#I wasn't feeling that other guy at all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iwritenarrativesandstuff · 9 hours

Text

Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:

Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic

[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]

Flashbacks

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]

Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]

Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]

Extreme alertness/hypervigilance

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]

Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]

Feeling like you have to keep busy

[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]

Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive

[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]

Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]

Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(

[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]

Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard

[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]

Blaming yourself for what happened

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]

Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame

#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it #when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month #after being removed from the traumatic situation #given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when #he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would #however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death #hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles #hxh #gon freecss #this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there #and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to #i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground #because he feels he deserves it #what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(

18 notes · View notes

averlym · 7 months

Text

some very very quick costume shorthands!

#&juliet #had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah #rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk #this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins #which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy #made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh #lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands #which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that #also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo #also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh #im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so #spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no #there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops #tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think #<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>

60 notes · View notes

arashi-no-saxlphone · 29 days

Note

whats your opinion on asuka r kreutz

Buddy. Oh man. Either you know me and went on anon to enable me (in which case, thank you) or you're newer here and haven't seen me cry about Guilty Gear's saddest wettest cat yet.

I fucking adore Asuka R Kreutz. I think he's one of the most tragic and complex characters in Guilty Gear. I was gonna put "Well-written" too buuuut... it's hard to track down clear answers for some of the stuff that covers his time with Freddy and Aria as scientists and so I generally extrapolate what feasibly happened to the best of my ability based on what we have. (I am by no means a full-on expert, but I know enough to tell you this man does not deserve all the flack he gets).

In general, I find Asuka to be an immensely tragic and complicated man who at his core, just didn't want things to change and didn't want to lose his only and most dear friends in the whole world. Every single thing he has ever done was fueled by one of two things - his curiosity (which you can consider a flaw, as it often by his own account causes him to neglect right and wrong) or his deep love for Frederick and Aria (I find this to be his driving force for most of his actions in the story of Guilty Gear, right up until shit becomes so absolutely fucked that he has to spend most of his time trying to fix everything that goes wrong and banking on Sol to come through for him as a warrior). Asuka is the embodiment of the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and that's probably why in lore he's labelled as "The Devil" in addition to "The Gearmaker."

When Aria gets sick, he suggests putting her in cryosleep until they can cure her disease. She refuses because she doesn't want to miss out on her time with Frederick. "Ok," he says, "well I can do something about that so please agree." And she agrees. And Asuka makes Sol a Gear and fucking immortal without telling him. Then all that crazy bullshit that kickstarts the crusades happens and Sol has to kill Aria because Asuka made her into Justice. This part is fucked up. It's a major fuckup on Asuka's part. In a drama CD, it's highlighted how important Aria's humanity and personhood is to her, and Asuka takes that away when he turns her into Justice. "What's the justification then?"

When Asuka found out that the government was going use their research to create gears as weapons and use them for war, he did EVERYTHING he could to try and stop that. Asuka isn't stupid - he's smart. He's a scientific genius. He could've easily taken the sleeping Frederick and Aria and fucked off, but he wanted to right a wrong. And it just... didn't work. He turned Aria into Justice, and though I think he probably intended to turn her back (after all, we see him demonstrate the ability to undo what he did to Sol at the end of strive) he never got the chance. Because the Universal Will overloads her and Justice just starts the Crusades.

In Overture's story, Asuka makes it clear to Sol that he needs him to be a warrior in order to be prepared for more horrors to come. Asuka realizes after the crusades that he can't fix it alone - everything he's done to solve a problem has so far ended up with him making things worse. Sol hates him. He knows Sol hates him. You know what's fucked up though?

He wants Sol to hate him. He feels like he deserves it.

I feel the need to point out that the crusades last over a century - Sol is immortal because of the gear cells and flame of corruption, but Asuka was just a normal guy - why/how is he here? Asuka created a synthetic body for himself that would not age, and transferred his consciousness into it so that he would not change. So that no matter what, Sol would recognize him. Knowing Sol wouldn't forgive him, knowing that he would always be able to find him, he didn't care - he never ever wanted to lose Sol.

