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hekatekun · 3 years

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The metanarrative’s grand narrative: Osomatsu-san’s characterization throughout the franchise

The growing cynicism throughout the entire Osomatsu-san franchise shows itself in season 3 with more prominence than anything prior. I think that’s pretty common amongst any “long-running” gag comedy - replacing a plot with spiteful commentary that’s admittedly pretty hit or miss at times. However, it invariably creates a negative but pretty funny character growth, and I love the way the show (I’m including the movie too as “canon” material considering season 3 has referenced it way too many times for me to disregard) has set up this metanarrative across seasons. Long post ahead.

Obviously, Osomatsu-san is self-aware and has a casual relationship with itself. No linear plot (though S3 seems to be trying it out and I’ve enjoyed it - I love that they’re willing to experiment), rather a collection of unrelated skits; and so it points out its own metanarrative because of this “lack of consequences.” With comedy comes impermancy and Ososan AND -kun will always bounce back from that week’s insanity. From the Oxford Dictionary, a metanarrative is “a narrative account that experiments with or explores the idea of storytelling, often by drawing attention to its own artificiality.” Basically: a story about stories.

On top of this, is what I’m calling the “grand narrative,” which is often used interchangeably with metanarrative, but here I’m making a distinction to make it less confusing. Of course, Ososan is a story about stories, but with that comes a story it’s not directly telling, which is where most of the (little) character development is taking place. This is what I’m going to call the grand narrative of a show whose premise is being a meta-aware comedy. I’ll admit I’m by no means an expert on these subjects, but storytelling methods are something I enjoy trying to analyze. As a media format, Ososan really utilizes the fact that it’s a tv show.

Right off the bat S1E1 makes it clear what to expect: Nothing. Not a damn thing. But, the show had already been cleared for this first season, so it has to be produced. This same episode’s preview is done by Osomatsu, which I’m just gonna quote instead screenshot because there’s too many.

“...we plan on properly starting the anime the next episode.” “...you ended up with an extra minute, so you need me to do something to fill it?! Actually, is this anime going to be okay with episode one being like this? I’m getting worried about how the rest of this is going to be...” “There, I used up a minute! [EPISODE ENDS]”

Episode one is not only batshit referential, but downright mocking the state of anime in 2015. Which, truthfully, I don’t have much to comment on in that regard, as I’m not an avid anime fan. However, it does this under the premise of being indecisive about what kind of anime they wanted the Osokun reboot to be.

They’ll do just about anything to stay popular and relevant considering that is, quite literally, all they have going for them as characters in the series and just being characters in general. They may be pieces of shit, but they’re likeable pieces of shit. The dynamics they’ve built upon to be entertaining is encouraged, and they’re basically just roleplaying different skits and fucking around.

All the AUs! All the skits! They’re just playing! They’re just fuckin’ around!! They couldn’t come up with any interesting plot nor could they “graduate” from being anime protagonists and join the real world, so they just fuck around and make a gag anime!

Even if we follow both as the audience, the show makes a difference between the what’s them in their “normal life” (crazy begets crazy, no?) and what’s their “show.” But, really, that’s just one way to look at it, as they don’t really follow any rules as a show. I could say the Joshimatsus are separate characters from the sextuplets, and it’d be a “correct” interpretation. It doesn’t really matter - I’m choosing to examine it all as being the six of them just running around and playing, because being entertaining and having fun is all they know as characters. Besides, having it blended together beyond recognition reinforces how it prioritizes entertaining us, the audience, above logic. Storytelling doesn’t need to make absolute spatial-temporal sense for it to be enjoyable to fans.

In any case, that mentality really seems to be what pushes their character development negative, as they look to reinforce habits and rituals despite them being really detrimental for them in the long run. They know they’re popular characters as is, and with really everyone from staff to fans encouraging this behavior further, so they see no point in fixing what isn’t really broken.

I found this 4 year old article from Manga.Tokyo discussing the Ososan phenomenon in Japan because while the craze died off pretty quickly in American anime circles (which deserves a whole other post), Japanese fans went fuckin’ nuts.

This portion caught my attention, as it makes sense that entitled and enabled asshole children would grow up to be entitled and enabled asshole adults. The article also goes on to compare them to idols (even beyond the F6 spoof) and that they are rooted in being comfort characters above all else.

It’s worth a read, especially because Japanese fan response is what drives majority of the content post-S1, and, inevitably, ties into their character development.

They know that they’re Characters, particularly Protagonists. You know what happens to protagonists? Everything works out. Just about every single story created has stuff working out for protagonists. In fact, we have a whole genre made that separates stories with bad tragic endings from our Normal Stories. Ososan is a comedy, not a tragedy, so surely there’s gonna be some payoff somewhere along the road, especially as the seasons and other content are still being pumped out. To a self-aware, entitled, enabled protagonist, assuming everything is just gonna work out for you isn’t that far off from your narrative truth.

However, Ososan is a gag anime, and a lot of gag content (like 4koma mangas) is dropped for other projects before any emotional cathartic ending is provided for characters and fans alike. So, three seasons and a movie later, nothing has happened. It’s a great idol cash cow with a Family Guy filter, and the characters (and writers) don’t even bother to hide it anymore. And I know I’m being hypocritical concerning my definition of “canon material” but I think this portion from one of the drama cds “Choroplex” basically summarizes my point:

CHOROMATSU: Wait, don’t make this into a gag! You don’t even care about becoming employed, right? KARAMATSU: There’s no way that could happen... CHOROMATSU: What kind of future are you imagining? Is it nothing but this? [HUGE PAUSE BEFORE THEY MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE]

They’re parodies of themselves and are running out of ideas. Stagnation and decay is normal, if not unavoidable, at this point in time for them. They’re just 20 somethings who’ve hit a wall but they’re too scared and insecure to bring about permanent positive change. It’s easier for them to fall back into normal patterns and joke off the rest.

They have an antagonistic relationship with expectations. They can’t handle a single iota of expectations, or responsibilities. They’ve never needed to worry before, so why bother now? Once the biggest hits on the block, now they’re just guppies in the ocean, and there’s nothing they believe themselves to be able to accomplish to keep up with this big brave new world. This is epitomized in S3E15, where old man Osomatsu tells a bastardized version of the Tortoise and the Hare, blatantly projecting his feelings onto it. Again, too many screenshots so let me pull more quotes (bolding for my own reference):

“The place that the tortoise thought was the goal was not actually the goal. His journey down the road of life still continued on. The tortoise was quite tired, but he continued running anyway.” “No one actually knew who was in front anymore. There are too many people above you.” “After the tortoise found out how society worked, he thought, ‘So this is the difference in talent? No amount of hard work is going to fix this. All right. I’m done competing with others.’”

S3 has left more questionable endings than its counterparts. The last 2 skits I referenced don’t even a gag to them, and the marriage skit doesn’t play music for the entire second half of S3E5. There’s more involved too. I haven’t even brought up the rice ball twins becoming actual entertainers in their universe, or how they introduced this whole AI subplot only to reject it because All Six Of Them aren’t interested in expanding their little corner of the world. Here’s a transcript of the ending preview from S3E1:

“Hey, hey, Osomatsu here. I thought we were saved from being replaced, but I guess we get new characters next week. Man, we’re busy. New encounters, changing surroundings... We’re NEETs to begin with because all that is a pain. I guess a lot can happen after three seasons. [EPISODE ENDS]”

The sextuplets’ mindsets are extremely self-centered, which is also an environmental thing (the parents don’t even really care that they’re NEETs, for one) and an understanding of what they ought to be (epic successful protagonists). They also have a very black and white mentality, all or nothing. They’re extremely sheltered, and once they realized where they stood in society at large, they just gave up. To them the world is divided between winners and losers, and somehow, “inexplicably,” they found themselves to have fallen from grace. But they’re protagonists, that has to count for something! Everything’s gonna end up okay, right? Well... what this show has told them: No, not at all. They are consistently compared and warned of Iyami, and are perfectly aware of this fact, and have come to internalize it as a truth rather than a reversible self-fulfilling prophecy.

Too many screencaps, taken from the S3S5 marriage discussion:

JYUSHIMATSU: I wonder if we’re gonna get married someday, too. CHOROMATSU: Well, I mean... probably? I’m not exactly sure, but... TODOMATSU: What? You’re gonna get married, Choromatsu-niisan? CHOROMATSU: Huh? Well, yeah... someday.

Surprise! They have commitment issues! The same group that couldn’t commit to a fucking plot! Though their personality issues have several factors involved, I can’t overlook the theater motifs abound. Life’s a stage, and they’re performing entirely unscripted and it shows.

Do I think all of this is 100% intentional on the writers’ part? No, probably not. There’s also an extra layer here regarding contemporary Japanese commentary that I’m not familiar with, so I just ended up focusing on the characters. I can’t be in the writers’ heads, but whatever decisions are being made by executives regarding censorship and “compliance” are reflected in these character changes that result in being significantly more bitter and defeatist.

In the all or nothing, winner-take-all mentality, the only way to save face at this point, in their minds, is to own up to it - act like it’s what they wanted all along. And, hey, it’s funny to watch, right?

“Why is Osomatsu all my examples”, you might be asking. Well, he’s the damn blueprint for it all. The leader of the bunch, the first personality to grab your attention, has had all his issues projected and ricocheted in their echo chamber.

Ultimately, my point here is that you could think their “canon characterizations” (though canon means nothing in a show like this) as being intertwined with the nature of their self-aware existence. They’ve shown you all their tricks, the smoke and mirrors are getting boring, and they’re stalling long enough the story seems to be moving on without them - in spite of them. And when something genuinely threatens their way of life, they don’t know how to respond.

You can play it all straight, of course. Remove the meta jokes and all the same plot points can be hit, but, as a slapstick comedy, it’s able to easily add this additional layer in that I appreciate. I’ve said it in my last post and I’ll probably say it in more, but with comedy comes sincerity - the caveat of all the cartoon violence is that, on some level somewhere, this is how they really feel.

#osomatsu san #osomatsu #karamatsu #choromatsu #ichimatsu #jyushimatsu #todomatsu #osomatsu matsuno #karamatsu matsuno #choromatsu matsuno #ichimatsu matsuno #jyushimatsu matsuno #todomatsu matsuno #analysis #confession this was sparked by a convo i had w friends about s3e18 #this is a bit truncated but i couldnt bring myself to make this longer #maybe ill make a pt2 or whatever idk

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

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Well I recently watched Trouble in the Heights, so let's go for Nevada Ramirez & Love, even if he perhaps has 1 bare inch of it in his whole body.

(I’m still fucking wheezing oh my gOD. Nevada Ramirez is 5′9″, and that ninth inch is composed completely out of the one inch of love he can actually express like a normal human being.) Similar to the Bruce Wayne one, though, some of these were sorta referenced in past Nevada pieces (what few there comparatively are). So, just in case, I included links to those pieces because they generally go into more detail in certain areas. Hope that’s all good!

Who said “I love you” first?: Well, you said it in that way first, so technically it was you. But if we just meant the actual soul of the phrase, of someone vocally expressing to another their love and interest in their well being, even without the exact words in place? It was Nevada. And even he didn’t necessarily notice it in the moment. Granted, even a sentence like, “Hey, don’t be stupid and just go straight home, understand me?” can slip Nevada’s notice as a sign of his own affection. He’s not nearly as in tune with his emotions as he’d like to think, really.

What are their primary love languages?: It’s really hard to place what a guy like Nevada’s love language could possibly be -- mainly because it’s hard to picture a guy like Nevada and a concept like love even inhabiting the same room. Being a gang leader and, well, just being Nevada Ramirez in total, he likes to give off the air that he doesn’t really necessarily need anybody — that everyone, from his underlings to even his past lovers are more or less side dressing he allows near him. But don’t be fooled: This little shit gets by on spoiling you and the affirmations he earns from them. The great thing about gifts is that in theory you could present them without needing to say much or even say anything at all. And given ‘Vada’s . . . less than delicate manner of speaking, this can be a good thing. And don’t get it twisted, he ain’t no sentimental pussy or nothing; he just sorta likes how your face glows when he just so happens to remember things like your favorite candy, or artist you mentioned wanting a framed piece by. He don’t need you to tell him he’s the best (he already knows he is), but it doesn’t hurt to hear you cry it as you practically fling yourself at him and smooch him silly. He also appreciates acts of service. Shady as his business is, it still demands a lot of the man. He won’t always express it completely but those nights when you show up at his place with his favorite takeout, or he comes home and finds the sheets have been cleaned or that you’ve done whatever he’d meant to have completed earlier that day? He almost wants to drag you to the edge of the bed and express his thanks to you. He appreciates it more than you would think.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?: Frequently, actually. There is hardly a moment wherein Nevada doesn’t have some part of him touching you: His hand resting on your hip or place in the back pocket of your jeans; your rump resting comfortably on his lap; his arm around you as you lean back in the VIP section of a club; or even just your legs over his own (or vice-versa) as you rest on the couch at home. Many would assume it’s just for show; that El Trujillo is simply asserting his dominance to all who might consider approaching you with sexual intent. They wouldn’t necessarily be wrong -- Nevada does intend to wordlessly yet loudly tell people that you belong to him. However, in addition to this, ‘Vada also just likes to show you off to everyone. And what better way to show the world his beautiful girl than to have her perched on his lap like a pretty bird on a branch?

What are their favorite things to do together?: To the surprise of no one, you two don’t have too, too much in common in terms of interest: Nevada, with his silver palate, enjoys eating out at restaurants with no less than four stars, and you enjoy going out to live shows, specifically on or even off-Broadway musicals. You don’t really care much for the strange food he likes, and he’s extremely particular about what sorts of show’s he’ll even bother with, but you do it for one another. But when it comes to what very few things you do enjoy in common, it ultimately gets narrowed down to two things: Cuddling on the couch and watching TV. Typically old shows or telanovelas because they’re both enjoyable and so terrible that neither of you can help but jeer at the bad acting, awful storylines, and cheesy sets and costumes. It’s a very strange bonding activity -- and certainly not one that anyone would associate with Nevada (and he wants to keep it that way). But it’s the one that you two enjoy the most after a long week, and a surefire way to help both parties relax and cheer up.

Who’s better at comforting the other?: Well, you’re one of the only one who can make him genuinely laugh if that says anything. Nevada isn’t an easy man to comfort, mostly because in his stubbornness, he’s become convinced that his power comes from his anger. So really, it should be sign enough that he even decided to go steady with you that he finds some sort of comfort in your presence (regardless of what he might tell you).

Who’s more protective?: Being a dealer of some infamy, Nevada is aware that he’s made more enemies than friends both in The Heights and out of them. As easy as it is to assume he doesn’t care too much about you, the reality is far from the truth: He cares deeply for you in his own Nevada way. When you go to one of his clubs, he’s never far away or not without you in his line of sight. There’s always a hand resting on your hip or your thigh, or he’ll, you’re always on his lap. Call it primal, but smart enough people who value their lives can take one look at ‘Vada’s hand resting on your ass and just know not to even bother with you. Slightly less smart may need to look at the man’s cold, murderous glower just for confirmation. And those with no sense of self-preservation have essentially signed their death warrant. But that’s in an environment he can control. Outside of his bars, his clubs, his restaurants where he’s a VIP? He’s a lot more quiet about it. Originally, he made sure you always had at least two Men-turned-bodyguards nearby you at all times, but you complained about how difficult it made everything from going to work to simply going shopping. “I don’t need your boys to know what types of tampons I use, Nevada!” you bristled. After much arguing, he eventually agreed to go another way about it: There’s actually more people with their eyes on you, often in disguise or paid off, but he’s made sure to put more distance on them so that you won’t feel as skeeved (or that you’ll even know they’re there for that matter). (For extra measure, if he can get you to agree to it, he’ll also have you equipped with a “Saturday Night Special” so to speak.) But be aware: The moment anyone so much as indicates even thinking about making you a target? That calm, cold demeanor rises to a simultaneously freezing yet infernal rage: You will be put on lock down or even ushered to a safe house until the threat can be dealt with. You will be escorted about the house at every moment by an armed man. And you will be kept safe until the threat has been literally disposed of.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?: Physical, because at least then he doesn’t have to say anything. Asshole behavior aside, Nevada knows damn well that he’s the absolute worst with words and that it honestly doesn’t take much to set you off. He figures that so long as he doesn’t have to actually say anything, he stands a better chance at not ticking you off and screwing himself over.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?: “The Wolf” by SIAMÉS. “Silvertongue” by Young the Giant. “Love Me Dead” by Ludo, if the roles were reversed . . . Nevada is just plain symbolic of something that’s bad for you but just feels so good to have. That in spite of how poisonous he actually is, he is capable of using just the right words and moves to have you addicted to him after just one drop. And in spite of everything he might insist or do, it works both ways: You’re both tragically and constantly craving the other, and it can wear you both out. But then again, that’s just what addiction is: Craving to the point of depletion. Though if you want something more optimistic, there’s also “Body Talks” by The Struts: Nevada doesn’t understand it himself but all he knows is that the very moment he laid eyes on you, he was going to do whatever it took to make you his — and, judging by your body language, you were perfectly happy to do that, so long as he worked for it. And let’s face it: El Trujillo ain’t afraid to get his hands dirty.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?: The problem is that Nevada does have the ability to give nicknames, but he’s mostly crap at it unless there’s an ulterior motive involved. Like when he wants to keep you from being mad at him or to stop you from pouting, he’ll teasingly run a finger along your jawline and pout back a cooing “Cariño” or “Muñequita.” If he means to seduce and tease? You’re his “Good Girl.” If it’s more like he’s for once asking you to do a favor, he’ll give out a quick “Babe” or something of that nature. But if he’s just trying to apply a nickname for the sake of using one? Don’t trust him with that. Trusting him to pick a pet name based on a characteristic of yours, or in reference to an event is just not a good idea. His bluntness almost always causes him to pick the wrong thing to focus on! For example: If you have a green thumb and have taken to keeping a small windowsill garden or a corner for your plants, he’s not going to reference a goddess of greenery or even a flower or spice — he’s going to try calling you “Dirtworm” or something! (And then get frustrated when you express distaste over the name.) You’re honestly probably going to have to guide him to what sort of names you’ll tolerate and what you won’t, which shocks every and all witnesses who know anything about Nevada. A romantic interest? Telling Nevada what to do? It’s more likely than you think! Even though he’ll go along with it to pacify you, the hot-tempered man obviously can’t help but feel as thought you’re being unreasonably picky. After all, he’s more than satisfied with the nicknames you usually give him. Granted, they’re just the same nicknames he’s been going by for years now: El Trujillo, Jefe . . . He used to be called “Daddy” in the VIP sections of his haunts, but that title has since been reserved only for you. That, and ‘Vada. And “Baby Boy”, but only very, very sparingly. Which is still more than he’d let anybody else get away with.

Thank you for your patience!

#nevada ramirez #nevada ramirez x reader #trouble in the heights #Raul Esparza #regrettablewritings #character ship meme #character ship headcanons #y'all keep requesting this absolute assholes/men who just are the absolute WORST at expressing love #you guise...blease love yourselves...#like -- love yourselves better than these guys could #says the person who still writes for 'em #raúl esparza

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stringergames · 3 years

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Downtime Roleplay 4 - Checking Out

Post Session 5 - Misty Eyed

Ireena and Magpie spend some one on one time in the Kolyana Library, as the rest of the party continue to exasperate Ismark downstairs.

Words spoken in Elvish are denoted in italics. Spoiler warning: contains spoilers for episode 5 of Edge of Night

Content warning: grief, implied dead parents, alcohol consumption

"So, Mr Magpie, do you like poetry?" Ireena smiles at him as they climb the stairs.

"I do, it can be very beautiful. I prefer such things set to music, but that's a personal taste."

Magpie casts a slightly wary eye over the opulent staircase, taking in the disrepair and lack of upkeep. He takes another sip of wine and makes no comment.

