#I think he was a bit confused about the into the unknown video anniversary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rpgmgames · 5 years

Photo

May’s Featured Game: Cadeau

DEVELOPER(S): HALFWORLDstudios ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Horror, Fantasy, Puzzle WARNINGS: Blood, Mild Gore, Suicide Mentions, Death SUMMARY: Cadeau is an RPG Horror game about a lonely, yet stubborn, young woman named Charlotte-- who finds herself in a world unknown to man, wearing clothes that do not belong to her. Wonderful and tragic events are to follow suit, as all of her greatest wishes come true. However, as these things often go, her happiness does not come without consequence...

Play the beta here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Macdev: Greetings and salutations. I'm Mac, writer, artist, and programmer for Cadeau, as well as the founder of Halfworld. I've loved Rpg games since I was about 10, and have been creating them since! Bruno: My name is Bruno and I'm the music composer. I got into game music approx 2 years ago and I've currently made music for a couple of games and other projects, and Cadeau was the first one of them. Aidan: I'm Aidan/kanteramcneil on Tumblr! I'm one of the voice actors, and I'm super excited to be able to follow Cadeau's progress! I've been in the RpgMaker community for a few years now and I adore being able to watch all the devs progress and grow Rindre: Hi I'm Rin! Currently, I'm on an indefinite hiatus, but Big Mac managed to catch me, chain me up to a chair, and make me say stuff about myself against my will. So... I make games, I guess. - Note from macdev: Erm, not true? These accusations are SLANDER and I will not stand for it. WariA: Hello! I’m WaraiA, one of the voice actors of Cadeau — A pleasure to meet you! I will be voicing the oh so mysterious ‘Your Admirer’, so please look forward to listening to my antics ☆〜（ゝ。∂） I am a Japanese/Chinese Australian born citizen, with a tendency to speak in an American accent. Any pronouns are fine for me My most notable role so far has been Harpae from Pocket Mirror, so some of you may be familiar with my voice already! Nothing much has changed — I enjoy cosplaying, role playing, drawing every once in a blue moon, Final Fantasy XIV, and most importantly, catboys (Nael, I’m coming for you, boy) As ‘Your Admirer’ is a rather elusive character, I cannot disclose much. But I do suggest always keeping one eye open throughout your journey

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Macdev: Cadeau is a game about a troubled young woman named Charlotte Émile-- who is a "tomboyish" and bold individual who has been unfortunately presented loneliness by a series of disastrous events. After giving up on companionship, she miraculously receives an affectionate letter from a mysterious person aliased as her "Admirer". This "Admirer" character beckons poor Charlotte to visit them at a mysterious well in the woods, and to come armed with nothing but a strange golden coin. From there, madness ensues. Our protagonist must learn of her past and the events that lead to her misfortune, all while becoming entangled in a family drama rooted in witchcraft, raging years before her unexpected arrival. It is a story about self-love, friendship, acceptance, magic, and all that corny-ness. Sounds fun, right? My initial inspiration was The Witches House. The game was originally meant to be simple, and maybe an hour or 45 minutes long. A simple story, and a straightforward 2-ending path.... How have we managed to get here from that?

How long did you work on your project? *Macdev: Two years, I believe! Its anniversary is April 8th. In the beginning, it was very off and on-- because I was having a difficult time with school and-- as I mention-- organization. So not a whole lot of progress was made then. I'm proud to say I've been chugging quite a bit faster than my previous pace!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Macdev: My inspiration would probably lie in Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, and Alice returns to madness. As for RPG games? The Witch's House, Havenfell, and Pocket Mirror. As well as many other beautiful artists and creators in the video game community. Overall, my biggest inspiration for this game has got to be the stop-motion movie: Coraline. I even reference the movie once or twice in Cadeau. The tone of Coraline, and the whimsical yet eerie people and creatures within it give me inspiration for this game. It was very much a favorite of mine when I was younger, and that still applies today!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Macdev: The biggest problem I've run into has been a lack of structure. In the beginning, I hadn't even written out the story halfway. I was just pulling ideas from thin air, going back and forth, and deleting entire concepts-- only to bring them back and re-arrange them as I went. Characters weren't fully dished out; the game didn't even have an ending. This state of creating is fine, but not when you have other people expecting things from you. Thankfully, things are sailing much MUCH smoother than before.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Macdev: It's absolutely taken a turn from what it was originally! As I say, it was meant to be an extremely short game in the beginning, and now obviously that’s not the case. The goal for Cadeau now is: around 2-3 hours long in playtime, and full of many diverse character types! As well as a storyline that extends far more than face value. Which is in high contrast to the basic, short, immemorable experience that it was going to be.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Macdev: I do have a wonderful, beautiful, talented team working with me on Cadeau. - A composer! (Bruno Buglisi), - As well as voice actors! (WariA as Allete, Aiden/kanteramcneil as The Botanist, and Rindre (who I have definitely not kidnapped...) as The Maiden) I met everyone in the team through volunteer posts-- and I had never done that before-- but it worked very surprisingly well! We worked very quickly together, and we had a very mutual understanding of what each other wanted. It feels good to know I have such talented people helping this game come to fruition. I owe a whole lot to them for helping the game become what it is now.

What was the best part of developing the game? Macdev: Being able to make the world in your head interactable, for sure. Since I was 8, maybe even younger, I have loved writing stories and making art. Webcomics were my main thing as a kid, so story-telling is something I’ve always loved. So, the fact that I can turn my ideas into something someone can experience and interact with is a wonderful feeling. There's nothing more fulfilling, honestly!

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Macdev: Very often, actually! I try not to ride too close to the material I see in other games, but I do gain lots of inspiration from my fellow creators! One thing I am laser-focused on, though, is making Cadeau quite unique content-wise. I want it to have very interesting, uncommon puzzles and mechanics that you may not expect from this type of game-- or one of this engine. So far, I think I've achieved this-- so look out for that!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Macdev: My favorite character has got to be The Botanist. At the beginning of the game he has no dialogue, yet still presents such a strong personality. They are kind, thoughtful, and absolutely adorable. Look at that foofy hair! I'm a sucker for it. Their character arc is something I'm excited for. It's been a blast writing it so far-- and I won’t spoil anything-- but you guys will love him. I'm sure of it. Now if we're talking character design, Naël has got to be my favorite. He recently received a “tune-up,” as I would like to call it, and I think everything works together very cohesively in his design now. It's probably one of my favorites out of all of them, at this point.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Macdev: Thankfully, things worked out perfectly-- and the universe blessed me with a wonderful team in the end-- but it was very stressful once I realized I had asked for help way too early. I essentially made a single map, and a little character sheet-- then asked for a whole team to help me out. As I said, it luckily worked out in the end. Now we have so many amazing people helping us-- but we also lost a few in the madness-- and that's a mistake on my part, 100%. If you don't know what you want, it's hard to ask for help. It will lead to confusion, lots of back and forth, frustration, etc... Just wait until your way further in development. Trust me. I know it’s easy to jump the gun and shoot for the stars, but sometimes it won’t work out as well as it has for the Cadeau team!

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Macdev: I won't say as of now! The idea of a sequel/prequel has floated around, but if it does come to fruition, it won't be until way after the release of Cadeau. We'll just have to see. (This isn’t to say I’m not hopeful!)

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Macdev: I have so many amazing project ideas lined up for after the release of Cadeau. I won’t spill too much, so they'll be more of a surprise-- but they range from classic, adventure-themed true RPG's-- to 3D teenage-thrillers. I'm honestly stoked, there's so much in store for Halfworld.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Macdev: I think my biggest fear is letting people down. Also, I worry about losing interest or having people form the idea that the game is never going to be completed. It’s just going to take some time, is all, and that’s okay!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Macdev: I already mentioned above not to jump the gun and ask for help too early, so some more advice I'll give: is to keep all your material, all your ideas, and all your concepts in one concise place. I would say do it digitally from the get-go, but if you would prefer to write it down physically that's fine! Just make sure it's only one or 2 notebooks, and not 13. The information for Cadeau is spread throughout my hideous mound of notebooks, as I get up during ungodly hours of the night to scrawl a sudden idea down. So, I'm currently in the process of moving them to one digital spot-- and while it's generally easy-- I would have been able to avoid it if I had just put everything in one spot in the beginning. Oh, and back up your progress regularly! I have separate backups of Cadeau from months in 2 different years, and in 4 different places. So, I take backups very seriously—and so should you!

Question from last month's featured dev @atlasatrium: What's your favorite RPG Maker game and why? *Aidan: I love End roll, Ib, OFF, Prom Dreams, From Next Door, and Aria's Story! Bruno: Mm, definitely Long Gone Days (though it’s not being made on rpgmaker now) Midnight Train, Heartbeat and Glitched! WariA: I don't really have any :0 the devs I've worked with so far have all been really sweet (´꒳`);; Macdev: This is a tough question! I have a lot of favorites. Probably Stray Cat Crossing overall, but I also love Home and Starboy. Starboy brings a lot of memories, and Stray Cat Crossing was what inspired me to start making games! Oh, and Home is just very cute.

We mods would like to thank HALFWORLDstudios for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Cadeau if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpgmaker #rpgmaker vx ace #indie games #Pixel Games #pixel horror #cadeau #project cadeau #projectcadeau #gotm #game of the month #gotm may #gotm 2019 #2019 #game of the month 2019

233 notes · View notes

hellevator-mp3 · 5 years

Text

of chaos and calamities || Part 5

Pairing(s): Johnten, Chenji/Chensung, Markhyuck, Norenmin (luwoo, yuwin, jaeyong, and doil all make appearances!)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,100+

Warnings: None

Author Note: ...as usual, this is late!! but i’m 92% certain that it’s longer than the other chapters so?? there’s that??

jisung wonders how he’s spent nearly his whole life by chenle’s side, and is still learning about him.

chenle wonders how he’s spent nearly his whole life with jisung, but still falls more and more in love with him every day.

°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°

most days, johnny can handle the babies of their friend group. there were some days, however, that he couldn't. today was one of them.

the day had begun normally - he and ten stayed in their shared bed until twenty minutes before they had to leave, which made ten jump out of bed and hurry through his shower before nearly tossing johnny out of his sprawled out position, leg kicked over a pillow in ten’s absence. johnny merely whispered ‘hot’ in response to the action, then finally dragging himself up and going to take his own shower while ten scrounged together a small breakfast for the two of them, knowing that they wouldn’t have time to eat on campus, considering their time was ticking away quickly as johnny stalled, unable to decide between two nearly identical shirts. ten picked one, they ate breakfast, and then hurried out the door into the crisp spring air.

johnny was glad for the change in weather, knowing that it was warming up and that meant that their spring break was coming up. he and ten were planning a trip to go see both of their sets of parents during the break, a trip that was costing them both nearly a year’s worth of paychecks. however, it would be all worth it, finally getting to meet one another’s parents after close to four years of dating. of course, they had video chatted with their parents, but they had never met in person, so it was time to remedy that.

the two of them stumbled into the canteen, instantly spotting mark and donghyuck, who were both hunched over an assignment. johnny and ten stood back for a minute, watching the newly formed couple in silence. when mark got a question right, donghyuck nearly jumped to his feet and cheered, praising mark all the while. the other had a bright blush on his cheeks, but accepted the words of praise and kisses that donghyuck was bestowing upon him. “remember when we were like that?” ten mumbled, looking up at johnny. he nodded, smiling at the memory.

“we’re still like that, just not in front of them.” he replied, leaning down to press a kiss on ten’s temple. ten rolled his eyes in response, mumbling a ‘liar’ before dragging the taller with him to go greet the babies. they sat in silence for a few minutes, johnny having pulled out his laptop to type more of his last essay of the year as ten dozed off on the table. jaemin and jeno were the next to arrive, their duo looking oddly empty without renjun. jaemin came bearing a mysterious tote bag, filled halfway with unknown contents. they were talking between themselves as they walked, jeno smiling brightly before he made eye contact with the others at the table. mark and donghyuck had paused their studying, donghyuck calling out “did you bring the stuff?” as they neared the table. jaemin nodded, jeno calling back with something unintelligible. after sitting down, jaemin pulled out a bag of what looked like party horns, amongst other noisemakers and a bag of confetti. johnny eyed the contents suspiciously as jeno and jaemin began to hand them out, telling the others to hide what they got. when ten finally picked up his head, there was a small party hat and a horn laid in front of him, and he just let out a small “ah” in response, his head dropping and small snores soon emitting from his sleeping figure.

it took a few minutes for johnny to realize that it was soon to be renjun’s birthday, and surely his boyfriends had planned something big. by that time, chenle and jisung had joined them. there was nothing wrong with that, aside from the fact that jisung was walking normally, with chenle’s hands on his bicep, and chenle - well, chenle was wearing a pair of roller skates, allowing jisung to drag him around. the sight, however, didn’t even shock johnny.

instead, it brought him back to the time that jaemin showed up in a battery powered ride on car, that was made for kids. jeno and renjun had flanked him, looking like they were considering breaking up with him and moving on with their lives - that is, until jaemin stopped suddenly and pulled renjun onto the back, and jeno into his lap.

johnny still didn’t know how they managed to ride around on/in that car for the whole day, without a single teacher saying a word about it.

but the thought was thoroughly erased from his head at they took their seats, chenle throwing himself down with a sigh and a quiet complaint from jisung. the youngest of the group all huddled together, jaemin passing out more of the party supplies to the newcomers, explaining what their plan was. jisung and chenle nodded in understanding, chenle fiddling with the elastic string attached to the bottom of his party hat. after a shriek of “he’s coming” erupted from near the canteen entrance, johnny looked around, and finally noticed some of the familiar faces seated around him, most of which wouldn’t have been there on a normal day, and most certainly wouldn’t be hidden among the normal students, all of whom were either, a: looking around in confusion, or b: ignoring it, because this was university and weird shit happened all the time. taeil and doyoung sat at the table behind them, with taeyong and jaehyun at the table to their right, and then yuta and sicheng at the far left. straight in front of johnny was kun, yang yang, xiao jun, and hendery. to that groups left, and closest to the door, was jungwoo and yukhei - yukhei being the one that screamed.

johnny noticed that most of them were holding different party favors as well, taeyong messing around with three different blowout horns in his mouth as jaehyun watched, idly twirling another noisemaker in his hand. however, at the sound of yukhei’s voice, everyone seemed to jump into position, ready to make as much noise as possible. just a few seconds too late, johnny saw jeno and jaemin sneak away from the table after storing the tote bag out of the way, splitting up quickly. jeno went out into the hallway, while jaemin went to the large panel of light switches across the room from them. renjun had barely propped the door open when the lights suddenly switched off, bathing the room in near darkness, except for the glass walls that surrounded the canteen still let light in - jaemin clearly hadn’t thought that through, johnny thought. either way, renjun still gasped, spotting jaemin in the dimmer light, and making his way to him. “what is this?” he could be heard calling out, and jaemin just smiled, shaking his head.

