#I enjoyed this to an extent! but there's also things i'm iffy about.
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2023 reads
Adrift In Starlight
space opera adventure romance
a courtesan is hired to seduce the soon-to-be-wife of a famous actor
a historian who’s focused on her career & has no idea her marriage has been arranged by her rich parents
after a museum tour they and two co-workers accidentally resurrect an ancient alien artifact and end up on the run from the law, traveling from planet to planet
pan nonbinary transfemme MC, touch-averse ace MC
#adrift in starlight#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#I enjoyed this to an extent! but there's also things i'm iffy about.#while there’s clearly a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding and plot; it still ultimately feels like it’s built around the romance#pacings a bit weird. it goes from a to b very fast.#it really very suddenly pivots to Surviving In The Wild On A Random Planet like……..was that really your only choice??????#and then suddenly not. they resurrect this ancient alien fossil and go to its home planet and then it’s just like.#next scene now we’re on a pirate station lets go to the baths HUH???#i get that you have a magic thing that teleports you places fast but like. it doesn’t mean the narrative has to be abrupt too#there’s a lot of ace stuff but also some of it made me ????#like the author is ace but yknow sometimes intention =/= being able to portray things with nuance in writing#allo character hearing she’s ace and being like ‘oh she’ll only want friendship’ despite supposedly ‘knowing all about asexuality’#and adjacent: kinda has the vibe that her touch repulsion is Caused By something and has to be Fixed#it makes it clear that that and asexuality are two separate things and the asexual thing is def not something to be changed#but also…..regardless of sexuality; does touch repulsion need to be fixed? if someone’s fine with it?#some very….alloromantic monogamous rhetoric that felt a bit off#-and like to be clear this is me being very picky about little things but idk#another thing: the MC’s size is only mentioned in regards to people being fatphobic at her.#like not excessively but her weight is not ever described neutrally or positively at all? and since she’s thin on the cover I was like…..#is she? or is it just normal in this universe to insult someone’s size as an insult regardless?#(I do understand it can be hard for indie authors to get accurate cover models. but you could have made the contents of the book better)#this is all complaints LOL it's not terrible i gave it 3.5 stars? there's many good aspects but idk#asexual books
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do you have any hypnosis audio files youd recommend?
Honestly, the answer is a "maybe".
In my opinion, in my 8 years of listening to files, not even 1% qualify as something I'd consider well made. The vast majority are nsfw, and the vast majority of those just throw any actual hypnosis away for a sake of roleplay. That being said, here are some files that, in my estimation, are at a minimum decent.
And always, read the description of every file before listening, even after reading my descriptions.
There's puppy ones at the bottom, by the way.
First, not an audio file, but an itch.io game.
brainwasher_program by sleepingirl (18+)
This is the most competently made thing I will be showing. Sleepingirl is someone I would consider a good hypnotist skillwise.
There is also test hypnosis game1 and ithinktherefore, also itch.io text hypnosis games/sessions.
Next, to my knowledge, the best file I've personally stumbled on (though it still didn't quite wow me),
Failing to Resist by Jack Drago (18+)
This file is a trance trainer, as in a file meant to use the ideas of resistance and turn that idea against you. It does a passable job, and you might find it quite powerful and helpful if you have some stubborn tendencies as a subject.
Next is another passable trance trainer,
Mind Melt by LilithUnleashed (18+)
This file uses arousal to bring about a specific philosophy of trance, one you might find more conducive to effectiveness: enjoying trance for the sake of trance itself, not just using it as a means to an end. There is no wakener at the end.
Next, a twin pair of files,
The Call of the Void and Hypnotic Acceptance by LilithUnleashed
The Call of the Void is a sort of run of the mill hypnosis file meant to be looped, and designed to condition you to trance and specifically to Lilith to some extent. Hypnotic Acceptance is a conditioning file meant to be played out of trance and doesn't bring you in to it. It's a nice idea that can have some small potential benefits, it's also relaxing.
Lilith, in general, is a competent hypnotist, if not a bit... much... at times. That's more of a taste thing, though. She does a good job, and these files are good.
There is also this conditioning loop file by her which is also nice, as well as this one.
Next is one for the pups,
Collared Obedience by LilithUnleashed (18+)
This one is, at a minimum, a very enjoyable time. It creates a mental collar and links it with actual collars if you wish and have the means. It forms one made out of various concepts relating to obedience. The suggestions didn't stick for me, but I'm a tad stubborn.
