#I haven’t drawn her since I was like 15 holy shit
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Rewatching the og Hellsing anime and had to draw my sweet precious bby girl
#myart#hellsing#seras victoria#I haven’t drawn her since I was like 15 holy shit#my old ass Hellsing comic that blew up on deviantart back in the day lol
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Spelljammer Reveal Trippy New Vid, Talk ‘Abyssal Trip’
~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~
Interview by Billy Goate
Cover Art by Aaron Cahill
Our week of big interviews continues as we meet up with the ethereal doom outfit from Stockholm SPELLJAMMER and premiere a new music video, from their just released second LP, dropped only weeks ago on RidingEasy Records and now the number one album on the Doom Charts.
'Abyssal Trip' (2021) is an enthralling listen from edge to center, with lavish textures, deep thematic content, and unforgettably emotive atmosphere that will stick with you for life. Enjoy it as you read the revealing conversation with Niklas Olsson (guitar, vox) and Robert Sörling (guitar) that follows as we unpack their steller new spin, talk nerdy gear shit, and contemplate humanity's fate.
And now, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the world premiere of the brand new video for that epic third track, "Among The Holy."
Give ear...
Spelljammer - Among The Holy (music video)
You guys have been a band now for damn near 15 years, maybe longer. Most bands don't make it past two years! What is the "key" to the band staying together for so long and continuing to find inspiration for creating new music?
Rob: I don’t think it’s been 15 years just yet but we are getting there, haha. None the less - that’s a really interesting question! Nik and I started the band much because we share the same taste in music, film and, well, art in general. I think that's the core keeping it all together. Also, there have been a few constellations of band members over the years, all with their own dynamic. I think these kinds of changes, and the new directions of the music because of that, is part of the inspiration. Maybe another reason is that we all live in different cities and because of that sometimes a lot of time passes between rehearsals, writing sessions and such, making us always craving for new Spelljammer jams and songs.
Nik: The craving yes. And another reason I think is the fact that we’ve never really been in a rush to get anywhere. Anything Spelljammer, the music included, takes time. If we had been set on making it, this thing probably would have fallen apart a long time ago.
Abyssal Trip by Spelljammer
How did the theme for Abyssal Trip originate?
Nik: I have always been more drawn to the feelings or emotions you get from a riff or piece of music than to any theme of a lyric. But I would say that any themes came in at the lyrics state, which is at the end of the process. But the themes aren’t that specific to any of the albums. I think I cast a pretty wide net in the beginning and stuck to it. For the next album perhaps we will venture more into unchartered waters. We’ll see.
What fascinates you about the Great Abyss of the ocean?
Nik: I totally get that the word abyss conjures up images of ocean trenches and, yes, the ocean is a fascinating and to a large extent undiscovered place. However, when I wrote that I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the ocean but more the abyss of our own minds. But I think it’s a word that evokes many things, like despair and doom, and it is of course totally open to interpretation.
Is mankind doomed or do we have time to correct our course?
Nik: I’m not as pessimistic of a person as the lyrics may suggest. I think we will be here on earth for a long time. Mankind is clever (perhaps too clever for her own good) even if there are a lot of people hell-bent on trying to screw up everything for everybody else.
Rob: Yes, and considering how ignorant and careless (some) people are acting during this pandemic, at least over here, makes you wonder if there’s any hope at all.
Nik: People are the worst. Ultimately, though, none of it matters because we’re all doomed.
Have you guys seen any good movies/documentaries or read any good books lately that inspired you or otherwise challenged your thinking about life, the present, or the future?
Rob: I can’t say that I’ve seen or read anything recently that challenged me significantly, I guess I’m getting too old to be that overwhelmed haha. The film A Ghost Story though was kind of cool though because it was different, slow and weird (in a good way), and for me it’s always inspiring to read/see/hear something that makes you think, "Man, I wish I had come up with that idea”.
Nik: Absolutely! Punch Drunk Love, Moon, and Office Space are definitely movies like that. I have watched so many movies and series through this pandemic and I can’t remember any of them right now. But I did just notice that there is a season 3 of Loudermilk on HBO! If you haven’t already, see it! I’m currently reading "Homeward Bound, The Life of Paul Simon” by Peter Ames Carlin. It’s a good read about one of my favorite musicians.
For recording this album, what kind of gear did you use and what production/engineering considerations did you have to take into account?
Rob: Since we did a remote recording in the countryside we had to use whatever stuff that we could fit into a couple of cars. I have a couple of old audio interfaces that I linked for a total of 16 channels. I also have a small collection of mics (nothing fancy) and we used them all and the rest was borrowed. We set up the drums in the living room and put the guitar and bass rigs as far away as we could (the adjacent rooms) to avoid bleed and just focused on getting the rhythm tracks done. The goal was to get us all in the same room and to catch the vibe from a relaxed rehearsal kind of situation. The bass rig used was a Orange Terror Bass and an Ampeg SVT 810 and the guitar was tracked through a Reval Mark I and/or Orange TH-100 and a Orange PPC 412. Of course there’s always some unforeseen problem lurking and this time it was the electricity in the old country house.
Nik: I don’t use many effects, just a fuzz. For this one I used a Supercollider from Earthbound Audio. It is exactly what the name suggests. That’s all you need really.
The album cover is amazing! It reminds me, in some strange way, of the creature in the old B-movie Robot Monster (1953). What's the story behind the artwork?
Nik: It definitely has a B-movie vibe that I really like. I’m afraid I can’t really tell you much about it other than the artist name is Aaron Cahill and you can find his stuff on Instagram under the name nghbrs.
I filmed your first US appearance at Psycho Las Vegas in 2016. Fans want to know: do you have ambitions of returning to North America once the world sorts out this pandemic?
Rob: Yes, that’s our first and only US appearance so far and we wouldn’t mind at all returning to Vegas or any other part of the US. For now it’s really hard making any plans at all. In fact, you would think that this kind of isolation would enhance creativity, and maybe for some it does, but for us it’s actually been the most unproductive period so far for Spelljammer. So I’m hoping that by the time this thing blows over we get the inspiration back both for writing/recording new music, and in time hopefully revisiting the US!
Nik: I agree, playing at Psycho Las Vegas was a blast. I hope we get another opportunity to come back some day.
Spelljammer at Psycho Las Vegas/a>
Some Buzz
“The vastness of everything is something that I think about a lot,” says Spelljammer bassist/vocalist Niklas Olsson. And it certainly shows in both the expansive, sludgy sounds and contemplative lyrics of the Stockholm, Sweden based trio. Following a 5-year break between their previous album, Ancient of Days — perhaps fittingly spent pondering said vastness — Spelljammer is back with an album that perfectly bridges the band’s earlier desert rock leanings and their later massive, slow-burning riffs.
'Abyssal Trip' (note: carefully reread that album title) takes its moniker from the perpetually dark, cold, oxygen-free zone at the bottom of the ocean. The 6-song, 44-minute album fittingly embodies that bleak realm with rumbling, oozing guitars intercut with dramatic melodic interludes. The songs take their time to unfurl, making them even more hypnotic. Likewise, the lyrics take a poetic approach to establishing the sonic scenery.
“The lyrical themes we address, like the ultimate doom of man, and the search and longing for new and better worlds, are still there,” Olsson says. “The concept of something undiscovered out there in vast emptiness is pretty much always present.”
The recording process for Abyssal Trip differs from previous releases in that the band — guitarist Robert Sörling, drummer Jonatan Rimsbo and Olsson — opted to capture the performances while holed up in the mental bathysphere of a house in the countryside near Stockholm. “The songs benefitted from the relaxed environment of being away from everything,” Olsson explains. Indeed, the album sounds confident and meticulously arranged, afforded by the band’s isolation. Sörling mixed the album and it was mastered by Monolord drummer Esben Willems at Berserk Audio.
Album opener “Bellwether” begins dramatically with a very slow, nearly minute-long fade in of rumbling distortion setting the stage for heavily distorted bass and guitar plucking out the lugubrious riff for another minute and a half before the drums begin, and likewise equally as long before vocals gurgle to the surface. “Lake” abruptly shifts gears, opening with an unusually fast gallop before rupturing into thundering doom that soon drops into a clean-tone Middle Eastern melodic breakdown.
The title track serves as the album centerpiece, opening with ominous film dialogue about blood sacrifice that launches into pummeling, detuned guitars rumbling over gut-punching drums and howling vocals hearkening to the proto-sludge of Pink Floyd’s “The Nile Song.” The dynamic relents briefly for a slow building clean guitar melody before all instruments lock into a jerking riff topped off by a trilling Iommi style lead. Throughout, Abyssal Trip is, just like its title suggests, an epic tour through desolate zones which yields much to discover.
Follow The Band
Get Their Music
#D&S Debuts#D&S Interviews#Spelljammer#Stockholm#Sweden#doom#metal#doom metal#music video#HeavyBest2021#RidingEasy Records#Doomed and Stoned
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 75
warnings: none
hmh masterlist
Today is probably one of your favorite days so far weather wise. The sky is blue, scattered with puffy white clouds, and there’s a nice cool breeze. It’s not too hot, and it’s not too cold. It’s just perfect. Even more perfect since you won’t be sweating because you’ve decided to wear jeans.
You’re leaning back against the wall of a building waiting for John as he parks the car down the road a little. There was no where to park near the festival so John dropped you off and parked around the corner. You finally see him walking towards you, and you perk up a little when you make eye contact.
John is wearing jeans and a simple light gray t-shirt, but it nearly takes your breath away. You’ve looked at John’s face almost every day for nearly a year now, but you’re still not over how handsome he is. His cuts on his face are fading, and his hair is a little longer than usual, but he looks so fucking gorgeous.
He reaches out for your hand and smiles, “Ready?”
“Yup!”
Music is filling the air as you and John make your way through the festival gates, and there are booths on both sides of the road filled with all sorts of crafts. You don’t even know where to look because there’s so much to look at, but your focus is immediately drawn towards the flowers on the side of a shop.
Tugging John’s hand a little, you point over at the flowers, “I kinda want some flowers.”
John moves you to stand behind him as he pushes through the crowds of people, then he reaches for your hand again when you finally get in front of the shop. He picks up a bouquet of sunflowers and hands them to you, smiling as wide as he can.
“They’re beautiful.” you say, looking them over.
“Just like you.” he smiles, and you roll your eyes. “What? You knew I was going to say something like that, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I really should know better by now.” you laugh and watch John as he hands the woman behind the booth a few dollars.
Almost every booth you walk past has something that catches your eye, and you’re half tempted to buy everything you see. There’s another booth that doesn’t have anyone at it, and you notice the woman behind it looks a little bummed, so you tug John’s hand and lead him over to it.
“Soaps!” you smile and bring a cube a soap to your nose to smell, “Ooh, I smell…vanilla.”
John nods his head as he smells it, then he grabs a small bag for you to fill, “Get some.”
You happily fill the bag up with soaps, then you and John continue your way down the street. You’ve kept your eyes peeled in case you see Shiloh and Gia, but so far, you haven’t. You spot a bench under a tree and point to it for you and John to sit down.
“Man, something smells good.” John says, looking around to find the source. He perks up a little more and smiles, “Ooh, baby, they have those big pretzels that you like. You know those kind you always get at the mall? You want one?”
“I kind of do.” you laugh and look over at John, “Are you gonna get something?”
John nods, “I’m gonna figure out what that smell is, and I’m gonna eat the whole booth when I do.”
You laugh loudly and tilt your head back when John leans down to kiss you. He starts to walk over to the booth, then he turns around and points at you.
“Do not move from here. I can’t lose you.”
“You always say that.” you laugh, and John gives you a disapproving look. You smile and shake your head, “I won’t move, I promise.”
__
John is still gone, probably still trying to track down the smell. You’re looking at your phone at all the pictures you’ve posted on social media so far, and you’re finally replying to a few people who have texted you. Amanda, Grace from the shop, and your mom. Tess had texted you earlier while you were getting ready to leave, and you completely forgot to text her back.
Goose! I miss u so much, I can’t wait to see u again and tell u all about this place.
You open the text to reply when someone puts their hands over your eyes, “John, I hate this game.”
“It’s not me.” he laughs, and you pull one hand away from your face to see John standing in front of you. Whoever it is puts their hand over your eyes and you hear John laugh again.
“Gia?”
John laughs, “Nope.”
“Uh…” you feel the hands on your face and perk up, “No fucking way!”
Turning around, you see Jimmy and Tess standing there with smiles on their face, and you immediately get up to hug Tess.
“Holy shit!” you cup her face and laugh, “What are you doing here?”
Tess laughs and moves to sit on the bench, “We came to this festival and we were sitting on a bench over there, and I was like ‘hold on, that’s John’, Jimmy didn’t believe me, and I was like, ‘no, literally, look, it’s John’. And it was John just standing in line at a booth.”
“I’m so happy to see you!” you say, then you hug Jimmy. You sit down next to Tess and touch her belly, “It’s been like 3 days, but look at your belly!”
“I just ate a corndog, a slice of pizza, and had a root beer float. I’m on vacation, so I’m going all out with the food.”
“As you should.” you laugh and look over at John as he hands you your pretzel and drink. “How is your place? Do you like it?”
Jimmy sits down on the ground in front of you and laughs, “It’s so nice. We went horseback riding the other day, that was very fun.”
“Yeah, our place is really nice.” Tess nods, “It’s really quiet there too. There’s never anyone around, so it’s just been Jimmy and I having this whole place to ourselves. It’s been really nice.”
“Tonight we’re going to lay under the stars.” Jimmy smiles as he looks at Tess.
You smile, “That’s really sweet. So you’re not far from here then? I mean, if you knew about this festival.”
Jimmy shakes his head, “It was about a 20 minute drive.”
“About 10 for us.” John says, and he smiles when you perk up to see what he’s eating, “Pulled pork sandwich, want a bite?”
You nod your head and lean forward to take a bite of his sandwich, then you cover your mouth as you chew. You smile to yourself when you spot Gia and Shiloh, who has her face painted to look like a butterfly.
Shiloh sees you and takes off running, then she stops and slowly sneaks up behind John. You’re praying like hell he won’t turn on assassin mode when two unfamiliar arms wrap around his neck. Tess furrows her brow a little as she watches Shiloh sneak up behind John, and John is so into his food, he isn’t even paying attention.
“Gotcha!” Shiloh says, wrapping her arms around John’s shoulders as best as her tiny arms can.
John looks over his shoulder and smiles, “Hey, you. Whoa, look at your cool painted face!”
“I’m a butterfly!” she says, flapping her arms and spinning in a circle.
“You look pretty cool!” John says, smiling wide as he watches Shiloh jumping up and down.
“Who the hell is that?” Tess asks, leaning closer to you.
Laughing quietly, you lean over to Tess, “That’s Shiloh, her mom is Gia. She owns the tree house we’re staying in.”
Gia walks over and shrugs, “I can’t keep her away from you two!”
“Hi, Gia.�� you smile and gesture to Tess and Jimmy, “This is my sister, Tess, and her husband, Jimmy.”
She reaches out to shake their hands and sits down next to John, “I’m Gia, and this one is Shiloh. She’s also very obsessed with John and Y/N.”
“Hi, Shiloh. I’m Jimmy.” he reaches for her hand and shakes it, “You look so cool with your butterfly facepaint. I might have to get one!”
“You could be…uh…” she tilts her head, thinking, “A tiger!”
Jimmy nods, “I like it, maybe I can convince my wife to take me to get my face painted.”
Shiloh looks at Tess and smiles, then she looks at her belly, “You’re having a baby?”
“Shiloh.” Gia scolds her.
Tess puts her hands on her belly and laughs, “I am having a baby.”
“When?” she asks, scooting between you and Tess on the bench.
“Pretty soon, like in a month.”
Shiloh gasps and looks over at Gia, “Mommy, you should have another baby.”
Gia scoffs, “Yeah, I’ll think about that.”
“I have a goat named Nancy.” Shiloh says, looking up at Tess.
Tess laughs loudly and looks at Shiloh, “That is a wonderful name.”
Gia sighs and looks at Shiloh, “Love, we should get going. Mama will be home soon and you probably want to show her your cool butterfly face, huh?”
Shiloh hops off the bench and flaps her arms as she walks back over to Gia, “Yes, mommy.”
“Hey, you,” you call out to Shiloh, and she turns around, “Are we still havin’ a pool party tomorrow?”
Shiloh squeals loudly as she jumps up and down, “Yes!”
“It was nice to meet you, Shiloh.” Tess says, then she looks at Gia, “You too!”
Gia reaches out to shake her hand, smiling, “Yeah, you too.”
You watch as Shiloh wraps her arms around John’s neck and hugs him, and you smile as big as you can when John hugs her back. He taps her on the nose, then he watches as she flaps her arms and runs down the sidewalk in front of Gia.
Tess sighs loudly and sits back a little on the bench, “So, when are you two going home?”
“Uh, two days, I think?” you say, looking at John as he nods, “Yeah, two more days. Kinda sad to leave it all behind, but Mill Neck will be having their summer festival soon, so we have that to look forward to, you’re due next month, John and I have a wedding to plan for. So much stuff is coming up. I guess it’s best that we kinda get back to our lives, huh?”
“You’re planning your wedding already?”
You shrug and look at Tess as you begin to smile, “I have a day set in mind, which I’m going to keep to myself until I talk to John about it. We want something small for the ceremony. I mean small. Smaller than yours, so probably only about 15 people. Maybe even less.”
“That’s a good idea though. You know, just people that you care about.” Tess nods.
You shrug again, “Well, John won’t have many people there and I don’t want it to just be our family, so it’ll probably just be mom and Dan for the wedding. Then I suppose more extended family for the reception.”
Tess stands up from the bench and stretches her back, “Hey, babe, we’re gonna walk around a bit, okay?”
Jimmy looks away from John and nods, “Yeah, I’ll be here.”
You smile at John and touch his shoulder as you walk past him. Tess is starting to waddle, and her belly is seriously showing today. She looks pretty damn cute. You wouldn’t even know she was pregnant unless you saw her bump though.
“Sorry, I have to get up and move.” she says, looking at the booths as you walk past. “He’s moving so much lower, and I’m getting so much bigger lately. He’s ready to come out, I’m hoping I’ll make it to 40 weeks at this point.”