“happy birthday baby! i know you didn’t want anything big, but i only wanna do the best for my boyfriend, so this is it.” jaemin called back as he met renjun halfway, pulling him into a tight hug. not even a heartbeat later, the doors were flung open, and were held open by two of jeno’s friends, who johnny thinks are named hyunjoon and felix. the two boys are quickly overshadowed by the object in jeno’s hands - a three or four tier birthday cake, with a handful of candles on the top, and decorations trailing down the side. jeno’s smile is wide as he makes it through the door, making his way over to renjun and setting the cake down on a nearby table to hug renjun and tell him happy birthday. it didn’t take more than a minute for renjun to nearly break down in tears, overwhelmed at the sudden celebrations. johnny couldn’t hear what was being said, but he could see the way renjun’s lip trembled as he kept softly hitting jeno’s arm, then jaemins, and presumably questioning when they had time to plan all this.

jeno could only smile in delight, calling to the others. “that’s not all, though. come on out, guys.”

thus, a sobbing renjun was pulled into his boyfriends’ embrace as the rest of his friend group converged on him, making all sorts of noise and donning party hats. johnny even coaxed ten from his spot, the shorter begrudgingly wearing his hat as he leaned on johnny, still half asleep. when renjun finally pulled himself together, he blew out the candles as the rest of them sang happy birthday to him, and made noise after the last candle had gone out. it wasn’t long before the three boyfriends were huddled together once again, quickly surrounded in a group hug by the others.

the first to break away were chenle and jisung, who had to run to class. they both called out their congratulations to renjun, who tearfully waved at them, and promised to save them each a piece of cake. jisung, once again, walked away with chenle’s arm on his bicep, dragging the elder on his roller skates.

let’s just say, they only got in a little bit of trouble with their teacher for it, and chenle had to be carried up the stairs to their class, and then to his seat in the lecture hall.

long story short, it was a very, very, v e r y long day for jisung.

but it was very worth it, jisung thought as he gave chenle a piggyback ride back to their dorm, where he had a surprise waiting. their 10th anniversary (or, at least the 10th year since he ‘proposed’ in the third grade) was coming up, and he had some of the parents of the group - taeyong, jaehyun, doyoung, and taeil - set up their room to be a romantic dinner for two, followed by a ‘movie date’ in their living area, and then whatever they wanted.

jisung had left his key with the elders, allowing them to go in and decorate as they saw fit, but had told chenle that jeno forgot something in their room (a common occurrence) and had left his key for that purpose. when they finally reached their hall, jisung set chenle down gently, the elder swinging his skates about as he danced around on bare feet, startling everyone in the hallway. jisung could only watch in amusement, smiling fondly as he watched chenle dig through his bag for his key. he followed shortly after, locking the door behind them. his key laid on the kitchen countertop, on top of a small note that read “dinner's in the microwave, have fun” with a winky face at the end - more than likely jaehyun’s doing.

with a quick eyeroll, he bustled around to get their food out, hurrying to set it up as chenle threw their stuff in the bedroom. when he came back, he saw jisung waiting by the doorway to their small kitchenette, and eyed him suspiciously. it was easy to push the taller aside, and he spotted the plates of food right away, turning to assess his boyfriend warily. mentally, he ran over the past few days, wondering if he had given off signs that something was wrong. as if sensing his mental debate, jisung finally broke his poker face and grinned. “you don’t remember, do you?” he asked, a glint of humor in his eyes as chenle shook his head. “it’s been ten years since i proposed to you on the playground.” with a tut and a joking shake of his head, jisung gently pushed chenle to the table, pulling out his chair and nudging him to sit down. the food was almost hot enough to steam, and the two happily chowed down on the meal that neither of them had to cook. afterwards, they cuddled up with nearly every blanket in their dorm on their small couch, watching a few movies back to back before heading to their room to continue the marathon, this time with a new show they’d been watching together.

it was later in the night, with their fingers intertwined over his stomach that jisung felt himself truly relax as they talked about everything and anything. even though they had known each other practically their whole lives, there was still new things that they found out about one another. jisung learned that night that chenle wanted to go to the stars, wanted to see their beauty up close. jisung didn’t bother telling him that he would likely go blind from that.

instead, into the pitch black of their room, he whispered that he would steal the stars from the sky if that’s what chenle wanted.

chenle insists that he didn’t let out the cutest noise after that, a sharp ‘eep’ made of embarrassment and shock, but couldn’t convey the love and warmth that filled his chest at the other’s words.

50 notes · View notes

shippingtheswann · 6 years

Photo

FOOLS RUSH IN:

Summary: Emma Swan has been married since she was five years old. Under the old oak tree, she wed Killian Jones, her neighbor. Then, he moved away, but made one final promise, that one day he would marry her for real. See what happens when he returns to make good on his promise.

Rating: Explicit/Mature

Fools Rush in Chapter Four

Catch up with Chapter One here

A/N: Thanks to @captainswanbigbang for once again organizing an amazing event. I've been missing Captain Swan for the past year, and having this has helped so much! Thanks to Lana @high-seas-swan and Kaitlyn @spartanguard for their beta help. Go check out Lana's story when you get a moment as well – it's amazing! Thanks to Rachel @ladyciaramiggles for the art she has provided. Also, thanks to Kris @sambethe for the cover art for the story and for beta help. All of you have made this story what it is! Enjoy Chapter Four and get ready for the amazingness of what is going to happen!

Side note: all the reviews have been AMAZING! Please keep them coming. I know I haven't responded to any of them; but they mean the world to me! I appreciate all the words and support!

Liam had never seen Killian so nervous. Killian had traveled the world, been to war zones, but never in his life did he feel so unsure of something. They were both off on Friday, and Liam watched as Killian paced around the house, changed his shirt at least five times, and burned the shit out of his bacon.

Meeting Emma again after so many years was the scariest thing he'd ever done. It wasn't that he didn't want to meet her again—he definitely did want to see her again. It was the unknown that scared him shitless. He wasn't sure where they stood.

When he left all those years ago, they were on good terms. Their promises to each other were fresh and held weight. However, as the years grew long, as time passed, those words meant less and less. Killian knew he'd fucked up by not writing to her. He knew he'd messed up by not making things right sooner. So, he was going into this dinner blind.

He wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him again. And truthfully, he wasn't sure how he would react either. The couple of times he had caught glimpses of her in the past, he either ran scared or was frozen in his tracks. Now that he was actually going to see her, face to face, and be confronted with everything that had happened, he wasn't sure what would happen.

In his mind, he hoped he would be brave. He saw himself standing tall, explaining to Emma just what he was feeling when his mom died. He saw himself being nothing but honest, hiding nothing, including his emotions. Yet, he also knew that talking about his mom was still difficult for him.

He was so young when she died, and he didn't quite comprehend what had happened. He didn't quite grasp how serious the situation with his mom and dad was. He didn't quite get that Liam would now be his parent and not his brother. He had been so confused that he never truly processed his emotions. So, whenever his mom was brought up, or his family for that matter, he got very quiet and sometimes a bit aggressive. He had been working on it the past few years, but he didn't want his past reflecting poorly on Emma. He'd worked hard to be the man she deserved.

He also wasn't quite sure what he was even going to say. How do you tell the girl who was once your best friend that you were pretty sure you were in love with her even though you hadn't spoken or seen each other in more than two decades? You really don't anyone who says that is a bloody fool and should be committed, he thought to himself.

He was pretty sure that was what he felt for Emma. There had to have been something between them, something that made him say no to almost every girl who had ever asked him out. There had to have been something that held him back from forming deep relationships with others.

He had only one other major relationship outside of his "marriage" with Emma and that didn't turn out well either, and something in the back of his mind told him it was because of Emma.

So there he was, with a few hours to go until his fate would be cemented, sitting in Liam's guest room, trying to find something to take his mind off of what might happen. Normally, he would find solace in a glass or bottle of rum, but he couldn't do that tonight. He didn't want anything clouding his mind.

For a few moments, he thought he could just scroll through Facebook. Sometimes that was distraction enough, especially if he found a video that could keep his attention. But it didn't seem to work today.

He found himself rifling through his small suitcase. He really was surprised at how much crap he had collected over the years. He had brought three suitcases with him when he came to Storybrooke, in addition to the 10 large boxes he sent to Liam ahead of time. Then he had a computer bag that was stuffed full, plus his carry on suitcase.

That suitcase he brought on the plane held his most precious memories. A box was inside that he didn't want to ever misplace. Sure, it took up more than half of the space in the suitcase, but he didn't want to chance it by sending it to Liam ahead of time or placing it in checked luggage. Plus, he used this box like a crutch and he couldn't believe he didn't think to get the box out earlier.

Emma used to be Killian's support. She used to be all he needed to feel better, but when he left, he knew it would need to change. His mom became his new crutch, but then she died. It seemed to him that everyone important to him was leaving or not around. He couldn't use Liam either, so instead, he used those old letters as his crutch.

When things went to shit or life was just getting to him, he reread those old letters. Those letters got him through multiple deployments, multiple hard nights, and some pretty tough years. Sometimes, he wished that he would have sent those letters. Maybe, if he had, Emma and he would be closer than they were and who knows, maybe they would have gotten together. But, at the same time, he was quite glad he had them at the moment.

The first letter in the box was the first one he had written after he stopped sending them to her. It was a letter he went back to time and time again, and kept adding to it. Once a year, on the anniversary of his mother's death, he would add to the letter. It went from being a few lines, in scribbly, horribly spelled and written words, to being a couple of paragraphs in detailed discourse about how he was feeling each anniversary.

Followed behind that letter were countless others. He started collecting these letters in an old shoe box. But, by the time he was twelve, four short years after he stopped sending them, he ran out of room and many of them were bent and stuffed. He rode his bike to the local post office and took a free box home with him. He laid quite a few of them out and under some large books Liam brought into the house to put them in pristine condition again. When he graduated and went into college, he invested in some storage boxes that would keep his letters perfect. One day, he did hope to show Emma the letters, but he also didn't want to expose himself that way.

That first letter he could read from memory. He didn't even need to look at the first couple of pages to know exactly what they said, yet he picked up and read it.

Hey Emma,

I wanted to say i'm sorry. I can't write anymore. I'm sad all the time. Ma is gone and I don't want to talk about it. I don't know what to say anymore. I know you loved her, just as much as I did. I don't want to make you sad by telling you. I don't want to be sad anymore. Please understand. I still miss you. I still wish you were here; I just don't want to make you sad. I don't want to hurt you, and I know a letter would. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

Love you,

Killian

Emma,

It's been a year since mom died. I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I know I haven't talked to you in a while, and I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with it. I don't want to disappoint you or make you mad. I know anything I say to you now would. But, you are still my best friend.

Love you,

Killian

The next couple of years had the same writing. Each year he kept apologizing for not talking to her. He kept saying how he wished his mom was there, or that she was there. He kept saying how he didn't want to hurt her with his news. He could almost hear the disappointment in his words. He could feel the embarrassment. He kept reading until he got until his current year, to the letter he wrote less than a year ago. They were coming up on the anniversary of his mother's death and it was hitting him harder than normal.

In the past couple of years, dealing with his mother's death had been a bit easier. The Navy helped. He had started attending church on base. He wasn't the most religious, and he questioned things quite often, but his mother loved church and was very religious, so he felt closer to her when he sat in the pews and listened to the sermons. He had also been spending a lot of time just walking around parks, taking in nature. His mother always said she felt closer to God when in nature. Since his mother loved it, he wanted to see if he felt closer to her there too. And he did. He felt his mother in every breeze and in every flower.

Emma,

It's hard to believe it's been so long since everything happened. There is still so much I wish I had done differently, yet at the same time, I know I did the right thing. Each year I tell you the same thing. I say how sorry I am that I lost touch, that I stopped writing, and each year I mean it. I wish I hadn't stopped writing, but I know that I could have never told you exactly how I felt all those years ago when mom passed away. I could barely process my own feelings, let alone process how to tell you what I was feeling.

I know you loved my mom almost as much as I did. I haven't been able to put myself through looking at all her treasured items, but I know there are just as many pictures of you in there as there are of me and Liam. She loved you like you were her own. That was part of the reason I could never get the courage to tell you she passed. I am sure by now you know. I know Liam talked to your mom when she passed, so I hope your parents told you. I hope you took it better than I did. I hope you know that she loved you and she is looking down on you, always your guardian angel.

It took me so many years to get over the anger I felt at the situation. To move away, right as mom fell ill, just for my deadbeat father was hard for me to deal with. Truthfully, I still blame him a bit for everything. I feel if he had stayed, or if she had let him go, that mom may still be here. I KNOW if we had stayed with you, stayed with your family, that mom would have been able to fight harder and longer than what she did. Just know, she did fight. She fought so hard. Looking back, I am so proud of her fight. She was so sick, yet she never gave up. She kept her faith and kept her happiness.

She used to talk about you all the time too, which was another reason I couldn't bring myself to tell you she passed. The relationship you both had was something I was at times jealous of, and I didn't want to be the one to break the news to you. I don't remember a whole lot from that time, but I do remember a story she told me when she first told me she was sick. I could tell something was wrong. Earlier she had fought with my dad and I thought that maybe he was hitting her, but I was so off. She sat me down and began to tell me a story of a knight.

I didn't know it then, but the story was about me. She spoke of a knight that had to leave home, even though he was devoted to a princess of his kingdom. You were that princess. We were so young, but I was so committed to you. At the time, it was just as a friend, but as the years how gone by, I see that those feelings have been deeper. You meant and mean so much to me, and I didn't know how to survive without you for so long. In fact, I probably still don't, as I still find myself writing to you, even though we haven't truly spoken in years. But, let's continue the story. The knight had to leave on a quest, even though he didn't want to leave the princess behind. The knight's quest was to take care of his family, who were in a battle-torn area of the kingdom. The knight was of course scared to leave, as he didn't want to go to war. But, my mother told me that the knight knew that he had to go, because he knew that the princess would still be there for him when he returned. The princess and knight were always meant to be.

That story has gotten me to where I am today. It reminded me of what we once had. When days are hard, when the nights are long, when deployments get to be too much, I think of that story. I know that we may not be as close as we once were, but the foundation is still there. I know that one day our friendship will be stronger than ever. We just need to get back what we lost.

