In case you needed some nightmare fuel, this is what the oesophagus of a leatherback sea turtle looks like on the inside. 
Those spines keep jellyfish in but let sea water out. Unfortunately, they also keep plastic bags in, making them very vulnerable to plastic impaction!

our office has been in renovations for what feels like forever and my team is very close to getting some of our new space. my dream. my absolute dream for my cubicle decoration. is a framed embroidery of this

i have never embroidered anything in my life but now that the time is near i think i am willing to learn

𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!

i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.

i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.

i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.

plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.

ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda

SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️

as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

[ meet the prisoners! (t2 edition) ] prisoner 007: yano asahi

the youngest linagram prisoner is here!! i love his t2 design a lot actually. though i love his design in general. i love this cute purple boi. his t2 mv makes me so scared of him

btw i wanna apologize if the profiles look "inconsistent", this is gonna sound weird, but i worked on everything, including the profiles, the vds, the mv descriptions, etc, for a couple months and it's like, basically if i had some free time, i worked on those things, so i had some things in my phone notes, if i had my tablet with me, i wrote something in my notes there, if i wasn't having any problems with my computer, i used it instead. i know that it would make much more sense to just have everything in one place, but because of some stuff, i wasn't able to do it that way. i often forget to edit some things, like i forgot that i don't need to write "kei's t2 profile" in his profile and i also forgot to change "non-deco*27 cover" to "different vocaloid producer cover" in eiko's profile. also my computer keyboard is kinda broken which. makes things a lot harder to write and even though i have a second one, IT'S ALSO BROKEN AND IT'S EVEN WORSE. sooooo uhhhh yeah sorry djsksksls

General info.

T1 Verdict: Asahi was voted innocent and he sure was happy with his verdict! Haha, he totally expected to be forgiven, no, he knew that he's gonna be forgiven. I mean, they had to forgive a child, they wouldn't punish someone as young as him, right? Asahi's hair grew a little bit longer between trials, so he got a new hairstyle. He also got a new outfit, though it's kind of similar to his T1 one. Even though he was voted innocent, he still has a bandaid under his right eye because of Yurika's attack and yes, it's definitely not as serious as Akio and Kei's injuries, but he still likes to remind everyone how much of a victim he is. Like, look at him, how dare Yurika hurt a poor child like him? He got a few other scratches because of her, but they have already healed and there's only one left now.

T2 Personality: Asahi, surprisingly, is more polite now and he doesn't swear as often as he used to. At least that's what it seems like on the outside. Asahi is happy that he got forgiven, but he's secretly very afraid of being voted guilty this time, so.. Why not start acting like an even more "cute" version of himself? People will love him more if he starts acting nicer and more obedient, right? It doesn't mean that he really is nicer now though. When nobody else is around, he will gladly make fun of the guilty prisoners, go back to his usual manner of speaking and bully those who are even weaker than him. And if anyone even tries to accuse him, he will start crying and claiming that this never happened. And well, Miki can't help but forgive him again and again, even though this kid is trying to manipulate not only the guards, but also the other prisoners. He even steals food and other things from the guilty prisoners. He doesn't even need those things, he just does it because.. uh.. because.. Well, because he deserves them!

T2 Relationship dynamics:

Yeah, Naomi and Asahi's relationship is.. not good, to say the least. It's very sad to think about, when you remember how much Asahi wants a mother figure and kinda expects Naomi to become one, but she's not interested in that at all and clearly hates the kid. So no matter how hard Asahi tries to make her like him, she just ends up hating him even more. Honestly, if it wasn't for the guards, she would've probably already killed him, he annoys her that much.

Obviously, Asahi dislikes Yurika now, and when other people are around, he doesn't hesitate to remind them how bad she is and how he's still in "so much pain because of her". However, when there is only Yurika around, Asahi suddenly stops acting so brave and tries his best to avoid her. He knows that Yurika isn't afraid of the guards, so even if they try to stop her, she will attack anyone who makes her angry.

