i think one of my earliest special interests was my chronically sick mother's disease. at the age of 11 i knew literally every medicine composition prescribed to my mom, every symptom of the disorder, information on alternative surgical and medical methods, all comorbid disorders and their treatments etc.

everyday, with limited 20 mins access to the internet, id keyword search medical terms on google and read all about it till it was my sisters turn to take up the pc lol. even the word kidney in casual conversations would make my heart beat faster and id get so excited. i remember we were doing the kidney bean/rajma germination science experiment and i was so crazy about it because it had the word kidney in it?? or that other time when a classmate mentioned her parent was a nephrology doctor and i was so hyped because id actually read 100s newspaper lists on doctors in the town and i recognised her dad too lol. or that time i overheard the word 'urea' in those old days doordarshan agriculture show on tv that would only run early in the morning and that actually made my whole day

learning about kidneys and disorders and organ failures and what not was actually fun to me i think? i mean i intellectually knew that my mother was literally dying of the thing that gave me so much pleasure but i think i was too young to emotionally access all of that. my younger sister, i think, compared to me was much more emotionally available on that front (no wonder that got her so fucked up as an adult tho lol).

looking back is truly so so bittersweet and intense and just plain weird. i still remember all of it so well but i know for sure most of it is probably just a version of what i wanted to remember. honestly im lowkey satisfied that this is the version i chose to carry on with me i think

Me as a kid: I realize that Wishbear in the carebears movies is a girl, but my specific Wishbear stuffed animal is a boy! >:(

Me as a kid: SQUISHY IS A GIRL!

Me as a kid: *yelling a lot because people kept misgendering my stuffed animals*

This is something that made me extremely angry throughout my childhood. It makes me just as angry now when people do it to other people as it did back then when it kept happening to my stuffed animals.

Im going to tell my kids this was moby dick

coffee shop au where aku comes in his miserable looking goth glory and orders a 'coffee. black' but atsushi takes one look at him and is like 'i know something u'll like more' and aku is like 'barista r u unable to do ur job? tch. fine, whatever. but if i dislike it i will have ur organs' and atsushi makes him the most outrageously sugary and fruity drink he can

aku loves it

his grinch impression has bewitched me body and soul

"i happened to not find this character very interesting or likeable" doesn't automatically mean they're an objectively bland and boring character it just means you have a personal opinion

Me, a child in 2003, not realising that Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire launched with a glitch that made berries take over 1 year in real time to grow: ....damn these berries taking a while huh

My vampire ex-boyfriend is stalking me. This is not an unusual occurrence. Even when we were still dating he was always doing this, he just used to be more obvious about it because if I called him out he already had a line locked and loaded about how he was only looking out for me. And sure, I'll admit that I've had more than the average number of near-death experiences for a seventeen year old, but at the risk of rehashing old arguments, a lot of that could've been avoided if he'd just turned me the first time I asked.

I've broken things off with my vampire ex-boyfriend a couple times before, usually for about the same reasons, but this time it's different. I think he's noticed it too. I'm not grieving anymore, not holing myself up in my room listening to sad music watching every gray day pass me by. I've talked to my friends, then to my dad, and they're on my side. My dad took a little longer to come around, but it helped that his best friend's son went through the same thing. It's good to have people around who want to support me, not just protect me.

My vampire ex-boyfriend didn't want me to be a vampire like him. He didn't want me to have sex, with him or anyone else. He didn't want me to go out with my friends without him there, but he also didn't want to come along. He didn't want me to go out after dark. He didn't want me to cut my hair. But he liked me, he really liked me. He liked that I didn't ever show much skin even in the summer. He liked that I didn't have any real hobbies or passions so that he could be the one to introduce me to music and fine art and literature. He liked that I kept my innermost thoughts so buried that they were a secret even to me.

I don't know for sure if I want to be a vampire anymore. I think I might, or at the very least I want to keep my options open, but it doesn't feel as urgent now that I know there are other ways to change myself. I used to think I needed it to be close to him. He was so beautiful, is so beautiful. My vampire ex-boyfriend, with his serious, brooding stare and his model chin and his body carved from the center of a pale diamond, his chiseled angles sharp enough to cut with just a glance. And then me beside him, with my long mousy hair and my fragile frame hidden beneath overlarge shirts and jeans when even a knee-length skirt made me feel too exposed. For all his sanguineous habits, I was the parasite, and he was the genuine article, and maybe that's why it hurt so much to have him reject me again and again. All I ever wanted was to burrow into his colorless skin, to feel what it was like to be strong and unyielding. My vampire ex-boyfriend hated his perfect body. He waxed poetic about my warmth, my softness. Maybe we were more alike than I thought in the end.