Asuka clearly cares about people. He realizes the consequences of his actions, and he's clearly capable of feeling guilt over them. Look at what he does while working with I-No and Raven: He builds the Jack-O unit in the hopes that he can bring Aria back. He builds the Happy Chaos unit in the hope that he can help I-No regain her full self without going insane. He's Raven's only friend, a man who has been cast aside countless times and used for his powers. Those aren't the actions of a selfish or wholly callous man. If he was callous, he wouldn't try so hard to make SURE he could never escape Sol's anger by making himself permanently recognizable.

"Well maybe he just selfishly didn't want to let go of Sol." This is a legitimately fair point. However, let's recall what happens in the strive story: Asuka offers Frederick a choice between letting him remove the gear cells and flame of corruption from him, or letting Sol kill him.

I need you to look me in the eyes when I tell you I can't handle this part. I can't. Well over a century of fuckups and shit going wrong while Asuka desperately tries to make a million things right that weren't even entirely his fault to begin with - he didn't want to make Gears as weapons, hell he didn't even want to be a scientist! He laments about not having any control over his life and certain decisions. In all of that though, he fucking loves his friends Frederick and Aria. Now one of them's dead because of him, and the other one hates him, and after over 100 years of planning and thinking and work-

Asuka R Kruetz has no idea how to look Frederick Bulsara in the eye and tell him he's sorry. He only knows how to fix it, and also how to offer Sol a chance to feel better about it - I think he truly believes that after everything, if Sol killing him will make Sol feel better, that that's what he should let happen. I'm so fucking ill. Asuka thinks the fucking WORLD of Frederick - listen to this bit of his Strive theme, "The Gravity:"

"As the universe turned black / did the sun ever defy fate? / beyond it all do you recognize me?"

In case you aren't familiar with how Sol Badguy got his name, the government gave him the codename "Badguy" while he was running around wrecking gear compounds. "Sol" is a name given to him by Slayer, because he "shone brightly like the sun."

Now look at that snippet from Asuka's theme again - that line about the sun defying fate? That's about Sol. That's about how much he loves and values Sol, someones he repsect and looks up to, and the only person he had left to count on to fix the world that he feels like he fucked up.

As we know, Sol chooses to let Asuka just un-gear him, but after that Asuka just... leaves. He goes to the moon with the tome of origin to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. Do you know how fucking badly it fucks me up, that after everything, Asuka just ends up alone? He spent over a century trying to fix the world, nothing he did worked, and when it finally did everything was different. Everything. Aria is gone, Frederick is happier but not in his life anymore, and Asuka is alone. Everything he ever did started with his love for Frederick and Aria, and at the end of it all he's alone. And he feels guilty.

His Strive arcade Story rips me to fucking pieces - Asuka clones himself and when he does, the clone Asuka R # mentions specifically that Asuka made him "Chattier." He mentions that Asuka "Doesn't like himself." I read that as Asuka making an idealized version of himself - a self that wouldn't fuck up, a self that wouldn't be hated, but also

A self that would carry on his work.

This is where it gets heavy, but I personally believe Asuka intended to kill himself initially. He has no idea how to say sorry to Frederick, no idea how to atone, and no idea how to exist in a world that so far, he feels he has only ever fucked up in. Another snippet from his theme: "does existence have meaning? / the reality or the truth, the reality of the truth / what fact should we accept? / The reality or the truth? reality" He's trying to figure out if he can still live, if even if he wants to live, does he even deserve to? Have the right to? How can he atone?

The clone states, though it dances around it, that it's worried for Asuka - worried that he's hoping he'll lose the fight, hoping he'll die. But two of the possible outcomes (as strive arcade mode dialogue tends vary based on performance) are listed below:

In both of these conversations, the clone cites a desire to exist - which to the clone, since it is also Asuka in way, means that the original Asuka wants to exist too - and therefore that he can, and is trying to figure out how to.