If Naomi and Asahi's dynamic makes you sad, don't worry, because Eiji and Asahi both hate each other equally! <3 Eiji hates him because he still finds him annoying and suspicious and he doubts that Asahi deserved to be forgiven, but he can't say anything because he's Miki's brother. Meanwhile Asahi is very protective of Miki and he thinks that Eiji will end up hurting her one day, so he keeps his eye on him and sometimes purposefully asks Miki to hang out with him so that she doesn't have to spend time with Eiji. Both of them hate each other, but for Miki's sake, they try to hide it.

Asahi likes Miki so much, even though it may not be obvious because of his personality, but he does. He may ask her to spend time with him so that she stays away from Eiji (but also so that he can show Eiji that "she likes Asahi more"), but sometimes he actually wants to help her feel better. He can even share his food with her sometimes or ask her to play with him. Yes, Asahi is a terrible and very annoying kid, but he's also still just a kid.

Music info.

Milgram cover: All-Knowing All-Agony. (HE LITERALLY HAS AN IMAGINARY MOTHER. HE NEEDS HELP. But also he's scared of not being forgiven this time, so some lyrics describe that as well.)

DECO*27 cover: Fakery Tale. (I just think this song would sound very cute and soft (but also sad) as his cover.. Like I kinda imagine it sounding like a lullaby even?? (The instrumental would most likely be different in this case, probably a music box cover) But also some lyrics actually fit him and his backstory (and crime) a lot, like "a slightly lonely place, a somewhat kind and gentle one as well, I want to go there", "don't cry with that ashamed face, I want to forget it all and go back, I beg of you" and "I'll see you later, let's surely meet here someday, until then, good night". It makes me very sad to think about the last lyrics ("That body of mine disappeared, well then, where shall I go?"), because Asahi was kicked out of his new home by his adoptive father and he just.. walked, trying to find a place to stay or someone to ask for help. It's even more difficult than it already sounds, because his biological parents are dead and his adoptive mother as well, meanwhile his adoptive father doesn't want to do anything with him for a good reason. So.. yeah, he really had nowhere to go. It's highly possible that if he wasn't able to get any help before getting kidnapped and being brought to Milgram, he would've died of starvation or some other reasons (he could easily end up in a lot of dangerous situations because of his mental state), which makes him being the most demanding prisoner more understandable and really sad.)

Different Vocaloid producer cover: Selfish Princess by Fujiwo (Do I even have to explain anything. It's literally him.)

His T2 Trailer Voicelines:

"Oh! Eiji-nii, Miki-nee! Did you bring me something nice today as well?.. Miki-nee, why do you always look so pale when you talk to me? Did this guy do something bad to you? "It's nothing"?.. Okay then. Anyway, you're gonna forgive me this time too, right? You would never punish a poor child like me, right?.. I will be safe, right? You know that I'm still traumatized from what happened earlier, don't you?.."

*heavy breathing* "You.. Why did you say that?.. Did you really mean it?.."

His T2 Song Trailer Voiceline:

"Hey, does that mean they're firing you, Eiji-nii?"

Trivia:

Asahi's second image color was chosen because of his hair color.

As you've probably already guessed, Asahi really wants to be forgiven again, though it's hard to say if that will happen, considering his behavior.

Speaking of his verdict, interestingly, his VD shows him in a much more innocent light, but his MV shows him in a more guilty light and the ending is particularly creepy. It's like the opposite version of Kei's situation, because I personally think his VD still shows him as someone who's more "guilty" and his MV definitely shows him as someone who's more "innocent".

He's actually gonna reveal a lot about his murder this time!

Since Asahi's thoughts were affirmed, this is one of the reasons why he tries to act more "cute" and "soft" this time. To be honest, he thinks that he got forgiven only because he's a cute child and not because of his crime being understandable and something that can be forgiven, so.. yeah 😔

It may look like he has dark circles, but no, that's just the shading, haha. Though I think it would be fitting for him to have those, because he's not doing so well mentally, even though he was forgiven.

oh my god.. a job for me.. historical pierrot beach performer lol

when it comes to job prospects post-MLIS, work experience is equally if not more important (and getting as much of it as possible will help you get a better sense of what your area of interest is). some programs will have a "field experience" or capstone where you can do internships for credit, but those are often unpaid. if i could give my pre-MLIS self one piece of advice it would probably have been to pursue more library jobs during undergrad or take more time before starting grad school to feel out job stuff -- it's been tough to juggle both "resume" work and coursework. also, if you're asking because you're trying to decide on an undergrad major: i'd say definitely don't worry about it! just let your interests guide you. while most people in my program are from the humanities (esp public history on the archives side), there's no prerequisite in terms of academic credentials, and tbh there's nothing that will especially help you besides maybe compsci.

