
Another update: I’ve decided that I’ll be ending therapy this upcoming December session. This wasn’t something I was sure about until I got a confirmation that my card on file had expired. I’ve been listening for a sign on when it was time for me to move on from therapy and that was it.
It’s been a long time coming and I’m literally not the same person I was when I started. It’s almost surreal that I’m closing the book on this specific aspect of my life, but I know I’m ready for it.
…
Another update: I’ve been feeling nostalgia like crazy. I almost don’t feel I’m here fully nowadays. I’ve been feeling like I’m seeing the world as I did in Okinawa and high school and college. It’s as if all the timelines within me have begun to combine and condense within me so that they all exist as one. It’s been an unsettling and overwhelming feeling, although not unwelcome.
I don’t feel that I’m ready to make sense of what’s happening within me yet, but I believe it will make sense in time.
…
Another update: there was a Black Friday deal on MAX and I got it as a surprise for us so that we could watch 90 Day Fiancé. We’ve been doing so for a few weeks now and it’s been incredible revisiting the show and who we were the last time we watched it.
I know that many people see the show as just another “trash reality-tv” show full of drama but we see it as so much more than that.
We see courageous people making courages decisions, choosing to be incredibly vulnerable in front of the entire world. Their stories move us and we constantly talk about what comes up within us as we watch them embark on their journeys.
Even today, we were talking about how the people on the show “90 Day Fiance, the other way” were playing these roles in their lives and decided to say goodbye to it all and embark on brand new journeys for themselves. This is why we loved the original show, because we understood and were invested in the risks people took to pursue what they felt was for them.
It’s inspiring.
Tonight’s episodes led us to revisit the move to Chicago and how we felt we were similar to the cast in making that decision. I even saw a TikTok I watched during an ad-break of Fiona leaving Shameless – I had never seen the clips before because I stopped watching a season or 2 before.
I was moved to tears because we are all Fiona/Emmy Rossum. We’re all actors playing out these roles – be it mother, father, sister, brother, friend, lover, etc. It’s only when we decide that we no longer want to play this character anymore that we can experience something new and different.
Yes, the show intended to continue with YOU in it, but you always have a choice to choose differently. And when you do, it can be hurtful for the other actors around you still committed to their characters. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s a decision you have to choose for yourself if you want something more for your life.
…
With everything that has happened (there’s definitely more but for now this is all that is coming to mind), I know I am entering a new era in my life.
I don’t know what my relationship with journaling like this will be moving forward, but I know that I will journal as I feel called to it. I don’t think I will be checking in on a daily basis anymore, and that is ok.
This space was never meant to be permanent or un-changing. Just like me, it will morph and evolve over time. I can’t see where it will go, but that’s the beauty of the journey.
0 notes
Text
Comfort Tag Game!
tagged by @lumiereandcogsworth
comfort movies: hmmm B&B 1991, Tangled, The Nutcracker Prince, The Haunted Mansion... Most of my favs are comfort, honestly. Just depends on the mood. Depends what sort of comfort I need at that time.
comfort food: oh baby uh popcorn fo sho, chocolate, tea (that counts right?), hot chocolate (especially peppermint) and mochas, soft ice cream (vanilla mostly), Peanut Buster Parfaits, what the English call a “Sunday night dinner” which is essentially roast beef, mashed potatoes and (mushy) peas but I also enjoy creamed peas... Love me a good cheese and bacon burger also. McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets are fantastic, love me minced pies, shortbread (whipped shortbread especially)... And Christmas Eve dinner at my grandparents’ which is mostly composed of Polish foods like homemade perogies, salmon and/or fish, cabbage rolls, mushroom sauce... Ok I’m gonna stop coz there are a lot of comfort foods and honestly I’m making myself hungry XD
comfort clothes: starting to really be into my cozy sweaters especially slightly oversized over the last few yrs... and leggings. Or just dressing in my fav outfits that are beautiful (most of which also remind me of characters I love/shows I love)
comfort songs: ooo this is hard. I’ve been thinking to make a playlist for this for years now and never do. Because in the moment that I need comfort it’s hard to remember which song(s) to turn to. The B&B ‘91 soundtrack always gets me a smile and in those moments I usually skip “Gaston” and all the villain associated songs honestly. Love me “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol. Keane and Coldplay are bands to turn to... Love songs except when I am in need of feeling better about being so lonely...
comfort books: Gail Carson Levine’s Ella Enchanted and The Two Princesses of Bamarre are two long time favs that will always be a part of me as well as King of Shadows by Susan Cooper (who I wrote to thanking her for her book’s effect on my life!) Also Inkspell by Cornelia Funke which I read in high school. There aren’t many books from my later reading years (teens, adulthood) that have had such an impact or if they have they don’t readily come to mind as much as the aforementioned titles. Plus some of my other fav books are good favourites but not really of the comforting kind haha
comfort game: oh man this is hard coz usually I don’t really play many games these days. All the electronic games I’ve played a lot of are either out of development (looking at you, Harry Potter Wizards Unite) or I grew out of (Pokemon Go!) or are on systems that I currently don’t own (Goldeneye on N64, Rockband and Kingdom Hearts on PS2...) or I can’t easily plug into (My LotR game, Just Dance and Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles on Wii)... And as for board games most require more than one person to play so my favs such as Clue, Life, Call of the Spirits and others aren’t ones I can easily just do when wanting to XD haha
tagging: consider yourself tagged by me if you wanna do this!!!
THANK YOU LYDIA FOR THE TAG! COMFORT FOR THE WIN!
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
papsl0ver
🌈Luca/Nico🎉
pxlpeachh
Graphics + Illustration
green-static
Green
laldila-menu
Untitled
zoohelp-blog
Светлана Назарова