I think Asuka, like a lot of Gear characters, is about trying to find a place in the world - even if the whole world feels like it's not built for you. All Asuka has ever done is tried - and failed. But he's still here. He DID manage to unfuck everything, and he did it because he DID still have Sol. Another bit of insight his clone dumps on him:

that bit there: "I know you can't affirm yourself. But at least tell me you’ll keep walking. Even if you lose your way. As long as one person out there cares about you… It’s worth it just to try to keep them happy." This is a common theme in Gear: relationships, both romantic and platonic, saving people; connections to others giving people a reason to go on or to see a new perspective that makes life worth living. Jack-O found Sol, who treated her like her own person and made her realize she was more than just a replacement for Aria. Dizzy found Ky and vice versa, changing Ky's perspective on Gears and having Dizzy realize she could be happy even in a world that treated her like a monster. Here on the moon, creating Asuka R# to talk to, Asuka is trying his very best to see and understand the world through Frederick's eyes - a world that Frederick saw as worth fighting for:

Asuka is a character who hasn't found his way yet, but all that matters is that he keeps looking.

Uh so to answer your question, I love Asuka R Kreutz - maybe you can tell by the fact that I dumped an absolute trainwreck mess on you after one small ask. Sorry! I apologize about this being a little all over the place and not having as much cohesion as I would've liked but this character is very dense and complicated and I did this kinda quickly so I had to sort through a bunch of weird feelings as I typed - I hope you found at least some of it interesting.

Thank you for the ask!

Ah, and a big fat huuuuuuuuge thank you to the stellar and amazing new Gear wiki, which is where I pulled those screenshots of his arcade mode script from! It's really a wonder how fast the wiki was put together and just what a fantastic resource it is for stuff like this; it saved me having to watch a video or, god forbid, try and do Asuka's arcade mode myself. Below is a link to the wiki page I pulled Asuka's stuff from - please check it out cause I didn't even come close to covering the full depth of what's talked about in his Arcade mode story and also because the wiki is glorious and deserves love:

23 notes · View notes

gideonisms · 1 year

Text

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier!#i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse!#but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

72 notes · View notes

rainybraindays · 4 months

Text

Okay, apparently shutting the fuck up was never an option but the way no one likes to look at the marina situation and go "wow what the fuck is wrong with portia"? Crazy.

Like she immediately didn't like her, not because of anything she'd done, but because she took attention from her daughters no matter how bright she dressed them.

It didn’t matter that the main reason is that, honestly all 3 of her daughters are painfully awkward, and in ones case literally 17. It didn’t matter that Marina was only there at her fathers instance, or that theoretically through having someone thats clearly popular in her home she could have used it as a jump off mark to match her daughters, she was seen as her big hurdle to marrying them off. Marinas immediately othered, to the point that when shes being dressed the maids helping put on her shoes is enough to piss Portia off. She immediately puts Marina in the same ring as her daughters, fight for my attention and maybe maybe it'll be positive. But Marina doesn't do that because she doesn't want to even be there.

And then they find out she's pregnant and shes othered even more. She immediately tries to send her back, and when she's not allowed to do that shes locked away and the other girls aren't even allowed to talk to her. She literally tries to freeze her out, like Marina has any say in being there in the first place, before lying to her about her being abandoned by George.

She makes no attempt to find out if George has family, she doesn't care enough to try even though that would have been a way to get rid of her "problem". She tries to push Marina onto a man old enough to be her grandfather and slaps her across the fucking face when she tries to stand up for herself.

Theres no concern for her safety, for the babys safety, just getting her out of her house as fast as fucking possible, and I'm meant to be surprised that when Colin saves Marina from her elderly suitor she turns her attention to him?

Like the nicest guy, who everyone likes, who's attractive, who isn't multiple decades older than her and most importantly not going to literally assault her? Yeah not a big shocker. Should she have lied to him? No, but she wouldn't have had to or felt the need to if she wasn't in the most hostile fucking house. Even Penelope, who she likes, why does everyone forget that she fucking likes Penelope and viewed her as a friend, becomes aggressive towards her. Shes cornered, shes scared, and all of this could have been avoided if Portia was a slightly better person and said "hey soilder boys not written back, you're gonna have this kid, does he have any family?" instead of setting this entire mess in motion.