Obedience 101 - Welcome to Class! by FlowLikeTea
If you haven't noticed, I like trance training files. It's primarily because they're some of the only ones that aren't trying to just do erotic roleplay with the facile idea of hypnosis and hypnotic aesthetics. It reminds me of the ASMR sphere in that way.
Anyways, this file is just nice. Not much else to mention.
Slow and Gentle Hypnotic Induction by GoddessSoft (NotSoftForWork)
Thank you, Ms. Soft, for making an actually competent SFW hypnosis file. Soft is quite the competent hypnotist, and we'll be showing a few of her files coming up, but this one remains my favorite. It's simply a very well done relaxation file by someone who knows her stuff and has a good understanding of most aspects of audio trances.
Good Puppy Clicker Training by GoddessSoft (18+)
This is a beginner-centric clicker training file by Ms. Soft. It's thorough, long, and pleasurable. If you haven't noticed, I have not recommended files intended to make you finish in any way. I don't like them. They do not work for me. You'll have to ask someone else. That being said, GoddessSoft's page on the link has many different puppy files to listen to. Most deal with that.
Puppydog Fractionation by GoddessSoft (18+)
Another not-specifically-nsfw-focused puppy file from Ms. Soft. If I recall right, the sound balancing might be a little iffy on this one, though. Fair warning.
That's all I remember for now, but I might have more recommendations in the future. I hope you enjoy, and be sure to tell me how you respond to some of them. Enjoy!
#owlette#hypnosis#puppy space#puppy sub#puppyposting#dogposting#puppy brain#dog brain#dumb puppy#mind control#mind conditioning#mind break#hypnok1nk#brainwashing#hypnoposting#hypno pet#hypnosis advice#hypnosis files#brain drain
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Quick rant about Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus
I genuinely do not understand fans who loved Jax in episode one, but hate him now that episode 2 is out.
"Oh, but he was so mean to Gangle."
Yeah. He's a mean character. He was mean in the first episode too. You don't have to like him, but I just don't understand the switch up.
"But why is he so mean to Gangle specifically?"
Because she's an easy target. The other members of the circus self advocate a lot more than she does. Even though he bullies them too, it's with a lot more of an equal standing. Personally Jax and Ragatha give off sibling vibes for this reason in my opinion. Gangle however, does not self advocate, so she's a lot easier for Jax to subdue and control.
That moves me to my next point. Jax likes control. He likes having control over a situation, and he likes having control of others. And to be fair, I think anyone would be desperate for control if they were stuck in a rainbow digital purgatory, with everything being controlled by the whims of an Ai with no understanding of actual human emotions.
I'm not condoning Jax's behavior, but to be honest, it makes sense from a psychological standpoint. And also, to be honest, if I was stuck in tadc, I'd either abstract, or I'd turn into either Kinger or Jax. Seriously. I'd either abstract, or I'd decened into a level of madness that wasn't me excepting the hopelessness of the situation, and end up wacky like Kinger, or I'd become an absolute asshole as a desperate attempt for control. It's wrong, but also, I'm not gonna judge too much. I've never been stuck in digital purgatory.
And that leads me to yet another point. It's not just a control thing. I'm not gonna try to get people to rationalize Jax's actions, so people will like him. He's still a sadist. He enjoys other people's suffering... to an extent. I don't think he wants anything truly bad to happen to the other humans, partially because he'd lose his entertainment, and partially because I do feel like he cares about them to some extent. My reason for believing the second one, is due to that split second where Jax looks genuinely sad about the funeral. Though, if I remember correctly, he didn't go to the funeral. So how much he cares is iffy, but I do think he does care.
But that's just a theory. A game theory. B)
So basically all this was a long winded way of saying, I really love Jax as a character. He's an asshole in a way that amuses me, and he has enough layers to keep me invested in his character, even when he does fucked up shit. I want to know why he's like this. I want to know if it's just because of the circus, or if he'd be fucked up even without it. I'm very excited to see where this goes.
I just wish people didn't see a character that's an obviously bad person, start liking that character, and then get upset when the character does bad things. Jax is a dick. He's gonna do bad things. You don't have to like him, but you shouldn't be surprised when he does fucked up stuff. It's Jax.