I did make that post bc I was trying to decide on what I wanted to do for undergrad, but I've settled on management and civic leadership which I'm hyped about (and it probably won't burn me out as much as doing a photography degree, which was my original plan!). I'm definitely gonna try to get a job at a library or maybe a museum if I can, but at the very least I'll volunteer at my local library because I've done that over the summers and it was super fun.

thanks for the advice! :D

i need to draw them too. i just have to figure out how.. what situation to put them in...

 xingqiu, gold accents, ginkgo leaves, the light golden color tea gets in sunlight

hu tao, also gold accents, mahogany wood, smoky things, spider lilies unfurling in the dark. but it would be cool to edit her art so it’s more high contrast (darker outfit and hair) with stark black plum branches against winter snow 

chongyun, white, clouds, wisps of chill wind. fluffy things and a big fur coat

majority red palette ningguang would also be cool

and of course, zhongli with gold orange. old man can’t beat the geo lord cor lapis soulmates (ambiguous relationship) with azhdaha allegations

job interview tomorrow?!?!!!

briefly confided in my mother (mistake i never learn from) about how i am very sad that my ability to have a social life in the world is tied entirely to my sibling, who will be leaving here soon, and how i do not have any other way to get out of the house and how i do not feel i have anything besides work and despite everything that came after, including an apology for saying it, the first thing she said was “well i don’t have anything else either” which is exactly what prevented me from saying anything earlier because i knew that and i know that she is very good at going “it is what it is” about the most miserable of conditions and so would never admit to being unhappy about anything even though there is so much to be unhappy about including having to raise me to begin with, and that she also gets annoyed when others complain or are unhappy about anything because SHE does it and so why can’t everyone do it. and. well. i am pretty nervous about what this means for my life (nonexistent) going forward

ALSO daj complimented my hair andnsaid it was very thick and looked nide and jm like :]]

The Avengers (1963) #16

me: if i can’t have fun with photoshop because i’m depressed, then i will watch youtube videos and finally get past my crochet mental block

also me: uh oh watching youtube videos means i have to pause my music and this playlist is amazing what now

the stare of judgemental confusion is real—

WHAT COLOUR CHARACTER ARE YOU ? 

RED CHARACTER.    Red characters tend to be both quiet and observant as well as loud and dramatic. They are often brash and impulsive, and tend to act on instinct rather than planning ahead. They are quite self-sacrificing, often veering into self-destructive, and they push themselves to their limits trying to succeed. They tend to be stubborn, and it might take a lot to change their mind. They have a hard time expressing their feelings, and may come off as either emotionless, self-absorbed, or perpetually angry. They don’t have a ton of friends, and when they do, it’s often by circumstance rather than choice (although they grow to fiercely love their friends). They are not usually innately good at fitting into social situations, and can be awkward and out of place in them. They can come off as unhumorous because of how sincere and honest they tend to be, but tend to just have a dryer, sarcastic sense of humor. They do often think of others first, but their motivations for it might not be entirely selfless. They usually have a hard time conceivably lying, and are quite earnest without meaning to be.They put their full effort into what they do, and push themselves to improve at all costs. They get easily defensive, and feel like they have to prove themselves to earn anyone’s respect. They have a strong sense of internal morality and high standards for themselves. They also hold others to their internal high standards, which can cause a lot of conflict if not worked out. They tend to have bad relationships with their parental figures, who were usually either absent or abusive, and contributed to their toxic view of themselves. At their core, red characters want to be loved and accepted, but have often been denied it, leading them to build up lots of defenses. Others need to be patient with them and give them a safe space to be themselves as they open up and begin to flourish.

tagged by: @perceptualephemera​ (thank yooooou! <3) tagging: anyone! i’m bad at tagging individuals lolol.