"I enjoy the simplicity of poetry, so much can be said with so few words." Ireena is caught up in her own enthusiasm and does not notice Magpie's appraisal of the house. "Novels are good for escaping entirely to another realm, and you already know of my enjoyment of learning through books." This is said in Elvish, with a smile, before switching back to Common. "But poetry will remain my favourite, I think. If only for its love of pain that cannot be spoken in other ways."

Ireena opens a door on the landing that leads to a damp room piled with books, in the centre of which is a chair. The dust marks on the floor indicate that a desk once also stood there, but judging by the fate of other furnishings in the house, this was probably pilfered to become barricade materials a while ago.

Magpie replies in Elvish, quietly pleased to be able to use his native tongue. "Songs are my favourite, I believe. The dual storytelling between lyrics and tune is wonderfully versatile, but poetry definitely has a beauty of it's own, I can see why it calls to you so." He takes an almost hesitant step into the room, and checks back that she's joining him.

Ireena follows him into the study and responds in Elvish, clearly excited to be able to do so. "I wish I had a better understanding of music. It is a rare thing to hear music in Barovia that isn't a funeral march. Unless you encounter the Vistani whose performances are... livelier." Ireena smirks, and gestures to the room. "This is my library!"

Magpie quirks an amused grin at her Elvish, and takes a slow look around the room. "We heard Vistani musicians at the party. They played very well, Sierra was there among them actually. You'll have to see if she'll play the violin for you, it's truly beautiful."

"I would like that." Ireena pauses, wondering how far she can push her luck. "Maybe you would dance with me."

Magpie crouches in front of a bookshelf, scanning the titles distractedly, not so much as reaching a hand out to touch any of them. "I'm not sure you'd enjoy that, I was... never in a position to be taught any of the proper dances, and quite besides, I've been reliably told I have two left feet."

Ireena crouches next to him. "Then I shall simply have to teach you."

Her smile is soft and her tone no longer teasing. The tension in her shoulders is heavy, but not directed at this conversation or her present company. It is tension she's clearly been carrying for a long time.

"I like this one." She selects a book from the shelf. "It's long, but it tells the most wonderful story of a hero who journeys to find his way home after a long battle away from those he loves." She strokes the cover wistfully.

Magpie looks over at the book, admiring the cover.

"Sounds like a compelling tale." He casts his eyes to the floor briefly, and takes another drink of wine before focusing back up on Ireena and the book. "You have so many books, it must be lovely to be able to come here and escape with them."

"Father loved to read. And there weren't exactly many other ways for me to spread my wings beyond this village." She sighs darkly and gestures at the window. "Even before..."

Aware that her façade has slipped again, Ireena straightens her shoulders and attempts another smile.

"But yes, I am lucky. There are a few tomes in here that predate the beginning of the Von Zarovich reign in Barovia."

"Really? How old does that make them?" Magpie looks very interested at the promise of old books, a shadow that had fallen over his face lifting a little.

"Well over a century! Father rarely let anyone handle them, they're very delicate, but I always loved the way old books smell."

“Incredible. I shan’t ask to look at them, but what are they about? I often find some of the most fascinating stuff is in the oldest books.”

"There's a first edition of some very dramatic plays, and a couple of these epic poems too. If I'm being entirely honest, I am not completely sure I know what is in all of the oldest books Father had. But please, if you would like, feel free to select any volumes that take your fancy to take with you. It is wonderful to finally have a fellow bibliophile to share these with. My brother is not opposed to literature, but he's mostly been too busy with more important things to indulge me in expounding the joys of fiction."

Magpie looks gently surprised. "You'd let me bring some? Just like that?"

"I doubt Ismark will miss them, I will certainly be bringing some with me, and Father hardly has a use for them any more. Of course you may take some, as many as you would like." She laughs a little. "Or as many as you think you can carry, at any rate!"

Magpie laughs a little in return, a hesitant set to his face still. "It won't be many then. Most of us ended up here without a bag. You're sure I can borrow some?"

"Borrow, have, whatever you would like. And while we can't promise armour or weapons, I feel confident my brother can provide satchels or something to carry possessions in." Ireena puts a hand on his arm gently. "I mean it, really."

Magpie flinches at the touch, and pulls his arm away gently. "Satchels would be a great help, I don't think Fox's bag will survive anything else being put in it."

Ireena retracts her hand, but does not seem offended. "I did notice that sewing does not appear to be among Lord Ripley's particular skills."

Magpie laughs properly this time. “Apparently not, though I’m not sure I can say much after the gods awful job I did on those replacement gloves. It turns out not having something proper to cut the fabric with is a significant hindrance.”

"I hadn't liked to mention it, but they were somewhat unorthodox." Ireena giggles. "I wondered if it was some new trend from where you're from!"

“Decidedly not, just shoddy and hurried craftsmanship on my part.” He gives her a lopsided grin. “If you’re certain I can take a couple of books with me, do you have sections you’d rather I chose from? Or perhaps any recommendations?”

"You must feel free to choose whatever you'd like, although I suggest you take something less likely to fall apart when you touch it! But if you are open to suggestions, then I could show you some of my personal favourites?"

“I’d welcome that gladly, I find myself decidedly in a position of rather too much choice, and while I’d often like nothing more than to stay up all night browsing, I fear after the day we’ve had I need the rest.”

Ireena starts pulling books from shelves and various piles. They're all well-thumbed volumes, but don't seem in danger of falling apart completely. They span a wide range of genres: a poetry anthology by a Lord Byron, the classic epic poem she'd picked out earlier, a trilogy of long form fantasy, a collection of old Elvish plays, a couple of shorter looking novels (one historical fiction and one murder mystery), and a nonfiction biography of ancient rulers of Barovia. She sets them down in a pile in front of Magpie.

"This should narrow down the selection somewhat, I wasn't sure what you preferred, so I have chosen my favourites of many genres." She looks between Magpie and the pile a little nervously. "I hope there's something to your liking here?"

Magpie looks at the pile in astonishment, and brushes a gloved hand delicately across the covers.

"All of it, I'd wager; I'll struggle to pick those that I can carry from such a fascinating collection." He looks up and catches her eye. "Thank you. Truly."

Ireena shows him a flash of the smile she must've had before the recent events of her life, and it lights up her whole face for a moment.

"You are more than welcome, Magpie. I am aware that the journey ahead of us will be difficult, but I will not regret the opportunity to spend more time with you." She pauses and then adds almost as an afterthought, "With all of you. It will be nice to be able to say I have friends."

"It would be lovely indeed." Magpie looks back at the books, carefully thumbing through a couple of pages and starting to sort them into two neat piles. "After such a kind gesture, the least I could do is help you with your Elvish, if you still want to learn."

"Very much so, if it isn't too much trouble!" Ireena suddenly looks like she might cry and turns towards the door. "We should be getting back to the others, it is intolerably cruel of me to leave them solely in the company of my brother for too long." She turns back, and if her voice cracks, she doesn't acknowledge it. "Besides, as you said, you've all had a very long day. I imagine you will be wanting to rest soon."

Magpie blinks a couple of times at the abrupt change in mood, but makes no comment on it. He drains the last of his wine and sets the glass down, carefully picking up a stack of five books he'd set aside, the biography of rulers of Barovia, Elvish plays, and trilogy of fantasy, balancing them carefully in his arm before picking his glass back up.

"Are these alright? Is it too many?"

"No, no of course not! That's fine! Would you like some help carrying them?"

"That's very kind of you, but I have a good hold on them, and there's no risk of me spilling my wine." He gives her a cheeky grin. "Well, shall we go and save the others from the company of your brother then?"

Ireena smiles back, small and shaky, but perhaps more real than some of her smiles up to this point. "An excellent idea, Mr Magpie."

She leads the way back out of the study. She pauses on the landing and points at another door. "I believe that is to be your room for the night, if you'd prefer to drop the books off there, although I have no objections to you bringing them downstairs to share your finds with the others, if you wish."

"I –" Magpie looks torn, and a flicker of something passes over his face. "Perhaps, I'll drop most of them off. Bring just one down. To flick through."

"Great, I can wait here, or just meet you downstairs if you'd rather?"

"I'll be just a second." Magpie smiles at her briefly, and dips into the room to gently place the books down, keeping hold of the Elvish plays, and returning to her quickly.

"Shall we?" Ireena gestures at the staircase.

Magpie nods, and walks alongside her downwards, gently clutching the gifted book to his chest.

Written by Francesca Forrest & Nick Drew

Edited by Rowan E. Madden

Edge of Night is a dnd 5e actual play podcast, brought to you by Stringer Games. It is available on iTunes, Spotify & all good podcast providers.

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ranma-rewatch · 3 years

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Episode 23: Enter Mousse! The Fist of the White Swan

*yawn* Wow, I finally got some good sleep. Back to the Ranma Rewatch, then. Hey there, long time no see, going to try and get back on track. This week we’re still in the middle of the season 2’s opening story arc, and another main character shall be introduced to us. Will I like him better than I did ten years ago? Only way to find out is to look at the next paragraph, from when I’ve watched the episode.

This episode raised my hopes and then gently lowered them a little, but on the whole I’m happier than I thought I would have been.

The story starts with Akane taking Ranma to see Dr. Tofu, under the assumption that as someone with lots of experience with Chinese medicine, he’d be able to fix what Cologne did to Ranma. Sadly, the technique used is something only a master could do, far outside of his wheelhouse. However, there is one thing he could do.

To counteract the Full Body Cat Tongue, Tofu hits a different pressure point in Ranma, one named after old men from Tokyo. Why? Because apparently they’re well known for being able to stand even the most scalding heat in their baths, and this technique gives the user that same ability. Sure enough, it let’s Ranma return to his uncursed state, but there’s a catch. Kasumi calls, turning Dr. Tofu into a bumbler before he can give the warning, so Ranma and Akane just head to school.

After class, Akane harangues Ranma into taking her out for food, which their classmates immediately notice has a lot of romantic energy to it. Then Shampoo and Cologne appear, amazed that Ranma somehow found a way around the elderly amazon’s strategy, but Cologne seems sure anyway that this won’t be an issue.

But wait! Out of nowhere, someone new appears. His name is Mousse, and he’s a man from the amazon village who has been in love with Shampoo since they were kids. He has terrible eyesight, so bad that he frequently mistakes people for the love of his life, and after a series of confusions he learns that Shampoo is dead set on marrying Ranma.

Mousse attacks Ranma, and challenges him to a manly duel for Shampoo. But she refuses that, so instead makes the duel over Akane for seemingly no reason, which Ranma agrees to. Oh, and he’s known for using ‘dark magic’ which is in practice more sleight of hand and weapon-based techniques.

That evening, Akane is doing what she frequently does when pissed off, namely training in the dojo. Ranma shows up, clearly aware he really stepped in it and wanting to make amends by making it clear there’s no way he’s going to lose to Mousse.

But Akane makes it clear that isn’t why she’s mad. The reason she’s upset is that she doesn’t belong to Ranma, and she won’t belong to Mousse. She’s her own person, and this duel doesn’t respect that. Hell, if he loses that’s fine with her, she’ll just beat up Mousse herself. The entire family shows up, interpreting this as kind of a romantic confession to Ranma.

The next morning, it Dr. Tofu calls and gives the warning he’d meant to tell them earlier: the technique he used is a one-use, so if Ranma gets splashed, he’s stuck again. Akane only finds this out after Ranma takes a dip in the pond while sparring with his dad, and they all freak out over what he’s going to do. Why none of them think to just tell Mousse that Ranma has a Jusenkyo curse, I have no clue.

Someone, Cologne probably, turned the match into a huge spectacle, with food carts and seating around the arena and everything, there’s a huge crowd. Ranma’s late, but that’s only because he made a disguise to hide his cursed body. He clowns around a little at first, having prepared a bunch of lame magic tricks, but then ‘does a trick’ by ‘turning into a girl’, giving him an excuse for how he looks.

Mousse buys it, but he’s angry that Ranma’s not taking it seriously. He takes of his...robe? Tunic? Whatever, either way he’s buff as hell under there, and an attack from his barbed footwear ruins the front of Ranma’s stage assistant outfit, bearing his boobies to everyone. This causes a bunch of men in the audience to storm the fighting area so they can sexually assault Ranma and then I paused Hulu and stared at my computer screen for three full minutes before continuing the episode.

*sigh* Anyway, the Kuno siblings show up, interfere with the fight, Mousse gets deadly series, then Akane reminds Ranma he can use his new technique in battle, which he does to win. Then a bunch of his admirers crowd Ranma, and Akane is annoyed. Done.

Let me get into the stuff I found really interesting with this episode, to start with.

The first half was honestly just really enjoyable. Akane and Ranma had a really good chemistry going on, it reminded me a lot of the episode where Shampoo first showed up. There was a casual closeness to them, still tempered with occasional arguments, that was just cute.

I also liked that they thought to try asking Dr. Tofu for help, since his expertise has helped so often in the past. Making it clear this was a problem he could only barely help out with, and only one time, sold how Cologne and what she’s done to Ranma isn’t something that’s going to be solved easily.

What was a bit odd in that scene was we actually got to see the curse take effect, as Ranma’s torso changed, something I’m fairly sure we’ve never gotten that much detail on. It’s usually either off-screen or a cutaway. But I like we saw it with the curse turning him back to his uncursed form, since it emphasized this was Ranma regaining the body that felt right to him.

I’ve talked about this before, but I also couldn’t help noticing throughout this episode the weird dichotomy in who uses Ranma’s preferred pronouns and who doesn’t. Akane, Shampoo, and Cologne all call Ranma ‘he’ even when he’s in a feminine form, but Akane’s siblings call him ‘she’ instead.

The dojo scene was also a treat for me. I just kind of love how it put the focus on how this whole arrangement devalues Akane. Both the engagement from their parents and the terms of this duel take away her say in what she does with her life, and she isn’t having it. It almost sounded like she was comforting Ranma, taking a burden off his shoulders, when she told him he didn’t have to stress over the fight because she’d be fine either way. I am here for Akane stressing her independence and making it clear that no matter what happens in the fight, she is her own person.

That was a lot of nice stuff, but sadly the second half of the episode didn’t really carry it through. It wasn’t terrible, but the fight wasn’t really anything special, and the whole bit with the guys storming Ranma...yeah. Didn’t care for that. But hey! It’s finally time to do another Character Spotlight!

Unlike Cologne, who I am still holding off on doing a Spotlight for since I don’t feel like we’ve gotten to really see enough of her yet, this one episode basically gave us most of what we need to know about Mousse, so let’s just do it.

In terms of voice acting, his English performer is Brad Swaile. He’s done quite a few things, but he’s most well known for being the voice of Light in Death Note, which is quite a funny comparison. Both characters have huge egos, that’s to be sure, but Light is usually taken seriously, while at least in the dub Mousse is basically just a joke the entire time. Swaile plays him very comedically, which does fit the generally goofy tone of his character.

It is in contrast, however, to his original Japanese voice actor, Toshihiko Seki. Like a lot of the seiyuu, he has done a million things, but of particular note are his roles as Legato Bluesummers from Trigun, another anime I love quite a bit, and as the Japanese Dub actor for the Tenth Doctor in Doctor Who. Honestly, finding out the Japanese dub castings is a treat every time I do a Spotlight. But anyway, Seki largely plays Mousse more seriously, as a confident warrior, only going for comedy with how over-the-top some of his attacks get, considering how silly they are. I’m going to tentatively say this is another performance I think works than the dub, which is fairly rare for me as far as anime go.

So, who exactly is Mousse? Well, like I said before, Mousse is Shampoo’s childhood friend, and the first member of their tribe we’ve met who is a guy. His character motivation is literally just that he wants to be with Shampoo, and will beat up/kill Ranma to get her. Pretty simple.

What makes him silly is the combination of his terrible eyesight, a fairly common trope that now that I think about it is kinda ableist, and how he fights. He’s a master of hidden weapons, but more often than not the items he’s fighting with are silly things, like a toilet or a yoyo. Combined with his high self-confidence, and Mousse is fairly Kuno-like, only quite a bit sillier.

Only enough though, he’s more similar to Kodachi than to Tatewaki. Why? Well, because he’s deadly. Of all of Ranma’s primary rivals/reoccurring antagonists, Mousse is easily the one most ready to kill, not unlike Shampoo. When he gets serious, he trades in the silly weapons for genuinely dangerous weapons. He started choking Ranma with his bare hands in their first encounter, then tried doing it again with rope not long afterwards. Ryoga might talk a lot about killing Ranma, but Mousse has done a lot more to actually attempt that.

All of that said, I’m pretty ambivalent on Mousse. I don’t hate him, but of all of Ranma’s primary rivals, he’s easily the most boring. He doesn’t have the je ne sais quoi of Ryoga or the pompous elitism of Kuno, he’s just a deadly joke character who’s obsessed with Shampoo. Maybe my opinions will change over the course of the rewatch, but for right now I’m still pretty meh on him.

But you know what I’m not meh on? This episode! Even with the weaker second half, the first ten minutes or so were good enough that I’m overall pretty sunny on it. Listen, I’m an easy mark, give me some Ranma/Akane fuel and some decent drama, and I’m happy. I’ll put this in the top half of episodes so far between the ending of the fight between Ranma and Kodachi and the climax to Shampoo’s introductory arc.

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 15: Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 19: Clash of the Delivery Girls! The Martial Arts Takeout Race

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 13: A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 23: Enter Mousse! The Fist of the White Swan

Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

Episode 16: Shampoo's Revenge! The Shiatsu Technique That Steals Heart and Soul

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 22: Behold! The 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' Technique

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 21: This Ol' Gal's the Leader of the Amazon Tribe!

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

Episode 14: Pelvic Fortune-Telling? Ranma is the No. One Bride in Japan

Episode 18: I Am a Man! Ranma's Going Back to China!?

But once again, this arc still! Isn’t! Done! No, the end of the Phoenix Pill Arc, if you want to call it that, comes next week with “Cool Runnings! The Race of the Snowmen". Most of my memories of this episode come from a YouTuber I used to follow hating on it, but I’m ready to give it a fair shot. See you then!

#episode 23 #Enter Mousse! The Fist of the White Swan #ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #akane tendo #mousse #anime analysis #anime rewatch

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kanyniablue · 4 years

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headcanons for hws russia

long post, kinda depressing, bring snacks

-miss me with chubby-cute uwu woobie!twink!russia, dude’s built like an old-timey strongman. just a solid wall of muscle & fat that looks like he could win a fistfight with a tank. you look at him and go “that is a man who i would know is in the room instinctively”

-but you don’t. he’s so frickin quiet & light on his feet. you never know he’s there until he startles you or you get that tingling creeping feeling of something watching you and he’s RIGHT behind you

-he knows this. he likes this.

-the way he talks either irritates people or makes them want to laugh; he’s so huge and gives off such an intimidating vibe but he talks like a mumbly old grandma, barely loud enough to hear and everything is -yusha and -yushenka and so saccharine sweet it makes you gag

-he’s mocking you with it

-despite the cutesy-ness he’s super blunt and will tell you to your face what he thinks about you, and not in flattering terms, but still dressed up in what should be terms of affection. it’s kind of upsetting

-about the only time he talks honestly is when he’s too drunk to keep up the facade which isn’t easy to get to, he’s got to be a special sort of depressed and also have enough vodka, which also isn’t easy to get. he’s still mumbly but it’s much more “god i hate this i hate you i hate myself fuck”

-that sappy little smile he does is only for the westerners during their meetings

-he’s mocking them with it

-the people at home know his face better with just absolutely no emotion, like he’s already decided you’re not worth his time. the sweetie babushka voice with the cold dead eyes is not an endearing look

-the only thing he really fears, and the only people he ever shows respect for, are the people who have power over him. he wasn’t like that as a child but after long enough, everything had been beaten out of him except “don’t fuck up when the boss gives you orders.” he hates anyone having power over him & does everything to make sure there’s only a few people who do, but he also sees it as the natural order of the world--predators eat prey, big countries rule smaller countries, strong people rule weak people, bosses rule Nations. he overthrew his czar and was communist and they were all supposed to be equal and it still turned out like that, so it must be true.