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Hi there! I’ve been following for a fair while (I was interested in the premise) and have been meaning to play the game for a while as well, but only started the last day of 2023! One heck of a way to start a year though!
I was wondering, how would the ROs feel about/interact with an MC who is touch averse? If MC can’t stand for people to touch them without getting a little sick feeling? How would that affect their relationship? Would that be a thing that would determine if they would or would not enter a romantic relationship with MC?
And maybe as a lil tiny bonus if you’re feeling up to it, how would the ROs feel if MC one day tried linking pinkies with them? If MC told them that their specific touch isn’t that bad and they wanna try slowly building up physical affection?
Sorry, this is kind of a long ask >.< I myself am iffy on touch at best and I know it’s commonly seen as a “necessity” in relationships of all kinds. Herotome is a VN that kinda breaks down modern relationships and I was curious so I wanted to ask, but alao totally understand if you don’t want or are unsure of how to answer this. Have a lovely whatever time it is in your time zone and I can’t wait to see how Herotome progresses!
Dude(gn) you're valid as hell thank you sending this over <3
I do wanna give a quick shoutout to @crescencestudio who - I know through my direct experience of editing for Alaris - is putting a huge array of touch-averse dialogue options in their VN. Do give them a follow if that interests you...!
I also want to express how flattered I am that Herotome kinda breaks down modern relationships - that's definitely been an unstated goal of mine.
Now let's see about your ask...
Warden: Fuck yeah he's down-- gosh what's gotten into me I'm cursing so much today but I'll make an effort not to censor myself <_< But yeah... honestly a touch averse MC would be right up his alley - assuming he is reassured that he has not done anything wrong/offensive with any accidental touches. To some extent, he enjoys the concept of self-restraint(...) and begins both his professional and romantic relationships rather carefully - so not having to worry about whether he's not touching someone too much or too little - and instead focusing on not touching them at all - should be quite refreshing for him tbh? He may want to touch sometimes, particularly after spending a LOT of time together... but being respectful and ensuring his beloved is comfortable is way more important to him.
Griffin: ..... well, Griffin would do her best LOL. They would have to set expectations and really communicate upfront (which you would always be doing with Griffin regardless of touch aversion, lets be real) - what is not on the table, what could be on the table in the future, what MC wants out of a relationship - and if MC is prepared to discuss these topics and - most importantly, if MC is 100% ready for a relationship - in all likelihood a touch averse MC will be able to make things work with Griffin. Just gotta be clear and communicate.
Mia: ngl she can get pretty needy, it might be rough with her...! She'll want to hug when she cries and she can get pretty insecure about herself, so I wouldddn't super recommend a touch averse MC getting into a romantic relationship with Mia... Communication can be rocky with her even when both sides try their best. But gosh she'd treat touch averse MC sooo well in the time they spend together, if MC would allow Mia to cook and pamper!!!
Dart: Eh.... Why not? He's willing to give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. ....... I'm sorry this is all he's giving me ;;;;;
Jade: lmao she's touch averse on and off herself so she'd understand MC best out of everybody with very minimal communication no questions necessary. They'll be perfectly happy reading on opposite sides of the couch or something...
As for linking pinkies and slowly building up physical affection-
lol idek what to say bc that's so stinking adorable and swoonworthy
Warden, Griffin, Dart, and Jade would make sure MC is not pushing themself over their comfort zone just for their sake - they went into a relationship knowing not to expect touch (I assume?!)
Mia would be too busy having the happiest day of her life straight up vibrating and also having a heart attac like
#creatorofstars#ro: everyone#herotome ask#can I promise a full set of touch averse choices in my own game no#are touch averse mcs valid hell yes#both can be true at the same time
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would you consider chip from the cable guy (1996) a yandere?
I watched this one with Cherry yesterday and it's a fun movie for sure. I like the kind of comedy and hijinks the two characters get into, and Chip is the best wingman, even if he probably goes overboard. He just wants to have friends is all I'm saying. Still, I wouldn't say he's a yandere, even on a platonic sense. Also every time I see this image it makes me laugh, I can't get over how funny his expression is.