“He wants to meet his mommy.” you laugh and look at a booth with jewelry, “Oh, these are cute bracelets.”
Tess holds up a necklace with an F on it and smiles, “I think I’m gonna buy this. How cute is this?”
“Very cute.” you look through the jewelry more, and you suddenly remember Shiloh telling you that John needs a ring. “I wonder what John’s ring size is.”
“Can I help you?” the man who owns the booth ask, looking at you.
“Uh, well, I want to get a ring for my fiance, but I don’t know his ring size.” you laugh and point at a ring, “That one looks nice. It’s just kind of plain, but I like it.”
“I think Jimmy was like a 10. John is probably like, a 11.” Tess smirks, looking at you, “He has thick fingers.”
You roll your eyes as Tess laughs, “Yeah, I’ll just get a few different sizes.”
You pull the money out of your purse, then you tuck the rings away so John won’t see them. Looking over your shoulder, you see Tess standing at an ice cream stand, so you walk over to join her.
The two of you head back over to John and Jimmy, who are still sitting on the grass and talking. John tilts his head back as he laughs, then he looks over at you and reaches for your hand as he gets off the ground.
“Hey, peach.” he smiles, leaning down to kiss you, “You got ice cream.”
“Mhm.” you nod, giving John some.
Tess leans against Jimmy’s shoulder and smiles, “You two aren’t leaving anytime soon, are you?”
“Hell no,” John laughs, “There’s a whole lantern thing happening later.”
“Wait, a lantern thing?” you look at John, and a smile spreads across your face, “Like the lantern thing I told you that I wanted to do a long time ago?”
“Yes.” he nods, then he reaches for your hand as he begins walking away.
__
The field is full of kids running around and people sitting on blankets. You didn’t know you were coming here, so you didn’t pack a blanket, but John, of course, did. He sets the blanket down on the ground, then he sits down and pulls you in between his legs.
The sun has started to set and the breeze is beginning to get colder as a result. You shiver a little as you lean back in John’s arms, and he wraps them around you more to keep you warm.
Tess is sitting on the edge of blanket, looking at everything she bought at the festival, “Oh, I got this cool cute little rock thing that looks like a ladybug for mom. Thought she’d like it in her garden. I got…a necklace, you were with me when I bought that. I got this cool painting that we’re going to put in our living room, but it’s in the car.”
“Yeah, it’s like a cool painting of a tree.” Jimmy says, watching Tess look through her stuff.
Tess looks up at you and smiles, “What did you get?”
You look at Tess and tilt your head back as you think, “Uh, I got some flowers, which are in the car. Probably dying. I got some soaps, John got this cool sign with a W on it. We can put it on our front step, or in the garden in the front of the house, that’d be cool. John and I got these cute little stockings for Christmas that say Mr. Wick and Mrs. Wick.”
“What?” Tess gasps, “Where was that? I want one for us!”
You point across the street at the Christmas booth, “Literally right there.”
Tess looks behind her, then she looks at you and rolls her eyes.
“I can walk back and get us one.” Jimmy suggests, “It’s just across the street.”
John nods, “I can go with. Grab us something to drink.”
“Oh,” you tilt your head back and look at John, “Okay.”
John presses a kiss to your lips, then he stands up and walks with Jimmy across the street. You watch the two of them until a big group of people block your view and you lose track of them. You turn back to Tess as she smells the candle she bought, and she holds it up to your nose.
“Smells good.”
She nods, “That is does. So, you had no idea that we were so close?”
“Tess, I literally almost had a panic attack when I woke up the other day because I had no idea where I was.” you say, looking at her, “I was like…hiding in a corner when John found me.”
“I told him not to do that.” she laughs, “I told him ‘don’t surprise her like that, John. She’ll be freaked the fuck out’, but he clearly didn’t listen.”
“He almost cried when he realized how scared I was. I felt so bad, and he’s just been clinging to me every day since. I felt bad because he felt so fucking bad. He’s been trying to make it up to for days now. I can’t deny that it really is sweet that he did that though. I had picked the tree house for you, I figured you and Jimmy would think it was cool. But I guess when John realized how much I liked it, he changed his mind and brought me to it instead.”
Tess laughs, “See, this is why I adore him. He’s so sweet.”
“He is.” you nod as you look at Tess, “It’s almost like neither of us want to go back to Mill Neck. I mean, we do, we love our life there. We own a book store, we can’t just…leave. But I don’t know, I think it’s starting to kind of settle in that our lives are going to change soon.”
Tess furrows her brow, “Your lives are going to change?”
“Well, yeah, we want kids. It’s not just going to be John and I anymore.”
“Trust me, it’s not as dramatic as you’re making it out to be. Jimmy and I can’t wait to have Finn. It’s gonna be fun!” Tess puts everything back in her bag and laughs quietly, “Gia’s nice, by the way. Shiloh is so adorable.”
“God, I know. Isn’t she?” you laugh as Tess nods her head, “She was smitten with John the moment she saw him, told him that he could have one of her bandaids for his cuts on his cheek.”
Tess puts hand over her heart, “That’s so cute.”
“Yeah. I won’t lie, I think John somehow knew they had a daughter, so he planned this whole thing. I already said yes to babies, I don’t know why he’s pushing it so much.” you laugh.
“Have you decided when you want to have a baby?”
You nod, “I want to start trying soon. I really want to get pregnant within the next year. I told Jimmy that I don’t want Finn and our baby to be far apart in age since you and I obviously aren’t, and you and I are closer because of it. We’re only a few months apart, but obviously that’s not going to happen since I’m not pregnant.”
“Imagine you and I both pregnant at the same time.” Tess shakes her head as she laughs, “The boys would have their hands full.”
“They really would. Maybe the next time around for you.” you smile, perking up when you see John walking back over. You notice he has a bag in one hand and he hands it to you before he sits down. You take it from him and smile, “What’s this?”
“Just a little something for the future.” John says, sitting down behind you again. “It’s for the both of you.”
You set the bag between you and Tess, and you both reach in to pull out two little gray stuffed bunnies. You smile as you look over at John, then you lean back to kiss him.
“For the baby.” he whispers in your ear, and you nod your head as you hug it tight to your chest, “I saw it and thought it’d be cute to give to our baby someday.”
Tess smiles and holds up the bunny, “They match. That’s so sweet. He isn’t here yet, but Finn will love this.”
You lean back in John’s arms and hold the bunny close to your chest when you see several lanterns floating in the sky. Several more begin to float through the sky, and you sit up a little when someone walks by selling lanterns.
John reaches into his pocket and pays for two for you and Tess, then he sits down next to you, “I don’t know what to do with these.”
You laugh and reach into your purse for a pen, “Well, I don’t know either, but I know sometimes people write wishes and stuff on them. We could do something like that. I don’t think there are any rules.”
“Do what you want, John.” Tess says as she writes on her lantern. “I’m writing something about my amazing husband and my baby.”
You look at John and laugh, “Yeah, do what you want, John.”
“Okay.” John says quietly, then he takes the pen from you and writes on the lantern. He stops writing to read what he’s written so far, then he begins to write again. He smiles to himself, then he looks up at you and hands you the pen, “Your turn!”
“Can I read what you wrote?” you ask, and John nods his head. You scoot over a little closer to John and smile as you read what John’s written.
To my beautiful fiancee, you have changed my life more than you’ll ever know. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and thank my lucky stars that you’re in my life. I will be forever grateful for you and for the life that we have, and for how you’ve accepted me for me. You’re my girl, and you’ll always be my number one. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, and I can’t wait to see what our futures holds. Yours always, Jonathan.
You look up at John, who is looking particularly proud right about now, and you reach out and cup his face, “I love you.”
“I love you more.” he smiles, then he presses a quick kiss to your lips, “Your turn, baby.”
“Oh, right.” you tap the pen against your head as you think about what you’re going to write. To be honest, you’ve been out in the sun all day and your brain is kinda turning to mush, so you hope John won’t be too offended if you don’t put too much into it.
Jonathan Charles Wick, I don’t know where to even begin. I love you endlessly, and I am so beyond happy to have even met you. I don’t know how I got so lucky, and to this day, I still don’t understand what you even see in me, but I’m glad you see something worth your time. I can’t wait to marry you and fill our home with even more laughter and love, and so many babies! You’re going to be the best husband and father, and I can’t wait to see you tackle these roles. I love you so much. Yours always, peach.
“There.” you smile and tuck your pen back in your purse, “I will admit, I’m a bit sleepy, so it might be kinda shitty. So, I apologize.”
John looks down at the lantern to read it, and he smiles when he gets to the end, “You call that shitty?”
You shrug, “Not as good as yours.”
“Bullshit.” he laughs loudly and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, “It was perfect, and ten times better than mine.”
“Well, thank you. I’ll take the compliment.” you laugh, tilting your head back to kiss John.
The two of you stand up to light your lantern, but before you let it go, you and John both pose for a picture. John has his hand over yours as you hold the lantern and he presses a kiss to your cheek.
“Ready?” he asks as you nod, “Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three…”
Watching the lantern float into the sky, it joins the others and you lose sight of it as it’s swallowed up by the other lanterns floating nearby. John wraps his arms around your waist and the two of you continue to stand together and watch the lanterns filling the sky.
__
“Tonight was so much fun.” you say, propping your feet up on the chair in front of you.
“It was. I liked the lantern festival, the sky looked so cool.” John steps onto the balcony and places his hands on your shoulders, “It was fun to let one go with you.”
You tilt your head back to look up at John, and you smile when your eyes meet, “I agree.”
John leans down to kiss you, then he moves to sit in the chair next to you as he takes a sip of his beer.
“So, remember the other night how I said I had something really important to talk about, then I just joked that I wanted dessert?” you ask, and John nods his head. “Well, I really did have something important to talk about, but I didn’t really know how to go about it and how to even bring it up.”
John furrows his brow, “Now I’m really intrigued.”
“I say we get married this fall. I have a specific date in mind, so you let me know what you think about the fall.”
John nods, “I think fall is great! Won’t be too warm or too cold. The colors in the fall are nice.”
“I was thinking that maybe September 5th would be a good day.” you say, and the smile on your face grows when John realizes. “It’s our anniversary of the day we met, and I think it’d be kinda sweet. It has meaning to us, I don’t want it to be just some random date. I mean, I know that you give a random day meaning when you get married, but I don’t know. Is that dumb?”
“No, no, I think it’s great.” John smiles and presses a kiss to your cheek, “I think it’d be a great day.”
“So, September 5th, you and me?”
“You and me.” he nods, looking at you, “You think a little over two months is enough time for you to plan a wedding?”
“Yeah, plenty of time.” you say, nodding, “I want our ceremony to be small and intimate, so that’s no big deal. And I want our reception to be pretty laid back.”
“Again, whatever you want to do, I’m fine with.” he says, laughing a little, “I just want to marry you.”
You look at John, holding his gaze, then you lean over to kiss him, “I just want to marry you, too. I can’t wait to see how handsome you look. I bet you cry when I walk down the aisle.”
“Oh, I will.” he laughs, nodding his head, “I definitely will. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride ever.”
You look down as you smile, then you look up at John again, “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about, but I’m really kinda nervous.”
John scrunches his eyebrows in confusion, “Don’t be nervous, baby.”
Taking a deep breath, you let it out slowly, then you look up at John, “We’ve been talking more about babies lately, and if we want to get pregnant within this year, and we want to get married in September, I was just thinking…”
John nods his head, waiting for what you’re going to say. He looks so nervous, you just want to hug him tight. You reach over to the table and grab the bunny that John had bought earlier, and you smile as you look at it.
“I was thinking that maybe it’s time I stop taking my birth control. Now listen, we won’t get pregnant right away, I need to be clear about that. It’ll take my body a few months to get back to its normal rhythm, but…I don’t know. What do you think?”
John widens his eyes and smiles, “Really?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m due for my period next week, but after it’s done, I don’t plan on going back on birth control. I’ll probably schedule an appointment to make sure everything is okay…in that area, and then maybe my doctor can kinda…I don’t know, tell me when I could get pregnant. I’ve been on birth control for so long that my body will be a little out of sorts for a few months as it adjusts to me not taking it anymore.”
John sits back a little and looks at the ground as he processes what you just told him.
“Is that okay with you? You still want to have a baby, right?” you ask as you move to sit in his lap.
He looks up at you and nods his head enthusiastically, “Yes! Of course, peach, yes! I’m just…speechless. I can’t believe so much is going to happen over these next few months.”
“I know.” you laugh, “Tess and Jimmy having a baby, the shop, us getting married, us trying to get pregnant, I don’t even know what else could happen in between all of that, but it might be a little stressful. Think we can handle it?”
John looks up at you, holding your gaze for an intense moment, then he leans up to kiss you, “I think we can handle anything.”
“Wanna know what I think?”
He nods, “Yeah.”
You take a deep breath, leaning back against John’s chest, “I think you’re a very, very cheesy man.”
“Where do you want to get married?”
Shifting in John’s lap a little, you turn around so you can see his face, “I was thinking just the backyard would be nice.”
“The patio still has all the lights up.”
“Actually,” you smile and shrug, “I have an idea, but at the end of the day, it’s your house. I know what you’re about to say -- that it’s our house. Yes, I know, but my idea…isn’t a simple one.”
John laughs, “Okay.”
You move back to your chair and scoot it closer to John, “So, I was thinking, well, we never use it, and I don’t have no intentions of using it, but the tennis court…”
“Yeah, waste of space.” he nods, sighing a little.
You shrug, “Yeah, but I thought maybe we could just…tear it down and use that for our wedding. I don’t know. We could put some canopies up and hang lights from it, then after the wedding, we could use it when we host barbecues and stuff. If it’s a dumb idea, tell me. And please, don’t be afraid to say no. It is our home, but you lived there first, so please say no if you hate the idea.”
“No, I actually think that’s a great idea. When are you and I ever going to use a tennis court? I can’t see you out there.” he laughs, then nods his head, “It’s a great idea. We could get someone to come and lay down some bricks maybe, and we can have some trees planted out there so we have some shade as well.”
“Get a nice little fire pit for out there, and after the wedding, we can get some nice chairs and a love seat for out there.” you smile and scoot closer to John, “It would be perfect for our wedding, for a…baby shower. Birthday parties.”
“Okay, okay. You’ve twisted my arm enough.” John teases.
You laugh loudly and sit back in his lap as you kiss him, “We can talk more about wedding shit later. I can stress about all that when we get home. Until then, I just want to sit in your arms and look at the stars.”
“That’s a good idea.” he whispers against your cheek, then he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight as the two of you look up at the dark sky that’s scattered with stars.
__
@tnu-ree @dangerouslystrangecrown @weird-civilian @callmeglenncoco @sanctuarygirl @meetmeinthematinee @jessicajones616 @artistic-discontentment @cheekybluefox @jazzyboo2001 @starsstripesandthesouth @a-small-independent-princess @thepastrecedes01 @rubywantsafuitgummy @sterekislyf @lostandfaceless @sweetgoodangel @racharr @star017 @ladyren33 @whatcolourisanorange @lunaticgurly
#john wick x you#john wick imagine#john wick x reader#fic: hold my hand#oh to be at a lantern festival with jonathan wick
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5 and 6 ✨
Ooh these are fun ones! Sorry for taking so long with this
5- Do you believe in ghosts and supernatural things?
I absolutely do! 100%, hands down, no question about it.
6- Have you ever experienced anything supernatural?
Ohhh boy, have I! I honestly don’t know what story to choose. I’ve dealt with ghosts, I’ve dealt with a Trickster, I have a spirit guide, I’ve experienced time shifts or glitches in time, I’ve astrally projected, and seriously felt (my bf witnessed) that I slipped into another dimension momentarily though that could have just been another weird projection.
Let me just say, I have been dealing with (for lack of a better word) the paranormal since I was young. It’s always just been normal to me (lols) and a huge reason I am so drawn to the show Supernatural, and unlike my skittish boyfriend, this shit gets me pumped up.
The most thrilling(?) story, just off the top of my head is probably how I met Ron (Trickster/Attachment).(and this got longer than I expected so I added an insert)
So, okay, I’m really really gonna try and keep this short and if anyone wants to know more I’ll delve deeper, but bottom line is that a couple friends of mine live about 15-20 minutes out of town, right? They own a good 2.5-3 acres of land, but behind their property is just the states forest. And I live in Oregon, okay? So trees are everywhere.
When they bought the place, there was a little, mini travel trailer sitting on it, and I wish I had pictures of it for you, but this trailer looked like it exploded from the inside out. So we all kind of just thought, you know, this is out in the middle of nowhere, we have found a few pipes for the kind of smoking that is definitelyyyyy not legal in Oregon, if you know what I mean. And inside the trailer, aside from glass shards everywhere, was just a stove, a sink, a sleeping bag on the bed, more mini, camper stoves and a huge monitor for a desktop computer. So we assumed, drug cook gone bad turned explosion, but that was just, of course, a theory.
I was wasted when I went out there for the first time, so my already hightened senses were through the roof but I was also vulnerable as heck. The second I laid eyes on it, different emotions started to swelter in me. I detach myself from the group (psa-never leave your group) and went to the other side to wrap my hand through the window, and link it around the frame of the door (both open) and the second I did this, literally the best way I can describe it is every emotion I have ever felt in my entire life flowed through me in a matter of half a second, and I fell to the ground, cutting my hand and arm in the process, bleeding and crying everywhere. A single piece of glass stuck in my hand and I, being stupid, kept it as a keepsake, cause why not right? Psh.
I ended up seeing him one night in person and then in a picture (that ended up turning all black?) and it scared the ever living shit out of me. He was like a mix between a short slender man and a skeleton. Like, imagine that, and the skeleton face had huge, iris-less black eyes, high cheek bones, broken and missing teeth. It looked like he had skin, but instead of the mannyyy layers a human would have, he had like 2. I don’t do the terror justice.
So a few weeks go by and everything is fine and normal, but then strange things started happening at home, but i didn’t make the connection until years later. My roommate, R, slept in the living room to be colder at night, and above where he slept on the wall was the fire alarm. He said for 2 or 3 nights in a row, in the middle of the night, that thing would speak in a low, and deep male voice but he couldn’t understand what it was saying. So he took it off the wall, it did it again. We took the batteries out, it did it again.
