Dana Terrace literally looked at Hunter and said “yes I know exactly what to do with this” and proceeded to commit to the bit with all her heart

What’s up with this table scene in Deep Cover? (And another theory on colour symbolism and that final scene)

In this one scene where she’s eyeing the chess peices of Kazui, Amane and Mikoto is really confusing to me. This scene (and the one after) depicts only these three. Like I can understand as Kazui was the one who stopped Kotoko from fully beating up Fuuta, and Amane and Mikoto were the guilty prisoners she wasn’t able to fully inflict pain on but it’s interesting how she’s only eyeing these three here.

And when the camera starts spinning there’s no chess pieces for the other prisoners, only indescribable rubble that doesn’t match up with the pieces (I’ll get to that later). And even Fuuta’s and Mahiru’s pieces aren’t here, but when it keeps spinning it goes back to Kazui, Amane and Mikoto’s pieces still on the table. So what’s up with this? And there’s no sign of Kotoko’s throne which would be right next to Mikoto’s chair. But interestingly enough her chair is back not long later when she’s standing on the table?

This is really interesting but I don’t know exactly what to make of this. All other prisoners that aren’t Kazui, Amane or Mikoto have been completely removed from this scene, and Kotoko’s chair as well. Instead she’s sitting on the other’s chairs instead of her own. Although it seems that may not be the case for Amane, as it looks like she’s sitting on the table there. Or maybe she’s just sitting sideways, it’s hard to tell.

There’s also how in the scene right after this where there’s only one Kotoko, and she’s standing between Amane and Mikoto’s chairs.

She’s eyeing Mikoto’s broken piece, smiling and laughing, representing her overblown hate for him.(which I still don’t exactly know why she really wants to kill him so badly? Some of the things she’s said makes me think it may be ableism but I don’t think it’s just that.)

And unlike the others who’s chess pieces are in front of their own chairs, his piece is broken in front of her, perhaps even with the likely guilty verdict she may try to attack him again.

There’s also the colours here, where the purple and blue colours often show when she’s breaking the chess pieces or other violent scenes, which is just a little detail I really like. But it also makes the thumbnail scene interesting as that has the more normal grey palette? Thinking about it perhaps this colour scheme represents her desire to take everyone down, as Amane and Mikoto’s pieces are broken here but she only really attacked Fuuta and Mahiru in real life. But that’d make it interesting considering Kazui’s piece is not broken here but at the end it is.

So going back to the rubble thing I mentioned earlier, there appears to be shattered pieces of stone all around the table that do not look like the broken prisoner chess pieces, as this rubble is more broken and doesn’t have any colour.

It’s interesting as this rubble has just appeared out of nowhere, and replaced the other prisoners chess pieces in this scene as well. And it surrounds Kazui’s piece despite it not being broken. And in the scene where she’s on the table, the remains of the guilty prisoners and the other rubble swirl around her in a ring.

And this is where I want to talk about the layout of the chairs and the rubble more as this shot is incredibly confusing to me.

So right off the bat there’s something really strange here. Again there’s rubble all over the table but this time it’s in weird clumps. There appears to be 3 maybe 4 clumps on the table, in a position where it looks like it could represent the guilty prisoners perhaps, but if you look closely they do not match up with where the prisoners seats would be, and they’re just everywhere, and it doesn’t seem like the individual chess pieces are here either.

But in the end, the table has been completely destroyed and the entire mindscape has been engulfed in the bright blues and pinks, which I mentioned could represent her violent desires. The innocent prisoner’s chess pieces have been destroyed with blood all over them and the guilty ones nowhere to be seen. And Kotoko’s piece, the only one intact is the only one that remains, and is covered in blood.

Ok so just going to go off topic here but I just thought about this final scene while writing. If the pink and blue colours represent her desires, perhaps the overly saturated colours represent her desires going out of control and killing everyone. This could explain why Kazui’s chess piece wasn’t broken in the table scene with these colours but it is now.