#rainy talks #firm believer that Portia is a shit person who set this whole mess in motion #for all the “marinas still a bad person!! look at how she lashed out at pen! at how easily she manipulated colin” girlies #shut up maybe?? pen lashedout first and longer #and i genuinely believe if Penelope had said she had feelings for colin or marina had noticed earlier she wouldn't have pursued him #because she saw pen as a /friend/ but pen doesn't tell her and she doesn't find out until its too late to turn back #and i already said how lying to colin wasn't great but if you saw things in shades of grey you'd understand why shes doing it #its not a black and white situation #“marina shows no remorse though! she doesn't feel guilty ”#man she almost died trying to abort her kids just t still have them she has other stuff going on #how about we talk about her seeing this sad guy and going “dude you've gotta move on so many people love you”#and then hinting at pens feelings for him #clearly trying to still be a friend to pen by nudging him towards her even after everything #apparently I'm in my hating portia Featherington era between this and my rant in the tags of the last one #bridgerton #marina thompson #portia featherington

22 notes · View notes

tennessoui · 6 months

Note

the hunger games au! anakins confidence! obi-wan being the mentor! the fact that they’re together BEFORE anakin even gets picked!

poor robin tho lol :( but you know the games go on for like 12 hours longer while Anakin waits for someone else to kill her. In theory it’s because of his ruse with the capital, but it’s definitely just for obi-wan. So really, obi-wan did help her live longer than she would have otherwise, from a certain point of view.

also obi-wan definitely finds it romantic that anakin let someone else kill her & rewards him for it after the games ;)

(also for a sec i thought maybe the other girl would be padme & maybe anakin used to like her and is briefly sad & padme is a master manipulator and makes obi-feel like shit for choosing to let her die (making anakin hate her lol) and also making obi-wan feel super insecure about the ruse and also maybe really petty and bitchy? and she’s also really popular in the capital and canon padme isn’t a terrible fighter either)(maybe padme pretends to be (or is) pregnant and she pretends their anakins and obi-wan is SO insecure and/or seeing red)

lmao sorry for the massive ask the hunger games awaken something terrible in me

oo i think maybe a braver writer would probably have made anakin's other tribute padmé, and i guess there's still time for that, but i didn't want to for a couple of reasons, hence using a made up oc instead

i think the tug of guilt obi-wan would feel over having a preferred victor (anakin) and giving them both trainings but then really carefully only campaigning for sponsors to take a look at anakin, not the other tribute.....because anakin needs funds for a blanket, anakin needs food, obi-wan is watching anakin suffer and any second he may have to watch him die.... he feels guilty about the other tribute but he cannot watch anakin die....like that's enough guilt for obi-wan, i don't think specifically padmé could make him feel worse

also i think another reason i didn't choose padmé was because i didn't want anyone to think anakin used to like her lol this anakin is not normal this anakin is a creep this anakin was like. fourteen, saw obi-wan being all pathetic and sad and decided if obi-wan wasn't going to take advantage of him anakin was going to take advantage of obi-wan, worm his way into his confidences and affections and then never ever leave like this is not a boy who had a crush on any sort of padmé amidala he would not be sad he is not capable of being sad about the other tribute this is not a normal dude and tbh its easier to just. not have her in the story than to push back against that all the time

or i think i'd have her as part of the capitol who works with obi-wan to overturn palpatine once the rebellion is going on, but i think she would find anakin off-putting because he's 100% creep but not a creep who is in love with her and it just actually makes her uncomfortable to be in a room with him. asks obi-wan to blink twice if he needs rescuing. obi-wan blinks a lot of times because he's confused as to how anyone could ever need saving from anakin

anakin wouldn't hurt a fly

#asks #obikin #hunger games au #padme: wait sorry are you saying that you cant understand how anyone could find the guy who murdered 20 people in 2 days offputting #obi-wan: that wasn't his choice :( i asked him to #padme: im gonna stop you right there because this revolution isgoing to be really hard to carry out #if i don't feel comfortable in a room with you too #also just spare padme from that in general lol #i also thought about having ahsoka be the other tribute #but i didnt think people were ready for that #like there wouldnt be a happy ending where anakin grows to care for her and then they both get out of the arena #it would have been 'make padme pregnant in couples counseling au' all over again #and that was exhausting for me as the writer i cannot lie

