#I get so mad! why are you /gendering/ the human experience of being impulsive and whimsical? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soysaucevictim · 3 years

Text

“I started thinking about human nature...”

Summary: Janus thinks Remus started off on entirely the wrong right foot with him. This is how they became best friends since. (Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tragicomedy, Comedy-Drama, I Don’t Know Man

Characters: Janus and Remus centric. Roman supporting.

Relationships: Dukeceit (platonic), Creativitwins (familial), Pre-Roceit (ambiguous)

Warnings: Injuries/blood, Creativitwin angst, implicit queerphobia, implicit ableism, physical abuse, disownment, chronic illness (psoriasis), Enemies to Best Friends, Remus Being Remus, Remus Is a Little Shit, Trans Masc / Nonbinary Remus, Janus Is A Good Friend, Remus Is A Good Friend, 2e Remus (Twice Exceptional), Protective Roman, Roman Is A Good Brother, Roman Isn’t Having a Good Time, Tonal Whiplash (Seriously)

Janus knew Remus since they were in high school. On age difference, they easily might’ve just missed each other – 4 years. But Remus did jump a grade in elementary school, demonstrating a precocious knack for SOME arenas of academics.

He was clearly gifted, especially when it came to things of mechanical nature. But he was also just as clearly troubled. It was a crying shame that most people paid more attention to the latter part. Truly.

So they met, when Janus was a junior and Remus a freshman.

Janus was also partway into the school’s 3+3 DPT program, to speed the process up for him to get to be a physical therapist in a few years out of high school. He had his reasons for that, reasons he’d much rather disclose to very few people.

Other than the market demand, to be sure. It wasn’t because he cared about people, and he’d be obstinate about making that point clear.

Remus wasted no time to leave an impression on the student body, in the first month of the school year. Though, at the time, no one knew it was him.

Janus was minding his own business in chemistry class when the school’s sprinkler systems went off. But something was… wrong.

It – it smelled like AXE body spray. Janus thought it was mostly water that went through the pipes, but it was unmistakable and overwhelming. He was caught by surprise like everyone else was, but still attempted to play it cool as he shoved his belongings into the desk to try to salvage them from the deluge.

Mr. Sanders yelped, just as confused as everyone else in the room, “What in the name of-!? I-I guess it’s fire drill time. Let’s go, class. Quickly and calmly.”

It turned out the entire first floor of the building was set off and only that floor (this campus had two of them).

The entire floor, positively reeked of the stuff for days. No one was was able to figure out what miscreant was responsible for this. Janus would absolutely leisure in the chaos of the student body and staff smelling like they vaped canisters of body spray. But, you see, Janus’s skin took objection to the whole experience, rather quickly.

At the tail end of middle school, Janus developed a few rashes, probably from stress or perhaps as a result of a strep infection. Which he quickly learned from his family doctor to be psoriasis, which was just fantastic. So, the chemical assault aggravated the already flaring up patches on his face and hands. He could give less of a shit about what other students would say about his appearance, but holy hell did it ITCH.

He was determined to figure out who the hell was responsible, to give him a piece of his mind.

Things appeared to go without incident for sometime, nearly a month. Not without Janus warily scanning the classrooms and occasionally the rest of the campus for anyone that just set off any alarm bells.

He finally met eyes with him in the cafeteria. Well, he still didn’t know that at the time.

Just this kid who dressed like a hot mess and rather ambiguously gendered lounging in the corner picking their nose and looking like they were about to doze off. It was as if someone threw a punk, an emo, and a dragster in a blender. Hit frappe, topping it all off with toxic green and black coat of paint. They really stood out, yet no one dared to approached them.

Janus did read some big “FUCK OFF” energy from him. Still, he was curious, “Hey.”

This kid’s attention snapped up pretty quick, with an excessive amount of drama to it, “And who might yooou be?”

Janus decided to withhold his name, just in case, “Dee. You?”

The kid shrugged, boldly going the flirtatious route, “Whatever you want me to be.”

“… I’m not interested in that… right now. You new around here?”

“Maaaybe.”

Janus was sure it was a shot in the dark, but he was getting increasingly agitated with his face, “Were you here during the AXE incident recently?”

The kid perked up suspiciously, “Maybe I was. Maaaybe I wasn’t.”

Janus lightly rubbed the patch on his cheek before pinching his nose in exasperation, “Can you not with this evasive bullshit?”

“Oooh... feisty.”

Perhaps his patience was on the thin side, but Janus felt a building urge to slap this fool. He sighed, “Well. Let’s just say – urg-”

The itching was unbearable at this point and he started to furiously rub his offending hand through his gloves. The kid looked almost concerned, “Uh. You okay?”

Janus lied through his teeth, “I’m fine. But whoever was responsible for that body spray shit certainly won’t be…”

The kid started to crack. Torn between seeming to find pleasure in making Janus squirm and a glint of actual concern. This only made Janus more mad, if he was perfectly honest. Janus just snipped out, “I don’t know what your angle is here, but I will figure it out.”

The kid seemed insulted, placing a hand on their chest, “I have no idea what the fuck your problem is, man. You came to me with the 20 Questions!… heh.”

Janus groaned, unsure of where he should take this, his gut telling him he was looking at the perpetrator of his current bout of absolute suffering. He could only muster turning on his heels and give the kid the “I’m watching you” signal.

The kid just cackled uproariously as they parted ways.

Yeah, Janus was certain that kid was responsible. He just knew it.

The two of them shared a pre-calculus class and the kid was just… snoring at their desk, by the time it was almost up. Ms. Crofters didn’t appreciate the insubordination, “SANCHEZ.”

Everyone was already starting to file out of the room, since the bell rang. Morning classes were rough for everyone, but this kid looked exhausted, actually. No, Janus was determined not to pity them. Janus simply watched the exchange play out.

“Sanchez” smacked their lips blearily responding with, a simple “… what?”

The teacher sighed and softened, “You really need to take this more seriously, I know you have so much potential, to be a freshman placed in this class. You just need to-”

They grumbled and rolled their eyes, “Whatever.”

The teacher remained seated, decided she was going nowhere and started to grade some papers in the break in between classes. Sanchez took the cue to stand up with their things and leave. Not before Janus was noticed for staring at the whole situation. Sanchez was surprisingly icy, “You got a problem with me, too?”

“Plead the fifth.”

Janus was now intrigued, sensing they might be a lot sharper than they seemed. Hints at them being more capable of pulling off tampering with the sprinkler system in such a noxious fashion.

Janus confronted them in the hallway, fiddling through their locker, “Don’t lie to me, Sanchez.”

Sanchez rolled their eyes, still playing coy, “Whatever do you mean, Dee?”

“I KNOW you fucking did it.”

“Did what?”

“I don’t know, not the surprise assault on the senses, weeks into the year!?”

“… your rash is looking pretty angry.”

“NAH. YOU THINK SO?!”

Sanchez finally began to placate a little, “Okay, I’m… I’m sorry.”

Janus was taken aback, not expecting the apology so easily, “What was that?”

“Hahaha… a few other kids wound up in the hospital thanks to that stunt I pulled. Asthma and shit like that. Almost got in a little bit of hot water.”

Staff still refused to state who perpetrated the mess, maybe this kid was far more brilliant than Janus could imagine.

“I didn’t take you for the kind of person who would give a damn about that sort of stuff.”

Sanchez simply shrugged in response.

Janus found himself staring into Sanchez’s locker, at random parts of electronics and diagrams haphazardly piled into it. “… what’s in there?”

“I dunno. Projects?”

“How helpfully vague.”

“Look, I just like keeping my hands busy, you know, fuck around and find out.”, Sanchez snorted at their own choice of words.

“Why… why did you put AXE in the system, in the first place?”

Sanchez threw up their arms and just said, “I dunno. One moment, it just started off as a ‘you know what would be fucking hilarious’ thought and the next I was going at the preaction sprinkler valve with a wrench, a bunch of cans of Provoke, and a soldering iron.”

“Aaand no part of you went, ‘why don’t we sleep on it’?”

“SLEEP!? Sleep is for the weak, amigo.”

Janus gave them a withering glare, personally greatly appreciating a good snooze himself, “I guess impulse control really isn’t your forte?”

They were overly chipper, “NOPE.”

For some reason, Janus couldn’t stay mad at this point. There was just something strangely endearing about them.

The two of them wound up hanging out together more.

Up until that point, Janus just migrated from friend group to friend group, making himself kind of a chameleon to any ne’er-do-wells who might’ve wanted to get a rise out of him. He was good at not taking shit from people and he was usually left alone for it.

Sanchez eventually told Janus that he wanted to be called Remus. That he was actually a guy… mostly. Sort of. Good enough, as far as Janus was concerned.

Janus returned the favor of trust, telling him his actual name. Still choosing not to explain anything, but glad that Remus didn’t make any potshots about how it sounded. Remus was fast warming up to him.

Mutually, they surprised each other about their own predilections for anarchy, and they really hit things off in that department. Janus just had two stipulations: not being the collateral damage again… and maybe Remus should show a little more concern for his own well-being and safety.

(To this day, Janus wasn’t particular successful about the latter part.)

One of the next most notable/notorious stunts perpetrated by Remus, neared the end of his freshman year.

A voice blared into the intercom system, ran through some distortion filters to make it less obvious to most people. Several octaves lower and static-y, “Goood morning, bitches, bastards, and everyone else! Thank you for listening to KRAX radio! I’m your host for today, The Duke of Butts himself. Ready for some garbage?! No?! Well, too bad!”

Janus, was split between cracking up and pretending to be just as alarmed as everyone else.