-he was never the kind to just roll over and accept someone else as leader if they couldn’t prove themselves, he was always pretty self-sufficient and able to survive in a harsh environment. but as a child he was a lot more friendly and open--even if he also had such poor social skills that it usually came across as creepy. nowadays he’s so dissociated from that part of himself he couldn’t tell you if he really felt lonely or any sort of sympathy at all.

-he is actually super lonely, it’s just not in a way he can think about. he’s got this drive to be around people, wants to keep them near him, but doesn’t connect it to the idea he wants companionship (not a euphemism). and because he doesn’t feel positive emotions or respect for others and thinks in terms of strong-controlling-weak, he instead tries to force people to stay with him and punish them for disobeying him. he likes to live in close proximity to his neighboring Nations or to visit often, whether he’s welcome or not.

-he doesn’t generally get along well with humans. with his bosses, he defers to them and then tries mostly to stay out of their way. with his citizens nowadays he might share a drink or a cigarette but he doesn’t stick around or try to get to know them personally; he claims it’s because he doesn’t care about short-lived little humans but it’s at least partially because he can’t relate to human lives and wants and fears and dreams and he finds it easier to avoid them than to think about it. with most other countries’ citizens he feels like they have nothing in common so he doesn’t bother. he’s usually spending time with former eastern block Nations and has a bad habit of falling back into the same patterns of behavior he had back then.

-when he does get attached to someone, human (mostly in the past) or Nation, it’s an overattachment. he can’t leave them alone because they’re all he thinks about and the focus of all the emotions that well up when he’s finally found a ~friend~ and he’ll usually end up scaring them away with how intense and obsessive he is, which to him just proves that he shouldn’t get attached in the first place.

-he’s vaguely aware that he’s doing it “wrong” but doesn’t know how to fix it. with humans he eventually just decided it’s not worth trying to have a good relationship, they just die in a few years anyway. with Nations he generally feels like ‘if you think i’m the bad guy, fine then, i’m the bad guy’ and either becomes overbearing and manipulative to keep them with him or throws them out before they can reject him.

-he’s got a way of thinking that isn’t stupid but is so straightforward it misses a lot. if you can build him a jet engine in 5 hours, then if he makes you work 100 hours straight, you should’ve built him 20 perfect jet engines. on the one hand, it cuts through a lot of bullshit (”we need to stop this tank.” “but we have no antitank guns!” “then we will hit it with what we do have.”) on the other hand he’s not good at understanding nuance or fixing something that’s not exactly broken but could be a lot better.

-he’s not all big-picture, though--actually he can get lost in details. it’s a control thing, partially. if he knows exactly what he’s got and what you’ve got and where you are and what you’re doing and saying and thinking, he won’t be surprised by what comes next (or, so he hopes. somehow things always get worse).

-partially, though, and not a small part, it’s what’s left of the person he was originally, that he would’ve been with a different history. he used to love studying snowflakes and constellations, painting the delicate designs you see on matryoshkas and folk art like lace or flowers or geometric patterns, even computer coding--especially when it took hours & a whole room of processors to run something simple, he loved creating the most complex and exact programs just as a way to test his skills (aka for fun, but don’t call it that in soviet russia). all the stuff that to an untrained eye either looks like a mess or is so fiddly you wouldn’t know where to start. he loves when a thousand tiny pieces all come together into a perfect unified whole. it got trained into him over the centuries that anything enjoyable is a waste of time though, so he rarely bothers anymore unless he’s got another reason for it.

-he’s blunt and bad at nuance but he does have a sense of humor. it’s just not usually a nice one. he likes tricking people, making them mad while he stands there calmly--especially if it makes them do something stupid, saying things that go back and forth between being threatening and “why are you so scared? i just meant (something innocent)” especially with really dark jokes that don’t sound like jokes so much as what he plans to do to his enemies, basically anything that puts him in control of the situation.

-if the joke backfires on him you can bet the people around him get out of his way real quick; he’s not someone you can safely laugh at whether he deserves it or not

-sometimes he laughs at really stupid so-unfunny-it’s-funny jokes, nerd humor, cat memes and bad puns but he’ll never admit it

-he’s good at getting by on almost nothing, to the point where he almost enjoys it. his car isn’t one car, it’s a frankenstein’s monster of half a dozen different cars’ parts patched together into a moving vehicle. he can survive on sunflower seeds, vodka, cigarettes and spite, and the first three of those are really only creature comforts. he once stayed awake for a solid month to keep working and he says that like it’s something to brag about. it’s control, again--if you can’t make his life any worse by taking away what he’s got, you don’t control him. he’s got nothing and his life can’t get any worse. he wins.

-basically he needs therapy but he’ll never get therapy

#im in a mood & i hate having any sort of emotion so i self medicate with hyperfocusing on fictional characters #i don't even know if all of these make sense #eh let me headcanon some things for a while it's been a long few years #hetalia #hws russia #aph russia

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mystic-kitten-writer · 4 years

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It’s wonderful how you love reading people’s words about almost anything and attend to their words, being able to sense their feelings behind it. And I agree, it’s so lovely when you can sense a person’s joy through their words, as you said! Here I am once again, feeling special, thanks to you 💛 You’re a darling! And I’ll try my best to send long asks whenever possible!! (1/11)

Ahh, it’s going to be a while before I actually feel comfortable doing chart readings! But you know what? I would be happy to read your astrology chart for free, if you want! It would be great practice for me and it would give me a chance to grow my confidence. Though only if you want, let me know! ☺️ I’m so happy to know you’re learning and grasping everything perfectly! The way you believe in me astrology-wise makes my heart all warm 💓 (2/11)

I’m sorry your summer courses got cancelled btw, especially since you were on track to graduate. Hopefully, this gives you time for yourself though. I wish I can say I enjoy being active too, but it’s not something I do often tbh. Though I do love walking, as well as dancing (but it’s been a while). I need to find more activities that can get me moving 😔 Ah I see, what solo activities do you like doing to stay active? (I fall on the introverted side, I tend to favor being alone too) (3/11)

I’m on the same boat as you + your family. I haven’t been outside since mid-March and being at home until now has made me a bit antsy. It probably added to the weird headspace I was in too. Though that’s gone now, I’m feeling much better + less stressed thankfully. The semester is still in session for me, I’ve got about until mid-May until it’s over. Though I’m glad that school will be over before my birthday, so that’s a blessing I’m super thankful for! I can enjoy my day in peace, aha. (4/11)

Manipulation can be associated with a few other signs too actually, but Scorpio is definitely up there in the top three! And it is definitely true that that as you get older, you can either grow more into your sign’s archetype or some traits lessen over time. Rather than it being some traits disappearing, it’s more likely due to other planetary energies in certain signs coming into play and becoming more prominent. (5/11)

There’s also this point in everyone’s chart, the midheaven. It’s been said that whatever sign a person’s midheaven is in, that person shows more of that energy as they get older. Which brings me to how you got the impression that I’m a Libra! My midheaven is in Libra, which is probably why you felt that more than Taurus. It’s fascinating, especially since we’re just interacting through messages. Didn’t know my Libra energy was showing that strongly but it’s nice being aware of that now! (‪6/11‬)

I will definitely let you know if any of my guesses change when I do a rewatch of the whole series! (P.S. did you hear the announcement that A:TLA will be on Netflix ‪on May 15th‬?!) And to make it more fun, I’ll assess the other characters as well and share what signs I believe they could possibly be! I’ll consider it my mini summer project 😋 But oh my gosh, soft Zuko in the comics? 🤧 Maybe I should read the comics too then, since it might give me more material to work with. (‪7/11‬)

Your questions made sense, it’s all good! I think the best thing to refer to and see how Yue’s Venus energy influences Zuko’s Cancer side is that conversation in chapter 22 of Limerence, where Zuko told Yue that if having a family meant having a family with her, then that’s all he could ever want. Of course, he loves her, so there’s no doubt about them having a family together eventually. (‪8/11‬)

Though this is highlighted more with Yue’s Venus + Zuko’s Cancer energy because those energies meshing creates a soft/tender vibe, which makes coming together and creating a family highly ideal. Because Venus carries this loving energy which reinforces Cancer’s love for being domestic. As for the dynamic of Yue’s Libra and Zuko’s Aries, I feel that it’s one of the things that sets the overall tone for their relationship. (‪9/11‬)

With Aries/Libra, it’s kind of a classic case of Venus & Mars, so Yue being the affectionate/gentle one while Zuko being the intense/bold one, that paints the picture of their Aries/Libra dynamic. All that Libra/Scorpio energy in your sister’s family though, wow!! There are some common patterns in astrology that can occur with family, and one of those patterns can manifest as a certain sign or two being strong in the family. I guess that’s completely true for your sister! (‪10/11‬)

I’ll wrap all of this up by saying that chapter 33 of Limerence is completely enthralling! With every single chapter, I’m just in love with your storytelling. You’re such a fantastic writer! And also, it’s very enjoyable talking to you every time! Thank you for showing such warm energy always, it’s refreshing 💜 - 🌻 (‪11/11‬)

AHHHH – my lovely 🌻-anon~! 🥰🥰🥰

How long have you been studying astrology, and how long does it usually take for one to gain the confidence and skills to provide a service? I’m just so curious – but I never had anyone to ask these questions and learn. I’m sorry if these queries sound silly 😅

BUT BABE.

I would love a reading – but I’ll have to give you something. I refuse to not pay or give something back (even if small!). Plus, I need to say thank you for indulging me and letting me bother you non-stop with my questions 😂 But, seriously – you should be confident. You have literally not only captured my interest but a lot of others too!

Honestly, as sucky as it is to not graduate, I’m doing exactly that – taking the time for myself. I’ve been going for walks as of late while listening to some tunes! I live near conservation, so I’m lucky that I have a huge forest with lakes and a beach to unwind. But before I got hurt, I used to do cross-country, high-jump, and shotput (I miss those days 😭).

But, if you enjoy dancing – I encourage Zumba💃

I know it seems random, but it’s something super fun to do by yourself (or with someone else, I usually do it with my mom) and it just gets you moving. I’ve been doing Zumba almost every day because sitting on the couch is starting to get to me. It’s totally random – but it’s a fun way to get active in the comforts of your home, and you got some fun music to listen to. I’m glad to hear you’ve gotten out of that weird headspace though – I relate a lot to you in that aspect. It can take a while to get out of it, but the important part is that you did it! And I wish you the best with school, you’re almost done.

Also, happy Taurus season, babe~! 😘😘

Ouu, so what other signs associate with manipulation? I always hear Scorpio, so you’ve piqued my interest. And, I’m going to be honest, I’m still in shock that you’re a Taurus LOOL. I don’t know why, but the way you write reminds me of some of my friends/family who are Libras. You just have this diplomacy when you write? Do I sound crazy – probably 😂😂. I’ve never heard about the midheaven, but now that you told me that, it does make a lot of sense. Like you know how Zuko screams Mars? You scream Libra for me😋

YES I DID HEAR. Okay, so I’m from Canada, so ATLA is already here for us to watch – but my best friend (he lives in the States) literally called me screaming in excitement. We’re planning binge-watching dates for us to video chat and watch together. So I think I can safely assume you shall be binge-watching ATLA starting May 15 😉😉

Soft Zuko.

I swear, I fangirled soooooooo damn hard.

My heart – gone.

Soul – snatched.

Zuko is just such a cutie, like a teddy bear – with that smile of his and I just ajsdksadjksjdkasdksd My body can’t handle this level of cuteness. Like he has his kick-ass moments, but getting to see that other side of him was beautiful. My favourite moment was he gives Kiyi a piggy-back ride and tucks her into bed. If you end up reading the comics – you gotta let me know. I’m dying to know what you think of it!

It was also neat seeing Katara’s and Aang’s relationship develop in the comics (and Toph). Like the comics captured the essence of an awkward teenage romance (Katara and Aang) blooming into a long-lasting relationship. Like my friends said they cringed so hard during some ‘romantic’ moments between them, and they’re like it made us cringe not because it was bad, but because that was us when we were teenagers with our partners.

Oh wow – thank you for the examples! Honestly, it makes sense now about the domestic aspects with Zuko’s Cancer and Yue’s Venus. I just needed to make sure I was understanding it, I need to know these facts👏👏 But I swear – I feel like their whole relationship is the definition of chaotic neutral 😂😂

Is there a reason why certain signs have a strong presence in certain families (like you mentioned how you have a lot of ‘me’s’ in yours lol). Or is just random?

But I’m glad you enjoyed chapter 33, love! It feels so nice to get back into a writing routine – I was going nuts, not able to write consistently. I need to channel my chaotic energy into my stories LOOL

But I hope you’re taking care of yourself (family and friends included) in these times! It’s nice engaging in these long chats, it makes so happy (can you tell 😂).

I can’t wait till I hear from you again🌻~! 💜💜💜

#ask me anything #anon answered #atla #Avatar The Last Airbender #🌻#🌻 anon #sunflower anon

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silvensei · 4 years

Text

In This Mad Machinery

A human and an android swap bodies, resulting in identity crises, existentialism, philosophy with the boys, and fun!

Detroit: Become Human | gen | 20k | rated T | introspective comedy/sci-fi

Chapter 6 (3.5k words) | [AO3 link] | [first] | < prev | next >

- - - - - - - - - -

Hank and Markus were already chatting on the sidewalk when Connor got there. He parked the car in front of them and rolled down the passenger window. “Hello, Markus.”

“Connor!” It was Markus’ turn to lean his forearms on the window. “And here I was, thinking nothing more could surprise me.”

“Quite the surprise for us, too. I hope the Lieutenant didn’t interrupt anything.”

“No, not at all. It’s a very good sign that the humans are more curious about us than hostile. Do you really think they would’ve emailed a free android the key to stealing a human body a year ago?”

Connor smiled. “That’s true. Knowledge of this still won’t disseminate to the public for a long time, though. I figured you at least should get a heads-up, just in case we need to keep CyberLife in check.”

“About that….” He raised an eyebrow. “I appreciate the consideration, but didn’t CyberLife ask to keep it to you two?”

Connor hesitated, trying to recall their exact wording. “Not explicitly.”

“But they did want it on the down low. And Hank gave me the email through your memories, which opened that it’s only for the intended parties, of which I am not. And he’s got that all recorded, thanks to the black box running in his head.”

“Oh….” The recording of the event that CyberLife wanted back from them. He had completely forgotten. “You know, the expression ‘it slipped my mind’ makes so much more sense once you know what the human brain is like.” He rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t sure why he did, but he felt better after. “It would take way more than a day to get used to it, Markus.”

“Of that, I’ve no doubt,” he laughed. Clapping his hands together, he stepped back from the car. “But you can tell me all about it later. You only have a couple hours left, right?”

“Two hours, forty-seven minutes, give or take an hour,” said Hank, opening the door. “It’s like there’s a big countdown clock in the back of my head. Numbers this, schedule that. So orderly and organized. Fuckin’ overbearing.”

“And I was just about to miss your vulgarity in my voice,” said Connor.

“Oh? What’s that?” Hank buckled the seatbelt before cupping a hand around his ear. “Is that a joke? Picking up my humor? Should I be charging royalties?”

Before he could come up with a clever response, Markus interjected with a farewell and a reminder to keep in touch, maybe have a proper visit sometime soon. They waved, and then Connor started the car down the block.

“Kid, this head of yours?” Hank held up his hands, fingers splayed, emphasizing, “In. Sane. I watched like six classical painting tutorials in seconds, then calculated some predictive program that knew what each brush stroke would look like. I went from zip to forging Monets in twenty-six minutes. If I weren’t an officer of the law and you weren’t Mother Teresa, we could be rich! Stop sign.”

“Stop—?!” He hit the brakes, jolting to a halt at the intersection. There weren’t any other cars around, thanks to the suburban neighborhood. Connor’s heart was thumping in his chest; he could hear the blood pumping in his ears. It wasn’t enjoyable. He took a breath. “Sorry, Lieutenant. In contrast to your newfound hyper-awareness, I’m finding it hard to focus like I’m used to.”

“Ah. Understandable, that makes sense. Want me to drive, then?”

“That might be a good idea, yes.”

He climbed out of the driver’s seat and went around to the other side. There still wasn’t a car in sight. Then why did they even need a stop sign there in the first place?

Back in the car, Hank drummed his hands on the steering wheel while Connor fumbled for the seat belt. “So where are we going, anyway?” he asked. “With a six- to eight-hour time frame, that doesn’t give us a real definite end time, varying by up to—fucking math….”

The latch clicked. Where should they go next? What else would be quintessential to the human experience, something so unique Hank attempted to trademark it? What do humans do anyway?

They’re emotional, so pastimes often include a neurological reaction. Adrenalin rushes were common through thrillers and death-defying death traps, but it would take more time than they had. If not reactionary, then it was stimulated intentionally. They could go to a bar, but that would be pointless for Hank, and Connor didn’t particularly want to give up lucidity when he was supposed to be figuring himself out. Right up there with alcohol were drugs and sex, both of which were disrespectful to his host. The mere thought of them left a bad taste in his mouth—an expression he certainly didn’t expect to be literal.

Once he got distracted by that, his thoughts flooded over, once again overwhelming his head. “God damn,” he groaned, sinking into the passenger seat to try to escape the torrent. “Maybe just…home? I think I just need to be able to think things through.”

Hank didn’t answer immediately. Connor caught him looking his way for a moment before he shifted to first gear. “Home it is, then. Too much to process without a processor. Happens to the best of us, and I’ve found the best solution is a cold beer and a warm dog.” Then he drove off through the quiet neighborhood.

As they accelerated, the wind started whipping his hair around through the open window. Normally, it wouldn’t be a bother, but Hank’s hair was much longer than his, and he had to comb it out of his face whenever it got too obtrusive. He was glad he didn’t have long hair: his was long enough to appear amicable and open as was his function as a detective, yet short enough that it kept out of his way.

His hair. As in, the RK800’s hair. Even though that wasn’t his at the moment, he still considered it his. Even though it was actively and currently being used by someone else, he still considered it his. Because he knew that it was only temporary, he justified, and it would be his again soon.

Only temporary. Then back to his short hair, spry figure, adjustable senses, SSD memory, network connection, parallel processes….

When he laid it all out like that, it really did sound like he was talking about a computer. Did that really constitute as a life?

It must, right? He had lived it. He was alive. And now he was living out a human life, so his existence must allow the capability of living.

But it’s temporary, a sampling of what could’ve been before being cut off from real emotions again. Before not being able to feel the sun’s radiation prickle along his skin. Before becoming unable to taste all the cuisines man spent so many centuries refining.

His throat constricted slightly, just enough to become uncomfortable. An unknown reaction like that would have never happened in his own body. He lamented his inability to research what it meant before he remembered Hank’s phone. That was something humans did: frequently check their phones. Some factual research would be a welcome distraction from his inconclusive pessimistic thoughts.

Connor pulled out Hank’s phone, unlocking it with his thumbprint (breaking and entering?). As he loaded the browser and began formulating his first search query, the feeling slowly lessened, disappearing sometime while he was reading the first webpage.

At least he knew that he definitely would not miss how long it took humans to read.

- - - - - - - - - -

He was in the middle of calculating his heart rate, two fingers pressed under his jaw and a half-read article on heart disease on the screen, when the soft radio and rumbling engine shut off. “You’re not killin’ me, are ya?” asked Hank.

“Hopefully not. Just making sure.” Connor got out of the car, waiting for Hank to lock up and get the front door. He decided against finishing the article and put the phone away. He didn’t think the results would make him feel better.

Hank opened the door and threw the keys onto the nearest table. “Howdy, Sumo!” he called as he kicked off his shoes.

Connor spotted the dog in the kitchen, picking his head up but not rising to greet them like usual. He must still be thrown off by earlier. As Connor untied his shoes, Hank crouched by Sumo, scratching his head and saying something he couldn’t hear. Sumo’s tail started thumping on the floor.

Hank jumped to his feet, continuing to hop in place a few times. “Think I can do a backflip?” he asked out of nowhere. “Never seen you do any sick flips.”

