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theothersecret · 9 months

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I need to say this so bad guys have you seen Nimona? Balister. Balister guys. I’m about to spoil the movie so spoiler warning for Nimona, this is also and primarily about Kaladin Stormblessed btw

First of all Jessie Gender made a review of this movie and the new Spiderverse movie and she described what I’m about to attempt to way better than I ever could so here’s the link to her explanation.

But basically watching Nimona gave me so many feelings and also a great example of what frustrates me about Kaladin’s character, so here I go again-

What frustrates me the most about how Kaladin is treated in canon is that we see how much Alethkar has failed him, and every darkeyed person, and every Parshman, and yet Kaladin’s badassery arch is supposed to be how he proves himself as a Knight Radiant. This system that’s failed him continues to do so throughout the whole series, getting better at times in portrayal, but that’s the way Alethkar has functioned for so long. We’re meant to see that not all lighteyes but to be perfectly honest it frustrates me that the people still making the big decisions in this series are the people the system brings into power, not Kaladin, not the other “underdog” types. He still works under them and constantly deals with the ways Alethkar’s rules about eye color have shaped all of the people he interacts with. Like Jessie says, nobody’s made to change for Kaladin. He has to change for them.

And even worse is that the other huge conflict Kaladin faces is his internal struggle with mental health and his relationship to himself. Kaladin’s perspective of his worth and what he deserves is royally fucked because of the trauma he’s gone through and the ways he’s dealt with it. Kaladin does not believe that he’s a good guy who deserves to be happy and deserves respect. He’s a depressed lower class darkeyed soldier, previously enslaved, that saw his brother die in war, something that is part of Alethkar’s very foundation and core values, something that is undeniably out of his control and built so deeply into the system, and yet Kaladin feels like he failed his brother. He assigned himself the guilt and responsibility for what happened because he was in the battle, not realizing that the anger he holds toward the men in charge is completely called for. Not realizing that he was a teenage child soldier who literally could not have done shit to control anything about that event.

All of this build up for his character could have been so well executed—and that’s such a fucking shame. The stormlight archive is far from finished, but is Sanderson going to actually give Kaladin the arch that he, and the people who go through things synonymous with his struggles, deserves to see?

Going to my actual point bringing Nimona into this, Balister is a great example of what I wish to see be done with Kaladin. It’s a completely different scale of a story, but what I love about him is that he comes to realize that he was never going to be what he was promised he could be as a knight. He was recruited as a diversity hire and trained as a show of good faith towards “inclusion,” not justice. Not change. He realizes that the system he serves isn’t what he cares about, but instead what he cares about is the way the person he loves sees him. His focus shifts from earning his respect through serving a system that was never made for him, to opening his eyes to the pain he and others like him have had to endure, and sharing that pain whole heartedly to make a change.

If I could wish anything for Kaladin, it’s that he’s shown some damn respect. I want somebody to walk in on him getting frustrated with Dalinar, with Adolin or Shallan, and say, “What you’re thinking is right. You do not have to accept this.”

Because Kaladin’s struggles are so real, and Sanderson somehow managed to convey that, it’s so entirely possible to tie his arch together with those beliefs he has about himself and Alethkar being brought into the spotlight and reevaluated. I feel like Sanderson will probably (hopefully) do this with Kaladin’s struggles with guilt and shame, his pattern of assigning himself the blame for things outside of his control, and the aspects of his turmoil that are internal.

But my fear is that the same won’t happen for what’s happening outside of Kaladin. And this is where my opinions come into play, because I do not believe that a few good guys are going to enact the systematic change that needs to happen for like, half of Alethkar and probably beyond. I don’t think Kaladin can swear an oath to protect those who can’t protect themselves, and then sit back and aid the people who did this to them try to figure out how to not be bad. No, I think he should give those powerless people that power to protect themselves. I think the very best thing Sanderson could do with Kaladin as a character is to have him realize that he can’t save everyone, but he could fight for them to have a chance of defending themselves. That he’s been looking in the wrong places for what he needs. I would love love love to see him reprocess his memories, his internal beliefs about himself, and while he heals those long-ago formed wounds, come to reprocess alongside the lies he believed about himself, the lies he’s believed about how to save the world, and his place in it. I want his self love to be intrinsically tied to this. Imagine how fucking fantastic of an arch that would be for him.

#cosmere #stormlight archive #the stormlight archive #kaladin #kaladin stormblessed #sanderson critical #i guess #balister boldheart

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a-very-fond-farewell · 1 year

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Who Holds The Devil, a fic recommendation:

Hi, Niki here.

Ok so, I know I rarely post anymore bc.. reasons (uni is killing me & I even had to step away from my own long ass fic for a tiny bit) BUT if you are in the market for a delectable, truly masterfully written fic as you scroll through the The Devil Judge content on ao3, lemme introduce you to the (ongoing, mind u) 200k+, post canon of your dreams: Who Holds The Devil

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34699867/chapters/86395570?view_adult=true

written by the lovely @amethystinawrites (who’s also a great artist btw, check dem cool creations out @lienwyn), the story follows the classic, superior introspective format that we all love to find at 3am on a weekday with an early wake up call the following morning, which is Unreliable Narrator 101 (clearly).

I wanted to introduce you all to this lovely fic bc I recently caught up with the latest chapter (23) and I wanted to publish the notes I’ve taken for (almost) each update of the plot. I could have easily cut to the chase and posted them in a neatly wrapped comment on ao3 but... you’re talking with the danmei extraordinaire who just reached 350k on their own ongoing gay little fictlet so....... you KNOW my notes would have not been able to fit into the character limit of ao3 comments, right??

so what you will find below is just the product of my live-reaction to some of the stuff I’ve read in the fic. without context, they won’t make much sense to you BUT there will be spoilers for both the ending of the kdrama AND for the aforementioned fic so. BACK AWAY NOW and I would love you all regardless.

this is a spectacular work, it reads fluently, has alternative titles, ~glucose fathers~, helps coming to terms with some truly disturbing shit drama-wise while simultaneously making it easier for the reader to see how much of an unreliable (and gullible? at times? bby u need some railing soon. we got u boo) narrator the protagonist actually is AND it includes a kitten (nothing new for the drama fans, but still, who says no to kittens?).

if you still aren’t sold on this beauty or you haven’t seen the drama, please go do that as soon as you can. personally I think there ARE a few things that made me uncomfortable in the drama (if you know you know, that Texas twist was uncalled for imo), but if you love Villains and Anti-heroes plotting their plotty plots, pretty, older, EVIL ladies (with the occasional younger sinnamon cinnamon roll), BlackMirror-esque scenarios but on steroids, fabulous dramatics and charismatic idiots... then this is the show for you.

which brings me back to the actual reason I decided to write this post! under the cut there are the (short, admittedly) chapter-by-chapter notes I’ve written while reading Who Holds The Devil, so if you don’t know the fic in question and were intrigued enough to check it out thanks to my great pitching abilities (*oneshots an entire bottle of coke as they laught nervously*), then you go do that and then come back to read the notes.

it’s nothing huge, really. my last chapter in my own fic received some great comments from some truly lovely readers and I felt energized by their earnestness, enough to plan to do smth nice myself for an author I admire. I have generally little time to read fiction these days, since I research heavily for my fics and all, so I really wanted to take the time to appreciate this precious thing.

one small thing. if you want to reblog this post of mine, consider visiting @amethystinawrites ‘s tumblr first. I’m not posting this to get attention for myself or my trashcan tumblr blog, I’m doing this to share the love for a great writer so... go there and look around, hit the “follow button” and then share posts from there. like this beauty up here! THANK U DEARS!

last chance: BIG SPOILERS AHEAD!

buckle up and here we go!

(tw grief and some tmi from my part):

(chapters 1-23)

ch.1:

as i’m reading this, i can sense the crushing loneliness and grief and how sometimes your life could orbit around a small cat because it’s the only thing keeping u sane. i have experienced smth similar after my grandparents’ passing last year and i can feel it here as well.

ch.2:

seeing how Ga On cares for Elijah made me tear up. he’s so fond of her. author is very smart about communicating these small things that make life worth living;

i like how the author writes dreams: the way they turn into nightmares when Ga On gets a little too close to realise smth, the way they turn to smth feeble at the edges of his understanding of them;

the remorse Ga On feels for wishing Yo Han to get hurt at Elijah’s expense is so palpable, i hadn’t even considered that while watching. there were so many things happening at once. but author must have thought deeply about it and it shows;

the “feeling guilty for crying” part resonated with me a lot;

Ga On needing friends and human connection? reminds me of when i self-isolated for an entire year with my family and didn’t speak to anyone else, not even texting;

wanting to do everything alone? me and my three-year recovery from burnout would agree if we weren’t little stubborn bitches

ch.3:

loneliness makes u colder, there’s a scientific explanation for it but it fails me now. Ga On looking for warmth seems appropriate;

i like the part where Ga On admits to himself the future he would have had with Soo Hyun was hazy at best. it doesn’t detract from how much she meant to him, but i think honesty is a good way to honour her memory

ch.4:

author smart, every question seems reasonable and well thought out, my understanding is limited but all sounds very compelling;

Yo Han u sneaky bitch treat yo self, have some fun

ch.5:

judge Oh.. i’ve missed her, i was so keen on seeing how she was doing after everything that happened;

the guilt for “forgetting” about thinking of someone is very real: i’m glad to see a character going through the same things i have experienced, it makes me feel less alone in my past struggles and the perception i have of them;

the part of deserving pain and misery felt also very real;

i miss Soo Hyun too;

this fic makes me feel drained after each new chapter but in the same way the movie “The Farewell” does, helping me work through my own grief one sobbing session at a time. gotta love it

ch.6:

i have the biggest crush on judge Oh and the author is making it worse;

distance make the heart grow fonder for real y’all…;

Yo Han lives in survival mode at all times and i can relate to that;

Ga On is such an unreliable narrator i want to call him an idiot sandwich to his face but he’s too compassionate for me to be this cruel to him;

i know the rituals are intricate, i know they are;

(sudden thought: i really really want to see Yo Han tipsy or drunk. i want him to be funny like only old men can be while making a fool of themselves);

ch.7:

competence is a good look on Ga On. i should learn from him and try to make friends;

communication is not their stronger point;

stepping away from trauma and from codependency from your child is hard to work through, but Yo Han is trying;

author is very smart about manipulation tactics (but also, self-doubting idiots). i am impressed

ch.8:

(no notes this time bc this chapter was too gripping i forgot to write my thoughts down, sorry)

ch.9:

“i like hearing you happy” judge Oh please marryME;

“friends” sounding wrong is so funny to me: how do u even relate to someone like Yo Han in a normal context??;

Oh Jin Joo marry ME;

“i grew up in a basement” that’s the level of fact-checking i aspire to on a daily basis;

Yo Han using expressions willingly.. he is reading on how to communicate better, isn’t he?;

Elijah my child ;-; so cute;

i didn’t know judges usually graduate in COURTing as well

ch.10:

i will have to kidnap judge Oh, yes;

“i don’t ever want you to suffer because you think it will make me happy. it won’t”………… author is giving me unreasonable expectations about wife-material individuals;

JUDGE OH MARRY ME;

(*checks fandoms of interest as of recently*) why is it always the murder-husbands trope that gets me…;

that talk about the “imagined grief” ah yes, i play at that game sometimes. it’s horrifying. and this is perhaps the second time i see it explored in the 10 years i’ve been reading fanfictions… well done author;

started reading in loud-whisper now: that’s when u know the plot is good;

that admission was so raw, i love it;

Yo Han is running away ah!;

“are you punishing me?” i am frothing at the mouth. author deserves treats;

ch.11:

(reader is distracted by the dialogue but so far Yo Han is doing his best to explain himself and we are HERE for it);

Yo Han has encyclopaedic knowledge on human emotions but people are not that easily predictable;

oh my god Kang Yo Han, you cannot simply ask people why they can’t get a grip so that you can be with them (eye roll);

Soo Hyun knew Ga On so much they didn’t need words between them… he needs to practice now;

i forgot the brother-doppelgänger trope: i am an imbecile;

the hug ;-; i’m dying

ch.12:

author is really good with nightmares;

look, i’m not saying that Ga On needs therapy but.. Ga On my boi u need therapy;

(reader got distracted by how cool judge Oh is)

ch.13:

new characters yay!;

Ga On not knowing how to interact with people reminds me of my own struggles in uni as i decided to go back after almost 4 years of forced isolation from other people in my age range. depression is a bad bitch and re-learning to talk to others?? not easy;

so cheeky my boi;

aside from the praise kink, the order-me-around one is also strong in this one;

this boi can fit so much possessiveness i swear!

ch.14:

listen, i forgot the bomb was a thing n the drama. author is smart;

lawyer Ko is great. we stan;

lawyer Ko recognises a possessive man and his destructive tendencies alright.. i guess bonding over overthrowing a government does that to a guy like him;

a nice dream~;

“Something within Ga On resonated with the darkness and secrets that hid at Yo Han's core. Like a constant pull, a taut thread of tension, tying them together. Drawing them closer, making them align. Like a steady hum of rightness that left ripples long after they parted, reverberating inside Ga On until his very essence seemed to change frequency.” …….listen, i may as well quit writing. this is poetry to me and it will haunt me for weeks;

this feels like beauty and the beast, reminding Yo Han of his humanity and all;

awkward uncle Yo Han deserves respect;

and i love the fact that Elijah doesn’t make the connection right away. feels normal. organic. i remember how unaware i used to be at her age about adults and their business, i was too busy dealing with my denials and traumas.. so yeah, i like this outcome. it’s also a fresh thing to read, especially since i’m using the match-making trope in my current fic and i’m having fun planning how to overrule it entirely ahah. playing with reader’s expectations is FUN 😈🔥

ch.15:

judge Oh please tug on MY lapels;

praise this good puppy!;

i was wondering about how Ga On had felt that first day after the explosion. he really thought he had lost everything uh?;