26 notes · View notes

spocks-kaathyra · 3 months

Text

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

16 notes · View notes

essenceofarda · 16 days

Text

#still think abt the time an (adult) male relative told me (when i was 10) that I 'needed to lose weight or no man would ever find me sexy'#which IDK feels like a shitty thing to say to anyone but especially a girl who had yet to even reach puberty lmao #and who wasn't even That overweight at the time Nor had body image issues until that moment going forward lol #ironically... I ended up having some ED issues and gained a bunch of weight from then on #mainly bc i had some CSA trauma in my early childhood way before that conversation so I internalized the idea #that if I was fat no man would give me unwanted attention #however... this thought process (on top of other things) led me to believe for almost my entire life that no man would find me attractive #or like me or love me at ALL unless I either lose a bunch of weight and maybe not even then #which is kinda why I'm overall uninterested in men even if the attraction is technically there?#I lost interest in even male Friendships tbh bc i internalized this idea that no man would be interested in me even platonically 🤔#anyway. just something I'm working through in therapy but every once in a while I wonder why it's so hard for me to lose weight #and then I remember... ah yes.. '✨trauma✨' lol #funky's personal tag #delete later probs #anyway. I can't really talk about this stuff easily outside of therapy irl so I just be yelling into the void sorry guys :(

12 notes · View notes

alternautxyz · 13 hours

Text

uuhhh in other new that lmk s5 trailer dropped and people are very

mixed

for context the new season is being partly animated by wildbrain i think. flying bark is still working on the show but probably due to all the other projects they've been working on like the atla movie the animation is off.

its understandable that people are upset. lmk has some of the most consistently dynamic and lively animation ive ever seen, and going from that to ok animation kinda sucks. as a culmination of a lot of what the series has been building up to people were inevitably going to be disappointed

at the same time people shouldnt harass animators. like ever. no amount of trying to petition or anything will change the s5, people are just trying to do their job and theres no probably no major changing to the finished product by now. and theres still a lot of that lmk charm in there, and we haven't even seen the whole season yet to judge it. flying bark is still working on it, and even if the animation never reaches the peak of the old seasons it still has the same writers so at least the writing has the chance to live up old standards. idk though we'll just have to wait and see

#i do think they could have just delayed it after dealing with other projects but with the anniversary lego might have jsut forced them????#and with how the animation industry is i guess they didnt have a choice #tbh im still really sad about the downgrade but after rewatching the trailer a bit more its not that bad despite the tweening #we've been spoiled with the other seasons but i think people will get used to it at some point. maybe #though i cant forgive some of the new stuff like erlang and that dragon tiger duo they do not fit the artstyle at all #though for erlang i think the problem is mostly proportions and how small his eyes look #but the dragon and tigers snouts just look bad.#ok looking at it again i think it looks weird because theyre dissolving. the design's still off but it wasn't as bad as i first thought.#but the proportions and shapes feels like it just isn't from lmk #idk i could nitpick but negativity is tiring and these guys have big shoes to fill for a show they werent prepared for it was inevitable #for any last takeaways please do not be mean to the animators #also studio changes are normal so its not some horrible injustice or the sign of the end times im more upset lego didn't handle it better #i still hope s5 is good and i want to believe it'll still be satisfying by the end the plot so far sounds pretty interesting #or atleast that the atla movie is good enough to compensate #and if im feeling greedy there will be a 6th season that gets better #and there are still good shots throughout all of this so maybe it'll work out with the season as a whole #with how popular it is in china i dont think its out of the question #idk though a lot of information is still up in the air so i guess we just wait #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #alttalks

12 notes · View notes

worstloki · 2 years

Text

literally who looks at avengers 1 loki and goes "oh ya that's a healthy guy who wants to be here"