Perhaps this final scene isn’t exactly what Kotoko wants, but is what she is scared she will become if she doesn’t try to stop herself. She’s struggling at the beginning to hold herself together and gives up, with the shadow of the werewolf emerging from her. The wolves are Kotoko’s representation of her justice, this werewolf is the violent justice that destroys. She’s afraid of what she could become here, that’s why she’s so horrified at the end. She doesn’t exactly want this outcome, she doesn’t want to kill all the prisoners. But she’s scared that how far she’s been going into her extreme ideologies could lead her down this path.

As a fellow top 0.1% mitski listener I want to say thank you for existing

asks that initially gave me a level 10 heart attack

okay. i need to rewatch the episode probably but i think my current feeling is that i like most of it a lot (rome, ken, the siblings not getting ceo, etc), think the tom ceo makes sense from a logical/character perspective but not sure how i feel about it from a broader more thematic lens (altho i'm leaning towards fine with it), and am very mixed on shiv's ending because i think it's well-conceived and meaningful from a broader thematic lens (shiv becomes her mother, the cycle always repeats, etc) but doesn't quite make sense to me from a logical/character one -- it could've worked, it could've worked brilliantly, but it was far too rushed and forced. it makes sense as an ending for shiv, but not her next step. i'm largely talking about her decision to return to tom, not her decision to vote against kendall (which i think should've been executed better and given more space but can understand given her character, mostly). i'm fine with it as an ending for shiv, but what i'm struggling to stomach is the way it played out -- it didn't feel like a choice the shiv we know would've made. it's an ending that makes sense thematically and for her character arc, but not a decision that makes sense for her character at present. that's kinda where i'm at right now

i think i've said this before but i used to really not Understand or like timmy and helia being best friends but it really grew on me over time. obviously their main bestie is tecna and flora respectively, but specifically for just the specialists, i really like them now.

i just tend to think about timmy being this really self-conscious guy who is constantly being looked down on by his peers and even his crush, who is so committed to being a specialist but starts to doubt if he's worthy, who wants so badly to have a Special Someone who understands him,,, being put into this team where two of the members are already best friends and have an insane amount of history and loyalty to each and you can't just Get in the middle of that and the other guy is really, really stuck in his I Don't Need Friends They Disappoint Me Stage. like,,, the loneliness? the loneliness of not having a Best Friend on the team? then he finds tecna but even she starts to look down on him?

like,,, the toll that would take on someone is,,, not fun to think about. while they may not have a lot of scenes together, timelia being best friends is honestly so cute and makes so much sense. timmy had to put up with so much bullshit from the specialists (affectionate), finding someone who isn't going to look down on you, or doubt you, or always think of you as a Secondary Friend is So Important and that's such a big aspect of their friendship. timmy really trusts helia! and you can see this especially in the comics when he gets so mad that helia leaves. he's literally never acted like that with any of the other specialists! in the show or in the comics, timmy may get a little sad, but he never gets that angry and that desperate to contact whoever left. it just,,, says so much about him,,,

like timmy gets painted a lot as this nerd who only cares about tecna (and like. yes. true) but more than that, he's a very sensitive and caring guy who yearns for deep, trusting relationships. tecna is 100% his best friend and special person, but the friendship that timmy builds with the specialists and even the other winx is so important. he craved close relationships so much,,, and it's so nice that they didn't go into the loser lonely nerd trope.

i just really like that timmy was able to find friends that truly respect and love him. and specifically timmy being best friends with helia makes so much sense when you stop thinking about their interests and personalities, and instead think about how much the two of them craved people they could trust, people who would never make them feel less than, people who wouldn't treat them like backup friends, people they could actually connect to. it's just,,, they're so important to me actually <3

-“Just a flower, in the middle of the field at night, a light is turned on and reveals.. A day arriving with confident hope and silent happiness!”����🐝

honestly im so glad bioware nerfed the cousland origin by not making them as socially & politically powerful as they technically ought to be. bc i think if i had to confront the whole cousland/mac tir situation in canon as opposed to just my own unsalvageable deep fried thoughts i think i would contract some sort of brain eating bacterial infection and die :/

oh my ... what you said about Oda using the "I want to be a man bc women are weak" trope made me think about Kuina.

