Leshy; quite the whimsical creature

apocalypse: tom holland imagine

a/n | this is my second submission for @hollandsrecs​ 1k bingo event! truth be told i hardcore fell in love with this as i wrote it and lowkey want to dedicate more parts/lil featurettes to it... 👀

summary: a toxic storm that has wiped out most of the world’s population has you taking shelter and fighting for survival with an unexpected ally.

tom x fem reader | contains alluded family/pet death, mentions of depression, angst, language, and generally morbid themes, but also fluff, love and hope so there’s that | word count: 2.7k | enjoy!

Ever since the rain, you’d lost everything.

That dammed day the skies turned black, your family had been one of the Burned. But you’d been stuck inside with a cold instead of going out with them that morning, and you didn’t know then that you’d never see them again. You’d woken up to earth-shaking thunders and faint shrieks, opening the windows to find torrential rain that resembled pure tar pouring from the sky. The power had gone out, and without any streetlights, you couldn’t see anything in front of you past your windowpanes, even though it was only noon. Without a clock, anyone would’ve looked outside and thought it was midnight. The only thing you had was a crank-powered radio your family kept for hurricanes, and you listened and learned through static and horror that the rain falling wasn’t rain at all — it was acid. And nobody caught in the first storm had survived.  

It rained black for a week straight, and you had to ration what food and water you had as you glued yourself to the radio, hoping to hear that maybe, just maybe, somebody had turned up saying they’d survived the rain, and that there were other survivors taking shelter elsewhere until they could safely come home. But the whole of England had been swallowed by the storm, and there was no hope for clear skies ahead. Yes, you were safe, but you couldn’t go outside. You couldn’t see outside. And you were completely, entirely, and wholly alone.

With each passing day you spiraled down further, darkness of the earth encroaching deeper within you, realizing that your family wasn’t coming back. Nobody was. You fell asleep in the dark listening to the thrashing of the rain that you had gotten used to, tears streaming down your face, and cursed your unsteady heartbeat for mimicking the rhythm of the weighted raindrops hitting your roof.

On what would’ve been day eight of the rain, you awoke to a dull orange light bathing your bedroom walls. You shivered under the pile of quilts you’d amassed as it was autumn in London and electricity was a luxury of the past. Confused at the image of your own hands in light, you bolted upright at the complete silence and stillness in the air. You moved your curtains aside to see the world painted in a bleak tangerine mist—and there was no black rain falling from the sky.

Your breath hitched in your throat and you clambered over your bed to reach your radio, tuning station to station, disbelief ringing in your ears.

“...it appears that the rain has ceased...”

“...the storm has lifted over London-”

“Officials have yet to deem it safe to go outside as we continue to track where the rain could have possibly gone, and if it is coming back...”

You felt unable to take your stare off the outside as your mind raced. Could you finally open your door, try to find other survivors? Was it safe? Did you even care? The stiff air in your house had you going stir crazy, depressed, out of your mind with delirium. Your heart was racing with no hope of slowing down; you had to try to go outside.

Without thinking you opened the front door, holding your breath. Your eyes still hadn’t adjusted to the light and you felt blinded, falling against the doorframe. Taking uneasy, slow steps onto the street, you shivered into your sweatshirt and peered through blinds of unmarked houses to see if anyone else had made it through, knocking on doors and waiting on silence. Cars were left with doors open, remnants of daily activities frozen in time in front of you, and just the sight sent another wave of chills through you. Was there anyone left?

Only a few houses away did you hear faint footsteps, getting louder and louder, were they...running? You whipped around in all directions but couldn’t see past a few feet in front of you due to the lingering mist in the air. The footsteps became increasingly menacing, and within half a minute you heard a voice.

“Hey, are you fucking crazy?”

Who was that?

You felt a strong pair of hands take hold of your shoulders and pull you into an empty garage, closing it behind them, shining a single beam of light in your eyes so you so all you could see of them was their orange-inspired silhouette.

“Gotta take cover...” he muttered in the chaos.

“Hey, you can’t just grab-”

“What do you think you’re doing wandering around outside?”

“You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“...I’m sorry.” his voice became a thousand times softer. “I...I haven’t seen anybody else in a week.”

Your own heart sank further in your chest than it already was.

“Neither have I.”

“You don’t have any family?”

“They were burned.”

“...right.”

“Sorry, who even are you?” you asked, shaking, the reality of the situation hitting you with a bolt of fear.

“Right, I’m Tom, Tom Holland. Sorry. I live a few streets down.” Strangely, you didn’t feel at all threatened by him.

“Why are you outside?”

“I’ve...I’ve been by myself, my dog was in the yard when the storm came. When it was quiet this morning, I thought I heard him bark...I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t go looking. It’s stupid, I know. He’s gone.”

“Where’s your family?” you mirrored his weary interrogation.

Tom looked down, stifling back a soft whimper. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and quickly changed the subject, trying to regain his composure. 

“Look, I don’t know who else has made it through the week, but from what I’ve gathered, there aren’t many survivors, at least not around here. And since we’re both alone and the rain is coming again, I think we should stick together-”

A pang of fear. “Wait, how do you know it’s coming again?” A pulse of trepidation. “I don’t know you and I don’t trust you.” Tom grimaced at the inevitable struggle this was going to be—he didn’t care about who you were, he just wanted to survive—and flashed the light up onto the ceiling so you could see each other better. 

Synchronously you both let out a breath of relief that you were likely the same age, neither of you looking too much like a serial killer, both of you...well, beautiful, actually. But he’d never tell you that. 

“Does it matter? Half the world is dead. And you found someone else who survived, accidentally, and you’re about to turn around and flee back to face whatever comes next alone?”

You pondered what he said and reluctantly realized he was right. You would be absolutely crazy to willingly go back to where you were before and keep on going alone. How long could you survive like that?

“Okay, fine. But there will need to be boundaries.” You felt a sense of relief thinking about having another body nearby if another wave of darkness ever came, but you tried to push that thought out of your head before it could manifest.

“Whatever. Can you grab some of those batteries over there? The roof of my house is starting to give, so we’ll have to go to yours after I pick up some things.”

You nodded and found a box to fill up with anything you could find that looked useful. Tom opened the garage door again, eyebrows scrunched together in worry, and looked back at you. 

“Stay on my left so I know where you are if the mist gets in the way. Try not to get any water droplets on your skin. If you hear or see anything, tell me.” And with that, he was off. He seemed much more suited to the survivor lifestyle than you did.

You started walking with a huff. “And my name is y/n. Thanks for asking.”

~

You made it back to your house a long time later, and you were exhausted, feeling as though your lungs had been filled with toxic fumes from being in the mist.

Tom set his things down and walked around your house, weaving in and out of rooms like he was on a mission.

“What are you doing?” You stared at him puzzled as he stood on the couch and moved his hands in weird patterns along the ceiling.

“Trying to see if there are any cracks that water could get through,” he said, deep in concentration.

“Can you get off the couch?”

“Sorry.” he coughed.

You spent the next two days mending any loose boards or fixtures in your house, running into a lot of awkward conversation and sleeping at opposite ends of the house at night. The headspace you were both in was a hard one to shake, but you couldn’t deny that having someone else to navigate this new meager existence with helped tremendously. And you could tell Tom had a soft side that would show itself the more that you both sat on the couch together, wrapped in your own blankets, listening to the radio static for the hourly news updates on the storm tracking. In those moments, you would look at each other when you heard the voices come on, a glint of hope passing between your eyes, growing closer in the cold, pale air of your living room.

One night, the broadcaster put on a song in between updates, letting Nocturne No. 2 by Chopin flow through the speakers, and you and Tom danced to the simple melody together, just content to feel that warm feeling of a smile again. The change of pace was more than welcome, and you held each other close and spun around the living room as if it were a regular evening in a regular life; as if you hadn’t collided running from the apocalypse.

“You never told me you could dance,” you smiled at Tom.

“You never asked.”

On the fifth morning that Tom woke up in the guest room across your house, you were the first thing he thought of as his eyes fluttered open. Being in your presence had been his only refuge since the rain had come, and he had been on the brink of mental collapse before he ran into you wandering the streets that day. In a way, you had saved him from himself, and he still barely knew you outside of a few soft moments you’d shared. 

He noticed you were still in your room with the door shut instead of out on the couch, listening for news and reading like you usually were, and went to knock on your door when he heard muffled cries from behind it.

“y/n, are you okay?”

You sniffled and hurriedly wiped away the streamlines of tears that had streaked down your cheeks.

“Yeah, fine. Sorry.”

“Can I come in?” He opened the door without waiting for a reply. You were sitting against your bed on the floor, with a photo album spread open on your lap, looking at pictures of your family. You looked up at Tom through blurry eyes. “I miss them.”

His whole expression softened and he came to sit on the floor next to you, moving closer than he’d ever been to you. You took a leap and leaned into his chest, and he put an arm around you, pulling you in closer. You let out another silent cry, and he lightly rubbed your arm up and down with his hand.

“I know.” 

You reveled in his embrace and warmth, and tried to close the album, but he held it open.

“Tell me about them.”

“You don’t want to hear about that,” you sniffled.

“Yes, I do.”

He took a blanket off of your bed and wrapped you both up in it, sheltering you from the cold in the air, and you pointed at each picture and gave him an anecdote about every one that was taken, already feeling like they were stories of a past life. You smiled and laughed and even cried together, sitting for hours exchanging stories about your childhoods that weren’t really all that different. Before you knew it, it grew dark.