“are you planning to murder more people?” should be standard flirting procedure;

Ga On knows how to bargain;

i had to draw the line myself once, with a friend. it was horrible. they tried to reason with me, then tried to change my mind, then it was clear i had to leave for my own good. this is the first time i see this topic examined in fiction so efficiently. it feels real

16:

the part about “holding that line” resonated with me on a visceral level, almost scary;

i am in love with all these boss bitches author has come up with;

chairwoman Moon use me as a floor mat i am begging u;

not me noticing how Ga On trying to make a businesswoman be held accountable for her choices echoes Ga On asking Yo Han the same: again, author SMART;

friendship is great i love these kids;

yes, make Jin Joo feel special Ga On! she always wanted that more than fame anyway. u go kid!;

hug ME judge Oh! i’ll get all the germs no problem

ch.17:

this really hits too close to home sometimes, with the whole second-guessing-despite-being-sure Ga On is going through. i think i needed that. it’s cathartic. it helps;

on one hand i cannot help myself from being fond of Elijah as she is, abrasive and blunt. on the other, i’m glad Ga On calmed down enough to articulate his point properly and teach her about when to step back from other people’s private business. that was very cool to read;

Professor Min >:( this is going to be interesting;

(update) i can feel the shaky-camness in this scene holy fucko;

“you might not want to admit it, but you sold yourself to the devil” yooo that must have been fun to write!;

“so did you” what a PUNCH LINE my guy!;

MY DEVIL??? OH AUTHOR U SLY LOVABLE WALKING BRAIN ON STEROIDS;

Oh Jin Joo step on me;

the Kang Yo Han to Proper Mensch pipeline;

LOCAL JUDGE SHOULD FIND A GOOD WIFE HERE IS MY CV MAAM

ch.18:

dude be screaming his love confession in reply text messages for MONTHS yet only now decides it’s still a good time to nope this out of the way and wait some more before admitting to himself it was love the whole time. effervescent;

so embarrassing! this boi has a crush! ew!!;

ah, anger… the best and easier coverup to process emotions while in denial to rely on in times of confusion. yes. very productive;

GA ON-AH;

if author gets to use the breathy “hyung” card during intimate scenes in the future I’m gonna combust. this is so unfair. author is too good at this game 😔💕;

this puppy needs to channel his anger into some kickboxing or smth;

kang YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS TO ME yo han ladies and gentlemen;

kang I MISS YOU TOO yo han y’all;

kang IM SORRY yo han. period;

oh this fucking diva i swear to any god willing to listen to me!!

ch.19:

Go Eun hi!! :D so cute;

it’s good to see Ga On trying to be more in tune with his confidence, he would have crumbled in the past under Yo Han’s words just by thinking he deserved the pain they were suppose to inflict. good job kid;

OH BOI HERE WE COMIN COMIN

ch.20:

Jin Joo u are making it harder and harder for me to ever be able to find a wife in the future, you know that yes?;

AWARENESS as the kids call it these days yes;

drunk Ga On is adorable;

he is saying I LOVE U you absolute buffoon;

omg it’s happening it’s HAPPENING CALM DOWN

ch.21:

K ;-; ah he really ended up badly poor thing;

someone is nervous 👀;

(too distracted by FEELS to take notes sorry);

the part about small tomatoes being thrown was cute;

ch.22:

i want my own oasis of calm too ;-; Ga On tell me your sugar bby secrets!;

i think this boi deserves a cuddle pile. just… pile everyone on top of him for a collective nap so he can convince himself that he is safe and cared for;

realising to be happy and consequently finding yourself sad bc it’s so sad that it took so long to be happy……. yeah. i know the feeling too well. nice to see it portrayed in fanfic. author smart;

ms Ji ;——; i hope she’s thriving;

(btw i really liked that scene in the drama when Ga On explored the house for the first time. the repetition of Ga Ons really did it for me. idk i’m just very attached to the visuals in that particular context);

(i also liked that scene where Yo Han defends his younger self from his father’s violence. we do that mental exercise in trauma work and to see it portrayed on screen was very hard to watch but also freeing);

someone can feel the Tension uh??;

bby girl is such a spoiled precious princess i love her;

i would love to take notes for Elijah!;

sugary negotiations ensue;

the pining is delicious

ch.23:

give kitty some kiths;

another, grumpy, bigger cat seems to need some too… confused Yo Han is priceless;

listen, soapy hands are underrated as gay awakening material;

NO TRY HARDER omg Ga On u kinky bby;

take the free car u idiot he is courting u;

we are living our best single lives up in here while these two idiots keep flirting, it’s fine, i wish i could drink to wallow in my own misery but i don’t drink, but it’s fine, it’s cool, really;

kang ITS VERY CUTE yo han fuck this guy he’s making me yell at the sun;

they bicker like two old married gays;

yes Ga On order HIM around some more;

author u cannot use the word “starving” and expect me not to go feral feral on this fic

—————

(this is all I have for now but I’m so excited for what comes next! thank you author and please, take time to rest!)

#the devil judge #niki reads #fic recs #fic rec #fics rec #fics recs #amethystinawrites #sneaky niki

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variouscolors · 4 months

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[Pinned] Welcome!!

The text below is an updated version of the rules (est. Jan/06/2024), and a menu for each section of this blog.

[Crossover list] • [Muses] • [Database] • [Lore] • [Ships] • [AU] • [HC] • [ART] • [Tag list]

Blog Status: Currently on depression season + trying to work on a few personal projects (YPD is one of them)

prev. url: @digitaladventurers

Rules below:

○ About Ni:

I’m Ni AKA digitalgate02 (She/They) and I’m 20+ I ask you: if you’re a minor please leave because I won’t interact with you & if you don’t i will softblock and perhaps block you if you insist. [full bio at the end of the post]

Thank you for passing by and please read all of this page, because some etiquette & info are present here:

→ NO BASHING/DUNKING ON ANY SERIES, OR CHARACTERS OR SHIPS. Also I won’t tolerate hateful comments or behavior towards myself or any RPer fellow as well.

→ I don’t ship human/digimon, adult/minor, incest and I might block if you ship it. I multiship things though! Each verse with multiple muses can have different relationships (platonic, romantic, family, rivals, enemies, etc??) -- but i don't write sm/ut. BTW, check my ship list to be aware of some restrictions in this blog.

→ I'm OC, AU, Canon Divergent and Crossover friendly, but I'd like to know your muses first. for Crossovers, check this list first.

→ Pre-stabilished relationships are only for canon relationships. Your OCs will have to be introduced to my muses first, or plotted beforehand. Non-canon ships also must be plotted beforehand, sorry. I'm really picky about that.

→ This blog might contain NF/SW stuff, nothing sex/ual, but swearing or mild triggering content. Please be aware before following me. If you want me to tag something, please tell me beforehand and privately.

→ No godmodding and mindreader, etc. If you want to attack my muses or do some of their actions, please let me know first. Hugging or following you on a walk -- as examples -- are OK, but kissing and other sort of actions are NOT.

→ Btw i'm uncomfortable when people use real people icons in threads, or have live action muses. Sorry （；´д｀）ゞ

→ Please don’t send me requests to draw stuff. Some replies might have art! But if you just drop me something like “can you draw [insert here some prompt/idea]” i will immediately reply with my comm. price chart :) And no, I won’t draw fetish art.

→ Ah, I have so little to zero knowledge of the American dub of any digi-series. I will only work with the Japanese version or Brazilian dub. No dub or OG version dunking is allowed in this space by the way. BTW, I go by canon divergent for certain material like WS games and ▽, as example.

→ I don’t like passive-aggressiveness. If you have something to correct in my posts, please do it politely.

→ Usual common etiquette – No hatred towards people’s religions, sexual/romantic orientation, gender (or lack of), PoC, ethnicities, etc. I won’t hesitate to block if needed.

→ Do not edit my art or repost it. If you wanna use it as an icon/sidebar, ask first. And no, you cannot use my art on A/I & N/F/T for ANYTHING. If you do that, I will block you immediately. If you want to use my doodles as icons, ask first. BTW i do have an icon warehouse blog (it used to be my old RP acc, but now it's for icons + archival of past stuff written with old fellows) → @goggle-digicons

○ I used to have a password, since not everyone sends it (tho it does not mean I won’t RP with you) I ditched that requirement. But if you still want to send me one, just sing “Brave Heart” chorus’ last line. I’m assuming that everyone reads this page by the way… ○

○ About Mun (extended):

Hi I’m Ni (She/They; 20↑) , I love Digimon in general but the series I work more with is the OG Adventure series. I’m Ace/Panromantic, use she/her or they/them pronouns please. I’m a scaredy-cat kind of person who gets nervous and anxious at first, but once we start bonding I will drop those and be more of myself.

I love to learn new things, so please correct me if needed but without yelling at me because I kind of hate being yelled at, because I had bad personal life experiences in the past. My muses, despite some being quite closer to my personality are NOT me so please be aware of the differences between muse and writer.

I get super duper fired up when talking about the things I love the most. However I can be quite harsh and critical about said stuff as well. I tend to get a lot of brainstorms so if I’m messaging you that much please tell me and I will slow down my pace.

I also get excited when writing a thread, so I tend to reply hella quickly while I still have in mind what to say. Don’t rush me, but give me small reminders if I forget to reply since there’s a chance I actually forgot to or thought it was your turn when in fact I hadn’t replied in the first place.

I also draw. Like, a lot. Quite compulsive. Some of my non-canon-material icons are my own art. And I feel a bit uncomfortable by using other people’s art WITHOUT their permission. So yeah, I do my own doodled icons… When I get energy for those.

#ooc post; ni talks #ooc notes; mission details

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mcsquared789 · 4 months

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MCU Uncut Changelog Archive

Future updates (2024 onwards) are shared via Tumblr via normal blog posts. These are all the updates I shared during back when this was on AO3.

As I continue to work on this project, I've recognised that it's a lot of work to do this. I might make some continuity mistakes, or be dissatisfied with what I've written sometimes. So I need a way to keep track of any changes I make — and as I've decided that in doing that, I might as well share them with you!

As I update this list (by date), I'll list any changes or additions I've made to existing works (that are completed) for the reasons I've mentioned. I think ~90% of these will be additions or minor changes to paragraphs and sentences: without good reason, I will probably never change an entire section, a plot point or a conversation. If I do, I may explain why and provide the original text... but it's on a case by case basis and I don't want to promise anything, especially if I feel it may spoil something in another later fic.

Besides, most of these will be incidental and/or probably not provoked by another story or a good comment suggestion. Already as a writer, I've had some thoughts about hey, I don't like how I wrote this part or I know a better way to get the characters over here, etc. Most of the changes here are for those thoughts, and if you've ever struggled to write something like I've had — you can probably see where I'm coming from.

Anyway, that's the point of this chapter. If this fic has had a recent update and the slate is unchanged, that likely means I've added something here. Thanks for understanding! And if I make a little error in marking down dates, let me know.

20/6/23: Minor changes and additions to last chapter & epilogue of Iron Man.

26/6/23: Got my first comment! :D and it’s a bot comment. :| I’ve had to change comment access to registered users only until otherwise — a heads up to anyone who wants to or wishes to comment in the future. I may have to find a different way to reach guests, but this will have to be the way it is for now.

5/7/23: WHOOO 750 hits on Iron Man! :D More minor changes and additions to last few chapters that tie it all together. Nothing much, but thanks everyone for reading! (Btw, Incredible Hulk is out if you don't know already! I will be updating it soon, you can access the link in the Slate.)

12/7/23: So, you will probably look at this date 5 years into the future and be like 'hey, that's the day after AO3 was hit by the DDOS attack!' Totally not related to that event AT ALL, I've needed to change up how I write and store my current work so that I'll still have everything on my computer if say, another attack were to happen again sometime in the future. As a bonus result, this has given me better ways to spot spelling and grammar errors in my fics, so I've been updating them slightly to get rid of as many of them as I can. My next update on The Incredible Hulk will be a little ways off, but it's best I get this sorted first — in the meantime, thanks for continuing to read.

PS. Thanks to everyone who read Iron Man! 800 hits :]

17/7/23: Changed the rating of The Incredible Hulk from Teen to Mature. I’ve been looking at the story I’m planning for this and realised… yeah, it’s gonna get pretty dark. Maybe even the darkest it gets in these fics, but we’ll see! :O Anyway, it’s mislabeled and I’ll be adding additional tags and trigger warnings to it as I go.

31/7/23: I've updated the slate a bit to reveal what I have planned in a little more detail. It's still a little bit light, but I figure it would get people more excited for what I have planned, since titles alone are not much to go off. (Mainly includes details to phase 2-3).

3/8/23: So, wow — thanks everyone so much for the hits and kudos on both my fics so far!! I’ve also noticed that a lot of them are from guests, and since I’ve kinda noticed in the community that the bot comments seem to be less prevalent, I’ve decided to turn on guest comments again so we can give this a try. But if I’m proven wrong, I will have to switch them off. Sorry :(

9/8/23: This is more of a note for me, but I've been updating how I format my fics! I updated the description of Iron Man to include a longer excerpt from the text. As well, I also have figured out how to use the Chapter Summary feature to add parts to my fics, which I've been doing with the Incredible Hulk. If you're interested, the chapters where I added them was 2 and 11 — t's not much, but I plan on including more parts in future fics and will probably use them in this way going forward. (Btw, I'm nearly done with the 16th chapter on TIH! It's a beefy one, so I hope it was worth the wait :P)

16/8/23: A HUGE MILESTONE!! 1000 HITS FOR IRON MAN, WHOOOOO!!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing! I’m so in awe, I feel like I’m gonna cry ;u;

Again, thank you everyone, especially those who’ve stuck around. I know I’ve gone dark a bit in the last week, but rest assured I’m still working on The Incredible Hulk — I’m just doing what I can while getting affairs in order for a trip I’ll be taking next month. You guys are awesome!