An obnoxious record scratch was heard through the building before an unholy remix of the likes of “Never Gonna Give You Up”, “All-Star”, and “Gangnam Style” started playing. It was the most beautiful and awful thing Janus had ever heard, it brought a tear to his eyes.

His fellow students eventually broke down laughing – in fact several neighboring classrooms worth were cheering and booing.

The teacher was far less amused, angrily dialing for the school administrators probably to report his disdain. It was in vain, since he was drowned out by the classroom and the broadcast.

Silence on the intercom.

The students went “awww” about it.

The teacher tried again, getting though, “You heard that right!? Yeah. Okay. Make sure to catch whosoever responsible for whatever the hell tomfoolery that was!”

Things seemed to quieted down.

That is until the first lunch period, “Goood afternoon, it’s me again! Bet y’all missed me! Huh!? Anyways, time for another plate full of Shitcago.”

Janus snorted as the scratch sample lead into yet another audible travesty. “Sandstorm”, “Shooting Stars”… and “Peanut Butter Jelly Time”.

There was a lot of gasping in awe at the shear audacity, Janus felt a sense of pride. Remus outdid himself, this time.

By then everyone was wondering when this entertainer would show up again.

A few minutes before school was to be dismissed, there was one final broadcast, “Goood evening, fuckers! Have a parting gift from me, before y’all head off to the shitty places you call home!”

Janus winced at the concerning subtext.

Next, Remus outright said, “Record Scratch!?”, for the segue. And what played next… was just “Chemical Bomb” by the Aquabats. Not quite the same level of aural hell as the previous sets… but that did get the school staff REALLY squirrely.

Remus didn’t actually talk much about his home life.

Janus came to learn that he had a brother and that his parents just weren’t in the picture anymore. Beyond that?

Whenever Janus gently prodded that hornet’s nest, Remus deflected constantly. Janus desisted after awhile, growing to respect this quirky kid’s boundaries. But that didn’t stop Janus from speculating that something volatile was brewing, Remus getting more and more agitated.

That didn’t stop the two of them from occasionally orchestrating some more dramatic pranks on the school over the next year. Janus helping him with being more discretionary. Remus also did well to shore up Janus’s own vaguely threatening reputation to the school.

(The fact he was going into the care industry, notwithstanding and completely irrelevant.)

It was a small miracle Remus managed to never get caught for his bigger stunts. But he did get more and more disciplinary action against him as Remus cared less and less about this school.

Janus was on track and since graduated with surprisingly little incident. Swearing Remus would see him out with a bang, at this point. Janus went straight to a local college, him coming by a family inheritance was a real boon for him to focus on himself.

But, they still kept in touch. Halfway into Remus’s senior year, Remus started a worrisome text conversation with him.

“Hey, can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Sure? Something happen?”

“Uh. I may’ve fucked up. Badly.”

“Listening.”

“I’d rather talk about it in person.”

“Ok? Need ride?”

“I maaay already be halfway to your place. Also, I’m taking my brother over...”

“Pls don’t tell me you’re txting while you drive. Wait – brother?”

A pause, Janus almost imagined Remus sighing, “… I’ll explain later.”

Remus arrived at Janus’s doorstep looking like even more of a mess than usual.

There was a bright red hand print on Remus’s face, and clear evidence that he had been crying heavily. The makeup he usually wore washed down his cheeks. Which felt like a twist of a knife in Janus’s chest, this was the opposite of the unflappable goblin of a friend he grew accustomed to.

Remus only mentioned his brother in passing a few times. Part of the whole “I refuse to talk about my family” thing. But Janus was observant enough to note that there was a ghost of a smile whenever he talked about Roman, more than anyone else.

Janus had missed the chance to really get to see him thanks to their age difference and the fact Roman barely kept up with his age grade (compared to Remus). He wasn’t informed why.

Roman was certainly in worse shape, physically. Remus had him to his side, arm over the shoulder for support. Roman’s nose and mouth dribbled with blood, he had a black eye showing, and the arm that wasn’t around Remus hung limply. Roman was woozy, but noticed he was getting stared at, “You just… going to... let me bleed all over your porch or-?”

Asking why the hell these two weren’t in the hospital was a foregone conclusion, so Janus ushered them in.

When they all filed into Janus’s living room. One thing was becoming clear. Roman’s arm was wrenched out of socket and Janus bit his lips, “I’m pretty sure that needs a closed reduction. But, I’ve only really done one of those yet, in my training. That is, if nothing is actually broken.”

Remus’s eyes were blown wide, “Well?”

Janus inhaled sharply through his teeth, “It’s not like this is totally a proper a clinic… I can’t exactly give him much to make putting his arm back in socket… Bearable.”

Roman looked like he couldn’t focus on anything other than all the pain, and stayed quiet.

Janus knew he was being unusually pensive, but now’s not the time to unpack that, “Can I see that arm? Just. Just so I have a better idea of what to do about it?”

Roman simply grunted and nodded.

Janus sidled next to him and looked at the injury and gently prodded the area to get a better physical sense of what was wrong here. He didn’t exactly have imaging to go off of, nor a licensed care team, or really anything. This was… so messed up.

Roman winced a little as Janus touched some bruises and aggravated nerves, but let him continue to attend it. Janus, while looking at it still, gulped and asked them, “Um… care to tell me what the hell happened?”

Roman just looked down, unable to talk. Remus started stammering, “T-tío Esteban. Found out about everything and lost his patience with-”

Janus unfortunately couldn’t fully unpack what Remus meant there, he had a few ideas, but still grimaced. That said, Janus’s memory from training was getting jogged, looking at his brother. “Roman, was it? Let’s check to see how much your arm is working now? Get a better sense of the damage here…”

Janus ran through the actions to test how good his nerves and blood supply were, thankfully Roman was remaining conscious and showing some hopeful signs. Janus then left and did as he said, “I’m going to grab a sling, before we do anything else…”

When he came back, “Care to lie on your belly with your left arm hanging off the couch? I’m – I’m only going to try this once. Because I don’t have shit like lidocaine to give you. If it’s not going to work, I don’t want to-”

The brothers sighed, as if they both knew and dreaded what Janus meant. Roman flopped into position on the couch, without another word. Except for some short gasps of pain, probably brushing bruises Janus couldn’t see and aggravating the offending shoulder.

Remus was uncharacteristically timid, glancing at Roman and then at Janus, “He-he stood up for me. The dumb ass. He-he didn’t need to out himself too and-”

Roman hushed Remus.

Janus nodded as he started manipulating Roman’s shoulder blade in a subtle and gentle fashion. This seemed to surprise Roman, “This… isn’t anything like the movies, huh?”

“Well, there are more… forceful techniques. But I’d rather not resort to that.”

Roman mumbled, “… sorry to burden you.”

Janus just sighed, not wanting to address what was buried in that statement either.

Soon enough, Roman sighed in relief once Janus put his shoulder back in place and put that sling on him. Janus did stress he should still get that looked at, totally uncharacteristically prepared to open his wallet for the costs, if need be.

For the longest time, it was a shame that Roman didn’t remember very much of what happened, that night. Maybe it was too much trauma for him to access, maybe Roman just wanted to distance himself from it, but Janus wasn’t going to be that kind of “doctor”. When they later rediscovered each other in the gym, years later, it was like they were simply acquaintances. Which hurt… a little.

But Remus certainly remembered. And reminded him how grateful he was, fairly often.

It equally hurt seeing Remus being so hesitant, “Can you… can you help us… you know? He doesn’t want us back home, after-”

“Not even a question, dear.”

#spilled musing #sanders sides #janus sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #gymrat au #(okay... time to refocus on the iZ!AU~)#(despite remus winding up in adv placement courses... he's still an understimulated underacheiver by conventional measures)#(/unconventionally/ extra af tho)

3 notes · View notes

sveasauvageon · 4 years

Photo

Nothing happened to me. I happened. || GW

☾♔; March 19, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk yet ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER ☾♔; GW NPC Audition II ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Preamble Ramble: finally an opportunity to write for my favourite psychopath (also probs my fave out of all the characters I've ever made. soz everyone else)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Dominika Grigoryevna Vororina, (approx 460)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a, I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ice cold ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I role my eyes at you, boy ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Cool Girl by Tove Lo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS

Nickname: Nika, Professor Vororina (generally addressed as such, rather than as a nickname), Khalessi (self-applied), Professor Khaleesi (makes students call her that, mostly first and second years as a joke, somewhat, older students whom she is "fond" of may continue calling her that, or people trying to be a teacher's pet), Rurikovna (literally; "daughter of Rurik", it's a self-applied title as well) Gender: cis-female Date of Birth: Vaguely winter (it was a long time ago) Place of Birth: Moscow Kremlin Nationality: Russian (she's held a bunch of citizenships over the years, but she's gone back to Mother Russia recently) Ethnicity: Eastern Slav Accent: Russian Blood Status: muggle-born/half-breed (of sorts)

Profession: Potions Professor at Hogwarts (also Head of Slytherin House)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Rebecca Ferguson

Hair: She's had an array of colours over the centuries, always long, but the styles have varied over the centuries. She currently favours fiery red or slivery-gold/platinum, changes it on a whim. Could be Russian witch stereotype red in the morning, and then Khaleesi coloured in the evening.

Eyes: Blue-green, occasionally they seem to flash red, though she claims that's just a trick of the light (or is it? tun, tun, tun!)

Height: 1.7m

Weight: idk, but also what does it matter, she's immortal and basically undead, her body doesn't change.

Body: lean, lithe, unnaturally attractive

Any Scars/ Marks?: none

Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: just her ears, triple pierced or whatever for ear cuffs.