I still miss mom every day. It is still really hard most of the time. Other than you, she was the most important thing to me. For so long, I felt so alone. All of a sudden, I didn't have anyone. Sure, Liam was around, but I couldn't really talk to him. It was hard, he was so much older, and lost just as much as I did, but it was different. The person I really wanted to speak to was you, but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't something I could write. I couldn't come up with the words. I couldn't convey the feelings. I really wanted to actually talk to you, but I couldn't talk about it at all. Liam tried to get me to talk, to anyone. He tried to get me to talk to him, which was just horrible. He tried to get me to talk to a relative, some distant aunt I have never really known. Of course that was just a train wreck. Then, it was a "professional" at school. He acted like he understood what I was going through, but he just came across pompous.

Nothing really worked, and it made me feel even more alone. It made the feelings I had had all along just more righteous. I had never wanted to leave Storybrooke. Of course, I keep saying it was because of you, but it was more than that too. Storybrooke was everything I had known. It was truly home. I felt alive there, understood, and safe. Ireland was different. I didn't feel alive there. Things seemed grey and dull. No one understood me once mom died. Liam tried, but it wasn't the same. Even our friends at school understood me better than he did. Yes, he's my big brother and I have always looked up to him, but understanding each other wasn't easy. I didn't feel safe there. It wasn't anything like, I was worried about my dad, but I was just worried that someone else was gonna die. I was worried that someone else was going to leave. In one year, I had lost you, my mom and my dad. I was worried I would lose Liam, or truly lose you.

So, again, here I am writing to you. Writing in hopes that one day, I can get the balls to tell you all of this. Once a year, I always feel a bigger twinge of regret. Regret that we lost touch, regret that I let my fears get the best of me, regret that each year I let time pass without talking to you.

When we do talk again, which I know we will again if not soon, then later, I hope I will be able to tell you all of this. I hope that I will be able to say it all. I hope that I can make it up to you one day. To be the knight my mom thought I was. One day, I promise, things will be different and I will be able to say all of this to you.

Love always,

Killian.

He could remember when he wrote that. He didn't believe that within a year, he would be on the verge of making his wishes come true. He read the last couple of paragraphs again, seeing his promises he made to her. Yes, he may not have actually promised Emma these things, but he felt he did. He felt he really did make the promise to the real Emma. It was what he felt each time he wrote to her. It felt like he was actually talking to her. He knew it was a little batty, but it helped.

He looked up at the clock and saw that he needed to leave or he would be late, and he didn't want to start off this new relationship with Emma on the wrong foot. He had decided that this was exactly that. It was a new start, a new relationship. He was going to really to prove to Emma that he was her knight in shining armor and they were meant to be. Yes, time may have passed, and sure, they didn't end things well, but they were meant to be.

He didn't even realize that he had gotten in his car and drove all the way to Granny's. He was too wrapped up in pumping himself up for seeing Emma. After reading that letter, he knew just what he needed to do. He knew he would need to do something to show her just how sorry he was and just how committed he was now to developing their relationship back up.

He parked outside and saw the yellow bug he saw her driving a few days ago. He could have sworn that it was his mom's bug. He didn't remember much from his childhood, but there were certain memories that were burned into his mind.

He looked at the clock and saw that he must have sped to the diner, cause he still had ten minutes before he needed to be inside. And while he was ready to go in, he was frozen to the seat. His nerves were suddenly overwhelming. He was truly scared of what might happen. He had been playing himself, thinking that his nerves would go away when the time got closer. He was a fool for thinking that the letters would help him truly get over all the fears he had.

His phone rang in his pocket.

"Hello," he answered.

"Get out of the car and go inside little brother," came his brother's voice from the other end.

"How did you know," he asked, not even bothering to say his normal comeback.

"I know you, Killian. You may have seemed confident when you left the house, but I knew by the time you arrived, you would be scared shitless," he explained.

"I don't know what happened. I was so excited when I left, I was pumped, but now I don't know if I can go through with this," he said, wariness laced his voice.

"You psyched yourself up too much. You always have. You were the same way when you graduated and went to OCS. You got on the plane all confident and cocky, and by the time you arrived in DC you were texting me that you thought you made a mistake. You are in your head too much," his brother rationalized.

"I can't help it. It's been years. I mean what if she doesn't forgive me? What if everything I thought was just a dream?" he questioned.

"Dude, stop it. You will never know unless you get out of that car and go inside. It's just Emma. I am sure she is still the same girl you once knew. Sure, time has passed and she's grown up, but in the end she is still that girl you knew. Remember, a man who doesn't fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets." His brother's words resonated deep.

He was right; the girl waiting inside was just Emma. Some part of her was still the same girl he had married under that old oak tree. Time may have passed, but their friendship could stand that test. And, if he wasn't willing to go in and talk to her, if he wasn't willing to really try and fix what he had done, then he deserved a life without Emma and a life that was filled with emptiness.

"Thanks, brother; I'll talk to you later," he said.

"Go get'em," he heard his brother say as they ended the conversation.

He took a big breath and got out of the car. He walked inside with a purpose. He kept chanting to himself, It's just Emma, It's just Emma. His nerves waved each time he said it. He knew when he walked in the door he wouldn't see the five year old girl he had once kissed under the oak tree, but thinking that a part of that girl would be waiting at their old booth got him through the door.

The bell jingled in an all too familiar way. It pulled him to the present. His eyes focused quickly to the back of the diner. The other senses of his body fell away. They were still there, in the back of his mind, but they weren't the focus. Any other day, he would have relished in the smell of the diner, like nothing had changed and the same oil was being used for the deep fryer. He would have taken in each and every word the patrons were saying. Instead, his eyesight trained to the back of the room and narrowed in on what he was most nervous about.

He could see blonde hair and a red leather jacket. The hair was flowing perfect. The color stood out and it looked like it had its own lighting. There was a girl standing at the booth talking to her who looked up when he walked in. Killian didn't really take her in, but could see Emma react to what she said.

Suddenly the woman in front of him took a very deep breath in. Almost like she was preparing herself for what was to come. Maybe she felt the same nerves that were racing through his veins.

He was glad her back was to him. It gave him a moment to gain his composure and turn his thoughts off in order to walk to her. The woman at the booth smiled at him as she turned to walk away.

It felt like hours passed as he walked towards the farthest booth. Each step echoed in his ears. With each step, his fate and destiny were getting closer and closer. More details of the woman who stayed seated with her back to him came out. He could see the depth of the red of the jacket she wore. He could see the highlights in her hair. He could see the different colors and how they interacted with each other. It was mesmerizing. He could see the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed in and out.

As he reached the booth, he turned to finally take in the beauty that sat before him and looked fate and destiny right in the eye. And what he saw didn't disappoint.

"Hello, love; long time no see."

#CSBB #captain swan big bang #CAPTAIN SWAN #captain swan fanfiction #CAPTAIN SWAN FF

60 notes · View notes

eggoreviews · 5 years

Text

Viddy Games Monthly #1 - February 2019

Is this really late? Sure Is!

Here's something new I'm trying! In this 'issue' (lol):

NEW RELEASES - A look back at everything exciting that dropped this month, from Resident Evil 2 to the new 2D Mario!

NEWS - January is usually pretty dry for viddy games, but there's some interesting stuff still!

Release dates, updates and more!

NEW RELEASES

Fitness Boxing (RD: January 4th - Nintendo Switch)

And here we have Nintendo’s first real attempt in this console generation to draw in the fitness crowd they catered to so well with the Wii. Except, Fitness Boxing feels a lot more technical and niche than those other titles from a decade ago. Fitness Boxing’s main draw is teaching you how to improve your boxing form, meaning it’s definitely not one to play with the family unless you’re all die hard boxing fans. But if you’re less interested in picking up the technical aspects, Fitness Boxing works just as well as a fitness companion, coming packed with its own motivational trainer (I haven’t picked this game up purely because it would feel like I’m cheating on the Wii Fit Trainer. Plus this basically dashes all hope of Wii Fit Switch so I’ll need to mourn that for a hot minute).

Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story + Bowser Jr.’s Journey (RD: January 11th - Nintendo 3DS)

As the 3DS reaches the end of its lifespan and its screentime in the Nintendo Directs gets shorter, this Mario & Luigi title could well be one of the last RPGs we see on the system. In this enhanced remaster, the worlds of turn based RPG and 2D platformer collide and, coupling this fact with some odd setpieces including Bowser’s literal stomach, also make for one of the weirdest games on the system. Despite this, there’s no doubt that it works. With the addition of the Bowser Jr.’s Journey expansion, there’s undoubtedly a wealth of content to explore here, especially if you’re new to this oddly charming RPG spin-off.

New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe (RD: January 11th - Nintendo Switch)

The latest in a long line of Wii U ports, Nintendo has bundled up Mario U and Super Luigi U and released it yet again on the Switch. This is by no means a bad thing, as we had yet to see a 2D Mario on the system, but the general consensus seems to be that the play time is much shorter than the price would have you believe. Of course, if you’re a die hard Mario fan, there’s no doubt you’ve already picked this up and it’s definitely worth a go if you didn’t have a chance to play on Wii U. Alongside this, new features include new playable characters and helpful items for if you’re like me and are terrible at platformers (I welcome these changes). But really, I think the talk of the town was the fact they patched in Blue Toad before release when everyone got sad that he was absent. Thanks Nintendo.

Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition (RD: January 11th - Windows, Xbox One, PS4, Switch)

An enhanced port with updated HD graphics to celebrate the 10th anniversary of this beloved entry in Bandai Namco’s Tales series. This edition comes packed with a beefy selection of new content, including all that was exclusive to Japan at the time of the PS3 port’s release. Generally, this game scored high at the time of its release, being cited as an interesting and unique JRPG that was made all the better by its trademark combat system that has been carried throughout the series.

The Walking Dead: The Final Season - Episode 3: Broken Toys (RD: January 15th - Windows, Xbox One, PS4, Switch)

Against all the odds, the critically acclaimed Walking Dead game series has somehow survived the closure of its creator, Telltale Games, continuing under Skybound Entertainment. The series continues to shine in critic reviews, which thankfully continues into the penultimate episode, Broken Toys. With a firm release date of the final episode being March 26th, we won’t have to wait long to finally witness the end of Clementine’s story.

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes (RD: January 18th - Nintendo Switch)

The third entry in the No More Heroes series has finally arrived 9 years after its second effort, though this time to mixed reviews. The gameplay fans of the series are used to has been totally overhauled this time around, instead throwing Travis into a possessed game console containing six wildly different, self-contained video games. This time, the gameplay is entirely from a top-down perspective. Some enjoyed this radical change of pace for the series, but other fans of Travis believed the drastic change was a little too jarring to enjoy in contrast to this entry’s predecessors.

Resident Evil 2 remake (RD: January 25th - Windows, PS4, Xbox One)

The highly anticipated remake of Capcom’s horror classic finally dropped this month, and let’s be honest, it’s everything fans wanted. The controversial move to ditch the usual fixed camera the early RE games are known for so the game could be built in Capcom’s home-grown Resident Evil 7 engine was what made the game so immersive and genuinely terrifying. With tons of gameplay tweaks, Capcom managed to tread the line between creating a fresh experience and staying faithful to the original game. Entirely different puzzle solutions, new dialogue and a whole new playable character in Sherry Birkin ensures that those who know the original inside out will still have more to discover, but the return of each horrifying boss and setpiece in glorious HD puts the nostalgia into overdrive. Plus, the tofu block came back so really there’s nothing to gripe at.

Kingdom Hearts III (RD: January 29th - Xbox One, PS4)

Here it is. The game fans have been waiting 14 years for. The one that ties every character and confusing plot arc together and says ‘Merry christmas, Baymax is in this game now!’

With a few fan favourite worlds returning among a handful of new ones, Kingdom Hearts has finally launched itself into the current gen with a heartfelt tale of friendship and big hair. There really is very little to say about this, because we all knew it was going to be good.

Also out this month:

First person shooter Bright Memory released this month to positive reception, despite controversy around the stolen assets used by the devs.

Charming adventure game Vane dropped this month, allowing players to explore a beautiful world as a boy who can turn into a bird.

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown, the critically acclaimed combat flight sim series, released for PS4 and Xbox One, with some great VR content.

Life Is Strange 2 Episode 2 - Rules released this month, continuing the heartfelt tale of two brothers on the run

Gothic Indie RPG Sunless Skies released at the very end of January, showing a detailed focus on narrative and exploration

NEWS

What’s been happenin’? Probably a lot, but this is what I picked up on!

Metroid Prime 4 has gone a bit wonky

As everyone has probably heard by now, the long awaited Metroid Prime 4 has officially been halted and restarted, as announced in a commendably transparent video Nintendo published on their YouTube channel last month. Basically, they weren’t happy with how development was going so they’ve gone back to square one, this time with the help of past Prime developers Retro Studios. Honestly, this is a really good sign, as it shows how committed Nintendo are to creating a solid game to stand next to the other three. Plus, this makes a Prime trilogy switch port way more likely in my eyes, so hooray for that.

Piranha Plant got here early!

At the tail end of January, those who redeemed their plant boi codes turned on Smash and suddenly got the gratefully received ‘Piranha Plant joins the battle’ message! I can confirm I made a bit of a weird dolphin noise when I saw he’d turned up before the estimated February release. In another post, I’ll be breaking down his moveset in a bit more detail, so keep an eye out for that if you’re a fellow plant connoisseur!

Sony patents retro back-compatibility for PS5?

A new patent Sony put through last month that they tried to sneak by us MAY hint at retro back-compatibility for their next system, spanning all four of their home consoles. If this news is true, this could give Sony a massive edge in the next console gen, as remasters and retro games become increasingly popular, as well as the fact that people are unlikely to want to leave the considerable PS4 library behind. So at the very least, we can hope for PS4 games to be playable on the PS5.

Cross platform achievements could be a thing!

A since removed GDC listing teased the possible integration of Xbox Live onto iOS, Android and, interestingly, the Nintendo Switch! At a base level, this would very probably mean that achievements between these two consoles would be cross compatible, or at least viewable on either console. While nothing is confirmed just yet, this could be a sign of the growing partnership between Microsoft and Nintendo.

Nintendo is really lovin’ their mobile games!

With Switch sales beginning to level out ever so slightly, Nintendo seems to be turning to the mobile market. A mobile Mario Kart was announced a couple of years ago, but now it finally has a name, Mario Kart Tour. It’s now slated for a Summer 2019 release. Alongside this, Nintendo have announced Dr. Mario World for mobile, as well as rumours bubbling under that Dragalia Lost could be seeing a localised port for Canada and Europe.

New Nintendo Selects for the States!

Super Mario Maker, The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D and Star Fox 64 3D have arrived in America as Nintendo Selects, thankfully proving that Nintendo aren’t quite willing to let the 3DS die just yet. Not to be that guy, but Majora’s Mask over in Europe as a select would be pretty great. Pls.

Indie Highlights

And finally, Nintendo has dropped another Indie Highlights on us, featuring the likes of Wargroove, When Ski Lifts Go Wrong, Forager and the (long awaited?) Goat Simulator port. Worth a look if you’re looking for something a little wackier to play this month!