26/8/23: Okay, so not major news… but I’ve added a new novella to the Slate! It’s in the Infinity phase, and I thought about adding it in earlier, but didn’t have much reason to… but now I do, after doing some comic and lore research. It’ll be a character driven fic between Wanda and Vision, and it will take place sometime before Infinity War. That’s all I have to add, but to those who are fans of the characters… I think it will be very worthwhile.

13/9/23: I'm currently on that trip I mentioned in August! Thus, I have not been able to work on much, including Incredible Hulk — but I HAVE found some time to make pretty significant revisions and additions to make the Iron Man fic even more polished. I'm working on it throughout this month while I'm gone, but will aim to update the fic with the changes at the end of the month. It will be quite significant, maybe even to the point of warranting a reread — but we'll see. Again, thanks for reading it and bringing us to over 1200 hits! Thank you :)

17/9/23: Updated Iron Man with revised Chapters 1 and 2. Not much different, but better and more detailed than before!

23/9/23: I’m eagerly anticipating my return next month, but I have another significant update! As well as adding to phase 4 and simplifying some text a bit, I have added one-shots, one-chapter stories that I’ll write between longer novels! This is to expand things a little further and add more time to characters who wouldn’t or haven’t gotten the spotlight, as well as to keep the writing process interesting for me — although this will make the whole thing slightly longer to finish :/ whatever, I’ve just kind of accepted that I will NOT be able to meet the deadlines I set for myself.

Pretty much all of these are optional to read, but I’ve only revealed their names to keep some of them a surprise. Most of them you should be able to figure out from however — I hope you look forward to them. When I finish the first of these stories, I will make a seperate series for them that will not be in the main series. So if you want to catch up on them while not being subscribed to my user account, subscribe to that series. :)

29/9/23: Updated Iron Man with revised Chapters 3 and 4. I had less time than I thought... but now, I'm happy to say that I will be returning to work on the Incredible Hulk. I'll aim to upload at least another chapter of it within the first week of October — and I've been eagerly awaiting getting back to work on this :). I finally will be able to write something new again! See you then!

27/10/23: It's been a while since I've updated, so this is going to be a big one!

Firstly, THANK YOU TO ALL MY NEWEST FOLLOWERS. Over 1300 hits on Iron Man, Almost 600 on the Incredible Hulk, and not even finished yet. That's AMAZING, thank you so much for reading! I feel so much pressure to live up to expectations now, but I'm gonna try :'D

Secondly, some updates about the schedule. Nothing else is happening until I finish TIH, but when I do... I'm announcing two things that will most likely happen in the back end of November. 1st, I'll do the very first one-shot, the Consultant! It'll probably be around 3-5k words, and will fill in some gaps by the Incredible Hulk and Iron Man. 2nd, speaking of Iron Man... I'll be moving on to the sequel, War Machine! I'm planning it out now, and all I can say right now is that I actually think it's going to be even BETTER than the first fic. AAAHHH everything's happening!

But again, not until I finish this current fic, which I'm very excited to do. I still have some lingering college work to do, but by next week I'll be able to fully focus on these next projects. Thanks again everyone for reading, and I may have more updates soon!

21/11/23: I am pleased to announce… that both the Hulk and The Consultant are finished! YAYYY!

Firstly again, thank you so much for the support on the Incredible Hulk! Over 900(!!!) hits at the end is a dream come true, and I’m so glad it’s taken off… and for a fic based on one of the least popular movies, that is VERY encouraging for the future.

More relevant to this update, I have finished the first one-shot, the Consultant! It’s a little shorter than I estimated it to be, but it works well for the story — if you are now invested in this, please consider checking it out and giving it some support as well! It will spoil the end of the Hulk, but it’s still good enough to stand on its own. :)

It’ll also tide me over until I’ve finished the first chapters of the next project, which will be the sequel to Iron Man. In regards to when that comes out, I’m hoping that they’ll either be done by the end of this month or in the first week of December. Unlike the Hulk I’m hoping to get a head start on this so I can have more breathing room… but I will not be taking a break for Christmas or anything like that, so you can expect some consistency! Expect 2-4k length chapters for this for a total of 45 chapters. (It’s pretty big, but I estimate it will round out to over 100k words in the end.)

That’s all for now! I’ll see you later.

26/11/23: I am well ahead of my schedule! Well over four chapters into War Machine done, and hopefully another one or two this week before I release the beginning of the fic. You guys have NO idea how much a roll I am on, and how much fun I'm having writing this. I suspect I'll slow down a little at some point in December, but I can at least be confident that I could be possibly done with this fic by January. How awesome is that?!

Also: this fic is definitely gonna be way longer than 100k words. Aaaanyway, expect the first chapters a few days from now! And thank you for checking back on the Slate. ;)

27/11/23: I'm tired of waiting. The fic is out now. (Also, I accidentally wrote the wrong date for the last few posts. Whoops :/)

1/12/23: HOLY CRAP, that's a lot of hits! :O 1500+ on Iron Man, 1000+ on Incredible Hulk, 500+ on the slate and 50+ on my latest fic. Not gonna lie, it's a lot of pressure... but thank you all so much for reading and loving my work!

Nothing new to share other than I'm working on War Machine — and that the next chapter should be released tomorrow. I'm writing these well in advance so I have time to make proper edits and last-minute changes before I release them, which should work out and allow me some breathing room. I think there's a good chance that if I'm consistent enough, I will indeed finish it in January! If this new schedule works out that well, it also means I will have plenty of time to get a head start on the next fic I do.

Thank you everyone! :'D

29/12/23: I'm going to be releasing something new here right at the end of the year, before 2024 begins. I won't say much more about it until then!

The last update was referring to this post

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

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ao3feed-thehobbit · 11 months

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Of two worlds

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/FZul7it

by Noandisaidno

Gale doesn’t want to go with her mentor on a journey. There are some things even a wizard like Gandalf can’t protect his apprentice from: her family. Most of her life has been spent either with her mother and her father (one of the princes under the mountain) or as Gandalfs apprentice. She’d met her fathers brother, Thorin Oakenshield, only once and once was enough. It’s hard to love someone who despises you for what you are or for the choices your father made. What if the rest of her family have the same opinion of her, specifically of what her mother was? Well, she’d find out eventually. It’s not like she has a choice in the matter. Gandalf is convinced this trip is exactly what she needs, seeing as she has spent most of her years with little interaction and doesn’t know how to work magic yet. She’ll just have to figure out how to survive her stoic uncle, over enthusiastic older cousin, defeat a dragon, and learn magic all without letting them know she’s half elf. (Btw I’m still new to AO3 so I don’t know how a lot of tags work! This is all platonic found family and Gale is my OC)

Words: 16740, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Of two worlds (the hobbit)

Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Other

Characters: Thorin Oakenshield, Kíli (Tolkien), Bilbo Baggins, Fíli (Tolkien), Gandalf | Mithrandir, Thorin's Company

Relationships: Original Character - Relationship, Thorin Oakenshield & Original Character(s), Kili Durin and original characters, The Durin Family (Tolkien) & Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: During The Hobbit

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/FZul7it

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #the hobbit

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ao3feed-tolkien · 11 months

Text

Of two worlds

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/w1smfA8

by Noandisaidno

Words: 16740, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Of two worlds (the hobbit)

Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Other

Characters: Thorin Oakenshield, Kíli (Tolkien), Bilbo Baggins, Fíli (Tolkien), Gandalf | Mithrandir, Thorin's Company

Relationships: Original Character - Relationship, Thorin Oakenshield & Original Character(s), Kili Durin and original characters, The Durin Family (Tolkien) & Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: During The Hobbit

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/w1smfA8

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Tolkien #JRR Tolkien #Tolkien works #ao3 #fan fiction

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quotesthatgotmehelpless · 3 years

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When I first heard that people actually ship the Squip and Jeremy my reaction was

“Well it’s proven that this whole fandom is fucking on drugs”

And my second reaction was

“Eh I might as well fuck canon and see what this is all about”

And I’m so grateful that I didn’t just prejudge but actually did see what this ship is about because everything about it is so beautiful.

You would think it doesn’t make sense but it perfectly does because you see, Jeremy Heere isn’t normal.

That, we can all agree. From beginning to end, Jeremy desperately tried to be normal. He tried to fit in and stay in the line. But that’s just not who he is.

I personally struggle to see Jeremy as the popular guy at school who ends up marrying his high school sweatheart.

Falling in love with the quantum computer in his brain, however, is SUCH A Jeremy thing to do.

You know how you want something so bad and when you finally have it you realize it’s not what you were looking for at all?

I think that’s exactly how Jeremy would feel after Voices in My Head.

What he needs is something a bit more exciting and than that, like a sarcastic super-computer from Japan maybe?

Anyways, I’m leaving my all time favorite fanfics below I really hope you give these a chance because GOD YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON SOME GOOD STUFF

Well it’s kinda ironic that only one of my top three is actually jeresquip HAHA okay here we go

My number one is Touch and Under Pressure (the sequel) written by @kadabralin as always.

Like if you’re gonna read one, read this. It’s also on wattpad if that’s what you prefer!

—

My second favorite is Replaced and Upgrade (the sequel) written by GreenNanoTech

It is Michael x Squip in the best way possible. (Upgrade isn’t completed btw!!)

—

My third favorite and currently reading is The Mechanics of Compromise by eatreadandsleeprepeat

The author specifically states in the tags that Squip and Jeremy’s relationship isn’t romantic in this story.

Not that I read the tags first. I just thought this was TOO slow even for a slow burn and then checked if it was really jeresquip and was like- oh shit AHAHHS

Still, their Squip is so well written and in character that even just reading their friendship with Jeremy is sooo comforting.

—

And the last one is It’s From The Stars by pikaace

I’m not a big fan of AUs but this one was inspired by E.T. so if you enjoy that kinda stuff check this out!

There’s also a one chapter sequel but it’s most likely discontinued. It’s not like a cliffhanger tho so don’t worry HAHA

—

These were all the long fics I was going to recommend. I loved the plot and how the events were unfolding in all of them.

I know there’s a thing called magic of fanfiction but I don’t like it when it’s like “Squip showed up on Jeremy’s doorstep and he was human.”

Like bro, ELABORATE. I NEED THOSE ANSWERS.

With that being said, let’s move on to some shorter fics that I’m pretty sure are all adult content.

I’m a Learning Computer by loli_gag

Valentine’s Day by loli_gag

NO ONE COMPARES by JerbearisHeere

This one includes spoilers from the book!!

And that’s the end of my ranting! Thank you if you’ve read this far and check my account for more fic recs!

Oh and please please please recommend me some good fics. Finals are coming and I need all the serotonin I can get in my life RN.

#be more chill #be more chill fanfiction #fanfic reccomendation #ao3 fics #enemies to lovers #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #the squip #bmc squip #jeremy x squip #technical difficulties #squipemy #jeresquip #squipjere #squipjer #broadway #musicals #spotify playlist

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sarahjtv · 3 years

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BNHA Chapter 320 Short Spoiler Analysis: The Power of Friendship

The battle between Deku Vs. Class A has begun! Well, it’s technically a battle, but more so a “Catch-A-Deku” situation. Everyone is trying to use their cool Super Moves and words of friendship to try to convince Deku to come back home. They’re all reminding him all of times he helped them, so they’re trying to return the favor. So far, I think half the class was featured here including Shoto who I thought would be saved til the end. Maybe he will be featured again since he’s one of Deku’s closest friends. What’s interesting is that the trio that was shown at the end of last week’s chapter, Bakugo, Ochako, and Iida, didn’t have their heart-to-hearts with Deku this week, so I bet you they’re being saved for the end. Anyway, my left hand is still on the mend, so I’ll keep this one short this week. I hope it heals soon.

The 2nd Color page is shown this week! It’s of Froppy this time around! I think it’s been a while since we’ve seen Froppy featured in a color page, so this is cool to see. She looks really good here too. Horikoshi’s art rarely disappoints. Next week is going to be the 7th BNHA Anniversary color page and the 7th Popularity Poll announcement, so I’m excited for that. Apparently we’re going to get a lot of BNHA things next week including things for the WHM movie, Team-Up Missions, and the WHM one-shot manga.

I love how at the beginning, Bakugo breaks the 4th wall here by commenting on how Deku’s “art style” underwent a complete change. It’s both a good taunt on Bakugo’s part and some acknowledgment from Horikoshi-sensei on the change of Deku’s design in general since this arc began.

So, Bakugo did tell the rest of 1-A about Deku’s other Quirks which is good. I thought that would be the case after remembering that Bakugo read All Might’s OFA archive book. Bakugo would still look over the other Holder’s Quirks, so he would have knowledge on the 4th-6ths Holders. Problem is that none of them know of the 2nd and 3rd’s Quirks, so dealing with Fa-Jin will be troublesome. None of us know what the 2nd’s Quirk is yet though, but I have a feeling we’ll see it in this battle.

Quite a few new Super Moves debut in this chapter!

Katsuki Bakugo: Shockwave Landmine: Looks like Bakugo creates a blast on the ground so that the blast blows away anything around it like Deku’s Smokescreen. It’s a big blast too, so Bakugo’s got a lot of range with this thing.

Kiyoka Jiro: Heartbeat Wall: It’s hard to tell, but I think it’s a move where Jiro uses her sound waves to block or stop whatever comes her way. It could be really effective to stop anyone who can hear I’m sure.