The house felt more sultry then, with the lantern you used at night burning its oil and the connection between you growing more palpable with every passing second. But you were both shortly jolted out of your trance by a loud alarm screeching out from the radio. It was choppy and hard to decipher.

“...there appears to be activity-”

“Reports are flooding in-”

“Red alert; we repeat, red ale-”

You and Tom stared at each other shell shocked for a moment before he hurried over to the windows.

“It’s dark, y/n.”

“It’s nighttime,” you tried to reason.

“Look at the clock for me,” his voice was shaky.

You felt your blood run cold as you did.

“It’s...3:30 in the afternoon.”

You both thought it was nighttime, but it’s only because the sky had turned black.

“Tom...”

The radio tuned on again.

“If anyone is out there listening...it appears....that the rain has returned. We do not know how long this second wave will last, or when we will be able to broadcast again. We urge you all to stay sheltered and not to go outside. May god be wi-”

Another loud beep, and the signal had disappeared.

You let out a panicked whimper and Tom ran to and hugged you like he would lose you if you didn’t.

You heard a clash of thunder, and your windows shook. Then, the unmistakeable, dreadful sound of a torrential, violent rain. A tornado siren tolled in the distance, filling the watery noise with an abysmal blare. You could see nothing but the lantern in front of you; your body going into shock as your outside was warmed by Tom’s embrace but chilled to the core with fear.

"We need to go take cover,” Tom said quietly, lacing his fingers with yours. The storage room attached to the garage was the only one without windows, and you had set it up days ago with blankets, pillows, candles and food just in case you needed it, all while praying you wouldn’t.

Your legs barely carried you to the small room and Tom helped you to settle down on the mattress inside. He went to sit on the floor next to you, but you refused to let go of his hand.

“Tom...stay with me. Please.”

He silently obliged and laid down next to you, covering himself with the same blankets, pulling you close into him and wrapping his arms around your body, and he smelled like home. You closed your eyes and tried to take in every molecule of him, felt your whole chest sink down, the pressure that filled your head dissipating. Wrapped here in his arms, you could’ve almost forgotten that, on the other side of this wall, the world was ending all over again.

He breathed you in all the same, thanking anything that was left that he had you to cling to.

"We’ll be safe here,” he almost whispered.

“I’m scared, Tom.”

“I know.”

You took a breath to speak, and he pulled his head back just enough so that he could look into your eyes. They searched yours frantically, like he was just seeing you for the first time, only by the light of the lantern.

“But I’m a little less scared with you.”

He let out a slow sigh, attempting to steady his pulse, and rested his forehead against yours, bringing a hand up to idle in the crook of your neck. You didn’t know it, but he needed you as much as you did him in that moment.

“We’re in this together, y/n. You and me.”

A window shattered somewhere outside, followed by what sounded like a loud, shrill scream. You looked away in horror.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Focus on me.” he spoke softly and turned your chin back with his thumb, rubbing your cheek in slow, calming circles. “We’re gonna survive this.”

“H-how do you know?”

“Because I’ll be damned if I was only given a week to know you.”

“Tom...”

There was another vicious rumble of thunder, and your body shook involuntarily. It sounded like the heavens themselves were opening up onto your ceiling. Tom squeezed you tighter and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Talk to me, love.”

“About what?”

“Everything.”

You stayed that way for countless hours, until the lantern ran out of oil, until you both were lost in dreams of days where the sun shone again. Maybe, one day you would be able to see it together.

tagging some mutual pals :)

@peterspideysstuff​ @living-life-underoos​ @chloecreatesfictions​ @londonspidey​ @parkersroses​ @marvelhoesworld​ @tomhollandsmut​ @sad-thinker-over​ @marvelousnat​ @bunbun9396​ @thegreatestlovesofalltime​ @spideysquackson13​ @photoshopart15​ @sailingintothenight​

Tell me about your top 5 OC’s

Thank you for asking! ^_^ It’s super long, with pictures included so I’m keeping it under this read under! It was super tough just choosing 5.

Beyhana

Night Blood Elf Demon hunter

Bio: 

Neyhana Beyhana Felmoon was one of my first RP characters on WoW. My first character to come to WRA after I migrated from Aggramar. Her backstory grew naturally as I learned more about WoW lore and the game itself. She’s an old Kald-cough-I mean Sin’dorei whose mostly retired after the defeat of the Legion. Once alliances were reestablished, she moved to Boralus and bought a small cafe with her adopted human son Leon. She took to a less action paced lifestyle because it gave her more time to be with her son, and should she ever die, due to demon possession or horde attacks. She hopes that having the cafe around would at least be something Leon could use to keep himself in honest work without having to go through the hardships of war that she once did.

Hobbies:

Walking the harbor of Boralus with Leon.

Trying to learn new recipes that are easy enough to be made blind.

Listening to Leon read her stories.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs: 

1. Myself by Bazzi

2. Defying Gravity by Wicked

3. When You Were Young by The Killers

4. Ugly Heart by G.R.L.

Belnet

Bloodborne Elf Adventurer

Bio: 

Pelnet was the first horde character I really found myself in a groove with. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a nelf belf slut or just because it was my first time trying a fury warrior. I found myself really getting immersed in his character, despite my lamination over the lack of Nightborne themed weapons and plate armor. The lack there of, sort of influencing his more worldly nature of trying out other culture’s weapons and armor. Sidenote, that’s not his current RP gear, just my current questing gear that I have him in and I think looks pretty a’ight. 

Belnet is a wandering sword for hire. Since the revolution in Suramar, he finds his pleasure in traveling the new world and enjoying all of the new cultures, foods, and thrills that have come about during his time in Shiny Bubble Isolation(SBI). Currently, he hangs around the wealthy Troll capital of Zuldazar, finding good money in the few skills he has. For as we all know, Gonk wants heads.

During his time in SBI, Belnet was a beat cop of sorts. A guard who spent most his years stopping minor crime. But once the revolution came into full swing is when things got complicated. Shamed with the things that the Old Regime ordered of him and his comrades during the revolution, he now keeps himself in self-imposed exile. Not yet willing to go back to Suramar and deal with the ghosts that still haunt him.

Hobbies: (I’m not doing a normal numbered list anymore, tumblr is a broken website and it fucks up my formatting every time i click the list button.)

1. Going to new restaurants/bars after a good pay day.

2. Loves going to beaches and swimming in the warm waters.

3. Doing enchanted tattoos as a side hustle.

4. Finding free beds to share with interesting locals. 

(could I have put that any weirder if I tried? No. I rolled a nat 1 in flirting, and now in my descriptions)

Top Spotify Artists/Songs: (He has my 2nd most favorite playlist so it was hard to choose)

1. Blasé by Ty Dolla $ign

2. False Kings by Poets of the Fall

3. I’m Born to Run by American Authors

4. Danser Dans Ma Chambre by Helix Jr

5. Lost in the Fire (feat The Weekend) by Gesaffelstein

6. Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader (it’s the only artist spotify had for that song)

7. Caught in the Fire by Bazzi

Valthendias

Blood Elf Holy Knight

Bio: 

The one character I didn’t have to poorly photoshop at all, Valthendias is the OC I have the weirdest relationship with. A belf Knight who, through some shitty situations, ends up guarding a group of Sin’dorei Mages as they explore the Void. During which he finds himself contaminated and suddenly a new type of elf, being exiled from his homelands for a second time. His wife refusing to talk with him fearing the damage to her station, his family exiling him for the risk of themselves being considered collaborates. He came to the Alliance alone and broken. Surround by those he once considered as the enemy and by Velfs who he feels betrayed him.

I have about 5 different class versions of Velf him, none of them seeming to stick. His past self being a pally worked out perfectly as I find I love playing Belf pally. But post-pally him?? I have a velf warrior, DK, Hunter but none seem to really be exactly how I envision an ex-Belf Knight being in my head. But despite not being able to find a stable class for his current self, I have the most love for him, he has the largest playlist on spotify out of all my OCs, the most written about his story past and present, and yet I hardly ever play him! Poor Valt.

Hobbies: 

1. Learning how to care for his new Voidstalker friend.

2. Drinking.

3. Drinking.

4. Trying to find a stable job that doesn’t involve other Velfs.

5. Not thinking about the Void.

6. Trying to write poetry to get the thoughts out of his head.

7. Drinking.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs:

1. Born Again by Saint Motel (He has so much Saint Motel, so I’ll limit it to this one song of theirs)

2. Hurt by Oliver Tree

3. Nice Guy by Courtship

4. Don’t worry, You will by Lovelytheband

5. Turn the Lights off by Tally Hall

6. Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery

7. It’s Alright by Mother Mother

8. Saint Bernard by Lincoln9. Breezeblocks by Alt-J

10. Goodbyes (feat. Young Thug) by Post Malone

Bydryn

Night Blood Elf Ex-Druid of the Talon, current Druid of the Ranch*

Bio: 

Mydryn Earthclaw quickly became one of my favorite characters to RP, the calm, peaceful nature of being a druid in quiet isolation was a fun one to do, especially when I was leveling him through Pandaria and built up his little farm house. 

Bydryn Bloodclaw’s main form became the bear form. Coming from my love of playing druid tank, and from that rush you get when you kill some shit geared prick ganking lowbies in leveling zone. Nothing beats the sound of the /claps of level 20s as you achieve victory lmao.

But in character he plays as a soft spoken defender who enjoys bear form mostly for how damn comfortable it is taking a nap in a cushy hill of grass as a bear. After the burning of Teldrassil, he currently finds himself trying to give aid to those in need in Stormwind, offering traditionally cooked meals or healing. If you’ve RPed in the streets of Stormwind of WRA, you could find him walking a route shouting about “FRESH SPICED BREAD! ROASTED KALDOREI FISH!”