I load my old pickup truck full of lumber and nails and feel pleased by how much easier it is now that I've started to put on a little muscle. Working with my hands makes me feel more grounded in my body, so dad's enlisted my help in some of his DIY projects around the house. My collection of bandages is growing, from splinters and slips and the occasional dropped hammer, but my coordination grows a fraction less abysmal each day, and if I spill blood there's no one there to wince and whine about it.

I put a lock on my bedroom window. I pin photographs to my wall documenting my changes from month to month. Dad shows me how to shave without cutting myself, despite my insistence that if I could figure out my legs I can figure out my face. I smile more days than I don't. I still turn my head in the same direction when I hear a loud crack from beyond the treeline that's not quite thunder. I still visit his family, when he's not around. In another life I know his parents would've treated me like one of their own.

Just as I'm climbing into the driver's seat I hear a voice from the shadows, whispering the name of a stranger. I drive away. I've got no more interest in raising the dead.

I love getting validated on small things that I didn't even consider like it's always a treat and this time it's Gender

The Fundie Baby Voice™️ has been popping up a lot in ex-christian spaces lately and I actually had one in middle school and part of high school! I learned when and where to use it and how to turn up my southern accent just enough. I can still do it but it sounds weird after 3 years on T. The main place I used it was at church cause it made me sound sweet and polite. I used it for old ladies when I worked at a grocery store too. My family didn't like it when we were just all together cause they said it sounded like baby talk, but loved it when I used it at church cause everyone would tell them how sweet and soft-spoken I was

My therapist said it actively made him feel uncomfortable when I used that voice. He couldn't quite put his finger on why it made him uncomfortable (other than him only knowing me on T) but he very much did not like it and he's so so right for that

the thing about qslime is like. he’s BEEN in denial about flippa’s death ever since it happened. when the eggs were taken away when the brazilians first arrived he was fully expecting flippa to show back up with them, he actively went looking for her. this thing with codeflippa isn’t like… new. at all

also, tangentially related, i honestly feel like etoiles reassuring him that tilín’s death wasn’t his fault may have had a negative effect? at least in regards to how much guilt he feels. because his emotions are all in extremes — he either loves mariana or hates her guts. he either feels so guilty that he runs off thousands of blocks away and tries to summon an angel to bring tilín back or he doesn’t care anymore because it was “just an accident” (a sentiment which doesn’t extend beyond himself because he is, ultimately, as self-centred as he is self-unaware). charlie said it himself when going through the element rooms in cellbits castle — his character is entirely driven by emotion, and he’s an absolute wreck about it. that’s why his character would be blood (even if charlie himself chose energy/chaos)

the other islanders are very much used to how.. volatile he is. so they just kinda let it go (at least on the outside) as seen with cellbit, roier, phil, etc. hanging out with him and codeflippa and helping them do her “tasks” which obviously probably isn’t the best approach (except on an information gathering front, but i mean for slime specifically here) but like… how do you even help someone like that? someone so deep in that they can’t even see that they’re losing themself to something that isn’t even real. he’d have to get to a point where he actually lets himself realise that something is wrong but he just. can’t

this might be a weird question but could you please post the image you used for your pfp?? that was one of my childhood plushies that i havent seen in years. since you dont have your icon showing at the top of your mobile blog i cant enlarge it, and id really like to show my mom (and just see my pink cat again <3 )

hi! here she is in all her glory...

i tried reverse image searching and her name is orchid the cat, the toy company is called ty pinkys i think! ♡

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE WEIRDO AND NEED TO PROVE SOMETHING

I mean know as in you don't need to Google to find out what The Wiggles is

Also if you reblog, put in the tags where you grew up cause I also need to know if it's a regional thing

diabolik lovers it is so good conceptually if you just ignore the concept. we have a love hate relationship. its so silly. what is wrong with it. rip yui komori the best character love her sm.

ya joking about kentuckystroke is funny and all, but if we can be really for real for a second, drawing a connection between slade's character and the very specific cultural weirdnesses & religious... issues of rural appalachia is one of the most big-brained ideas in the history of comic books

it's only directly addressed like once & the rest of the time, it's just in subtle little references to a religious upbringing, but it's such an insanely perfect fit that all those disparate character traits i could just never really manage to find believable because there was no clear through-line or reason for any of it instantly added up like the second that fool started quoting the kjv from memory, everything about him suddenly made perfect sense

his weirdass "code" & completely amoral outlook on life has nothing to do with his brain being fried by being used as a human lab rat or as a way to rationalize murdering people for a living or whatever. that's literally just what growing up baptist does to a dude

Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!