The story starts out with Steven, who has just broken up and moved into a new apartment calling his friend Rick about his cable. Rick recommends bribing the cable guy so that he can get all of the channels on the TV, something that Steven gets iffy about. When Chip the cable guy comes in, he tries to bribe him but ends up befriending Chip instead. This leads to the two of them hanging out, playing at basketball games together, watching TV together, even going out to a Medieval themed restaurant together. Steven and his ex, Robin, start to get back together with the help of Chip, however, this causes Steven to want to distance himself from Chip so that he can spend more time with Robin and hopefully get back together. Chip actually tries to get the two back together by pretending that Steven bought her free cable, as well as beating up the person that she was dating, something that does work, however, Rick feels like Steven has started to overstep on his boundaries, kicking him out. This leads to Chip framing Steven for stealing things (such as a TV, speakers etc) when they originally were just gifts from Chip, which leads to Steven getting fired. When asking for Rick's help, we learn that Chip isn't even actually a cable guy, and has actually had this pattern of obsession with other people in the past. Chip ends up kidnapping Robin, and Steven comes to save her. After a fight on the giant satellite dish, Chip jumps off after losing Steven as a friend, but survives. Robin and Steven get together, while Chip goes through the same level of obsession after the pilot says that the two are buddies.
This movie is a lot of fun watching Chip and Steven's dynamic. Chip is very much into television and references it a ton, with his main thing being that he doesn't realize that he's not living in a movie/tv show and that reality is a different beast. It's a bit of a dark comedy with just fun moments in character.
Chip does maintain a lot of yandere traits. He's very clingy towards Steven, constantly wanting to hang out with him, invading on his personal space and genuinely just being kind of a menace in general. He leaves Steven hundreds of voice mails and gets mad when he doesn't pick up, as well as pretty much tries to get Steven and Robin together to make sure the two of them are still buddies. He even buys Chip a ton of things, and when it all backfires, he goes back hard with vengeance, kidnapping Robin and framing him for stealing. Still, the genuine problem I have with Chip as a yandere is that he switches targets too fast. In the end of the movie, he pretty much is implied to have ditched Steven in favor of the pilot and that's after Steven made a plea to him before jumping off of the satellite dish that the two of them would still be friends together, and even in the end, Steven still never really says that he wants to stop being friends with him. You can also argue that he has, at least according to Rick, done something like this in the past, however, you can argue that we don't really know the extent to how far he went so that's up in the air, but really, a yandere, even one that's platonic shouldn't really switch up targets that fast, as yanderes are very well known for their devotion and persistence towards one person, even if it is in a platonic way.
Overall, very fun movie that I enjoyed with a obsessive character, however, for my money it doesn't really hit the yandere mark due to the fact that again, he switches targets far too fast.
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heyo!!!
i wanted to ask - do u know if there is any place where i can like. read all of the main story (both modes)?
because like... if im being honest, i cannot get myself to keep playing the game (main story wise) it's genuinely so hard to level up and get good enough cards to keep progressing without having to use a million glow sticks and a dream. i'm very interested to know about the new characters & just generally everyone's stories as well...
i do not, unfortunately! :( i've seen many people attempt to post or stream the entire story in public, but their videos always get taken down by solmare shortly after. your best bet would be finding a drive with every lesson recorded.
i've been thinking of doing just that as well--two weeks ago i began streaming for my friends who either haven't read obey me, or are just getting back into it after years. i wasn't unsure if i should bother recording everything or not for safekeeping (or to let my friends go back and read), but since you brought it up i'll give it more thought.
i also know that your wish is to see the story for yourself, but if anything, enjoying obey me from the sidelines even when you aren't actively in the fandom is just as valid! the writing up throughout season 3 is iffy, and i really don't know what they were thinking for season 4... but if there's one thing you can safely rely on, it's the fandom sharing the most important parts of the stories.
to some extent, it's almost better if you consume it that way if you don't want to become aggravated by the tragedy that is the writing consistency overall. again! i know that you'd like to see the story for yourself, so i'll be on the look out for anyone who does that sort of thing. i'm sure there are videos and streams on youtube and other platforms somewhere, though. best of luck to you, raaz!
#﹒❝ birdsong#raazberry#(ok tbh im aware that theres definitely still ppl who stream every lesson but i know for a fact that it's extremely difficult#to even get through hard mode)#a complicated thing..! i understand that solmare wants people to honor their privacy policy though#but still >:( i wont forget how they took down sim's first birthday#when back then we thought that we'd never get reruns of events ever again--ESPECIALLY birthday events#sighhh but anyways. that's that!