#which of you is it #i just want to talk #like there is literally nothing in avengers 1 backing that up #fury: why do i feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?#well sir it's because your vibe checker is off #if you would take a look at the guy he's sitting there staring blankly at a wall and has been for the past 2 hours #the last time someone talked to him he started touching the walls after specifically being told if he did he would be dropped many feet #like come on man #fury like hey thor what r ur thoughts on torturing him like fury wasn't there when loki came out of the portal #face sweaty enough to restore the drying yangtze fr #im sorry who looks at loki saying ANYTHING in that movie and goes 'ah yes. he's sane.'#'completely mentally sound right now. all there. there is no sceptre or thanos or other influencing him. he wants this. they help him.'#like COME ON

199 notes · View notes

athenaholmesartistsguild · 4 months

Text

I've only just started chapter 3 of Gaiden but I am absolutely obsessed with the theme of powerlessness and how it's conveyed within the game.

I can't help but notice how often Kiryu says he 'doesn't have a choice' when doing pretty much anything. Even if it's in super banal, low-stakes interactions like doing something for Akame, he's constantly stating that he feels as if he has no agency in his current situation.

In the previous Kiryu Saga games, Kiryu is painfully aware of the consequences of his actions, but he still regards them as choices that he made; not something he was forced into.

His status as a Daidoji agent has basically beaten him into submission. He'll occasionally try to fight against this absolute control over him, but he's eventually returned to his position as a pawn in this huge, shadowy organization. The Daidoji are the first organization/power structure that managed to get control over Kiryu's tendency to burn shit to the ground and good god do they take advantage of that.

But then Kiryu's also painfully aware that this is the reality he asked for. Not only does he outright say this multiple times, but he's telling others that 'they started this' when they're confronting him and it's so obvious that he's talking to himself.

He's constantly bouncing between feeling miserable and powerless and then resenting these feelings and berating himself for having them in the first place. He's grasping at any sliver of control he can still have over his life, not to find meaning in his new existence, but to further punish and abuse himself.

I can't remember the exact post, but I saw someone describe Gaiden as a love letter to the Kiryu Saga and that's the best way to describe it, I think.

Kiryu's arc in his games is an incredibly slow car crash where we witness in painful detail how incapable he is of permanently leaving his life as yakuza to protect his family.

He has this almost codependent relationship with the Tojo Clan and feels a compulsive urge to get involved in the constant crises happening.

Of course, there were outside factors that were trying to pull him into these conflicts. Everyone believes that he's the only one who can fix everything. Kiryu's name carries power. Isn't it disgustingly selfish to refuse to get involved when he was the one who chose the clan's chairmen?

How could he refuse to deliver a single letter after the 5th chairman was shot right in front of him?

How could he ignore the people threatening to take his orphanage away from him and his kids?

How could he tell his daughter that she can't become an idol because of his past?

How could he justify staying alive when it did nothing but bring harm to his family?

What choice did he have?

But remember, you chose this, Kiryu.

#Ughhhhh Gaiden's so fucking good you guys.#I'm both super excited for Infinite Wealth and absolutely terrified of what's gonna happen.#I can just tell it's gonna fuck me up.#Guess we'll see how much damage Gaiden does first :')#I also find it interesting how Kashiwagi seems to be more of a parental figure in Kiryu's life than Kazama.#I'll probably write something more detailed later but Kiryu has a line at the end of the ChatGPT quest where he mentions Kashiwagi #and I thought it was interesting that he was more concerned with making Kashiwagi mad than Kazama.#Almost as if Kazama wasn't around as much as Kashiwagi.#yakuza analysis #kiryu kazuma #like a dragon gaiden spoilers #yakuza 6 spoilers #tagging is kinda weird since the Yakuza series got rebranded lol. Obviously 'Like a Dragon' fits better than 'Yakuza'#since all our protags leave the Yakuza like. Immediately.#But I feel like in a few years there's gonna be a divide between people who are new to the series and the pre-rebrand fans tagging-wise.#all us moldy oldies are gonna be using the 'Yakuza' tag while the other half of the fandom is tagging everything with 'LAD'#But it's always fun to watch fandoms evolve and change so I guess we'll see!

16 notes · View notes