Fumikage Tokoyami: Ragnorok: “Womb”: It’s a like a capturing move that traps anyone within Dark Shadow. It kind of looks like one of the moves Tokoyami uses in The Strongest Hero Game. Unless someone has a light Quirk, I can see this move being very effective in capturing villains.

Really, everyone is doing their best to remind Deku of all the good times they had with them. They’re using the power of feels and friendship to bring their sacrificial idiot home. I like to believe it’s working given how Deku is finally shown crying tears of sadness as he pushes his friends away. God, please let this kid have a good cry. How they’ll be able to catch Deku though I still have no idea.

Deku is able to overpower pretty much everyone this chapter. Even Tokoyami, who is considered one of the strongest in the class, and Momo who created this insanely complex machine to try to put Deku to sleep (how the hell did she make that anyway???). At the end he’s captured by Shoto’s Heaven-Piercing Ice Wall (which he’s standing on btw and looks so damn pretty 💙☺️), but I doubt that will last. Deku’s probably going to break right through the ice next chapter.

Speaking of Shoto, since I’m such a simp for him 😔, he has the least amount of dialogue out of everyone having heart-to-hearts with Deku. But what he says is significant: he basically asks Deku if he can still truly cry and for Deku to share the responsibility with his friends. I think this is calling back to when Shoto reassured Deku that heroes are allowed to cry back in the Overhaul arc and when Deku meddled with Shoto’s life to save him. Which is essentially the philosophy everyone’s running on. Meddling in Deku’s mission is the only way to save him now.

Side note, but I love that Kaminari is the one to tell Deku to take a freaking bath 😂! Like, we’ve all been telling Deku that, but it’s good to know that Horikoshi and his characters are thinking the same thing. Now someone has to tell Deku to eat a good meal and take a long nap.

Also, small detail, but Sato comes in at one point and reminds Deku that they won’t be able to make candied apples for Eri anymore if Deku doesn’t come back. Deku tells Sato that Eri will be fine without him 😭. No, Deku, you dumbass! Eri needs her big bro in her life! I can’t imagine how sad she must be if she already knows about Deku’s disappearance 😭❤️

I’m also glad to see pretty much every student get some kind of spotlight especially the ones who are more minor characters than the others. Koda actually gets a mini-monoluge this chapter. Also, Froppy’s got a lot of focus at the end along with the color page this chapter. Which, I’m glad to see. It’s been a long time since Tsuyu got some spotlight. Really, all the girls need more spotlight. I assume everyone else will get their shine the next few chapters.

It’s small and I’m still trying to find the meaning of it, but there’s one panel after Deku escapes from Tokoyami showing him flying through the air in the background and you can see the All Might statue at the forefront. I want to say this symbolizes Deku being All Might’s successor or something, but I’m not sure. This one just stood out to me for some reason.

But yeah, like I said, the last half of the class will probably be featured next chapter. I think Bakugo will be the last person to talk to Deku since he’s the most important one here. Remember: Bakugo knows Deku better than anyone. He will be the turning point I’m positive. Iida and Ochako will definitely have an impact on Deku, but Bakugo will truly HIT DIFFERENT! I won’t be surprised if that last conversation leads up to Deku Vs. Kacchan Part 3. I wouldn’t be mad if that will happen tbh. Part 2 was about understanding Bakugo and letting his feelings out. Part 3 could be Deku’s turn. And of course you gotta have a trilogy to cap it off. I’m really excited to see what happens next!

Me seeing all my adopted children come together to save my green broccoli boy 💚🥦:

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nyerus · 3 years

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The Absolute Clownery....

Ya’ll so someone actually tried to plagiarize TGCF?!!?

Gonna try to keep this insanity short but OH my god. Some people (possibly young teenagers; no ages were given on any profiles, so just please keep that in mind) on Instagram started promoting a work of theirs called “The Third Ascension”... featuring main character Xue Yuan, a crown prince who ascended to godhood and then fell from grace over 800 years ago, and meets a ghost king by the name of Ze Cheng....

If you’re thinking “well golly that sounds a lot like something we know” YEAH SDLFKJSDLKFJSDLKFJSD

The “author” wholesale ripped of TGCF and changed Xie Lian + Hua Cheng’s names (AND ONLY THEIRS, BTW). I really hope no one bought the fake books off Rakuten’s Kobo (e-book) site. You can self-publish on there, and the “author” also spared no effort to make fake reviews. Well. Some effort was apparently spared because they were all made on the same day and clearly fake as hell.

And yeah, they did tag @/scholasticinc on instagram -- you know, the children’s books publisher, with titles like “Captain Underpants” and “Clifford the Big Red Dog.” Please just. Take a moment to imagine a world where Scholastic would publish a Chinese xianxia novel featuring horror, gore, violence, suicide, sexual content, and psychologically distressing material -- just to name a few things! BUT APPARENTLY, no need to worry about the gay stuff, because the “author” so generously made Hualian’s romance into a bromance. Like. Legitimately took TGCF and said “everyone’s het tho!” No genderbending, just het-ification. Idk.

I really cannot. I’m moving on for my sanity’s sake. I’ve already lost so much time to how many hysterical breakdowns I’ve had because of this in the last hour and a half.

Meanwhile, the “artist” ripped off not only STARember, but various other fanartists. They have a slew of stolen artworks on their instagram even from artists like GEAROUS. Absolutely baffling.

However, Things Are Happening already, so we can rest assured. Because both of them have set their profiles to private, the carrd and wixsite they had to promote it are down, the discord server was purged (unclear if deleted, people tried to raid it and got kicked lol), and the books were taken off listings from Kobo’s sites. There are multiple sites in different languages though, so it will probably take a little bit of time to get them all down. Fans on Weibo have also been made aware of it.

What’s infuriating is the idea that these people profited off of stolen works, and had thousands of followers. The “author” has over 18k followers on insta!!! Like wth!? Surely amongst those 18k, there was at least one gullible person that fell for this and gave them money. Yeesh. If these people are indeed kids, then I hope they’re really young and stupid -- and that they learn from these. Parents please pick up your kids omg. If they’re adults, then I really do not know what to say.

Technically, it’s still a developing situation, and I don’t have more screenshots because things moved SO fast. By the time I was done screaming and processing the whole situation, telling people I knew, and reporting what I could, that shit was gone LMFAO!!! Fandom moved hella fast, thank goodness. I don’t know what’ll come of it, and I’m really just making this post to archive the fact that this happened at all because I’m not entirely convinced that it’s not just a stress dream I’m having right now.

This twitter user is doing a really amazing job of cataloguing what the hell is going on, so please check out their thread if you wanna see more: https://twitter [.] com/wwxwashere/status/1376948807729045512?s=20

Also rest assured that Suika and the other translators know about it already: twitter [.] com/yummysuika/status/1376952468899295234

Thank you very much to Otonozhin on the Suibian discord sever for bringing it to my attention, as well as others on there + the HOBL server + on twitter who helped spread the word and report all this.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob #psa #i feel like i need a nap now #but like the whole situation happened in like a span of two hours LMFAO it was so fast #they got away with this for MONTHS though #until a tgcf fan noticed and spread it now #im baffled

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sterekficrec · 3 years

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Last Chance Asks!

Hey guys, these are asks that have been on our lost fic list for a very long time, I'm going to put them here so we can still save them and that we'll create more room for new lost fics that have yet to be found. If you find any of these let me know by using the number and mention it's from the last chance list, thank you in advance :)

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Hey, I've been looking for this fic for months and can't seem to find it. It's about stiles leaving BH to get away from the supernatural but in the city he goes to he meets an old female alpha who knew Talia. He becomes frds w her and lends her a book which she gives to Derek who spills coffee on it and when he goes to the bookstore he meets stiles there. I think the pack moved too and is living in a house together for school. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it, help please and thanks

I've just started reading this fic, it's pretty short when my laptop died so I can't find it now. Um, it was about like after apocalypse with zombies and stiles is bitten so he has to kill himself. I'm sorry if it's vague but I'm really itching to finish it. A lot of angst if it helps?? thank you

looking for a fic with KindaNerd!derek who Stiles helps one day after school and they start hanging out and as time passes Derek grows to be handsome. Then when they graduate Derek tells the school about how Stiles saved his life that day he called him, and tears from Laura and Erica happen and Sterek kisses ensure. Do you happen to know what fic I mean and the name of the fic? xx

Hey I'm trying to find a fic. I think the name was daddy issues, but I'm not sure. Maybe it was daddy issues. It was one where stiles was with a bunch of guys (including Derek Hale, Chris Argent and others I don't remember) thanks!

hey I was wondering if you could help me find a fanfiction where stiles works for like a suicide or depression hotline and derek calls one day and the two of them kind of bond? I've been looking everywhere for it and I cant seem to find it!

10.

hey! ive been looking for a fic for a real long while. the whole pack goes away to a cabin for a bonding experience, with people sharing rooms. there is a beach, and places to go shopping. lydia and/or allison go shopping with stiles at somepoint and get him things so he looks super hot at a club. white pants and something painted on him. and then derek freaks and leaves them all. lemme know if you know this one???

11.

Hiya.! Well, I read this fic about a year ago and it was amazing and I want to read it again but I forgot the name, it's a fic were Scott was never bitten and stiles gets kidnapped and taken to some werewolf camp in Newyork and becomes Derek's mate and eventually meets his family. Can you please help me? And btw. Your blog is amazing. It gives me life.

12.

Hi I was wondering if u knew a series on archive of our own where stiles gets kidnapped with Boyd and Erica and comes back With them and joins that pack and becomes Derek's mate and then later in the series he yells at Derek and Cora about taking the pack away from him if he doesn't act nicer to them thanks sorry for the crappy summary

13.

okay i dont know how far out of canon you like to go or how AU you like, but do you recall a sterek fic that had stiles getting tattooed for magical purposes and part of the tattoo requires 3 blood donors (father-sheriff, brother-scott, lover-derek) but he hasnt told derek the lover bit yet and the chick tattooing him is like some elf girl i think named leeloo or something.... i just cant find it in the tattoo stiles track or the magical stiles track. it was either a series or one big ass one.

14.

do you know a sterek fanfic where Stiles is an omega werewolf and he stumbles upon the hale territory and Derek Hale plans to take him in for only one night but Stiles makes breakfast and the pack love him and cliche blah?

16.

hi, wondering if you can help me find an older fic, it's one where Stiles is magical and Derek's pack is grown up, I think Boyd and Erica have a kid, and someone tries to set the pack house on fire but now its magiced fireproof, but the forest burns, and the hunters come but Stiles uses his magic to bring the forest back to life and ties himself to the land... Sorry that's a weird synopses but it's all I can remember clearly

17.

Hey can you find a fic where the pack was using stiles in training like hunting him but a werewolf jumps him in the woods and stiles thinks it's derek and submits and it turns out it wasn't derek and since stiles submitted derek says the alpha has like a certain amount of days to get stiles to say yes and that was as far as I got please find this!

18.

hey so I'm looking for one fic, I hope you can help find it :) it's about Stiles being sacrificed to the werewolves to keep the town safe and there's whole werewolf village. there was no Hale fire, Laura has a husband and kids. later Scott was bitten by some rouge (or Peter I don't remember) and came to the village 'causee hunters wanted to kill him. I remember that when they were fighting other weres or maybe hunters (or was it just fullmoon?) Stiles saved Laura's kids from being killed. help?

19.

do you know the fic were in which Derek helps hook stiles up with some dude & in the process he reveals that he's into stiles & stiles kind of ignores it so Derek eats ice cream and watches Disney movies and stiles happens in on him & is all, "what."

20.

i'm looking for a fic that i think is a 5+1 cuddles thing? all i can remember from it is that there's a fae fight in alison's bedroom and derek got ripped apart so stiles pushed him into the closet and is trying to hold derek's guts in? i've asked a lot of ficrec blogs but no-one can find it for me, so thanks in advance if you can!

21.

Can you please help me I already tried twficfinder, LJ, etc. Its a sterek fic made in 2012 where Stiles helps Derek get his families life insurance, parents will or just money cause he's living in a bad place & has no income. Derek feels guilty & doesn't feel deserving of that. Stiles drives them to where the person in charge of fixing that is. Derek might be rich. They buy wood for the floor of the Hale house. Scott or Sheriff ask why he's helping Derek. Its not Out of Milk or Hale Construction

23.

I'm looking for a fix where stiles hires a dom, but she declines and instead he goes to derek? I think at one point, they make a list of things that are allowed, and everyone can see the bruises left behind, but stiles is really happy. Any help is much appreciated!

24.

Do you know the one where Derek hurts stiles ankle before a carnival or fair and takes stiles but ends up attacking him but is stopped by a psychic and she puts Derek's wolf in stiles so that stiles is the alpha

26.

hi i was wondering if youve read a sterek fic where derek basically tells stiles that his mom dying was nothing compared to him basically killing his family cause of the fire. i cant seem to find it anywhere.

27.

I've been looking for this fic everywhere and I can't find it! It's attempted non con with stiles and a original character but stiles hits the guy with a rock and kills him by mistake and calls derek panicking and derek helps cover it up. Do you know it?

29.

Okay, so I need help. I have been looking for this fic for over a year and i was wondering if you knew it. It's where stiles is a kid and his mother is in the hospital dying, and derek is in a coma from the fire and they connect on a telepathic level and stiles brings him out of his coma and stiles mom dies and the derek moves and checks up on stiles yearly. HELP ME PLEASE?? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

31.

Hi! So I'm trying to find a fic (it was lengthy) but I'm pretty sure it was a 5+1 trope, and its like five times Sheriff recognizes Derek as a son? All I can recall is at one point Sheriff thinks Stiles killed Derek and he offers to help him hide it?

33.