“Uh…possibly? It’s not really what my model was designed for, though.”

“Hmm.” He stopped and rolled his shoulders. “Alright, maybe you should try it before I do, then.”

“That would ensure the most safety for all involved.”

“Don’t say that; you’ll make me calculate risks and shit.”

Connor smiled. “I understand.”

“I’m sure you do.” Hank opened the fridge. “How do androids handle their liquor?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

He glanced up over the door. “No shit?”

“Not in the sense that we get drunk. The ethanol is easily combustible and can raise internal temperatures too quickly, potentially boiling thirium.”

“…But a little won’t hurt?”

Connor opened his mouth to contest before Hank raised a finger with a distracted glance. Then he nodded. “One won’t hurt.”

He ignored Connor’s half-hearted arguments as he retrieved two beers, kicked closed the door, and jumped onto the couch. Hank did have more of the facts now than he did…. He’d verify his search later, he concluded, and brought the bottle opener from the coffee table into the living room. “So long as you did your research, Lieutenant.”

“Please. There’s no way I could’ve not.” With an expert flick of the wrist, Hank popped the caps off and held one out. “Wanna watch something?”

Connor sat down, appreciating the compression leaving his bones. The bottle was cold in his hand, becoming more uncomfortable by the second; he minimized contacted surface area by holding the neck between two fingers. “I suppose.”

Saturday afternoon television consisted of a hodgepodge of reruns, final minutes of sports games, and movies. Hank surfed for a bit before settling on a movie that exploded onto the screen in the middle of a fight. Connor, by this point, was reluctantly resigned to his lack of a search engine.

He sipped his beer. It tingled his tongue in a way that reminded him of his coffee earlier—bitter. There was another taste there, too, something that smoothed out the bitterness. It was pleasant; his bet was on ‘sweet.’ Overall, he’d say he liked it. Of course he liked it; Hank had lived off the stuff for years.

Hank’s bottle appeared inches from his face. “It’s just giving me warnings about alcohol flammability. Not worth it.”

“O-Oh….” He reluctantly took it, held it a few seconds, then set it on the table, unsure if he even wanted to finish one, let alone two. Even though the moment had passed by the time he thought of it, he added, “Told you so.”

“Wow. You completely missed both the comedic and vindictive timings there. You’re really out of it.”

“Well. It’s just…. I feel really….” He wrapped his arms around himself, holding his beer off to the side. He wasn’t entirely sure why he did it. It just seemed more secure like that. And warm. “…really weird.”

“Of course you feel weird, this is fuckin’ weird. You were a robot this morning.”

“But am I still?”

“Hm?”

Connor’s voice quieted, not entirely sure what can of worms he was opening. “Am I an android?”

“Of course—”

“I’m not, though,” he interrupted, staring at the table. “To anyone that asked right now, by all definitions of the term, I am not an android. I breathe and have blood and lack even an iota of machinery, so what does it matter that it wasn’t my body yesterday? What’s the difference? Where is the line drawn between us?”

“Maybe there isn’t a difference.”

“Yeah, Hank, I know, I’m a sentient individual just like any human, but isn’t there?” He gripped his sleeve. “Even I know it’s not normal to turn on a computer only to have it demand equal rights. It was a marvel of engineering and nobody knows how it happened, but somehow it made me and millions of others, and now it looks like it’s completely fine for this computer to just continue existing as a human like nothing’s really changed. But god damn it, everything’s changed! Once upon a time CyberLife built a robot and now it’s drinking a beer and questioning existence, so what does that make me? Because it sure as hell doesn’t sound like I’m an android anymore.”

“Oh, boy.” Hank turned to face him, crossing his legs under him and resting his forearms on his knees. “C’mere, look at me.”

Connor took a small breath before turning his head. The RK800 next to him was an odd sight: A highly advanced investigative prototype in somewhat faded jeans and a tee two sizes too big? It would’ve been inconceivable a year ago. It was completely against design, and yet here it was, and in a domestic setting. After a few seconds, he realized the curve in the shoulders was familiar, the arch of the eyebrows sympathetic and recognizable. Even in an RK800 chassis—his chassis—his mannerisms still made it clear it was Hank in there.

Hank watched him with the same careful scrutiny, looking for something in his face. “Kid, I don’t know,” he eventually admitted. “No one knows. Most stumble through life without ever thinking about it. Even CyberLife with all its awards doesn’t know; if they did, we wouldn’t be sitting here in front of a fun house mirror right now.

“So my thoughts on the matter are the same as they were before: To me, it just doesn’t matter. You are who you are. But.” He paused for a moment. His hand moved to rest on the back of his neck as he averted his gaze. “I’m a human in a human’s world. I think not having to worry about identity is a privilege I didn’t realize I have. It’s something we all probably have to come to terms with as androids start to pave their own way. But there really might not be a difference. Humans hate other humans for dumb shit, so I’d bet this is just a continuation of the ‘us and them’ mentality. Maybe all someone needs to exist is a brain that questions if it exists, like that guy said—René Descartes, Discourse on the Method, 1637, “—it was absolutely necessary that I, who thus thought, should be something; And as I observed that this truth, I think, therefore I am—” and so on and such.”

Connor turned slightly to rest his cheek on the back of the couch. It didn’t ease his worries, but his body relaxed into the cushions. “But how can a computer suddenly get life? If the soul is something organic, a machine can’t have one.”

“Having a soul is a belief. It’s something to trust in, to—”

“It’s not, though. It’s a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer: Do I have a soul?”

Hank didn’t answer right away. Connor felt like he was running in circles, dropped into the middle of a void he didn’t know existed yesterday. He felt irritated—confused—helpless—and at the same time, weak, like he should just give up and curl up on the couch and try to forget it all.

“Connor.”

He opened his eyes. (When did they close?)

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” said Hank. His LED cycled yellow. “And I think we’ve done enough building for one day. So why don’t you have some more alcohol and go take a nap, hm?”

“Wh—” The suggestion temporarily took up his entire processing capacity. He blinked and clarified, “I should go sleep? I’m only human for an afternoon and I should sleep?”

“Sure, why not? You look tired. Ah-ah—!” He held up a hand to cut off his rebuttal. “And we don’t know when exactly this’ll wear off or if I’ll get notified about it. Wouldn’t want you passing out on your feet, dropping my empty body to smash its head on something.”

That was a good point. “I could just stay here, though. Is it really the best use of my time right now to sleep?”

“To sleep, perchance to dream. Who knows,” Hank smirked, “maybe you’ll count some electric sheep. I kinda want to know.”

His lips parted, trying to parse the random statement. He wagered a guess and said, “That’s a reference that I can’t look up right now.”

“I’ll give you points for that. It’s a book. Only seen the movie, though. Oh.” Hank’s eyes narrowed slightly, glaring into the middle distance. “I just got the strangest urge to hit myself. I think your body’s biased, Connor. CyberLife has it out for me and my Blade Runner addiction.”

“I….” He was so lost right now. “I don’t…think that’s true?”

“Beer.” With a pat on his shoulder, Hank stood up, arms crossed. “It’ll help you sleep better.”

Connor sighed. Maybe enough was enough for one day. Maybe he just needed time to think things through. Hank was looking down at him in a way that made it clear he didn’t really have a choice, either. Not to mention looking down at him wearing his face, which made his stomach condense into an uncomfortable knot. He took a longer sip of his beer before setting the half-empty bottle next to its twin. “Alright,” he conceded, pushing himself to his feet. “Alright. Thanks, Hank.”

He stumbled, pulled into a hug. Hank wrapped his arms around his neck and shoulders, and after a moment of surprise, Connor hesitantly did the same. His clothes were soft, his skin smooth and cool, much cooler than when he was human. He realized he was the warmer of the two now and wondered why Hank ever bothered hugging an android when there didn’t seem to be anything to gain from it.

But then Hank tightened his grip and rested his chin on his shoulder, and immediately Connor felt relieved—secure—contented—stable—his anxieties melting away—like he could just stay like this and forget the future. His breath caught. Like all that mattered was here and now.

And he felt okay with that.

“Your hair’s tickling my ear. My hair. Why hasn’t anyone told me that before.”

Connor smiled. Typical Hank, shirking from being too sentimental.

“And you’re just a little shorter than me. I gotta crane my neck a bit now to do this.”

“Alright, I get it.” He pulled away, combing back his hair.

Hank snickered and waved him off. “Open the blinds if you want.” He returned to the couch, clicking his tongue to call Sumo.

Connor glanced at the TV, movie forgotten. It still looked the same as when they turned it on. He patted Sumo as he walked by before heading to Hank’s room.

He left the door open behind him. He wasn’t even really sure if he could sleep. Does he just lie there or…? Whatever the case, a fluffy pillow looked comfortable to rest his head against. He lied down on his back, folding his hands over his midriff. The quiet sounds of the television grew softer still—Hank must’ve turned down the volume.

Like each time before, not having gravity compressing his shoulders was an instant subtle relief. He sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe it’ll just happen? He wasn’t aware of humans having manual control over their states of consciousness. If he tried to think less, maybe it would trigger the low-power mode that is sleep.

He shouldn’t be here. This shouldn’t be a problem that androids ever have to experience. But it was also an opportunity to see something no one has before. He should try to be in the moment. He can pick apart the details later.

What did Hank make a joke about, counting sheep? That was a saying that sounded familiar: something mundane to lull him into a passive thought process. Might as well give it a try.

He got bored of sheep after forty-one and decided to instead list and picture dog breeds alphabetically. He remembered getting to the Finnish Spitz, after which it got hazy, like the world had faded away.

[next >]

#Detroit Become Human #Connor RK800 #Hank Anderson #body swap #DBH #DBH fanfiction #my writing #Back home with the family now for the time being #got a puppy sleeping on my arm while I type this #can't use my left hand #sleepy 20wk-old dane

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nadziejastar · 5 years

Note

What was Lea’s personality during BBS and after? Up to Kh3? (U probably did this, but I love your analysis on Kh Isa and Lea)

Lea/Axel: The Alchemical Trickster

“The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.” – Carl Jung

Thank you! It is rather fun to write about Lea and Isa. ^_^

Well, actually I haven’t done a full write-up of Lea’s personality, though that was one of the many ideas I’ve had stirring around in my head. So, I’m glad you asked the question. More than anything I think Lea/Axel embodies the Trickster Archetype, which is an example of a Jungian Archetype. I picked up a very strong Jungian influence in the KH series. Jung’s famous quote on the shadow side of the human psyche is very similar to what The Fairy Godmother told Aqua in Birth By Sleep.

Carl Jung, The Trickster Archetype

A primitive cosmic being of divine-animal nature, on the one hand superior to man because of his superhuman qualities, and on the other hand inferior to him because of his unreason and unconsciousness. The more civilized we become, the more we will blame a “shadow” for our misfortunes. Like the trickster of old, the shadow represents a quality that isn’t accepted into the awareness. It can ‘pester’ us unmercifully but always has a gift for us, a missing quality, an attitude needed to cope, or self-realization.

Carl Jung’s explanation for the archetypes that surface in cultural and religious literature is that they are the product of what he calls the collective unconsciousness. That thread of consciousness that connects all human beings and cultures around the world. Jung would say The Trickster is a manifestation of our own collective unconscious.

In mythology, and in the study of folklore and religion, a trickster is a character in a story (god, goddess, spirit, human, or anthropomorphisation), which exhibits a great degree of intellect or secret knowledge, and uses it to play tricks or otherwise disobey normal rules and conventional behavior.The Trickster is an alchemist, a magician, creating realities in the duality of time and illusion. The Fool survives in modern playing cards as the Joker.

The Trickster is an important archetype in the history of man. He is a god, yet he is not. He is the wise-fool. It is he who points out the flaws in carefully constructed societies of man. He rebels against authority, pokes fun at the overly serious, creates convoluted schemes, that may or may not work, plays with the Laws of the Universe and is sometimes his own worst enemy. He exists to question, and to cause us to question and not accept things blindly. He appears when a way of thinking becomes outmoded, needs to be torn down, and built anew. He is the Destroyer of Worlds, and at the same time, the savior of us all.

In later folklore, the Trickster/Clown is incarnated as a clever, mischievous man or creature, who tries to survive the dangers and challenges of the world using trickery and deceit as a defense. He also is known for entertaining people as a clown does. The Trickster seems to be a comedy of opposites. For every good aspect of his persona there is an equal and opposite aspect. In religious stories his role is very diverse. He is the breaker of taboos. He provides comic relief to a religious myth. And he will pull off elaborate schemes to teach a moral lesson or expose the folly of men.

Tricksters “…violate principles of social and natural order, playfully disrupting normal life and then re-establishing it on a new basis.” The trickster crosses and often breaks both physical and societal rules. That’s why I think Axel’s weapons are based on the Sigil of Chaos. The weapon on the right, Dive Bomb is a combination of the Chaos Sigil and an alchemical vector, representing the union of Mercury and Sulfur, Sol and Luna, The Red King and White Queen of alchemy. Or the King and Queen of the Night, as Saïx’s weapons are so aptly named. I have absolutely no doubt that Lea was gonna “Dive Bomb” right into his boyfriend’s heart and wake his sleeping ass up.

Kairi: “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

Axel: “I’m not. But not really a good guy, either.”

The Trickster behaves as he does from impulses over which he has no control, possessing no values, moral or social; he is at the mercy of his passions and appetites. The others in Trickster stories possess similar traits: the animals, the various supernatural beings and monsters, and man.

Often, the bending/breaking of rules takes the form of tricks or thievery. Tricksters can be cunning or foolish or both. The trickster openly questions and mocks authority. They are usually male characters, and are fond of breaking rules, boasting, and playing tricks on both humans and gods.

According to Jung, through the Trickster we can see that “individuals have the power to recognize their shadows and in doing so, choose the better part.” It is in the Trickster these combinations of qualities are recognized as being in the world, and from the Trickster we learn existential lessons as to the consequences of letting our darker side rule our lives.

There is another side to the Trickster. As the giver of all great boons—the fire-bringer, teacher of mankind—it is common for the Trickster to be a creator figure who created the earth and brings culture and civilization to humans. Among the Classical Greeks, Prometheus as creator brought into being all of the world’s animals. For this he was badly punished by Zeus. One of Axel’s weapons is named Prometheus.

Day 299: The Value of a Lie

Roxas doesn’t trust me after the whole Xion incident, but I can’t tell him the truth yet. So I keep lying. It’s no big deal when you’re a Nobody. There’s no guilt, no feeling at all. So why does it still sting, just a little, when I lie to him? All my dealings with Roxas give me this bizarre illusion of humanity.

The Trickster of Greek mythology was a god by the name of Hermes. He is the Magician Arcana in the Alchemical Tarot.He is also the patron of thieves and the inventor of lying. Once again we see a sort of bridge between the average man and the gods. Hermes is the only god in Greek mythology that is born to a nymph (a mortal). Also with Hermes we see the recurring theme of flight. Hermes is said to have wings on either side of his head. It makes the scene where Axel flies in Neverland that much more enjoyable.

Physical reality is a game in which the Trickster challenges us at every turn. That is his role in the duality of this bio-genetic experiment in linear time. The Trickster is a teacher, survivor, and hero—always traveling, outrageous and cunning, foolish and wise, mischievous and often doing good despite himself. He is a metaphor for the evolution of consciousness in the alchemy of time.

In modern literature the Trickster survives as a character archetype, not necessarily supernatural or divine, therefore better described as a stock character. The Trickster seems to have supernatural powers which help him perform his tricks. He lives, dies, comes back, shape shifts, all sorts of magic as our reality is nothing more than an illusion. It is the mythology of our reality, birth, death, and rebirth from the ashes, the flame of creation.

The Trickster is almost always portrayed as male. In the duality he represents the lower emotions, lower chakras, that which gets us into mischief. This represents the aggressive side that deals with the lower frequency emotions: jealousy, anger, self destruction, rage, depression, even mental illness. The Trickster is the emotional body, our Inner Child or wounded soul, who evolves in our lifetimes as it spirals back to higher light.

Frequently the Trickster figure exhibits gender variability, changing gender roles and engaging in same-sex practices. Such figures appear in Native American and First Nations mythologies, where they are said to have a Two-Spirit nature. Even Artemis (one of Saïx’s weapons named after a goddess) was said to engage in cross-dressing. So it makes TOTAL sense to me that Lea and Isa were intended by the writers to be, yes, a romantic pairing.

Carl Jung was also a well-known proponent of alchemy. According to a manuscript in Jung’s collection published in his book Psychology and Alchemy, the Emperor and Empress of the Tarot deck represent the Red King and White Queen at the beginning of the great work, known as magnum opus.

The Empress and Emperor are put at the end of the Alchemical Tarot sequence, symbolizing the end product of their marriage: The Philosopher’s Stone. Like Jung’s Alchemical Tarot deck, Luxord’s deck ALSO ends its sequence with the Emperor and Empress cards. It’s for this reason I think that Luxord’s deck actually tells a story using the Alchemical Tarot as its foundation— Lea and Isa’s story as the alchemical Red King and White Queen, to be precise. It tells their love story SO perfectly. But that is a meta that I’m still working on.

Like Saïx/Isa, I also believe that Lea/Axel was inspired by the Zodiac signs, particualy the Fire Triad. Aries lives in the moment and moves fast and furiously. They’re natural-born leaders, and impossible to ignore. They are always ready to take charge and conquer whatever challenge they meet. Courageous and competitive, Aries is a powerful force, carving paths through new territory to find undiscovered treasures. This fearless sign lives life as a warrior, infusing everything it touches with fire, passion, and strength.

Aries’ Tarot Card: In Tarot, The Emperor card is a masterful representation of the zodiac sign Aries. The Emperor is a natural leader, just like Aries. The Emperor represents Aries’ loyalty and ability to stick by others through thick and thin. Like the royal figure on this card, Aries uses its sense of authority to help others, and to achieve its own goals.

Aries’ Symbol: The Ram represents courage, action, initiative, and authority. These traits are the backbone of Aries’ characteristics, and help Aries take every part of life head-on.

Aries’ Ruling Planet: Aries is ruled by Mars – the Red Planet, or the warrior planet. These two have been linked since ancient times, as Mars is the Roman God of War, and Ares is the Greek God of War. Mars is a planet of great action, aggression, and drive, influencing what we do, and how we do it, and enhancing the active energy of Aries. Mars is considered a pioneer of new territory, just like the Aries Ram. Among the 12 Zodiac signs, there is one specific sign in which a planet functions at its optimum. This is called its sign of “Exaltation.” The Sun is exalted in Aries.

Aries’ Ruling House: As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries rules the 1st House of Self. The 1st house is a representation of your overall self – the personality and traits that make you uniquely you. Aries’ connection to the 1st House of Self speaks to this sign’s pioneering nature, its bravery, and independence. Aries’ desire to create, identify, and deepen its sense of self is what the 1st house is all about.

Aries’ Element: The element of Fire fuels Aries’ courageous demeanor and desire for life. Fire is a self-motivated and high-spirited force that yearns to freely express itself and cannot be contained. Like a volcano, without warning, Aries is prone to bursts of enthusiasm or aggression. Aries embodies the Fire element through their identity and ego, acting as a trailblazer and a leader.

Aries’ Color: Red is the color of passion, excitement, and Fire, which supports Aries’ active energy and eagerness for life. Red is a vibrant color that demands attention – and Aries is a sign that doesn’t like to be ignored. It’s also no surprise that Aries’ ruling planet, Mars, is known as “The Red Planet”. The more red Aries surrounds itself with, the greater their natural powers can be.

Ruled by the vibrant Sun and driven by the warmth of its Fire element, the charming, magnificent, and dramatic Lion is the life of the party and loves attention. With its shining heart of gold, Leo is a loyal lover and a proud and courageous leader. This sign of the Lion embodies an air of royalty, just like the kings and queens of the jungle. Sometimes expressive to a fault, you’ll find them to be some of the most generous souls you’ll ever meet.

