forget hot girl summer imma bout to have busy girl autumn and stressed girl winter

might have a parisian girl era soon. we’ll see

laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,

once again stressed as hell because i have the opportunity to apply for a job and i feel like i HAVE to take it despite the fact that i really dont want it and also feel like it wouldnt necessarily even be the best move in terms of career… but like. Fatal American Desire To Seize Every Financial Opportunity At The Expense Of My Own Well-being.

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I was just sooo brave and asked my roommate to either move to the common space or wrap things up after she was on an audio call with all of the lights on at 10:30 when prior to moving in she said she was fine with lights off no noise after 10pm. I really hope the rest of the summer isn’t like this because truly I will be so miserable and I don’t know if I can do that again 😭

I have a week and a half of finals left and I am not making it through y’all 🙏

burnout is supposed to end at some point, I have read this. However, how do you know when it has ended and you should gradually force yourself through more activities to get used to living a life again, and when doing that will send you Directly back to an even worse ring of hell. Is there like a guidebook or

being chronically ill fucking sucks man how am i supposed to live the rest of my life like this

seriously considering making a mental health blog

God I miss this bar, I wanna go back so bad

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

the burnout is real lads . . . . .

thinkin abt how quemada has helped so many people get over their fears.. like half a dozen of my friends/family were scared of snakes but then they met her and now some of them are comfortable enough to hold her now. and the ones that are still a little scared are still a lot more calm about snakes than before. i love helping people get over their fear and quemie has the perfect most sweet little personality for the job ;w;

the post-grad unemployment blues have not been helping my annual summer depression, so my brain has been... not great. my lease is up in just a few days, but i can't move into a new apartment until i know where i'll be working. i'm having to put all my shit in storage until i can find something. it's been rough.* but i spent a few days at Books' this week and even though everything sucks, they did a lovely job cheering me up. when i got to theirs, they surprised me with a silly and refreshing beverage i'd previously mentioned in passing that i wanted to try** and this book that they picked up from work.*** then they took me to their campus so we could play board games on the massive group study tables.**** we got dinner at my favorite ethiopian place in the city. we cozied up in bed and double featured they cloned tyrone and the lighthouse (which they hadn't seen before). i finally got to an alamo drafthouse weird wednesday! we saw let the corpses tan,***** after a delightfully nasty late night diner breakfast. we played mario kart and i lost, terribly, but still had fun.

i also had an interview yesterday, for a job that sounds like a great fit for me.****** all of my interviews so far have been strange, for one reason or another, but this one may have been the strangest- because halfway through, the interviewer started pitching me a different position that sounds AMAZING.******* i'd be happy with either. i really hope this works out. i should be having a second interview next week.

i'm back at my apartment now and i have to be out by monday afternoon. i'm glad to be leaving this place, even though things are still so up in the air. and even though i haven't been my best lately, i'm glad to know that i am still loved.

lord save me this very easy group project is currently stalling me in my tracks because i hate the very idea of doing it >:C i have other work that i actually WANT to be doing but i can't until i do this curse bite kill etc.