I was, and still am, really into chakra/healing stones, so I spent hours researching what the best stones to use would be, (for example: Jade works great for the heart chakra, so I put it where the batteries would go, Soladite-throat chakra, placed it where the speaker section is on the alarm) cleansed them, meditated on them and then placed them all on the alarm over night with it by my bed. Essentially my plan was the cleanse the alarm and like, rebirth it? I guess? Idk I was scared and didn’t know much, but after a couple of nights it worked, he gave up, but that was the first sign.
Fast forward like 2.5 years of depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies, when it became clear to me that he didn’t need my help and was actually depleting my energy, I tried to get rid of him and that’s when he dropped the “I need you, help me cross over” face and actually showed how evil he was.
Some nights, when I felt his energy around me I would just squirt holy water I bought from a church in Nevada (lol) in the general direction that I felt him and hope it went away. Some nights I was genuinely terrified to go into my room, (I didn’t know he was attached to me at the time) and would drive around town until the sun came up.
He’s growled at me, at my sister, at our friends. He made us all feel so uncomfortable when we were home alone that I genuinely did not want to be alive anymore.
Trigger warning: unwanted, physical touches
Imagine what it would feel like if someone placed their hand an inch above your arm, or just place your hand over your other hand without touching them and glide the hovering hand up to your elbow. You can still feel it, the energy? One night, trying to lay down and go to bed, I felt that, starting at my ankles and by the time it reached just above my thigh I realized what was going on and muttered something about it not having permission to touch me, and to leave at once.
Ya girl still jumped the heck out of bed though and slept on the floor of her sisters room.
This is pretty long now, sorry, I just haven’t shared that story with practically anyone and saw the chance. There is soooo much more I could say but I’ll end it with this; I am not one to fear ghosts or the unknown and I recognize that communication between human and the average ghost can actually be really wholesome. I think of it as just two people talking with a veil between, but when you cross over into the evil stuff (demons, tricksters, etc.) that’s like meeting a serial killer on the internet and asking them to meet you alone in a dark alley. That shit is terrifying.
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Take Me to Church Chapter 23: Forward
Fandom: Gorillaz
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: 2doc
Tags: Car Accidents Angst Hurt/Comfort Drugs/Alcohol Implied/Referenced Suicide SuicideHealing Everything Hurts
Summary: The band is back together, but things are… weird to say the least. But when a crisis arises, can they pull it all together and be a family again?
Link to other Chapters on my Blog!
The First Session - Stuart
“And what are your goals for therapy?”
So far, this session with his new therapist was going well. It wasn’t much different from sessions he’d had in the past, she’d asked him for some information, he’d told her about his past, and now they were talking about goals. Only 2D hadn’t really thought about why he was going to therapy, aside from encouraging Murdoc to go.
“I uh, I don’t really know,” he admitted, biting a nail. “ I was mostly jus’ comin’ because Murdoc said he would.”
She added a note to her file. “OK. Well, is there anything you’d like to work on?”
Stu thought for a little while, before remembering the incident in the kitchen. “I get scared, sometimes. About Murdoc, but also other things.”
“Hmm, I understand. You feel that in certain situations, you’re more afraid than you should be?”
“Y-yeah! Even when I know I’m safe I jus’...” he trailed off with a shrug. Since the time in the kitchen, he’d been noticing other little reactions that didn’t always make sense. One time Murdoc laughed loudly at something on the TV, and he immediately tensed up, afraid. Another time, Russel had dropped a cup and the smashing glass nearly frightened Stu to tears.
“Alright, is there anything else?” 2D thought back again, but couldn’t really put his finger on a specific thing.
“I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t think of anything.”
She made a few more notes, then closed her book, smiling. “Well, that sounds like a good place to start then!” They talked for a few more minutes about things before time was up. 2D left feeling relatively relaxed and a little bit hopeful.
It wasn’t a very long drive home, and within an hour he was stepping through the front door of Wobble Street. He was greeted by Katsu, who wound his way between his legs, purring loudly.
“‘Ello little buddy,” he cooed, leaning down to scritch behind the cat’s ears. When he straightened up again he saw Murdoc at the foot of the stairs, leaning against the wall. “Hello to you too, Muds.”
“Hey there, Bluebird,” the bassist drawled. He was wearing trackies and a tight-fitting t-shirt, his hair still mussed from sleep. The corner of his lip twitched like he was suppressing a smile. 2D didn’t bother hiding his, beaming at the other as he walked forward to wrap his arms around him.
“Someone’s happy to see me,” the singer teased, letting one of his hand's fiddle with the ends of Murdoc’s hair. The bassist did smile at that, craning his head up to mouth at Stu’s neck and jaw.
“Very happy,” he growled before beginning to suck a hickey into the taller’s neck. 2D gasped, then groaned as Murdoc worked, giving himself over completely to the older’s whims.
“M-Murdoc!” Now the bassist had a hand at the front of Stu’s pants, kneading at the burgeoning hardness there. 2D really, really hoped Russel wasn’t home.
“Shall we take this upstairs?” 2D nodded fervently, letting Murdoc turn and pull him up the stairs. He felt a little bit like a teenager again, silly and randy without a care. It was nice, to let loose like that sometimes.
Murdoc’s room was closest. The door was only just closing behind them as Murdoc sank to his knees, expertly unbuttoning Stu’s jeans and nuzzling against his crotch.
“S-shit Muds! G-gimmie a warning next t-time!” he squeaked. Murdoc chuckled lowly, moving to mouth at the singer’s cock through his briefs. 2D made eye contact with him and moaned.
“Woke up and you weren’t here,” Murdoc murmured, working Stu’s jeans and pants down and over his feet. “Wanted to feel you so bad, I couldn’t help myself.”
The singer hissed as Murdoc took him into his mouth, devilish tongue squirming around the tip. To anchor himself he threaded his fingers through Murdoc’s dark hair, knowing the bassist wouldn’t mind. As expected, the slight tugging made Murdoc whine, his eyes slipping shut in bliss.
Between the hot suction and the lewd noises Murdoc was making, 2D was a groaning, shaking mess in no time. He started thrusting his hips a little, and to his delight Murdoc immediately gave up control, letting the singer set the pace.
“So good--oh God M-Mudoc You're making me cu--!” White-hot pleasure burst from his core, forcing a shout from his lips. Murdoc took it all with a moan, the vibrations making everyone so much sweeter. By the time he stopped shaking and had the brainpower to look down, Murdoc was gasping through his own orgasm, hand in his pants and face pressed into Stu’s thigh.
“Holy hell,” he laughed, running his hands through Murdoc’s hair fondly. The bassist echoed the laugh with his own, slightly out of breath but no less pleased. They rested there against the door for a while as they both caught their breath, the space between them warm and close.
The Second Session - Stuart
He was late for his second session. The night before he’d been having trouble sleeping, so he’d taken some of his sleeping pills and then slept through the alarm and Murdoc’s inquiries. Then he’d been groggy and disoriented through the whole morning, not to mention his head had been hurting more than usual. Since he’d run out of headache pills earlier in the week, and finally realized how much of a dependence he had on them, he’d been trying to take less but it was so hard.
By the time he got into the therapist’s office, he was 15 minutes late and nearly in tears from the stress. He walked in and immediately sat down with his knees drawn up and fingers tapping away on his knees. She didn’t seem surprised by his state and waited for him to say something.
“So I--” he started, before stopping again to think. What was he going to say? “I-I don’t--”
“Would you like a glass of water?” she asked. When he nodded she got up and went to the water cooler, handing him a paper cup filled with cool water. He drank, letting the chilly liquid calm him down. When he was done his breathing was more regular, and his shakes had stopped.
“Thanks,” he said, crushing the cup in his hands. “It’s been a rough mornin’.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Well,” he began ripping the paper cup into little bits, “I couldn’t sleep las’ night so I took some pills, and then I slep’ through my alarm. And my head was killin’ me, but I don’t wanna take my headache pills because I know I’ve been takin’ too many.” It all came out in a rush, like each word crawling over the next.
“You haven’t been taking your migraine medication at all?”
“Not really, unless it got so bad I couldn’t do nothing,” he answered, shrugging. Her eyebrows pinched together in concern. He’d had two headaches this week that had been so bad he couldn’t get up or move, and only then did he let Murdoc or Russel feed him his medication.
“Stuart, it’s dangerous to quite any medication so suddenly, especially if you’ve become addicted.” He looked down at his shoes, still shredding the cup.
“I-I didn’t think it was gonna be this bad,” he admitted quietly. Each time he’d gone without his pills he’d been knocked on his arse by chills, nausea, and pain until Murdoc or Russel stepped in. “I didn’t notice I-I was takin’ so many.”
“It would be much safer to taper down to an appropriate dose,” she suggested. He knew that too, but...
“I dunno if I can do that myself… and I don’t really wanna give all my pills to Muds.” The memory of Murdoc’s most recent overdose was still too fresh.
“What about Russel? I’m sure he’d be happy to help you.”
“I don’t really wanna bug him though..” he trailed off. 2D knew that if he asked Russel wouldn’t mind, but he was still worried about annoying him. Russel had so much going on with his own life, was it really fair to ask him to help even more?
“Why don’t you ask him, and then if he says no we’ll figure out what to do from there?” He nodded in hesitant agreement, mostly because he didn't see any other way. “How was your week, otherwise?”
2D thought back. “Alrigh’ I guess. We visited Noodle again, though Murdoc stayed home. He, uh, he seemed pretty worked up after his first visit here but he was mostly alrigh’.”
“That’s good to hear. How is Noodle doing, and how are you doing since she’s been in the hospital?”
They talked a little back and forth, Stu sharing a couple of things, his therapist making suggestions here or there for ways he could do things differently. They talked a lot about Murdoc, and how their relationship was going. When the session came to an end he was feeling pretty relaxed, if not a little worn out from his headache, and he was glad when she finally closed her notebook and walked him out.
“Stu I’d like you to try keeping a journal. You can write whatever you like in it, but I think it may be helpful for you to be able to look back on your feelings from time to time.” He shrugged and agreed. He already had a music journal, maybe he could just use that.
Outside he sat on the curb and pulled out his phone. Since he hadn’t been feeling so good Murdoc had offered to drive him, which was a miracle in itself. The bassist had been on his best behaviour, following the speed-signs and stopping at every stop sign. For Murdoc it was nearly an unheard of amount of courtesy, and 2D made a mental note to thanks him. Then he made a physical note in his phone, knowing that if left to its own devices his brain would almost certainly throw out that bit of information.
He sent a quick text to the bassist to let him know he was done, then lit a fag. A slightly more intense twinge behind his eyes made him wince. He didn’t want to have to ask Russel to manage his medication on top of everything the drummer was already doing. Russ had enough on his plate with Noodle and Murdoc to worry about without Stu adding himself to the pile.
But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taking too many pills when the pain got bad. And from there it was a slippery slope to taking them when it was a little bad, then to taking them when he was feelin’ upset. He knew that if left to himself he’d go right back to popping his medication at any chance he got. So he’d have to ask the drummer for help.
Murdoc pulled up to the front of the building and honked the horn twice, jolting Stu out of his thoughts and making his head throb. He’d been to caught up in thought to notice the little headache he’d had was turning into a much larger problem. Crushing his smoke under his shoe, he ambled around to the passenger side, getting in. Murdoc shot him a questioning look at the way he curled forward in his seat.
“You ok there Stu?” he asked, keeping the car in park. 2D shook his head no and blindly reached to the dashboard, searching for the pills he knew Murdoc kept there. The bassist caught on quickly, finding the bottle and tossing a few into his hand and holding it out. The feeling of pills sliding down his throat dry was a familiar one.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, curling forward even more. The headache he’d had in the office was slowly turning into another migraine. It would take a while for the pills to kick in, and those weren’t going to address his nausea. The pills he usually took for that were back at home, but the idea of the car moving was enough to set his stomach rolling.
“Is it a bad one?” Stu grunted a yes. It was too bright out, and he pressed his palms into his eyes until all the light was blocked out. After a few seconds, he felt the car shut off, and heard Murdoc unlock his seat belt, followed by the feeling of cold hands against his scalp. It felt so good.
“Here, take my jacket and put it over your head,” Murdoc said, handing the leather over. “At least until those pills kick in." It wasn’t completely dark under the coat, but it was better than nothing. Murdoc kept his hands stroking through 2D’s hair and gently massaging the tight muscles in his neck. The jacket smelled like Murdoc, and Stu tried to focus on that as he let the pills dow their job.
Within an hour the medication kicked in and 2D felt safe buckling himself in for the ride home. Murdoc gave him a gentle half-smile and made sure to take the least bumpy paths. Stu watched the world outside his window go by in a medicated haze, feeling like he hadn’t really made any progress. Maybe after he asked Russel for help he’d feel better? It was worth a try.
The Third Session - Stuart
“You’ve mentioned Plastic Beach a few times since we first met. Could you tell me a little more about it?” Fuck. She knew, she had to. He’d tried to be sneaky about avoiding the topic, mentioning it here and there in passing, but she’d still picked up on his reluctance.
“I-I don’t know what you want me t’say,” he answered, looking away. He’d never been very good at lying. He already felt the word vomit creeping up his throat. “I-it was pretty b-bad, but i-it’s over. I’m o-over it.”
“What made it so bad?” his therapist asked, making a few notes. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He really didn’t want to talk about Plastic beach now; he wasn’t ready. He hadn’t prepared, he--
“M-Murdoc,” he stuttered out without meaning to. But once he’d started, it was difficult to stop. “H-he was h-horrible t’me, the w-whole time. H-he hurt me. A lot.”
Stu was breathing heavy now, the familiar prick of tears stinging his eyes. “A-and I know he w-wasn’t right then. H-he was sick. B-but…”
She was watching him now, he knew. It was pretty obvious she had some idea of how bad Plastic Beach had been, either from Murdoc or through the internet. “But I--I still t-think about it. I-I have dreams.”
“Does Murdoc still hurt you now?” she asked, voice a tiny bit harder than normal. He could see the relief on her face when he answered.
“N-no. He hasn’t since we came back, except for in one of our videos. B-but that was fake…” the hit with the shoe had still hurt a little, though not as much as it could have for sure.
“Have you talked to Murdoc about it?”
2D didn’t want to answer, because he knew that she’d tell him he should talk about it. Everyone was always pushing him to talk about it, to get over it, but he wasn’t ready--
“It’s OK, if you aren’t ready to yet,” she said instead. He snapped his head up to look at her and only then noticed he was crying.
“I-I,” Stu croaked. His throat wasn’t working, he wanted to talk about it so bad but he couldn’t yet. “It s-still hurts. I can’t y-yet.”
She nodded and handed him a box of tissues. “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, Stuart. You’re the one who sets the limits.” It felt good to be told he didn’t have to be ok, that he didn’t have to be open and willing to talk about what were frankly the worst months of his life. “You are an adult, and if you trust Murdoc now to not do what he did then, that’s your choice.”
“T-thanks.” He blew his nose and sniffed a little, smiling just a bit. “I know I-I need to talk about it eventually, b-but… Not now.”
“Do you have anything else you want to talk about today?”
Later that night, long after he’d gotten home and crawled into his bed, Murdoc tiptoed through his door. Normally they spent most of the day together, but after the session he’d had, well he needed some time alone. It honestly surprised him that the bassist hadn’t come in before, knowing how Murdoc didn’t always respect personal space very well.
“You awake, D?” the bassist whispered into the dark space. 2D thought about not answering and continuing to wallow.
“...Yeah.”
He could hear Murdoc’s quiet breathing and the sound of bare feet against carpet. “Can I come in?”
The promise of warmth and comfort was enough to draw him out of the covers. “..Yeah.”
Murdoc closed the door and slid under the covers, right behind Stu. How could that warmth be both everything he needed and everything he didn’t want at the same time?
“D’you wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
If Murdoc was surprised by his refusal, he didn’t show it. Instead, he gently slid an arm around the singer’s waist and pulled him close. “OK, Bluebird. OK. Why don’t I tell you what Russel and I got up to today instead?”
“OK,” Stu sighed, happy to listen to the other prattle on about whatever if it meant they could stay the way they were. He felt comfortable, and secure, and maybe a little bit hopeful. But he was also kind of sad, and a little bit angry. Maybe that was part of it, part of getting better.
#takemetochurchfic#2doc#murdoc niccals#Stuart Pot#tw suicide#tw violence#tw car accident#tw DRUGS AND ALCOHOL#tw hospital
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WIP Prep Tag Game
Tagged by: @hazeywrites thanks !!
Rules: Answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! Even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.
Note: I’m doing this for Presque Vu because,,,,it’s a good way to rearrange some thought about it hahaha
FIRST LOOK
1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch).
Girl tries to rob her work place for the fun of it, whilst there it turns out she robs the local mafia boss and a gun fight breaks out - she gets pulled under cover by a strange man and finds she can’t find it in her to distance herself. The rest of the novel is her just going along with him and his partner cal as they do increasingly weird things like drive around aimlessly at 2am or try and become God.
2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)
stand alone :)
3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?
late night poker games, flickering lights, puddled cobble streets, the feeling of unbridled freedom that comes with being knee deep in bad, drunken decisions
4. What other stories inspire your novel?
pretty obviously American Gods, v v recently the Raven Cycle and partially in aesthetic wise, Baz Luhrmann’s ‘romeo and juliet’
5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel.
MAIN CHARACTER
6. Who is your protagonist?
I write in the pov of the character Meg so I guess she’s the protagonist even tho it’s more of a group effort hhaha
7. Who is their closest ally?
undoubtedly either Bacari or Cal. With Bacari I’d say she has the relationship one has with a naughty stray cat - full of affection but also continuous annoyance disguised under hatred.Whereas with Cal, I’d say it’s more like shes his younger cousin he has to babysit and he’s not entirely sure how to deal with the whole situation.