Leo’s Tarot Card: Leo is empowered by its Tarot card, Strength. In most Tarot decks, a Lion is featured prominently on this card, representing an obvious relationship with Leo the Lion. This card embodies nature in its most primal form, allowing the Lion to be and to express its true self. The Strength card is not only about physical strength, but also about strength of heart, mind, and soul. This card reminds Leo to balance its brute force and powerful roar with compassion, generosity, and love.

Leo’s Symbol: The Lion is known most for its strength and bravery as it rules over the jungle as one of the most powerful animals. The sign of Leo mirrors many aspects of this magnificent and royal feline, like instinct, affection, strength, and bravery.

Leo’s Ruling Planet: The expressive Sun is associated with the zodiac sign Leo. Just like the Sun is the center of the solar system, Leo likes to be the center of everyone’s attention. In Astrology, Leos are known to dazzle with charm, drama, and warmth. The Sun is a physical manifestation of all these characteristics.

Leo’s Ruling House: As the fifth sign of the zodiac, warm-hearted Leo rules over the 5th House of Pleasure. Both playful and full of energy, Leo the Lion feels right at home in this house that’s all about fun, creativity, and expression. And thanks to Leo’s frisky, flirty ways, this house also holds great clues to your romantic life, and the rewards love holds for you.

Leo’s Element: Leo is a Fire sign that shines as the center of attention wherever it goes. The element of Fire ignites Leo’s desire for life, drive for love, and eagerness for action. Like a roaring bonfire, Leo’s energy radiates warmth and lights up even the darkest nights. All it takes is one little spark to set Leo ablaze with with bold expression, brave choices, and powerful confidence.

Leo’s Color: Regal and bright, gold is the color for Leo the Lion. Glistening with royalty and class, gold has always been a symbol of power and prestige. So it’s no wonder Leo – the King of the Jungle – is represented by this expressive shade. When caught in the light, gold will glisten and shine so brightly it’s almost blinding. Just like Leo’s flamboyant nature, the color gold oozes with warmth, positivity, and attention.

Ruled by Jupiter, the planet of growth and opportunity, the sign of the Archer is an eternal student, looking for enlightenment through new ideas, people, and places. Sagittarius is on the hunt for the biggest, best experiences life has to offer. They have a positive and outgoing personality that makes them the life of any party. With a love of adventure and all things exotic, the worldly Archer just wants to soak it all in. Sagittarius is driven by a constant need to explore and expand its mind, heart, and awareness to the fullest extent. Fiery and free, Sagittarius knows that the only limits are the ones we create ourselves.

Sagittarius’ Tarot Card: Wise and understanding Sagittarius is connected to the Temperance Tarot card. The gentle process of tempering is about finding a perfect middle state, combining the best of all things to forge something that is stronger than the sum of its parts. By bringing the power of the philosophical world into their physical world, Sagittarius makes itself a source of ultimate truth and awareness.

Sagittarius’ Symbol: The zodiac sign Sagittarius is associated with the Archer, Chiron, and its glyph represents an arrow. Always eager to explore new horizons, the Archer sets its sights on a faraway target, then shoots toward it with precision. This focus on learning more, doing more, and seeing more is what Sagittarius is all about.

One of the tales about Chiron relates that he received a wound from a poisoned arrow. But because of his wisdom, he had been granted the gift of immortality from the gods. So he couldn’t die. But neither could the wound heal, for the poison was from a deadly serpent. So Chiron is the figure of the wounded healer, the sage who has an incurable injury yet who, because of his injury, understands the nature of pain far better than others.

Sagittarius’ Ruling Planet: Larger-than-life Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion. In Roman mythology, Jupiter was the king of the gods, the biggest and the best. In Astrology Jupiter is known as the “benefic” planet, meaning it is the luckiest, most opportunistic planet of all. This positive energy influences Sagittarius’ optimistic, enlightening, and outgoing nature that shines and spreads through anyone they come into contact with. As the largest planet in our cosmos, Jupiter’s vastness encourages Sagittarius to stretch its mind and heart as far as it can.Sagittarius’ Ruling House: As the 9th sign in the zodiac, Sagittarius rules over the 9th House of Expansion. This house reveals how open our minds are, and how much we expand ourselves through education, exploration, and life lessons. From philosophical conversations to book research to world travel, the 9th house encourages you to go further than you’ve ever gone before. Sagittarius’ drive for adventure, growth, and awareness is strongly represented here.

Sagittarius’ Element: The zodiac sign Sagittarius is a Fire sign that lights up our lives with profound questions and exciting ideas. Just like an uncontrollable wildfire, this sign will happily go where the wind takes them to seek new experiences. Sagittarius uses its Fire energy on its lifelong journey of exploration, always ready to jump at the next adventure. The element of Fire continues to fuel Sagittarius’ never ending supply of optimism and inspiration.

Sagittarius’ Color: Purple is a color of abundance, which encourages Sagittarius’ natural luck and its drive to expand its mind and world. The color purple is also associated with spirituality and enlightenment, empowering Sagittarius’ philosophical explorations and lifelong quest for knowledge.

#kh axel #kh lea #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts meta #kh meta #anti-kh3 #kh leaisa #kh isalea #kh akusai #leaisa #isalea #akusai #kh isa

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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years

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Book Roundup April/May 2019

This spring has been exceptionally difficult and busy for me on both a personal and professional level. I really haven’t had the time to read as I’d like--so I’m combining April and May. With that being said, there were some good books within the past couple of months--Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan was DEFINITELY a huge highlight.

Call Me Evie by J.P. Pomare. 2/5. Kate is held in a remote cabin by Ben--who holds her captive while claiming to protect her from the fallout of something terrible that she did. The trouble is that Kate can’t remember the night that terrible thing happened. As she struggles to piece together her memories, what Bill tells her isn’t matching up--and she must reconcile who she is with what she did. I’m sure that lots of people would love this book, but the pacing was thrown off for me by all of the flashbacks. It’s not you, it’s me.

Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan. 5/5. Nadya is a Kalyazi cleric, and as such she can commune with--and draw supernatural power from--a pantheon of gods. She’s spent her life in a monastery; however, a looming threat finally materializes in the form of Tranavian invaders, heretics that send Nadya on the run. Falling in with Malachiasz, a Tranavian defector, she sets out to end the war she only way she knows how: by killing the Tranavian king. Meanwhile, Serefin, the heir to the throne, is summoned home from the front--only to discover that he’s in more danger at home than abroad. This is a wonderfully atmospheric and delightful novel. Emily never holds back--you get monsters, you get royal politics, you get alcoholic princes and questions of theology. And there is a romance that I’m absolutely obsessed with, which is always major for me. I loved this book to death, and there is one bit at the very end that just got at my soul. I can’t wait for the next installment!

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. 3/5. Kya is a young child when her mother walks out on the family; it isn’t long before her brother and father follow suit, leaving Kya as the borderline-feral Marsh Girl. At first, she’s dependent on the kindness of strangers. But gradually--with the help of friends and Tate, a boy who will become her first love--she becomes independent, if never truly accepted by the nearby townspeople. Her way of life is shattered when a young man shows up dead--and she is accused of murder. On the plus side, this book was very engaging, and some the descriptions were at times beautiful. If you’re from the South, some things will indeed ring true. It’s not perfect, but it is engaging, and a fun if predictable read... until the last third or so, when everything kind of collapses and the book’s flaws are emphasized in a big way. I really, really disliked how much Owens went in on the “untouched wild beauty” thing with Kya. It felt very fetishistic. She’s this beautiful poor white girl living feral in the marsh... learning everything she knows from black people, by the way. And all the men love her and want to have sex with her. I’m honestly just torn about this one; I feel like I would have given it a lower rating if not for how much I did enjoy the first chunk.

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang. 4/5. Khai is accomplished and handsome; however, he’s never had a girlfriend. On the autism spectrum, he’s convinced himself that he’s incapable of love. His mother has other ideas--and while visiting her homeland in Vietnam, she meets Esme. She offers the single mother a golden opportunity: visit America for the summer and convince Khai to marry her. If he refuses, she can go home, no strings attached. It’s too much for Esme to possibly turn down--but making Khai fall in love with her is a much more difficult task than she first imagined. This wasn’t quite up to par with Hoang’s debut (the delightful Kiss Quotient) but I did really, really like it. Her trademark humor is there, as is her sensitivity and knack for sweet romance. Khai and Esme’s story is just kind of lovely. (And sexy.) I did feel like the ending was a bit rushed--I wanted more. But I’d recommend it any day, and can’t wait for Hoang’s next book.

Little Darlings by Melanie Golding. 2/5. Following the birth of her twins, Morgan and Riley, young mother Lauren is exhausted. Therefore, few believe her when she says that she saw a woman slip into her hospital room and attempt to replace her babies with strange creatures. A month later, the boys briefly go missing in the park--and when they’re found, Lauren insists that the things that have been returned to her are not her children. This may have been a bad fit for me--I love magical realism and changelings, but the overwhelming depressing darkness of this book was just... not even vaguely enjoyable. And it did help put me off of having children for a looong time, if ever. I couldn’t focus on the writing quality; it was just so dour.

From Scratch by Tembi Locke. 5/5. This memoir tracks the first few years following the death of Tembi’s husband, Saro, following a long battle with cancer. As she visits his Sicilian family each summer with their daughter, she flashes back to the early days of their courtship and marriage--as well as her in-law’s initial struggles over the fact that their Italian chef son married an African-American actress. “From Scratch” is LOVINGLY written and painfully beautiful. It made me want to be more open to falling in love, as cheesy as that sounds--what Tembi and Saro shared was clearly worth all of the pain she’d feel after seeing him slowly deteriorate and ultimately losing him... which is saying something. Locke also has a talent for writing in general, but especially about food. I appreciated her human examination of the prejudice she faced; it’s really obviously on her to decide whether or not to reconcile with people who treated her with clear racism, but... She also clearly loves and is loved by her mother-in-law now. The honest complexity in that relationship is refreshing. I don’t usually love memoirs, but this one was fantastic.

The Unlikely Adventures of the Chergill Sisters by Balli Kaur Jaswal. 4/5. Rajni, Jezmeen, and Shirina aren’t estranged, exactly, but they don’t have much in common either. But after their mother’s death, it’s revealed that she charged them with a journey through their ancestral homeland of India. With each sister carrying secret struggles, they unite in an attempt to fulfill their mother’s wishes--and come to terms with their relationships with not only her, but each other. Balli Kaur Jaswal is so good. And even if I didn’t love this quite as much as Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows, it’s still quite good. She’s a rare author who can blend genuinely funny moments with high drama (that is often socially aware). There is one subplot that I didn’t super love due to its implications, but otherwise I really enjoyed the book and the sisters.

Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev. 3/5. Trisha Raje is a successful surgeon--who is nonetheless alienated by her blue-blooded family due to her history. When she meets DJ Caine, a high-profile chef in the running to cook for the prestigious fundraisers supporting her brother’s political campaign, it’s dislike at first sight. He can’t stand her snobbish bossiness; she finds his assumptions about her frustrating and demeaning. But even if DJ didn’t need the job, they can’t avoid each other--because Trisha is the only person who can save DJ’s terminally ill sister. So: Dev says that this is very loosely inspired by Pride and Prejudice, but as the title suggests it’s VERY inspired by Pride and Prejudice. Points for the genders being swapped here--though DJ does stand in part for Darcy, he’s the Lizzie of this story--and Dev does a great job of bringing cultural backgrounds and social issues into the forefront without beating us over the head with it. But for whatever reason, I never really clicked with Trisha and DJ’s romance, and the Wickham side of this was... not great. Still, it’s a fun read and it made me very hungry. Not bad for a day by the pool!

#books #book roundup #book recs

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 5 years

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Witness: Donda

Creator name (AO3): Donda

Creator name (Tumblr): thatonezombiecosplayer

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donda

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: I kind of just tend to find one thing I like, and latch onto it with a deathgrip, though there's not really one specific reason I latched onto Mad Max. The only post-apocalyptic thing I had any interest in prior to Fury Road was a comic called Romantically Apocalyptic, but I wouldn't have called myself a die-hard fan of the genre. I think it was just that Fury Road was such a fantastic movie in so many ways that it really caught my attention, and then when I got involved in the fandom, I found it to be all around a really really great group of people, and they were talking about such interesting things, and I just fell in love and decided this was my fandom home! Since then, I've made some really good friends through this fandom and gotten involved in Wasteland Weekend because of it, so this fandom will always remain near and dear to me.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: I really like to take this dark, gritty world, and make it kind of light and fun, honestly. Or at least as much as one can without completely detracting from the reality of the state of the world. I've written a couple of darker or more serious fics, but my favorite things to write involve putting a touch of magic or an interesting little twist into the world, and handling the sillier side of things.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: I think I had equal amounts of fun writing my Pocket Sized and Corvus Cormax, because they were just light and silly and kind of intriguing situations for me. I also really really enjoyed writing No Going Back, even though it was on the more serious side of things for me. The prompt just grabbed my imagination, and I was really inspired to write from start to finish. For most difficult, I'll have to go with Consonance, because I am presently stuck on it and have been for months and if you were reading and enjoying that one, I am so so sorry. D: Convalescence got the most hits and kudos overall, but I think that was mostly just because it was posted very early in the Fury Road fandom. Just based on response, I'd say Corvus Cormax was my most popular/successful, and was also my favorite overall.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Hopeful with a bit of humor and sometimes a little wasteland magic. I'm into escapism first and foremost, so the least like our own world I can make things, the more enjoyable.

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: The idea itself usually sparks scenes in my head, and I build around those. Sometimes I'll be writing along and think of something I'd like to happen down the line, or a scene will just start playing through my head, so I'll go write that, and connect the pieces later. Which can sort of cause problems, because when I go writing all the good bits first, filling in the bits in between that are less interesting can get tedious. When I hit a patch that just leaves me completely stuck, most often running the fic by someone else and bouncing ideas around with them helps me tremendously. I tend to like to write from the comfort of my room where there aren't a lot of distractions, but sometimes I'll write on my phone if I'm away from my computer and bored or inspired.

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Honestly I basically always listen to my entire music library on random. It's super eclectic, but I'm so familiar with all my songs that it's basically just background noise. Very occasionally I will skip a song that's not suiting the mood of what I'm writing, but mostly anything goes.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Getting stuck sucks so much and is my most common problem, because sometimes I feel like I have just exhausted all ideas and there's nowhere to go. Bouncing ideas off of other people always helps, but often I avoid that either because I don't want to bother people, or because I'm super protective of my works until I consider them done. I don't know, I just like people to read the work in it's finalized form, as I intend it to be read, and not in some incomplete messy state.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: I'm sure my writing has improved, but it's been such a fluid process that I'm not really sure! I guess I've grown and my work has changed in that I've gotten braver in my ideas, more willing to just go for something and not worry about people thinking it's silly or I'm weird.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: I'm aro/ace myself, so fandom ships have never been a big draw of mine. I tag a lot of my works with "platonic soulmates" because I've just fallen in love with the idea of Max and Furiosa being very close to each other, but not romantically or sexually. They have a really interesting dynamic, and I like to explore them really getting to know each other completely platonically.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: I've explored some headcanons in my writing, and built on ideas in ways that let me sort of see more into the movie, imagine things under the surface beyond the canon, and feel like I know the motivations behind certain characters' actions, even if it's never explained.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: My works stand alone for the most part. I've got two series that each consist of a couple fics that follow the same timeline, but otherwise each of my fics is a completely different world.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: *Chanting* break canon, break canon, break canon. I like playing with new ideas! Sometimes it's fun to explore some headcanons with fic and build on the movie that way, but I've found that taking the canon and changing a detail and letting it play out from there is the most fun.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: Immortal!Max is my biggest and most-loved headcanon. I like the idea that he's only sort of peripherally aware of it, too. He knows it's been a pretty long time since the fall of the world, and he's catching on that people who appear his age were born after the fall, but if it even has sunk in that he's not aging and not dying, he actively tries not to think about it too much because that seems like Too Much and he's not ready to face that. He's accepted it as a possibility, but he doesn't put much weight on it. It's just part of him now, and all he can do is live with it.

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: Eheh... My OCs are basically fleshed out juuuust enough to be believable and I put zero effort into them beyond that, to be honest. They're often only there to help along the story for the canon characters, and then I toss them away and never think about them again.

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.?

A: I don't know if my methods will work for anybody else, but three things: 1) imagine the scene like it's a movie playing out in front of you, before writing, while writing, and while re-reading. It helps me keep track of who is where, what's going on, and it makes any continuity mistakes really jump out at me. 2) really get into your characters' heads, think like they do, and share their motivations for what they're doing and their thoughts at what is going on around them in your writing. I think that helps people relate to them more and get into the story more, and it makes you think about how characters would react in realistic, if not always outwardly reasonable, ways. 3) Proof read like a crazy person. This may be weird, but similar to how I get into my characters' heads when I write, I also sort of get into... well, not my own head, when I re-read my works. I try to put myself in a different perspective, and proof-reading my fics with a different mindset really helps me see things that didn't end up making sense the first time around, or sound off, or might be confusing if you don't already know where I was going with it. If I'm thinking like I was when I wrote it, of course everything's going to make sense and work the way I imagined it. If I throw out those preconceptions and intentions, it can almost seem completely new to me, like it would be to a reader reading it for the first time.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I would love to visit Australia, though honestly when I do, priority number one is going to be bats, weird marsupials, and other wildlife. Australia stands out to me mostly as being this weird giant island where evolution just went fucking crazy. But Wasteland Weekend! Hoo boy am I involved in Wasteland Weekend, let me tell you, and I absolutely love it. I love the themed areas and how they completely immerse you in the world, I love the community (seriously, some of the best people I have ever met) and even though it was originally built on Mad Max, which is generally a pretty violent, hard world, I love the atmosphere people create there: the idea that even if the world ended and society as we know it collapsed, people would coexist, look out for each other, and celebrate life. 10/10, highly recommend, hit me up if you plan on attending in the future.

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: I've unfortunately fallen out of writing quite a bit for the time being, so no planned projects outside of what I'm currently working on, but boy let me tell you how much I love the one I'm co-writing with Catlady! We've put a ton of thought and worldbuilding into it, and a lot of character development in the works for Max, as well as his developing relationship with Furiosa. It's an AU that really gets my imagination going, and I'm super excited for some of the things we have planned. If you like Fae and wasteland magic and discovering/learning to accept oneself, go check out our fic Forgotten Ways!

Thank you @thatonezombiecosplayer

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #mad max fanfic #mad max fanfic author spotlight #fury road fanfic #fanfic author spotlight #donda #thatonezombiecosplayer

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dreadhaus-literature · 5 years

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{Writing Research} Obsessives

It’s no secret I’ve got a love affair with obsession. I could dive into why that is, I’ve talked about it a few times before, but that’s not the purpose of this post. No, the purpose, the focus of this post, is to explore the nature of Obsessives, the different types there are, and to establish more of a clear cut style of obsession so that I can refer back to it for my own personal writing.

I’ve said before but I don’t often feel like I’m scratching the itch I have when I write about Obsessives. It never feels like enough, and I’m hoping the work I’m putting into this will help. Maybe it’s a sense of disorganization? I know what I want to portray, but there’s so much beneath the surface it’s like trying to fit the ocean in a paper cup. I’m constantly feeling like I’m missing things, like I’m not really conveying the desperation, the “I’ll die without you,” level of obsession that’s enjoyable for me to write and to experience as a reader. It’s important to me that I get this right. I may be writing it instead of experiencing it but I enjoy it in all capacities so it needs to be done correctly.

So let’s start with the basics.

What is an Obsessive?

An obsession is defined as “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind”. To expand on that, when I think of someone who is obsessively in love, that’s the base, the foundation. It’s a love that’s all consuming, so that even day to day interactions or routines are plagued with thoughts of the Obsessive’s desire--who I will, for the sake of clarity, be labeling “Beloved”.

I.E., an Obsessive has a Beloved, the person who is their fixation.