Hobbies: 

1. Cooking traditional Kaldorei Meals.

2. Managing his farm.

3. Spending hours wandering the forests, gathering herbs for tinctures.

4. Talking with and eating dinner at his good Draenai friend Siphyr (eyes emoji)

Top Spotify Artists/songs:

1. The Wider Sun by Jon Hopkins

2. A Gift of Thistle by James Horner

3. Healing Elves by Derek Fiechter

4. Moonshadow by Yusuf/ Cat stevens

5. Healing Chant by Heather Alexander

Bcazim

Goblin Boblin gangster

Bio: 

Scazim while not my most fleshed out character by any means, Bcazim is on this list because i’ve had the most fun while Rping him.

A creepy, scummy, drug dealer in Silvermoon makes for some real interesting times lmao. Even if they try threatening him, trying to offer an Orc deathknight, or a group of Blood Knights some cheap blood thistle is the best RP ever if they play along.

Hobbies:

1. Selling Blood Thistle

2. Lying about his name

3. Trying to convince his friend Kyrus to hang out with him at all.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs:

1. Ispy (feat. Lil Yachty) by Kyle

2. King of the Clouds by Panic!

Honorable Mentions

Noalith - The Velf responsible for ruining Valthendias’ life who has #NoRegrets.

Duff - Disgraced Dwarf of few words.

Thylivour - I wanted to include to include her, my Nightborne Mage whom I love. But I suck ass at playing a mage, and i’ve already made this list too long. 

Dino Rant (Nov 27 + Other Side Tales)

My siblings are currently mad at me. Here’s what went down. Tagging: @akaskira​ @ce-la​ @caratheillustrious​ Who are all practically my spiritual online older sister/sage advice givers and @lizard-in-the-rain​ who can be an idiot along with me.

For context:  Ate = Sister Kuya = Brother * My dad and I have a rocky past because he’s very old-fashioned, hasn’t been always supportive about my mental health, and is really old and out of date (especially about LGBTQ, feminism, HK protests, etc.) * My sister also has a rocky past with me but has since calmed down a little thanks to old age (she’s 23) * My brother is constantly busy with school (and stressed), is still mourning his breakup after a few months which continues to salt his wounds (not because his ex is crappy but she’s really nice. He’s having a bit of trouble still.), and is a very sensitive person (more sensitive than my sister)

Further in, you can see what happened at the orchestra concert on Saturday. For context, you can check out a previous rant.

Me: Dad got some bad oil burns. I was in the family room as he was yelling “[MOM NAME x 3] WHAT DO I DO WITH OIL BURNS?” Mom was upstairs and didn’t hear They are kinda big He’s upset

Ate: What the why didn't you help him call mom???? did you??? yike oil burns are no joke bc they hurt for longer bc water just steams away but oil sticks and keeps burning and the scars are worse

Me: Uh... I was scrolling on tumblr? I don’t know. I thought he already put ice.

Ate: smh

Me: But looking back, I heard the water running for less than a minute.

Ate: LOL

Me: And never heard the freezer open

Ate: water won't help unless you use soap anyways

Me: So I thought he did that but he was really just yelling for mom He didn’t even ice it. He said he ran some water over it.

Ate: make sure you help if someone yells for help next time even if you think it's handled bc if a person is panicking/in pain they're likely not thinking straight to help themselves speaking from experience

Me: Mom tried to give him advice now and he just walked away going “uh huh”

Ate: even I know to put my hand under cold running water and ice it but I've definitely not done that when I've burnt myself before I would be pretty choked too if there were 2 other people in the house and neither of them came to help me when I got oil burns

Me: Mom was upstairs and couldn’t hear. I thought he was crying wolf as usual.He yells for mom around three times on a daily basis

Ate: fair but fr next time take the 5 seconds to check bc sometimes bad things happenesp if all you hear is a thud

Me: “[Mom Name x 3 again] I CANT FIND THE [blank]!!!” Mom: it’s been in the same spot for over a decade. Look with your eyes.

Me: Mom does that once every other day (has a big thud) usually because something broke. When I heard the yell this time, I thought it was because he knocked something over. Dad is always yelling He even asked mom how to make the rice And didn’t make it because she didn’t answer fast enough Dad is a drama queen. That’s where we all get it from.

Ate: I mean

Kuya: Tf is this situation How can you ignore someone in need of help Regardless of who it is Doesn't it hurt to see someone suffering

Me: I didn’t see anything

Kuya: Unless you hold extreme animosity Like they killed your mom or something I have to hand something in by 10 But I find this quite upsetting

Me: I didn’t see anything, and the last thing he yelled was an oil burn, and the only advice I had was water and ice which I thought he already did.

Me (in response to animosity): Not extreme, but living with him with only me as the child has screwed a lot of things up.It has taken a toll on my sympathy for people (or whatever is left)

Ate: Same but he's still our dad?

Me: Eh, I honestly thought it was a small thing until I saw it.

Ate: I have only shreds of respect for him left but idk if I would go as far as to just overlook "oil burn" and figure "oh, I can't help so I'll ignore him" like that's a lil funny

Me: Again, when someone is constantly yelling, there’s a point where you don’t listen fully to what they’re saying. It only registered later that his burns might actually be serious and more than putting your fingertip on a hot pan. I also have little sympathy due to how he’s treated me during my past situations so honestly, I’ve little tolerance.

Afterwards, my mom called my sister who was absolutely hysterical and screaming on the other line to the point where my mom had to pull the phone away from her ear.

________________

Some Stupid Orchestra Stories:

Things I have said to my orchestra cohorts that might’ve scared them:

*sees me bump my instrument* Trumpet: Ouch Me (walking away): Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches, and dead men tell no tales. Doug: What?

*sees me bump my bow* Doug: Ouch Me (tired because I was just excluded from the conversation today because no one would listen to what I had to say): I’m going to stab you Doug: Pat, protect me!

Me: *tells anything about school* Everyone: MAJOR CONCERN (Examples: Kid said that this guy could have sex with his friend before she turned 21 by slipping a drug into her drink, kid saying he was going to hit a girl with a metal bar from the desk, kids smoking out back, kids make noise downstairs which causes the room I work in to shake, kids throwing stuff out car windows, kids brawling, my science teacher from regular school failing me for practically no reason)

More of an annoying incident from me: Hannah: Who’re you messaging? Your girlfriend? Sean: Yeah Me: YOU’RE STILL TOGETHER?! Sean: (sheepishly) yeah

To be fair, I get weirded out whenever they flash their privilege as semi-well off rich kids.  “Remember those special trips you get to take with your school to learn more about science? // Remember those international trips you take with your school club?” Me: ...no?! I’m not poor, I just dropped out of school before I could even go to my nearest McDonalds for a field trip.

But Doug is a little dumb sometimes. He doesn’t get my sense of humour (understandable), but he’s a little ignorant towards not-privileged people. 

He literally said he goes to sleep at 9:30pm, got into university (this is a semi-prestigious one) first try with 90s in all of his classes (at least), has a girlfriend, has friends, and doesn’t understand why anyone would stay later than that unless they had poor time management. His words, not mine. My brother stays there until around 12am studying. He was not happy to hear that. Doug is first year so my siblings are making fun of him saying he will perish in a year’s time. My parents saw him stealing kisses from his girlfriend in a parking lot during the day of our last concert. I seriously though the girl in his profile picture was his sister and not his girlfriend because they were both seriously white. Whiter than a bowl of milk I tell you.

He also doesn’t know what a period app would be for. I was a little annoyed. My brother knows about this well enough because we all know my sister and mom would not let anyone in this family live if they did not know the ins-and-outs of a period. Doug was like, “Why would you need to track that?” I responded, “Because they’re irregular.” He looked a little puzzled and I said, “Douglas, you’re a science major. There’s sex ed in school.” He responded that he is going into research (not sure what that has to do with menstrual ignorance) and never paid attention during sex ed (since it’s never for marks). I then got a little more pushy and said, “Well, if you ever want a girlfriend, maybe you should learn.” To which he said, “I have a girlfriend”. To which I gave him a look of:

Stories from the orchestra concert:

I did tell the bass instructor about this so maybe it’ll get sorted out but I did this “tell the teacher” thing twice where it backfired terribly. Let’s hope university kids are a little more grown up.

My messages from that night: Pat told me it was cute when I played in the wrong spots. It was genuine like she said it was cute. But it was like ??? I was having a panic attack. My brain left my body. I don’t want to play anymore. Then she put up her bow to make sure I wouldn’t flip the page Then she hit her bow on her bass. I really don’t want to play anymore. (She also repeated the same thing twice knowing from a previous talk that I have bad anxiety. She has anxiety as well.)

Me: Then Hannah and Patricia were commenting on my shoes. I like wearing my orthotics. They make my feet feel not in pain. Ate: tell them that Me: I did They told me to take off my shoes “They can’t even see my feet” I’m all the way in the back behind people “Then take off your shoes” “But then I’ll be in pain” “But you sit” (I have one foot on the ground) “So take them off. It’s for dress code. People can see you” Ate:  but it's literally a medical thing Tell them to actually fuck off hoh my god it's like asking a blind person to put their stick away bc people will trip on it or that you can't have your service dog with you like????

May I request Present Mic, Aged-up Shinsou and Aizawa discovering their non-binary ace S/O has debilitating chronic insomnia and has ever since they were a very young child. (Living on a few hours of sleep per WEEK). They’re always on the brink of total collapse but hide it like a pro & have a strict medication regime too so they keep ducking out of evening dates/whatever to go home & take them. But, eventually, they just drop unconscious when with the boys. Bonus if S/O uses ASMR with Mic.