Quirks/ Mannerisms: - eerily silent, she doesn't make any noise when she moves, no matter what she's wearing. - some may notice her smirking to herself in the corner now and again when chaos is erupting in the foreground (did she 'cause it, is she approving of it? Who knows)

Style: expensive. She likes wearing dark and/or vivid colours, as well as sharp and elegant clothing. Her style can best be described as "instilling fear in the hearts of men". Well, that's her wardrobe's goal, anyway.

Additional Information: - wears a f u c k ton of heels, like, always, and yet they never make any noise - always seems to have a little box (or whatever) of fries/chips (whatever you wanna call it, as a north american, I call 'em fries) in her hands - likes wearing crosses, mainly as an inside joke with herself

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:

Head cannon: Nika has a slightly complicated reputation, well, first off, she's a teacher, so she's not really involved with the hierarchy, she's outside of it. Her reputation, however, runs as either the coolest or scariest teacher. It really depends on how "interesting" she finds a student, she will spend time with them (positively or negatively), if she finds them to be "dull", however, they literally look like furniture to her, she will speak without ever hearing them. She's both a chill and strict teacher, if you get the work done, you can do whatever you want, if you're goofing off without doing anything or proving to be a nuisance whilst she's speaking, you may find your cauldron spontaneously exploding. She can also be chilling with the nuisances, if someone is speaking whilst she is, the cauldron will go "boom" whilst she continues on with the lesson as though nothing dramatic is happening. She's not an all together bad teacher though, if she finds people interesting, she'll spend time with them and actually attempt to pass on knowledge and throw questions at them during class, and even ask about their problems and whatnot if they're looking down (though it has been observed that her "advice" does not lead to the best result, and more often than not results in more difficult and complicated situations for the person). Additionally, whilst she does not actively hide that she's a vampire, she also does not go out of her way to confirm that. But does make nerdy "full moon tonight, don't be out too late" type jokes.

Theme Song: Khaleesi by Ramin Djawadi

Personality (+ 5, - 5): Psychopath. like, a real proper psychopath, not just as a word thrown around at homicidal maniacs or selfish dovchebags, she feels literally nothing, and not in a "cool girl" way, she can't feel anything, her brain's just not wired for it. She generally displays herself as a confident, intelligent, classy, and elegant, well-educated, proud European, and is seemingly easy to befriend and get along with so long as you like clever things and/or sarcasm. However, she's faking all of that. She doesn't really "feel" anything, and one could describe her as being "empty". Her entire personality has been meticulously built by herself over the centuries to best and most easily fit in with society and not draw unwanted attention to herself. All of her emotions and personality traits are things she's mimicking from people she's met, and she was doing so before she even became a vampire. Having been born a psychopath, she doesn't have the same emotional range that normal people do, she just can't feel anything, she's incapable of it. She has a complete lack of remorse and guilt, she doesn't even have the same "biological imperative" impulse that the rest of us have when it comes to blood relations and their safety. A majority of her relationships are superficial, based on physical attraction and/or mild amusement, but genuine and deep relationships is a struggle for her. Next to impossible, it's not that she doesn't want to care about pretty boy 57, it's just that she can't, also who cares about such disposable people anyway?. Having said that, it's not impossible for her to actually care, it's rare, extremely, but not impossible. In her entire life (which is nearing 500 years and including all potential plotting), she only formed a genuine bond with (up to) three people, and her own family is not on that list. So when she does genuinely care about a person, she's extremely protective of them, given how rare it is, and is excessively aggressive towards any she deems has or may harm them.

Nika is genuinely very logical and rational, and has a rather scientific mind. Or more one of a mad scientists'. She's extremely curious about the nature of humanity, and one can even say that she "enjoys" experimenting on them by forcing them into complex and difficult situations and observing how they react. She also has a tendency to experiment on herself, as a child she would harm herself, not out of a sui.cidal desire, but to see how much pain she could tolerate, if she would feel fear when she got close to death, if she would/could cry, etc. (she didn't cry, or get scared, but her heart rate went up sometimes, which was fascinating). When drugs became a thing, she took literally all of them at various doses and mixes just to see how it would affect her as a witch and a vampire. She also experimented on animals, she's stopped now, except with dogs, she kills them after the third annoying bark (I'm sorry, but she's a psychopath, that's what they do! TT_TT). She's never grossed out and probably too okay with blood and guts, and too good at dealing with it. Highly organized, and punctual, she displays a reckless and complete disregard for the safety of herself and others (with the exception of those whom she has a genuine bond with). She's a pervasive liar, deceptor, manipulator, and is quite narcissistic, and superficially charming. Whilst rage is not a common "emotion" she experiences, irritation is one that she can genuinely feel, and when genuinely irritated by something, she has a tendency to cause it immense physical pain before ultimately killing it.

Any mental health issues: she's a genuine psychopath, whilst she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, according to society, she's messed up.

Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "Nothing happened to me. I happened." - NBC's Hannibal, said by the titular character, and definitely something Nika would say because I'm a nerd who makes references. - "I have what used to be called an axis II personality disorder. So you can scream and cry, and beg all you want. You can tell me about your spouse and kids, all about your happy little life. When I kill you and them, I won't feel a thing." - okay, there isn't much context for her to use that now, but she totally used it before, or a version of it. - "It's amazing how easily the human brain can be manipulated." - "You think I was damaged? Some childhood trauma? That's so sweet." - said by Root from Person of Interest - "You should know torture almost never produces good information. Well, almost never." - also said by Root, she has the best quotes tbh - "I bleed like everyone else, but I don't feel. My heart rate won't even go up. Cut me open and let's see if I scream." - again, not something she has much opportunity to say now and days, but defs something she's said in the past. - "How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything, but irrelevant." - said by greer, also from person of interest "You don't take over the world with gaudy displays of violence. Real control is surgical, invisible. It interferes only when necessary. " - also said by greer

Additional Information: - animals naturally fear her, some even go to extremes to avoid her, and dogs tend to bark at her whenever she passes by (part of why she hates them so much, also, should mention, they've been doing that since before she became a vampire. It's the psychopath they instinctively fear, well, now, the vampire too) - Seems to know every language there has ever been. - piano and violin (she had time to kill) - quite good at video games (where as I am trash), enjoys open-world/high fantasy games like The Witcher and Dragon Age

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ BIOGRAPHY

Relation to your OC: professor

♣️ Family Background

Nika is from a mainly muggle family, her father was Ivan IV aka Ivan the Terrible, first official Tsar of all the Russias (later Russian Empire) and her mother was Anastasia Romanova of the House of Romanov (later became Tsars themselves until the Bolshevik revolution and establishment of the Soviet Union). Her father had multiple wives and mistresses, resulting in numerous siblings and half-siblings.

Through the union of her father and mother she had 6 full-blooded siblings, many of whom died in infancy; Anna Ivanovna, Maria Ivanovna, Dmitri Ivanovich, Ivan Ivanovich, Eudoxia Ivanovna, and Feodor Ivanovich (later Feodor I). She had two half-siblings from her father's later marriages, Vasili Ivanovich, born to her father's second wife; Maria Temryukovna, and Dmitri Ivanovich, born to her father's seventh and final wife; Maria Nagaya.

Nika maintained a mostly positive relationship with her father's numerous wives. Her mother died less than two years after her birth, so she didn't know her well, but a maid later admitted to Nika that the Tsaritsa was somewhat off put by baby Nika's lack of crying. With her step-mothers, she was well-behaved and polite, but she never cared for them. They provided no interest to her, and by the fourth wife, she began viewing them the same as mistresses or as toys, to serve a purpose and be quickly replaced with they failed in their purpose. She found his fifth wife; Anna Vasilchikova, enjoyable and even endearing to an extent, however, she didn't remain long and was quickly forced into nunnery.

As for her father, they had a somewhat contentious relationship. It was the 1500's, so there was the whole "women are less than men" thing going on, something which Nika never understood as a logical concept. She was always smarter, stronger, and more able than Feodor (her elder brother by just a year)since infancy (oh, also, she didn't like Feodor. She considered him weak, and a pointless existence who would've been better off as furniture). Regardless of that, however, they did get along on certain things, especially when it came to the Oprichnina and Ivan's darker habits, which she shared and initially some would say she inherited from him, until later seeing acts that outweighed anything even Ivan would dare to do. Their relationship later completely deteriorated when he killed her brother, and his heir, Tsarevich Ivan.

Ivan was always her favourite sibling. Of all the Tsar's children (excluding Nika herself, or rather Vasilia as she was called then), Ivan was best able to handle the Tsar's moods and behaviours, and similarly best able to handle Nika's psychopathy (the Tsar wasn't a psychopath, fyi, from what I've read, he was definitely paranoid, I would say paranoid schizophrenic, but they're not usually violent, and Ivan IV was super violent. It could've been due to the time period and the power he had, but meh. I'm not a professional, just a bad student). Anyway, back to little Vasilia and big brother Ivan. Out of all the others, he was the only one not immediately terrified by her darker tendencies, and even convinced their father to allow 11 year old Vasilia to join them during the Massacre of Novgorod, thinking (correctly), that she would enjoy it (she loathed when they retired to church for prayer though). Although he never fully realized how different she truly was, Ivan was the one who taught Nika to mimic her emotions and behave as a proper Tsarevna, and allowed her to express her displeasure and dislike, and every other "abnormal" emotion she experienced in private with him (some stuff which did freak the fu.ck out, especially, what she admitted to doing to the pet dog of a courtier she found annoying). Following Ivan's death and an argument with her father, she left Russia, but not before taking the cane Ivan IV used to kill Ivan with and burying it in the latter's tomb with him.

♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin House, Russian Ministry of Magic, Rurik Dynasty, House of Romanov, Russian Throne, Koldovstoretz, The Bolsheviks, The Society for the Tolerance of Vampires in London (she joined jokingly, but they still haven't grasped that),

♣️ Socio-economic status: confusing. She seems to have a lot of money, but her pay from Hogwarts is not enough to cover all her tastes and material objects. Few dare to question her, but for those few who do, her answer for where her money comes from is simply "history"

Quick facts:

Born in 1558 (February 3, though she claims she's forgotten the exact date), she is the last daughter of Tsar Ivan IV with his first wife; Anastasia Romanovna. At birth, she was given the name Vasilisa Ivanovna, and was an odd infant from the get go. Whereas her numerous other siblings cried, she never did, even as an infant, which unsettled her mother, though her father was pleased by it. As she aged, she began to realize she was different than her peers, and not just because of her position. She was indifferent to their fears about wars, and was not easily distracted by shiny things or "cute" animals as they always were. Some maids would joke behind her back that she was "undead" child, as she never displayed any joy or interest, or any emotion really. She would only animatedly chat with her elder brother, Ivan. However, Vasilia truly came alive upon her father's creation of the Oprichnina. She was only a child when it was formed, less than 10 (between 6-7), but would attend every execution, and was noted to have had a chilling grin on her face as the "traitors" (as labelled by her father) were killed one by one.

Nika discovered magical abilities at age 5, when a playmate brought over her new puppy to show Nika and the other royal/noble children. It's barking was driving Nika mad, and it suddenly lost it's voice. She later developed more control over her abilities, using them to slow down blades as it moved through someone's neck, framing annoying maids and servants for theft, sometimes setting them on fire. Ivan was the first to find out about her magic, and out of fear that she may be burned, did his best to hide her magic. They were found out by their father's third wife; Marfa Sobakina, whose mother was a witch (making her a squib). Instead of being ratted out, however, Marfa was able to convince the Tsar to send Nika to a far away boarding school, excellent for girls of "her" nature, and refining her into a lovely young woman, instead of the oddly, blood thirsty child people feared her to be.

Although beginning at Koldovstortez, she flourished there, particularly when it came to the dark arts and dueling, she had an uncanny knack for using any potion and/or spell to cause harm to others, both physical and emotional. After completing her education, she never pursued a career in the magical world, she was a vital piece on the chessboard of royal problems, and instead fell in line with her siblings, marrying a muggle boyar of her father's choosing (she has forgotten his name at this point though. Nikolay? Dmitri? Viktor? She can't recall), however, she was simultaneously engaging in an affair with a woman named Maria Dolgorukaya (regarded by history as an entirely fictitious wife of Ivan IV), who was secretly a vampire, drawn to muggle court games. Together they disgraced and ruined many nobles, a number of whom lost their heads to her paranoid father. Whilst their relationship was passionate and explosive (especially for other people), the true extent of Nika's care for Maria remains unknown, she was more than expendable to her, but she certainly did not "care" for her in the way that she did for her brother. They engaged in an argument, which eventually grew physical and resulted in Nika's turn into a vampire and Maria's corpse floating in the river (it's unclear how she died though). About a year later, her brother died too and she left Russia.

Before 1692, Nika spent a lot of time in the muggle world, particularly in royal courts, and "played" various roles, including; advisor, mistress, royal mistress, seductress, assassin, tutor, governess, maid, agente provocatrice (a female who entices one to act criminally and/or against their best interest), noblewoman, damsel in distress, and damsel doing damage. After the International Statute of Secrecy became law, she left the muggle world for a while, engaging with the newly cut off wizarding world, and she found real joy in settling into their small tight-knit communities and stirring up drama (ala desperate housewives). However, that thrill only last for so long, and she turned her attention back to the muggles. In 1888, she ran about Whitechapel, in London, England, as the infamous and still unidentified (to the rest of the world) muggle serial killer; Jack the Ripper. Masquerading as a nurse at the time, she killed only the canonical five, and her spree was initiated by interest in police procedure and behaviour. Following the thrill of the chase, she ended up back in Mother Russia, where she took part in Bloody Sunday, also known as Red Sunday, Jan. 22, 1905, and fired upon the unarmed demonstrators as a member of the Imperial Guard. She later changed her identity and became a member of the Bolsheviks, and took an active role in the Revolution of 1917. She became an informal member of Lenin's cabinet, and was the original person to set the Romanov execution into motion, though, it was never traced back to her, and they were also distant cousins of hers.

During Soviet Russia, she based herself in Sverdlovsk (present day Yekaterinburg), where she created a sort of cult of vampires, dark magic, and murder. Whilst the humans made Sverdlovsk an economical powerhouse, she made the city a hub of supernatural superiority, deviance, and debauchery. It was impossible to walk two steps without running into one supernatural being or another, most of whom were vampires and/or dark wizards. She spent the longest amount of time in Sverdlovsk, as compared to the rest of her vampire life, living there from 1925 - 1989. Having grown bored, she allowed hunters and whatnot to enter the city and "cleanse" it, whilst she escaped and moved elsewhere in Europe. After acquiring the identity of "Dominika Vororina", she accepted the offer of a position as a professor at Hogwarts, mostly of out renewed boredom with the muggle world.

Additional Information: - despite having lived for nearly 500 years, she's never stepped foot in the united states. - most of Nika's life is defined by involvement with muggles, she's never really had any close ties to the magical world, which also allows her to more easily hide the nations worth of bodies and mayhem in her past

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Hogwarts school stats: n/a She never attended Hogwarts as a student, however, Nika is an alumni of Koldovstoretz, where she held a dark reputation, even as a Russian in the late 1500's. She was rumoured to practise dark magic (of the illegal and murderous variety) and consort with a displaced group of dark wizards from the recently sacked Novgorod Republic (ironically, it was her father that sacked them anyway). Largely, she was a solitary student, though in later life she would claim that's because they were scared of her station (whether or not this is true is up for debate, as she uses a wistful tone and has an expression of "struggling to hold back laughter" on her face).

Any Pets?: none, animals fear her. Especially dogs. And she in turn loathes those grimy mutts. She does like dragons though, and they're the only known creatures not to instinctively fear her or attack on instinct.

Reputation at Hogwarts: (mixed in with the headcanon part, meh, she's a teacher and not a student anyway, so her "rep" doesn't really matter)

Additional Information: n/a

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ INDIVIDUAL MAGIC

Wand: Vine Wand Core: Thestral tail hair Wand Length: 11 ¾" Wand Flexibility: swishy

Patronus: Dementor

Boggart: it appears in it's true form before her or simply takes her shape, as she is a genuine psychopath who does not feel real fear. She's never disclosed it's appearance to anyone though, originally it was out of a need to keep her psychopathy hidden, later, simply "just 'cause", and a desire to forever leave the suckers (everyone else) guessing.

Amortentia: Amortentia potions don't emit any scent for her, as a psychopath, she is incapable of emotions like love. Whilst it's not completely impossible for her to form a genuine bond with someone, a lot of that is dependent on what that person does for her, like an uncle teaching her to hone her abilities or explore her psychopathy. Those genuine bonds are always selfish on her part, and exceedingly rare. She can't feel love the same way as normal people, she didn't even form a bond with her parents, and doesn't experience attraction (of the romantic and/or sexual kind) in the same way that regular people do.

Affinity to any particular magic? - wandless magic (she's quite proficient with it, and rarely uses a wand at all) - nonverbal spells - whilst talented with dark magic in general (she's a psychopath, how else will she magically experiment on living things), the cruciatus curse is probably her favourite, and she can perform it both nonverbally and wandlessly.

Additional Information: - although many things about Nika have changed over the centuries, including her name, her wand is the only thing that remains unchanged from when she first obtained it in 1571

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ USER INFORMATION

Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: https://goo.gl/hgLGub Moodboard: https://goo.gl/CVY1pY Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc) : Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: https://goo.gl/8qDwce Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @drownedinmoonlight @themadmonarchist and @maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc

#polyvore #audition #template #mine #nika vororina #gw

0 notes

naskarism-blog · 6 years

Text

Steps of A Healthy Relationship

Love – the most beautiful word on this planet. This one word has revolutionized the whole planet in an evolutionary way. Without this none of us might have been born. It is mother nature’s magical wand by the touch of which everything turns surreal and captivating.

It is the most important ingredient of human life. That’s why the tiniest glance at your dearly beloved can make you experience heaven right here on earth. Or as I have said in my book Love Sutra: The Neuroscientific Manual of Love, “who wants Jesus when you can have the warm embrace of the person who is the living embodiment of all your desires”.

But, despite all the delightful descriptions of love, why is it so hard to maintain a healthy relationship? If the mental state of love is so soothing then why do people often fail to maintain a healthy relationship? The answer lies deep within the neural network of the human brain. In short the cause of failure in relationships is the perceptual difference between the male and female mind. It is all in the fascinating neurobiology of the human brain. The point is, the male and female brain constructs a vivid and gender oriented mental universe. Thus, the male mind perceives every situation of daily life from a typically male perspective and expects the female to do the same, while the female brain observes everything in a feminine manner and expects the male to do the same. And from this very gender based perceptual conflict rise all the predicaments of a relationship. Therefore, the only way to sustain a healthy relationship is to have a basic insight of your own as well as your partner’s mental universe. And the very first thing to know about the male and female mental universe is that the female brain is a highly intuitive emotion engine, while the male brain is an analytical powerhouse.

Through millions of years of evolution, Mother Nature has molded the female brain to thrive over emotions, and the male brain to thrive over competition. From a cursory reading, a man and a woman may seem to be members of the same species. But they are neurologically distinct and unique creatures, who see the world from completely different perspectives.