8. Who is their enemy?
their poor life choices (i actually don’t know - i defo need an enemy to further the plot whoops)
9. What do they want more than anything?
I think with Meg what she really wants is freedom - to see how far she can push that autonomy, what she can do with it, where it can go. Cal wants what he used to have and Bacari, not that he’ll ever say it out loud because he masks his actions under boredom, but really just wants others (mainly Cal lets be honest), to be happy.
10. Why can’t they have it?
spoilers ;)
11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?
Cal thinks he a horrible person and can’t be redeemed, Bacari thinks he’s unlovable and Meg is under the impression that her problems are able to be solved through material means when in reality they can’t.
12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)
I,,,can provide you with a string of adjectives loosely connected through conjunctions (because ha u guessed it! that’s my writing style haklfjfl long, drawn out, loosely resembling a novel by a victorian writer who you wish would shut up about the same thing, and very badly planned)
Bacari: His features alone were enough to cause pause with his pursed lips, bone etched fingers and eyes that could only be described as resembling Homer’s wine dark sea
Cal: His eyes were an interesting shade of what could only be described as a browned bottle of cider, with features that could be described as universally beautiful provided they were what you found yourself longing for. When he spoke, Meg found herself grasping for a depiction before ultimately deciding to describe his voice as sticky - sticky in the way fingers get when dipped in honey or when a lollypop pulls everything alongside with it
Meg: holy shit I’ve never described her before red hair loosely flung about with the care of someone who wants to shave their head, untied shoelaces under the guise of ‘fashion’, chipped nail varnish, grass stained mom jeans and the most hideous shirt you can think of
PLOT POINTS
13. What is the internal conflict?
Meg constantly wrangles with reality and her ideal life, especially alongside her desire to just leave everything behind (when in reality she doesn’t really). Cal has a lot of internal struggles in the fact he refuses to forgive himself for prior actions and Bacari is just Bacari and doesn’t know how not to be.
14. What is the external conflict?
I think it goes without saying that nobody really jumps for joy outta the idea of these three morons trying to become God
15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?
the confrontation of reality
16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?
;)
17. Do you know how it ends?
:/ oof shot through the heart at this question
BITS AND BOBS
18. What is the theme?
mythology as a whole is v prevalent in all honesty - I’m honestly not even subtle with it. my spoilers aren’t even spoilers it’s just,,,,common knowledge once you read it
19. What is a recurring symbol?
I actually don’t know in all honesty
20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)
a dumb made up town called Wellden of which I haven’t developed or thought of much so there’s not much to say about it
21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?
I really should do but no, I usually do when inspiration strikes and I have enough to pass however
22. What excited you about this story?
just everything! it’s something new for me to play with -that being said though, I can tell it’ll take me forever to write hahha
23. Tell us about your usual writing method!
I usually work best when doing writing sprints but other then that I don’t usually tend to write much unless I’m inspired or aware of what I want - writing for me is a hobby so I kind of treat it like one, especially since I’ve got school and all that alongside it :)
Tagging: @ratherinterestingmilkshake @srazar @stegladent @furybloods @endymions @acheloides @nmcwriting @youngdumbxlit @bzrtales @androcalia
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In More Ways Than One
Request: Can you do a Peter Parker one where him and reader struggle with teen pregnancy?
Warnings: Drinking, mentions of sex (NOT smut), pregnancy
Pairing: Aged up Peter Parker x Female Reader
Genre: Fluff !!
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: I got this request sooo long ago and it’s just been sitting in my drafts oof!! I hope this lives up to expectations :) I want to take a second to clarify that consent is CRUCIAL and that this in no way should be taken literally. It’s completely fictional loves
You can find my masterlist here !!
Peter was a friend of a friend. You didn’t know him super well, but you had met him a couple times. He was nerdy in a cute sort of way that you were drawn to. You wanted to get closer to him, but you knew that one of your best friends had a massive crush on him. Not wanting to upset her, you kept your distance. That being said, you didn’t see any problem with having polite conversations with him in a non-flirtatious way.
“Pete!” you hollered out the window one day as you pulled into the school parking lot. “Stay right there, I have something to tell you!” You grabbed your things hurriedly and ran the the sidewalk where he was standing.
“What’s up?” he laughed. “If this is about the finale of The Good Place I don’t want to talk, I didn’t get a chance to see it yet.”
“Are you kidding me?” you exclaimed. “Parker, you had one job. You’re killing me.”
“I was busy!” he said in an attempt to defend himself. “I’m sorry I don’t have unlimited free time. I’ve got... I’ve got the internship, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed him. “Speaking of free time, what are you up to tomorrow night?” He blinked a few times before answering, making you slightly worried.
“Depends on why you’re asking,” he said slowly.
“Oh shut up, I’m not asking you on a date,” you laughed. “There’s a party at someone’s house. I’m being dragged there, so I thought I’d pass the favor onto you. It would be nice to have someone to commiserate with.” Peter considered your offer for a moment before eventually agreeing. You grinned and waved as you went your separate ways. You hated parties, mostly because you were always left by yourself to stand in a corner. Your friends didn’t mean to ditch you, but they always did anyway. It didn’t hurt your feelings at all, but it made you dislike the entire party scene.
When the time came, you decided to ask Peter if he needed a ride. You had gotten your license already and decided to extend the invitation to him. You felt relatively bad for forcing him to go, but you were happy to finally get to spend some time with him. The two of you had a lot in common, and you thought that you might become good friends. At school he was a bit of a mystery because the entirety of his focus was on the internship he had with Tony Stark. You had already figured out that something was fishy, but you didn’t pry. You were just happy to have him around.
“I already know I’m going to hate this,” Peter grumbled as he climbed into your passenger seat. “You definitely owe me one.”
“Oh, whatever,” you laughed. “We can make it fun. You wanna play a drinking game when we get there? Every time they play shitty music we take a shot.”
“That sounds fair,” he said with a small smile. “You better not get drunk though, I still need a ride home.”
“No worries, I have it under control,” you said. “One of my friends is already the designated driver just in case.” This was good planning on your part, especially because the two of you were absolutely trashed almost immediately after walking in the door. You couldn’t remember how much you drank, but judging by how much the room was spinning you could tell it was quite a bit. Peter’s face was totally red and he was giggling uncontrollably at everything you said.
“You don’t understand!” you hollered over the music. “Lando was the best character in the entire movie, Solo would have been garbage without him.”
“Y/N I’m not gonna lie, you’re so hot right now,” he replied. You blushed furiously and punched his arm.
“Oh stop,” you laughed. “Besides, someone might hear you and think we’re dating. That would be bad news.”
“So what? I think you’re cool,” Peter slurred. “I-I even think that maybe sometime we should date. Unless you don’t like me, but you seem to sort of like me so I thought-”
“I do sort of like you,” you interrupted. “I sort of like you a lot.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. You hadn’t ever really thought about Peter like that, but you were realizing that you really did have a crush on him. You started to second guess yourself, nervous that you’d mess up the friendship that you had built with him. If things didn’t work out, you didn’t know what would happen. You decided that more alcohol was the answer, and Peter did the same.
One thing lead to another, and before long you were absolutely plastered. You remembered him whispering something in your ear that you couldn’t quite make out and him turning redder than he already was. A few minutes later you recalled following him upstairs. After that everything went black.
When you woke up in the morning you felt like absolute garbage. You opened your eyes and immediately squeezed them shut after discovering how much the light burned. After a moment you finally looked around, trying to comprehend your surroundings. You were in a bed that didn’t belong to you in a house that was not your own. You looked down and saw a guy laying on his stomach with his face in a pillow. That was when it dawned on you. Your jaw dropped and you stumbled out of bed to discover that you were wearing nothing but a t-shirt. Peter’s t-shirt.
“No way,” you exclaimed breathlessly. You ran quickly but silently to the connected bathroom and locked the door. You stared at yourself in the mirror, your chest rising and falling quickly with your ragged breaths. There was no way that would have had sex with Peter, it was impossible. Thankfully you were both 18, but you couldn’t remember any details about what had happened. You started to pace, wondering if you had taken precautions or not. You wished that you could just remember. Eventually you realized that you had to talk to Peter about it. It was possible that he remembered it, and it would put your mind at ease. You cautiously exited the bathroom to find him still fast asleep.
“Pete,” you said gently. You nudged his shoulder and pulled the shirt lower down over your body simultaneously. “Peter, wake up.” He groaned and rolled over, his eyelids finally fluttering open.
“Y/N?” he asked, his voice raspy. “Where are we? What happened?” You just stared at him. You simply couldn’t find the words. He looked at you, looked at himself, and looked at the pile of clothes on the floor beside the bed.
“Holy shit!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to… Did I… Holy shit.” You put your head in your hands in an attempt to hide how much you were blushing. This was the most embarrassing moment of your entire life. A moment of awkward silence passed before Peter gasped loudly.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he gushed. “Was it your-your... Oh god, I’m the absolute worst. Y/N, I didn’t mean to. I don’t remember anything at all, I hope you aren’t upset. I hope it wasn’t bad-”
“Peter, it’s okay,” you assured him. “I’m not upset, I’m just overwhelmed. Everything’s fine, I just want things to go back to the way they were. Can we, you know, pretend this never happened?” He nodded and that was that. You still needed to drive him home which was a bit awkward, but from that point forward neither of you brought it up again. Things were kinda weird between you, and eventually you stopped talking. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him or that you regretted sleeping with him that much. To be honest, you did like him a lot. It was just so unbearably uncomfortable. From that morning on, your interactions were always pleasant but brief.
That was, up until a few weeks later. Ever since the incident you hadn’t been feeling your best. You were constantly tired, irritable, and nauseous. You thought it was just a hangover, but the symptoms didn’t pass. Panic ensued, and after you missed your period you feared for the worst. You ran over to the drug store down the block and bought a pregnancy test. You stared at the wall for at least 15 minutes before finally checking the results. You already knew what it would say, but your stomach dropped all the same. The test was positive.
You knew you had to tell Peter, but the thought terrified you. You rehearsed what you were going to say at least a thousand times, but you still couldn’t gather the courage to call him. You had absolutely no idea what his reaction would be, and it scared you to no end. You didn’t even know what you thought about it, the only thing on your mind was Peter. Eventually you summoned the courage to call him, and he picked up on the second ring.
“Y/N, hi,” he said when he picked up. “How are you doing? I feel bad we haven’t really been talking lately, that’s my fault. I, uh, I’m doing the internship and stuff, plus homework’s been crazy…”
“Listen, I really need to talk to you,” you said, biting your lip. “I think that maybe we should be together. Do you think you could meet me somewhere?”
“Sure,” he said slowly, and you could sense the confusion in his voice. You told him to meet you at the bagel place near your house and went to meet him there. Before leaving you threw on a baggie sweatshirt. You didn’t look pregnant just yet, but you still wanted to cover up as much as you could.
You got to the restaurant a little bit earlier that Peter, but you weren’t waiting for long. He showed up a few minutes later panting and a little sweaty.
“Are you alright?” you asked, stifling a laugh. “You look like you just ran a marathon.”
“M-Me? No, I’m fine. It’s really nice to see you.” He was a bit of a mess, and you felt even more nervous to deliver your news. Peter was still rambling on, and you took a moment to really look at him. Despite being sweaty, he did look very nice. He was wearing a flannel underneath a sweater which would’ve been weird on anyone else but was charming on him. His hair was messy, but messy in the way that many people try to achieve on purpose. His eyes sparkled, and they gave you butterflies. That or you were going to be sick, which you really hoped wasn’t the case.
“So anyway, what did you wanna tell me?” You were pulled back to reality and cleared your throat.
“Okay,” you began. “I know we decided not to talk about it, but we kind of have to now… That night at that party, it was a mistake. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have made you go. It’s all my fault, I messed everything up.”
“I actually was thinking something else,” Peter piped up. “Y/N, you’re really cool. I don’t regret it. I mean, yeah it probably would have been better if we could at least remember, but I wouldn’t have had to guts to tell you if I was sober. I like you. I like you so much, and I wish that I could go back and tell you before it got so… Messy.” For some reason, tears started to form in your eyes. You stood up and threw yourself into his arms, burying your face in his chest. He stumbled back but quickly wrapped his arms around you tightly.
“Pete, I’m pregnant,” you whispered. His grip on you tightened a little, not in a way that hurt but instead in a reassuring way.
“I figured,” he replied. “I’m fine with whatever you decide to do. I want you to be happy, and I’ll be there with you no matter what.” Tears really did spill this time, and you let out a shuddering sob. Peter pulled back a little and held you at arm’s length. He smiled, and you felt yourself smiling too.
“I know I just said that I’m good with anything, but I really do think you should keep it. I have a feeling you’d be a really cool mom.”
“Really?” you laughed. “I was just thinking about how cool of a dad you’d be.”
“I guess we’ll find out,” he said and pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn’t a sloppy, drunk kiss like before. It was a kiss from a boy who would do anything for you. Even raise a kid. That’s when you knew he was a real life superhero, and eventually you found out that it was in more ways than one.
Tags -
@radicalstars @ketterdame @xfandomimagines @nebulaeofpie @girl-obsessed-with-things @allthingsfandomdudes @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme@aridinosnore @no-good-ideas @ohmystars30 @fangirl1220 @cutie1365@huggingholland
#ahhhh i hope you don't hate it#this is kinda intense lol#peter parker x reader#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker angst#peter parker fluff#spiderman#spiderman fluff#spiderman angst#spiderman x reader#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland fluff#tom holland imagine
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Franz Ferdinand 8-8-18
one of the best concerts i’ve ever been to and basically one of the greatest nights of my life.
sorry this is so long i just love them so much!!!!
I got to the venue around 5:30 when doors weren’t even going to open until 7. Even as I sat outside with only six people ahead of me in line, I was SO anxious about getting front row and I was really afraid that I wouldn't make it. I know this sounds weird, but when they let us into the theater and I bolted for the barrier and actually got it, I felt like I could finally relax for the first time in months.
I loved chatting with the people around me on the barrier! I don’t know any Franz fans in real life so it was nice to be able to talk to people about them.
I really enjoyed POW! They were fun. The keyboard player was cute as hell and her outfit was adorable. I was dying laughing at all the people in the audience who kept randomly yelling POW!!! between songs.
It was surreal when the lights finally went down and they came out. Bob and Paul first, then Julian and Dino...and then Alex, casually strolling onstage with his guitar in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. This video says it all. ♥
I was so happy they opened with Always Ascending! It's one of my absolute favorites of theirs and I feel like it's a great opener with the way it builds up. My memory of this song is a fucking blur because I was mostly just standing there attempting to process the fact that holy shit, this is happening, they're real!!!!! They're fucking real!!!!
They played Come On Home next (which I wasn’t expecting at all!!!) and they dedicated it to a woman in the front row, Reese, for her birthday. :’) Such a lovely song and the fact that they played it for her is amazing.
Alex had to stop during the second verse of Walk Away because he was having some sort of sound issues...they finished the song, but afterwards he had to walk over to the sound guy to get something fixed and he told the other guys to jam and told Bob to start lmao. So they all started awkwardly jamming and laughing and it was cute af.
When Alex came back they played The Dark of the Matinee which was AMAZINGGGG. The intro with Julian and Dino and Alex all on guitar??? So fucking cool. This was the song that sort of lowkey got me interested in them last summer (shoutout to @flakybandit ♥) which made it even better.
Come and dance with me...come and dance with me...now cOME ALL OVER ME MICHAEL
Lazy Boy is so much fucking fun!!! Alex played that shaker thing during the intro (idk what it's called) and then just fucking...flung it onto the floor behind Bob and it landed with a soft chhhk and I was dying. It was also cool to watch him counting out the 10/4 time signature in the middle of the song!
Alex held my hand during the second verse of Glimpse of Love!!!!!!!! aaaa
It took me a second to recognize Lucid Dreams when they started playing, because I'm more familiar with the version on Tonight, but when I figured it out I fuckin lost my shit. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH.
I was still reeling from hearing Lucid Dreams and then they fucking started playing EVIL EYE. SAJDJSDJ OH MY GODDDD. This song makes me so fucking happy. Screaming “IT'S RED YA BASTARD!!!” is definitely a life highlight.
I know I said that DotM is the song that got me interested in them last summer, but Do You Want To is the song that finally got me hooked on them this spring. I lost my mind a little bit haha. So much fun. They really drew out the “lucky lucky” part, which I loved. Alex was so into it dsjfjsf. Like yeah, Alex, you know what? I am so lucky. ❤️
Ulysses though ;o; I’ve loved that song from the moment I first heard it. I was a junior in college when it came out and I distinctly remember listening to it while walking around campus, rewinding the “you’re never going home” part over and over because I just loved it so much...yeah. Finally getting to hear it live was incredible.
The first song of the encore was Finally!!! This song means a lot to me for various reasons and I'm so happy I got to see it live. The whole band stopped playing during the little breakdown part in the middle of the song and Alex encouraged the audience to sing along. It was quiet because most people didn't know the song haha but he tried. (God, how it feels good to be with people like me.)
Feel The Love Go. Oh my god. I know I say this about a lot of Franz songs but I honestly think this is my favorite song of theirs. Back in May, when I was first getting into FF, I had a really horrible day at work. I felt like such a failure and I honestly wanted to give up and quit teaching forever. I remember listening to this song that night and the next day, and that was the first time I really paid attention to the lyrics. “For the things that you do are not who you are.” “Think of a friend and wish them love. Think of an enemy and wish them more.” It sounds ridiculous, but it spoke to me at a time when I really needed to hear it – and it kind of put some things in perspective for me. I love it so much. It gives me such a good feeling every time I listen to it. And it's so good live!!! Alex's dancing is impeccable, and I absolutely love when he gives his fucking sermons on feeling the energy and the love in the room tonIGHT!!! Fucking magical. ♥
One of my favorite things about concerts is how the energy in the room changes when a band starts playing their most popular song. The Killers with Mr. Brightside, Duran Duran with Hungry Like The Wolf, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones with The Impression That I Get...everyone just seems to come alive. That's how it felt to hear them play Take Me Out. I love it sosososo much. It takes me back to being 15, in a good way haha. Alex and Julian and Dino jumping at the beginning is cute as hell. I love those bouncy boys.