An Obsessive may or may not know the right way to love someone. Some are more self-aware than others, they’re aware their love might be perceived as wrong or that the lengths they’ve gone to achieve it is wrong, but that won’t stop them from obtaining their Beloved--at least, I won’t be stopping them. Some writers don’t write their Obsessives actually gaining their Beloved but I think that’s weak. This is fantasy, and it doesn’t need to be a healthy relationship. Some things that would be abuse in reality I will write about in a fantasy setting and I won’t be labeling it as abuse--don’t like it? Don’t read it. I enjoy what I enjoy and this is the only time during this entire piece that I’m going to address this.

One thing that I will be taking away from my Obsessives versus what they’re like in reality, is that in reality people who are obsessed or who stalk victims, nine times out of ten, will change their obsession if their victims moves away. I am writing Obsessives for a reason, so once they’ve got their sights on their Beloved, that’s not going to change. I liken it to a soulmate. The Obsessive is convinced, wholly and entirely, that their Beloved is the only one for them. It won’t change, no matter what. That’s part of the appeal, that there’s nothing that can change this person’s love of you. You never need to doubt or worry that a Obsessive will ever fall out out love with you; once they’ve fallen, that’s it. The only way the story will end is with the two of you together, in whatever context they can have you--and yes, I am including murder. If the only way they can have you is as a corpse, that’s how the story will end.

Before I dive into the different types of Obsessive I’ve categorized, I want to add one final note--I mentioned above that I will be writing “abusive” behavior that will not be considered abusive in my stories. To add onto that, I want it to be seen as a positive. Everything these Obsessives do is in the name of love for their Beloved and is not done to be abusive, hurtful, or mean. So if you see something, like controlling behavior, you need to step outside of reality if you find yourself questioning it or having a negative reaction to it. These aren’t being written to turn a reader off, they’re written for the opposite actually--this is meant to be enjoyed. So if you find yourself reading about these Obsessives and you’re turned off by an idea, try and ask yourself, “Are you looking at this from a reality standpoint? Are you taking this to be a negative?” Suspending disbelief is important in all types of fantasy, and that includes taboo relationships like Obsessives.

Remember, they love you. Forever and ever and ever. ♥

The Different Types of Obsessives

In my research of this particular personality trait, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are different types of Obsessives. No two are exactly alike, which bodes the question--what types are there?

I’ve broken my Obsessives down to the following eight types:

Manipulative

Possessive

Controlling

Delusional

Aggressive

Sadistic

Masochistic

Protective

This classification of Obsessives doesn’t mean a character can’t or won’t display other traits, or that they don’t fit into multiple classifications--a character may possess all Obsessive traits or fit into all classifications listed above. Really, the main purpose of splitting them up like this is just to help identify immediately what an Obsessive might do or be known for.

I.E., A Manipulative Obsessive could still also be a Sadistic and a Delusional but be classed as Manipulative because that is the first place they go to when presented with their Beloved and obstacles surrounding the potential relationship.

And don’t worry, the next section will explain these types in far more detail, so that you can kind of get a clearer understanding of where I’m coming from with these labels.

I’m a firm believer in that any character can be or do anything you want them to. If you’re keen on saying a specific character can’t or wouldn’t do something, that’s your personal hang-up, and I’m not here for it--in fact I’m here for the polar opposite, and I’ve kind of made it my mission statement to prove others wrong. I enjoy Obsessives, a lot, and so I like the thought that any character I like could be one. That’s also part of why I made this classification, because no two Obsessives are alike and that might be why you assume someone like Steve Rogers, for example, couldn’t be an Obsessive.

...Until you break down what an Obsessive actually is, and find that the Protective Obsessive fits him really well.

That’s the key here; you can have anything you want in fantasy, that’s the whole point of it, and that’s why I’m exploring these traits, these types of characters. So don’t be afraid to indulge and enjoy what’s being presented instead of telling yourself this is OOC or can’t be done. I’m here to tell you, you can make anything work if this is what you want.

It’s what I want, so here we are. ♥

Classification Descriptions

As promised, I’m going to start breaking down the description of the Obsessive classifications so it’s clear what each type is capable of or is known for. The purpose of breaking it down is so you can see that any character could be tipped to be an Obsessive--it doesn’t matter who they are, everyone has the potential to fit into these categories, because everyone is capable of anything, especially when it comes to love and the desperate need to keep it.

In each classification I’m going to cover:

Definition and Defining Adjectives

Typical Behavior

Types of Rules

Types of Punishments

Common Phrases

Danger Level

The danger level of Obsessives means the danger toward their Beloved and will range from Minor, Moderate, Considerable, and High. No Obsessive will come with a “no danger” label as at the root of obsession there is always a chance for danger to present itself. It’s only a question of how much and what each Obsessive’s trigger is. The danger level also does not mean if an Obsessive category is ranked “Minor” that a particular Obsessive may not be extremely dangerous.

I.E. - Protective Obsessives are ranked as “Minor” in terms of danger, but a Protective Obsessive within that category may be extremely dangerous. The classification itself is ranked lower as they are generally only dangerous to the outside world and not their Beloved, but that may vary depending on the particular Obsessive.

Danger levels are always reflective of the Obsessive’s danger toward their Beloved; any Obsessive should be considered dangerous to anyone who threatens their Beloved or their perceived happiness with their Beloved.

Period.

Manipulatives

Manipulation is defined as “the act of manipulating someone in a skillful manner,” or “the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way.” - It’s important to remember this when you’re taking a look at a Manipulative Obsessive. This is the foundation, the basis for what type of Obsessive they are

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Manipulative would be Lonely and Clingy

These two traits tend to exacerbate their behavior and they can also trigger their obsessive tendencies; for example, if their Beloved pays them the slightest hint of attention or affection, as it is a “fix” for their loneliness or calls to their clingyness

Manipulatives arguably contain or can contain all the other classifications easily, meaning you’re most likely to notice manipulative tendencies no matter what classification you’re looking at

They may also have a higher success rate of actually landing their Beloved, as their methods are somewhat hard to divert or spot

As you may expect, Manipulatives are known for emotionally manipulating their Beloved to gain their desired outcome--which is first and foremost always going to be landing their Beloved for themselves

Things are often posed as a question, to help it seem more reasonable, or to distract from what is actually being asked

I.E. - “Can you please stop going out with your friend so much? It isn’t safe and I’m worried about you, sweetheart. They can’t protect you like I can.”

Some Manipulatives may not know they are actually manipulating; if they’re also Delusional, for example, they will simply believe what they’re doing is for the best, no matter how it’s achieved

Others will know what they’re doing and won’t care, because in the end it’s about their Beloved and no matter what, as long as they’re safe and with the Obsessive...then it’s meant to be

This type of Obsessive will never see what they’re doing as wrong, whether they’re aware of their manipulation or not

Manipulatives will often ask questions that are not rhetorical, as they desire verbal confirmation of what they’re asking

Actions may speak louder than words but if their Beloved is unwilling, then they’ll take the words even if the actions don’t match

Manipulatives, it should also be noted, will be prone to doing things like bribery for affection

I.E. - They’ll take your phone or your laptop, or they’ll take a favorite stuffed animal, and they’ll give it back if you give them a kiss, or they’ll let you go outside if you tell them you love them

These Obsessives will put themselves in the Victim role, but not in the traditional way; meaning, if you refuse what they ask, they’re hurt by your rejection and they’re confused by it, as they’re only trying to help, to do what’s best for you

I.E. - “Why are you upset? I was trying to help you, honey.”

I.E. - “Can’t you see I’m doing this for us?”

They are not above using guilt to get what they want, be it affection or really anything from their Beloved

Manipulatives, it should be noted, never set out to genuinely make their Beloved feel bad or to actually make them sad or upset--that would devastate them, to be honest, as they feel what they’re doing is to make their Beloved happy

They are just desperate to make their Beloved happy and feel they know the best way to do so

In terms of rules, Manipulatives will most likely be known for enforcing rules that limit who their Beloved talks to and interacts with, where they go and with who, and if a Manipulative has a particular trigger (such as separation anxiety) that will most assuredly come with a rule

As far as punishments go, Manipulatives run the gammot of whether or not they’ll be strict or lenient, and it honestly varies depending on the particular Manipulative

Beloveds of Sadistic Manipulatives should be careful, as that will take the emotional manipulation up to a 10, alongside physical punishments like spanking or being gagged or restrained

Beloveds of Masochistic Manipulatives, alternatively, will have to deal with a Manipulative who mopes, pouts, or constantly seeks reassurance that they were doing the right thing--which may seem punishment enough for a Beloved who has to give of themself to make the Obsessive feel better

Common phrases of Manipulative Obsessives include:

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

“I’ll die without you. I mean it, I will.”

“Tell me what to do to make you love me?”

“You know you’re mine, don’t you?”

“It hurts me when you pull away from me like that, baby.”

“Is it really so hard to love me back?”

“If you give me a kiss, I’ll give you your phone back.”

“Can’t you say ‘I love you’? Just once? Please?”

Danger Level: Moderate

Possessive

Possessive is defined as “demanding someone's total attention and love.” - That’s the easiest way to learn what makes a Possessive Obsessive

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Possessive would be Insecure and Distrustful

Possessives are often just distrusting of the environment around their Beloved but it is worth noting if a Possessive is also a Manipulative, they may pose questions to try and get their Beloved to cut ties with someone they’re threatened by

I.E. - “You say you don’t love them more than me...but you hang out with them so much. Prove you love me more and delete them from your phone.”

Most Possessives will never outright accuse their Beloved of cheating, and if they do, they don’t mean it--it’s a tactic to get their Beloved to do what they want by guilt-tripping them

Possessives and Protectives are extremely similar Obsessives; they share a lot of the same traits--the difference really comes from how those traits manifest themselves, and that distinction is also what makes Possessives and Controlling Obsessives extremely similar

Possessives will be the most prone, alongside the Protectives, to insist upon living together with their Beloved as soon as they can convince them to do so--but make no mistake, they want it immediately

This comes from wanting to be able to control who is around their Beloved, and ensuring the Possessive gets the majority of their time

A Possessive will not be happy living separately from their Beloved, period

Possessives are also the most prone to stalking their Beloved, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship-- that’s very likely how the relationship began

The Beloved will likely not know how long the Possessive has been stalking them, unless the Possessive admits it--and if the Possessive also has Manipulative tendencies that itself may be a little white lie, depending on what the Possessive is trying to get out of their Beloved

Possessives are incredibly controlling, especially when it comes to the relationships their Beloved is allowed to have

If a Possessive is also Manipulative on top of Controlling, they may be exceptionally gifted at subverting their Beloved’s time and attention from other people in their Beloved’s life

If they aren’t Manipulative, they will simple demand attention--and expect to get it

“If I can’t have you, no one can.”

It’s not just a cutesy saying, it’s the truth; Possessives have jealousy issues and the more extreme they are, or if they’re pushed or can’t openly claim their Beloved, the more dangerous they’re going to be about it

Rules of Possessives are exactly what you would expect; they control who their Beloved talks to, for how long, where they go, and it’s extremely likely a Possessive will insist their Beloved does not go anywhere without them--and they’re likely not going to be allowed to go out with anyone without the Possessive present

Rules may vary from Possessive to Possessive, but you can pretty much be guaranteed it will always include controlling time and attention so that they get the majority of it. That’s always going to be the end goal

No matter how much attention they get, it is never going to be enough

Punishments from Possessives will likely always include some form of Marking; bruising, biting, cutting, burning, branding--you name it, if it leaves a mark, they’re going to be fine with it

The more Sadistic a Possessive, the deeper and more permanent these markings will be, and a true Sadistic Possessive will scar their Beloved to ensure their claim is respected

If a Possessive leans more toward the Protective side, their marks may not scar but they will be prominently displayed and there won’t be any covering them up--and you will not be out of their sight anytime soon

Common Phrases of Possessive Obsessives include:

“I love you.” (This is said often, multiple times a day, vocally or via text, whether their Beloved responds or reciprocates the feelings or not)

“You don’t get to leave me.”

“Stop talking to them so much.”

“Pay attention to me.”

“Where are you going? I’m coming with you or you’re not going.”

“If you don’t want them to die, you’ll stop talking to them.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Tell me you love me more than them.”

“Don’t you dare think of leaving me. I love you.”

“You belong to me.”

“I feel so afraid when I see you with others. I won’t let them take you away from me.”

“If you don’t stop covering my marks, I’m going to start scarring you.”

“You think I’m jealous right now? Keep talking to them and see how much more jealous I can get.”

Danger Level: Considerable

Controlling

Controlling is defined as, “inclined to control others' behavior.” - That’s about as cut and dry as you can get when it comes to describing Controlling Obsessives

The two adjectives that most describe Controlling Obsessives are Domineering and Protective

Controlling and Possessive Obsessives are very similar and share a lot of the same traits, and while the same could be said of Controlling and Protectives, they way they go about things differ and that distinction is what’s important

Controlling Obsessives may best be descried as a mixture of Possessive and Protective, with the addition that they will go to extremes to secure their Beloved’s safety and attention

Controlling Obsessives also monopolize their Beloved’s time and who they spend it with, and this is both because of possessive tendencies and because they believe they know what’s best for their Beloved--even more than their Beloved would

Controlling Obsessives will isolate their Beloved from others if they feel threatened, and unlike some other Obsessives they won’t feel remorse for doing it, even if their Beloved gets upset or angry over it

They know what’s best--period

They will also use threats if they need to, to get a point across or to get the end result they want--but it’s never threats against their Beloved and they don’t see it as doing anything wrong

Controlling Obsessives tell. They don’t ask.

They will require constant access to their Beloved’s possessions and that does mean their phone, computer, social media; all to monitor who is in their Beloved’s life and what is being said to their Beloved

If they do not like someone or the way someone speaks to their Beloved, not only will they insist their Beloved cease contact but they’ll handle it themselves...and depending on the Obsessive, that may or may not involve loss of life

They are extremely jealous, of anyone and everyone, regardless of the reality of the relationship with their Beloved and at times it will bleed into paranoia and they will become fearful of losing their Beloved

When this happens, their threats will increase, and their Beloved will notice a ramp up in their overall Controlling behavior; they’ll lose access to other people and will have to spend all their time with their Obsessive until the feelings pass or are appeased

Controlling Obsessives set the same type of rules you would expect from a Possessive or Protective; limits on who their Beloved interacts with, where they go and with who, and there is a strict restriction on freedom.

It’s a pretty big deal if the Controlling Obsessive lets their Beloved do anything alone and I’d caution the Beloved against getting used to it

Broken rules will result in the same sort of punishments as Possessives or Protectives; marking, bondage/restriction, the loss of privileges like a phone or access to social media, etc.

It’s important to circle back to that Controlling Obsessives are not in this to hurt their Beloved; they simply know best and won’t listen to their Beloved or be swayed

Common Phrases of Controlling Obsessives include:

“Until you learn who really loves you, you’re staying here.”

“Better get used to giving me your phone when I ask for it, sweetheart.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“You aren’t wearing that out of the house unless I’m going with you.”

“I need you and you need me. Say it.”

“Do as I say or next time this’ll be worse.”

“Behave yourself.”

“I’m doing this for us.”

“What have I told you about talking to them? You’ll only have yourself to blame if something happens to them.”

“No, I’m not giving you your laptop back. If you want it, come sit on my lap and use it. Or be without it.”

“I don’t like it when you say things like that. Take it back.”

Danger Level: Moderate

Delusional

Delusional is defined as “a persistent, false psychotic belief regarding persons outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.“ - Are you noticing a pattern here? This is the perfect way to get your foot in the door with understanding a Delusional Obsessive

The two defining adjectives of a Delusional Obsessive would be Affectionate and Devoted

The first thing to understand about Delusionals is that they range a little on what they may believe. I maintain there are two types of Delusionals:

I.E. - Type A Delusionals believe they and their Beloved are soulmates but does not perpetuate the belief they are already in a relationship

I.E.- Type B Delusionals believe, no matter the evidence to the contrary (refer back to the definition) that their Beloved already loves them and is in a relationship with them

Because both Type A and Type B Delusionals have a “blind spot” when it comes to their Beloved, they may exhibit different levels of delusion, such as not understanding they fabricated an entire relationship, or they may exaggerate normal gestures as grand gestures of love

I.E. - A Type A Delusional may be aware they’re not currently in a relationship with their Beloved, but their Beloved smiled at them today and wished them a nice day, so that confirmed they’re soulmates and they’re destined to be together

To an outsider, the minor act of, “Hope you have a nice day!” is simply a polite gesture, but to the Delusional it’s far, far more than that.

Any show of kindness or affection is going to be off the scales important and just confirms what they already know to be true

Alternatively, a Type B Delusional will not understand they made up an entire relationship. It does not matter what evidence they’re given to the contrary, you could sit them down and explain it to them repeatedly and it will not penetrate that blind spot

Same as the sky is blue and the ocean is wet, their Beloved loves them and is in a relationship with them

It’s also important to note that Delusionals will not exhibit their delusional behavior in any other aspect of their life with the exception of their Beloved--who is essentially their trigger

Delusionals are both equally rare (Type B’s are exceedingly rare) and common (Type A’s are fairly commonplace) as a person may not know they’re Delusional until they encounter their Beloved, their trigger

Delusionals won’t understand or even register their Beloved’s lack of affection or their rejection

It isn’t that they don’t understand the word “No,’ it’s that their Beloved is just nervous!

No matter what evidence the Delusional is presented with it will not change their mind

A Type B Delusional, who already perceives themselves in a relationship with their Beloved will perceive any negative emotion or behavior from their Beloved as “nerves” or “shyness”

I.E. - You don’t want to kiss because you’re shy!

I.E. - You don’t want to move in together yet because you’re just a little scared!

This won’t deter them, however; they’ll either unknowingly manipulate to get what they want or will continually, patiently wear their Beloved down

A Type A Delusional, who believes their Beloved is their soulmate but hasn’t fabricated a relationship will be much the same way--patient, but unyielding

Any negative emotion or rejection will still be perceived as “nerves”, as finding a soulmate can be a scary experience!

Don’t worry, they’ll be there for you while you adjust to the idea of being together forever

Out of all the Obsessive types, Delusionals will have the most common rules that seem to encompass all Obsessives; they want your love and attention, and they won’t take kindly to anyone else trying to intrude

They won’t knowingly set these rules or behaviors, as Delusionals don’t see themselves as anything other than in the right, behaving as they should with their soulmate, but you’ll know if you cross a line

Punishments will depend heavily on the type of Delusional; if they’re heavy-handed they may be physical, including restraints or marking, but if they’re more into verbal punishments you may find yourself being guilted into giving up time with others to give your Obsessive what they need to feel better

Common Phrases of Delusional Obsessives include:

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“Don’t be shy, sweetheart! We love each other.”

“Why are you upset? You’re supposed to give your lover gifts.”

“Why aren’t you smiling? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Why do you always lock your bedroom door? You can’t keep me out, silly girl/boy.”

“Where are you going? Can I come? Let me come with you.”

“It doesn’t matter where you go, what you do. I’ll always be able to find you. I will always find you.”

“We’re meant to be together, baby.”

“I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.”

