thinking thoughts about things and such but I do wonder if cas had, say, an amnesia moment or whatever and dean did dean things which would include kidnapping him and keeping him in an underground bunker etc etc you understand. like if and when cas does come back to himself. i do wonder. if his freaky ass would be so into it that he'd jump dean's bones about this violation of human rights. i do wonder.

no but actually. looking at gifs from that IG vid again seeing how happy jensen is after they show dean on screen makes ME so happy like !!!! he truly does love dean so much and i get it !! it’s the same joy i feel whenever i see dean too !!! he really was so upset abt dean’s death and we see it every time he has to talk abt it and the whole finale and just. yeah he wants dean to live !!!!! he wants him to LIVE !!!!!!!!

Idk man but “lip licking and yawns” do not = working hard to me.

cas coming back in any kind of spn reboot is a given, we know this. he'll interact with dean and we might even get dean addressing the confession. and i know jackles will be the driving force behind any reboot but his history with addressing dean's feelings at cons is like a damn yoyo - is2g if dean doesn't reciprocate and destiel doesn't kiss on screen i'm not watching it and it will join the annals of not-canon along with 15x19 and 15x20 and the canon divergence attempt at a fixit that was dean in spnwin. no destiel means spngate 2.0.

still thinking about aro!dean btw. thinking about that passage in john’s journal where he laments that at dean’s age, he had a wife and kids while dean is a hunter. and like. do you think john ever told him that? i imagine he did, set the scene, he’s drunk and dean has been pulling his boots off before bed since he was seven years old and now he’s in his twenties, still that boy taking care of his father, and john is apologizing for once. for how dean didn’t get the chance for what he had (except even now, all this mourning is framed around dean, but it’s not about dean, it’s about john, what he lost and can’t get back) and dean is listening to his father tell him he should’ve had a wife, should’ve had kids, should’ve had a house and the whole nine yards.

because more than the rest of the world telling dean what he should have, should want, his father crying to him that he ruined it all is gonna dig it’s claws into his head the most.

maybe john doesn’t even remember it in the morning. dean does.

so now that hangs over him, too. every feeling of ‘this isn’t quite right, isn’t what I’m comfortable with’ has to contend with the knowledge that his dad felt guilt he couldn’t have it. (compound that with sam’s request at the end of s5, and of course he ends up on lisa’s doorstep. it’s what they thought he wanted, so they told him to take it once he was free, but in doing so, culled his freedom down to a backyard and a shared bed with someone he barely knows and tries to love the way he should.)

and most importantly of all, obviously, I’m thinking about dean getting older. about how the weight of his father never really falls off, but he gets better at carrying it. and he can say to himself, he’s long past the point where he should’ve gotten all that stuff in order anyway. might as well work with what he’s got. (while what he’s got makes him happier than the life john imagined he stole ever could have.) new freedom that comes with aging out of expectation, in a way. a space to build his own life. and so one day, when dean the age john was when he wrote about it in his journal, he’s doesn’t feel like he missed out on anything at all.

I let him have his humanity back.

designs used on my island!

I credited the creators when possible. I find designs mostly via the portal and some creator codes didn’t show any results when searched on google, please let me know if you recognize the creators!

road 🚗 : MA-6698-0874-3718

sidewalk :  MA-1088-2951-9808 by twitter user imotarez

yellow sidewalk : MA-4989-1407-8365

mosaic sidewalk 🏠 : MA-3243-7160-9601

brick path & brown windows : I really can’t find these ones sorry...

stone path : MA-6885-4544-9413 by me :)

drain : MA-4935-5391-9197

puddle💦: MA-3271-3867-8667 by twitter user kyon_spark

confetti🎉: MA-6885-4544-9413 by me

seagull shadow 🕊️ : MA-8569-4772-9405 by twitter user yamaji_maya

having a dean winchester meltdown because i listened to iris by the goo goo dolls. typical thursday night

.

WHAT

i did not know that cas' deal with the empty was about him giving himself permission to be happy, and man if that doesn't make the whole thing even more tragic

So I've been cooking up some alternate outfit ideas for my Lmk sona and this is what they'd look like if they were with the Demon Bull Family! The idea is basically they'd be something of a court musician but it's mainly just a title.

Edit: Added the version without her armor <3

I don't have a concrete story but the initial idea was that cas was friends with swk in the brotherhood days and stuck with dbk after everyone else got sealed away and the whole consumption incident went down since she had nowhere else to go (and conveniently was the only lady around that he could ask for relationship advice when courting Iron Fan). They didn't expect Cas to live this long, only really expecting to have her around through her natural lifespan but they noticed she wasn't aging so now she gets to be their babysitter for date nights! Through the years she's been something of an aunt/sister figure and has become fiercely loyal to the family despite having no desire to take over the world. Redson built her electric bass and the armor she wears over her gems, the Bass has 2 extra buttons on it- the fire button spews fire out of the pipes and the Bull button unsheathes her sword from the neck of the instrument since she can't exactly walk around with a sword on her hip so easy these days. She travels with a heavy metal band across the continent- i like to imagine her intro episode has the crew excited about a big band coming to the city and while they wait they run into redson and annoy him cause he's bragging about getting exclusive vip passes to the show. The crew would expect someone mean from the music and the from the rest of the family but Cas is super welcoming and nice when the crew sneak backstage to bother redson some more XD

Giggling and kicking my feet at the thought of the batkids hugging & being genuinely happy to see each other

Wanna do acid again but too awkward to have any contacts </3

domestic destiel with baby jack except that dean wants to kill himself the entire time because he feels like he’s trapped and can’t keep going through these motions that he doesn’t feel

today is the first time in like forever that i kept my hair open for the whole day without hating them by the end of the day and they're so soft and i tried on dark maroon purple lipstick yesterday with my bestfriend and she was like whoa. you look like. hot. and Mature. and i told her i love her because i kept using pink because it's cute pretty girly and i wanna feel pretty but it didn't really suit me but this this dark shade it's perfect i feel so confident and sexy and i hung out with my cousin little sister rn we used to be closest bestfriends but we drifted apart because of papa-chachu drama in childhood but