That’s all the headlines for this month!

FREE VIDYA

Are you subscribed to whatever online service your console has? Then oh boy, you got some free stuff!

NES Nintendo Switch Online - Blaster Master & Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

This month, Nintendo added the ever wonderful and upsettingly hard Zelda II to their retro lineup, along with lesser known run-and-gun platformer Blaster Master.

PlayStation Plus - Steep & Portal Knights

It’s a good month for snowboard enthusiasts over on the PS4 this month, as Ubisoft’s open world sports game Steep joins the lineup. Alongside this, the artistically charming RPG Portal Knights was free last month. January also marked the final month of PS Plus support for the Vita and PS3, with Fallen Legion: Flames of Rebellion & Super Mutant Alien Assault joining the Vita lineup and Zone of the Enders HD Collection and Amplitude free for PS3 owners

Xbox Game Pass

January was a hecking good month for members of the Xbox game pass, with the entire Life Is Strange saga joining the service, along with other quality games such as Just Cause 3, Farming Simulator 17, Absolver, Aftercharge and ARK: Survival Evolved.

RELEASE DATES

Yoshi’s Crafted World

Nintendo released a story trailer for Yoshi’s creative new outing, showing off Baby Bowser and Kamek as the game’s villains. The release date set for this uniquely cardboard platformer is March 29th, so fans won’t have to wait long!

Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn

Breathing new life into the 3DS is this enhanced port of Kirby’s Epic Yarn, which originally released on the Wii in 2010. Featuring all new content that wasn’t available the first time around, fans of the Kirby series will be able to pick this up from March 8th.

Final Fantasy remasters

After the exciting announcement in September that beloved Final Fantasy games would be coming to other consoles in 2019, Square Enix have finally announced release dates for a couple of these titles. Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster will hit the Switch and Xbox One on April 16th, while Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age arrives on both of these consoles on April 30th.

RUMOURS

Welcome to probably the most controversial segment of this, the rumour-y bit! Just a pre-warning that nothing talked about here is by any means confirmed, so keep your expectations tempered.

SNES for Switch Online?

A recent datamine into the NES Switch Online app has apparently revealed a list of 20 SNES games in the code that could be coming to the system in the future, including Mario World, Kirby Superstar, A Link to the Past and Super Metroid. I’m hesitant to say this is true because nothing has been said on Nintendo’s end yet, but considering the lack of content for Switch Online as of yet, I’d say it’s fairly likely in any case. If this is true, we can all hope for DK Country and EarthBound also because pls Nintendo.

Smash Ultimate Fighter Pass Leak

There have been two notable datamines in the past month that could reveal our four remaining DLC fighters for Smash Ultimate. The first uncovered three names in the coding for the game, Plant (obviously referring to Piranha Plant), Jack (Likely Joker from Persona 5) and Brave (Speculated to be Erdrick from the Dragon Quest series). The reason why Brave is so heavily speculated to be Erdrick is because, in Japan, the hero class Erdrick belongs to in Dragon Quest is called ‘Yusha’, which translates to brave in English. Alongside this, one of the heads of development for Smash Ultimate, Shinya Kumazaki, recently posted a photo of the iconic shield from Dragon Quest with the caption ‘the brave’s shield’, which naturally sent the internet into meltdown. Personally, I think Erdrick is pretty much a dead cert for the DLC roster at this point, especially after that Instagram tease.

Thanks for reading!

In the next issue, most likely in the first week of March, I’ll be reviewing the likes of Jump Force, Metro Exodus, Far Cry New Dawn and Anthem, plus giving you a rundown of anything game-y that happens in February! Plus, the new game of the month feature will begin next time, as I explain my choice for January’s best game. Have a fun day. Stay hydrated.

3 notes · View notes

meetthetank · 6 years

Text

Bestiam

So yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of one of my personal favorite fic’s I’ve written. It’s been a hell of a year in this fandom and the time I’ve spent and friend’s I’ve made here mean a lot to me. Thanks to all you nerds and I hope the next year is just as amazing!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907945/chapters/26905050

Rating: Explicit (the first chapter is only M though) Category: F/M Fandom: NieR: Automata (Video Game) Relationship: 2B/9S (NieR: Automata) Characters: 2B, 9s, Original Machine Additional Tags: Suspense, Hallucinations, little bit of eldritch nonsense, bloodborne references, Biting, they do the fuck, Power Struggle

Chapter 1: Insight

"And that's the long and short of it." Operator 6O says in an uncharacteristically somber tone, "The troops deployed in the sewers and both recovery teams have disappeared. You two are the last chance for them...if they're still alive."

"Understood," 2B responds, before she closes the communication channel.

"I did a little asking around the Resistance Camp and Pascal's," 9S says while flipping through a couple holo-screens. "Apparently there have been reports of a rogue machine in the depths. Think it could have something to do with the missing androids?"

"Even if it doesn't, it means we'll have to be on our guard. More than usual."

9S nods in agreement. A vague feeling of uncertainty starts to worm its way through his gut, though the soldier part of him tries to force it down. Not only have the complex network of tunnels and pipes left by humanity not been properly mapped out, but there could be an untold number of unrecorded machine life forms lurking within. There were too many variables for 9S to feel comfortable with this operation.

However, his programmed curiosity is at odds with his discomfort. There are so many opportunities to learn and discover down in the uncharted sewers. New machines to study, a whole new maze to explore. It's both exciting and terrifying to him.

2B doesn't seem bothered by the unknowns that 9S is running through his mind. To her, this is just another job that will probably end with dead Yorha troops. That and she's very much the "figure it out as you go" type. Maybe that's why they made such a good pair.

She casts a quick glance over at 9S, who's busy making sure they have enough supplies for the mission. Typically she's the unofficial leader, but this is his specialty. They're diving into enemy territory, a scanner's main job. She's only some extra muscle.

"Okay, I think that's everything," 9S announces and disperses his screens. "Ready?"

She gives him a curt nod, "Are you?"

"Am I allowed to say I'm a little nervous?" A sly smile creeps across his face, "Or is that prohibited."

"It is." 2B can't help but smile back at him. Just a small upward quirk of the lips, but he catches it all the same.

"Oh? So you can/ smile!" 9S teases.

She scoffs and turns away from him, "Watch the chatter, 9S."

He throws his hands up, "Alright alright. Let's get going then."

"Lead the way."

The pair had no trouble finding the entrance to the depths with 9S tracing the Yorha signals. In retrospect, it wouldn't have been hard to find without tracing anything, seeing as it's nothing but a massive hole in the earth decorated with machine and android corpses. Whether nailed to the stone or impaled on crude rebar pikes, it was an unceremonious end to machine and android alike. They frame the mouth of the cavern in a way that reminds 9S of the teeth of some great beast. It almost seems...alive. The way some of the fresher bodies drip with various fluids only adds to his analogy.

"Well..." 9S says, swallowing hard, "Whatever lives here definitely doesn't want visitors."

He commands Pod 153 to scan the android corpses for the Yorha signals they're searching for. Unfortunately, the bodies are those of long dead Resistance members and Yorha troops. He records their data and location for the recovery teams regardless.

"It'd be too easy if our missing androids were right out here." He says to himself. "Just our luck, huh 2B."

He prepares for her to chide him, but gets nothing in response. When he looks over his shoulder in confusion, he sees her staring intently off to the side. She holds Virtuous Contract in her iron grip but isn't in her typical battle stance. 9S follows her gaze to see a lone machine dragging the corpse of a larger machine towards them.

"AAH!" The little machine shrieks, once it takes notice of them "NO! LEAVE! BAD PLACE! BAD!"

It hobbles over, abandoning its haul and waving its thin arms at them, "STUPID ANDROIDS!! DON'T YOU SEE THE WARNINGS I MADE?!"

"Huh?" 9S lowers his own sword, "You did all this?"

"YES! FIND BODIES TO SCARE AWAY! BROKEN MACHINE LIVES THERE. TAKES EYES. VERY BAD!"

"What do you mean it...takes eyes?" 2B asks the shouting machine.

"TAKES EYES, STUPID ANDROID! LIVES IN SEWERS AND TAKES EYES!"

Though cryptic, the machine's words do strike a bit of fear in 9S. He hadn't heard of a machine that only collects certain parts of androids and machines. Sure there was the singing machine in the amusement park they had seen, but that one took the whole corpse. Why in the world would a machine want only eyes?

The way the small biped in front of them is screaming and babbling at him and 2B means that it's at least heard of whatever's in there before. Though it doesn't seem too keen on sharing information other than "it's dangerous."

9S puts a hand on 2B's shoulder and tugs her in the direction of the cave, "Come on, 2B. This guy's clearly missing a few screws. We can handle whatever's in there."

"Right." She responds and sheaths her sword.

"STUPID ANDROIDS ARE GOING TO DIE!" The machine screams at them as the pair enter the dripping maw of the cave entrance.

Past the grim warnings out front, for all 9S could see, it was a completely natural cave. No signs of blasting or boring from any source, machine or otherwise. A small stream leads from deeper within out to the entrance, and moisture drops from barely formed stalactites. The air even in the entryway is humid and thick to the point where both androids begin to sweat lightly.

The Pods illuminate the cave with their admittedly primitive lighting feature, but it's welcome nonetheless. Going deep underground cuts them off from the satellite maps, and sonar can only get them so far. They'll have to rely on 9S' navigational abilities to keep on their path. It's easier said than done, however. The natural cave system alone is complex, let alone the man made and unnatural structures they'd be encountering down here.

About five miles down they find their first body, crushed under a pile of rubble. Only their upper body was still intact, the rest was flattened beyond any repair. Their fingers were partially buried in the earth in a panicked attempt to free themselves. Part of the ground underneath them was darker than the rest, where they had bled to death most likely.

"Yeesh..." 9S mutters to himself, "What a terrible way to go. Trapped alone just waiting to die..."

He forces that line of thought away with a shudder before his nerves get the better of him. "I'm going to hack into them and see if they have any information left on our targets, or whatever's living down here." He says with a hint of trepidation.

"Alright, I'll cover you," 2B states, taking a defensive position behind him.

9S sits cross legged in front of the corpse. It's a bit unnerving to him, having the lifeless optics stare back at him, but a quick look back at 2B helps him regain his composure. If only a little.

"Okay, hacking in."

With no systems online, accessing the dead android's data is pathetically easy. However, this android, an older Resistance member judging by their ID code, had been dead for quite a while now. There are huge gaps in their memory data from time alone, and more from the damage they've taken. The stark white of their hacking space crumbles away into the darkness around him. 9S scours through the fading memory space as fast as he can, looking for the dead unit's last memory. Or something close to it at least.

He finds the partially corrupted memory of an empty stretch of a sewer. The location data was for an area roughly 3 and a half miles below where they are now, and the time stamp only an hour or so before their death. 9S accessed the static riddled memory before he thought too hard about what he might find.

"STOP! G-GET AWAY FROM ME!!"

The android's voice echoes against the concrete tunnel. 9S can feel their heart thundering in their chest and synthetic adrenaline coursing through their veins. With quaking hands, they aim their assault rifle at...

Nothing?

The sewer is empty aside from them. The memory shows no other being, no android, machine, not even animals. Yet they're horrified at the sight of something in here.

"NO! It-...it's not you!! It can't be!! Stay the hell back!!"

They open fire into the darkness. The recoil from their firearm combined with their already shaking body throws the bullets wildly off course. 9S winces from how loud the gunshots are, even in a corrupt memory. The bullets harmlessly embed themselves in the concrete, spraying chunks of the stuff as they land. The flash of gunfire illuminates the sewer, but just like before, there's nothing there. 9S closes out the memory as the dead android flees from their imaginary pursuer.

"Find anything?" 2B asks as 9S stands up.

"Not really. Found a memory of them screaming and shooting at nothing but that's it." He responds, dusting off his shorts.

"An invisible enemy?"

"Possibly. I don't like it either way." He mutters, rubbing his chin in thought. "We should stick together and stay on guard."

She nods, "Pod, alert us if you detect movement besides ourselves."

"Affirmative,"

9S instructs his Pod to do the same. If they were dealing with something that had camouflage abilities then they'd have to take every precaution they could. He sticks close to 2B as they descend further into the caves, and to his surprise, she actually follows his lead. He can't help but smile a little bit. She trusts him, at least enough to get them from point A to point B.

A half mile down, they come to a dead end path with a hole blown in the floor. Pod 153 shines its light down to reveal a smooth concrete tunnel with a steady stream of what appears to be water running through it. 9S covers his face when a putrid smell hits him full force.

"Ugh,...I think we found the sewers." He says through his hands.

He's about to ask 2B if she's doing alright, but she's already jumping down the hole by the time he's done talking.

"Hey, 2B! Slow down!" He shouts.

"...Area secure." She says back to him, and motions for him to follow her.

9S mutters something about reckless combat models before jumping after her. The moment he touches down, he becomes painfully aware that this liquid is not water. It's some kind of viscous, off color sludge that sticks to his boots. Between that, the smell, and the air that grows thicker the more they linger, he almost gags.

"Come on," he says, "The trail leads just a little further down."

The sewers made both androids wish for the caves again. The air alone felt like a physical object resisting them, not to mention the liquid of dubious origin they had to trudge through at points. Not counting those factors, 9S felt...uncomfortable. Like there was something crawling under his skin. Occasionally he finds himself scratching at his arms or the back of his neck before he realizes that he's just imagining it. ...Or is he? Shadows seem to shift right in front of his eyes, he trips over debris he could have sworn wasn't there a second ago, and sometimes he thinks he hears an odd sound he can't quite place the source of.

In the middle of one of his scratching fits, he looks back at 2B. She's not doing much better than he is. Her breaths are labored, and she can barely hold her sword up. He can see her trying, and failing, to keep her normal posture.

"Hey, do you need to take a break? We've been going for a few hours now." He asks.

2B shakes her head. Of course she does. "No. No point in prolonging our mission here."

Well, he has to agree with her there. "Yeah, I guess. I don't want to be down here any longer than we have to. This place doesn't feel right."

She's about to respond to him when something catches her eye. Without a word, 2B strides past 9S to another dead android. This one was lying face down in the sludge, naked and mostly decomposed. 2B reaches down to flip them over, and 9S nearly leaps backward at the sight.

They're empty.

A huge hole exists where their abdomen used to be, completely cleaned out of any internal systems, fluids...all of it. They're just a husk.

"God..." is all 9S can say. He's seen a lot of gruesome things in his life, but nothing as...eerie as this. What kind of creature leaves shells of their victims like this?!

"9S...look at their skull." 2B barely whispers.

"....Their eyes. They're gone."