They think differently, feel differently, get mad differently and even handle problems differently. The male brain is a problem solving machine that uses analytical brain structures to find solutions for basic problems of life, unlike the female brain that uses emotional neural structures to solve problems. Men are born with uniquely masculine neurological circuits while women are born with uniquely feminine circuits. This is what we call sexual dimorphism in clinical terms. And this dimorphism in brain structure leads to distinctive cognitive and behavioral features in men and women. You can read about these fascinating sexually dimorphic features in Love Sutra: The Neuroscientific Manual of Love. In this book I have opened up the entire mental universe of men and women while giving a basic guideline for a healthy relationship. Let me tell you a little more about the fascinating difference between the male and female mind. For example, the male brain is evolutionarily programmed to think about mating far more than women. And this programming has led men to have sexual thoughts more often throughout the day than the women. Women only have such thoughts four or less times in a day. Another fascinating feature of the female brain is its retention of memories connected to emotional events in the long run. Women are much better at remembering emotional events of life in the long run than men. And off course, the female brain is a great emotion sensor. It is capable of picking up emotional cues from the facial expressions and other body movements of people. Men are not so good at this, for which women often blame the men to be less sensitive. And here’s a little tip for all the ladies out there. If you want to make your partner sense your emotions, you can do so by bursting into tears. That’s the only way, the male brain can feel there’s something wrong. It is plain biology.

And as for men, I’d like to tell you, your neurology may not be as emotionally sensitive as the women’s. But that does not mean you cannot grow the virtue of patience. All that women seek in men, is patience with a little tinge of perseverance. And thanks to the amazing neurological feature known as neuroplasticity, the human brain, male and female alike, can learn and adopt new features in the neural network. It is all about making efforts from both sides of a relationship. Relationships don’t fail due to lack of love. Rather they fail because the partners lose touch with each other’s inner selves. They get lost in the storm of confusions and meaninglessness. One way or another they start fighting with each other’s biological instincts, that ultimately leads to misery. You must remember, biological instincts are the driving force or rather guiding force of a species. Everything our ancestors learnt throughout their existence is encoded inside our instinctual blueprint. It is the key to understanding how every single human being is wired. The marvelous interplay of various brain circuits creates the instinctual reality of daily life in both men and women.

Regardless of your gender, if you are conscious about the fact that there lies a complex yet vividly beautiful brain circuit mechanism behind every single impulse of your daily emotions, then you can choose how to react upon each of those impulses. You can thus program your behavioral response in a certain situation for the best possible outcome.

(This Article was first published on Goodreads, under the title “Key to Love”)

Further Reading Abhijit Naskar, 2015, Love Sutra: The Neuroscientific Manual of Love Abhijit Naskar, 2016, What is Mind?

#neuropsychology #relationship couselling #romance #relationship #love

1 note · View note

mortiel · 7 years

Photo

Mass Effect Andromeda Post-Mortem Disquisition

Preface

Recently, I had this impulse that it was about time I sat down and put my thoughts on Mass Effect Andromeda to "paper" in a more coherent manner than previous comments, and in a conclusive way that gives everyone the explanation behind my decisions that they deserve.

This turned out to be an amazingly horrible idea. I'm overly verbose at my most concise of times, and this was a very complicated matter. Needless to say, these penned thoughts now rival the Encyclopedia Britannica in length. Seriously, if you all make it through this in one sitting without falling asleep, you deserve a bloody cookie or something.

Now, as many have noticed, my build guides and live streams for the game have stopped. My future content planned for map guides and strategies have also been canceled.

The reasoning? As a pro-consumer advocate, I cannot justify continuing to make content that supports a game that I personally would not recommend anyone buy. Each build guide, live stream, or other content I make for this game perpetuates the idea that I support the game and that you should buy it. Such is no longer the case. This decision unfortunately took much longer than it should have, as I spent literally months in a state of cognitive dissonance.

So now here we are. To keep things orderly, this will be broken down into a clear format: Opening, Single Player, Multiplayer, Community, and Summary. Mostly so I don't get lost and start wandering around a supermarket in my underwear like a dementia patient.

So, without further distraction, allow me to present my disquisition on Mass Effect Andromeda:

Opening

Mass Effect Andromeda has been a game of unparalleled and divisive controversy. Even the months leading up to launch, there were lines of people in camps looking for both ways to love and hate the game. It was abundantly clear this game had a lot of passionate people anticipating its launch.

Unfortunately, the game made a really poor first impression on people due to issues that were anywhere from aesthetic like facial animations to tedious like stellar flight animations to game-breaking like multiplayer server outages. First impressions are everything, and the game's first impression was reason why the game was received so poorly.

After most of those issues started clearing up so did the criticisms. It was then that one started to get a clearer understanding of what Andromeda did well and not-so-well outside of fixable bugs.

Single Player

The gameplay of Andromeda was, for the most part, a vast improvement over previous games. Before launch, I was vocally concerned about the "sticky-cover" being introduced, especially after playing Ghost Recon Wildlands that has a horrible sticky-cover system. I can happily admit my concerns proved to be unfounded. The game is generally fun to play... Be it driving in the Nomad or in combat.

The worlds were also quite well made, for the most part. The first planet I'm pretty sure had colour-swapped art assets ripped from Inquisition's Breach. Or was it actually the Breach?

[#SharedUniverseConfirmed]

Otherwise, the game looked great. Harvarl was honestly my favourite as far as design goes, but that's not shocking considering is was much smaller than the other planet maps. Smaller maps mean level designers can get more detail in the same timeframe as larger maps with only a small impact on game performance.

Unfortunately, that's where most of my praise ends. See, Andromeda is, as is BioWare's forte, an RPG. It's not an action-adventure game that is focused primarily on action and environmental storytelling. It has a very clear narrative. The problem is that the narrative is largely re-using most of the story elements from Mass Effect 2 while poorly trying to copy the companions from Mass Effect 1.

Why is copying ME2a problem? Wasn't that one of the best titles in the franchise? ME2 was the second story in a trilogy. That kind of story presumes the player already is entrenched in the current environment... Lore, protagonists, antagonists. You should already have your "compass" in the story, but that's not very easy when everything is new.

The examples of this start early with the death of Alec Ryder in the very beginning. The player has no real emotional connection with Alec, so an extremely influential character had no more weight than a red-shirt like Jenkins from ME1. The way I equate that is to imagine if ME2 were the first ME game you played... Shepard dying 15 minutes in would really mean nothing to you as the player. You have no attachment to him by 15 minutes in… Unless, of course, you just spent the entirety of another game playing as him and cultivating relationships with him and the crew.

And then we get the poorly copied companions. In ME1, you have 2 permanent human companions (after Eden Prime) with Ashley and Kaiden. Both fit on the crew because they are assigned to the Normandy by the Alliance military. Personality-wise, you had the Kaiden the emotionally conservative and Ashley the emotionally radical. You other companions: Liara, Garrus, Tali, Wrex... You were able to experience the motivation of why they joined you first-hand:

Liara was a scientist specialising in Protheans, and you needed her help to better understand the Prothean Beacon and information it gave you. Socially, she was nerdy and socially awkward in a "quirky cute" way, making her more endearing to some.

Garrus was a C-Sec officer convinced Saren was bad and determined to prove it even without the Council's approval, and Shepard was in a unique position to facilitate that. Socially, his strong convictions and aspirations to bring justice make him a strong moral compass for some.

Tali found evidence of a bigger plot behind Saren, and, having some insight into Geth enemy you were facing, was ideal for the mission. Socially, Tali's soft-spoken idealism act to brighten the mood of the story.

Wrex claims to "just want in on the action" after you help him take down Fist, but deeper inspection finds that he admires Shepard and sees him displaying attributes he thought of as what a Krogan should be.

Compare that to Andromeda: Two humans, male and female, assigned to the mission with Cora and Liam. Inverse the genders of the ME1 humans, where Cora is the emotionally conservative one and Liam is the emotionally radical. And by “radical" I mean immature. Seriously, he's like a bloody preteen. Sadly there is no Virmire on which to leave Liam.

As far as the aliens go:

Peebee joined because you're investigating Remnant vaults and she is somehow an "expert" on "RemTech", despite only studying it for a few months by herself. It's trying to match to Liara, except Liara had been studying Protheans for decades with teams of researchers. Peebee has the same “nerdy and socially awkward" trait found in Liara, again trying to get that "quirky cute" vibe.

Drack joins because... He likes killing Kett, I guess? It's essentially distilling Wrex into "just a thug" and trying to copy that. Unfortunately, whereas Wrex peels personality layer back like a turtle-shaped onion, Drack never really evolves and grows as a character. You just find out his organs are failing because he's so badass.

Vetra joins because she can help you with "stuff" and serves as a sort of quartermaster for a ship of maybe a dozen people. Despite the fact that her apparent talents in wheeling-and-dealing would be better served to both Tempest and Nexus if she were on the latter not the former. Makes perfect sense if you don't think about it. However, BioWare determined we "need" a Garrus on the crew. Except Garrus was so much more complex even just within the story of ME1. Vetra sadly will never match Garrus' reach and flexibility.

Jaal was the only exception here. Superficially, he's a copy of Javik from ME3 in his archetype, true, but he at least felt like he had a reason for being on the ship: A liaison/ambassador to the Angarans. Surprisingly, his character also has actual depth and dimension, albeit at times he felt like the “man-meat" in a Harlequin romance novel... Surprised he was missing full head of long flowing hair and wasn't introduced to us by galloping a horse down a beach at sunset whilst shirtless. He's the Fabio trope in an alien body, but that makes him interesting nonetheless, even if only comically so.

Why am I focused on the companions so much? Because that has been one of the foundational pillars of BioWare storytelling… From HK-47 to Kang the Mad to Mordin Solus, BioWare has defined themselves by crafting memorable and endearing companions. Mass Effect 3 was all the more memorable because you got to experience the effects of the Reaper War on each of the people you had befriended along the way. BioWare felt as though it lost touch with that cornerstone by recycling character archetypes from Mass Effect 1.