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Have you ever rewatched station 19? I’ve been doing that all summer and it’s strange, I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed the earlier seasons. I feel like it’s two different shows after season two and even now I enjoy Marina is different. Like before I was all in and cared about every character to a certain extent but now I’m iffy on their relationship and only watch because I want to know how it ends lol
I haven't, no. Even when I'm changing channels and it happens to be on somewhere I can't be bothered to watch it again - though I do always check the ep and like to get at least a glimpse of Maya. After all, I'm only human. 😉
If I would really sit down for it again though, it would be for the first two (maybe 3) seasons. I prefer the vibe of the early years, when it was more about the team/friendship and the firefighting. After that it still had its moments, but as a whole it became too much about their seperate lives outside the job (relationships and politics), which I just don't want to sit down for all over again.
And Marina... I don't know. I mean, I don't hate them, let me be clear about that, but I can't help feeling that it takes a bit from other things I'd also like to see (like the s19 girls hanging out) or that maybe also could be (exciting sparks with new people?). I guess to me personally the whole settling down thing just isn't the most interesting watch.
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For the author commentary:
As weeks passed, he found himself picturing running into Yassen. It was nothing like the hallucinations, he hadn’t had one of those since Air Force One. It was just idle musings.
Maybe he’d be in an airport terminal somewhere and see Yassen sitting at another gate wearing a fake moustache. Or he’d go on holiday and encounter Yassen somewhere in France or Italy, or even Russia. Where did injured assassins go to recover? Alex didn’t know, but he had to imagine it was probably far away from here.
There was another thought too, although he didn’t like to consider it, that he’d somehow end up involved in another mission for MI6, and he’d arrive somewhere to find Yassen waiting in the shadows, working for yet another morally bankrupt employer.
For the fic commentary meme. Thanks for the ask! :D
So this is from Until Next Time, which was actually my very first (published) AR fanfic, written for spyfest, and it's set after the season 2 finale. I really enjoyed writing it, although there's a few bits that I might do differently now, but that's what you get with first fics!
Some line-by-line/paragraph-by-paragraph commentary below the cut:
As weeks passed, he found himself picturing running into Yassen. It was nothing like the hallucinations, he hadn’t had one of those since Air Force One. It was just idle musings.
I don't know if it's actually supported by canon, but I don't think Alex has hallucinations any more? At least not to the extent that the seemed to in 2x01, but then perhaps some of those really were Yassen all along. I think in a way getting to hear more about Yassen and finding out that he really was behind Ian's murder sort of allowed him to come to terms with some of the lingering feelings of unease. Like, I imagine that meeting at Point Blanc kind of haunted him and now he at least understands it a bit more. And he's not got new things to be traumatised about, yay!
At the same time, I don't think Alex would quite be able to stop thinking about what Yassen said, and the fact that he seemed to be dying but then disappeared.
Maybe he’d be in an airport terminal somewhere and see Yassen sitting at another gate wearing a fake moustache. Or he’d go on holiday and encounter Yassen somewhere in France or Italy, or even Russia. Where did injured assassins go to recover? Alex didn’t know, but he had to imagine it was probably far away from here.
The image of Yassen wearing a fake moustache just cracks me up, sorry ahsldfhds. But really this fic veered strangely between serious angst and low-key crack and this is leaning towards the crack end of the spectrum. I like the idea that Alex thinks about meeting Yassen again, though, and wonders what became of him.
There was another thought too, although he didn’t like to consider it, that he’d somehow end up involved in another mission for MI6, and he’d arrive somewhere to find Yassen waiting in the shadows, working for yet another morally bankrupt employer.
This is one of the bits where in retrospect, I'm a bit iffy about, because would Alex really think he'll end up working for the Department/MI6 again in the show? I imagine it's a bit different from the books because here he had the one mission and then he investigated on his own, but there's not really that established history of getting sent out on missions as there is in the book. So this might be a bit influenced by book!Alex, but at the same time I could see some cynical part Alex doesn't like to think about believing that he's already caught up in this world and he won't really be able to go back to normal.
And despite his fascination with Yassen and Yassen shooting Cray, the man is still an assassin and not a good person. I imagine that would also be on Alex's mind as he tries to process the fact that Yassen claimed that Alex's dad was his friend.