Ahhh I’m sorry this took longer than it should. This was weirdly a lil tedious to write but I really hope you enjoy this!

Hizashi Yamada

Many people wouldn’t expect you and Yamada to be together. You were usually quite and timid while he was loud and had an explosive personality. While many people didn’t expect you two to be together, many people didn’t even know!

You weren’t a fan of social gatherings and events due to your tight medication regime for your chronic insomnia. You wanted to keep this illness away from Yamada and friends to prevent them from worrying, but putting on the whole show was even more exhausted. This exhaustion weighed down heavily on the minimum amount of energy you had to function on throughout the day.

“Y/N can you please come to this show? It’s really important to me and It would make me so happy if you came.” Yamada begged. Of course you felt bad for all of those times you had dodged out of his show and came up with excuses to miss out, but you were still unsure.

One day couldn’t hurt, right? You had been on top of your game ever since you received the medications so one unusual day couldn’t hurt you.

“Okay. I’ll go.” You smile. “I’ll always be there to support you.”

During the whole show, your eyes were lit up by the stage lights and colorful lasers that rapidly flashed through the crowd.  You were so mesmerized at how happy and content he looked up on stage. You were glad that you got to see him in his element like this. It was almost like you forgot all about your medications and illness.

“Yamada!” You looked so good out there!” You exclaim as you jump at him into a hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I’m so happy you’re here, Y/N.” He squeezes you.

You watch on as he talked to his friends and producers, though you felt your vision fade in and out as if they were pulsating. Your body was suddenly hit with heaviness once your adrenaline high went down.

Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered closed and your body gave out. The last thing you heard was your significant other calling out your name and a pair of arms grabbing yours to support your weight.

You woke up to the blinding hospital light, you quickly recognized your boyfriend and your friends standing by your bedside, staring down at you with worry in their expressions.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yamada says with a hard expression. “Why did I have to hear from Midnight and not you?”

“Yamada, it’s not a big deal, really. I have it all under control I just have to remember to really stick to my medication regime next time.” You sigh. “I didn’t think it would recoil like this.”

“You could have told me! I wouldn’t have asked you to come watch me tonight.”

“But I wanted to.” You smiled “And I don’t regret it one bit! You were so amazing out there and for once I felt like I was alive!”

After you were released from the hospital, he made it his mission to help you as much as he could. He did extensive amounts of research on treatments and ways to help you get some rest.

“I really do not think this is going to work.” You unsurely say as you laid on the couch on your back.

He shushes you “You’re ruining the mood. Now please, let us at least try it.” He says, clearing his throat into the microphone, causing you to flinch.

“Do you really need a microphone for this? I mean you are Present Mic. I rather get 0 sleep than have my ear drums blown out right now”

“Trust the process, Y/N” He rolls his eyes. “I can be quiet if I wanted to.” He began bringing random objects up to the mic and tapping his fingers against it. You snorted as he grossly whispers into the mic, but hey at least he was trying!

Shinsou Hitoshi

Both you and Hitoshi had the same issue with getting enough sleep every night. Though you two would stay up until the late nights almost every night, he would eventually fall asleep while you were stuck in a timeless state of exhaustion.

“I’m glad I got more sleep than usual.” He says as he walks out into your shared kitchen.

“Must be nice.” You jokingly roll your eyes, taking a sip from your mug of black coffee. “I got 0 sleep as always.”

“Are you sure that’s okay? I know we joke around about that a lot but like you’re not getting ANY sleep at all?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“It was a hyperbole, Toshi. I’m fine.” You smile. “And here’s your coffee. Black with a splash of milk”  

“Thank you very much. You know I should cut down on caffeine. I heard it’s terrible for your body. I’m trying to keep up with all of this training and keep up to shape too.” He stirs his coffee around.

“Coffee is a lifestyle. You can’t just quit cold turkey.” You take a long sip of the hot and bitter drink.

“I think it’d be fun. Let’s just do a little detox.” He flashes a wide grin to get you on board with the idea. “Puh-lease?”

“Gosh fine. I’ll go on this detox with you, but understand that one wrong word in the morning will get your dick chopped off.” You grumble.

“I’ll take the chance. Starting tomorrow.” He says before pressing a sloppy kiss onto your cheek.

-

It had only been 3 days since you’ve started this dumb detox. Your arms felt heavy as you continued on with your Sunday chores. You set the vacuum up to take a break from the tedious chore.

Once your hear the front door open, you immediately perk up and rebuild your energetic facade.

“Hey Y/N, are you ready to go to the store later?” He says, walking to your shared room.

“Ehhh. Do we really have to go today?” You smile sheepishly. Normally you would push through your exhaustion, but these past few days have been hard on your body.

“Unless you want to starve, then sure.” He chuckles. “Are you okay? You don’t look too hot.”

“Gee thanks.” You roll your eyes. “I’m fine. Let’s just get it over with. The faster we leave, the faster we get home.” You mumble.

After a few steps, you felt lightheaded. Your vision slowly fade to black. You feel A pair of arms grab into your shoulders.

“Y/N, what the fuck? What’s wrong.” He helps you sit down on the floor. You feel him shift his position so you would be sitting in between his legs so you would lean up against his chest. “Do you need a doctor? Should I call my dad?”

You remember those lectures your doctor would give you when you were first diagnosed with chronic insomnia. No matter the situation, always tell someone if you were going to pass out. It had been a while since you’ve lost consciousness due to exhaustion, but you vaguely remembered the feeling of your body growing heavier and heavier.

“I…I’m going to faint.” You groggily say as you feel your body grow limp against your boyfriend’s chest.

“Fuck!” He says. “You’re okay, Y/N just give me a moment.” You feel his body shift to reach other to what you presumed to be his phone. “You’re going to be okay.”

And that was the last thing you heard.

-

“…Are you serious? Where did you find these?” You hear.

Your eyes quickly popped open and sat up. You found yourself laying in your own bed. Quickly recalling what had happened before you fainted, you mentally cursed at yourself.

You see your boyfriend walk out of the bathroom, followed by his father.

“Y/N what are all of these?” He says, holding the handful of pill bottles you thought you had safety kept hidden away.

“Hitoshi, don’t ask dumb questions. I just told you what they were.” His dad rolls his eyes playfully. “How you feeling, Y/N? The only sleep you’ve had in a while, huh?”

“Chronic insomnia? It was that serious and you didn’t tell me?” He says frantically reading the labels on each pill bottle.

“I know it was wrong of me to keep it away from you, but I’m fine. I’m used to it by now.” You shrug. “Thank you for being there when…that happened.”

“You had me so fucking worried.” He hopped onto the bed with you and hugged you tightly. “I didn’t know what was happening.” He cups your cheeks and stares into your eyes. “You have to tell me everything.”

“Y/N we’re going to have to have a visit with your doctor.” Hitoshi’s father interrupts. “Your caffeine intake was affecting your medication so we have to make some adjustments, okay? No more caffeine.”

“Are you serious!?” You exclaim, ripping your face away of Hitoshi’s hands.

Aizawa Shouta

As pro-heroes, you and Shouta worked long hours. Though your hours were long and tedious, you two made a great team. You met during one of your late night patrols and since then you’ve been partners, in more ways than one.

You were ready to call it a night and head back to your apartment until you got a message from your significant other signaling you to head to center city to provide backup to handle a higher level villain attack.

After said message, your reminder set off to take your medication.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath. Of course you bolted to center city in the instant, but you couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if you missed one of your many pills.

Once you arrived to the destination, you see buildings and cars on fire and civilians running in panic.

“H/N! Over here!” Once of the other heroes call. “We need to put these fires out.”

You made your way over to the burning cars and buildings to put out the flames with your quirk. There was still no sign of Shouta, as the chaos continued around you, but you trusted him to stay safe and do his job.

But that worry was ever growing in the back of our mind.

-

After the fact, the city block was left with debris and ruble scattered throughout the streets. Your body was sore and tired from the constant use of your quirk, and the small battles with lower level villains.

You leaned onto the side of the building to support your body, You felt weak and numb, as if you were to collapse at any moment.

“Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” Hizashi says, quickly jogging over to you. “Are you hurt? Where’s Shouta?” He asks, analyzing your body for any visible damage.

“I..I’m fine. I’m just a little worn out.” You wave off his worry. “And there’s this, but it’s no biggie.” You raise your palms up to show him the rawness that was caused by the overuse of your quirk.

“You don’t look too good, Y/N. Here, let me help you get to the paramedics.” He wraps your arm around his shoulder to provide support.

“Hizashi, I’m fine. Really.” You mumble. Your knees felt wobbly, as if they were ready to give out as any moment. This wave of exhaustion hit harder than usual. You felt like you were ready to fall over the edge.

“Hey, can we get the paramedics over here?!” Hizashi calls out. “It’s Y/N! They’re about to faint at any moment!”

“Y/N? Yamada, what’s wrong with Y/N? What happened?” You hear the familiar voice come closer and closer, followed by rapid footsteps.

“I don’t know. They couldn’t have been hurt by those thugs, right? They took them out no problem.”

Hizashi passes you off into Shouta’s arms.

“Hey, what’s wrong.” He sets you down to sit on the ground. “Are you hurt?” He asks sternly.

“No, I just…I don’t feel…” You mumble.

“Maybe they got hit in the head.” Hizashi suggests. “It’s better to be safe than sorry. Let’s get them to paramedics, like right now.”