It's not just that. Upon closer inspection, 9S finds that all of their optic systems are gone. Unceremoniously ripped from their head to boot, if the frayed and torn wires are clue enough. As if to add insult to injury, 9S finds multiple other holes bored into the skull for seemingly no other purpose than to see what was inside.

"It looks like...whatever did this started rummaging around in their head after taking the eyes. All their systems are just...scrambled around. I can't make sense of what anything is supposed to be anymore." He muses while examining the dead android.

"I guess hacking into them is out of the question," 2B mutters, gripping the pommel of her sword a bit tighter.

"Yeah. I can't hack into systems that just...aren't there anymore. No memory, no data storage. It's all either irreparably damaged or missing entirely."

She hums a quiet response, then suddenly taps his shoulder. "9S, do you hear that?"

"What?"

He almost misses it. It's a faint, but bone chilling sound. The more he listens to it, the more fear seizes his heart for reasons he can't quite explain. 2B seems to be having the same feeling as well, the way she stares dead ahead though there's nothing but sludge.

It's almost like...a song?

As quick as he places it, it disappears, leaving the androids with an eerie silence.

"...Let's keep going." 9S says, making 2B jump a little at the sudden noise. "The trail ends not too far from here."

The further down the pipe they go, the thicker the air becomes. Simply breathing becomes a taxing chore for both androids, as if there's a crushing pressure on their chests. They're sweating profusely, which only serves to weigh them down further with their clothes clinging to their bodies. A dense fog begins to form, obscuring their vision and rendering the lights from the Pods all but useless.

There are multiple points where 9S puts his foot down and forces 2B to stop and catch her breath. Despite protesting, she complies without hesitation. Both of them start to cough up contaminants that accumulate in her lungs every so often in the form of a sickly beige gel. 9S dreads the hours of maintenance the two of them will have to undergo to clean out their systems of garbage.

They've lost track of time, but after what feels like hours they come to the end of the signal trail. And the end of the sewer system.

"Whoa..." 9S breathes, taking in the sight before him.

All the sewers converge on this one point, dumping their contents into an impossibly huge cesspool. Clouds of steam and gaseous chemicals rise from a lake of fetid liquids, filtering what little sunlight could be seen from the cracked ceiling miles above them. Dead goliaths rise out of the bog like grim spires amongst countless other machine, android, and animal corpses. Refuse, millennia old fluids and festering bodies all intermingle in this defiled pit at the bottom of the world.

Even 2B, impulsive and borderline reckless 2B, hesitates at the edge of the pipe.

"Alert: Target IDs nearby. Proposal, use dynamic scanner program." Pod 153 announces.

9S takes as deep a breath as he can, "Well...let's get this over with." He takes hold of his Pod's claws, "Stay within sight of each other. There could be anything hiding in there."

They jump into the cesspool together, and for a brief moment, 2B clutches 9S' hand before they drift apart from each other. She lands on a somewhat stable sheet of corrugated steel, while 9S lands right in the muck. Sludge splashes against his thighs and settles a little above his knees. The fact that it's warm nearly makes him vomit. The fact that he's standing knee-deep in the dead, does.

He feels 2B's hand on his shoulder while he's in the middle of a coughing fit. If he were more coherent he might have been bashful about it. For now, all he can muster is a quiet "thank you."

"Guh...how are you holding yourself together like this?" He grumbles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"...Barely. I'm trying not to think about it too much." 2B mutters after a harsh swallow.

Once 9S recovers as much as he can, the two begin searching through the mire for the missing androids. They're never out of sight of each other, and both are constantly throwing glances over their shoulder to make sure nothing drags them away.

2B tries not to let the sight of the thousands of eyeless bodies unnerve her, but even she hasn't seen anything as horrifying as this before. She's a combat veteran, one who's suffered through years of war, done terrible things to the ones she cares about. Yet this scene fills her with a dread that tears through the pits of her stomach. A deep breath calms her shaking body and briefly strengthens her resolve to continue the search.

"Alert: Abnormal movement detected." Pod 042's voice echoes through the pit.

Her head whips to the side just in time to see a set of long tendrils disappear into the muck a good distance away from her. "9S...did you see that?"

"Yeah, I did." He calls back, "Guh, tentacles...Why did it have to be tentacles?"

2B draws her sword and wades towards where she saw the creature disappear. Every movement, even the bursting of a bubble in the muck, earns a response from her. Despite her efforts, the fear of this unknown monster is getting the better of her. They didn't even know how big it was, let alone what it could be capable of.

She begins to hear things; faint whispers in the putrid fog. Though she can't decipher words, she's drawn to them. Something in the back of her head itches as she approaches the last place she saw the fading ripples of the creature. The world warps around her, not in the static she associates with malfunctioning systems, but in waves and shifting planes that threaten to topple her.

There's...someone singing. Who are they? Why are they down here?

"Hey, 2B!"

Her head snaps up at the sound of 9S' voice. Somehow, he made it further in front of her, standing near an open pipe at the edge of the pit. "Over here! I've found another signal trail!"

"Alright. On my way." She calls back to him.

Though it does little in the way of alleviating the dizziness, she shakes her head. Perhaps it's just reflex at this point. The itching in the back of her head grows more troubling to the point where scratching at it is a primary focus. But looking at 9S...somehow, she has no idea how, it calms the urge.

She has to get out of this god forsaken place soon.

2B follows the sound of his voice and descends further into the bowels of the sewers.

"2B. I found a few of our missing signals, but-"

9S' head whips around, searching for 2B.

"Huh? 2B? Where did-...2B?"

He catches a glimpse of her white hair disappearing down a tunnel at the far side of the pit, nearly half a mile away.

"Wh- hey!!" He fights against the thick sludge trying to run to her. "2B!!"

"Where the hell does she think she's going?!"

2B kicks her boots against the tunnel walls, splattering them with what little sludge will come free from her legs. 9S urges her to hurry up from around a bend in the pipe, and she can't help but note the odd role reversal. Usually, it's her pushing him forward when he just wants a break. There's a twist in her stomach, but she refuses to give it a second thought as she catches up with 9S.

He's always three steps ahead of her, it seems. Every time she rounds a corner to meet him, he'll be down further in the pipe chiding her for being too slow. Every time she thinks she's caught up to him, he's moved impossibly far impossibly fast. She can't even stop to examine the...things she's spotting on the walls. Not between 9S' constant goading and her own desire to get the fuck out of here.

Something inside her head feels...wrong. Pod 042 isn't warning her about potential logic virus corruption, or malfunctioning systems. In fact, Pod 042 hasn't been saying much of anything since she left the pit. The only thing she can really hear besides 9S calling out to her is this quiet ringing. It makes her stomach churn when she focuses on it.

"2B! Come on it's just down-...GAH!!"

Her heart drops when she sees 9S' legs fly out from under him and his body fall down a gap in the tunnel floor. She doesn't even shout his name, she only allows herself a sharp intake of breath before charging after him and jumping down the hole without hesitation.

She neglects to grab onto Pod 042's claws to slow her fall, she didn't think she had to at first. From the top, it only seemed like a ten-foot drop, but she falls for what seems like an impossibly long time. The world stretches out around her, the features of the cave walls grow blurry. The itching in the back of her head grows in intensity until it's she has to fight the urge to rip out her hair while falling. She hears a droning noise that's similar to her Pod's voice over the rushing of wind, but can't understand what it's trying to tell her. Her vision grows dark with abyssal static, her body forcing itself into preservation mode the moment before she hits the ground.

.....

....

"...be!!"

"2B wake-...."

"2B please wake up!!"

She doesn't undergo the preservation mode rebooting process like she expects. Instead, she awakens to 9S straddling her hips and shaking her shoulders. The moment she opens her eyes, he pulls her into a tight hug and buries his face into her shoulder.

"Oh, 2B! You're okay!" He sobs.

She idly rubs his back, despite the confusion. "I'm alright."

9S has been touchy before, but this is pushing it even for him. Not that she's complaining about it. It feels...nice.

This...something's not right...

Once his sobs quiet, he reciprocates her touches with his own. His fingers ghost around the open back of her shirt, tracing the outlines of her synthetic muscles.

No, this feels wrong. Something's very wrong.

2B doesn't move, she sits there with 9S in her lap taking in the bizarrely intoxicating feeling of his fingers grazing her skin. She lets out a quiet sigh and leans into his touch. She never realized just how...warm he is

This isn't right, you need to move. Now.

"Mm....2B." He moans in her ear. His breath against her sensitive flesh causes a shiver to run down her spine. The hand that isn't on her back starts to creep up her leg, inching its way past her skirt.

"9S what-..."

No. No this isn't right.

The hand on her leg mirrors the one on her back, tracing the muscles in her thighs. She doesn't want to move, but she pulls herself back from his embrace. It's only now that she notices his visor is missing. With this clear view of his half lidded eyes, she can see the dark lust contained within them.

This is wrong. He doesn't...he's not like this...

9S shifts himself in her lap, and she feels his erection press against her leg. Her breath catches in her throat as a slurry of conflicting emotions threatens to overload her systems.

Something's wrong! He's not like this! You need to get out of here!

When she makes no move to touch him, he takes the initiative and starts rubbing himself through his shorts. He breathes a lewd moan into her ear as he grinds against his hand and her lap. She grits her teeth together, fighting back any reaction that threatens to break her resolve. His free hand runs up and down her shoulders, neck, and face. His finger hooks underneath her visor and pulls it off of her face, letting it sit around her neck.

This is wrong!!

2B can't move to stop him once he begins undressing, nor can she find the proper words to protest. She sits rigid and stiff as he moans her name while stroking himself. Her eyes roam up and down his lithe body, admiring the subtle muscles in his chest and legs. A dull ache works its way through her whole lower body. She wants to touch him, to hold him, but the battle within herself keeps her locked in place.

Wrong!!

His tongue hangs lewdly out of the side of his mouth, breath irregular, and hips rocking back and forth.

"2B...fuck me...please.."

She knows it's wrong. She knows full well the risks and repercussions of giving into...whatever is happening right now.

Wrong!!

But fuck it.

WRONG!!

She wants this.

/STOP!!/

She always has.

"Report: Black Box signal for unit 2B located. Marking on map."

9S didn't take the time to clean the gunk off of his legs. "...How could she get that far in such a short time?!"

His mind reels at the increasingly terrifying possibilities that his mind conjures. According to Pod 153, she had made it another half mile down before stopping where she is now, which means that either she started chasing something, or was grabbed. In the past she at least lets him know when she's about to charge after something. It's not like her to up and abandon him. So that leaves the latter.

...He has to hurry.

There's a point where the concrete pipes end, and a hastily carved out tunnel begins. The earth is scarred with irregular fractures, scorched stone, and bizarre claw marks. Something had bored its way through the bedrock itself to make its home here, and at this point, 9S wasn't sure if it was machine, animal, or some unholy hybrid of both. The streaks of blood and oil, or what he assumed to be blood and oil, pushed his already rising pulse rate further into dangerous territory. He was alone, save for his Pod, in an uncharted labyrinth that houses an unidentifiable creature that does horrible things to its victims.

If it wasn't 2B, he would have turned tail and ran long ago.

The faint echo of a wet, thick, scraping noise makes him stop dead in his tracks. He had not once encountered anything alive down here, but what he finds makes him wish it had stayed that way. A lone machine props its legless body up with one thin arm, and frantically scrapes and claws at a pool of mud and android parts with the other. Sparks fly out of where it's lower body would be, and out of the empty sockets that once held its eyes. Wires jut out from several holes bored into its head, which also occasionally give off sparks.

"Has someone...anyone...seen my eyes...?" It groans, "I'm afraid I've dropped them in a puddle..."

There's nothing resembling eyes in the pile of gore and mud the machine is searching through, though 9S doesn't look at for very long. He grants the suffering machine a quick end with Cruel Oath, before pressing onwards.

Don't think about it don't think about it. Just focus on finding 2B and don't think about it.

He tries his best to ignore the growing number of eyeless machines, and empty androids as he progresses. He tries his best to swallow the bile rising in his throat as he passes their bodies arranged in bizarre symbols. He shields his eyes from the symbols carved into the tunnel walls that make his teeth itch when he looks at them.

He can't help but stare in horror when Pod locates the rest of the missing androids.

"Alert: Missing Yorha rescue teams found. Marking location for body recovery."

They were here all right, what was left of them. Stripped of skin, skulls empty shells, and bodies strung up to a wall over a crude altar. Each one was manipulated in the same pose; one arm straight in the air, the other held out to the side. They surround a large carving of a rough star with a rudimentary depiction of an eye in the middle.

As he stares transfixed by this macabre display, 9S begins to hear the singing he thought he heard before. It's closer, louder this time; like it's being broadcast directly into his head. A distorted female voice sings a wordless lullaby that drags his heart to the ground. His shoulders slump, knees weaken, and breathing slows as he fights the urge to curl up in the mud and fall asleep. The song grows louder as 9S' body weakens.

It's melodic.

It's dissonant.

It makes him feel warm.

It fills him with unknowable dread.

It's beautiful.

It's horrific.

It should not exist.

The volume grows to the point where it causes 9S actual pain. He claws at his head, trying to make the pain stop somehow. Pod 153 drones a message that sounds like harsh static to him.

9S feels something crawl up the back of his neck and prod at the lowest point of his skull. It's only when he feels the skin give way, and the object slips underneath that he snaps out of his trance. Cruel Oath materializes in his hand when he whirls around to face his attacked, slicing through the mechanical tendril that had been probing his neck.

The monster towers above 9S, it's hundreds of glowing yellow eyes all focused on him. Its face is that of a normal machine life form, round and featureless aside from the eyes. Its body is where it deviates from its brethren. A mane of writhing tendrils sprout from the open back of its head and curl around a primitive rib cage made of jagged strips of metal. A thin, disturbingly flexible spine flows as its head twist and turns in hypnotic rhythms. It's disproportionately long arms reach out to him, cupping his face with thin claws. It gurgles unintelligible phrases while countless yellow eyes bore into 9S' mind.

It's tendrils begin to uncoil from around its rib cage to creep up his face. They prodded his skin, slick with a cold sweat, looking for a weak point to break through. There's a figure being held in its open chest by a few tentacles. The skin of their face bulges where tendrils writhe just below the surface. Stormy blue eyes partially obscured by white hair stare back at him, begging for help as a tendril forces its way into the tear duct. Their black skirt-

"2B!!"

9S snaps out of his fearful trance and wildly slashes at the machine's face. A few tentacles are severed as it leaps backward, screeching an unholy sound in pain and fury. It abandons 2B's body on the floor in a heap as it puts more space between itself and 9S.

He grabs 2B by her arms and drags her further away from the machine creature, propping her up against the tunnel walls. "Come on come on...wake up 2B.."