Danger Level: Considerable

One final note: Unlike the rest of the Obsessives, it’s important to note Delusionals pose an almost equal level threat between their Beloved and outsiders, as this is a psychotic condition that skews right from wrong. They never set out to actually hurt their Beloved, but the danger is present in that they may not understand the difference between right and wrong

Aggressive

Aggression is defined as “a forceful action or procedure (such as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master.” - It’s really important you pay close attention to these Obsessives...because they mean business

The two adjectives I use to describe Aggressives are Forceful and Demanding

Out of all the Obsessives, Aggressives could be argued to be the most dangerous overall as they are without a doubt the most bold

Everything regarding their Beloved amps them up to a 10 immediately, be it jealousy or the need to “protect” their Beloved from...everything

These Obsessives will say or do whatever they feel is best and while this may cause problems with their Beloved...it’ll be okay because they know best

Like Sadistic Obsessives, these Obsessives are heavy-handed and will not hesitate to strong-arm their way into their Beloved’s life, or strong-arm people out of it

As far as Aggressives are concerned, nothing is off-limits; they deserve to have access to their Beloved and they can and will do whatever they need to do to get it

If an Aggressive is stalking their Beloved, their Beloved will be aware it’s happening, because the Aggressive will be blatant about it

I.E. - Coming home to find notes in their home left by the Aggressive, or even finding the Aggressive still in their home

Anything that’s done will never actually be against their Beloved, of course...but any outsider straying too close to their Beloved better be damn careful

Aggressives will absolutely attack or kill (depending on the Aggressive) anyone who threatens their Beloved and/or their relationship with their Beloved

Despite their forceful nature, Aggressives really do love their Beloved and will treat them lovingly; even punishments that may result in the Aggressive turning on their Beloved will be done with love, as they believe they’re doing it for their Beloved

The only exception to this is that unlike Delusionals, if their Beloved continues to refuse them, fight them, or provoke their jealousy, Aggressives will make good on, “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

Aggressives also have the least control out of all Obsessives and their Beloved definitely needs to be careful and keep that in the back of their mind

When Aggressives say, “Forever,” ...they mean it

Rules will vary depending on the Aggressive, but considering every emotion they have with their Beloved is amped up so high, anything to do with jealousy or outsiders is going to be a no-no in their rulebook

Their Beloved can expect to watch their step and should expect controlling behavior, especially if the Aggressive feels threatened or is feeling particularly needy that day

Punishments are exactly what you’d expect from this type of Obsessive; they’re almost always physical and almost always of the bruising/scarring variety

Beloveds should not expect apologies, either, because this Obsessive loves you and is only doing this to prove it to you; if you’d behaved, this wouldn’t be happening, would it?

Common Phrases of Aggressive Obsessives include:

“If you’d stop making so much noise, I’ll stop being so rough. It’s just, you sound so fucking pretty when you cry, so I can’t...really help myself.”

“You belong to me. Test me or make me prove it and I’ll carve it into your perfect fucking skin.”

“Do not tell me no.”

“I’ll let you out when you tell me you love me.”

“You think you’ve seen me jealous? Oh, baby, you haven’t seen jealous. Not yet, anyway.”

“If you try to run away from me again I’m going to break your fucking legs, baby.”

“What did I tell you about talking to other people?”

“If you keep refusing to speak to me, I’m going to make it so you’ll never speak again.”

“If you look at them again, I’ll kill them and make you watch.”

“No, I won’t let go. Not until you say, ‘I love you,’ back.”

“If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Danger Level: High

Sadistic

Sadistic is defined as “taking pleasure in the infliction of pain, punishment, or humiliation on others.” - These Obsessives almost speak for themselves, really

The two defining adjectives for Sadistics shouldn’t surprise anyone; they’re Cruel and Selfish

Sadistic Obsessives, like Aggressives, toe a line when it comes to their Beloved and the extremes they’ll go for them--and like Aggressives they will cross it and they’ll enjoy it

Unlike some Obsessives, who may not enjoy when their Beloved shrinks back or seems uncomfortable, Sadistics bask in anything they can get

Negative reinforcement is still reinforcement as far as they’re concerned, because it means they’re getting to their Beloved and in the end, that’s all an Obsessive wants--attention

They will not listen to objections, the words, “No,” or “Stop,” and pleading will only excite them further

They also won’t necessarily see these negative actions as “harmful” to their Beloved, as their Beloved is theirs to do with as they please, to love as they please and this is how they love

Sadistics will likely have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives, as they enjoy inflicting pain and seeing their Beloved suffer for rule-breaking

These Obsessives live for tears and begging, and they are extremely adept at getting what they want

Beloveds of Sadistic, Manipulative Obsessives should buckle up, as they’re in for a real rough time of it

Sadistics are the most prone to force--they will rape their Beloved, either for the enjoyment of humiliating their Beloved or because their Beloved keeps denying them

Denying a Sadistic only feeds their desire, like fanning flames. If you’re not careful, you’ll build them into a frenzy you’ll have trouble walking away from

It’s important to note that Sadistics’s interest won’t wane once they have their Beloved broken in

Expect the opposite; now they fully own their “toy” and can break them as much as they want and it’s akin to falling in love all over again

Sadistics are known for offering hope only to take it away, or with-holding things until their Beloved is reliant upon them for it, like food or personal belongings

Sadistics may enjoy either physical or emotional pain--or both

These Obsessives are no less loving than others, however, and are most prone to marking or branding their Beloved to prove this love and devotion

Their love is claiming and it definitely means forever

The more broken in a Beloved, the more scarred or submissive, the more in love the Sadistic, so fortunately or unfortunately for the Beloved, the more time spent with the Sadistic just means the more in love they’ll fall

Sadistics will set the same standard sort of rules for most Obsessives (controlling who their Beloved speaks to, where they go, who they’re with, etc), but be aware--they may set ridiculous rules or will not tell their Beloved all their rules in the hopes that their Beloved will step out of line and they’ll be able to punish them

Sadistics live for punishments

And as mentioned above, Sadistics are going to have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives; they are going to come down hard and with intent to bruise, to mark, to scar, to rip and tear and they’re biting to break skin every single time

As Sadistics are not afraid to force, they are fine to prove their devotion to their Beloved through violent, painful means, and this can also include forced orgasm/milking, claiming their Beloved publicly or in front of someone the Sadistic is jealous of, or marking their Beloved in a way they cannot hope to hide

Common phrases of Sadistic Obsessives include:

“I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you’d only behave.”

“If you ever stop loving me, I’ll kill you who you love instead...and still take you back.”

“Stay still. I want your make-up perfect before I ruin it.”

“Beg. Beg me to stop.”

“This is why I punish you, baby. You have to learn.”

“What did I say about covering my marks? Do I need to make them permanent?”

“You’re just so fucking beautiful when you cry.”

“One day I’m going to kill you, sweetheart. For no other reason than you’re mine.”

“Call them. I’m going to fuck you while you’re on the phone with them so they know you’re mine.”

“You like when I hurt you, don’t you? Yes you do, I can feel how wet/hard you are.”

“M-I-N-E. Look, baby, carved right into your tummy. Now you’ll never forget.”

Danger Level: High

Masochistic

Masochistic is defined as “deriving sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.” - Like Sadistics, these Obsessives mildly speak for themselves

The two defining adjectives of Masochistics are Desperate and Needy

This, straight away, paints a pretty clear picture of the type of Obsessive a Masochistic is; they are desperate for any sort of attention they can get from their Beloved...and I do mean any attention

Masochistic Obsessives are exactly what one might be expecting; they are the polar opposite of Sadistic Obsessives, and share very similar traits with Manipulatives

In keeping with being the opposite of Sadistics, Masochistics derive pleasure from their Beloved rejecting them or treating them poorly

Some Masochistics really get off on being humiliated by their Beloved--

I.E. - “Why would I ever be with someone like you?”

This may have to do with the Obsessive’s poor self-esteem, or it may simply be a sexual interest of theirs; this will depend on the individual Masochistic--but it’s always, always enjoyed

Others enjoy repeated rejections of any sort, almost taking them as acceptances because their Beloved is making them feel good

How could it not be a match made in heaven when their Beloved knows exactly how to treat them?

One parallel that Masochistics do share with Sadistics is that they’re completely fine with making their Beloved uncomfortable

Not only do they not mind if their Beloved is uncomfortable, but they’ll push their limit if they feel it will earn them either affection...or worse

Negative reinforcement may as well be positive for these Obsessives; their Beloved’s really will have a tough time because whether they’re sweet or mean, the Masochistic will enjoy it

Masochistics openly enjoy mistreatment of any sort; this includes physical or otherwise

Yes, that does mean striking these Obsessives or fighting them excites them further

There really is no wrong way to love these Obsessives...and no real way to reject them either

Like Sadistics, once their Beloved is theirs, the Masochistic Obsessive will simply evolve into a healthy S&M relationship with their Beloved

Masochistics will only grow more enamored when their Beloved gives in, as it feeds into their desperate and needy personalities, and really the end goal for them has always been their Beloved’s love and affection

Rules for Masochistics will be the same as you would expect for other Obsessives; Masochistics may be into pain of all sorts but they’re not going to tolerate someone else moving in on their Beloved, so you’ll still need to mind your P’s and Q’s around them

Depending on what other traits a Masochistic displays, they may be extra strict and controlling, and if they’re possessive they won’t hesitate to give you marks to match the ones they’ve given themselves in your honor

Punishments from Masochistics will be unique; if they have Sadistic or Controlling tendencies their Beloved should expect that to come out to play, but if they’re solely Masochistic, their Beloved will have to deal with an Obsessive who will harm themselves to prove a point

Self-harm and self-mutilation are done both as punishments to get their Beloved to behave, and also done as a reward for the Masochistic...sadly for their Beloved, it’s a win-win for the Obsessive

Common phrases of Masochistic Obsessives include:

“If you’re mad at me...If it will make you smile, you can hit me.”

“I love you so much it hurts.”

“It’s okay if you hate me. I still love you.”

“I like when you bite me when we kiss, sweetheart.”

“I carved your name into my arm. See how much I love you? Now I’m yours forever and the whole world will know it!”

“I’ll tell you I love you until my throat bleeds.”

“You can be mad at me, it’s okay, but I have to kiss you.”

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“I like when you tell me you hate me.”

“Fight me all you want. It feels good when you do.”

“No one will ever love you like I love you. I can prove it.”

Danger Level: Minor

Protective

Protective is defined as, “to cover or shield from injury, damage, or destruction.” - As with the other definitions, this is the best place to start when classifying Protectives

The two defining adjectives for Protectives are Caring and Possessive

The last of the Obsessives in the classification list may be the most common of them all--right alongside Possessives, whom they share great deal of traits with

However, unlike almost all the other Obsessive types, Protectives have clear lines they will never cross when it comes to their Beloved

Protectives’ entire stance as Obsessives comes from an overwhelming need to keep their Beloved safe, and while they will never endanger their Beloved as a result of that...they will exert control if they need to

As with Manipulatives, Protectives show many of the same common traits with the other Obsessive types, with the sole exception that they won’t go to extremes with anything to do with their Beloved’s health

First and foremost, their Beloved’s health and safety rank above everything else--and that does include their happiness, as Protectives are under the belief that they can’t be happy if they aren’t healthy and safe

With that being said, this also makes Protectives prone to kidnapping and confining their Beloved to a single room or the Obsessive’s home for their Beloved’s own “safety”

Some Protectives will ask their Beloved to move in with them and will only resort to kidnapping if their Beloved refuses the offer, but others will simply act on what they know is best, if they can’t get their Beloved to agree to move in immediately

Like Possessives, Protectives will not be happy, nor will they be able to function properly if they are living separately from their Beloved

They will obsessively stalk their Beloved, spending hours and hours of their day watching over them to ensure their safety, and will monitor their social media--this includes cloning their Beloved’s phone or stealing their laptop to maintain a constant, present vigil in their lives

Like most other Obsessives, Protectives do not see what they’re doing as wrong, no matter what evidence is given to them in the contrary

You are so small and weak, so fragile, you’re not safe in the world without them!

They love their Beloved and the world is a dangerous, scary place; they are terrified at the thought of something happening to you to the point it will give them nightmares

That’s why they need you close, so they can be reassured nothing will happen to you and you’ll be theirs forever

This fear can make the Protective extremely controlling and coupled with their possessive tendencies this can lead to a massive reduction in personal space and freedom

While it is true, Protectives will never hurt their Beloved...they will absolutely hurt or even kill others for their Beloved

The single, smallest slight against their Beloved will amp them up to a 100 real quick, and depending on the Protective, will result in anything ranging from the offender’s life being ruined publicly, financially, or simply snuffed out

Beloveds of Protectives will have to be extremely careful with their words, because something that may not have bothered them at all may sound like the end of the world to their Protective, and the following day the Beloved’s life may be down one person

Out of all the Obsessives, with the exception of Controlling Obsessives, Protectives are going to have the most rules, but they’ll be expressly clear about them

These rules will range from not leaving the house without them, a time limit where their Beloved must answer their text messages, who they’re allowed to text in the first place, requiring their phone location being turned on 24/7, being extremely strict with meal times and ensuring their Beloved is eating enough...etc.

Punishments from Protectives will be no less severe simply because of the Protective’s stance on never harming their Beloved--if their Beloved isn’t adhering to the rules being set, then they’re putting their own life at risk

Protectives won’t accept that, not even from their Beloved

Punishments will typically be non-physical, but a corrective spanking or a bondage restriction may come into play depending on what rules were broken

Punishments will usually be verbal corrections and the Protective will expect an apology, as they’re doing what they’re doing for their Beloved and they’re doing it out of love

Common phrases of Protective Obsessives include:

“I really don’t wanna hurt you, baby, so please don’t struggle.”

“I know you thought they were your friend but...I didn’t trust them. They had to go, I couldn’t let them hurt you, could I?”

“I’ll lock you up and throw away the goddamn key if you ever do something that dangerous ever again.”

“You will do what I say. It’s for your own good.”

“You know better than to leave the house without me, honey.”

“Be good for me, baby. I don’t want to have to see your tears again.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.”

“If they hurt you, they’re dead. You hear me, baby? Dead.”

“I just want us to be happy together. I can’t let anyone get in the way of that. You understand, don’t you?”

‘‘No, you can’t go back, baby. This is your home now. You’re safe here. You’ll see.”

“I’m doing this because I love you. You know that, don’t you? I love you so much.”

Danger Level: Minor

Conclusion

Could a post like this really have an end? Maybe conclusion isn’t the right word, because now that this door is open...there’s a whole world of possibilities waiting for me on the other side.

And I’m honestly so excited about that. This research was so much fun to do, and as I mentioned, my whole purpose for doing this was to be able to take anyone in FL and apply this to them, because it’s something I enjoy and believe should be enjoyed.

So where to go from here? Well, I already have a couple ideas; one, is to go through and list some examples in a follow-up post, listing different Family members that could suit each of these classifications, to provide further example of not only the application of this post, but that my model for these being able to suit anyone actually working.

I also opened the floor for Monica to add onto this as she saw fit, and that includes being able to send me names and requests, love--like you want to see Peter Parker as a Manipulative Obsessive. So if you have any requests or questions, love, you feel free to interact with this post as much as you want. I really want this to be the start of something, not the end of something, and I’m always happy to share everything with you! ♥

Keep an eye out for this to start making a more prominent appearance in my writing, too. Which, honestly, probably deserves the devil emoji because I have asked Bunny lots of questions about what she’s okay with and what she likes...so yeah.

Consider this door open and Mama’s about to start unleashing some demons.

#{theme} : writing research #{theme} : writing references

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x-rds · 2 years

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[Lio] I be having autism brain. Only realized now that Japan/living in Japan is probably a SpIn seeing as I have not shut the fuck up about it to anyone for the last 3 years at least. On one hand this makes me feel a little bit like a weeb but on the other I know almost nothing about anime and is it fair to call yourself a weeb just because you like talking about the enjoyable experience you had living for a year in another country?

Also regardless of if this is weeb behavior it’s paying off because we just got a job in Japan and are moving back there this summer so I don’t care if I’m seen as a weeb because my interest in it has improved my language skills and prepared me to live there again, both the potential good and bad.

Like, I’m aware of the healthcare situation there (generally good) the mental healthcare situation there (less good, but I’m hiring my American therapist for at least monthly sessions bc even uninsured in America her sessions are 80 bucks which is an expense I’m willing to take out of my paycheck occasionally so that our mental health stays as stable as possible). I’m aware of how shit trying to open a bank account or get an apartment is BUT also aware that it’s possible and how other people have done it. I’m aware of common crime especially against foreigners and how to minimize the chances of engaging with it. I’m aware that some common household objects need cleaning that isn’t the same as in the US (like you can’t fuck around with ignoring caring for your tatami, that shit will get moldy and it’s mad expensive to get replaced).

So I think maybe I just feel intimidated by the prevalence of people who claim to love Japan and want to live there but don’t know shit about it and expect it to be flawless or for everyone to love them just because they’re a foreigner. And honestly part of what I love discussing about my year studying in Japan is the hardships and how they were handled, especially because we were in a very rare situation where half of the year we were there everything was shut down by the appearance of covid. The only time we had to do schooling via Zoom was in Japan and I discovered very quickly that while I am an introvert and often prefer to chill in my own space, I hate and do terribly with online classes.

It’s - like. It’s frustrating. Because I know many people online see someone talking about Japan and assume the worst, and I can’t even say that it’s entirely baseless. There are a lot of starstruck people online who think it’s The Animes over there or think it’s all people wearing kimono and doing everything as An Ancient Art, both of which are mired in fetishism/racism (even if just out of naïveté), so trepidation when someone expresses their interest is understandable.

But like, it’s a country. It’s a place, and it contains a myriad variety of people and opinions and experiences, both positive and negative. And it’s not unusual for people who spend a year living somewhere outside of where they grew up to feel connected to it, especially if their experiences were positive. We know friends who talk endlessly about their time doing art college for a few years in Germany or England; they admire the positive experiences they had and it affected them on a personal level, and they admire it all the better for the negative experiences they were able to overcome.

It’s an incredible thing, having that experience, one which we are extremely lucky to have been able to experience because we do not come from any remote level of wealth. And we’re lucky we’re about to go back, we got a position in a very competitive job program. And we almost didn’t! We were on the callback list until yesterday.

Anyways, I’m just - always kind of nervous to think about how autism affects us. I’m not used to feeling proud of it or accepting it really, and sometimes I worry that we might not REALLY be autistic. And I still sometimes feel shame ingrained in us, placed by other people, about what our interests are. Fuck being judged by others for what we care about, though. Especially in this case: our interest is paying off, literally, getting us a job and preparing us for it.

That’s it, that’s my rambling about our brain for today

#liolog #vent but only kinda

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raendown · 6 years

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Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 5000 Summary: Upon discovering a hidden habit Tobirama uses to relieve the stress of his very busy life, Madara's first instinct is to keep poking the beast. Things don't turn out well - until suddenly they do.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

After The Smoke Clears

Madara would insist even years later that he’d known something was going to happen that day. When Tobirama stepped out of his office in the tower for ‘just a quick moment’ and then never returned, he had the feeling that something was up. Of course, he never in a hundred years could have guessed what it was.

Despite his suspicions he mostly figured that Hashirama would be the one who had to deal with whatever was going on so he didn’t think twice about accepting the invitation to eat dinner at his friend’s house that night. Not just for the entertainment value but also for the promise of good food. Mito and he had never exactly seen eye to eye but he would freely admit that her cooking was some of the best in Fire Country. If tonight was one of the rare nights she felt like cooking instead of her husband then Madara wasn’t going to turn down an invitation to partake in whatever marvel she whipped up this time.

The moment they arrived, however, dinner plans were put on a temporary hold. Hashirama stopped dead as soon as he spotted the back of a fluffy white head just peeping up over the edge of the couch, small rustling and crunching noises coming from that direction. Madara raised one eyebrow in question when his friend assumed a look of exasperated resignation, dragging one hand down his face before turning away to call loudly through the house.

“Mito! I thought we hid all the snacks?” He was met at the end of the hall by his wife, hands on her hips.

“I’d like to see you find a place we can hide them that he couldn’t sniff them out,” she snapped back.

Madara ignored them, creeping forward to peer over the couch and see what all the fuss was about. As he came in to sight, Tobirama looked up at him and it was immediately evident what they were all upset over. Despite the evidence before his eyes, however, Madara could hardly believe was he was seeing.

This close to the younger man he was able to pick up the heavy scent of some sort of herb off of him. The sclera of both eyes were as red as the irises, lids drooping down to half-mast and crinkled at the corners. His mouth was stretched in a wide lazy smile, teeth bared in the least threatening manner Madara had ever seen from him. As he caught sight of someone above him Tobirama retracted one hand from where it had been buried in a container of cookies to give a vague wave.

“Heyyyyy Mads,” he slurred, ending with a muffled giggle. Madara stared for a moment before standing straight again and calling down the hallway to his friend.