You feel Shouta effortlessly pick you in his arms, bridal style. “You’re going to be okay.” He says to you as paramedics rush over to you. “I’m right here.”

Before you knew it, your body goes limp.

-

When you wake up, you immediately notice the familiar face sitting by the hospital bed. You look over to see the IV dripping a clear fluid into the tube connected to your vein.

“So how did the mission go?” You mumble

“Swimmingly.” He says sarcastically. “Doctor says nothing from today was the cause of your blackout, but it was just that your body was exhausted. Care to explain?” He cocks an eyebrow. “And I know you haven’t been sleeping either, so what’s been going on.”

You debated on whether or not you should tell him the full truth. You saw the fear in his eyes when he saw you in your state at the scene. Maybe it was time. After all, you had been keeping this secret from him ever since you’ve started dating.

“Well, my handsome, loving, most compassionate boyfriend of all time…” You stretch out. “I have this thing. Called insomnia. And it’s chronic.”

“…Chronic insomnia? And you didn’t think it would have been a good idea to tell me?” He crosses his arms.

“I mean, I did, but I just didn’t want it to distract you from your work and I didn’t want you worrying about me all of time, you know? I always try to work our lives around my medication regime and it has worked out pretty well, since we never go out anyways.”

“And you’re usually done patrolling after halfway through the night. But this time we had another issue so you weren’t able to take your medicine, is that correct?” He furrows his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but please don’t be mad. I don’t want this affecting my work or us or anything.”

“It already has though, Y/N.” He puts his face in the palms of his hands. “You looked terrible out there. Just because of a pill you missed. You have to tell me these things so I can help you. We’re a team aren’t we?”

“We are. I’m sorry.” You sigh. “I’ll keep you updated with everything from now on, okay?”

“Good.” He leans over the bed and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Now get some rest…if you can.”

I Want Him Gone - Part 2

Pairing: Sam x teen!reader, Dean x teen!Reader (both plantonic)

Warnings: Blood, lots of panic, torture, angst

Word Count: 1740

Summary: You were kidnapped at the age of 14, having your parents killed right in front of you by a demon. Tortured almost daily for two years, you luckily escape only to run into the Winchesters. They quickly help you, not only physically but also mentally, taking you in almost as a little sister. Though there’s something crawling under your skin… revenge.

A/N: Okay I know, I just posted the first part yesterday, but I couldn’t hold myself.. The next update will be some time later this week. Happy reading y’all!

Part 1 | Series Matserlist | Taglist (or send an ask)

You were in the state between being asleep and being awake. Not wanting to wake up, you shifted to get into a more comfortable position only to be meet with pain spreading from your left leg. With a small whimper your eyes shoot up looking around the room.

You were left confused and panicked, not knowing where you were or what to do. Maybe this was another set of illusions that the demon had set up. It was one of the first things he did to torture you, making you believe you were with your parents only for them to be killed constantly, breaking you down more and more.

Feeling terrified of what's coming next you shot out of the bed, not caring for the pain and making your way towards the corner. It was something you learned early, having your back free always hurt you. This way you had a clear vision on what was going on in front of you.

Pulling your legs up towards you chest and wrapping your arms around them was the next thing you did. Your leg was bulting, making itself known. The frustration and fear of not knowing what was going on forced fresh tears down your cheeks.

You stayed in the corner, feeling alert and focused for about an hour before you put your head down to rest against your knees. The black t-shirt you had on was not yours. It was really big on you, but it was still warmer than what you usually wore. It felt nice against your skin, it didn’t itch at all.

You kept staring down at the t-shirt, almost admiring it. Too lost in your thoughts about the shirt you didn’t notice the door out of the room open.

“Y/N?” A soft voice said from the door.

The sound made you jump and you turned your head towards the voice. Your whole body was tense until you saw who it was. Sam. The memories from how you literally ran into him, and him bringing you here made it into your head.

Sam spotted you in the corner of the room, shaking. He made his way towards you slowly, not wanting to startle you. When he was close enough he stopped and sat down in front of you.

“You okay?” Sam said.

You didn’t answer. You just kept staring at him, not trusting him at all. Your body was tense, ready in case he attacked. Maybe he worked for the demon? Maybe this was their new way of torturing you.

Leaving the door open for you to have a sense of hope and freedom only to stab you in the back when you started to trust them. But Sam looked like he cared. He didn’t have the same sick smile on his face like the others had…

“Can you tell me what happened?” Sam asked, still trying to make you say something. Quickly giving up on the heavy questions he asked something simple.

“Are you hungry?” He smiled after asking this. He had this calming effect about himself. A little sigh left his lips and he stood up.

“Well you must be, you’ve been sleeping for days kiddo. I’m gonna come back with some food, okay?”

With that he left the room. He came back after a few minutes with a tray in his hands. You had not moved from your spot at the corner. Sam knew you wouldn’t move up to the bed if he asked you, so he sat down in front of you again on the floor.

He put the tray down in between you both. On the tray was a plate with bacon, eggs and some pancakes. There was also a glass of water, a fork and a knife on the tray as well. He made a motion with his hands as if he wanted you to do something.

You shook your head at him, not wanting to eat the food he came with. For all you knew he could have poisoned it. Sam was pretty sure you wouldn’t eat at first glance, so he brought his own fork with him. He took a bite out of the eggs, showing you that it was okay to eat.

You watched him take a bite out of the bacon and the pancakes too before he reached for your fork and gave it to you. Your hand wrapped around the fork carefully. You looked down at the tray and took a small bite out of the eggs. This made Sam smile a little and he incurred you to eat some more.

You avoided the bacon, not liking how the smell reminded you a little of burnt flesh. You ate really slow, always watching Sam’s every move. There was a lot left on the plate when you decided that you were done with it.

You reached for the water, craving the feeling of the cool liquid. Your throat had been pretty sore ever since you woke up. You emptied the glass quickly and put it back on the tray, looking up at Sam.

“You know, you don’t have to sit in the corner. You have a pretty comfy bed in here.” He said after a while.

You made no movement as he scooted the tray away and reached over to the bed. He took the blanket and a pillow and put it next to where you sat.

“At least put this around you, it can be pretty cold on the floor.”

Sam then stood up with the tray to leave the room. He looked back from the door and smiled a little at you before he walked out.

You were all wrapped up in the blanket, ready to take a small nap when you heard voices. Straining your ears to hear what they said you quickly knew it was Sam and Dean talking in hushed tones.

“Did you test her? Was she clear?” The voice belonged to Dean.

“Yeah Dean. She held the silver fork and drank the holy water and nothing. She’s just a small terrified girl.” Sam answered back with a sigh.

“Do you know what happened? Did she talk to you?”

Sam sighed again and you assumed he shook his head or something before he answered.

“No, she’s not talking. She looks so scared, I’m worried something really bad happened to her.”

Their voices started to disappear. They were moving away from the room you were in. Still being tired you gave in and fell asleep on the cold, hard floor.

“Hmm, Y/N, tell me… for how long have you been here?” The demon said.

You were sitting in your usual chair, wrists and ankles bound by leather straps. Your hair and your clothes was sticking to your face and body. Sweat tickled your skin as it slowly ran down your limbs, almost as if it was teasing you.

“Screw you.” Was all you said.

The demon hummed as he came closer to you. He was holding something in his hand that blinded you as it came in contact with the light.

“I believe that’s the wrong answer..” He said.

The thing in his hand turned out to be a scalpel. He ran it down your arm, not putting any pressure, just making sure you knew who was the boss here.

“Let’s try that again, how long have you been here?”

“Go to hell!” You screamed at his face.

The scalpel was pressed against your arm, running down in a long horizontal line, blood seeping out of your arm. Your screams could be heard for miles away. You trashed around, trying to get away from the scalpel and the pain it was causing you.

“For how long have you been here?” He said again in a calm voice.

“One day I’m going to kill you, you better watch out.” You said through gritted teeth.

He laughed. He actually laughed. Then he rammed the scalpel in your stomach. You screamed, coughing out blood. He continued to cut you though your screaming. All you could see was blood everywhere, pouring out of you stomach and all you could do was lay there and scream, wishing you were somewhere else. You felt as if you were on the blink of death when he stopped and leaned down next to your ear.

“I do hope you remember how you should speak to me from now on. A lil tip is to never speak when you don’t have the word as well.” He whispered in your ear.

“I hope I teached you a lesson.” Was the last thing he said as he rammed the scalpel through your leg.

You woke up to your own screaming. Tears running down your cheeks as the memory flooded through your brain. You could almost feel the pain he inflicted on you that day. The door slammed open, making you scream even more.

“Hey, hey, hey, you okay?” Sam said as he ran to your trembling form on the floor.

You were shaking, panic running through your body. Trying to breathe was another challenge seeing as if there were no oxygen left in the room. You started to hyperventilate, feeling even more panicked because you couldn’t breathe. Your heart beat fast and your head started to spin.

Sam was by your side in an instant, picking you up from the cold floor you were laying on. He sat on the bed with your back plastered to his chest.

“You gotta calm down Y/N. Try to match your heart beats to my own. Feel this?” He said as he placed your hand on the sheet. “This is real, you’re here, nothing’s gonna hurt you.”

He continued to give you instructions on how to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, taking deep breaths with you. It was not long before you started to calm down. You still trembled in his arms, not letting go of the memory.

“Shh, just breathe. It’ll be okay. I’m here, nothing bad is going to happen to you.” Sam said camly.