I read a Sterek AU ages ago but I can't find it now, I was wondering if you'd read it and could possibly send me a link? It's the one where Stiles sets up an online dating account to mock people and he starts talking to who he thinks is Derek. The two become really good friends but when Stiles goes to meet Derek he finds out that Derek has no idea who he is and Laura started the account for a joke, and is engaged.

34.

Hey! I was just wondering if you could find a fic for me? All I remember is that it was really short, about soulmates and stiles was playing a drum in the snow! Thanks! I've been looking for it for ages!

35.

Hi bb can you help me find a fic? Derek & Laura(?) are twins. Stiles has magic powers & is bff w/ Laura, who later dates Lydia or Allison. Derek paints Stiles in an attic or something & Laura is jealous bc she doesn't want sterek to happen. Thanks!

36.

i think its backround sterek, but do you know the fic where the pack is afraid to touch stiles because they think they're hurting him but really it's touch starved!stiles

38.

Hey, I've completely forgotten the name to fic, I remember that stiles is a lil bit of a delinquent so the sheriff gets derek who's a college student I think to watch over him and they have sex and they're sort of like fuck buddies and at some point it's Derek's birthday and he has a party at his apartment??? idk do u guys know this fic lmao please help!!!

39.

Hey so love your account Anyway I was wondering if you knew the story where the pack like finds a mysterious knife and stiles cuts himself and then gets thrown into the past and is trying to get Paige and Derek together? I hope that made sense Again love the account, such a life saver!

40.

Hey I was wondering if you knew the title of the fic where (I think its Stiles) who's a single father and his daughter is obssessed with bunnies and at some point Derek makes a lil park in the backward for the bunnie?

41.

Ok so I'm looking for a fic where it's after the hale fire and Derek lived in a small cabin by himself then he sends for omega human stiles and they live with each other cause Derek needs pack and he stays in his wolf form a lot of the time. It's like a super slow burn and angst you. Can you help a bro out?

43.

Hey, I read this fic once on ao3 about Stiles having tons of nightmares from the nemeton after Derek leaves. Then he starts calling him when he has panic attacks. He has to do the underwater sacrifice to get rid of the nightmares and when he comes out of the water Derek's there waiting for him and then they get together... It's seriously driving me crazy that I can't find it!!! Do you know what fic I'm talking about??

44.

hey im looking for a fic and I've been googling increasingly strange things but i just cant find it so i was hoping you might have read it? im pretty sure its quite short, but basically allison goes to stiles to ask about werewolf sex and then stiles makes derek give him the werewolf sex talk so that he can clue the rest of the pack in. thank you xx

45.

Hi! I'm looking for a specific fic! It's like Stiles is at a club, and he's sitting at the bar and sees his ex walk in and he gets really panicky because he starts walking over so he grabs the closest guy to him and kisses him? And it turns out the guy he kissed was Derek? I can't find it anywhere!

46.

Hi i was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I dont really remember much just that it was sterek and that cora read some spell that sent Derek back in time and he ended up mating to Stiles but when they have children Cora fixes it and Derek goes back to him normal time and tells cora that he has to go back because he has a mate but cora tells him that he has to wait until the full moon i think and in the end he and cora go back to stiles time and stay there

47.

I was wondering if you might know of a fic I am looking for. It's one of those Sheriff Finds Out ones and it's in his POV. I remember that it had Melissa in it and she let the Sheriff into a house/Room where the pack (they are a pack in this) was all cuddling in groups. I remember once specific moment where he observes Alison and Scott and notices their closeness with Isaac. And I am pretty sure Stiles is asleep on Derek. I know this is not very descriptive but I was wondering if you knew of one

48.

Hello I'm searching for a sterek fic I read a while back and I can't find it 😔 it's a fic where Stiles discovers he's a wizard or a shaman or something like that and he's linked to plants somehow and there are many pack interactions like pack cuddles and stuff so many pack feels and then the pack is being attacked and the forest is destroyed and Stiles manages to grow it back and he's like part of the forest it's such a great fic so beautifully written, do you happen to know what's this fic?

49.

Hello, lovely. I have been trying to fing a fic where Dean and Cas from Supernatural are Stiles parents and Derek knocks him up. While Stiles goes through the pregnancy, a Big Bad from the past comes back and messes with Stiles. Sorry, this is vague.

50.

I was wondering if anyone remembered a story where Stiles was half-daeva (I believe), Scott was his Permissor, but no one else in the pack knew until another pack kidnaps them and stiles shows up to destroy them all. I remember reading it ages ago but I can't find it in my bookmarks :/

51.

Hi, can you help me find sterek fanfic? It's coffee shop au, Stiles is barista, Derek is customer who wants plain coffee but Stiles always goes crazy with toppings, there us Peter too, creepy but good, can't find it on ao3 (╯︵╰,)

52.

Ok I've been searching for this one fantastic fic I read ages ago but can't find and was hoping you guys might know! It's established relationship w pack mom Stiles and he's away at college but they all just kind of move in w him and he buys Erica tampons and Boyd McDonald's gift cards and brings Chinese food and is generally lovely?? I think it was a one shot and relatively short but I'm dying to read it again :(

53.

Hello! I'm looking for a sterek fic. I think it was a 5+1 type fic where people/random strangers thought the pack members were Derek and Stiles' children. Please and thank you! :)

54.

Idk if you find sterek fics but i can't remember it, please help. Stiles is kidnapped by faeries but then talks them into a peace treaty? I think it was on archive but I'm not getting anything.

57.

Hi! I can’t seem to find a fic I love and was wondering if you could help me find it? Stiles is in a bar with friends, I remember Lydia and Jackson being there, and is insisting he is a Alex god who can get any number he wants and jackson tells him to get that guys number and points to Derek and stiles basically goes up to him and says “I am trying to convince my friends I’m attractive can you give me a fake number?” and he does but it turns to be real???

58.

I’ve been looking for this fic where stiles has been out of town for a while and when he gets back he stops at this gas station on the edge of town and gets jumped by some redcaps I think? And then the guy who runs the station comes out and sees this kid covered in blood and calls Derek because strange kid I’ve never seen before covered in redcap blood, maybe come check this out? And Derek didn’t know stiles was coming back early because it was supposed to be a surprise. Thanks so much!

59.

I love your blog and I was hoping you'd help me with this fic I've been looking for forever. Stiles is either an orphan or his dad is irresponsible, and he's not exactly highly regarded but the Hales and of course Derek love him and welcome him at their house. But Stiles feels guilty/unworthy and doesn't always want to accept their help. At one point, he turns feral or something and Derek has to coax him out, and one of the Hales have a baby who loves Stiles (I think Peter's or Laura's). Thanks!

60.

hey :) there's this old fic i want to re-read where stiles is a mage(or someone who controls elemental magic) and hes hurt/rejected by Derek and leaves with someone where there are other people with elemental magic and he trains. If it helps: I remember in the big fight they wore shirts that matched with their powers. Could you please help me? thanks

#lastchance #sterek fic rec

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dragonologist-phd · 3 years

Text

tagged by @yanara126, thank you! I’ll tag @lunarowena, @antivan-beau, @undyingembers, and anyone else who has an AO3 account and hasn’t been tagged!

How many works do you have on AO3.

103 (although a lot of them are short prompt fills less than 500 words, so I wouldn’t exactly call them full fics. more like a bunch of little ficlets lol)

What’s your total AO3 words count?

426,595 (drive up quite a bit by the logs of our pillars ttrpg!)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) After, And After That: Critical Role, post-epilogue one-shot centered on Grog/Keyleth:

“So you’re here with Keyleth?” “Yeah,” Grog replied, not thinking much of the question until he noticed the way Vex was looking at him. “What?” “I mean… you’re here with Keyleth?” she pressed, raising an eyebrow. Oh.

A collection of moments after the epilogue, as two members of Vox Machina grieve and heal and grow, and eventually find something neither ever could have expected.

2) Critical Role Relationship Week 2018: Critical Role, a collection of drabbles done for a fic event week (my favorite of which, btw, is Day 5: The Rules of Courtship):

CR Relationship Week 2018! A week's worth of one-shots focused on the relationship between 2 random characters.

Day 1- The Vicious Truth: (Fjord & Mollymauk) Day 2- Kittens Are Cute (And So Are You): (Grog/Keyleth) Day 3- Page Turner: (Caleb & Taryon) Day 4- A Comma After Dearest (Jester/Calianna) Day 5- The Rules Of Courtship: (Pike & Kaylie) Day 6- Late Nights and Bloody Knuckles: (Grog & Yasha) Day 7- Give And Take: (Jester & Nott)

3) Please, Be Enough: Critical Role, one-shot, Vex-centric character study:

For so much of her life, Vex'ahlia has tried to be enough.

4) Beautiful Things: Mass Effect Andromeda, collection of drabbles written as I played through the game with Rebecca Ryder and which I’m currently trying to re-write now that I’ve expanded on my headcanons a bit more:

It's an entirely new horizon, after all, and anything is possible. There are infinite breakthroughs yet to be made, and Becca is in the perfect position to make them.

A collection of one-shots centering around the Pathfinder career of Rebecca Ryder.

5) The Greatest Friend Ever: Critical Role, one-shot focused on Jester and The Traveler:

Jester laughs in delighted surprise, and for a moment it feels like someone is laughing alongside her.

A look into the past of Jester and the god who became her best friend.

(the moral of the story is that CR is by far the most active fandom I’ve been in!)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! Usually just a short ‘thank you’, but I still try to respond to anything I get!

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, a lot of my fics fall into the ‘angst with a happy ending’ category, so that’s a bit hard to say... best fit for this would probably be To The Bride (Dragon Age, F!Cousland/Anora)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Again, hard to say! I have a lot of short fics that sweet & simple endings. Coffee And Honey Cake (Pillars Coffeshop!AU) is probably the fluffiest all the way through, since that’s kind of my apology to Nona for her canon-verse being so angsty XD

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Not really...I do quite a bit of AU’s, but that’s not really the same. Closest I’ve come is with The Dunryd Archives, my Pillars MagnusArchives!AU

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol no...even if I wanted to, I feel like the secondhand embarrassment would be unbearable

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Another nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

That one’s a yes! Queen's Best Friend (Pathfinder: Kingmaker, Baroness/Kanerah) was translated into Russian- I guess in a fandom so small, we need to share the rarepairs as much as we can!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Technically yes! Prepare For The Dawn is a log of the Pillars ttrpg between me, @lunarowena @rannadylin and @serenbach86, with Bazylia_de_Grean on AO3 as the gm!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

*shrug*? I never really had a favorite ship, since my fav ships vary depending on my mood and what I’m into at the moment

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I will finish all my WIPs! I cannot be stopped! (Although I admit Prodigy has been on the back burner for a good while, but still. It will be finished!)

What are your writing strengths?

I think do pretty good characterization, especially with inner dialogue, and character relationships- I have been told I write good banter, which feels like a fantastic compliment XD

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot, my goodness. I admire people who write original plots so much- I can make OC’s and world-build in my head, but I almost never have a plot to go with it

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t really have any? Obviously it works best if the author is actually fluent in the language and doesn’t just use Google Translate, but I don’t care much one way or the other

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, which is probably like...the basic bitch of fandoms, lol, but middle school me loved it!

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooh, that’s really tough! I like a lot of my fics for very different reasons. Of Diamonds And Dust (Dragon Age Origins novelization with Aeducan & Brosca) is the one I’ve been working on the longest, and I’m always going to be very fond of it. I think Divinity (Pillars, Goddess!Nona AU) has some of my best writing. And With Grace In Your Heart (Pillars, Desta character study) will always have a very special place in my heart because it was the first fic I wrote for Pillars and was when I really established Desta’s character.

So there’s 3 to choose from!

#thanks for the tag!#this was very fun #i always love rambling about my fics

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thebadchoicemachine · 4 years

Text

Cryptid Jon (Blind Eye AU)

An AU where Jon prevents himself from finishing the watcher’s crown. He shut the eye but in doing so kind of resets everything and he gets erased from existence somehow.

If you wanna do something more with this be my guest btw, write, draw, whatever. Don’t even have to credit i'm just throwing stuff out here.

Things get reset back to episode one basically

Although Jon doesn’t and has never existed there’s no real butterfly effect from this, things are the same but he’s absent.

Archivist!Sasha?

None of the Fears nor their avatars are aware of him, not even the web or eye.

In fact he’s a blind spot for the eye, at least to Jonah.

He’s still got those good good Archivist powers and can fight avatars, it just doesn’t feed the eye like it used to. Just him. They’re HIS powers now.

He decides he should keep his distance because w h a t t h e h e l l he is NOT rushing into this one. Keeping his card close as he can.

Basically tries to secretly help out the Archivist Crew with as much self control as he can. (LOTS of angst from the shadows about Tim, Sasha, Martin)

Lives in the tunnels and chats with Leitner some before he gets piped.

“accidentally” Fails to mention to Leitner that there’s a pipe with his name on it.

Meets Michael and they’re kinda buds now(?)

He kind of reveals himself preventing the Jane Prentiss attack.

Manages to stop the Not!Them from taking anyone.

Everyone’s just worried and confused like “oh no there’s another monster and he knows all about us?”

except Elias who is kind of freaking out because he has no idea who that is and he can’t See it either what the fuuuuuuu but files it in the back of his head as some weird Darkness Avatar and maybe it can mark Sasha.

Elias is trying to build the watchers crown with Sasha now btw because he has no idea of what happened before.

•••

Well shit, Basira is looking into him now because he managed to still be blamed for Leitner’s murder.

This wouldn’t be a problem if Daisy (currently unchecked avatar of the Hunt) wasn’t helping her GF.

Jon’s out of the tunnels now because the Archive Crew’s exploring. (Not!Them escaped and is staying away from the Eye’s domain so it’s not trapped there. Preparing for the unknowing probably.)