I'm pretty sure Julian noticed me at one point during Take Me Out, since he was in Dino's spot... I smiled at him and did a heart with my hands and he smiled :D
This Fire was insaneee. if you haven't seen FF play it live go check it out here (not my show but it sounded pretty much exactly the same). I loved the extended guitar jam in the middle! When Lexi and I were outside later talking to Alex, she told him how much she loved this version of the song, and Alex said he thought it was great, too! He said it's not always so drawn out, it all depends on whether he and Dino hit the right groove or not, and tonight they did. :D
Getting down on the floor and watching them through the barrier and then jumping up and dancing my ass off is another experience that I'll never forget. Part of me regrets not taking any videos of this, because it was fucking amazing, but I knew I had to just experience it. (Oh, how I burn for you. <3)
Some more random observations from during/after the show:
Alex came back out for the encore with a second mug of tea
When he introduced Dino he referred to him as “the man that is loved by every cat in the world” :')
Julian has the longest legs known to man
Also Julian kept randomly giggling throughout the show jdsfjds so cute
Paul and Bob were so far away :( but it was cute to see them looking so focused and intense!
Alex has a nice butt. Thanks for coming to my TED talk
When Dino and I took our picture he leaned his head into mine (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
When I went to take my selfie with Paul we did that awkward thing where we both put our arms up so he was like “Here, I'll go up” sdjfsfj :’)
I wanted to talk more to Bob but I didn't know what to say! At least I got to tell him that the show was amazing and he thanked me :) What a cutie.
This is going to sound weird I think but like...Alex looked really nice in the dim glow of the streetlights in the alley? It really brought out his eyes or something haha. He's just so stunningly beautiful, and it's even more pronounced in person. <3
I almost didn't tell Alex how much their music has helped me this year. Lexi and I had taken our pictures and she was talking to him and he looked like he was about to head over to someone else and I knew it was kind of a now or never thing so I just...fucking did it. He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder and told me how much he likes hearing things like that and he hopes that next year will be better for me. :)
I was SO nervous to talk to them, especially Alex, but they all instantly made me feel at ease. They're just as lovely as everyone said they would be. If any of you ever have the opportunity to meet them after a gig, do it. They’re so kind and genuine and you can tell they enjoy getting to talk to their fans.
It’s been a week since I saw them now and I’m not gonna lie, I’m sad and I miss them so much. Weirdly, though, I’m comforted by the fact that even though I don’t know where or when, I’m going to get to see them again (and maybe even meet them again!) and that’s enough to keep me going. ♥
#franz ferdinand#if you read this entire thing i love you and i'm sorry lmao#i love one (1) band#ff8818
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about that "ask me" post: I cant really choose between things so do em all ;3?
._. Holy shit that’s a lot but since I like talking about myself *cracks fingers* let’s get to work.
1. My ex is a very nice person, but she had a lot of stuff she was going through at the time. I didn’t feel that I could be the partner she needed at a time like that, so we broke up.
2. I’m not old enough to drink.
3. My mom accidentally got me a softcore porn book with the most generic name in the world, and to this day I don’t think she knows. I never told her.
4. Just her first name. Alina. She used to be my best friend when we were kids.
5. Gods I don’t remember and I don’t care to search through my phone to figure it out.
6. Can’t remember to be honest I laugh a lot but not long enough to qualify as losing my shit.
7. I don’t keep such a list. I’d like to attend a concert of an artist I like but I don’t actively go looking for one unless I’m making specific plans to go see them. I’m a rather boring creature, aren’t I?
8. A Scottevest jacket and a Swiss Army knife. The jacket is fuckin expensive though ugh so I’ll just stick with the knife.
9. I can belt pretty well but I don’t do much of the singing, I leave that to my betters.
10. Ooof that’s tricky. Probably Dark on Me by Starset.
11. He was in my class, something totally out of my control.
12. Reading a new slew of books, hopefully Aru Shah and the Song of Death.
13. Fairly recently when I abandoned reason when arguing with an unreasonable salty fucker and salted him so bad he probably isn’t coming back.
14. One was a deep purple, with little gray veins criss-crossing over its surface. It had small hairline cracks running through it but when the light is too extreme I can’t even see them. The other is damp and mossy, lumpy to the touch. It has this sort of... pulse in my hand. Or am I imagining it? I must be.
15. a/b/o dynamics and ties.
16. Some asshole almost suffocated me back when I still skiied by sitting on my face.
17. “Everyone is entitled to their own sorrow, for the heart has no metrics or forms of measure. And all of it... irreplaceable.“ - RWBY White Trailer
18. Once upon a time me and Caly saw a book floating around and read it. It was a bad idea.
19. You really gonna make me choose? Kane Chronicles, Throne of Fire.
20. I just go with it. I’m not an especially deep thinker. The flow is the flow and I go with it until it makes me upset.
21. no
22. “Ashes to the groundFall the wrong way roundI will let you downI know I know”
23. I dunno I haven’t taken them out for a while they might be delicate.
24. Selfie that a friend made into a meme.
25. It’s spread too thin, you can’t find all of it at once.
26. Happier, 2002, Dark on Me, Telepathic remix, whistle while I work it, Mr. brightside, B-Team, Kids in the Dark, I’m a Mess, Bad Bitch
27. @meghanlovesash
28. made a mix Cd for me and hung it from my ceiling when i was sleeping.
29. I mean... it hurt. Not that bad though, a bit spicy.
30. The sitting on face thing.
31. The Diet Coke scene from Heroes of Olympus
32. An ant.
33. Yes it’s made too many I love feel bad.
34. I don’t have a death wish I’m not stealing Ash from Meghan he’s too emo for me.
35. Never have.
36. No, haven’t had any dreams lately...
37. It was human skin and drawn in blood. I dare not say more. It had to go.
38. *shrugs*
39. A living sword made of silver and gilded with starlight.
40. The one who made the horizon.
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Butterfly Soup Asks #18
I’ll be spending the week of Thanksgiving in Taiwan w/ relatives, so I tried to answer as many as I could ^^; It’s my first time there in around 10 years so I’m really excited! I would do the rest on the plane but I don’t think I’ll have wi-fi...
Highlights of this batch: The squad’s Halloween, pets, and Ester info
Yup! The others finally convinced Noelle to go trick-or-treating for the first time
Diya and Min matched, Diya was Red Riding Hood and Min was the Big Bad Wolf. Min got to wear a wolf mask that went over her head
Noelle: But that doesn’t make sense as a couple’s costume. The wolf wants to eat Red Riding Hood
Akarsha: :^)
Akarsha went as Guy Fieri
Noelle is boring so she was a doctor. She basically looks the same as normal except wearing a lab coat
While trick or treating, Min started complaining partway through that she was thirsty and drank sprinkler water even though Noelle repeatedly told her not to. She immediately spat it out and went “YUCK!! TASTES BAD” apparently it tastes like mud
A few times, Akarsha ran ahead of the gang and jumped out at them from behind bushes. Noelle screams, Diya jumps back, and Min reacts like this
Min dared Akarsha to lick a mailbox and she did
One house’s decorations were too good and Diya got scared
Noelle didn’t want most of her candy so Diya got it
Diya doesn’t have a dog yet in high school -- she’s always begged for one but her parents knew they’d be too busy to handle it. So their house has a fish tank with guppies
Akarsha had a pet snail in elementary school but accidentally killed it when she tried to wash it with shampoo. She still mourns it. The way she talks about it made Noelle believe for a long time that Akarsha had a deceased sibling or other close family member and she got mad when she found out it was a snail
Hayden’s had a dog since elementary school, much to Diya’s delight and jealousy
Yuki has a hamster
Liz has 2 cats. They’re siblings, one of them has a crooked tail
Chryssa doesn’t exactly have pets, but her family runs a wildlife rescue/rehabilitation center. They mostly pick up birds but also get other critters like possums and skunks. They even have a hawk there
Ester is just as much a weeb as Sakura and Yuki, but tries to hide it because she worries about how other people see her and wants to be perceived as normal. Whenever they talk about anime she acts like she’s too cool for them but is actually really interested. She set all the anime and vocaloid songs on her iPod to Skip on shuffle so that if someone else happens to listen to it, they won’t hear any.
She has friends but isn’t anyone’s Best friend -- they all have someone they like more than her and she thinks about this a lot
knowing she wouldn’t wear it, I never bothered to design one for her haha
I imagine that she’d want a dark colored one, and only wear one strap bc she thinks it looks cooler like that
Yes, I really want Butterfly Soup 2 and my other future games to have their own soundtracks of music written for them! Feel free to send me examples of your work and rates! Once I properly start development for them I’ll probably make an open call for musicians too ^^
During the story Min doesn’t know about alternative pronouns like they/ze/ey yet, so she currently only uses she/her. In the future, she still mostly uses she/her but will also be fine with they/them
They’re both 17
Yup!
Secret for the reasons above, sorry!
It’s funny because there’s only 2 reactions to Min’s height, with almost no in between:
HOLY SHIT I DIDN’T REALIZE SHE'S SO TINY
I related to her bc I’m small too, but she’s 5′1″?? IM NOT EVEN 5 FEET TALL I FEEL BETRAYED
This is a common enough sentiment that I really want to make it happen. I’ve found decent places that make custom hoodies for Diya’s jacket, but I still have yet to find a reasonably priced option for custom bomber/letterman jackets. If anyone has places they recommend please let me know!
In high school I wanted to be an artist but my parents didn’t approve of it, so I didn’t really know what I wanted to do yet. UC Berkeley is considered the best UC to a lot of Asian parents, so it was just naturally somewhere I wanted to get into.
It wasn’t until I actually got into USC that I found out game design majors even existed. It was insanely lucky that I happened to go to a college that had such a well known game design program
I’ve said a bit about this on twitter before, but that part of Min’s story was inspired by things my friends and I experienced growing up. Most stories about fictional bad parents come in 2 flavors:
The parents see the error of their ways in the end and aim to be better
The kid escapes from the parents and lives happily ever after
But in reality, it’s often not that simple. Sometimes your parents never change and there’s no easy way out, that’s just how it is and you have to live with it. So I wanted to show characters who have to bear with it, and at the end of the story are still bearing with it, but are able to find happiness despite it. I wanted people like that to know they aren’t alone in never getting a storybook resolution to what they went through and it’s ok
It is a difficult subject to handle, and it was a challenge figuring out how to realistically show Min going through this without being gratuitous about her suffering. A lot of people like my beta testers were happy seeing a character having the same arguments with her parents as they did, but everyone reacts to things differently and I hope that the trigger warnings prevent too many people from being blindsided by it
you’d be surprised at how small of a space you can fit in! ...not that I endorse getting free meals like this. kids don’t try this at home
oh?? Do you mean PC Gamer? I haven’t seen an IGN one yet :o
oh no! I’m sorry it’s doing that :(�� dam u tumblr
I’m not sure what this means but it sounds right
SFDJHKJ I actually don’t think she would, I feel like it’s not the right vibe for her if that makes sense
They were mostly drawn in Clip Studio Paint! It goes on sale for as low as $15 every few months and it’s my favorite drawing program atm
I generally welcome Lets players, it’s fun seeing them enjoy the game! I specifically dislike Pewdiepie, though. I don’t know a lot about Markiplier, but I don’t think he ever played Pom Gets Wi-Fi?
I’m really touched that people like it enough to replay it, it’s only been out for 2 months!! Thank you!!
You’re welcome!! I’m really really happy you appreciated it!
It makes me so happy to see it too!! You’re welcome, thank you for the message ;u;
You’re welcome!! I’m always really glad to hear people relate to Diya ;u;
You’re welcome! I hope you like the game!
You’re welcome!!!
Thank you! I’m really glad you liked it :>
You’re welcome! Thank you for playing it!!
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PeyongChang
Words: 2K
Genre: AU, Fluff, tiny bit of angst, figure skaters AU because I love myself
Summary: Phil is at the Olympics for the last time figure skating, and he meets Dan Howell, an new skater who’s headed for the stars.
For: @elixir-phan ! I hope you like it!
_________________________________
Phil felt an almost bittersweet excitement fill his chest as he walked down the streets of Pyeongchang’s Olympic Village. It was beautiful, like all Olympic Villages were, but this would likely be the last time he got to see them, at least as an athlete. He wasn’t so naive as to think that a sport that had competitors as young as 17 had much room for a for a man over twice that. Honestly, with the way his knees had been aching for the past year, it was a miracle he managed to get in at 31. Still, he’d had a good run, and all there was left to do was make sure this was his best year yet.
He was drawn out of his thoughts by a fierce buzzing in his pocket. He opened the text and rolled his eyes at the message from PJ. They’d only just landed and PJ already wanted him on the ice practicing. He shot back that he still needed to put down his luggage in his room, and he’d be right there. His coach hadn’t seemed exactly thrilled by the prospect and warned him that their booking window was small, but Phil shoved his phone in his pocket and ignored it. He’d been doing this for 12 years; he knew shaving off a few minutes of practice time this late wouldn’t change anything.
As always, check in went by like a breeze and Phil made his way up to the dorm, only to find his roommate for the next two weeks already unpacking. Phil didn’t claim to know everybody in the figure skating community, not even just those in the UK, but he swore he’d know those brown curls anywhere. Daniel Howell was new to the scene. He’d only been skating professionally for the past five years, and at 27 he was by far the oldest person on his first Olympic team. But he was good. He’d been keeping track of Dan since he’d first started competitive skating, and he was more than just impressive. When he’d heard Dan had made the Olympic team, he’d felt oddly proud in a way he couldn’t quite describe. He cleared his throat to make a proper introduction.
Dan’s head snapped up and he stared at Phil with wide brown eyes. “Holy shit,” he choked out in a voice that sounded almost reverent. “You’re Phil Lester. I mean, I knew there was a chance I’d be rooming with you, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen. Holy shit.” He continued to stare open mouthed for a moment before he flushed and remembered himself. “Fuck, sorry. I’m–”
“You’re Dan Howell,” Phil interrupted with a wide smile. “I know. I’ve been keeping up with you since before you tried for the team in ‘14.”
Dan flushed somehow darker. “Sorry, you know who I am? I think I need to sit down.”
Phil laughed, a warm feeling fluttering in his chest like it always did as he sat on his own bed across from Dan’s. He didn’t get stopped on the street or anything, but he knew he was a pretty big deal to a lot of figure skaters, and this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. “Yeah, I saw your performance at Worlds and it was amazing.”
“I didn’t even place, though,” Dan pointed out, his brow furrowing.
“Doesn’t matter,” Phil shrugged. “You just had an amazing amount of potential and skill. You’ve gotten even better since then. Did you get a new coach?”
Dan nodded. “Uh, yeah. Her name’s Louise. I’m going to have to find a new coach, though, because she just had her second baby, and she’s decided to retire. I’m honestly just relieved she didn’t ditch me in January when she gave birth.”
“Nah, I doubt she’d do anything like that. The Games are almost as important to the coaches as they are to the players.” Phil sighed and leaned back. “I’m definitely going to miss it.”
Dan furrowed his brows. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’ll be too old for this by the time the next Games roll around,” Phil shrugged.
“That doesn’t mean anything!”
Phil chuckled hollowly. “Ah, actually, it kind of does. There’s a few people who manage to keep it up past my age, but they’re few and far between. Let’s face it: I’m a figure skating dinosaur. Besides, I haven’t placed higher than silver in any competition in over a year. They’re going to get younger, fresher skaters for the next team, and I can’t fault them for that.”
Dan looked like he wanted to argue, but even he could face facts. “Would it be weird if I said I’m going to miss you?” At Phil’s confused look he elaborated. “I’ve been watching you since you skated in the Olympics in 2006. You were kind of the whole reason I got interested in competitive skating in the first place.”
Phil sat up straight, and it was his turn to gape at Dan. “You mean to tell me that you didn’t even start skating until you were 15?”
“I mean, I was interested in it when I was really little and took a few classes, but it wasn’t anything serious until then, no.”
It was Phil’s turn to gape and stare, but he soon let out an almost amused half-chuckle and shook his head. “Dan, you’re actually pretty amazing.” Before Dan could say anything, Phil’s phone rang, angrily reminding him that his coach was still waiting. “Sorry, I’ve got to go. I hope we get to spend some time together before we’re sent home.”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Phil was embarrassed to admit it, but when he’d said he hoped to spend time with Dan, he’d only really meant it as a pleasantry. Something polite to say at the end of a conversation, not something to actually be acted on. However, it seemed the universe had other ideas. In addition to sharing a room, Phil found himself running into Dan quite frequently. They often sat together to watch the other athletes, inexplicably gravitated towards one another during meals, and they had quickly learned of a shared love of video games when they walked in on each other playing on several occasions. As such, he didn’t think it was weird or out of place for him to ask Dan to watch his skate. After all, he’d watched Dan’s earlier that morning and given him an incredibly proud clap on the back in response to his stunning skate. Dan had been flushed a bright pink between the exertion and praise and Phil had secretly thought it was a good look.
He just hadn’t expected to be so nervous.
“What happened out there?” PJ hissed as Phil collapsed on the bench.
“I don’t know,” Phil groaned. He had skated decently, but definitely not well. He hadn’t fallen or anything, but all of his moves were wobbly and he hesitated on the biggest leap of the routine. He’d be lucky if he made it to the second round. At a national level, he’d be at least mostly satisfied with his performance, but at the Olympics, even hundredths of a point could be the difference between a gold medal and not placing at all.
“You did amazing, love,” his mum gushed, pulling him into a hug and pressing a kiss to his hairline. PJ muttered something about waiting to see if the judges agreed, and they sat in silence other than Phil’s quiet panting. His score were announced and a polite round of cheers sounded from the stands and Phil gave a perfunctory thumbs up to the camera that panned to see his reaction.
70.60
It could have been better. It could have been a lot better, but he was still in the top ten and he had a guaranteed shot at getting to participate in the free skate and that was all that mattered. PJ looked like he wanted to say something, but he quieted when he saw the look on Phil’s face. With only a quick grin to his mum and coach, Phil wrested off his skates and made his way to the locker room to change back into his normal clothes. He changed with only a small grin to his fellow athletes who were also getting ready and made his way back out, only to be stopped by Dan.
“Oh, hey,” he said, forcing a smile. To be perfectly honest, he’d pretty much forgotten that Dan would most likely be waiting for him when he finished.