I am bit upset we didnt encountered a strong swordwoman yet. I hope we will soon. Some people think Tashigi could be Kuina but that would really hurt me. She isnt near Zoro level at all. I dont want Kuina to be right.

This would be stupid.

But.

I think the best case scenario we could have, is if Zoro somehow encountered Ivankov before Mihawk, he could ask for HRT so that he could then go fight and defeat Mihawk "as a woman" and fulfill Kuina's dream for her and prove that a woman could be the strongest (and maybe get turned back into a man afterwards)

That's not how gender works of course, but Oda doesn't get it either, and I'm trying to picture the best case scenario Oda could actually give us

Because the only way Kuina's fears could be proven wrong is if both Mihawk and Zoro lost to a swordswoman at the end, and I do not think that is ever going to happen. Because the clash between Mihawk and Zoro has been like The Ultimate Goal of Zoro's whole story, so him losing to someone else would just feel bad

Like it'd be a lil dumb (from a queer POV (unless Zoro turned out to be a butch trans woman, which to be fair, valid, and I would enjoy the dudebros getting Fucking Angry About It lmao)), but like. Oda does have his issues with the gender essentialism and misogyny, and the way the chesspieces are arranged on the table right now, it's either that or Kuina's fears end up correct. And it definitely sucks

Slides Tri Gloria into y'alls feed and runs

THIS. THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN EATING MY BRAIN FOR A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME AND I'M TRYING MY BEST TO POLISH HER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE (her design isn't ready yet but i would say I pulled 95% out of the stuff the way I wanted so she's gonna be real soon! just need to change a few stuff)

I am the first to point out that, of the two leads in P&P, Lizzy’s is the far deeper moral transformation and to say that Darcy’s character especially re: his flaws is wildly misunderstood and frequently painted out worse than he is out of fear of his particular kind of power. All of that said, I do love that Lizzy is just like “no, the way you treat me isn’t good enough and I will not simply accept it”

thinking about parallers between Dark Urge and Shadowhear

my sister just told my mom and i that she wants to join the military. i’m devastated i don’t even know what to do i need to talk to her but she’s not answering the phone. i know that she’s doing this because she wants a sense of purpose and hates her body and thinks the military will get her in shape and give her that purpose. i also know that she has endured so much early childhood trauma, emotional and verbal abuse from our father, and sexual trauma from being groomed as a young teen, and she probably is seeking a way to play out her traumas in an externalized way. i know her therapist is not trauma informed, is not and never has been equipped to help her, and probably hasn’t questioned her on her motivations behind this decision considering she told us immediately after coming out of a therapy session yesterday, as if her decision was made and she was being affirmed by her therapist to tell us. i don’t know how any mental health professional could encourage a currently minor child (though not for long, and that terrifies me, than in less than two months we have no control over her decisions, no way of protecting her…) to make such an irrevocable decision knowing all of their past trauma and history of suicidal ideation and self harm. and finally, i don’t know who my sister is if she’s someone who truly feels that the us military aligns with her morals. i hope she hasn’t put much thought behind it, because i can understand ignorance and susceptibility to propaganda, i won’t be able to understand it if she tells me that the military is an organization she wholly supports and aligns her values to.

+

there's that specific brand of villain that's like - you're only a villain because you gave into your deepest fears and allowed them to control you, and now you've gone way too far to ever be truly redeemed.

like, they are beyond a shadow of a doubt a villain and should be seen as such, but there's still a certain tragedy to it, y'know? that tragedy of like "damn, you would've been a decent person if you'd just had some therapy, but now look at you"

Hey I'm going to be pretty MIA for a while due to some really bad circumstances irl. I don't know how long it will go on for, nor how much it will affect me in the future. But for now I will be pretty absent both on my blog and privately.