Jon makes some knew friends! (The other Avatars) They hate him! Very Much!

Jon’s actually become a bit infamous among the things of the fears as this (supposed) Avatar to The Eye that just keeps fucking their stuff up.

Micheal is just loving watching everyone pull their hair about this. He’s still taking people though (Helen…)

Peter complains about it to Elias. Elias has moved him up a few spaces on his his concern list.

Meanwhile Sasha, Tim, and Martin have also shifted their focus to that strange man that helped(?) them, supposedly clocked an old man to death, then vanished.

He shows up in statements sometimes and they’re debating on wether he’s a monster or some kind of monster hunter or maybe just a friendly-ish monster...

Tim think’s he’s good because he killed the worms (and stopped a circus mannequin in one statement), Martin’s cautious because he showed up at his house right before the worms attacked him and Sasha’s torn and undecided.

Sasha and Daisy have a fight like Daisy and Jon did but it gets sorted in a similar way except with less Elias hate.

Elias doesn’t face as much resistance in this au so doesn’t let his mask slip as much but he is being thrown so off by Jon.

Elias gets less hate because everyones focusing more on Jon aka strange library man aka Joe Spooky.

But I cannot stress enough how much worse this is for him than cannon.

•••

Melanie and Georgie are on a date or something when they come home to find a stranger petting the Admiral. Freaking out they jump to fight (Melanie)/call the police (Georgie) but the man stands up apologizing they froze.

Having him look directly at them made them feel like he was looking at every layer of them, from clothes to skin to bone.

It felt like he could riffle through their minds like a file cabinet but (even worse) like he didn’t need too. Like he already knew everything he wanted to about them.

He said they clearly didn’t recognize him, disappointed, like they should have, and that he just needed something familiar to be with for a while (gesturing to the cat).

He then mumbled something about recommending they avoid travel for a while and started to walk briskly (almost… awkwardly?) past them to the door.

He paused halfway out the door and mumbled to “stay away from The Magnus Institute, especially the Archivist. Don’t give them anything and whatever you do-”

He turned, and they could feel him seeing something about themselves even they didn’t know, all apologeticness gone from his character. “Do. Not. Give. A statement.”

They knew- they KNEW- with every fiber of their beings that he meant them no harm but would bring it regardless. In that moment, with every fiber of their beings, they knew.

Then he blinked and hurried out before either of them could snap to their senses.

They filled out a police report and tried to forget it but could constantly swear they caught glimpses of him around their neighborhood after that.

•••

Oh Boy The Web Keeps Trying To Wrap Itself Around Jon But It’s Not Working And It’s Pissing It Off!

The Unknowing happens much earlier

Eventually they go to stop the unknowing (guided by Elias) along with Basira and Daisy.

Nikola actually kidnapped Jon because she was obsessed with this “stranger” and thought he’d be fun for the ritual.

Micheal frees him and Helen shows up but they don’t kill each other.

Micheal liiiives.

Instead The Archive Crew finds a door opening up and the strange man from the tunnels assures them that the unknowing will fail whether they do anything or not.

He warns Sasha (and subconsciously Tim) especially to stay away from the stranger.

He lets slip a BUNCH more of way more personal information he knows about them to convince them to stay away.

He also warns them to not trust Elias. After Matin went “but Elias said-“

Sasha want to know what The Stranger means.

Tim does not like this. Neither does Daisy. They end up trying to fight Jon. Jon refuses to fight and let’s slip something about The Hunt controlling Daisy then bolts back into Helen’s door.

The Archivcrew end up being stalled enough that by the time they get there the whole place is aflame. (Thanks Jude….)

Tim and Martin have switched opinions of him. Tim distrusts him now and Martin feels he’s an ally, at least. Sasha has decided that whatever he is he’s information and goes on a search to find him with Daisy (uh oh) and Basira.

They end up going to where a break in was reported, nothing stolen and the description of a short, heavily scarred man with long hair matched their spooky man. (It’s Georgie’s house.)

Georgie and Melanie accidentally end up giving a statement which made for a very awkward moment when they said he said to not give anything to the Archivist and Sasha had to clear her throat and mention that she is the Archivist. Oops.

Meanwhile Elias is going nuts because now this blind spot has actively disrupted his plans. Jon has his full attention.

Elias (…Jonah) is patient. He’s waited so long for this, putting plans on hold to stomp out an unwanted rock in the road is fine.

1/? will probably make more of this EDIT: part 2

#tma #tma au #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #magnuspod #alternate universe #head canon #time travel #archivist!sasha #cryptid jon #blind eye au

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hannya-writes · 3 years

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Hihihi! I know it's kinda crazy and I just found your acc but I was LITERALLY thinking about a Marvel-SVU crossover and found yoooooou. I mean... The algorithm lead me to you. It's ✨ Destiny ✨ haha So I was wondering if you could write something Marvel-SVU kinda with Carisi x reader (i don't know if you watch agents of shield) where reader has to go UC for Shield and falls in love with him and he finds out she's Shield etc. I don't know if I'm making any sense rn I'm just really happy I found you. And now I sound creepy but it's already too late and I'm sending this.

Dear @lapaquerette : I do not watch Agents of shield, but I did my best! I swear I did! 😭 you totally made sense! But I feel like there's part of this story that are not so good, anyways~ let's get to the story!!

Title: Don't Tell anyone

Fandom: MCU and Law and order SVU

Pairing: Sonny Caruso x Reader

Other characters: no, I think no

Category: romance

Warnings: this doesn't have a happy ending bc I'm bad writing those! This is long I think.

Author's note: for a moment I thought of making this a serie, but my head couldn't stand it! I don't feel like I can picture Carisi in the right way so probably he's going to be very OOC. Also I'm not supper proud of this because I literally did what I wanted with the time line, Captain America: Winter Soldier happens in 2016 however Caruso es ADA in 2020 if I'm not wrong but in this case the events of winter soldier happen in 2020. Also there's like 2 years of difference btw WS and Civil War, and I tried my best! To make everything fit, but you know, you can kick my ass in comments.

• • •

The mission was supposed to last just a couple of days. Y/n had to pose as an assistant to the Junior ADA's why did they need assistance she didn't know, but when Nick fury assigned her there she just didn't dared to ask.

"Find out what's going on there" he had said as if it was a life or dead situation.

Pepto. That's what happened. High expectations was the other thing happening. The Junior ADA's where being pressed, running towards death case by case.

It was boring, the first two days Y/n had played "who's the jerk of the room?" She had found more than one, stress made that to people. Who cares about cordiality when they had to put people in jail? The answer was Dominic "Sonny" Carisi.

Sonny never yelled or snapped at people, he always asked nicely about papers, he said "Good Morning" and "thank you". He was a gentleman, a knight in a shiny armor. He made funny jokes even when he was struggling with a case.

Y/n had felt a weird desire to help him after just one encounter. The puppy eyes, she reasoned. After that day when he was in court she appeared there, sat and suddenly the people being cross-examined poured the truth without control or bursted in fit of rage confessing everything. She wasn't making something bad, she was helping, which she was supposed to do. No one was going to link her to those incidents. No one knew what she could do.

— copies, now — one of ADA's order her and she almost pushed the asshole and told him to do it himself, it was only a copy machine, he only had to push a button! However, Y/n was a trained spy, she had control over every muscle in her face to not make a disgusted expression at the tall and skinny man. 63 ways to kill him appeared in her head in a second.

— Sure thing — she said in a gently tone, entertaining her mind in the more horrible ways to deal with Tommy.

Tommy Parish, a bully in and out of court, linked to the Irish Mafia. He thought he was a big fish, prepotent but surprisingly brilliant. He was like a weasel. He wasn't that important. Shield wasn't interested by his night activities. They thought there was something else, something more important. Y/n didn't think so. The more interesting thing there was...

— Oh, Sorry didn't meant to...— Sonny said as he almost hit Y/n with the door.

— my fault, I was standing here like a creep — she took the guilt with a sheepish smile.

— A penny for your thoughts — he said as he walked outside and Y/n instinctively followed, as she usually followed after director Nick Fury,

— I think I'm being punished — she said while walking aimlessly, if Sonny had walked in the male restroom she would have probably followed him blindly.

— punish? For what? Did Tommy said something mean to you again? — the blond man sounded concerned and for Y/n it was refreshing, people around her tended to be more defensive around her than being worried about her well being.

— no! I think Tommy is warming up to me — Y/n said proudly — it's my umm... Dad, he send me to live here and I think is because he is mad at me —

There was a small silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

— why would he be mad? You are amazing! — Sonny sounded so positive and brilliant, he always seemed to have that aura around him, even in the worst cases. Y/n noticed it, and worried her when he started to lose his shine.

— in my last job, I made a mistake and people got hurt — the confession was sincere. She wasn't lying, she was omitting that those people didn't just "got hurt", they died. She had killed them.

— You are human, humans make mistakes — he said stopping in front of an embellished door. — talk later? — he asked and Y/n nodded with a smile.

•••

After a month everything still was normal. No conspicuous action, no weird people. Y/n wondered why was she there? Was she really being punished by Fury? She had made a mistake, she had chose to save a person, she couldn't know that the objective was going to detonate the whole place. She couldn't read every single thought, her brain would melt if she even tried.

— Sorry, I need to... — said Sonny pointing at the copy machine, y/n blushed for being caught spacing out, again for the 4 time in a week

— I'm so sorry, allow me — y/n extended a hand offering to make the copy for Carisi.

— don't worry, I can push a button — he said making her smile and feel weird.

— please Mr. Carisi, let me be of help — she offered tilting her head a little bit, Sonny found that little action distracting and cute enough to give her the papers he needed to copy.

He saw her move, she was so elegant even just making copies.

— thank you — he told her sighing exhausted.

— don't worry Mr. Carisi, I'll do this, get it in a folder and get it back to you, why don't you go rest your eyes a bit? — she asked with a smile, noticing his tired demeanor

— I'll do it, if you start calling me Sonny — he negotiated and she laughed whole heartedly — come on, everytime you call me Mr. Carisi I feel like you are talking to my father —

— fine, you got yourself a deal — she offered her hand and he took her in his bigger one. Sonny felt asleep with the sound of the copy machine working.

— Sonny, Sonny — Y/n soft voice took him out of dreamland, he found out in that moment that his Nickname sounded awesome from Y/n lips.

•••

From Sonny's eyes y/n was an amazing woman who was able to help everyone with their tasks, she made copies, keep archives ordered, got everything for everyone. She made time to know all of the junior's ADA's of "her room", she served coffee when needed, got them food, kept clean clothes for them just in case. She was like a mother. Sometimes she even helped them found the info they needed. She made all of that and made it with a polite smile. She had been there for like a year and their interactions where short, but he was head over heels for her.

Why? Because she got a great sense of humor, she was nice, smart, sassy when needed, had an excellent memory, she made the best black coffee he had ever tasted. She never got nervous no matter the circumstances. He didn't understand how or why was she assigned to be the "mother hen" of 7 ADA's, but he was thankful. Some days became better the moment she gave him a smile and he imagined that smile was just for him.

Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose in pain. It was past midnight and he was still in his office, working on papers. Practicing his opening statement.

— the truth... The truth....— he repeated trying to remember the next point of the speach. He grunted frustrated.

— Sonny? — the sudden voice made the attorney jump and Y/n laughed.

— Geez, doll! — he exclaimed surprised — You should use a bell — added more awake than before.

— doll? — Y/n questioned rising an eyebrow, Sonny turned red.

— Sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect you — he quickly apologized.

— you didn't, I actually like it — she admitted — I'll allow it — added in a solemn voice — with a condition councilor, only in private I don't need more gossips going around—

After saying those words, Y/n knew that she was digging her own grave. She liked Sonny.

•••

Y/n looked at her phone horrified. Nick had send her and encrypted message. Which was resumed to: You are free of SHIELD, live the life of Y/n Veith. The life he had created for her, an identity that couldn't be connected to the Spy agency. Y/n Y/l/n had died in what they called something like the purge of Hydra. He didn't needed her. He had died. Captain america had basically destroyed the corrupted SHIELD. This was her life now. She was what? a secretary? An assistant?

She should had fail with SHIELD, she should had been there with Fury, protecting him. But she didn't. She pretended nothing happened and followed his last order to her: live like Y/n Veith.

She went with the flow. Acted like everything was just fine, made a routine, followed it to the last point. Untill one day out of the blue she broke down crying in Sonny's office. He was her friend.

— what happened? — he asked on the other side of the desk, surprised that in the middle of his speech, y/n started crying. The case was difficult, a father died to protect his daughter. The teenager girl had been raped and her father was killed by the rapist. It was way more complicated but, that were the facts.

— sorry, sorry — she said cleaning her face with her hands, Sonny approached and offered her a handkerchief that she took hesitantly. — I lost, I lost him — she stuttered.

Sonny kneeled by her side, took the handkerchief and cleaned her beautiful face.

— I'm so sorry, doll — he said even if he didn't understand, Y/n felt his consternation.

— my father died — she said with a soft voice — my house burned down — she added and Sonny understood, her father adopted her, he had saved her and then lost it all. The case had hit too close to her.

— Come on, we had enough of this case — he decided getting up, taking her hands to get her to stand — I'll take you home — he said and she smiled with sadness.

— I don't want to go to my department — she confessed getting up and Sonny gave her a soothing smile.

— We can go to my place — he offered without a second intention, she nodded and they walked away from the office, Sonny ordered an Uber.

Outside of One Hogan place with a heavy heart, y/n leaned against Sonny and he hugged her while waiting for their ride, and during the ride.

Y/n fell asleep without nightmares for the first time in the 6 months after the dead of Nick. Sonny by her side, over the covers and behind a "wall" of pillows fell asleep with the image of a peaceful Y/n.