“You made it to the second round,” Dan grinned, a light bright in his eye. “I’m going to get to skate with Phil Lester.”
Phil rolled his eyes and gently shoved him. Over the past week, Dan’s hero-worship of sorts had grown into a private joke that Dan had no qualms about parading. “Shove off. We skated together twice during the team events.”
“This is more important,” Dan shrugged, and Phil had to agree. They were silent for a moment before Dan hesitantly asked, :Do you want to go up in the stands and watch the rest of the performances?”
Phil furrowed his brow. “Actually, I’d really love to go to our room and kick your ass at Mario Kart.”
Dan grinned, his eyes bright and sparkly. “I think we can arrange that.”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Phil watched in horror as the skater from Russia’s score was announced. He was the last skate of the evening, and he had a dazzling performance that gave him a score of 142.37 and put him in second place. Third place was 140.43.
Phil had gotten 140.40.
Bile rose up in the back of his throat and he blinked hard to keep the tears from his eyes. “You’ll do better next time,” his mum had soothed, but there was a waver in her voice that showed she was on the brink of tears as well. Beside him, PJ cast him a sorrowful smile and rested a hand on his knee and squeezed. He knew this was Phil’s last Olympics, even if his mum didn’t. This had been his last chance to win just one more medal for Queen and Country.
But some things just aren’t meant to be. He put his hand over PJ’s and squeezed back and gave him a smile. What’s done is done. His chest was tight with sorrow, but he smiled anyway. “12 years of being an Olympic athlete with two medals to my name? I call that a pretty good run.”
“I’ve enjoyed every step of it,” PJ said with a matching grin and wet eyes. Phil brought him in for a tight hug and settled back down to watch the medal ceremony.
When all was said and done, there was a figure skaters only party held in one of the halls of the dorm. Phil had politely made small talk with anyone who spoke English, but as always, wound up in the corner alone with the snacks.
“Is this seat taken?”
Phil looked up at Dan, flushed with delight and radiant as always. He grinned, shaking his head. “Have a seat.”
“Still bummed about the scores?” Dan asked tentatively.
Phil thought that over for a moment. Was he still upset? Yes, of course. Literally one improvement in either of his skates would have given him his third medal, and that left more than just a bitter taste in his mouth. But on the other hand, he felt almost like a weight had been lifted. “Not as much as I thought I’d be,” he answered honestly.
“That’s the spirit,” Dan beamed. He also hadn’t placed, but he’d come in sixth overall, and that was nothing to sneeze at for a first-timer. “You’ll get it next time. The world won’t know what to do with two British guys on the podium.”
“Not for me,” Phil said, smiling ruefully. “You’ll definitely make it if you find yourself the right coach, but I won’t.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “This isn’t the age thing again, is it? I told you, there have been plenty of skaters who stay in it into their thirties.”
“That’s not the problem. I’me retiring.”
Dan froze and gaped at him in shock. “You’re… retiring?”
He nodded. “Yeah, my knees aren’t what they used to be, and I want to be able to walk at 40. My coach and I talked about it, and this was my last skate.”
Dan looked at him in almost horror for a moment before he stumbled away. “I- I’ve got to go,” he tossed over his shoulder.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Weirdly enough, Dan seemed way more upset about Phil’s retirement than he did. He’d been practically inconsolable the night of the party, and for the remaining week, he would occasionally look at Phil like he was the tombstone of a beloved family pet. Luckily, Phil had managed to get him out of this idea soon enough. Having a friend who was mourning the death of your career all the time wasn’t exactly fun.
However, he hadn’t seen Dan all morning, and he was more than a little upset about it. He was leaving for the airport in less than ten minutes, and he’d hoped to see him one more time. But he’d woken up that morning to find Dan’s bed totally deserted with all of his stuff packed neatly away.
He was about to give up and leave without farewell when their dorm room door opened and revealed Dan, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon. “Before you go, I have something to ask you!”
Phil blinked. “Uh, sure. Whatever you want.”
Dan cleared his throat and stepped right up to Phil. It was closer than Phil usually let people, but Dan’s eyelashes were thich where they fanned over his cheek and his presence was warm in a way Phil couldn’t describe in a million years. “I’m actually kind of nervous,” Dan admitted, scratching his right arm. “Just hear me out okay? Just don’t laugh.”
Phil nodded. “I promise.”
Dan took a deep breath and began. “I know that you’re retiring, but I just wanted you to know that you’re the best skater in the world to me. I’ve worked for 12 years to get here and I finally met you and this has been the best two weeks of my life. I just wanted to ask- Oh, fuck me, I can’t do it.” Dan collapsed on the bed and grabbed his face in his hands.
Phil knelt before him and gently pulled at his hands until those striking brown eyes met his. “Tell me? Please?”
Dan stared into Phil’s eyes for a moment before letting out a weak chuckly. “Not to make this completely Yuuri!! On Ice, but will you be my coach?”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
In 2022 in Beijing, Dan waved to a crowed of screaming fans while “God Save the Queen” played over the loudspeakers. His cheeks hurt from smiling so wide and the gold medal around his neck was the best thing he’d ever felt. As soon as he was back on the ice, he flew to Phil as quickly as possible.
Laughing with delight, Dan felt his coach scoop him up in a fierce bear hug, lifting him off the ground. “I’m so proud of you,” Phil whispered in his ear.
The tears that had been forming since he heard his name get announced for first place finally spilled over, ad Dan grabbed Phil’s cheeks in both his hands and kissed him hard on the lips.
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YEAR-IN-BOOKS
I’m gonna go ahead and do this again this year, because I really like end of year reflection things and it was fun last year, so hey.
1. a book you loved?
I was fond of most of the books that I read this year and all in different ways. Last year was an absolute goldmine of awesome, amazing love this book forever types. This year I definitely had less of those, but I read more, and what’s maybe even better is that I also read a lot of books that I normally wouldn’t have. I wanna say that my favorites of the ones that I read were either The Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo or Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel.
2. a book you hated?
UGH. Artemis by Andy Weir. It is the first book that I have ever given only one star to on goodreads, and was a total waste of time. I’ve read a good half of The Martian, and even though I’ve yet to finish it, I liked what I read well enough. But as I said in my scathing goodreads review, The Martian worked for Weir because it’s one dude alone on Mars. Artemis, unfortunately, requires a full cast of characters and has a female protagonist. Weir does not know how to write women OR realistic dialogue, and following along with middle school grade humor and a woman that is basically a lady-sized cut-and-paste of Weir’s ideal wet dream. Which wouldn’t be bad, necessarily, if she wasn’t so obviously a man’s ‘idea’ of a woman, instead of an actual three dimensional character.
3. a book that made you cry?
There’s a scene at the end of Victoria Schwab’s Our Dark Duet that involves a cat. No, the cat does not die, and I don’t want to get into it because the whole reason the scene is sad is because of spoilery context, but I did end up tearing up because of that damn cat.
4. a book that made you happy?
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers is an absolute delight. It has legitimate funny moments, really well drawn out characters including several species that are so perfectly crafted that you can envision them, right down to the feathers and claws, and the story, while a little meandering, is totally great.
5. the best sequel?
I read kind of a lot of sequels this year, but then, I also finished a lot of series this year, period. My gut reaction is to say Siege and Storm, because it’s one of the ones that I read the fastest, and the series that sticks out the most. But I’m going to say The Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. And honestly, second up is probably Waking Gods, because holy wow, those books.
6. most anticipated release for the new year?
I’m really looking forward to Only Human, Thunderhead, and Vengeful, which are the sequels and triquels (is that a thing? that word should be a thing) to Sleeping Giants, Scythe, and Vicious, all of which I read this year and adored. The book that isn’t a sequel that I’m most looking forward to is Feeder by Patrick Weekes, which is basically about a lady that hunts monsters. It looks right up my alley and I’m super psyched.
7. favorite new author?
Technically I discover Schwab last year, but I did a lot of exploring of the books that she’s written this year and she is definitely a new favorite of mine. The other one that I’m keeping my eye on is Sylvain Neuvel, who wrote Sleeping Giants and Waking Gods. More on those books later.
8. favorite book to film adaptation?
So, the only reason that I reread A Wrinkle In Time is because of the trailer for the new movie that is coming out in March. I got incredibly excited, and am probably, if I can afford it, flying down south to watch the movie with my mom when it comes out. The Annihilation trailer also looks pretty cool, but I’m anticipating serious changes there. I did end up watching the film adaptation of Me Before You this year, which I’d read last summer. I ended up crying like a baby, and was pleasantly surprised by how much of the book they kept.
9. the most surprising book?
A Natural History of Dragons, by Marie Brennan. I’m not sure what I was expecting when I borrowed the book from the library, but it wasn’t the Pride and Prejudice with dragons that I got, and stupidly delighted by.
10. the most interesting villain?
The Grisha Trilogy, for sure. Honestly, Alina and the Darkling’s relationship was the only thing that kept me reading these books, and I was thrilled by the Darkling from the moment I realized he was the villain in Shadow and Bone all the way to the end. “Make me your villain,” indeed.
11. the best makeouts?
Okay, so Love For the Cold-Blooded was about a million times pornier than I imagined it would be, so that would get my vote for best sex, but there weirdly wasn’t much actual kissing involved. Also the fact that I didn’t like the characters or story very much probably didn’t help things. So honestly? Probably Shadow and Bone. That [SPOILER, though not much of one] scene where Alina and the Darkling make out against a wall was probably the most exhilarating scene of the entire series. Like, trust me. I know he’s the villain, bad wrong, etc. etc. but I shipped them hard.
12. a book that was super frustrating?
Slaughterhouse Five. I didn’t actually get around to finishing it, because the version that I got was an audio cd narrated by James Franco and I just. Didn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of traffic. I don’t know if it was the story, his voice, or a combination of both but I was super uninterested in the entire situation. I gave up somewhere in the middle of the second cd.
13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?
Okay, so the thing is. I don’t really have any friends. Not ones that I can talk to about books anyway, which is super tragic, because I love books and I miss being able to talk (read: rant) about whatever I’ve just read. I do it with Nick occasionally, but he doesn’t ‘get’ fiction so it’s mostly just me waving my hands a lot and talking rapidly in his direction as he nods and takes a couple steps back so I don’t accidentally smack him in the nose. I did, however, have a conversation with my roommate about Wool, and all the reasons why she should read it.
14. a book for the small children in your life?
Okay, but every kid should read A Wrinkle In Time. The sequels are a little... stranger than I remember, but I loved reading them as a kid, and I really loved rereading the first one as an adult.
15. a book you learned from?
Spunk & Bite was a guide to ‘punchier’ writing, and while I wouldn’t say that I really learned anything that I didn’t already know, some things were expanded on that I found interesting. I also read some of The Islamic Enlightenment, which was pretty decent from what I read of it but a bit much for my poor ADHD brain. I think I need to stick to fiction.
16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?
A lot of the books that I read this year were things that I wouldn’t normally pick up. I think the ones that were most out of my element were Less by Andrew Sean Greer and Before the Fall by Noah Hawley. The first book is about an aging author who, when upon invited to his ex’s wedding, takes a trip around the globe in order to get out of going. My manager, who I talk to about books a lot, asked about it and was incredibly confused since it’s so far from what I usually read. Despite this, it’s probably the book that I will remember most from this year a decade down the line. Before the Fall is similarly not my usual cup of tea, about a man and a boy who survive an airplane crash. It’s a thriller/mystery, but the characters are so beautifully fleshed out that it hooked me anyway.
17. a book with something magical in it?
Technically a good half of them have magic of some sort, because that is the usual type of book that I read. I’m going to go with All The Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater though, because all of her books are magical.
18. the best clothes?
As much as I would love to get away with wearing the brightly colored reaper’s robes from Scythe, I really, really adored the description of Arthur’s suit in Less.
19. the most well-rounded characters?
That was a theme of the books that I read this year. They all had really gorgeously well-rounded characters with intricate backstories and relationships. Before the Fall was really, really good about it, as was Station Eleven, and The Secret History, though in the case of that last one you almost don’t want to get to know the characters better by the end of it.
20. the best world-building?
I really liked the world building in A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet. I seriously can’t even begin how to describe how cool all the different species and space jargon was in this book. This is the space-faring book that I wanted Artemis to be.
21. the worst world-building?
Love For The Cold-Blooded? It’s a world of superheroes and villains, but it’s so slapstick that it takes away from the book a lot. Like, honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that I was vaguely intrigued by the hero bangs evil minion side of it, I wouldn’t have even kept reading.
22. a book with a good sidekick?
Gut-punch reaction is A Crooked Kingdom, but it’s hard to call any of those characters a sidekick. I’m going to go with The Archived, by Victoria Schwab, because I haven’t talked about the series yet and Roland and Wesley are both fantastic sidekicks. I loved them both immensely, most of the time more than the main character herself. The Unbound, its sequel, made those two even more compelling.
23. the most insufferable narrator?
Ugh, ugh, ugh, definitely Jazz from Artemis. Again, it isn’t her fault, she could have been super cool. Genius, tech-savvy, Muslim girl who lives on the moon and smuggles shit? Definitely could have been a cool character. But seriously, that dude cannot write ladies. She is literally just Mark Watney.
24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?
All The Crooked Saints. But I think I’ll always be excited for Stiefvater books.
25. a book you picked up on a whim?
I picked up almost all of these because they had been recommended to me in some capacity. Spunk & Bite and The Islamic Enlightenment were both books that I picked up in the library because they simply caught my eye. Slaughterhouse Five I actually only grabbed because it was one of the only audiobooks in stock that wasn’t either Danielle Steel or Christian talky shows.
26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?
Less. I read it in a pool in North Carolina this summer and though it scratched the itch, it should entirely be read in a foreign country.
27. a book cassian andor would like?
Sleeping... Giants? Or A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet?
28. a book gina linetti would like?
I legitimately have no idea what this character is like.
29. your favorite cover art?
A Conjuring of Light or All The Crooked Saints. They’re both very aesthetic™
30. a book you read in translation?
None of them. Clearly I’m not getting diverse enough.
31. a book from another century?
Hah. Haha. Technically A Wrinkle In Time was written last century. Oh god, I’m getting old.
32. a book you reread?
Other than A Wrinkle In Time, which I read so long ago that it shouldn’t even be counted as a reread, I didn’t actually do any full rereads this year. I’ve been itching to reread both The Raven Cycle and Uprooted though, so maybe I’ll do those when I make my way through my library pile.
33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?
Okay, but seriously. Less and Station Eleven were fucking phenomenal and should be read even if you’re unsure that you will like them. I loved both of them immensely and again, I can’t rant to any of my friends and work friends about books because they look at me like I’m stupid. Also, Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman. Those were some damn good short stories.
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Dusky watching episode 9-12
Yes, I have indeed not watched this since episode 8. Well, actually I did see 9 already but I haven’t written a rant about it. So, let’s do this, so I can rest in pieces until the next chapter!
Episode 9
Not even childhood makes Yukio tolerable.
Todo is ruining Victor’s voice for me.
I’m trying really hard to feel sorry for Yukio. I do. But the fact that he blames everything on the one person who knew NOTHING about what he’s been doing just makes it impossible for me. Sorry not sorry!
“Yukio is salty” is kind of a redundant statement at this point.
Awww, there comes out precious baby Satan. You go, Rin!
Could the Impure King please just take a dump on both Todo and Yukio? God...
Cue the intro!
Todo has a point in that Yukio avoids self-reflection. Otherwise he would have noticed what a massive dick he is towards his brother.
On the other hand, he spends waaay too much time thinking about every little shit his brother does. Get a hobby, Yukio!
Please don’t start counter-monologuing now...
NIPPLES!
Yeah, yeah, can we please go back to the more interesting characters now?
Karura... is it too much asked for you to show a little more concern?
Aaand there’s another kid who really needs to chill.
Dammit Rin, quit acting like a stereotypical Shounen protagonist!
Am I the only one who’s dissatisfied with the mediocrity of the animation?
You did well, Princess Suguro!
Dammit, Mephisto! Keep your comments to yourself if you are not going to lift a single finger!
Well, Yukio, maybe if you tried to show off a little less and summoned fewer demons, this would have worked out...
Burn the bitch!
Twin telepathy!
Shima, this is not the time for having a flashback!
Ah, my poor kitten son. Somebody give him a hug.
Hey, Shima! Don’t leave him alone, you asshat!!!
I can’t decide whether I like him better with dark hair or not. The pink is more unique. (PFFT, well, he did say he dyed it because the girls like it...)
I love how Shima always gets put in the front. lol
OMG THE FOX BABIES ARE STILL THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!
Yeah, I’d be annoyed, too.
Well, I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Stop being Tsundere and let Blondie McTits save you!
OH NO! The tiny foxes!
I don’t understand why it was so hard to summon Nee. They seem to be rather happy to be around.
Nyoa! Pfft! The cabbage eyes!
Oh, dramatic music!
Aaand the white stuff is everywhere! Eww.
Oh, yeah, we were about to get crispy Yukio earlier...
DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES! Choirs make everything 10 times more epic.
K’rik to the head!
Juzou is here to steal the show! Roll credits!
Episode 10
And this week: Shit is still going down!
I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that the Impure King is indeed drawn and not CGI as I originally feared. It still looks kinda goofy.
No comments from the peanut gallery, Mephisto! (jk he needs more screen time)
Is this a Game of Thrones episode?
Boobie jiggling!
How does she know that’s its true form anyway?
Kinzou, shut up!
Is this a fight fire with fire thing?
In a Shounen anime, everyone comes up with their attack names as they go...
Hey, how about you guys in the back... idk... HELP HIM?!
Todo has a point. Again.
First dude dies!
Okay, but that flying chicken head is really ridiculous.
Draw Todo like one of your French girls.
PFFFFFFFFFFFT OMG that fireball is DBZ level ridiculous!
Aaand of course that attack is also named.
THE CHICKEN IS EXPLODING!!! AHAHAHAHAH! OMG! This is something straight out of Skyrim modding. “Can you kill it with explosive chickens?“
Well done, four-eyes! Too bad you aren’t cool.
You guys are taking too long...
HOLY FUCK, Todo is just creepy.