"Nine-...9S?" She groans, regaining her senses after whatever it was that monster did to her. "What...where are-"

"Okay, good." He interrupts with a sigh of relief. "Stay here."

9S stares down the machine monster, sword in hand and Pod at his side. His heart is thundering in his chest, and the roar of blood in his ears drowns out the shrieking monster and the horrible song it creates. The combat high sets in, replacing his fear with exhilaration.

So this is what 2B feels like when she fights.

The creature lunges forward with several claw swipes. Most of them miss as 9S dodges backward, but two slash through his coat and another grazes his face. He counters with a few well-placed swings of his own, severing components in its arms as well as several tendrils. It grabs for 9S' head, but he skids through its legs and slashes at its feet. Sparks fly as the machine tries to right itself and 9S takes the opening to attack the back of its head directly.

He unleashes a hacking barrage, but the moment he breaks through the initial defenses a horrid distorted wail rips through his systems. The sound rips through his body like a physical object as he holds back cries of terror.

"̧͙͍̳͎W̷̻̮͕̩E̡̳̼̣ ̹̦͓A͙͔̺Ṛ̺͜E̢̦̜̪͉͙̦̗ ̬̭͈̮B͕̥͙͜O̱̞͖̬̭͔̲R̯̪͈͝-͏͖.͖̪̯̖͝.̻̻.̨̼ͅ ̢̟̟͖̼͕̻ͅ ̶̺̜͈̞͙̬ ͍ ̳̲̹̩̦̣͝ ̲̻̟̺̠̫ ̖͢ ̵͉̝ ̢͙͚̝ ̻̻̩ ̬̩̙͞ ̳͎͚̰̥ͅ ̠̟̮̻̬ ͔̻͔͎̤̤͓͘ ͎͙̺͇ ҉̗̲̠͕̳̣ ̸ ͍͔̪͝ͅ ̝͖̻.̩̣̕.͚͖̳̱̫̘.̯̼̗̼͚̫͉-͉̗͕͉̗͓͠A̦͎͓̣̟D͉͉̯̠̮E͍̻͕̭̯͎ ͚̮͠M͓͝E҉N̨̙͙͚ ̥͕ͅB̴̹̙̱̻͖Y̝̘̭͘-̙̯̼͡ͅ..̜̰͖͚.͏̖̳͍̭̣̼ ͏̩͓̘͕ ̤̥̘ͅ ̟̭͉̫̮ ͙͈͍͙ ̝̫̩̱̬͎ ̣̼̩̜͜ ̶̰̟̤͕̘̩ ̤̭̭̙ ̼̮̻͓͉ ͖͍͓̖̲͔̥ ̙̲̝̼͡ ͚̤͕͔ ̜̟͉̺̰ ̡͈̗ ͢ ͉̟̹͍̭̱͓͘.̜.͘.-̝̥̮̼̹̬͖O͍̲͇̰N͈̤͍͙E̛ ͎̱͎͙̮̗͈B̨͉̦̙͍Y̤͇̼̟̠ ̡̬T͖̳̥͈ͅH̘̼̭E̻͔̠̙͡ ̛̯͚B̮̪͍̲͙͠L̹

̰̲̥̪͚ͩ̂̾̈́̚ ҉̠̬͍͚͇̜̩.̲̥̬̔̇̒͒.͎͉̣̺͕̱̻ͣ͑.̷͕̣̮̄̐ͭͪͯ̃͗.̛͑̌̽O͈͙̳̜̎̓̍̊͢Ụ̧͚͓̠̩̦̅̍̊̋R͐͠ ̴͓̠̳͑̾ͭ̌̽̌E̼̳͓͔͎͞Y̭̲͠-̵͈̝͔̼̈́̄͌.̡͓̺̙ͣͤ́͂̆.̴̄͗ͤ̑͑̈.̨ͧ͂̃ͩͬ.̢̊͂-̞̗̒ͨ͑̀ͩ̚̚Ỏ̬̟̹͉͉̲͔̑̓̆̒͠P͕E̸̞N̗͇̱̣͗

̸̵͑̋̀̍ͬ̎͐̒ͣ͆̕ ̽̎̇ͭ͊̑̾̏ͧ̒ͨ̃ͣͧ̎ͤͥ̃̑͢҉ ̶ͭͩ̉ͪͨ̂̋̎͢͜F̶̛ͣ̄ͯ̾ͥ̕E̵̵̸̛̽ͮ͐͐ͦ́̊Aͪͦ̈͊͆͒̐ͭͥ͊̍̔͂ͮ͋̃̎̕͟͟͠Ŗ̂ͯ̍ͥ̈́ͣͫ͢ ̸̶̛ͦͯͩͮ͌ͭ̑̿̅ͪ͒̿̚T̡̛̛͐ͧ̊͗ͩ͑͆ͦ̒͑͊̿ͧͪ̃̑̊ͣ̓͞H̨̛̆̐ͤͫͭͥ̓̓͌̒ͦ̏ͩ̈͠E̷͑̑͒ͮ͛͋ͬ̚ ͐́ͬͦ́̋ͥͧͭ̈́̊̿̂͋̄ͦ͢͡Ơ̵̶̛̆̃̔̍͋̂̀L̶̨͐͗̾̍ͫͥͨ͟D̷̨̛̿ͣ̈͑̂͌ͨ̆̋̽͛͒ͨ̿̓ͯ̈́͟-̶͛̏͊ͯͭͨ͌̏̓̉̅͑̔̊.͌͊͑̆̑̍ͧ̔͏̴̵̡.͋ͤ̆͌͟.̸̛ͨͫͣ͋̿̿ͤͭ̓̔̏ͣ̏ͫ̓̓̇͂͜.̿ͪ͆̐́͘̕͘͜-̴̊̑̎͆ͯ̓̾͢͠Dͯ̍ͣ̎͛͗̕͢͡͏.̸̢̛̀̾̉̈́́ͯͨ̅̇̃ͭ̾ͫ͑̌̅"̴͗ͭ͗̓̽̎͋͗̉ͥ̎ͭ̽/̸̵̡̄ͫ̎͂͂̈́ͤͧ̃̎ͦ̾͠

It's mane of tentacles shoot out and snag 9S' ankles while he's stunned, yanking his feet out from under him. His head cracks against the stone, and before he can react the creature is slamming his body against the tunnel walls like a rag doll. It throws him to the ground and pins it's clawed foot against his chest as tendrils wrap around his neck. 9S' finger scrape and grab at the mess of wires and machinery, but it's a futile endeavor as he feels his throat begin to collapse on itself. Each second its grip tightens, constricting the life out of his body-

A flash of white tears through the tendrils crushing his neck and another cleaves the machine's spine in two. The creature lets out a series of guttural shrieks before collapsing to the ground beside 9S. 2B stands above him, breathing heavily with sword in hand.

With the help of Pod 153, 9S tears the still writhing tendrils from around his throat, all while gasping for air.

"Th-thanks for the assist..." he sputters, throwing the last of the tentacles as far as he can.

2B gives him a curt nod but refuses to look at him. He notices just how red her face is, the rigidness of her stance, and the thin coat of sweat that covers her skin.

"...You okay?" She helps him up, but won't make physical contact longer than necessary. Once he's on his feet she backs a few feet away from him.

"Yeah, nothing too serious I think." 9S sniffles a bit and wipes the blood dripping from his nose with the back of his hand. "I've had worse... probably. What about you? What did that thing do to you?"

2B's hands curl into fists, "...I think it altered my sensory processors. Made me...hear things, see things, that weren't there."

"Alert: Unit 2B was seized by an unknown enemy and place in an uncontrolled state." Pod 042 announces, "Proposal: Return to the Resistance Camp to perform a full data overhaul and repairs immediately. There is a high probability of corruption by enemy logic virus."

9S fights the burning curiosity raging through his head. What was this machine lifeform? Why did it desecrate its victims like it did? What was the purpose of the altar? What did it make 2B see and how did it do that?

Why was 2B avoiding his touch and refusing to look at him?

He shook his head. This was neither the time nor the place to be thinking about any of that.

"Let's get the hell out of here."

UNIT DATA OBTAINED: WILLEM

#nier automata #2b #9s #2b9s #fanfic #Tanks fics

24 notes · View notes

little-writings · 7 years

Note

I love seeing your fics pop up in the Jumin tag, I always take the time of my day to read them! Do you think you could do a ficlet where MC gets amnesia and forgets about Jumin? (I guess you could say like a reverse situation of the fic Jumin getting amnesia, hhaha) Please and thank you!

Okay, so since I still really think that there is a lot that could come from amnesia fics I’m going to try something different that is probably not really thought of when it comes to these sort of fics.

I will be going with an idea brought up with the film Before I Go to Sleep, minus the whole horror aspect. I highly recommend the movie although it does deal with subjects involving traumatic experiences so please take caution!!!

With that being said, I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day! Thank you

———————————————————————————————————–

Morning drifted into your gaze as your lids flickered open, worry seeping as a sudden thought poured into your head.

This wasn’t your home.

Unfamiliar decorations scattered the room, photos of you and a man you didn’t recognize flowers you’d never chosen, and a window you’d never looked out of in your whole life.

But what horrified you more was the unknown arm blanketed around you, holding you close to whoever was next to you.

And as you turned your head, you came to meet him.

He was fast asleep, his breathing light and content, curly, messy strands of sooty hair sweeping about his features.

You gingerly lifted his arm from your own, swinging your legs over the bed and rising to your feet, staggering into what you thought was the bathroom, eyes widening as you saw what waited.

Spread across the wall was a mural.

A mural of photos of you and the mysterious man.

Pictures of you in a wedding gown, him embracing you as if you were his greatest treasure, both of you smiling and laughing.

Pictures of you and him cradled together on the sofa, out and about in a city you hadn’t recognized, the two of you at dinner, or simply just a photo of the both of you beside one another, never truly wanting to part.

And yet the only answer were the notes scattered beside them.

‘Jumin Han’

‘Your husband’

‘Elizabeth 3rd’

‘RFA’

You gawked at them confusedly, feeling as if you should be connecting some sort of puzzle but utterly dumbfounded as to how exactly do so.

You backed away slowly, gasping as you heard shifting from the bed, a light yawn escaping him.

“You’re up then…?” He murmured, glancing at you.

You didn’t answer, staring at him.

“You saw the photos, didn’t you? You know who I am?”

“I…I um…i-It says you’re my husband.”

He picked up two wedding rings from the nightstand, slipping one on and setting the other in your palm, revealing the inscription.

‘My heart will always travel with you’

“We’ve been married for little over eight years now.” He muttered. “This has been going on for three years of that.”

“What has?”

“Your memory loss.”

“W-Why?”

“There was an accident,” He replied. “It was our anniversary and I was taking you somewhere to surprise you, an eighteen wheeler ran a red light as we were turning and well…”

His voice drifted off, strained with the idea of having to bring it back up.

“I managed to shield you from most of the physical damage when the truck rammed into the side that’s how my injuries came to be.”

He lifted his right pant leg, revealing a prosthetic, slick and crisp metal modeling that of his other limb.

“It crushed my leg…” He confessed softly. “Aside from dying of blood loss, amputation was the only decision that was available…but it wasn’t even enough.”

“For what?”

“To save you.”

He reached out, wrapping his fingers on the side of your head, cringing for just a moment, as though remembering the blood and torn flesh that once peeled from it.

“Our car was slammed into others, and your head crashed through the glass…” He whispered, tears seemingly threatening to spill.”You were dead for almost thirty seconds at the hospital love…I thought you were gone…”

How many times had he been forced to retell this horrid tale to you?

How many times did he nearly cry?

How many times did he cry?

It hurt to think of that.

“Your brain can’t handle the trauma they told me…they said each day you’d revert to before it all…before you met me…the RFA…before you almost lost your life because of some silly surprise I had planned. A form of coping is what they call it.”

“You couldn’t have predicted that…i-it’s not your fault.”

He laughed weakly, ignoring the single tear that broke out.

“Still the same beautiful heart…” He hummed, smiling weakly. “What made me so lucky to have you I’ll never know.”

“How did we meet…?”

“I suppose I should tell you something happy after all this shouldn’t I?”

He stepped into the bathroom, beginning to change.

“It was accidental, to be honest. You were lead by a strange, anonymous number to the RFA chat room, and you took over planning for the Foundation’s party,” He answered. “As you were planning my father entered a catastrophe with his scandals, and I was dragged into it. When it started to take a toll on me I found comfort in you. You understood me, better than anyone ever had. I felt human with you, I still do.”

He came out, a polyester suit messily set up upon him, trying to compose himself as best as he could.

“You untangled the knots in my head, and the moment I met you I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,” He simpered. “All of my lives, if that sort of thing is true.”

“Even now?”

He nodded, certain.

“Even now.”

“Do I ever…do I ever remember anything?”

“You see a therapist that was recommended by our friend, V. He’ll call you in a bit when I’m gone for work and take you there.”

“Why don’t you take me?”

“I-I…I don’t drive anywhere anymore…I-I can’t be in cars anymore.” He trembled for a moment, snapping himself out of it as he tugged his collar. “I walk now. Typically V will too, but he simply enjoys the sun. You can ask for Driver Kim if you’d prefer.”

“No um..that’s fine.”

“I work at the C & R building, my father is the CEO, I’m sure regardless you at least remember the company?”

You nodded weakly, figments of the immense building in your thoughts.

“Yeah you guys are…wow really popular…” You sighed. “My mom loves-”

You paused, racing out into the hall, staring out at the grand penthouse before you.

“Oh my god…”

“You always did love the view,” He remarked, following after you. “Elizabeth 3rd should be around here somewhere if you’d like to say good morning to her as well.”

“I saw her name on the notes.”

“Yes she’s our cat, exceptionally stunning and amazing, only second to you,” He explained. “She did not like hearing that news.”

You scoffed, amused. “Where is she?”

“She likes to sleep in sun patches during the evenings but in the mornings she’ll be on the sofa usually. She used to sleep with us but the confusion in the mornings frightened her.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“It’s not your fault, you can’t help it,” He assured you, setting a delicate palm on your shoulder. “we all understand that. We’re just grateful you’re here.”

He led you to the couch, a television blank and reflecting, sets of tapes placed beneath it.

“There are some videos we’ve recorded over the years that you sometimes play,” He pointed out. “I don’t know if it’d jog your memory in any way but if you’d like to go on.”

“What’re they of?”

“One is our wedding, one is of our trips to…Greece I believe, and another is one of the RFA parties.”

He checked his watch, huffing gently. “I need to leave, but I’ll be back tonight, I’ll call you when I’m able but don’t hesitate to if you need to, okay?”

“Okay.”

He pressed a chaste kiss to your nose, waving goodbye before he left, the click of the knob being the last you heard of him.