•••

Three months later, Y/n entered Sonny's little office, she said a "sorry to interrupt", the blond man stopped writing and turned to her eagerly, he tried to suppress his desire to look into her eyes but he wasn't that good at that.

He hadn't seen her in more than 14 days thanks to his overflow of cases and her being stole by homicides DA, who had discovered she was very good in investing.

She muttered a "what?" In mockery, as if the distance and time hadn't even happened and added a "I got you a donut!". A donut that he had craved since morning but wasn't able to get. He sighed a laugh, sometimes it was as if she could read his mind.

— you are life saver, doll— he sighed in relief taking the donut from her hand.

— Should I get you some coffee? — she asked with that caring tone that made him feel special.

— I would love that — he accepted as she merrily went to the coffee machine and poured him a cup and then a glass of water.

Sonny wondered about where did those pretty and elegant glasses came from, have they always been there? She left a bag in the table and walked back to him. He pretended to be working but it was hard to act when she was walking towards him with that dark red pencil skirt that hug perfectly the curb of her hips, the black blouse making contrast, hanging a bit loose over her torso.

— thanks doll — he said when she put the coffee and water in a corner of the desk, he looked at her with a smile — water? — he asked with a joking tone, y/n nodded

— yes, sir — she said in the same joking mood — I took an account of the caffeine you ingest by day, this could be dangerous for your health, so for every cup of caffeine, one of water — she explained with as much confidence as a lawyer making an opening statement.

— are you worried about me? — he was almost flirting, she blushed even if they sometimes flirted a bit.

— I worry about all of you — she pointed out and gave a mischievous smile that made Sonny blush.

— thank you, doll — he quipped with a smile, she smiled back and walked away to Parish desk, the man sat there looked down to his papers as Y/n put a bagel by his hand.

Sonny noticed how Tommy's ears got as read as a tomato and turned to look at her with adoration, the same look the other ADA's got everytime she was near. He had seen how things slowly changed with Y/n presence, at first they were rude, condescending, then they realized that she was excellent in her work. She had saved all of them more than once with little actions.

Y/n had a charming aura and some men in the office had asked her out, Tommy included, but she always turned them down, with an excellent excuse. "I'm seeing someone".

Carisi wondered who. Who was she dating?

•••

— Coffee — she announced as she took a folder and put it carefully away.

Sonny smiled and suddenly thought of Y/n lie about she seeing someone. She had never tell him about her boyfriend, he thought of all of those slice of life moments they had, the banters they have, the many times she had helped him. The times she would stay in his apartment so she wouldn't be alone.

Was he the person she was seeing?

— do you have plans for tonight? — he asked abruptly and Y/n looked at him surprised.

— I got a date with my bed, but I can reschedule — she offered with a smile, she could rest later, she had to enjoy every moment with Sonny.

— do it, I'll take you to a wonderful place — He said with all of his confidence, she giggled — after work? — she nodded contently.

— It's a deal — she said before walking away with a big smile in her face.

Sonny felt stupidly happy. It was him. She was dating him unofficially.

•••

That night Y/n tried to look as perfect as was possible in work clothes, she had refreshed herself, use a little more of make up. She was excited, she really liked Sonny and had wanted to go on a date with him, no work talk, no solving ways to state a question. She wanted to know him in a more personal way.

They sat in a table of a nice looking bar, a decent one. It wasn't pretentious, they actually served food and not just greasy fast food. She had told him distorted versions of stories with her "family and friends", (since she couldn't talk about her real life and training) like that time her father had taught her how to use a gun for her homework and she discovered she had weak fingers.

She heard about his time as a Police officer, a detective nonetheless! Sargent Benson seemed to be a very empathic person, Detective Tutuola was definitely a funny man, Amanda was for him like one more of his sisters. And Sonny discovered that she was adopted by a man called Nick, Nick Veith he guessed, since he thought that was her real last name.

She had two "adopted" sister and a brother: Maria, Natalie and Clinton. Maria was righteous, Nat was smart and sassy, Clint was funny and sometimes really annoying. Sonny thought he would get along easily with them.

They laughed between stories, they were getting fun untill Y/n felt there was something wrong. Something was about to happen. Something bad.

— Something wrong? — Y/n barely registered Sonny's voice before jumping over him yelling a "get down". A telekinetic wake made the other around people fall to the ground just in time as a rain of bullets came from the broken windows.

Sonny heard the glass breaking, people screaming in panic. Saw the bullets fly over him and the bottles in the bar breaking in slow motion. He had never experienced anything like that. The light weight of Y/n over him. And his monkey mind thought about how right that felt.

There was a "clank" from a gas' bomb, then a flash and a cloud of white smoke. People stood up and started running.

— Y/n — Sonny pulled her to see her face, he thought she would be scared, paralyzed from fear. However, when he saw her face there was no fear, she seemed confused, puzzled. — come on, we have to move —

Y/n was thinking the same, but she didn't know what was the right move: defend everyone there using her not-so-human powers? Run away and pretend to be a delicate woman, scared of the situation?

— doll? — Sonny sounded worried and in almost panic, a switch turned as boots hit the floor of the bar.

— Stay behind me — Y/n said with confidence getting up, feeling the presence of 8 people surrounding them, circling them. — and... — she looked at Sonny worried — don't get scared — she pleaded softly.

— Y/n Y/l/n surrender yourself — someone yelled and the woman felt her skin crawl, she hadn't hear her name in more than a year. It sounded good.

— is this about the accords? — She thought, aware of the Sokovia accords and what they proposed. She hadn't signed them. No one was supposed to know about her, her powers, she hadn't expected the government to notice her.

Nat? Clint? Maybe Maria had told them.

— That's right, put your hands in the air — the man ordered in a shout. Y/n closed her eyes and closed her hand in a thigh fist, making the fog disappear.

— Sorry, I can't do that— she confessed pushing the man with telekinesis. — I'm not a weapon you can use —

A new row of bullets flew towards Y/n and Sonny. A bright green light appeared in her eyes and all of the bullets stopped in the air, traces of the same light that made Y/n shine seemed to contain the little bullets like tendrills, the bullets turned in the air pointing at the squadron that was attacking her

— Y/n, no! — Sonny made her react, the tendrills disappeared and the bullets fell useless to the ground as the woman turned to see the Attorney.

— Sonny, sonny — she stuttered worried— no, no, no, no, I would never hurt them, I'm not a monster, I'm not! — she said almost in panic,not because of the attack but for the ideas Sonny could get.

Sonny saw the green and now red light form an eyes over Y/n, then monsters from nightmares formed from the light, monsters like dogs, with skulls covering the hideous animals with blood dripping from their snouts, bodies wet with a black substance. The animals roared and jumped to defend them.

Y/n saw fear in Sonny's eyes. She recognized it, a bright tendril started to form in the exact point of her heart, the fear taking form in her presence. Her hand squished the light over her chest, stopping something else to form.

He didn't know what to say. Carisi knew about the avengers, the new york incident had affected his work, he had saw everything about "ultron", he was informed about Tony Stark and the avengers every move. But he didn't know what was he supposed to say? "Sign the accords" was what he wanted to say. It was selfish for him to ask that, he couldn't do it.

— doll, you're not a monster— he finally found his own voice to say that. — but you have to go —

— Sonny, I... — the ADA put a strand of hair behind Y/n ear taking her by surprise.

— If you don't mind, I'll like to kiss you — he said making her blink in disbelief.

— yes please...— she said and Carisi smiled brightly, his large hand caressed her cheek and softly leave a tender kiss in her soft lips. It barely lasted more than a second. When Carisi opened up his eyes, everything was back to normal. Like a couple of minutes ago, right before the shooting.

In the table was a note: "Don't tell anyone" he recognized Y/n writing. He wondered if everything had been a dream, a hallucination. A part of him told him that no, that couldn't be his imagination. Y/n had left.

#law and order special victims unit #marvel fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #marvel #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny x reader #sonny carisi x y/n #sonny carisi x you #ada sonny carisi #requested #law and order svu

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sociallyawkward--fics · 3 years

Text

Last Christmas

Here it is, lol. The fic I wrote last night with Wham!’s “Last Christmas” on repeat for literally Three Hours Straight lol. It is entirely unedited except for me having a friend read it over briefly and them go “you’re missing a period here” and nothing else lol. Please be kind though, I have not written for months and any Christmas fics I’m posting are more just warm-ups to get me back to the level of writing I was before I accidentally took a break, cuz no way I’m jumping back into my Big Projects without getting myself back up to par lol

ALSO, I know Jaskier seems like,,, really aggressive towards Yen in this fic. She's not meant to be a villain! Jaskier just is jealous and sad so he takes it out on her a little bit, which is definitely not the right thing to do but I think it's a very human thing to do. After this I imagine them going for coffee or smth and just lovingly trash-talking Geralt and realizing "wow we can actually be decent friends" lol

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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types; Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game); The Witcher (TV); Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski

Relationship: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia; Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg; Triss Merigold; Zoltan Chivay; Iorveth (The Witcher); Eskel (The Witcher); Vernon Roche

Additional Tags: eskel triss iorveth and roche are barely-there btw; Jealous Jaskier | Dandelion; Mistletoe; Getting Together; Misunderstandings; Miscommunication; Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg; Alcohol; Drinking; Smoking; (very briefly) - Freeform; Communication; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings; Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia; Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia; Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion; Mutual Pining; Kissing; Hugs; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Holidays; Christmas; Christmas Party

Word Count: 3614 words

[ao3 link]

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It took an embarrassing amount of time for Jaskier to work up the courage to leave his car. Instead he sat there, heat off and car growing increasingly frosty, forehead against the steering wheel as he bemoaned his own very existence. He did not want to go to this party, which was very out of character for him.

But Jaskier couldn’t take another repeat of last year’s holiday party. And he knew the second he saw Geralt, he would be back there again.

They had both been decently tipsy, which was their first mistake, but Jaskier knew that neither of them were drunk. That’s why he had been so shocked when Geralt made the first move, pressing him up against the wall to the men’s room and ravishing his mouth. They’d gone home together to Jaskier’s flat and had a wonderful night together, but Geralt had been gone come morning.

They never spoke of that night. And by the next week, Geralt had been back in his on-again, off-again relationship with Yennefer.

Jaskier thought he’d gotten over it. As much as he didn’t regret it, it was clear that Geralt did, and he wasn’t going to push his feelings onto the man when they were so clearly unwanted. It was a miracle their friendship survived it, with how testy they had been with each other for weeks afterward.

Jaskier took a deep breath and tightened his scarf around his neck, finally leaving his car to make his way into the hotel ballroom that Foltest had booked for the night. At least their work holiday parties weren’t held in the offices, Jaskier wouldn’t have been able to force himself back to work after last year if they were.

Jaskier’s traitorous eyes immediately sought out Geralt the moment he walked in. He wasn’t hard to find, with his striking silver hair and refusal to wear anything but black. He stuck out like a sore thumb, in the sea of red and green and gold. But god, did he look good. Unfortunately, he was already occupied with the only other person in the room who refused to wear color: Yennefer.

Jaskier forced his eyes away, directing them instead towards the makeshift bar. Zoltan was already there, and, judging by the red on his cheeks, already several drinks in. Jaskier couldn’t exactly judge. He was going to need quite a few drinks to get through this night as well.

“Good old Dandelion!” Zoltan crowed as he approached, words only slightly slurred.

“Zoltan,” Jaskier greeted with an easy smile, nodding at the bartender. “When are you ever going to give up on that silly nickname?”

Zoltan snorted. “You’re the one who calls himself a flower, Julian.”

Jaskier shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Soon enough, Jaskier had a drink in his hand and an earful of Zoltan’s voice, accent only growing thicker and harder to understand the drunker he got. He was barely following what Zoltan was talking about, anymore. Something about his ex father-in-law’s business tanking? He seemed rather pleased by it, in any case. Jaskier probably would be to, if he wasn’t still so anxious.

“What’s got a stick up yer ass?” Zoltan asked after a while, winding down from his latest story.

“Just… not in a partying mood, I suppose.”

Zoltan laughed uproariously. “You? Not in a party mood? Never thought I’d see the day!”

Jaskier gave a half-hearted smile, knowing Zoltan was too far gone to notice that fact, and let his eyes wander the crowd. After a few drinks, he was beginning to feel pleasantly tipsy. The idea of lasting out the party was actually beginning to feel manageable, though he still felt like giving Yennefer and Geralt a wide berth. They always exploded at these things, and Jaskier didn’t want to be caught in the middle of that.

Again.

That was one fight their friendship almost hadn’t survived, and it was the worst six months of Jaskier’s life. And that was including the past twelve months after the last holiday party.

“Come on, Dandelion,” Zoltan said, and Jaskier’s attention was drawn back to the bar. “Sit down for a game of cards with me! Or perhaps a round of dice?”

Jaskier laughed, his first true laugh of the night. “I know better than to gamble with you, old friend. It’s about time I mingled, don’t you think? Give the masses what they desire.”

Zoltan laughed again and gave him a sloppy wink. “Go get ‘em, tomcat. I’ll find some other poor fool to swindle.”

Jaskier grinned. “I don’t doubt it.”

Jaskier slipped away from the bar and into the crowd. He greeted people with hugs and kisses on the cheek, making them laugh and shove him away with teasing grins. He twirled between groups of people in a carefully perfected dance, muscle memory even with the alcohol in his system.

Unfortunately, that muscle memory rather quickly led him to Geralt’s current circle of companions. Yennefer and Triss were there, clearly making an intense effort to not be at each other’s throats. Eskel was there, which wasn’t surprising: as much as a sweetheart as he was, Eskel’s social skills definitely needed some development, and he tended to use Jaskier and Geralt as a social crutch (despite the fact that his brother was even worse with people than he was). Iorveth and Vernon Roche were on opposite sides of the little circle the group had formed, and Jaskier dreaded that disaster waiting to happen.