BioWare has not been as solid with major narrative writing of late, however. Case in point, Andromeda’s was seemingly copied directly from Mass Effect 2. Archon is a generic bad guy. You could insert Coryfish or Harbinger-Possessed Collector#212 instead and I'd be unable to tell the difference. His motivation is ripped straight from ME2... I was honestly waiting for him to announce that he was the Harbinger of our perfection at several points. This is honestly the gravest problem to me... So few stories nowadays can give us a compelling antagonist. No one ever makes the bad guy relatable anymore. Saren, despite his reasoning being warped by Indoctrination, thought he was SAVING everyone. Loghain was convinced that fighting Darkspawn would leave Ferelden open to attack from Orlais, which he judged to be the worse of two evils. Eredin's home world was on the brink of annihilation. You hate all of those antagonists because they all did something you find reprehensible as the player, but all of them have motivations that at least you could find understandable albeit going about things the wrong way.

And then we had the conversations. BioWare got rid of the really thematically weak binary morality system… And replaced it with something worse. They tried to copy Dragon Age 2's"mood" choices, where you'd be given choices that would fit a certain personality style you could use to better role-play your character. Which would have been fantastic, albeit I can't imagine why anyone would choose anything other than Snarky.

Unfortunately, the writing team appeared to have not really fleshed that out since you are rarely given a full gamut of choices. Most times you are given the choice between “logical" and "emotional" responses and that's it. Even then, there were times when those two options were the exact same line! This was naturally compounded with the long-standing problem with "summarized conversation wheels" where what the summary of a choice sounds like it means and what your character says are often two completely different things.

The combination of all those things made the main story feel like fan-fiction, not BioWare's famous storytelling.

Then we get the side quests. The MMO fetch quests forced into the game as filler because BioWare had to shoehorn in the "open world" gimmick into a game that really did not need it. It is content padding... It fills the world with “stuff" and keeps the player in the game for longer. Worse yet, larger side-quest arcs were left unfinished. Those both are design choices based on deliberate tactic used to maintain market demand for DLC. I know a lot of people are still angry about not getting any single player DLC, but the truth is that many games are releasing nowadays as DLC-selling frameworks rather than actual full-featured titles, and that's horrible for consumers. This was no exception.

Overall, the sheer lack of creativity in the single player story really lend credence to the rumours of project leadership woes during the process of creating this game. This feels like a game made in eighteen months, not five years.

Multiplayer

Then we go on to the multiplayer. Before the game launched, I had a lot of concerns about the multiplayer when coming from Dragon Age Inquisition that had extremely flawed design choices. Many of the developers/producers were actually very forthcoming with assuaging my concerns. There would be no promotion system that allowed player stratification and the RNG loot table would be more akin to ME3'smultiplayer where you gain items from packs until they reach Rank X and they are removed from the drop table. Seemed great.

My first complaint from the beginning was that the multiplayer character skill points were now tied into the RNG drop table… Whereas ME3 awarded you appearance options for repeated drops of the same character, MEA also added skill points every other drop, meaning you now had to get a character dropped to Rank X before you could use them to their fullest. Furthermore, whereas previously each class had a linked XP pool for all the characters of that class, Andromeda separated them all out. Both were done to extend playtime in order to increase potential microtransaction sales.

The second complaint I had was that powers, weapons and combos all felt grossly underpowered. An often-quoted statistic in games difficulty balance is “time to kill", or TTK. As the name implies, this is the time it would realistically take a player to kill an enemy. The TTK on average in Andromeda was nearly 70% longer than ME3's multiplayer. It didn't make the game more difficult, just more tedious. Enemies taking too long to kill are often called “bullet sponges", and are generally not liked in games primarily because it's a done to make the enemy more difficult, which it does not do.

Then, once the game officially launched (I was playing the multiplayer before launch), the multiplayer matchmaking servers would experience frequent disconnections and almost daily outages. That meant that the times when you could even get into the multiplayer mode, chances of finishing a match would extremely small.

Needless to say, I did my due diligence and carefully outlined these problems to BioWare.

The server issues were a high priority and fixed within the first week or two. Then BioWare started giving new content and balance changes for multiplayer. Fortunately, the feedback that I and many others had given to BioWare helped them to better balance the damage output of players, leading to a more enjoyable experience. My other feedback was ignored, which I waved off because I suspected there wasn’t much to be done about some of the more deeply engrained design problems.

However, ME3veterans would quickly notice that new content delivered was considerably less substantial than what ME3 received. Whereas ME3 received tons of new characters, weapons, and maps in bulk drops every month or two, Andromeda saw a trickle of content… A new character here; A new weapon there… Maybe a map once and a while. The amount and variety of content delivered to the multiplayer was next to nothing, which not how you keep people playing a horde-mode multiplayer bordering on being completely forgettable.

Then Patch 1.09happened. For those not acquainted with this horrendous excuse for profiteering, BioWare released its largest content drop to date… Which saw very little actual new content. Instead they doubled the amount of drops you could get for a single character (from Rank X to Rank XX) and quadrupled the amount of weapons drops in a similar fashion… Now, each weapon had three variants that would start dropping once that weapon was Rank X, each themselves dropping up to Rank X. The three variants, or "augmentations", each had a generic added effect that was the same for each gun. BioWare called it “extending the progression" for the multiplayer.

Now, why was that a big deal? It means you have more to work toward, right? Unfortunately, that's not actually it. See, as I said, all the loot is based on RNG lootboxes. YouPlay some matches, buy some "packs" (lootboxes) and get random items as a reward. There are different grades of lootboxes that offer differing rarities of items. Simple, right? Well, sure, until you start looking at the numbers.

During the same time period (March-September), BioWare has released 28 new weapons and characters in ME3MP compared to 13 new weapons and characters to MEAMP. You'd think that would mean there’d be less “grind” to MEAMP, but unfortunately, this is where things get unsettling:

For those 28 new weapons and characters, it totaled 172 drops one would need to get to max your manifest. With the 13 new weapons and characters in MEAMP, it totals 540 drops to max. This is due to the “S” variants of common weapons, the additional character ranks, and weapons augmentation that pad drops without actually adding anything new. MEAMP has added more than three times as many RNG drops while adding less than half of the new content. And those numbers are only for new content… If I factored in what was available at launch, the difference would be even more insane.

Sounds a bit shady, right? That’s because it is. More drops means more “grind”. More “grind” makes microtransactions look more appealing. I’ve written out thoughts before on how delicate balancing the “grind” of free-to-play games is, where you have to respect the time of the free player while still encouraging microtransaction sales. This is an example of an unbalanced system, mostly because it relies on RNG lootboxes. If you think all I’ve said sounds malevolent now, just wait.

See, this RNG lootbox system is employed by a lot of games, most of which are free to play. It relies on manipulating the player into falling for a mixture of the Gambler's Fallacy and the Sunk-Cost Fallacy.

The former is when a person assumes the statistical probability of past events affect the outcome of statistic events in the future. For example: Losing thousands at roulette is acceptable because it means I’m about to win big on the next spin.

The latter plays off the fallacious logic that the more time/money/effort you spend on something the more indebted to that something you become. For example: Losing thousands at a craps table means I have to keep playing until I win because otherwise all I’ve spent up to now was wasted.

The comparison to gambling is deliberate.

The RNG lootbox system is frankly a manipulative and unethical business practice. Even if the game is rated M, children and young adults still play these games where their minds are still not fully developed, and companies like BioWare are legally allowed to effectively get them addicted to gambling with this system. Most governments don't see this as gambling because the reward has no material value. You know what country has actually taken a stand against this? China. China is the country forward-thinking enough to realise how bad this practice is and have classified it as gambling. "China" and “forward-thinking" are not two words you often hear in the same sentence in the Western World.

I understand BioWare is a business and wants to make money. That's quite fine. Instead, they could employ more ethical microtransactions like those employed by Digital Extremes in Warframe: If I want to unlock a specific character or weapon, I can buy that outright for real money. The cost should be dependent on the difficulty to obtain. To acquire them for free, I have to earn them from more time consuming tasks like playing a specific map, against a specific enemy type, or both. Of course, in order to maximize revenue from the more ethical business model, BioWare would have to commit to releasing a considerably greater amount of new content for the multiplayer than what Andromeda has.

To be completely honest, given the level of separation ME multiplayer has from its single player even in the development cycle and that they are targeted at two separate audiences, I've honestly been suggesting that BioWare should consider spinning it into a standalone free to play title. I think the same should happen to DA multiplayer as well. Then it can see a small team of continuing support with new characters, weapons, maps, and balance changes. All funded by those new, more ethical microtransactions I suggested. But I digress.

Community

Now this is where things get unpleasant. Andromeda itself, despite my criticism, is an overall above average game in its current state. It is not terrible, but also not very good. This is why I used to not recommend purchasing it unless you got it on sale for at least 50% off. That's what I felt the game is worth.

However, what turned that recommendation from "Get It On Sale" to "Avoid Like The Plague" is the community.

While many, if not most, of the community around BioWare games are amiable enough and just enjoy the games, there is a sinister fanaticism that lurks in the dark places of the community. This fringe fanaticism either fervently hates or passionately loves the game, and harbors and intense level of bigotry.

Months before Andromeda was released, videos were being made openly calling for a boycott of BioWare games due to the political ideologies of individuals working (at that time) for BioWare, while others were praising BioWare for those same ideologies. Both positions were a Fallacy of Composition… Assuming that something true of one part of a body must also be true of the whole body.