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WIP WEDNESDAY
okay okay okay i'm still foaming at the mouth over that book announcement, but HOW ABOUT SOME WIDOMAUK??
This next chapter of OUADYA is likely gonna be a long one, so I'm iffy on when it'll come out, but hey! The surprise of never knowing when a chapter might drop is part of the fun. Schedules are for other people. I'm different. (And also fifty shades of foaming at the mouth rn.)
A shift of clothing and a groan suddenly startled him. His eyes snapped open and then darted to the left to see Caleb, bound identically, beginning to stir awake. His face was still flush with the remains of the alcohol, but when his eyes blinked open, they lacked the haze associated with drunkenness- nothing like a kidnapping to sober you up.
“Good morning,” Molly chirped, trying to keep his humor. “The accommodations at this party are terrible. I hope the host has comment cards.”
Caleb didn’t even chuckle. He tested the extent of his own bonds and Molly followed his gaze to the anchor stuck into the stone that their ankle shackles were attached to. He tested the stability of it by trying to pull his knee up to his chest, but the chain went taut and the anchor held and Caleb was forced to stop lest he twist, bruise, or break something. Getting out of here with a limp would make things difficult- more difficult. It was dire enough as is.
“The wine was drugged,” Molly explained, desperately to fill the silence. He hated silence. Too much like the grave and even if his world was rarely ever silent with the Somnovem lurking, there was a difference between their persistent presence in his head and the absence of conversation outside of it. “I- I tried to get it out of you, but-“
Caleb flicked his gaze to Molly, eyes now drawing up the planes of his face to his forehead. “You were knocked out? They left quite the knot.”
Molly bared his teeth and tried to lift his hand to touch it so that he could assess the damage, but the manacles held and left him miserable and whiny. “Is it bad?”
“You’re worried about your looks in this situation?” There. That was a Caleb smile- small and barely noticeable, but he was trying.
“It’s the little things that keep me from getting caught up in the big things.” He shrugged. At least that explained the dull throb in his temple. “You know, I’m starting to rethink my enjoyment of manacles.”
Now Caleb laughed and, grateful for that rare and intoxicating sound, Molly flopped over a bit so he could lean against the wizard’s shoulder and take comfort in his presence. Caleb didn’t protest.
“Do you know what happened?” He asked, all-too willing to break whatever silence settled over them, either because he had his own problems with it or he was figuring out that Molly had issues with it. Either option would have made him love Caleb all the more, as if he wasn’t already glutted on it, uselessly.
“I don’t…” Molly started. He scrunched his eyes shut, trying to remember. He’d been drinking so much and just trying to enjoy himself. When it turned, it had seemed like a dream.
A nightmare, in fact.
“I wasn’t all there when Rinna showed up. I heard something about the Court of Nightmares and then the lights went out. Marion screamed.” He winced. Gods, Jester was probably losing her mind. She wouldn’t have had the wine, but that didn’t mean she avoided being caught. And if she hadn’t…
No, no… He had to figure this out first. They couldn’t even begin to worry about the rest of the Nein until they understood the situation and how to get out of it. “I think this entire party was just a snare.”
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I don't get why many people think there is something seriously off and iffy in the Robecca Robron storyline and the whole cheating- babe. I'm curious more like to understand why (beyond not liking Rebecca breaking one popular couple) you think this particular SL is odd? And why the general audience would think that is too messy to be upfront? BTW I really liked the stories after SSW.
I guess for me the biggest thing is the lack of surprise anywhere in this story. Like I don’t think I’ve ever watched a story that seemed so straightforward. They’ve basically told us everything that was going to happen in spoilers before it even happened. It wasn’t even teasing. It was just hey this is what happens next week. Enjoy.
Within the show it’s self though. For me it started with the day after the one night stand. Nothing about it made sense to me. Why didn’t they wake up together? ED certainly weren’t trying to spare our feelings or they wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Basically every other couple on the show has gotten the wake up/morning after scene together. If the really wanted to show Robert’s reaction to what he did then why not show him waking up next to her and look like he’d rather be dead? The voicemail, her reaction to Chas. It all just felt so off. I mean maybe I’m not the best person to ask because I can’t be unbiased about it, but yeah. That was just the first day.