Not long after that you start to relax, feeling his heartbeat was calming you down due to you having something else to focus on. Sam draped the blanket over you and continued to encourage you to take deep breaths. After a while of just breathing you started to fall asleep, leaning against Sam. 5 minutes later and you were out like a light.

Masterlist | Part 3 (coming soon)

Tagging

@miraxo-xo-supernatrual @bellero @chennyetomlinson @sammywiththegoodhair @im-forever-a-fangirl @whocares006 @sushisecor  @spectaculicious @oliolioxiclean @mrsmichaelclifford1 @ellaorelizabeth @iliketowrite02

Interwoven Tales Pt. I

This was never supposed to happen, but it did. This is the first part of a crack short series that I’m writing about the same characters from my different stories interacting. It’s amazing how this all started yesterday. Right, so this one is about the Hermione’s from Fall Through Time, A Dalliance In Time, and Time Travel? Piece of Cake. meeting and having a conversation.

It’s a fanfic about my fanfic...how did this happen?!

   A benevolent overseer has chosen for three individuals of similar names but from vastly different walks of life to be placed in a forest together. Lint glints through the treetops, there is a susurrus through the leaves as the tree branches sway. The distant sound of small woodland creatures going about their lives can be heard all around them.

   "Not so benevolent if you fucking plopped us here. On top of that, where the fuck is here?" A raven haired witch with hazel green eyes asks. The girl's voluminous curls tumble down her back, a buoyant and dark, yet beautiful mess. She's wearing a pair of red hot pants, and a loose and airy white blouse that has one too many buttons undone, so that the swell of her chest is showing. Her feet are bare.

    "Language," one of the other witches' scowls. Honey brown curls whose length rivals that of the other girl, brown eyes that swirl with copper. She smells distinctly of caramel and vanilla. As a matter of fact, the scent of vanilla is so strong as it swirls around the three witches that it is almost overwhelming with their sensitive noses.

   She is wearing a lavender sundress that brushes her knees and gently blows about her legs in the breeze, and on her feet are pair of black boots she'd nicked from her boyfriend's best mate.

   "I agree, who gave you the right to plop us here against our will?" The third witch snarls, gesturing wildly. She also had honey brown curls, but they are nowhere near as long. There is amber sparking in her eyes as she grimaces up at the impossibly blue sky. With a groan she drops her hands to her sides, and immediately begins to adjust her black leather jacket. Cropped Pink Floyd band shirt, her hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, she's wearing black leather pants and on her feet are black combat boots.

   "Where are your shoes?" Lavender dress asks, "and what happened to your hair and eyes...you are me, aren't you? Or at least another version of me?"

   "Do you want a prize or something?" The first witch drawls. "Let's get this out of the way now shall we? So we can focus on more important things...like getting the 'benevolent' jerk to let us return to our own stories."

   "Get what out of the way?" The brunette in the leather jacket asks curiously, and she resumes her anxious gnawing on her bottom lip.

   "Introductions," the raven haired girl answers, hands on her hips as she peers into the forest in front of them.

   The trees almost seem to thicken, and it gives the impression that they are well within the depths of the forest. None of them would be surprised if a wicked witch skipped into their small clearing right now; attempting to lure the trio back to her house made of candy where she would fatten them up to eat.

   They are all fairly petite, but each one of them is a formidable force that one does not wish to anger. That is all to say that there's no guarantee that they wouldn't merely dispatch of the wicked witch on sight. A fact the benevolent author knows, so she shall not even bother writing that interaction—watching them bicker is far more entertaining.

   "My name is Hermione Jean Potter née Granger. Draco Malfoy and I somehow travelled back into the past, and arrived just before the Marauders first year.

   We integrated ourselves by taking a De-Aging potion so that in every way and fashion we were eleven again. Still had all of our memories intact, but the...edge had been taken off I guess you could say.

   We then anchored charms to our magical cores to change our appearance, and we were adopted by Dorea and Charlus Potter. James Potter is my brother, and even though Draco is also a Potter...we are not siblings...and we're together."

   The other two Hermione's jaws drop.

   "Do the trees over there look kind of shiny to you?" The witch finishes, tilting her head to the side.

   "So...that's a lot to unpack. You're dating Draco Malfoy?" Lavender dress Hermione asks, mouth agape.

   "Potter." The witch corrects before she turns back to her doppelgangers. "Really? That's all you garnered from that?"

   "No. I was getting to the rest—"

   "Hold it! I want to hear this. You—" leather jacket Hermione points at raven haired Hermione, before continuing, "—are dating Draco? How did that happen?"

   "That's quite a long story, the in between involved me dating Remus, and Draco dating Marlene...I was Sirius's first kiss...uhhh, and oh yea, I made out with Smith and Draco got pissed, and that's how we ended up together."

   "That sounds utterly mental," Hermione that smells of caramel says, blinking rapidly as if she can't believe everything she's hearing. She folds her arms, then unfolds them. She begins to play with the hem of her skirt, but quickly ceases as a thought comes to the forefront of her mind. "You dated Remus?"

   It almost sounds like an innocent question, but Hermione Potter recognises that tone. She often uses it to mask her annoyance. Not that she often hides it, she doesn't care if people know she's upset with them or not; normally it's cause they're doing stupid shit.

   "Yes," Hermione Potter replies carefully, measuring her words.

   "Odd, you smell like him," leather jacket Hermione Granger murmurs, sniffing the air around lavender dress Hermione.

   "I should think so. I was with him...before I was here," the other Hermione Granger says. A frown marrs her features. "Do you think we should be trying to get out of here?"

   "Maybe. I think we'll probably only be allowed to leave when the one who controls our fates and everyday lives says we can," Hermione Potter shrugs, and with a resigned sigh, she plops down onto the lush grass. She lets her head fall back, her eyes flutter shut, and she drinks in the sun that is gleaming down onto them.

   "It's just that the timing of this is rather inconvenient. We are meant to go after the locket horcrux tomorrow...I am assuming you both know about the horcruxes," the eldest Hermione—the one in lavender who smells of caramel—says with pursed lips.

   Hermione Potter's eyes snap open almost violently, "can we not talk about horcruxes? I know where all of them are, or well, where they will be…but I can't do anything because of that manipulative cunt, Dumbledick."

   There is a lull in conversation, a thick pause, and then leather jacket Hermione says, "we just destroyed the locket in my dimension...and what did your Dumbledore do?"

   Hermione Potter peers at the other girl, "huh. I'm not sensing any animosity towards the Old Codger. Yours must not have been as bad then."

   Leather jacket Hermione snorts, "he wasn't a Saint...but he wasn't terrible, he told us quite a bit before he died."

   "Lucky," Hermione Potter and the other Hermione Granger say simultaneously. There is a silent understanding that passes between them.

   "Well my Dumbledore is still alive..." The eldest of them offers, but from the disgruntled expression on her face, it is made abundantly clear that she holds no love for the man. "Manipulative fucker," she curses under her breath. The other two hear it due to their heightened hearing.

   "Well, I gave you the cliff notes of my current situation, I think it's your turn, Princess," Hermione Potter says, though it comes out as more of a demand. Her gaze is latched onto lavender dress Hermione.

   "Harry, Ron and I were at Grimmauld Place, and then a white light —it was blinding really—came out of nowhere, swallowed us whole and sent us back to 1979.

   It's kind of complicated, but in the beginning we figured out that Peter was already a traitor, and now he's in Azkaban.

   Lily and James got engaged and married...and I fell in love with Remus John Lupin—my mate—and his infuriating lip ring.

   Far too much has happened since, but those are some of the bigger events that have transpired.

   Oh, and I guess you'll like this—Dorea challenged Dumbledore to a duel, and she won." Lavender Hermione informs them, a smug smile on her face as she finishes her statement.

   "Mum duelled Dumbledick? Oh, I would have loved to see that," Hermione Potter hums a quaint, charming tune. "Jamie and Lils got married? That's terrific," a content smile is on her face, but it falters a little as her mind begins to travel forward to the fatw set in stone for her brother and her Lily Potter née Evans.

   "James and Lily are dating in my dimension," leather jacket Hermione—who as determined by the benevolent author shall henceforth be referred to as Kitten—chips in.

   "So it's just mine that are dancing around each other like they don't want to snog each other senseless? Ugh. Of course," Hermione Potter groans. Then she pauses, and she sticks her tongue in her cheek for a brief moment before asking, "when you say in your dimension...does that mean you travelled back in time as well? I just realised we haven't asked you much as of yet."

   "Not exactly. Sirius, James and Remus performed a blood magic ritual that caused them to travel forward in time and space—and into another dimension—" Kitten is about to continue, but gets cut off by Hermione Potter, who looks livid.

   "They did what? I'm going to kill them."

   Kitten clears her throat, "right. Ah, carrying on swiftly. They arrived and caused quite a bit of a stir.

   We ended up all going to Potter Manor, which had been unoccupied for years with the exception of Mipsy."

   "Mipsy?" Hermione Potter's eyes lit up, gleaming with happiness. 

   "Mipsy," The third Hermione repeats. The expressions on their faces indicates that they each have different relationships with the House Elf.

   "Then Lily did the same ritual and came after the boys...a lot of crazy things happened. I fell in love with Sirius Black—the younger one—we ended up saving Draco, who is my good friend, from killing Dumbledore. Some more crazy things, and now Dorea, Charlus and Peter have appeared in the present."

   "You said the younger Sirius, so the older Sirius is still alive?" Elder Hermione (the nineteen year old) that smells of caramel asks.

   "Yea. Yours wasn't?"

   "Not in my old dimension. Sirius, Tonks, Remus, Fred...and far too many others died."