“Hashirama your brother is broken.”

“Don’t worry about him, he’s fine. This happens sometimes. I just…I thought I hid the snacks this time.”

“This happens sometimes?” Madara parroted, stunned.

Turning back to take another peek at the man slouched on the sofa, he watched Tobirama reach for the cookies again and nibble on one. His head was titled back to stare aimlessly at the ceiling and it didn’t really look like he had a lot of important things running through his mind – or much of anything, really. Clearly he was under the influence of something. Madara had never been the type to indulge in herbs or powders or any kind, more than aware of how addictive some of them could be. A clan Head could hardly afford to lose his mind to that kind of addiction.

Eventually Tobirama’s bloodshot eyes rolled to the side and locked on to his again. The hand that had been digging for a fresh cookie held its prize up above his head, weaving it through the air under Madara’s nose.

“You want one?” When he received no immediate answer he wriggled the treat enticingly. “Hey, hey Mads. Mads. You want – you want a cookie? You want a cookie? You–”

“Fine! Shut up!” Madara snatched the cookie and stalked away. Hashirama was still bickering with his spouse when he reached them and shoved his best friend’s shoulder none too gently. “He keeps calling me Mads. Explain.”

“Well he’s not exactly going to act like himself, Madara. He’s high.”

“You say that as if I’m just supposed to pass right over the fact that your tight-assed little brother is high without batting a fucking eyelash. Explain further, ass wipe.” Thankfully, his death glare was as effective as it ever was in making Hashirama sweat. His friend gulped and held up both hands in surrender.

“Brother just needs to relax sometimes, you know?” Hashirama frowned. “His mind is always running so fast and he can’t really turn it off. Sometimes he just needs to switch off for a while and take a break but he can’t do that on his own so he found this plant. He grows it in his lab and I think he inhales the smoke or something. I dunno, we never see him actually ingest it. He just shows up and starts eating me out of house and home, sits on the couch, maybe chats to someone if they’re there.”

Madara turned that over in his head and gave himself a moment to process, absently munching on the cookie he still held. Everyone in the village with working eyes could see how stressed Tobirama was on a daily basis. He’d already had his fair share of duties within his own clan; when the village had been created he’d more than doubled his own workload. That he needed a break was a common opinion.

This kind of ‘break’ was just a little unexpected.

“How often?” Madara asked eventually. Instead of Hashirama, Mito was the one who answered as she stepped out of the kitchen again, wiping her hands on a towel.

“More often, lately, as the work piles up. He used to put it off until he was nearing insomnia from all the stress, perhaps once every five or six months. Now he’s lucky if he makes it five weeks.” Handing the towel off to her husband, Mito raised her voice and called down the hall. “Dinner!”

From his spot on the couch Tobirama made a noise of interest. It still took him a moment to gain his feet though. Each movement looked as though he were under water, slow and appearing to take more effort than usual. Just walking to the kitchen seemed to take all of his concentration and Madara shook his head as the younger man trotted by him. It was sort of pathetic to watch.

Since Hashirama’s kitchen table only had four seats Madara was forced to sit next to the impaired Senju. The scent of the herbs he had used was terrible, putting Madara off his dinner, but it was almost worth sitting there just to watch how differently he acted. It was like someone had henged in to him and was doing a terrible impression.

Usually fastidious to the point of being fussy, Tobirama had them all rolling their eyes as he ate his entire meal with his fingers, loudly proclaiming over how smooth the noodles were and postulating about whether different types of noodles would have different levels of smoothness. The taste of the fried vegetables made him groan in near ecstasy as though they were the best thing he had ever been served in his life. Any other day he would have spent the entire meal glaring at Madara, probably in the hopes of making him uncomfortable enough to leave. Today he seemed to have forgotten their animosity, leaning in to the older man’s side, drawing him in to pointless speculation over how long a human male could hold their breath and then actually listening when he was told not to try it.

Probably the part where he actually listened was the part that freaked Madara out the most. He’d never seen Tobirama let anyone stop him on his quest to answer a scientific question, no matter how inane other people found it. If he found it interesting he was typically very single-minded about his research. It was actually one his more endearing qualities, although it would take some extreme torture for Madara to admit to that.

Through it all Tobirama smiled and Madara couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of that simple change of expression. It transformed his entire face from dour to approachable just with a slight re-angling on his lips. Or maybe it had something to do with the happy glint in his eyes and the utter relaxation of his body, not a stiff spine in sight.

After dinner Hashirama encouraged his brother back to the couch and herded Madara down next to him. Tobirama dozed off rather quickly, dropping his head on to the shoulder beside him with a peaceful expression. A little uncomfortable, but not willing to disturb him, Madara glared at his friend to make sure he understood the retribution that he was owed. Hashirama looked appropriately worried for sure but he seemed too enamored with the scene before him to be all that scared. Mito, on the other hand, was taking only enjoyment from his situation.

It took ten minutes for him to squirm out from underneath the younger man and neither of his hosts were willing to help him, preferring to observe and giggle shamelessly. Madara left with his head held high and his tattered dignity trailing after him.

Several days passed before he saw Tobirama again, long enough for him to realize even before they crossed paths that the other was avoiding him. When he finally did spot a familiar head of white hair Tobirama had done the only thing that could possibly have still surprised him: he had blushed. It looked sort of like the red markings on his face were spreading out across his skin. Madara only had a moment or two to glimpse the effect before Tobirama spun on his heel and stormed back in to his own office, slamming the door behind himself.

His first instinct was, of course, to keep poking the beast. That had always been the nature of their relationship and he was hardly about to stop now that there was something so interesting at hand. Although this was hardly the first time he had focused his attention on Tobirama to rib him for something or other, it was the first time the younger man had responded with such new and intriguing reactions. He blushed. He left the room before Madara could try and speak to him. On one of the few occasions Madara managed to corner him for a brief moment he actually stuttered before making up some terrible excuse to free himself. It was more entertainment than Madara had ever had out of the man.

What he failed to take in to account while he was shamelessly taking his amusement at the other’s expense was how much he might be increasing Tobirama’s stress level beyond what it already was. It didn’t occur to him until he actually needed to speak to him for something regarding work. Nearly two hours went in to tracking him down, only to find him holed up in the basement of the library that almost no one visited, both hands pulling at his hair. The moment Madara walked in to the room his entire body coiled like an angry cat, ready to bound away at the first sign of trouble.

“There you are,” Madara growled without thinking. The younger man looked back at him with a suspicious gaze and gave no more reply than a grunt. “What in blazes are you doing down in this mausoleum?”

“Avoiding you!”

“I – oh.” He frowned, blinking slowly as he pondered how he should have expected that. “Well I need to talk to you so just sit still for five minutes, would you?”

He hardly expected Tobirama’s left eye to twitch or for the tension within him to suddenly explode.

“No! No you sit still and leave me the hell alone! Just one day, that’s all I’m asking, just go away and leave me in peace for one fucking day! I don’t need this! You’re just always there with your questions and the smirking and it’s driving me insane!” As he ranted, Tobirama seemed unaware of how wide both of his eyes were or how manic he looked with his arms waving around the way they were. “Do you know how much time I’m losing, running around trying to find some quiet without you there poking at me? Do you know how much work I’m getting done? None! I’m so behind I may actually have gone backwards in time and I swear to the shinigami I’m about two seconds away from taking your fucking head off if you don’t leave me the hell alone!”

Madara stood utterly still, unable to move, unable to breathe, entirely unable to do anything but stare with a gaping jaw. If seeing Tobirama under the influence of herbs was shocking, seeing him completely lose his cool like this was something he didn’t even have a word for. The poor man was panting and shaking in the aftermath of his outburst but he was standing more still than Madara had seen him in days, allowing the chance to see him more closely.

The rims of his eyes were as red as the markings on his cheeks, although there was no scent of smoke on him, belying the fact that he was likely getting next to no sleep. His hair was standing up at all sorts of odd angles and the tension in his shoulders was so tight it was a surprise they weren’t right up around his ears. Add in the disheveled clothing and it was like seeing another bad henge. It was hard to decide which one was most unlike him.

“It was just a question about the council meeting next Friday,” Madara was able to choke out eventually. Tobirama swallowed thickly, struggling obviously to draw breath.

“Go ask Hashirama,” he mumbled. “Leave me alone.” As a now-familiar blush slowly crawled its way on to his skin, Madara realized that the red hue of it had been covering up how gray he‘d become, hiding his fatigue each time Madara went to tease him again.

“Just a quick question, on my honor. I couldn’t find the minutes from the last meeting and you were the one who filed them.”

Tobirama shook his head and stepped to the side, inching around the older man towards the doorway. “I’ll have someone get them for you; I need to – I just need to go.”

Over the course of his career as a shinobi Madara had done innumerous despicable things that the gods might never forgive him for – and he was sure that he had never felt as guilty for any of it as he did for what he had done to Tobirama. The man was a wreck, clearly dancing on the edge of a breakdown, and it was all his fault. For some reason there was an extra layer of guilt to taking someone as strictly put together as Tobirama and reducing him to the feral coil of energy he had just watched explode in front of him.

He had to apologize. Just thinking of that concept nearly convinced him to check his own temperature but he knew it was the right thing to do. Although, perhaps it would be best if he gave the other some time to cool off first. If he went seeking Tobirama right now he would only make the younger man feel trapped and attacked again, possibly risking a second explosion before he could even get a word out.

Even though it chaffed like an untended wound, Madara managed to wait for another two hours before deciding that he could take it no longer and left to find where his best friend’s little brother had gone. The first place he looked was of course the Tower, searching the entire building from top to bottom before marching himself over to the Senju compound to knock on the man’s front door. No answer came and Madara marched away again with a frown. Peeking in to every training ground on the way, he made his way to the edge of the village where there had been a small compound set up for medical and scientific research. With Tobirama as one of the researchers explosions were bound to happen on occasion so no one had dared complain when they were built so far away from everything else.

As one of the most prolific – and dangerous – people that worked here, Tobirama’s office was its own small building close to the entrance of the compound. The moment Madara stepped in to it both hands flew up to cover his nose and, even though the man he was looking for wasn’t here, he suddenly knew exactly where to find him. The entire room absolutely reeked of herbs, which meant there was one place he would head for.

Neither Hashirama nor Mito appeared to be home but if they were they would have despaired over the loss of their recently replenished store of snacks. Tobirama sat huddled in to one corner of their couch, a half-eaten plate of rice crackers sitting on the table before him, a drying plum pit right next to it, and an open box of Pocky in his hands. Preoccupied with fishing out another delicious chocolate-covered stick of Pocky, he didn’t seem to realize that he had any company until Madara leaned heavily on the back of the couch and sighed, not bothering to be quiet about it.

“Huh?” He looked up slowly, eyes half-lidded. When he caught sight of Madara he groaned loudly and dropped his head back, whining, “Noooo. I thought you would go away!”

“I came to apologize.” There was little point in beating around the bush and he thought perhaps the other man would relax more if he threw up a white flag right away. As he’d thought, Tobirama seemed to melt back in to the cushions just a little bit more and offered him a tentative smile. Just four little words and he seemed amazingly willing to lay everything behind them.

“Never heard you apologize before,” he murmured. “That’s nice. You want a Pocky?”

“Uh, sure.”

Reaching for the offered treat, the kind he adored but very rarely indulged in, Madara was startled when it was snatched away again just before he could grasp it.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not doing it right!” Tobirama told him with a slow chortle.

“What could I possibly be doing wrong?”

“Haven’t you ever played the Pocky game?” Grinning widely, Tobirama stuck the candy between his teeth and tilted his face up towards Madara, speaking around it. “You’re supposed to take it from me like this!”

Madara reached out with his hand once more, intending to take it from the other’s mouth as asked. Tobirama shook his head and batted the hand away, pointing at Madara’s own mouth instead while waggling his pale eyebrows. It made him flush with embarrassment. Was he really expected to take the treat from Tobirama as though they were transferring a placebic kiss? He didn’t really want it all that badly to risk embarrassing himself as he was likely to do.

One more glance at his companion’s cheerful, hopeful face and he knew he was going to do it anyway. He had come here with the intention to apologize and lower the man’s stress level; Madara didn’t have the heart to deny him anything at the moment after knowing how badly he’d made him feel.

Very mindful of both their personal boundaries, Madara leaned forward over the couch and delicately took just the very tip of the stick between his teeth. A light tug did nothing to free it from Tobirama, who only grinned wider with delight and refused to relinquish his grip. Sighing, Madara leaned a bit closer and shifted his teeth just a little farther down the stick, uncomfortably aware of how close this brought their faces together.

There wasn’t much time for him to react when Tobirama suddenly moved, employing the speed he was famed for even in his current state. Before Madara could properly interpret the light in the younger man’s eye he had shifted, pushing upwards and snapping through the Pocky with his teeth only to press his lips against Madara’s in a lightning fast kiss. Then he had dropped back down in to the corner of the couch with a smugly satisfied expression, munching happily on his half of the candy while Madara was left staring down at him, frozen. His own half of the stick lay still and uneaten within his mouth as he blinked furiously, disoriented.

“Hmmm.” Tobirama hummed in lazy gratification, stretching languorously. “If we could just do that instead of fight all the time my stress levels would go waaaaaay down.”

“EH!?” Regrettably, the chocolate between his teeth fell out on to the couch as he opened his mouth to make a confused exclamation.

“You’re pretty,” the other informed him with an unrepentant smile.

“I – you – what?”

“Do you want another Pocky?”

“No!” Cheeks flushing more than they already had, Madara straightened up and fiddled with his clothing, brushing away imaginary specks of dust while he tried to gather his scattered wits.

“Oh.” Tobirama tilted his head curiously. “Do you want another kiss?”

Madara spluttered, trying to respond but not coming up with any actual words to say. Admittedly, he wasn’t even sure how he wanted to respond to the question. It hadn’t been a bad kiss. He wasn’t exactly opposed to a few nice kisses if they were being offered. But didn’t they hate each other? Since when did Tobirama think of him as pretty and offer kisses in such a casual tone?

Almost as though the other were reading his mind, Tobirama shrugged and reaching out a lazy hand to swat at some of Madara’s hair. “Always thought you were pretty. Wanted to kiss you for a while but you’re just always so grumpy, Mads.”

“Stop calling me ‘Mads’,” was all he could mumble as his brain frantically searched for how he wanted to answer.

“Fine then, Madara.”

A shiver ran through him, immediately and almost reluctantly intrigued by the way Tobirama purred his name. He didn’t realize he had closed his eyes until he felt a light tug and opened them again to see that the younger man had wrapped pale fingers in his hair, gently pulling on them to try and encourage him to bend down.

“What?” he croaked. Tobirama was grinning unrepentantly.

“You didn’t say no. I want to kiss you and you didn’t say no. C’mere.”

“It would be wildly inappropriate with you under the influence,” he pointed out. Unfortunately the words sounded twice as weak due to the way he was slowly following the direction of that subtle pull on his hair, allowing himself to be led inexorably downward.

“Don’t worry, I’d ask you sober too if I thought you’d say yes.”

To his relief, Madara was spared having to come up with an answer to that. He’d already been led far enough over the back of the couch that Tobirama could sit straight, tilt his face up as he had before, and draw him in to a second kiss that stole the breath right out of his lungs.

Maybe it was a strange thing to fixate on but the thing he noticed first and then couldn’t seem to stop noticing was how warm the other man was. Tobirama’s lips were comfortingly warm against his own and the hand that curled around his jaw felt as though it might leave a brand against his skin. For a single fleeting instant he thought that perhaps he wouldn’t mind wearing Tobirama’s brand for everyone to see. Then he felt a searing hot tongue drag boldly against his lips and gasped, giving his companion an open invitation to delve inside and wipe away all remaining thoughts in his head.

It felt like forever that he spent bent over the couch, lazily making out with a man he would generally be more predisposed to arguing with. And maybe this was why, he realized eventually, thoughts moving sluggishly around the fog filling his brain. Maybe the reason sparks flew every time they were in a room together was just the result of unresolved sexual tension that he had never bothered to properly admit to.

He would freely admit to it now. The only thing keeping him from hopping over to the other side of the couch and ravishing the other properly was the issue of consent. He couldn’t really accept Tobirama’s permission to do anything when he was high as a kite; it was this same thought which gave him the strength to pull away at last. Tobirama followed him with a displeased whine until he was too far away to catch then sank back down in to the cushions with a dazed look on his face.

“We should do that again,” he mumbled distractedly.

“Perhaps when you haven’t been inhaling questionable things that make you reek to the high heavens.” Madara was well aware that his snappy comeback didn’t have nearly the edge it should’ve, not when he sounded so breathless. He didn’t have it in him to care.

“I’ll be fine after a nap.” The lift of Tobirama’s brow was hopeful and it made him smile.

“A nap and a shower, maybe. As I said: you reek. Whatever it is you imbibe, the smell of it is absolutely wretched.”

Chuckling, though not bothering to deny it, Tobirama patted the spot next to him. It took a little coaxing but Madara eventually deigned to stray a little closer and settle himself on the other end of the sofa. Amusement and hesitant pleasure warred with each other when Tobirama huffed and scooted over to cuddle in to his side. He made sure to stay as still as possible while the younger man slowly fell asleep on his shoulder, beatific smile in place.

When Hashirama came home and found the two of them asleep a few hours later he woke them both up with his sobbing. Despite his obvious embarrassment concerning his behavior earlier, Tobirama refused to give up his spot curled up against Madara until he was convince to go home and wash off the smell of the herbs. Madara went home to clean up as well and met the other at his front door with an invitation to dinner that had both of their faces blushing red.

As it turned out, Tobirama had been correct. With the tension between the two of them resolved and the freedom to sneak in a kiss whenever he needed it, the amount of stress he suffered from declined exponentially. That wasn’t to say that he had no stress whatsoever or that his other duties suddenly lightened. He was still as busy as he had ever been with his hand often in too many projects at once. And of course there was nothing to be done about the fact that he simply couldn’t turn off his mind sometimes, when he felt so overwhelmed by everything that he required outside assistance relaxing himself, but the frequency of those occasions grew less as time went by.

Madara rather cheerfully took the credit for that. He had absolutely no complaints about the times when his partner would show up out of nowhere demanding a little stress relief. Over time they developed a number of methods to get rid of the stress and Madara was shameless enough to admit that his favorite was a quick hard round of sex across one of their desks.

If his second favorite was a quiet couple hours of cuddling at home, no one else had to know that.

He also wasn’t afraid to admit that he had never been so relaxed himself either; he hadn’t even noticed how much stress he carried from all of his duties with no release until suddenly his nights were filled with Tobirama and his days with goofy smiles. As annoying as it was, Hashirama’s new habit of bursting in to happy tears at the mere sight of him and Tobirama together also made him sort of smug. He had the strangest urge to puff himself out like a peacock and parade around the village so that everyone could see that Tobirama belonged to him now. Of course, he would never even try to do such a thing, but the urge to was still there.

Eight months passed, before he could even blink it seemed, and Madara was a little bemused to find himself one day standing in the living room of the house they shared, turning a silver ring over and over between his hands. He could hardly believe his life had changed so much in such a short time – and here he was about to change it even more. Well, hopefully. He hadn’t asked yet.

Rustling in the other room caught his attention and Madara took a deep breath in. Just over eight months ago he’d had a gut feeling that something was about to happen when Tobirama left the office and never came back. As he wiped his clammy hands on the sides of his trousers, he wondered if his partner had a similar feeling right now, if he could sense that their lives were about to take yet another step forward.

Clearing his throat, Madara clenched his fist around the ring and forced his feet to walk despite the fluttering in his belly. Although he never could have seen it coming, he was ready for this. He only hoped Tobirama was as well.

And also that his lover wouldn’t deck him one for slipping ‘I get high on your love’ in to his proposal speech.

#word count EXACTLY 5k that is so cool #puns for titles are my jam guys #rae writes #madatobi #madara #tobirama #fanfiction #naruto shippuden

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