Shura is moving out. Hell yeah!
I feel you, Renzou... I want her to smother me with her rack, too.
Ninja Shura! ... oh, wait.
Meanwhile, Izumo still needs saving.
Do something useful, Karura!
What are those teats anyway? Is the Impure King an Impure Queen after all?
Hey, 15 minutes is pretty generous. That’s like 3 seasons of DBZ!
Oh no! Kuro!
Not sure why he can’t draw the sword right now but either way Yukio is probably part of the problem. And Rin’s lack of shoes.
This situation is too heavy. Time for some comedy!
Awww, Rin is too precious for this world.
Bon is laughing. Which is not as apocalyptic of an omen as, say, Yukio laughing... but things are still pretty bad.
HE DREW THE SWORD! Everyone stop whatever you doing!
Episode 11
Friendly reminder that the Impure King looks really ridiculous.
“Hey Okumura! The white stuff is getting into my face!“
Yeah, you drew it. Now do something useful!
TITS!
Shura is so pretty. =w=
The close ups are good but they really cut corners everywhere else in the animation. *sigh*
... Okay, I’m gonna say it, those things attacking Rin look like penises.
Oh no! Princess Suguro! You had one job, man.
Shine bright like a diamond...
I love every second of Mephisto’s screen time but I want to choke him for being a lazy asshole.
And there he goes quoting Nietzsche while Rin is dodging giant demon dicks and Yukio is trying to avoid surprise buttsex from Todo.
You are not his type, Todo! Take a hint!
K’rik to the head!
Okay, time to move the plot elsewhere.
Mephisto is having the time of his life.
Ucchusma has enough of your human bullshit and is here to get shit done. Also, he’s been waiting hundreds of years for his balls to drop.
Se interrupt this episode of Ao no Exorcist to give you... Shaman King!
Rin... you should have learned by now that hell chicken don’t give a single fuck ever.
Elsewhere, Nee still has the cutest butt ever. Look at that tail!!!
Shiemi to the rescue!
Damn, this scene is kinda hot. Forget the guys, Shiemizumo is the shit!
Hey! Don’t ignite other shipping feels over there! We just had a moment here!
Everyone calm your tits!
AAAHHHHH! The mediocrity of the animation makes me cry whenever they show Mephisto. It’s not as bad as the jail scene but eeehhhh.... why?!?! He could have been beautiful!
Did... he just switch legs? He totally just switched legs just now.
Title drop! ROLL THE FUCKING CREDITS!!!!
God, that LAUGH! I love it!
OMG did you see the way the ears shrunk when he sheathed the sword? Somebody gif this!!!
Bon probably thinks “Shit, now I have to show him Kyoto Tower after all...“
AAAHHH THE FACE!!!
YES! PRAISE HIM! PRAISE THE PRECIOUS RINNAMON ROLL!
They are making up!! I CAN’T!!!!
*snort* Here comes the head rub!
“Oh, hey, Yukio! While you were busy fighting Todo, I drew my blade!”
"Who let him out of his cell?” Dude!
They sentenced him to death already. There isn’t anything worse they can do to him. What the fuck are you mad about? Seriously, calm down and fuck off!
... he punched him hard enough for Rin to spit blood?!? That’s the most serious injury he got in this fight! DUDE!
Oh, NOW he’s all “Nii-san!“? FUCK YOU!!!!
Not sure if bad or excellent parenting...
Episode 12
Here comes the clean up crew. If only the people who fought the Impure King all night had been this well equipped....
What is that kangaroo dragon thing?
You jerks had helicopters all along?
I love how Torako always gives the impression that she’s about to make a gentle gesture when she’s really about to blow up in your face.
Aww, poor Mamushi!
Nooo, don’t cry!!!
Pffft, Kuro!
Here comes the ship-tease!
BFF-ED! God, Shiemi, that was savage... *cackles*
Shima, you dick!
THE THING! THE SCENE IS HAPPENING! (Well, I already watched it twice but eh!)
The mediocre animation... oh, the pain!
Mephisto... y u lyin’?
Shura is so pretty!!!!
Am I the only one who always wondered about Mephisto just randomly starting to drink in the middle of day? Is this a Japanese thing?
They really had to zoom in on her... well, that is where her pussy is, no way to sweet it. Creepy animation guys...
At least we got the heart socks.
Sorry, our animation cannot do the hotness of this scene any justice. Have some tits to put you off!
Excuse Mephisto while he’s having a boner and being a dick.
gdi how can a woman be so beautiful!
Yukio needs to chill!
OMG Koneko’s parents were so cute!!! Look at his mom! She was a total cutie pie!
Making my way downtown, walking fast... walking back. WHAT!
What is Koneko WEARING?!
”We porked so now we have to get married!” What century are you from, Juzou?!
Dad Hojo’s reaction oh god! xD
Looks like everyone has their priorities together.
WHAT ARE THOSE SNAKES?!?!?! Uwabami what?
I’m so happy for Uwabami but I can’t stop laughing!!!!!
FIELD TRIP TIME!
And now they are going to milk the joke. Ahhh, poor Rin!
Is that... a carpet floor on the top of Kyoto tower. WHAT?!
Everyone is friends again! I’m happy!
Aaand they are showing it by being dicks. Huehehe. How did they rope Salty-o into this, tho?
Oh, so because they did that Kraken arc in the first season they move up the conversation between Rin and Yukio to now? Does that mean they are not doing the canon Kraken arc? SUUUCKS!
Don’t think too highly of yourself, Yukio! You did jack shit to “force him into using Satan’s power“! If anything, you were part of the reason he was insecure about using it!
... this ending was shoehorned and awkward. I’m disappointed. But overall the last couple of episodes were okay. Now we wait for the next chapter.
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HUMANZ review.
Before we begin, now is a good time to talk the politics of the alum. Many of the references to situations may seem outdated or played out, but you have to remember, this album didn't start production until 2014. Some of these songs are seriously YEARS old. So b sure not to judge the album for any recent political messages that you may consider "Outdated" because, technically, they're not.
1: I turned my robot off: Nobody cares, moby...nobody cares.
2: Ascension (Feat. Vince Staples): Good production, though I expect no less from a band like Gorillaz. Uses some unique effects that I haven't heard since Demon days, and Staples' feature is pretty sick. GLAD TO HEAR THAT CHORUS BACK.
3: Stroblite (Feat. Peven Everett): Kinda dull to start off with, sounds kinda like an overproduced track from G Sides. Everett sounds like every other british singer to me, I'm sorry, but it's not super unique. Not saying they're bad, just nothing to write home about. But damn, is that a catchy chorus. Maybe Gorillaz should just do commercials. Damon Albarn doesn't even have to pretend he's in the band at that point
4: Saturn Barz (Feat. Popcaan): Really good sample, strong beat, and I love the keyboard used in the song. But the production is a bit overdone. Autotune CAN be used as a stylistic thing, sure, but that doesn't always mean it sounds good. Popcaan does fine with it, but I would be interested in hearing it without him. And hey, Albarn actually SINGS on this song. CONSISTENTLY. The choir is also good, but I heard them do the same thing on Demon Days.
5: Momentz (Feat. De La Soul): De La Soul is an obvious choice. He's basically IN Gorillaz. The vocal modulation on MOMENTZ is awesome, and got me amped. But the kick drum threw my excitement riiiight off my back. It falls into the 22 DEATHBREAST trap of being too loud and percussive. De La Soul can rap, and i never questioned his ability, so that's obviously not too big of a deal. It's like saying 'hey, that really good mathematician can do MATH!' Other than that really, REALLY fun vocal modulation, it sounds a biit too much like Ke$ha in the first half. But the second half with the chorus reminds me of Dirty Harry. From...you guessed it, Demon Dayz. The final part with the keybard percussion is what the song SHOULD have been.
6: Interlude: The nonconformist Oath: "Ohhhh, you're all claiming to be non-conformists but you're just SHEEP" said every other artist ever.
7: Submission (Feat. Danny Brown & Kelela): This song immediately starts of with a female vocalist (I assume Kelela, correct me if I'm wrong) singing, and reminding me of a little dragon feature. Nice, solid music, as well. THAT CHOIR'S BACK BABY I'M LOVIN IT. This is the first song after Ascension that I can really say is a song from THIS album. It sounds NEW, almost like a different artist. Buuut...Brown ruined it. His voice is obnoxious. Why couldn't you just bring back Vince Staples? Or, I dunno, GET D.R.A.M. TO DO A REAL VERSE (Oh, we'll get to that.)
8: Charger (Feat: Grace Jones): OH MY GOD. DAMON ALBARN SINGS ON THIS SONG AS LIKE...THE MAIN GUY. It's a dirtier track, which I feel matches the earlier aesthetic of Gorillaz. But that's not a bad thing. It doesn't sound like a retread, just a tribute to other, harder songs like White Light or Oh Green World. But, the keyboards do a good job of keeping it fresh, it still sounds NEW. Grace Jones is a good vocalist, though there isn't too much of her on this track.
Interlude: Elevator: Goin Up" ...yep.
9: Andromeda (Feat. D.R.A.M.): YEAH, AS A FREAKING BACKING VOCALIST. GIVE MY BOY D.R.A.M. A REAL VERSE. HE MADE CUTE, DAMON. Anyway, it's a little bass heavy, kinda hurts your ears. One of the few songs I would recommend listening to through laptop speakers. And, to be fair, it's a great song. I actually love it when the bass is brought down and the electronics hit. So play it through laptop speakers, then plug it in after that. And, I do at least HEAR D.R.A.M., so that's something. Good dance track....no, AMAZING dance track. But I feel ripped off, as there was no real D.R.A.M. feature that was worth while. Unlike other songs, it seems to take more from Plastic Beach (which I kiiinda preferred to Demon Dayz anyhow) But it still stands as something from THIS album cycle.
10: Busted and Blue: Starts up with kind of a chillwave/vaporwave feel. Ambient noise and smooth, long, drawn keyboards. Very chilled out vocals from Albarn here. the backing vocals kinda remind me of Redbone or Me and your Mamma from Childish Gambino's"Awaken, My love!" SLIDEWHISTLE WHOOOO
11: Interlude: Talk Radio: um...okay.
12: Carnival (Feat. Anthony Hampton): The intro sucks. But Anthony Hampton is a pretty good voice! Matches with the heavier beat. Sort of trap influenced, almost. Not sure what I would call it. The voices and the layering work superbly, and the strings are great, too. Nice and distorted, but not to the point of being unrecognizable.
14: Let Me Out (Feat. Mavis Staples and Pusha T.): Haven't heard from Pusha T in a while. But I'm a fan of the interrupting keyboard, makes it sound distorted. If only they'd taken it to the next level and messed with the vocal track, but I guess we gotta get what we're given. Catchy percussion, love that snare. Mavis Staples has a fantastic voice, and I'm very glad she's on this record with THAT CHOIR BOOSTER. DAMN. The beat and music are also, again, pretty solid.
15: Interlude: Penthouse: I mean...yeah, I guess.
16: Sex Murder Party (Feat. Jamie Principle & Zebra Katz): The sting of percussion at the beginning is not good. I mean, it sounds fine NOW, but imagine that on a playlist on shuffle, and you have the volume up. Gotta think about everything, man. I feel like I have heard that drumline from somewhere, but I honestly couldn't tell you where. Kind of dull, honestly. Dissonant keyboard and strained vocals don't change a song's quality if all they do is remind you of Micheal Meyers. Jamie Pirnciple is NOT entertaining to listen to. Maybe in a different setting, his voice would work better, but with this kind of music it just doesn't fit. Zebra Katz, on the other hand...fits quite nicely. His voice and range matches the darker tone of the song. Even if the song is bad, he's fit for it.
17: She's my Collar (Feat. Kali Uchis): The snare hits you like a truck if you aren't expecting it. I don't like the Residents-esque guitar in the back. Shame, because without that, it would be a pretty solid beat. The drawn synth is also annoying, too. Kali Uchis is nothing to write home about, but they aren't terrible. Also,using they/them unless I know the artist's perferred pronouns.
18: Interlude: The Elephant: I mean, whatever, man.
19: Hallelujah Money (Feat. Benjamin Clementine): Now, I love this track. Clementine is an amazing vocalist, who deserves to be more popular than he is. He's one of the best modern singers coming out of Europe, in my opinion. This was the first song released from the new album, and if the rest of the album sounded like this, it would be a perfect ten. The beat is simplistic, but just so that it isn't too overwhelming. The choir is awesome, almost like a full on gospel chorus. The keyboards and synths on this song are also amazing. Favorite track so far on the album.
20: We Got the Power (Feat. Jhenny Beth): DAMN THAT INTRO. HOLY CRAP I THINK I JUST DIED. The vocals are amazing on this track, and the matching keyboards are a perfect match. Beth is an amazing vocalist with a unique voice who can really carry a tune. I wish the percussion was a bit slower, maybe half tempo. It seems a little too fast for this kind of song. Other than that, it's good. And hey, this seems like a good workout song. So, it's not awful. But gooooood, that ending. I hate when songs just STOP. At least Hallelujah Money gave us a build. This just stopped.
21: Interlude: New World: Meh, kinda boring. At least the other interludes were funny.
22: The Apprentice (Feat. Rag'n'Bone Man, Zebra Katz, & RAY BLK): Getting a kind of Homeshake vibe from the beginning of this song. Like the vocals at the beginning as well, but I don't know which artist it was. Their voice is unique enough that I bet I WOULD know, if I listened to them. Loving the chorus. Nice flow to it, and I like that they toned back the music on this one. It's more about the vocalists. The second vocalist (who I ALSO don't know the name of, you can tell I'm so versed in music lol) is pretty good too. Their voice getting the lead on the chorus is also pretty cool, you don't see a lot of bands do that, switching the chorus vocalist. Finally, Zebra Katz. He can rap, and pretty well. He has a nice flow, and keeps track of his words. Also: Laughter was SOOOO Demon Days.
23: Halfway to the Halfway House (Feat. Peven Everett) Peven is back, but first let's talk this intro. A bunch of RADAR sounding noises, followed by an underwater-type synth with a kind of ride in the back? It's not HORRIBLE, but it's not really hooking me. Kinda reminds me of a slowed, chopped, and screwed Doncamatic. Peven Everett has a better pattern on this song, and the chorus is a good match for this song as a smaller group. It sounds pretty good, against the dark and drab music. Not much else to say, honestly. Then the second half hits, and it picks up. More people, louder vocals, it's a really good thing. Sometimes more really is more. I also like how it fades and we get kind of a fan effect. But once again, we have a song that just...stops. Shit.
24: Out of Body (Feat. Kilo Kish, Zebra Katz, & Imani Vonsha): The intro is a woman (or two, depending on who you ask) talking about how there's gonna be some sort of special offering. It's seriously right out of a "top ten audio recordings that'll make you leave your hometown and move to Boise" video. But how's the song? Unique enough to use phones as the main synth. The bass is there, and it's loud, but it's just enough to be a good dance track. Kilo Kish is a good artist, kind of reminds me of Tkay Maidza with her flow, but on other songs where she sings, they sound pretty different. Her voice matches the song pretty well. Zebra Katz comes into the track like Nate Dogg on Shake that. Again, though, good rapper. Then a third vocalist, who I assume is Imani Vonsha comes in. She's a much more new artist, but I hope she becomes more popular. Her voice Really is something. kinda reminds me of Jelly from Tank and the Bangas.
25: Ticker Tape (Feat. Carly Simon &Kali Uchis): A slower track, but the keyboard wants it to be fast. It really doesn't sound good. I understand what they were going for, but it sounds ugly. I'm glad it comes out to a more drawn synth later in the song. Really catchy chorus, too. Good percussion, as well. Kick, snare, kick, snare...sometimes, that's all you need. Carly Simon has a lower, more lowkey voice, which is perfectly suited for this track. Relaxed, undisturbed, but still enough emotion to keep me from falling asleep. loving the James Blake styled vocal modulation on Albarn, really adds kind of a Bo-en feel to it. Kali Uchis comes in later, when the song picks up, which is really where her voice belongs; more upbeat or quicker songs. But guess what? it just...stops.
26: Circle of Friendz (Feat. Brandon Markell Holmes): A song with an intro of sirens, minor violin chords, and glass bottles smashing against walls? Gotta be good, right? Well, it actually isn't that bad! The choral vocal style pairs well with the string ensemble of the keyboards, and the dissonent backing over the verse matches well. Gorillaz has a history of ending their albums with more lowkey tracks, like Pirate Jet on Plastic Beach. Am I glad the tradition returned? Yes. Because this is easily one of the better songs on the album. Markell Holmes really can carry a tune. And how does it end? With a fade....well, at leat it's something.
PHEW! THAT was a long one. But was it good? Well, kind of. There's parts of the album that I thought were great, but others that were just reeeeally repetitive. Over all, it could have been worse. But it could've been better....but it could've been a LOT worse.
7/10
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Final Round-Up
Thank you so much to our incredible authors and artists who participated in the first annual Captain Swan Big Bang! We had some snafus (minor and major), but everyone managed to pull through with flying colors.
Here’s the final round-up of all the stories and artwork! It’s under the cut due to length, but please be sure to check them all out!
Ready To Believe You
Emma Swan doesn't believe in ghosts, or magic, and she sure as hell doesn't believe in true love, but when things start going bump in the night it's up to three enterprising (and under-worked) members of Storybrooke's sheriff's department to save the day, and hopefully find a little belief along the way. 1984 Ghostbusters AU
Author: @mahstatins
Artist: @jemmingart
Story: 1 - 2
Artwork
The Darling Affair
Ex-military officer Killian Jones has never forgiven the Gold family for what they took from him. But when his path searching for justice (and maybe revenge) leads him straight to Emma Swan, a social worker who’s young charge has just been kidnapped by Malcolm Gold, he might just learn to let go of the past.
Author: @icecubelotr44
Artist: @shady-swan-jones
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - epilogue
Artwork
How Does Your Garden Grow
A chance meeting with Mary Margaret Nolan in a juvenile detention floral design class sets Emma Swan on the path to being a florist. A rehabilitation program for disabled veterans gives Killian Jones his start in horticulture. Neither one ever imagined picking those paths, but they’ll lead to each other. But can they keep the harder aspects of life from tearing them apart?