   There is a somber moment as that information settles over all of them, as they all drink it in.

   "You mentioned Harry and Ron went with you to the past?" Hermione Potter asks quietly, a slight vulnerable tremble to her tone. Which is an odd sight on the confident and appearingly unshakable witch.

   "That's right."

   Hermione Potter inhales a shuddering breath, "Godric, I miss them so much. It's been almost six years since I last saw them. James looks just like Harry, or Harry looks like James, however you want to qualify it...but it's unfair to either of them to compare them as they are so different...and Ron. Fuck. Most days I can't remember what he looks like."

   “How does…what’s it like not having them with you?” Caramel Hermione asks.

   “Dreadful, it felt like piece of me was missing in the beginning. Then, the pain of not having them with you…it slowly gets better, and one day…I’m going to see them again one day,” Hermione Potter says with heavy conviction. There is uncertainty threaded throughout her tone, and her bottom lip is trembling, although, that may just be the trick of the light.

   “Are you okay?” Kitten asks.

  “Yea, fine,” Hermione Potter responds, clears her throat, gruffly wipes away the single tear that had rolled down her cheek, and then changes the topic. “So, Lavender. Does Remus do that thing…you know, that thing?”

   “I refuse to answer that,” Hermione Granger with Remus Lupin as a mate (and a lovely lip ring) says whilst rolling her eyes. The benevolent overseer is now tiring of trying to distinguish her by smell, so from now on she shall be identified by the alias, ‘Lavender’. Hermione Potter approves.

   “That’s a yes,” Potter laughs lightly, it’s a breathy joyous sound. With a content sigh, she lies back in the grass, extending her hands above her head. “I wonder if I can get my Remus to pierce his lip, he’d look smashing with a lip ring.” The witch says the last part more to herself than anything.

   “You’re ridiculous,” Lavender says, but there’s a gentle smile on her face. “This may seem like it’s coming out of the blue, but are you both animagi?”

   “Yupp,” Potter and Kitten reply in unison, and they both share a bright grin, and Potter sends a wink Kitten’s way.

   “Same here. I’m a…wolf,” Lavender says, and there is a hesitance to her words, as if she can sense their reactions from a mile away. Though she supposes she can, they are her after all. Different iterations from drastically different dimensions, but still her.

   “You’re shitting me. WHAT?! Were you just built to be your Remus’s mate? Fuck,” Potter bolts into a sitting position and flings her arms out to the side in excitement.

   “Language—“

   “I think that’s amazing,” Kitten interjects, excitedly grabbing Lavender’s hand and squeezing it tightly.

   “I’m a fox,” Potter jumps in, a broad grin growing on her face as Kitten’s eyes widen and she exclaims, “you’re kidding! So am I!”

   “Sirius calls me Miss Vixen when he’s trying to annoy me,” Kitten growls, brow furrowing as she places her hands on her hips. Sparks fly from the tips of her hair as she thinks about the nickname; Kitten, Pet, Mione, she can live with all of them, but she detests Miss Vixen.

   “You too? That’s what the fuckers put as my name on the Marauders Map,” Potter groans, shaking her head.

   Hermione Potter suddenly looks at Lavender with an odd expression, her eyes narrow and she says, "you have a sealed pack bond."

   "So do you, I can see it. Though the threads are thin and silvery, not golden like they normally are," Lavender says, her eyes now swirling with fiery copper.

   "Was it as much for you as it was for me?" Hermione Potter asks with an audacious wink.

   "It always comes back to something raunchy for you doesn't it?" Lavender smirks, there's almost an affectionate quality to her expression.

   "You have no idea," Potter chuckles.

   Kitten has been patiently awaiting her turn, and quickly asks, with wide eyes, "you two can see bonds?"

   "Yea, normally it's only when I'm consciously thinking about it...plus my eyes have to shift first," Hermione Potter answers, her eyes are glowing. "It seems like your pack still has an unsealed bond, sweetness."

   “Well—“ Kitten starts, but halts when she realises her hand is slightly translucent.

   “What’s happening?” Potter frowns, glancing around, and notices that she too is fading from existence, blurring around the edges.

   “I think we’re being sent back to our stories,” Lavender guesses astutely. The benevolent overseer takes note of this, and smiles.

   “I guess this is goodbye,” Kitten says, a touch soberly. This has been bizarre, but at the same time, somewhat pleasant.

   “Knowing the sadistic motherfucker in charge of our stories, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Hermione Potter snorts loudly, whilst flipping off the sky. Just before she disappears entirely, she yells, “more like see you later. It was nice meeting you gorgeous ladies!”

   Then she’s gone.

   “She does know she just complimented herself right?” Kitten smirks, then pulls Lavender in for a hug. “I hope I get to see you two again, this was fun. When I get back to my story, I need to tease Draco about how in a different life we could be together, and then I need to shag my boyfriend.”

   Lavender lets out a light peal of laughter, "the two of you are certainly a handful."

   Then, as if their souls are operating on the same wavelength, the two witches simply disappear all at once.

   The scene flickers, a bird’s chirping cuts off abruptly in a sort of choking harsh noise as the bird winks from existence. The light fades until it is bleak and grey. The plants wither. The air is stale and dry, as if the life is being sucked out of it. Then, it all goes dark.

Tagging some persons who may be interested: @sparkleme26 @weestarmeggie17 @littleredsiren3101 @owlways-and-forever @acciovodka @for-witchcraft-and-wizardry @inmuddywaters 

(I honestly don’t know who else to tag or who would be interested in this mess of a post, but here ya go. I already have ideas for two more of these including the Hermione’s, but it will have to wait for me to get farther in all the stories cause SPOILERS.)

If anyone has any suggestions for any of the characters they may want to see in this weird neutral space I’ve created, then let me know ;)

this is just me being emo over my boyfriend because a month or so ago we decided today’s our one year and i Love him so you don’t need to read this like at all but if you want to....b my guest! 

i never in 1 million years thought i would meet someone like dorian. NEVER. never never never. listen. the ~year or so before we met was my first time being single and feeling completely okay. feeling happier than i’d ever felt before just exploring my interests and making new friends and doing new things, i’ll always cherish that time because i really feel like that’s when i began to know me as i am today. i always felt so detached from who i was growing up. i never made many friends, throughout middle school i was almost completely alone save for my online friends who i love with my whole heart and am still friends with almost a decade later like.........what. but anyways i was so alone and feverishly rejected every aspect of myself that i felt made me so alone. i was too quiet, too shy, too anxious, too sad, too ugly, too hairy, not smart enough, not funny enough. i’ve criticized myself like this from as early as i can remember. on my 5th birthday i walked away from the little area in the park we’d cleared for my party and played alone by my favorite tree, probably pretending to be a jungle cat or something like that. only within the past couple of years did i realize that all of these things ‘hindering’ me are not actually hindering me at all. the only thing hindering me is my repetitive thoughts of “don’t be like this. you are *insert negative thing here* because you are like this. be like them. be like anything Other. just stop doing what You are doing.” and for a very long time i didn’t realize how damaging this was. i always looked up to my father as a child, like he could do no wrong to me i loved him so very much. but he used to be colder than he is now (he’s softened a bit w age/being w a pisces woman for 10+ years) so he had a very deadpan sense of humor and sometimes made remarks that dug deeper than i think he knew into my soft skin. my dad was never abusive, moreso just disconnected in a way many men are, i think. insensitive is a good word. and i’ve always been hypersensitive yet longed so deeply to be exactly like my father. calloused, but funny. able to pick up and play any instrument i wanted to. good at math. all of that! he built his own bass guitar. i think some of my intense obsession with self critique stems from that idealization of a semi-callous man from a very young age. i’ve always been deeply sensitive and easily bruised but i pretend not to be. i downplay my pain. i downplay my scars. i laugh while i tell stories of being blind-sided by my best friend all while i have a symbol of our friendship inked into the back of my arm (no i don’t regret it). i sat alone with the thought of my mother going to prison. i downplayed my pain. my ex cracked a joke about being my “new mom.” i went home and cried for hours.