And you were alone.

Until you heard a meow.

You peered down the sofa, seeing the luscious white cat look up at you, droopy eyes and little yawn.

You had enjoyed spending time with her, ensnared in the films that left you a mix of sorrow and butterflies erupting into your stomach as you held Elizabeth 3rd in your arms, only snatched away as your phone began to rapidly buzz in your pocket.

And while you didn’t recognize the number, you recognized the name.

You raised the phone timidly to your ear, waiting for him to speak first, unsure of what to say exactly.

“Hello? MC?”

“This is V…right?”

“Yes that’s me, I’m outside waiting for you. Are you ready to see your therapist?” He asked, kindness painting his tone. “Jumin told you didn’t he?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Do you want me to come up?”

“N-No, I’ll be down in a second!”

“Don’t worry, take your time, I’ll be waiting.”

He hung up promptly, soon seeing you rushing down confusedly down the stairs to meet him in the main hall.

“V-V?” You tapped his shoulder, shifting to you his gaze never quite meeting yours.

“MC?”

“Oh thank goodness it’s you!” You let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve been wandering around asking so many people.”

He chuckled. “You don’t change in the slightest do you?”

“I…I guess not.”

“It’s a good thing, you have a lovely personality.”

You furrowed your brow confusedly.

“Why’re you wearing sunglasses? It’s cloudy.”

He frowned for a second, suddenly realizing why you wouldn’t know.

“Oh, of course-I can’t see, I’m blind,” He grinned slightly. “I have been for awhile now, it’s gotten worse lately.”

“How bad…?”

“When we originally met it was blurred but it was something I could live with but now, it’s blending in, the colors are fading, and it’s…it’s less distinctive.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” He comforted. “Don’t worry about me, let’s take care of you.”

“Well, shouldn’t we take care of you too?”

“You’ve tried. I don’t want it.”

You didn’t know what to say.

So you didn’t say anything.

He hadn’t sounded upset, it was simply a matter of fact, the same compassion clear in his tone however dismissive.

Eventually, though, he did speak up again as you came to the therapist’s office, standing outside.

“I can go in with you, I don’t know whether or not you want the company.”

“I’d like to try to do it on my own.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you out here, you mind if I get some coffee or something?” He questioned. “I can pick you up something too if you’d like, though, I’m sure Jumin will want to take you to lunch afterwards.”

“Just some water would be fine.”

“Of course.”

And soon enough, you were in an office.

Your therapist had been an older woman, lines decorating her expression as blinking accompanied the eyes, her voice low and soothing.

She hadn’t said anything particularly surprising but she had shown you photos and videos of a time long since forgotten.

Videos of you excited and delighted surrounded by people you didn’t recognize.

People such as Yoosung, 707, Zen, and Jahee.

You were told they were your friends, also members of the RFA, having helped guide you along to bringing life to a party long since gone.

But you stared at them.

And felt nothing.

That could’ve easily been the word to describe your day.

Nothing.

You would forget it all in the end.

So did it even matter?

The only time you felt something was with Jumin.

Even at his mention you felt your heart bubble and threaten to burst, your stomach twisting into knots, a fuzzy delight inside of you.

First, it had been a call.

He had checked up on you, softening the moment he heard you, even despite the hints of sadness as you mentioned your confusion, only a reminder to a pain you couldn’t truly understand.

The second time had been lunch.

He had come with photos and video messages from Jahee and Mr. Han hoping you were safe and well, stories filling your head the whole time of the experiences you had with them.

And the whole time he held your hand.

He enveloped his own with yours, holding on as if you were a dream he never wanted to wake from, almost heavy to let go as you were forced to leave.

But you did come back together.

When his work had finished and evening dotted the sky with oranges and pink amongst the clouds he came home.

And you had been waiting.

You had come to the wedding video.

And you were crying.

You hadn’t really even realized you were, only figuring as Jumin rushed to your side, worried and baffled.

“L-Love what’s the matter? What’s…”

He couldn’t finish, glancing up at the screen to see the two of you exchanging vows, you yourself hardly able to finish before erupting into a nervous sort of laughter, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“I…I ruined everything.” You mumbled. “Didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I took all of this happiness from us.”

“You didn’t take anything from us, you couldn’t have helped what happened.”

“Why do you even still love me?” You pointed at the version of you in the tape. “I’m not them…I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Then why am I waking up every day to a stranger?” You cried, swallowing hard. “Why am I unaware of the person beside me every morning? I don’t know you when the next day comes Jumin! I can’t be who you married!”

“MC, look at me, please.”

You did, reluctantly.

He took your hands, running a gentle thumb over your knuckles.

And you felt the same feeling from him as you did at lunch.

A total and absolute desire to never let go.

“The first night, when you came home…after the…the accident…” He let out a shaky breath. “You saw me, and you started screaming. You jumped from the bed and started trying to run away. You tried to keep me away at all costs because you didn’t know me.”

“You…You hit me.”

You didn’t dare utter a word.

But your heart shattered.

“But now, you’re not scared anymore…you don’t run away. You listen to me, you talk to me, and you even-” He stifled a sob. “you even smile at me.”

“I don’t expect everything to go back to how it was, but I know that things are changing, they’re getting better.”

“Jumin-”

“I understand you may never wake up one day and remember everything from yesterday, and I will have to tell you the same story each time, and hope for the littlest of things. But I also understand that you’re still you. No matter what, each and every time I see you I see the person I am desperately in love with.”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“You do darling, you deserve that and the whole world.”

He stood up, helping you to your feet.

“You don’t have to remember everything right away, but until you do, even if it’s a second a day, I’m going to be here, with you. And I’m going to help you through it.”

He wiped the tears emerging from your gaze, hiding his own as he embraced you.

“P-Promise?”

“I promise.”

And perhaps finally, you weren’t so afraid of tomorrow.

For you know, he would still be there.

And he always would be.

For one day, you would wake up to him in the morning.

And you would remember how much he truly adored you.

455 notes · View notes

sunshineweb · 4 years

Text

Thinking, the Einstein Way

Value Investing Almanack: 5th Anniversary Offer: Value Investing Almanack, our premium newsletter that subscribers call “the best resource on Value Investing in India” recently completed its 5th year, and is now back in a new avatar, and packed with even better content. Click here to know more, pay your price, and join now.

Here is some stuff I am reading and thinking about this weekend…

Book I’m Reading – Who Moved My Cheese I read this little book multiple times before quitting my job to start work on Safal Niveshak in 2011. It is about, well, coping up positively with change. Who Moved My Cheese illustrates the simple fact that change will happen, whether we choose to accept it or not. The defining factor is how we deal with it; whether we allow ourselves to change or insist on staying the same.

The story involves four characters who live in a maze: the mice Scurry and Sniff, and two little people named Hem and Haw. They find a huge source of cheese in the maze. Hem and Haw move their houses to be near it and the cheese becomes the centre of their lives. But they do not notice that it is getting smaller, and are devastated when they arrive at the site one morning and find the cheese is gone. Having built their lives around the big cheese, they feel they are the victims of fraud. Yet this only makes things worse, as their clinging on ensures that they go hungry.

The mice Scurry and Sniff, on the other hand, quickly accept the loss of the cheese and go off into the maze in search of other sources. For them, the solution is simple: the situation has changed, so they must change.

The fable captures that moment and experiences we are all familiar with i.e., sudden, unexpected change. The author’s message comes out loud and clear and that is that instead of seeing change as the end of something, we must learn to see it as a beginning. Like, to make himself accept reality, Haw writes this on the wall of the maze –

If you do not change, you can become extinct.

Another of my favourite quotes from the book is –

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

And finally, here’s an advice from Haw that has helped me immensely at various stages of my life –

Sometimes, Hem, things change and they are never the same again. This looks like one of those times. That’s life! Life moves on. And so should we.

Idea I’m Thinking – Visual Thinking Here’s a note from Ashlee Vance’s biography of Elon Musk…

Visual thinking, which is a way to organise information in a visual way or to see words as a series of pictures, is a great way to understand complex or potentially confusing information, and also a way to organize your thoughts and improve your ability to think and communicate.

As a 15 year old, Albert Einstein dropped out of school because his teachers didn’t approve of visual imagination for learning, skills which became fundamental to his way of thinking. “Imagination is more important than knowledge,” Einstein would say.

“When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing knowledge,” Einstein explained later in his career. He added, “I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.”

In Seeing What Others Don’t: The Remarkable Ways We Gain Insights, Gary Klein writes –

At the age of sixteen, Einstein began to conduct thought experiments about beams of light. These thought experiments were mental exercises that helped Einstein appreciate properties of light and also helped him notice anomalies and inconsistencies. Einstein imagined different conditions and possibilities, pursuing these speculations for ten years.

Imagine someone talking to you, and starting with the word – “Imagine…” You are completely hooked, isn’t it?

Consider this excerpt from Richard Feynman’s The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, where his father helps him visualize about dinosaurs –

We had the Encyclopedia Britannica at home and even when I was a small boy my father used to sit me on his lap and read to me from the Encyclopedia Britannica, and we would read, say, about dinosaurs and maybe it would be talking about the brontosaurus or something, or tyrannosaurus rex, and it would say something like, ‘This thing is twenty-five feet high and the head is six feet across,’ you see, and so he’d stop and say, ‘let’s see what that means. That would mean that if he stood in our front yard he would be high enough to put his head through the window but not quite because the head is a little bit too wide and it would break the window as it came by.’ Everything we’d read would be translated as best as we could into some reality and so I learned to do that – everything that I read I try to figure out what it really means, what it’s really saying by translating.

Then consider how Warren Buffett visually convinced me why gold was a bad investment…

I will say this about gold. If you took all the gold in the world, it would roughly make a cube 67 feet on a side… Now for that same cube of gold, it would be worth at today’s market prices about $7 trillion dollars – that’s probably about a third of the value of all the stocks in the United States… For $7 trillion dollars… you could have all the farmland in the United States, you could have about seven Exxon Mobils, and you could have a trillion dollars of walking-around money… And if you offered me the choice of looking at some 67-foot cube of gold and looking at it all day, and you know me touching it and fondling it occasionally…Call me crazy, but I’ll take the farmland and the Exxon Mobils.

I’ve tried my hands at visual thinking through the illustrations I draw on my Wall of Ideas to think through things.

When it comes to investing, you can avoid yourself a lot of pain by just visualizing your life after you’ve lost a lot of money trading and speculating in the stock market. If the visuals unnerve you, don’t do anything that would get you into such a situation. That’s also the concept of inversion.

Thoughts I’m Meditating On

How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

~ Albert Einstein

When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

~ Theodor Seuss Geisel

Video I’m Watching – Buffett and Gates on Success

youtube

Buffett on what matters more than IQ and talent: “How I got here is pretty simple in my case. It’s not IQ, I am sure you will be glad to hear. The big thing is rationality. I always look at IQ and talent as representing the horsepower of the motor, but the output — the efficiency with which the motor works — depends on rationality. A lot of people start out with 400 horsepower motors but only get 100 horsepower of rationality. It is way better to have a 200 horsepower motor and get it all in output.”

Buffett on regrets: “I never look back. I don’t worry about anything… You play the hand you get, you play it as well as you can… and you’re thankful.”

Gates on dealing with success: “You’ve got to enjoy what you do everyday. Every time I think I found a little success, I’m pretty careful not to dwell on it very much. The bar gets raised. People’s expectations change.”

Articles I’m Reading

Knowledge of the Future (Latest Memo from Howard Marks)

Jeff Bezos’ 2019 Letter to Shareholders (Amazon)

The Practice of Value Investing, by Li Lu (Longriver)

James Montier on Fear and Investment (Masters in Business Podcast)

Unintended Consequences, Part II: What if LTCM Was Not Rescued? (Barry Ritholtz)

How COVID-19 Is Wreaking Havoc On Our Ability To Make Things — Including Vaccines (Five Thirty Eight)

Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates both do this mundane chore that may have significant mental benefits (CNBC)

A Question for You If you were dying, what worries you won’t be worrying about that you are worrying about today?

We are all dying. But sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this question to enjoy living.

Anyways, before I end, here’s something from Winnie the Pooh –

“What day is it?” “It’s today”, squeaked Piglet. “My favorite day”, said Pooh.

Enjoy today. Stay safe. Stay sane. Be grateful for this life, — Vishal

The post Thinking, the Einstein Way appeared first on Safal Niveshak.

Thinking, the Einstein Way published first on https://mbploans.tumblr.com/

0 notes

mystic-messenger-writing · 7 years

Note

Hi! I love your posts a lot. May I ask for a request, like a scenario or something with RFA + Unknown... Maybe like something happened and the MC lost her memory and what they'll do next or something.. idk. Thank you very much, I'll continue to support you and your post.

You’re such a sweet anonny, thank you for the kind words!! I really liked this idea so I formatted it a bit differently. Basically, the first part, before the under the cut part, is meant to be like a prologue of what happens to MC. I did it this way because I didn’t want to be repetitive, so I hope that it’s okay! I truly hope that you enjoy!! ^^

You and your lover were driving to a secluded nature reserve for a date. The two of you kept looking into each other’s eyes lovingly, it was officially your first anniversary as a couple. Your lover took one of their hands off the steering wheel of the car to take a hold of your own hand in a loving gesture. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes one more time before you heard a loud crash, the last thing you saw was the look of horror on your lover’s face before everything went dark.

“She should be waking up soon, let me know when she does.” He doctor told your very anxious lover as he headed to treat another patient.

A drunk driver hit your car that day, somehow your lover survived with only a few scratches while you were barely alive. You lover was snapped out of their thoughts when you stirred awake, they happily asked if you were alright. But your answer would haunt them for who knows how long as you said

“I’m sorry but who are you? And where am I, or rather… who am I?”

Yoosung

The second those questions left your mouth, tears streamed down Yoosung’s cheeks

“W-what do you mean? You’re MC silly!”

“M-MC? That’s me? I’m sorry but again, I don’t really remember anything.”

Yoosung used both of his hands to cover his tear-soaked face, he couldn’t believe that his own reckless driving caused you to lose your memories

“Um excuse me, but you said my name is MC, does that mean you know me? Are we friends or something? What’s your name?”

Wiping away the last of his tears, Yoosung determinedly grabbed your hand, gently rubbing the back of your palm as he said

“Yes I know you MC, I know almost everything about you! I know your favorite color, favorite type of music, even what you like on top of your pizza! Believe or not, I’m actually your boyfriend. My name’s Yoosung and I promise to tell you everything about you.”