Author: @theadventureofhistorygirl
Artist: @shady-swan-jones
Story
Artwork
Anchor Me
Finding yourself competing in a house renovation reality show when you can’t even tell a tell a false ceiling from a real one is a pretty dumb thing to do, and doing it with a guy you barely know is probably even worse. But that’s where Emma has ended up and, despite the fact she prides herself on avoiding doing dumb things at all cost, she’s going to get it done, get her money and get out before anything too disastrous happens.
Killian Jones is coming off a string of disasters that has cost him his career and left him with an injury there’s no hiding now. All he wants is a little distraction, and the woman who wants him to play make-believe for some ridiculous TV show looks like she’ll fulfil that need perfectly. He’s just not sure he can be what she wants, and he’s even less sure if he should try.
And now they’re here, in Storybrooke, Maine, competing for a house they don’t really want in a competition they don’t really understand. Understanding each other is another matter altogether, and if they can do that, then maybe they’ll both find what they’ve been looking for all along.
Author: @ooshka-babooshka
Artist: @ugly-duckling-ouat
Story
Artwork
a place in time
Emma’s an agent working to reunite missing people with their families when the biggest missing persons case of all time appears in front of her in a flash of bright, white light. Thousands of missing people from throughout history, including one particular pirate, appear on the shore of a lake in the middle of winter: none have aged a day since their disappearance and, with no memory of their missing time, must venture into a strange and uncertain future. Loosely based on the TV show “the 4400.”
Author: @swanslieutenant
Artist: @queen-mabs-revenge
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
Artwork
Strange Alliances: The Life and Fights of Emma Swan
Emma Swan is the only female pirate captain in all the realms. At the helm of her beloved ship, the Tallahassee, she pillages and plunders beside her Quartermaster, and brother, August Booth.
Then one day, Captain Hook climbs aboard the Tallahassee with a flirtatious smirk and a plan to bring down the greatest villain in the realms. Nottingham, no longer content with terrorizing his own domain in Sherwood Forest, has now taken to the high seas. It is up to the combined powers of Captain Swan, Captain Hook and their crews to take him down.
On the way, secrets are reveals, alliances shift and the two captains find themselves drawn to each other in more ways than one.
Meanwhile, Prince Henry receives startling information about his beginnings. Information that sets him on a journey to the deck of that very same pirate ship that Emma calls home.
Author: @treluna2
Artist: @hook-and-star-ink
Story
Artwork
Saving the Savior
Unwilling to part with their newborn infant, Snow White and Prince Charming never send Emma through a magical wardrobe on a quest that could save the kingdom. Twenty-eight years later, with no end to the curse in sight, Killian Jones arrives in the small town of Storybrooke Maine, where everything is not as it seems. With few possessions and even fewer memories, Killian must uncover the secrets of the mysterious seaside town before it is too late.
Author: @sotheylived
Artist: @somethingalltogether
Story
Artwork
Kings and Queens
Emma Swan is struggling as an actress. All seems lost until she manages to swing a spot on Kings and Queens, the most popular Medieval TV Show of all time. But here’s the catch: Emma hates being in love, and acting it is proving more tricky than she first thought. Her whole world is about to change, especially working alongside her new and mysterious co-star Killian Jones. It’s been so long since Emma has opened her heart to anyone. Could she start now?
Author: @artandteaandstuff
Artist: @lucythemarauder
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - more to come
Artwork
Lament of the Asphodels
Killian Jones is the Keeper of Stagrock Light, the Sole Beacon of Northedge, and he lives a simple life apart from the society he serves. His entire world turns upside-down when a shipwreck leaves him with a stranded woman, the Survivor, or as her parents called her, Emma Swan.
As she recovers from her ordeal, it becomes clear that she's harboring a painful past and may even be a fugitive from the law seeking refuge in the Northmost Lands. What starts out as a simple attempt to aid someone who has fallen on hard times becomes complicated when they both begin to experience a rush of other memories that might just be from another life.
Author: @dracox-serdriel
Artist: @liamjcnes
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - more to come
Artwork: 1 - 2
A Lost Boy’s Guide to Hollywood
Killian Jones, put-upon Private Investigator, is hired by one Mr Gold to find his missing client, Peter Pan, a Bieber-level teenage sensation. With the reluctant help of the mysterious Emma Swan, Killian must make his way through Peter’s miscreant friends and acquaintances, into the slimy underbelly of LA in search of the missing singer, all before his scheduled appearance at the Hollywood Bowl in four days time.
Author: @blessed-but-distressed
Artist: @clockadile
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - more to come
Artwork
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Emma is one of the star players of the Storybrooke Saviours dodgeball team - well, as much of a star player as you can be from a YMCA rec league team. But she loves playing, her team has won years in a row, and it gives her something to do while Henry is at hockey practice. But when the Y on the other end of town closes, it brings some new teams into the league. Of all the things that could shake up Emma’s world, she never would have guessed it would be the captain of the other Y’s winning dodgeball team.
Author: @iminwinnipegthatsincanada
Artist: @liamjcnes
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8
Artwork
Lightning Strikes the Heart
Killian Jones and Emma Swan have hated each other since the moment they met. Killian is arrogant, cocky and a womanizer; Emma is standoffish, straight forward, and rude. When David and Mary Margaret ask them to be their respective Maid of Honor and Best Man, their desire to stay as far away from each other as possible, goes awry. The two must work together to make the Nolan-Blanchard wedding as perfect as possible. The best wedding gift the bride and groom could receive is for their closest friends to get along, and if they help their friends achieve their own happy ending, then who’s to stop them?
Author: @thebravestprincess
Artist: @swankkat
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
Artwork
Falling Slowly
When Henry is kidnapped by the Evil Queen, Emma rushes to save him. Along the way, she receives the help of a ship’s captain with a shared past, though she has no idea just how deep that shared past really goes.
Author: @phiralovesloki
Artist: @swankkat
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - epilogue
Artwork: cover - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - epilogue
Forever is Composed of Nows
She’s troubled: Lady Emma Nolan of Misthaven, freshly introduced to society and at the height of her youth, is bored. Family matters and potential suitors worry her, of course, but calling on her friends and having tea with her mother can also be so tedious. But, a random encounter on a unplanned trip into town changes Emma’s life forever and chance sends her down the path she thought she’d never considered : marriage, by way of motherhood.
Author: @accio-ambition
Artist: @somethingalltogether
Story: 1 - 2
Artwork
Can’t Erase Me
so like, i know we broke up and stuff but funny story, i haven’t told my family yet and they just assumed you’d be coming with me for my parent’s anniversary celebration and i really don’t know how to tell them and i know this is really selfish but i can’t break my mother’s heart like that (more like father’s really), they’ll probably have a heart attack- and wait what? you’d do that for me? holy shit, i love you…wait-
Author: @icapturedkindness
Artist: @captainodonoghue
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Artwork: 1 - 2
Never Say Goodbye
They say that True Love can break any curse. But Emma has always been one to challenge the odds. Determined to save her, Killian is adamant that he’ll find the cure just through the next portal. But what happens if he can’t?
Author: @icecubelotr44
Artist: @cocohook38
Story: 1 - 2 - 3
Artwork: 1 - 2
Guilty, Your Honor
“It was a one-time thing,” is definitely one of the last things you want to say to your new boss on your first day at work. For lawyer Emma Swan, this case is open-and-shut. The verdict? Completely hopeless.
Author: @shipping-goggles
Artist: @captainswanandclintasha
Story: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
Artwork
#csbigbang#cs ff#cs graphic#cs fic rec#captain swan#master post#thank you all for your incredible work!
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tagged by @agatharja
first rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! :)
... my anxiety won’t let me tag anyone because i’m afraid i’d be bothering them
second rule: Bold statements that are true
- I am 5'7 or taller (i fucking wiiiiiiiiiiiiiish)
- I wear glasses (i’m meant to but i don’t because they get dirty and that bothers me)
-I have at least one tattoo
- I have at least one piercing (6 distributed around my ears and 1 nose)
- I have blonde hair
- I have brown eyes
- I have short hair (hells yeah boi)
- My abs are at least somewhat defined (bitch i wish, fuck off)
- I have or had braces
PERSONALITY:
- I love meeting new people
- People tell me I am funny (ppl tell me nothing. also i never speak out loud)
- Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine (i mean i’d like to but i have no idea what to say)
- I enjoy physical challenges
- I enjoy mental challenges
- I am playfully rude to people I know (i mean kinda sometimes? idk)
- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it
- There is something I would change about my personality (everything i would love to not be a bland robot)
ABILITY:
- I can sing well
- I can play an instrument (i can sort of play ukulele and guitar. and ocarina i guess lol. i also took recorder lessons when i was in primary school. now that was a bad time)
- I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol no)
- I am a fast runner (actually i can sprint really fast but for only like 10 seconds)
- I can draw well
- I have a good memory (HAHAHAHAHA NO)
- I am good at doing math in my head
- I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i used to when i was like a teen but my asthma and stuff has gotten real bad since then)
- I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling (idk probably i mean see aforementioned unbolded good memory i can’t even remember two days ago at all i must have beaten 2 people at arm wrestling. i mean i know i’ve wrestled the arm)
- I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch
- I know how to throw a proper punch (well i mean i can do a karate punch. you start with your fist closed and facing up, held next to like your hip and your elbow’s like pointed back, and then you thrust forward and up a bit and twist your fist down inwards, so you end up with it at chest level. idk)
HOBBIES:
- I enjoy sports (i feel like eventually i will end up watching something like women’s soccer or women’s basketball, because i am a pathetic virginal gay that can’t talk to and is unattractive to girls)
- I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (i tried out for soccer twice. since i’m a fatass they didn’t go well)
- I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (i was in primary school i have no idea why i think it’s cuz my grandma wanted me to be? but it wasn’t all bad i mean one time we went to like a choir competition and the conductor called me a boy so that was neat as fuck. man i got called a boy a lot when i was a kid it was fucking heaven compared to now, assholes calling me ma’am and shit man get fuckt)
- I have learned a new song in the past week (what does this mean? like to play on an instrument? bitch i can’t even concentrate long enough to learn Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe i just get discouraged and shit)
- I exercise at least once a week (listen i intend to rectify this and go swimming every day, now that i finally realised like last year that i actually have fucking dysphoria and that’s why i hated wearing swimsuits (aside from because i’m fat as shit and disgusting to witness in a fucking onepiece like what the fuck were my parents fucking thinking making me wear shit like that when i’m obese as sin) i’m gonna get board shorts and a rashguard and wear one of my less liked binders and it’ll be so fucking good)
- I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months (fuck off i’m not leaving my house in fucking summer it’s fucking 40°)
- I have drawn something in the past month
- I enjoy writing (man i haven’t properly written in like 7 years because idk depression but i still write stories in my head when i’m going to sleep at night and showering and whatever)
- Fandoms are my #1 priority
- I do some form of Martial arts (i used to do karate when i was uhhh 14?)
EXPERIENCES:
- I have had my first kiss (hahahahaha *sob* i fucking wish)
- I have had alcohol (yeah man i love jagerbombs and blue lagoons, defuckinglicious)
- I have scored a winning point in a sport (fuck sports)
- I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting (okay wait does this count for like rewatches? because when i saw my first anime i was obsessed with watching it - martian successor nadesico btw - for the entire day and that’s all i did, i sat in bed and watched it all morning to night)
- I have been at an overnight event (i meannnn when i went to see the last jedi slash meet some of my friends from my guild irl for the first time i stayed over at their house on the sofa and left the next morning does that count)
- I have been in a taxi (yeah it was only recently actually, our car fucking died and we had to take some convoluted fucking public transport out of our place from middle-of-dead-ass-fucking-nowhere-ville (needless to say i hate the suburb i live in. and country) to somewhere where we could get a taxi to a car rental place. or was it a dealership? i can’t fucking remember man do you see this shitty memory in action?? it was only like 2 years ago fuck me)
- I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (well i was IN a hospital but that’s because i was going to a dental clinic in the building)
- I have beaten a video game in one day (what game can you beat in a day man???)
- I have visited another country (i haven’t got enough fucking money lad)
- I have been to one of my favorite bands’ concerts (listen fuck you i’m totally counting livestreamed concerts, i’ve seen all of Steam Powered Giraffe’s youtube concerts and the one recorded in 2013 and you bet your ass i’m gonna pay $20 for the right to see the film of the anniversary concert)
MY LIFE:
- I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend (i kinda consider my friend bunny my best friend but i doubt he considers me his bestie)
- I live close to my school/work (HAHAHA GET REKT I TAKE MY UNI COURSES ONLINE AHAHAHA)
- My parents are still together
- I have at least one sibling (i mean technically i have 3 but i’ve never met them. at least i don’t think i have. they can get lost far as i’m concerned)
- I live in the United States (i wouldn’t live there if you paid me. maybe if obama were still president you could’ve got me to live there if you gave me like 5 million dollars, but now i would actually rather die)
- There is snow where I live right now (god i would fucking kill for some snow)
- I have hung out with a friend in the past month (yooo i was boutta unbold this because i have no fuckin friends except my online pals but then i remembered going to meet two of my friends from online and seeing star wars with them!! holy shit i feel validated and less lonely)
- I have a smartphone (samsung galaxy s6 BOI i am so fucking angry i was gonna hold out for the s7 cuz 7 is my second favourite fucking number (first is 14 but i wasn’t gonna wait a decade for that or w/e) anyway i finally decided to just get the s6 and the fucker asshole 7 is announced like a month later aaaaaarhghdks)
- I own at least 15 CDs (i have a whole fuck ton of videogames and they’re on CDs get owned HAHA FOILED but i also have probably about 15 CDs of music if i’m gonna count the stuff my family has)
- I share my room with someone (man my room isn’t even big enough for me how you gonna fit a whole nother person in that cupboard)
RELATIONSHIPS:
- I am in a Relationship (*cries uncontrollably*)
- I have a crush on a celebrity (well i mean i wouldn’t say no to like scarlett johansson if she told me she wanted to rail me. or gal gadot. or kate beckinsale. or kristen stewart. or - okay this is probably a massive list of ladies i want to rawdog me)
- I have a crush on someone I know (i’m slightly in love with all of my female friends because they show me kindness)
- I’ve been in at least 3 relationships (alright fucking buckle up kids: i don’t count online relationships because i’m a bitter person but when i was like 10 i was in a ‘relationship’ on runescape with a boy the same age at me and i legitimately think it was actually a kid like me and not a predator because all we did was stand next to each other and talk about cows or something and make the avatars kiss (we both had male avatars because i was obviously subconsciously aware of my gender identity at that stage). when i was like 13/14 i met a girl at a camp during the school holidays (i went to camp almost every holiday) and we chatted over msn after camp ended and tbh i think she forgot who i was because she suddenly said she liked me one day so i decided i liked her too and we started to ‘date’. lasted like 2 weeks? idk but she broke it off cuz i was inattentive (i can’t remember but i guess i could’ve been i’m not a very social person believe it or not *snicker*) anyway i saw her at the next two camps and it was hella fucking awkward the first time because i wanted to be friends with her but her other friends intimidated me so i just hovered around her creepily and she got angry at me and i got sad, but the 2nd time was a lot better i think, i was extremely distressed when i saw her at the bus station for the camp transport and i sulked the entire ride, but when we all got there i accidentally fell into her friend group (i actually think it’s because the other girls were really nice and they’d seen me sulking and wanted to cheer me up, man kinda fucked up huh) i pretty much ignored her the whole time and after camp ended she contacted me on msn for some reason and idk she like asked me how i’d felt when i saw her at camp and i was honest and told her i’d been pretty upset and then she got pissed at me and never spoke to me again. wow such drama huh? oh and my 3rd ‘relationship’ was when i was uhh 16/17-ish with this girl i met on some naruto fansite. i don’t even like naruto, and i actually remember absolutely nothing about my interactions with her. like at all. i don’t remember how we met or who dumped who or whatever bullshit. i’m not sure why this is i mean maybe it’s because this was at the same time i had a massive fucking obsessive infatuation with a girl at my school and well it didn’t turn out so hot and i think i’ve blocked out a lot of shit. anyway i hope you all enjoyed that wall of text haha of course you fucking didn’t. well tough titties me lad)
- I have never been in a relationship (*cries*)
- I have admitted my feelings to a crush (fuck no holy shit)
- I get crushes easily (yeah well if any female is nice to me i’m a goner. also one time during high school i started getting crushes on all the girls in my extended english class like i think it was a new girl each week. it was a tiny class there was only like 8 of us, no stinky boys (even if i’d realised i was trans at the time, i’m not stinky :P))
- I have had a crush for over a year (it was not fun)
- I have been in a relationship for over a year
- I have had feelings for a friend (do semi acquaintances count. or ‘girls that tolerated me enough to let me sit with them at lunch’)
RANDOM:
- I have break-danced
- I know a person named Jamie
- I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (listen i don’t fucking remember. but i’m good at pronunciations and shit anyway)
- I have dyed my hair (it was really short and blonde i kinda looked like a skinhead)
- I’m listening to a song on repeat right now (tongue tied from red dwarf)
- I have punched someone in the past week
- I know someone who has gone to jail
- I have broken a bone (broke my ankle in primary school because i’m fat and dumb and tried to slide along the grass into the safezone during tag or whatever, also i broke my wrist when i was 18 because i’m fat and dumb and i was learning how to drive a scooter but i went around a corner too slow or idk unbalanced or some shit, i think i broke the mirror on it but fuck that infernal machine i had to get fucking surgery and get pins in my wrist. when i got them out it was actually the closest i’ve ever come to fainting like the doctor dude was straining hard to pull these ones on the side out and when they finally popped out and a ton of blood gushed out i like deflated and teetered in my seat a bit it was an experience)
- I have eaten a waffle today (never had a waffle)
- I know what I want to do in life (well idk about an actual career but i want to write a book and get it published and make tons of bank)
- I speak at least two languages (i took japanese for 6 years don’t fucking tell me that doesn’t count just because i can’t carry a conversation in the language. also i took a class on latin for a semester it was dope af)
- I have made a new friend in the past year
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