but anyways. i’m so off track i really didn’t mean for this to turn into my life story but i have always been super self reflective as i said before. but ANYWAYS. dorian and i began talking after that year or so of being alone. i went from an abusive relationship i’d been in from ages 15-17 to dating an alcoholic 4 years my senior to dating his co-worker who i secretly couldn’t stand. and then i was alone and i was happy and i felt like Me for the first time since i was 15 years old. i was done running from sitting with myself. after said year went by i decided i wanted to say fuck it and just talk to some boys i thought were cute cause i knew i had it like that and was like let’s just be a silly lil ho! but that shit is hard first of all idk why boys do That like i was exhausted from it all bitch it wasn’t even fun. but anyways one of the boys was my Now bf dorian and i thought he was the biggest fuckboy like he exhibited prime fuckboy behavior. before that we’d followed each other for like over a year on twitter and i’d curved him twice so i didn’t rly want to DM him (i thought it would look suspicious of me or something) so instead i found his insta and followed it and played the Waiting game and it worked! we started talking and basically we had like the worst compatibility ever over text imo so i wasn’t that into it but he was cute as h*ll to me so i said fuq it baby! we ended up meeting a few weeks later when i drove 2ish hours up to his city with my then best friend to go to a *** *** concert (i will not expose who this is LMAO) so we had like. 30 minutes to meet beforehand and he was highhhhhhhh off his ass when he rounded the corner of the cafe we were meeting at bitch was toasted bitch was fried out his mind i’m telling U..and the entire time he just flamed my shit. and i literally could not tell for the life of me if he liked me or if he was just saying fuck it and doing whatever. oh also i bought him baby pink nail polish as a surprise because he’d mentioned missing having pink nails but he ran out of his polish so i was like ! on the drive up and stopped at a target to find him one (pretty big move for me TBH i’m so shy about people enjoying their gifts especially a STRANGER like..). but he liked it and i was happy. then that night we were texting once i got back to my city and we teased each other a lot but then the teasing turned into making actual solid plans for him to come stay at my house for a couple of days. i was extremely nervous as you can imagine like i’m a Woman and he’s a Strange Man from another City coming to stay in my Home but my crackhead ass did it anyways and i didn’t die and this all has a happy ending so! that’s good. great even. but yes he came down and stayed the night. the next morning while we were getting breakfast and talking was when i realized oh damn i might actually,,really like him? the night before i’d just felt sorta on edge and paranoid because i have a lot of #trama and don’t trust my own judgement very well due to prior abuse so i was just extremely on guard but my walls came down a tiny tiny bit the next day. we agreed on almost everything and liked a lot of the same stuff, like every other sentence was “me too!” to the point that i thought he was fucking w me just to impress me or something/i was worried he thought i was doing the same. we drove back up to his city that night w a friend of mine to go to Another concert (lana del rey, i’ll expose this one) and i just remember having this feeling deep in my chest. not even butterflies. like when you stick a marshmallow on a branch and shove it into the flames of a campfire and the fluff bubbles and pops and drips the coal below, coating it in a sticky hot glaze. that’s how my heart felt. i listened to the shadows by peter & kerry and chanel by frank ocean and passion fruit by drake (lmfao) and felt like a marshmallow perpetually engulfed in flames. i felt so happy i could cry. i felt a little scared too but mostly happy. that’s also something i’ve read before that always stuck with me. something to do with when you meet the right person it’s not supposed to feel like an excited delirious fit of insects in your belly it’s supposed to feel calm and warm and comforting. and that’s kind of how it felt. i don’t know if that’s a 100% worldly truth because i don’t believe there is ever any one right way of Experiencing anything but i just remember thinking about that quote sometimes and being like “huh.” 

after that initial feeling of falling in love it just kept going. we saw each other for 2ish days every week from then on, until he evntually moved down here at the beginning of august. we’d only been dating for 6 months but a combination of unexpected situations just sorta pushed things along rather quickly. but i wasn’t nervous. which was strange because both of my longer term relationships got a bit rocky around discussing our futures together. i always claimed to dislike thinking too far ahead but in reality i disliked thinking about being tied to said people in said way. but with dorian i just felt joy. we stopped at ikea “just to look” on the way down and bought a vegetable knife, a cat bed for winnie and wesley,  a collapsible tunnel they never played in, 2 giant asymmetrical mauve plates, tupperware with yellow lids and lots of other miscellaneous stuff we didn’t really need nor did we have the money for.

as hard as 2018 was for me i would never reverse a second of it. not for anything in the entire world. i slowly lost all of my high school friends. i slowly lost my mind a little bit too. but he stuck with me through every bit of it. i can’t even begin to get into every wild ass thing that went down throughout the past year but we stood together through it all and that feels so fucking good. i sat on the phone before we lived together and listened to him cry because the world is too cold and i cried with him because i was freezing. he picked me up and carried me home when i ran out of the house crying so hard my head was spinning and i couldn’t see past my tears after the end of one of my longest friendships. a man stared at us from across the street and i sobbed until i couldn’t breathe. 

we’re not perfect people and sure anything could happen. we could break up tomorrow. sure. believe me i know that anything can happen. like i said earlier, i have a sizeable matching tattoo with an ex best friend who i essentially thought i’d end up buried next to. but like i said earlier, no, i don’t regret it. and i would never regret love like this. but i also don’t think i will have to. never have i met someone who wants to understand me so fully. who loves me so unconditionally. who gave me the time to open up and decipher my thoughts and feelings and didn’t get tired of it. who helped me to realize that it isn’t me not functioning like ‘every one else’ that’s the problem, it was the self hatred bred from me believing that in the first place. acceptance. he accepted me as i was and i accepted him as he was. i remember saying i felt like i needed someone like me when it came to relationships. growing up i was very drawn to “opposites attract!��� and sayings like that, most likely because of my self deprecating disposition, but after the end of my second relationship i knew i was wrong. my whole life i have felt misunderstood and disconnected and alone in my head and like the butt of every joke like a punchline on loop. he was the first person to ever really take me out of that. to sit there while i cried and babbled incoherently about how i just couldn’t put the words together to express why i was upset or tell anyone where it hurts. why i was anxious. why i was mad. i remember clearly sitting with him in my old apartment while my ex roommate/best friend was at work and  crying and saying i didn’t know how to ‘say it’ and him explaining back to me everything he’d heard from me so far and his interpretation and i cried and cried and cried and i felt seen for maybe the first time in my entire life. i don’t know what’s in me to make me feel so incredibly separate, and to in turn isolate myself out of this immensely penetrating sense of isolation, but he was the first to extend a hand and actually mean it. i’ve been too many people’s empty shell of a girl to project everything they wanted to see onto. it’s easy to do that with someone who rejects themselves because what is there to lose if you’re not afraid to lose it? i wasn’t perfectly healed when we met, i will never be ‘perfectly’ healed. he was not either and i do not expect him to be. i’m only 20 so really what do i know about life at all. nothing lmao. but i know that dorian is my fucking rock. and i’m his fucking rock. and if i asked him if he wanted to move to another city tomorrow and build a house out of rocks we collected on the drive there he would say yes. and i know i’ve never felt afraid with him. i know i’ve never felt demeaned or belittled or laughed at. i know we play like teething puppies who roll around and bite at one another but are always having fun and if one of us goes too far the play immediately stops and we lick each other in apologies and forgiveness and start our play again. i know we can say ‘i’m sorry’ without the slightest bit of hesitation or resentment because what’s the point of meaningless pride in all of this. don’t we hate that shit anyways? i know i stopped off the freeway and chased a dog with you and both of our best friends at the time a mile or so down the road but he just kept running farther and farther away until we eventually gave up on catching him. i know after that we drove back to my city holding hands and listening to the playlist i made you while we drove 80 mph through the inky black desert. i know i glanced over at you mouthing all of the words to a few of the songs. this is one of my favorite memories. the beginning of our love in it’s most raw form, to me at least. i know we texted each other paragraphs and you couldn’t pay me to take me away from those conversations. i know the entanglement of my volatile emotions and pride gets in the way of things sometimes but i also know when to cut it because that shit’s stupid anyways. i know our composite chart has our moon, mercury and venus in the 7th house and that made me smile because the girl on twitter who read sza’s chart said that was a favorable aspect for marriage. i know that i don’t really believe in marriage but i wouldn’t mind celebrating our love and making the playlist for the wedding and probably getting mad over people talking over “this part!” i know that you’ve never once discouraged me or limited me. i know that we’ve been through things together that would cause most to trip and break a bone or two, at least. but not once have i questioned my love for you. i’ve said doubtful things once or twice, but please understand and believe me when i say that it was only out of habit. isolation. i push back when things hurt. it’s easy for me to leap to worst case scenario in the blink of an eye. my formative teenage years were spent with someone who yelled at me and guilt tripped me and demanded and demeaned and demanded and demeaned and when i left for the second time they didn’t demand anything from me that time. it was a couple of hours later when i got a call from my mother telling me they’d attempted suicide immediately after leaving my house. i felt as collapsible as the tunnel our cats never used. everything i was afraid of came true. i’ve lived in fear for a very long time. you’re the first person to show me there is nothing to be afraid of and to love me with no strings attached. you just wanted to understand me as much as i wanted to understand you. you made me feel wanted, but after i’d began wanting myself, too. i’m just happy we met when we did, and i hope you are too. we’re both damaged in different places but maybe the damage only allows for more love to leak out and accumulate in our bloodstreams- just in different ways than we expected. i love you dorian. and i can’t end things i just ramble and connect and ramble and connect until i stop somewhere suddenly. i just love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. i know that i saw angel numbers before we ever met and that angel number turned out to be my life path number (which i found out about a year later). 333. 333. 333. 333. i know if you add 1 to either digit of my birthday you get your birthday (17 & 28). i know we both loved my chemical romance and fetty wap when we were younger. i know your moon is my sun and your rising is my moon and in some strange way that correlates to you telling the same jokes i’m thinking but don’t always have the energy or will to say. i know that i played you a song off the playlist i made for you before i told you it was made for you and you knew it and had sampled it previously and i thought you were fucking with me because it’s not a very well known song. i know that you texted me telling me you found the song and scrapped it and rewrote and recorded it for me and named it after the color of my nails. i know that you are everything i’ve ever wanted in love but could never put into words much like everything else i’ve felt deeply in this life. i know you don’t rush me at thrift stores because you like them as much as i do. i know you and you know me and that’s all i’ve ever wanted. i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. 

--

The Shadows / Peter & Kerry

Relax my hands on the table Uncurl my fingers to reveal superficial indentations Crescent moon shapes mark the surface of my palms It's twilight: your shadows lurking over again Your shadows lurking over again Try to hinder foolish pride From shooting out my mouth like a gust of wind And blowing out your light All I want is you to shine And I'll wait here with you until sunrise I'll wait here with you until sunrise I'll wait here with you until sunrise I'll wait here with you until sunrise I am blinded by your light Your dark shadows always lurking behind you I am blinded by your light Your dark shadows always lurking behind you And I'll wait here with you until sunrise