From that moment on, Yoosung did whatever he could to help trigger your memories back in any way

He stopped playing video games and even took some time off of school in order to help with your recovery

You would only rarely get memories of your past back, making you feel discouraged but Yoosung was always there to support you

No matter what it would take, Yoosung would find a way to retrieve your memories but until then, you learned everything about yourself from your loving boyfriend

Zen

Zen holds back his tears and puts on a convincing smile that only a true actor could do

“You’re funny Jagiya, now come on, let’s tell the doctor that you’re awake and fine and go home.”

“Huh? Is ‘Jagiya’ my name or something? Do you know me or something?”

Zen’s heart was breaking at the seams, if only he had been more careful driving his motorcycle then he wouldn’t have to endure this immense feeling of guilt

But this was Zen’s mistake, he was going to help you regain your memory no matter what

“Haha no sorry, Jagiya is a nickname that I call you. Your real name is MC and you’re the most beautiful, talented, graceful, and wonderful person that I know. My name is Zen and I’m even lucky enough to call you my girlfriend.”

Your eyes lit up and a small blush spread across your cheeks to the tips of your ears as Zen noticed you suddenly became more bashful

“S-so you mean to me that I’m dating you? But you’re like, the most handsome man I’ve ever seen! I must’ve done something right to have someone like you in my life.”

There was his MC, his perfect girlfriend

Zen stayed at home with you as much as he could, showing you some small videos of you and him singing together to try and jog your memories

He’d sing you to sleep every night, making sure you were fast asleep before he let himself cry over the guilt

Zen wouldn’t rest until he helped you gain your memories back, it was his duty as your boyfriend to do so, thus began the long mission that he would fulfill someday

Jaehee

Jaehee holds her head in shame as she soon realizes how much damage she caused because of careless driving

She didn’t want to sugar-coat things, Jaehee decided at that moment on to face this problem head on since she caused it

“You’re name is MC and mine is Jaehee. You… you lost your memories because of a car crash. It’s all my fault MC, I was the only driving and caused all of this, I’m so sorry but I promise you that I’ll help you get your memories back alright?”

“You seem like such a nice person! I how that we were good friends, I’d love to have a friend just like you!”

At that moment, Jaehee realized how much it sucked being called a friend instead of a lover so she made a mental note of never calling you they again

“We’re actually girlfriends MC and I love you with all of my heart, we’re going to get your memories back together.”

“That’s good and all, but I’m more happy for the fact that we’re girlfriends! Thank you so much Jaehee, lets do this together!”

So Jaehee because your personal caretaker, trying all different kinds of techniques like brewing your favorite type of coffee to help trigger some memories back

Things weren’t easy for either one of you, there were days when the two of you just wanted to give up - But Jaehee never did, she wouldn’t stop until the day you had all of your memories back

Jumin

Jumin didn’t believe it, or rather, he didn’t want to believe the damage he had caused

He’ll always blame himself for letting you convince him drive that day, he knew he should have just been stubborn and told you no

But moping around wasn’t Jumin’s plan, he was going to fix this, he was going to get your memories back no matter the cost

“MC. That’s your name. You’re the most imaginative and kind person I know. This is all my own fault so I promise you that I’ll get your memories back.”

“Er, thank you sir. You seem like such a selfless and important man yourself so please, don’t worry about me sir.”

He felt his heart shatter, even in your state you were more worried about him then your own self

“My name’s Jumin, not sir. And you’re my girlfriend MC so no task is too big if it involves you. I will help you MC, you’ll get your memories back.”

“Alright thank you sir Jumin!”

Even with no memories, you still managed to make Jumin crack a smile

He took some time off of work to be with you and show you all kinds of photos, videos, and items to try and get your memories back

Only the best doctors were hired to help retrieve your memories and they all believed that you were truly making progress

Jumin would do anything to help you, you helped him deal with his own emotional issues, he hoped dearly that your memories would come back to you but until then, he would be there to help you every step of the way

Seven

Was Seven always going to be cursed to ruin the lives of the one’s he loved?

He hated himself so much for trying to show off his driving skills in one of his precious cars, but that was the past and Seven knew that he needed to help you

“You’re name is MC and I’m Saeyoung. We were in a car crash and it seems like you lost all of your memories. I’m so, so sorry MC, I know that you can never forgive but please let me try to show you how sorry I am!“

Seven was grasping onto your hand, his head lowered in shame as tears started cascading down his face

"Saeyoung huh… that’s a nice name! You seem to care about me a lot, thank you but you don’t have to be sorry. I’m sure it was just an accident.”

How you could be so kind and forgiving even through you had zero memories about your life is something that Seven would never understand

“Okay I’ll start right now! So you’re MC, you’re a party coordinator for a group called the RFA. We’re dating and I’m madly in love with you. You think I’m funny even though a lot of other people would disagree. And-”

“Easy now Saeyoung, lets go a little bit slower okay? Why don’t we start talking after I get released from the hospital.“

From that day on, Seven was always by your side, giving you all kinds of facts about yourself to help recover your memories

Your progress was almost non-existent and every night when Seven made sure you were fast asleep, he’d go to his own room and cry as the feeling of guilt never left

But Seven never gave up and he never would give up, not until you got your memories back so he could finally marry you at the space station

Unknown

Saeran knew that happiness never lasted long in his miserable life

His jaw clenched when you asked him those questions, why did someone as innocent and kind as you have to be the harmed and not him?

"You’re… my MC. I just- I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

Saeran stood up and quickly made his way to the door, not wanting to burden you any more with his presence as well as not wanting you to see him cry

“Wait! You still haven’t told me your name. Please, don’t go. I’m confused and no one else is here to see me so that must mean we know each other right?”

As much as Saeran wanted to walk right out of your life and let you be, he couldn’t

He wasn’t going to run away or be like his idiot brother and push you away, Saeran was going to get your memories back

“I’m Saeran. We were… a couple. I’m going to help you get your memories back alright? Now let’s go, I hate hospitals.”

So Saeran started taking you to familiar places, such as the ice cream shoppe and the park, to try and help recover your memories

He’d tell you stories about your past along with his own, being completely honest with every word that he said

Saeran knew that you may never get your memories back but one thing he knew for sure: he would never stop trying nor would he never stop loving you

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger Yoosung #mystic messenger Zen #mystic messenger Jaehee #mystic messenger Jumin #mystic messenger Seven #mystic messenger Unknown

107 notes · View notes

reapers-carino · 7 years

Note

Mind if I made a request of angst situation with Mccree, shimada bos, and 76' ( you can add in anyone if you want ), of their s/o died of child birth?

((I may have broken my own heart writing this. Why you make me do this anon….it’s okay, I’m going to share this pain, I’m also just going to say Mercy isn’t hear for any of these cuz…resurrection lmao))

McCree

You had been weak throughout the entire pregnancy, but you had insisted that you wanted this

You both didn’t really grow up with families so it was really important for you two to build your own together

The baby came early, you were 33-weeks along. You collapsed and it’s unknown how much time had passed until they found you

The fetus was in distress, your heart rate was weak and thready

You came to and were told that it was either you or the baby; the baby needed to be delivered asap but it was unsure if your body could handle it

McCree was absolutely heartbroken and he had never seemed more lost

You took his hand and told him that the baby would be a symbol of your love, that it was important to save your child first and that you would be strong enough to survive the surgery

He was so reluctant to okay the preterm delivery but with your convincing he said okay

The baby was small, you both getting a brief moment to see her before the baby was rushed off to the NICU

All of a sudden the monitors began to beep and you started to slip under and he was pushed out of the way but refused to leave the room

He is literally begging the doctors to save you and begging you to hold on and begging any god that would listen to save you

You slip away and he is just screaming no, that there was something that they could have done, that Mercy would have saved you

His screaming turns to crying as he holds your body and is begging you to come back, to not leave him, to not leave us and the family you both had made

He has to be sedated so that your body can be taken, he doesn’t go to the funeral

After Maria is given the okay to go, he disappears with her, sending notice that they are both alright but he doesn’t think he can do Overwatch anymore, it reminds him too much of you and he cannot even imagine leaving his daughter alone in this world without a mother or father like the both of yall had

He is given unspoken protection by both Talon and Overwatch, his families

Every year, on the anniversary of her death and Maria’s birthday, he visits your grave, has a mini party for the both of you

Eventually he comes back to Overwatch, not really to fight but so that Maria could have that family.

Even Reyes and Sombra end up seeing the baby, eventually

Hanzo

You developed severe pre-eclampsia later into your pregnancy and it had been something that the both of you had been worried about

You both believed that it had been being treated to the best of their knowledge and you had made it all the way to your due date but your blood pressure stayed concerningly high

Hanzo stayed by your side the entire time you were in labor, Genji making any runs when needed

You delivered your son and he was healthy and crying and beautiful and both you and Hanzo cried when you saw him

You begin to get a bit confused as you’re talking to Hanzo and then in the next moment you begin seizing

He is stunned, unable to say anything as they try and get your convulsions under control

Hanzo goes numb and cold when that high pitched, monotonous whine rips through the room and he isn’t able to breathe his eyes glued to the backs of the doctors that surround your hospital bed

He collapses when they call out a time of death, and dissolves into a full blown panic attack

If the doctors come near him, he screams at them to work on getting you back and to not touch him

Genji ends up being the only person that can touch him, Hanzo attempting to swing on him but his brother pulls him into a bruisingly tight hard to calm him down

He feels responsible for this, that he had not redeemed himself enough so the world thought it appropriate to take one of his most important people away

He was a murderer, why did he think he could live a happy life

He falls into a very very deep, pained depressed grief, admittedly afraid to get close to his son because what if they take him away too?

One day ends up stumbling onto a bunch of vids you had been shooting to release as a gift to Hanzo after the birth, most of them being from when he was on a mission or shot secretly while the two of you were around the house

Basically a vid saying how much you loved the both of them and that you knew Hanzo would be a great dad or how you and the baby were always rooting for him and no matter what you’d always be there for him

He cries and cries watching it but he begins to interact with his son more, trying to overcome the fear in his heart

It’s hard but he doesn’t want to insult the memory of his lost love by hurting Haruto

As he grows, Hanzo shows the video to his son so he never forgets what his mother looked like or that his mother loved him dearly

Genji

You made it full term with a clean bill of health, Genji working with Hanzo, Zenyatta and Mercy to make sure your mental, physical and spiritual health was good the entire pregnancy

Angela was scheduled away unfortunately when labor actually started

You had emphasized how much you wanted a natural birth, patting Genji’s hand as he worried over you while you went through a fairly normal labor

Shouta was born healthy and loud, Genji and you both crying almost as hard as the newborn when he was born

Hanzo and Zenyatta were there to celebrate your labor as well, being the closest family that Genji had

You were suddenly hit with a blinding headache, like the one you got when you had been kicked in the head in field

Your vision went white, then black before you completely passed out and then began to seize

The doctors rushed in, gave you anticonvulsants but that didn’t slow it, running an immediate full body scan found that an aneurysm had ruptured in your brain

Genji is stunned, becoming panicked and asking the doctors rushing around you what was happening, what could be done, are you okay

Hanzo goes to the hall and is making call after call to see if they can rush Angela back to work some kind of miracle like the one he had worked on Genji before

Zenyatta is no longer floating, he is walking, his hand is on Genji’s shoulder

Genji is mumbling, completely lost as he tries to make sense of what is happening his soul aching as he watches them intubate you, rushing you out and beginning surgery

Zenyatta is praying and Hanzo’s hand is a silent strength on Genji’s should but he never quite feels like any of this is real

An hour later the doctor comes out and says that he is very sorry but you slipped away while under

Genji absolutely loses it, he is screaming and crying, Zenyatta is holding him and Hanzo surprisingly is too

He is completely lost at what to do

Zenyatta and Hanzo assist with taking care of both him and the baby

It takes hi a while to come out of the numbness, Zenyatta’s wise words and Hanzo’s strength plus seeing Shouta who has so many pieces of you reminds him in bits and pieces that there is still a part of you that exists here

His faith was shaken but returns through support of those around him and a want to do right by the child that you both had brought into the world

Genji and you had taken hundreds upon hundreds of pictures and he is always showing them to Shouta, he wants to share your smile and energy with him as he grows

Soldier: 76

You made it to 38-weeks until you went into labor, Jack intensely worried but you comforted him saying anything after 37 would be good enough

You were in labor for just over fifteen hours when you finally began to push and were able to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby girl

Jack is crying wholeheartedly, telling you what a good job you did and how proud of you he is and saying how their daughter looks just like you

You’re tired, but happy, glad to hold your daughter against your chest but the nurse and doctors end up quietly and carefully ushering your daughter from the room

They tell you and Jack that your uterus isn’t contracting and you were bleeding much more heavily than you should have been

Jack is demanding treatment before coming back to your side, telling you that it would be alright, that you would be fine

You begin to shiver, telling him that you’re freezing, your heart rate monitor going wild with warning sounds before slipping into Class IV of hemorrhagic shock

The doctors are rushing bags of compatible blood into the room and giving you oxytocin and working hard to stop the bleeding

Jack ends up being pushed back from your body but the soldier’s mind was reeling as he tried his hardest to keep it together

But his mind is screaming at him that he should have known, he should have planned, he should have done something, he was letting you down just as he had let down his Overwatch family before

He goes into auto-pilot when the doctor tells him that you have passed, not displaying too much outward emotions, going right back to Commander mode

He had to make arrangements, he had to bring the baby home, he had to keep going, he couldn’t fucking stop because he knew the moment he did it would break him

And it did one night, Lily screaming cries filling the apartment, the child hungry but rejecting the formula that Angela had brought

Jack couldn’t figure out what to do and ended up just sitting there with his daughter who looked so much like her mother and cried with her; cried for who he had lost, cried because he felt so helpless, crying because he was just lost

Ana, Rein and Torb forcibly invite themselves to his place, Ana staying with the main for several weeks until he was actually back on his feet and not moving robotically

With their help and love and the love of the new OW agents, Lily grows up in a loving, healthy environment

288 notes · View notes

sunshineweb · 4 years

Text

Thinking, the Einstein Way

Here is some stuff I am reading and thinking about this weekend…

If you do not change, you can become extinct.

Another of my favourite quotes from the book is –

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

And finally, here’s an advice from Haw that has helped me immensely at various stages of my life –

Sometimes, Hem, things change and they are never the same again. This looks like one of those times. That’s life! Life moves on. And so should we.

Idea I’m Thinking – Visual Thinking Here’s a note from Ashlee Vance’s biography of Elon Musk…

In Seeing What Others Don’t: The Remarkable Ways We Gain Insights, Gary Klein writes –

Imagine someone talking to you, and starting with the word – “Imagine…” You are completely hooked, isn’t it?

Consider this excerpt from Richard Feynman’s The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, where his father helps him visualize about dinosaurs –

Then consider how Warren Buffett visually convinced me why gold was a bad investment…

I’ve tried my hands at visual thinking through the illustrations I draw on my Wall of Ideas to think through things.