Really, how did Geralt attract such dramatic people to him so easily?

Despite how suddenly off-kilter Jaskier felt being so close to Geralt, last year flashing through his mind, he knew he couldn’t show it. Geralt would notice, and then it would be awkward for them both, and Jaskier would never forgive himself for ruining Geralt’s Christmas two years in a row.

So he flitted around the group, being his charming self. His smile felt forced as he gave Iorveth and Roche (very awkward) one-armed hugs. His stomach churned as he kissed Triss on the cheek. His balance felt off as he waltzed into Eskel’s arms for one of his patented bear hugs (though that was likely the alcohol, now that he thought about it).

“How is it that you’re already drunk, Jaskier?” Geralt said as Jaskier pulled out of Eskel’s arms.

Jaskier shot him a cheeky grin. “Not drunk, my dear--friend. My dear friend. Merely tipsy.”

“With a stutter like that forming?” Yennefer teased, holding out her hand.

Jaskier indulged her dramatics and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles, chest burning white hot all the while. His smile was probably slightly too-sharp when he stood back up again, but he couldn’t be bothered to fix it.

“The heavier side of tipsy, perhaps,” Jaskier replied, smoothly sliding in beside Geralt to drape himself over Geralt’s shoulders.

A chorus of titters and chuckles went through the circle and Jaskier furrowed his brow. He rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair, searching for imperfections but finding none. He then looked toward Geralt for an explanation, but the poor man looked just as confused as Jaskier was.

“Aren’t you wondering why none of us were standing all that close to Geralt?” Triss asked, that coy smile Jaskier was all-too-familiar with making its way onto her lips.

And now that she mentioned that, it was odd. Yennefer was usually glued to Geralt’s other side, and Triss was almost always trying to butt her way in. Her jealousy tended to be a great deal more obvious than Jaskier’s, deliberately trying to provoke the two of them. Jaskier simply got drunk and wrote songs about unrequited love, he knew better than to try and put himself between them.

Roche rolled his eyes as Jaskier and Geralt still just stared at the group rather dumbly. He pointed upwards and their eyes followed his finger.

Geralt, very unfortunately, was halfway into a doorway. Taped to the top of the frame of said doorway was a little sprig of green. Jaskier felt his heart stop. He had to swallow to keep the bile from rising up in his throat. He pulled away from where he was leaning on Geralt. The group was still laughing and teasing good-naturedly, but Jaskier felt like his world was crashing down around him. He looked toward Eskel for help, being the kindest of the group.

Only Eskel just shrugged with a grin. “It is tradition.”

“Oh come on, now,” Yennefer said, her voice twisting around Jaskier’s throat like a noose. “We’re all adults here. Just get it over with.”

Jaskier slowly met Geralt’s eyes. He was impossible to read, even moreso than normal, and Jaskier felt that familiar pit open up in his stomach. He needed to get this over with and then smoothly make his escape. Perhaps claim he’d had more to drink than he thought and needed to call a cab.

“Jaskier?” Geralt asked quietly, barely more than a whisper.

Jaskier gave him a small smile and leaned forward. He pressed a feather-light kiss to the scruff of Geralt’s cheek before pulling away, his heart not able to take much more than that.

Jaskier couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he walked away.

Jaskier’s kiss was a barely-there peck to the cheek. Before Geralt could even hope to respond, he was gone.

The group’s teasing had quieted down, and Geralt dared to look up. Iorveth and Roche seemed confused, not close enough to the rest of the group to be caught up on the drama. Eskel seemed torn between beating himself up and beating Geralt up. Triss seemed guilty.

And Yennefer was just smug.

Geralt found himself grinding his teeth. Of course she was behind this (though it was clear that Triss had some hand in it, as well). Their most recent breakup, for once, had been amicable. The past few years had been hell for them, trying to make their relationship work even though they both knew it was never going anywhere. Jaskier was Yennefer’s last straw.

Geralt was more horrified that Yennefer had so easily picked up on his feelings for Jaskier than hurt by the breakup. If she had picked up on them, then surely Jaskier had?

Is that what that hauntingly sad smile Jaskier gave him before he kissed him was for? Did Jaskier pity him? Was he trying to let Geralt down easy?

“Go after him,” she said simply.

“Yen, this isn’t one of your games--”

“No,” she replied, voice suddenly terse. “So stop treating it like one and act like an adult, Geralt. I think we’ve all had quite enough of you two being like this, and it only got worse after last year’s party.”

“Which you still won’t talk about,” Triss chimed in, raising an eyebrow.

“So go talk to him.”

Geralt resisted the urge to growl. “Fine.”

Jaskier wasn’t hard to find, when you knew him as well as Geralt did. He liked to be high up when he was upset, saying it made him feel like he was getting some perspective on his problems. Geralt liked to joke that it was because he was more at home with his head in the clouds.

Jaskier was on a balcony overlooking the city, a pack of cigarettes sitting on the railing. A lit one rested between his fingers, the smoke curling into the air and entwining with the condensation trailing from his lips thanks to the cold air.

“I thought you quit,” Geralt said quietly.

Jaskier turned his head, not far enough to face Geralt but far enough to let Geralt see the wry half smile on his lips.

“You know how the holidays are,” Jaskier replied, taking a long drag from his cigarette and turning back to the cityscape.

Geralt moved forward to lean against the railing next to him, letting out a heavy sigh and watching the white vapor twist into the air. He didn’t know how to have this conversation. Between the two of them, Jaskier was by far the more emotionally intelligent one. With him shutting down like this, Geralt didn’t know what to say.

“Are you… okay?”

Jaskier snorted. “Yeah, Geralt. I’m great.”

Geralt considered the words for a few moments, turning around the tone of voice in his head. “Sarcasm,” he decided.

It was much easier to decipher when he himself was using it, rather than try to pick out when others were.

Jaskier sighed, hanging his head. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Geralt shook his head. “What’s going on?”

Jaskier took another drag of his cigarette. “Nothing, Geralt. Don’t worry about it.”

Geralt let out a frustrated growl, not sure how else to express himself in the moment. He snatched the pack of cigarettes off the railing (breathing out a sigh of relief when only one was missing -- the one between Jaskier’s fingers) and ripped the lit one out of Jaskier’s hand, tossing both items over the edge of the balcony.

“What the fuck, Geralt?!”

Geralt stared at him. “You told me last time you quit to not let you start up again.”

Jaskier groaned and put his head into his hands. “Shit. I did, didn’t I?”

Geralt hummed an affirmative.

“Aside from saving my lungs, was there something you needed, Geralt?”

Geralt leaned back against the railing, clasping his hands together. “To know what’s had you acting so weird all night.”

He felt Jaskier’s eyes on him, could see him staring out of his peripheral, but Geralt kept his eyes on the lights of the city. With all the light pollution, it was probably as close to stars as they would get without driving out to the mountains.

“You really want to know?” Jaskier asked eventually, his voice low.

“Yes.”

“Tonight I was pressured into kissing the man that broke my heart, about a year ago now.”

Geralt flinched back, finally looking over toward Jaskier. Jaskier was still staring at him, his blue eyes almost seeming to glow in the dark of the balcony.

“Who--Who broke--”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow, face remaining impassive.

Geralt hesitated. “I broke your heart?”

Jaskier sighed and turned away, looking toward the horizon. “Last holiday party, we went home together. We made love for hours. I told you I cared for you deeply. And when I woke up, you were gone.”

Geralt wanted to say something, wanted to defend himself, but his voice felt like it was glued in his throat, unable to escape.

“Barely any time had passed before you were back in Yennefer’s pocket, not a thought given to us. And we never talked about it.”

Geralt swallowed. “I didn’t realize--”

Jaskier threw his hands up in the air, a frustrated laugh escaping his lips. Geralt’s frown deepened when he saw Jaskier’s eyes glistening.

“Didn’t realize what, Geralt? I thought I was being pretty obvious about the fact that I’m in love with you!”

“Yennefer and I broke up,” Geralt said, deciding to tackle the topic he knew how to talk about first.

Jaskier snorted, leaning his back against the railing and crossing his arms. “What else is new?”

Geralt shook his head. “For good, this time.”

Jaskier only stared at him. Geralt huffed out a breath as he searched for his words, running a hand through his hair.

“You know how… Sometimes, you can have a great friendship with each other, but when you try to date you end up being really toxic and horrible to each other? That’s me and Yen.”

“Could’ve told you that three years ago. Oh wait, I did.”

Geralt sighed. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t listen, Jask. I just… I wanted it to work so bad, we both did. Even though we knew it never would.”

Jaskier looked down at his feet. “I know. I’m sorry for snapping like that.”

“It’s okay.”

Jaskier looked back up at him. “So what was the final nail in the coffin? What sealed the deal for you two?”

Geralt looked away, choosing a specific building to look at and staring at it intensely. His fingers itched to fiddle with something, but he forced them to stay still, clenching the freezing metal of the railing.

“I love Yen. But she and I both realized that I would never love her as much as I loved you.”

The silence stretched on for far too long and Geralt could feel his skin prickling with anxiety. His throat felt like it had swollen shut, making it difficult to breathe and impossible to get any words out. He wanted to look at Jaskier, see his reaction, but his body was locked in place.

“And if you love me so much, Geralt,” Jaskier said, his voice even more icy than the balcony railing leeching the warmth from his fingers, “why did you leave me?”

Geralt gave into the urge to fidget, reaching up for the pendant on his chest. His fingers were clumsy and numb from the cold, making him fumble, but the action was still soothing.

“I didn’t realize you meant it. Jaskier, you flirt with everyone. You’ve probably slept with half the company, and while I don’t judge you for that, I couldn’t help but feel like I was just the next notch in your bedpost.”

Jaskier dropped his face into his hands. “God, Geralt, I only slept with most of those people to try and get over you. You had Yennefer, and I was just me. I knew you would never choose me over her.”

“I am now.”

Jaskier stayed silent for a moment. “And if I decide that it’s too late?”

There was an uncomfortable burning feeling behind Geralt’s eyes and he did his best to push it back down.

“Then I would respect your decision, and hope we could still be friends come tomorrow. I don’t want to lose you, Jask.”

Jaskier didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I’m sorry I was so blind to your feelings.”

“And say we did do this,” Jaskier said, his voice still guarded. “What about Yennefer?”

Geralt shook his head. “There’s nothing left for me and Yen. We’re done hurting each other for a relationship that will never feel good.” Geralt couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips as he tacked on, “Plus, with the looks Triss has been shooting her, I don’t think Yennefer will be too lonely.”

Jaskier shot him an incredulous look. “Triss and Yennefer hate each other!”

Geralt chuckled. “Yeah, when I was involved. Yen can, quite frankly, be a jealous bitch, and Triss certainly wasn’t letting up on the flirting.”

Jaskier searched his face. “And Triss?”

“There was never going to be any me and Triss, and she knew that. Honestly, I think her flirting these days has been more to toy with Yen than to actually try and woo me.”

Jaskier turned his gaze toward the night sky, a muddy brown-black-orange that ruined any hope of seeing the stars “Huh.”

“They both know there’s only one person I’m looking to woo me, anyway.”

Geralt watched Jaskier break out in a goofy, giddy smile, clearly involuntarily based on the way he quickly bit his lip to try and suppress it. Slowly, carefully, Geralt reached out for one of Jaskier’s hands, tugging gently until his arms came unravelled.

“I’m so sorry, Jaskier.”

Jaskier shook his head. “I’m sorry, too. I should’ve said something.”

“Can I hug you?”

Jaskier’s goofy smile was back and Geralt felt his heart clench. He hoped to see that smile so much more.

“Only if I can kiss you,” Jaskier replied, bouncing on his toes a little.

Geralt grinned. “I find that an acceptable trade.”

Jaskier laughed then, pulling him into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a long while, sharing heat and just soaking in each other’s presence. Slowly starting to accept that this was real, that this was happening. Geralt clenched his hands tightly into Jaskier’s sweater.

And then, some long minutes later, they pulled back from the hug just enough to press their lips together. It was soft and chaste, but by no means short. Geralt decided that kissing Jaskier felt like coming home.

They slipped away after that, deciding not to head back to the party. Their friends would assume things, sure, but they didn’t care. They had lost time to make up for, they could make up for not saying goodbye later.

Geralt drove them home, back to Jaskier’s flat just like last year. Jaskier fiddled with the radio as the streets blurred around them, trying to find an appropriately-themed holiday station. He burst into cackles the second he found one.

“Tell me this is not Wham!,” Geralt begged.

Jaskier was laughing too hard to reply.

“I hate it,” Geralt said, despite being on the verge of laughter himself. “I hate it so much. Stop laughing, it’s not funny.”

“It’s so funny!” Jaskier wheezed, clutching his stomach as he doubled over in his seat.

Jaskier had only just barely calmed down by the time they got to his flat. They curled up on his ratty old couch with some hot chocolate and put on a Christmas movie, but it became more background noise than anything.

Instead they talked. They talked about their past together and how it hurt them, and their future and how they would prevent that from hurting too. They talked until Geralt’s throat was sore and Jaskier was nodding off on his shoulder. Geralt couldn’t find the energy to carry him to bed, so he simply readjusted their position on the couch to be something more comfortable and settled in to sleep himself.

“L’ve ‘ou” Jaskier breathed out against his neck.

Geralt smiled, closing his eyes. “Love you too, Jaskier.

#witcher #the witcher #geraskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #the witcher fanfic #witcher fanfic #My writing #triss merigold #Yennefer of Vengerberg #zoltan chivay #iorveth #vernon roche #eskel

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