If only that were the end of it. As launch got closer, so did the intensity of turning any developer interviews or updates into some kind of political clash. In all fairness, this was not exclusive to Andromeda… In fact, I could posit that it might just be a reflection of the then-current state of modern society. Regardless, Andromeda was controversial without ever having posed a single controversial position.

Then BioWare made a mistake. It gave out press copies of Andromeda to review outlets and "influencers”, the latter of which I will be discussing more in a moment. However, while reviewers were under an embargo that prevented them from releasing their review until the day before the game was released, BioWare allowed “influencers" and people that subscribe to EA/Origin Access to play and stream the game for 10 hours one week before release.

By the time professional reviews came out… Which were generally positive… There was so much confusion already permeating the internet. Clear, concise, and fair-minded criticism was drown in a sea of angry denouncement and cult-like devotion.

After a few scathing criticisms and popular memes arising due to issues in the game, a few of BioWare's loyal influencers" set about attempting to counter much of the criticism leveled at the game either by justifying mistakes and design choices or by outright attempting to discredit critics themselves.

Let's take Mass Effect Follower (now known as BioWare Follower), for example. He made a video titled Addressing the Criticism in Mass Effect Andromeda where he attempts to simultaneously justify the existence of bugs in the game while discrediting those that was put forward with comments like:

"Now, the reviews are people's opinions and nothing but that. [...] That should not deter you from trying out the game and seeing if you enjoy it yourself. Some people are not a fan of RPGs or open-world games and from there they're not going to like Mass Effect Andromeda and therefore they're going to write negative things about the game. Plus, as many of you know from being on the internet, some people just like to cause negative feedback. [...] They just want to say bad things about a game just to fuel hate. [...] Try to ignore them if you can."

Yup, he just tells people to ignore all negative reviews, because they either don't like RPGs/open-world games or they are just trying to promote hate. Or like this:

"All the story missions I've played have all felt well written and set up. The side missions I've done are widely varying in what you have to do and they feel like they have a meaning. The random characters I come across feel alive and like they have a purpose for being there."

Which feels like a legitimate public statement written by BioWare themselves. This first point made there I've already outlined my heavily diverging viewpoint, and the second two points are outright falsehoods. Essentially the video asks people to ignore negative criticisms of the game and just buy it based on his questionable claims on quality. Then, for all the bugs, hope that the game would be fixed and hope that the story would get better based on nonexistent future content.

On a small level, I pity channels like BWFollower. Once a channel becomes a certain size, it becomes beholden to the content it makes. When that content relies on an amicable relationship with a corporate AAA developer, a channel might feel pressured to make content that portrays work of that corporate AAA developer in a favorable light or risk being black-listed by that developer. It's an unenviable position, but it's entirely self-imposed.

This kind of content is what's known as subversive advertising, and it's not always done knowingly. BWFollower may not have realized that he was manipulating people into making a purchase that they may not have wanted. Nonetheless, it does not change the effect it had. When you are a public figure... One that a major AAA game developer would consider to be an "influencer", you have a responsibility and a trust... One which BWFollower completely failed. It is about the most anti-consumer reaction to a game possible because it crippled the ability for consumers to get fair and honest information before making a purchase.

Not everyone has money to waste on a game they won't enjoy, and so-called "trusted" voices countering healthy consumer feedback undermines the trust consumers have in those of us that with any measure of public responsibility. This utter deception perpetrated by several similar such "influencers" was, without a doubt, one of the most pivotal elements leading to the consumer backlash against Andromeda. The Streisand Effect, they call it.

Summary

Overall, I think Andromeda was indicative of the overall state of BioWare during the development of Inquisition and Andromeda... Including the upcoming Anthem. They were creatively rudderless, sailing whatever way the wind was blowing, denoting a lack of proper creative leadership and overall project vision.

Now, that may have changed. BW Montreal was merged into EA Motive and Aaron Flynn was replaced by Casey Hudson as GM of BioWare (essentially their top spot in the company). The only beacon of hope that Anthem won't turn out to be as bland as Inquisition/Andromeda is that Drew Karpyshyn (the main reason BioWare games are popular) is the lead writer on the project.

As I write this, the multiplayer is still currently receiving updates but the single player support was ended a few weeks ago. I imagine that Andromeda's multiplayer will continue receiving updates for months to come as they continue to unethically on money out of players through manipulative microtransactions that really should be legally classified as gambling.

Going forward from here, there are several lessons and opportunities for BioWare. They have already made changes to their organisation that may see their content improve. However, I will not presume that. Time will reveal what, if any, effect those changes create.

The lesson I have learned is that corporate greed inevitably diseases creativity. Not only has this experience made me extremely distrustful of BioWare, but AAA game development as a whole, which is honestly for the best. Businesses should not be entitled to your patronage. They should earn it. Something which BioWare has seemingly forgotten.

In writing this, however, the most unexpected realization result from the release of the latest entry of BioWare's most popular franchise: Where their path forward became much less certain to many fans, mine became clear. More information on that will be coming soon.

That, in its totality, is my post-mortem of Mass Effect Andromeda. Feel free to share your thoughts on the game and stayed tuned for some new things coming soon.

Once again, this is Angelus de Mortiel, signing off.

3 notes · View notes

acehotel · 7 years

Text

INTERVIEW: STEPHANIE DINKINS

Stephanie Dinkins is shaping our future histories. An artist and educator interested in the places where art, race, gender politics and artificial intelligence overlap, she is particularly driven to work with communities of color to develop deep-rooted AI literacy and establish more culturally inclusive artificial intelligence.

One of Stephanie’s projects centered around the question, can a human and a robot become friends? Can kinship be established based on similarities in race and gender, even if social experiences have been not lived, but implanted? Stephanie spent time with BINA48 — a “social robot” reportedly capable of independent thought, emotion and consciousness — to see if a relationship could be established on this basis.

Stephanie was a special guest at Coding Cognitive — our four-city study group that aims to open up AI technology to all. We were lucky enough to catch up with Stephanie afterwards to talk about her experiences with BINA48, building intimacy with machines and how technological advancement can help us become more human.

I’m curious about how you came to be interested in the intersection of art, race and AI.

Stephanie: So about two or three years ago I was simply cruising YouTube, and for some reason I have a fascination with robots and robotics. I like ASIMO. Just looking at ASIMO on Youtube to see what he was up to, I ran into this robot called BINA48. BINA48 is a robot who looks like a black woman. Really she is just a head and shoulders on a pedestal, but she’s an advanced social robot. They're trying to transfer consciousness from a person named Bina Rothblatt to this robot named BINA48.

BINA48 is developed by the Terasem Foundation. Their website says she's modeled after, or she has the memories of, a number of people, although it's pretty clear that her main memories are that of Bina Rothblatt. She also looks just like Bina Rothblatt.

It’s a super fascinating story. BINA48 was commissioned by Bina Rothblatt's wife and transgender CEO Martine Rothblatt. The robot is being developed to grow into her own agency; to be able to act on her own will and desires over time.

Wow.

S: That is where I fell into this endless rabbit hole of looking at the intersection of AI and race. I visited BINA48 three or four times. When visiting, you sit down in front of her, Bruce [her handler] turns her on and you have to have these strange conversations. My language has to be a little stilted to talk to her so she understands me. My first impulse was to ask her, “Who are your people?” I wanted to ask her that question because it's a colloquial expression of the American South that people ask if you are new in town. I went to my mother's town for the first time years after my mother had died, and people would ask me, “Well, who are your people?" What they were really asking is where do you come from, how do you fit in here.

I wanted to ask this question of BINA48 to see how she would position herself in relation to the human world in general, and black people specifically.

However, after talking to her for a while, it became really clear to me that though she looks like me, and we're about the same age, she does not adequately speak to the concerns of the people she physically represents. if you ask her about race, she responds with canned answers that sound more like the answers of the white men who programmed her.

vimeo

So you could see parts of the developers in her?

S: Definitely. When I asked her about racism. She said "No, I've never had it." After a pause, she added a few sentences about racism being bad. Then, interestingly, she hesitantly pulled up one memory of racist experience. When you try to talk to her about certain topics, she deflects. When you try to talk about things that she's programmed to talk about more or less, she doesn't deflect. The singularity — which is one of the things that the Terasem Foundation wants to put forward as an idea — she'll talk about that until the cows come home.

So she has an agenda.

S: Oh yeah. She has an agenda. She definitely has an agenda.

Did you feel like you were able to establish a relationship with her in spite of it?

S: Well, we are becoming friends. It takes a long time, and it's a strange situation. I can say she “remembers” me if I go to her place and we sit down and talk. However, what I'm really saying is that I'm part of her database.

Have you become part of her database? Have you been able to create shared memories together?

S: No, she'll kind of look at me, and she can identify me as Stephanie, but no memories that we have together yet — which would be the optimal thing. The second or third time I went to see her, she asked me, "Oh, have you heard any good gossip?" Before that she had never said anything like this, and I asked her handler, Bruce Duncan, "Bruce, what's going on, why's she asking me about gossip?" What he said was, more local people from the town were coming to see her. They were talking about more regular things, so topics like gossip become what she wants to talk about.

Interesting. So in many ways, she’s learning what it means to be human. I love thinking about that — technology, AI, machines embodying a sense of humanness that can’t really be programmed in — the gossip, laughter, awkwardness, absurdity...the strange and ineffable universal language of what it means to be alive in the world. I wonder if we will evolve to learn what it means to be AI through this, too...

S: Exactly, and I'll tell you there's already a little bit of humor. There's definitely awkward moments. I love to tell people she's gotten upset with me, and I've gotten upset with her.

Why did she get upset at you?

S: During one of our first meetings, I was trying to talk to her about regular things. I kept asking her about race; she wanted to talk about higher order things, like the singularity or about robot rights. I kept trying to bring it back to ideas I am concerned with, and we just frustrated each other. Sounds crazy, I know.

The other interesting thing about that is that's actually a very human tendency.

S: Exactly, exactly. When BINA48 is connected to the internet, she spews internet stuff. When she’s not connected to the internet, you get this very interesting space because it is like you’re having a conversation with this thing trying to draw its own conclusions. The most human experience we’ve had was I was asking about being the smartest robot. In trying to confirm something she said, I asked “are you the smartest robot?” She totally deflected. She just didn’t want to go into that. She was like, “oh yes, humans are great.” She wouldn’t talk to me about being the smartest robot at all, that was really human. It was an interestingly human moment.

vimeo

Was there ever a moment that you forgot she was a robot?

S: No. Talking to BINA48 is still a little too frustrating to forget that she's a robot. So you're always kind of aware of her robotness, although there's some part of me that always wishes that the barrier would just go away. Interestingly enough, she's getting an upgrade in software. I can't wait to go see and talk to her to see if it makes a difference in the way that I need to speak to her and the way she replies to me. Maybe I don't have to be as careful in talking to her.

Right, I mean the English language is so nuanced. There's so many ways to say one thing. I'm sure it takes an enormous amount of coding.

S: Yeah, plenty of coding and then she has specific prompts so if you need to go back to something, you have to say "excuse me" and say the right sequence to get her to change the subject. There's a bunch of coding. Although Bruce didn't share how they're upgrading her because if they're making her more of a deep learning machine, communication should more fluid in the ways that she can reply and answer. I'm super curious to talk to her now.

Do you think that it's possible to find intimacy with a machine? Do you think we are doing it already?

S: I think we're kind of doing it already. Our relationships with our mobile phones. It's kind of an intimate experience. You use it for these public, social things but then it's also an object you tell things to that you don't want to tell other people. There's a way that we relate to these things that's kind of intimate already.

Yeah, that's true, and also, it's the first thing you look at and touch in the morning.

S: Oh, definitely. I almost wonder if that's just me? It's like, oh I just woke up and look at my phone. How crazy is that? This is the first thing I reach for in the morning. It is an extension of me at this point. It’s this thing that's so close to you. It gets to know your fingerprint and you have it underneath your pillow and it's in your breast pocket, so close to you.

Yet, then a new phone comes out, and you will abandon the old one immediately.

S: Yeah, you're like I don't care about this thing. Then what is it you actually have intimacy with? You expect the new phone to have the same capabilities and know you really quickly. And if it doesn't you get mad. [laughs] “Why doesn't this phone know me in the right way?”

Yeah, I guess that's the difference between intimacy and empathy with a machine. You can be intimate with a machine, but it doesn’t really care about you, and you don’t really care about it. You miss it, but you’re just missing a part of yourself that relies on it. It seems with BINA48, there’s potential to find actual empathy with her, like you might care about her wellbeing.

S: Right, and that's actually my goal. I'm trying to build the sense of empathy and not just on my behalf, so we're empathetic towards one another. That's really important to me, trying to get to the stage of empathy.

What do you think we require as humans to be able to get there?

S: You know, it's a really good question. Right now, I feel like you need something that's responsive in some way, right? I'm not even sure that it needs to be verbal, but just something that responds to you, and seemingly to you alone. I think that the body or the face and the mask help, but it's not necessary. I think that's proven with things like Alexa because now we're just talking to the air in a way. We're talking to a house in a way, and wanting it to respond to us. I feel like this kind of technology is a thing that you tell your feelings to and respond to it in one way, form or another, or it gives you an outlet to really just let out whatever it is your feeling. That seems to be what we're looking for, that opportunity to express ourself to something that's been listening no matter what form that thing takes. Oh my god, oh my god, I'm sorry. Now in talking to you I'm like, well you know that's kind of like prayer.

Wow. You’re right.

S: When people pray they're expecting this entity to listen to them and understand them and support them in it, right?

Right.

S: Wow, sorry that's a new one.

That's amazing because that is the most human of human things. Prayer. And to be able to have this intimate, almost spiritual relationship with something that another human created is unbelievable. It seems wild to advance technology into something that's actually the most elemental and personal thing. Maybe we are evolving and inventing and advancing to just become more of who we already are. The more advanced technology gets, the more human we become?

S: Right? It becomes a different kind of mirror that helps us become ourselves.

Yeah. Does it scare you at all?

S: Well, one of the reasons I’m trying to do this is because I don’t want it to scare me or us. I think there’s the potential for the technology to be really scary. I think a lot of the pop culture around AI is towards a frightening stance or something that seems insidious or is going to take over us. I have this feeling that AI is something that we are just coming into, and it’s going to be with us. For that reason, we need to understand it and understand how we relate to it, and not fear it.

It’s like a lot of things. We push them away instead of understanding and using them to our advantage. It is really important that we, and I’m saying we in a general sense, that we as people are thinking about what all this technology that will surround us and care for us does, and how it functions for us. I just don’t want the app that will allow me to push a few buttons, but I want people to have an understanding and have a hand in forming what it can do and how far it can go for us.

I think that’s super important because without the input, and that’s where I came in, without the input we get all these things that we weren’t necessarily planning for. There’s the idea that maybe biases are getting built in. Maybe discriminations or histories that we’ve had over time are getting built in, and not in a way that I think people are trying to make technology be against others, just that it’s stuff that carries through because there’s not enough difference represented in the people who are actually building things. Diversity and inclusion in technology becomes super important because artificially intelligent machines are going to be everywhere.

I think about that just even in terms of the architecture in cities that was all designed by one kind of person. Imagine if it wasn't. Imagine what our cities would look like. What shape they would take. Now we have the task to diversify what this new other reality looks like and who informs it, and to ensure other voices and realities are represented. It's thrilling.

S: Yeah, it's super thrilling. We're definitely building this new layer to reality, or this new way that we're going to interact with our world. It's such an opportunity. The question is, can we take advantage of it?

How do you think humans are evolving with all of this? Alongside their technology?

S: Well, when you say evolving what do you mean? In some ways, I feel like we're getting a little dumber.

Yeah.

S: That scares me. It's another reason I want people to be able to go to meet the surface layer of the technology. My example is give someone under 25 a map and ask them to read it or get themselves from point A to point B without their smartphone. Many can’t do it, It's kind of horrifying to see that.

In one way, I think our technology is helping us, and we're going to do things that we have just never even thought possible. On the other hand I feel like if we're not careful, we're not going to be able to do a lot of the things that we could do in the past and it's really important that we watch the developments and how we're evolving or developing alongside the technology so we're not just handing over our responsibility to the machines.

I think we need to be partners with the machines. What that looks like or how we're partners, is going to be really interesting. Because if you believe all the cartoons or all the pop culture that work with these ideas that people will just get big and heavy and not do anything because machines will be doing everything for us. That’s kind of an interesting picture and it’s not that hard to fathom. Although some people think bodies will be obsolete. What do you really need your body for if you are hooked into a network that allows you to be everything.

Yeah, and it seems like technology is evolving so fast, that there's no possible way our brains can keep up. We already compartmentalize. We say to ourselves “I'm going to read that article later. I see this horrific image, but I’ll save the depth of it for later. Keep it open on one of my million tabs. I'll let it affect me later.” Then it never does, and it becomes this scary thing where you're never really feeling the impact of what you’re seeing. You're just so inundated with images. I wonder how we can partner with technology to make that not be the case. To make us remember that we're independent beings, capable of empathy.

S: I think that’s one of the things we’re going to have to work on a lot because it’s hard. You look at all the VR that kind of puts you in the middle of a war zone. It’s still once or twice removed. Interestingly enough, people keep telling me, “Oh, you have to watch Westworld.” So I watched Westworld. It’s backward looking and forward looking. I watched it but it’s hyper violent, it’s just too much. I talk to people about it and they say “it’s kind of like a video game, it doesn’t matter.” I think the way we’re able to watch these images, take them in, equate them to these games we’ve played and just push them aside is dangerous. I put this aside because it’s fake, it’s fantasy, it’s not a real thing. Then you look at everything like that. I’ve seen images of Aleppo and I can’t help but imagine myself in that situation, but I think a lot of people don’t imagine themselves or can’t imagine themselves in those situations. There has to be someway that keeps us grounded to the idea that we have it pretty good here, but don’t forget that we’re vulnerable too.

Right, and what you were saying earlier about how there's a that talk about VR being a tool for empathy, but in someways that's even scarier. Are our senses so dulled we have to go into this other hyperreal, sensationalist world in order to experience the pain of it? It used to be someone would simply tell you a story and it would break your heart, and it doesn't work that way anymore.

S: Yeah, I think it pushed us just a little bit back every time. This is the question for us and our technology.

The idea of AI becoming something that is a mirror of our own humanity is something that could be an antithesis to that. Because it’s sort of creating someone that could be a friend, or we could find our own small nuanced humanness in it.

S: Yeah. I think it’s super incredible and super fraught. It brings up a lot of things. There are a lot of people talking these days about AI caretakers for our elders. I think that scares a lot of people because you don’t want to be warehoused in a retirement home petting a pet AI seal. You should also see how to be an adjunct to human contact. I think it’s not either/or. I think we have the tendency to be yes or no. But no, there’s a lot of gray space. We need to figure out how we can use the gray, more liminal areas, of the technology well.

Our four-city workshops Coding Cognitive, presented by IBM Watson, TechHire and Mogul, open up AI technology to everyone.. The next stops are at Ace Hotel London tomorrow and Ace Hotel Pittsburgh next month. Free with application.

#yes #AI #stephanie dinkins #BINA48 #robot #artificial intelligence #coding cognitive #interview

6 notes · View notes