There is also the lack of paternity talk except in instances where people would brush it off. Like her and Ross used protection so there’s no chance it’s his?When Robert was drunk and being a total dickface. So people just glazed over it. He was out of line. Oh and Liv! The teenage girl who seems to be the only sensible person at times asking why no protection was used and reminding everyone about Ross (which has been a recurring theme). Yet still everyone just says sure we’ll just go with Robert is the dad. Like??????????????????? That usually only happens when they want to shock you with a reveal that the person everyone is so sure is the father isn’t. It’s kind of a soap staple.
Also, if they want people who aren’t as heavily invested in them as a couple as we are in the fandom, then it feels like their pushing it kind of far. Hell it’s torn the fandom a part to an extent. So if even the most hardcore shippers are walking away how is this suppose to keep the GA invested? It just seems very odd.
As for Rebecca, they’ve made it pretty clear the Whites are leaving and she’s not ingratiated herself into the village anymore than the rest of them. So I just can’t see them keeping her around. But the absolute craziest thing is the lack of her and her perspective. We’ve gotten barely anything from her about being an expectant mother. No big firsts. Nothing. Emily hasn’t given any interviews. Whenever an article is written she’s barely mentioned except for how it effects Robert or even Aaron. Iain never mentions her or the baby in interviews either. So yeah it all seems very odd to me.
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2:00pm, December 15th of 2019.
Can't even enjoy shopping, but then again, the local Forever 21 changed their entire layout, and H&M finds it logical to charge 30 dollars for the most basic items ever.
"Like this long sleeve? Its forty bucks! Nice dress right? Yeaaaah its 99 dollars."
And the dude in the dressing rooms said out loud that he thought this stuff was "surprisingly cheap".... these shirts are see through and the fabrics are subpar, none of this should be charged this high.
Outside of a disappointing shopping experience, I also got
Its annoying, the transition from "I'm breaking up with you for keeping secrets from me and enabling idiotic and rude ass behavior from your bitch ass friend", to "Yay, hes dumping me, because hes too pussy."
I'm not a total naive cynic, I already know itd be weird dating someone after we both made our own seperate scenes, and whatnot.
Plus, its for the better.
We all know he still wouldn't have made an effort to get his friends to even so much as meet me, considering how everything had went down.
(And thus, I still regret nothing in terms of telling that nosy ass bitch to go fuck herself.)
Anyway.
Got clothes, stuff that'll keep my arms warm. And some jewellery.... its a shame I never got my necklace back.
....Don't know how I feel about Patrick, honestly.
Admittedly I find it sort of pathetic.
What *I* did was definitely to an extent pathetic, but that was more of a "I blocked him so he wouldnt see shit, and his friends I barely speak to anyways; so...."
Mine was "oh look im chaotic and also sharing how stupid things got to the point where i had left him."
His was posting pictures of me and going "she dumped me lol (laughter to hide the pain)"..... even I didn't go that pathetic.
(Still posted pictures to my private spam, but i just said "its been a long ass day", not an odd declaration like that to openly tell all my friends, distant or close, that I got absolutely cucked by my ex girlfriend or something.)
Did I get cucked? Thats up for debate.
Anyways.
Now that I'm done buying sweaters, time to go buy wigs, or whatever else is needed to boost self esteem some more. Get a wax? I dont know.
And if you're reading this, Patrick, you're literally just gonna make yourself feel worse.
I blocked you everywhere for the sole purpose of "I don't need him seeing what I'm up to, seeing the spouts of sadness and horniness and rage, and I dont want to see his either."
Since then itll just make you upset.
I wouldn't go "oh, i am afraid of Forbidden Animals.... let me look at blogs dedicated to nothing but Forbidden Animals."
NO! SINCE IT MAKES IT WORSE!
So stop looking at my tumblr, fucker. Go... I don't know... finish painting your walls, or building a laptop. Go wrestle with Chris, or idk, check out the steam showers and finally mess around with your sexuality I guess.
Why did i say that, now im gonna be picturing it the whole night
He said something odd in the car about how he "doesnt know about seeing other people", as it would "make things complicated"....
Bruh. You're single, and I'm single. And all I can do is not have sex with you, and probably go have sex with someone else or whatever, and not tell you about it.
So... yeah.
God, he's being so weird about this. Fucks sake.
Aaaaaaand not feeling the most ecstatic.
Plus my other ex, also named Patrick, (fuck, that makes writing these posts even harder,) wants to hang out tomorrow afternoon.
I guess thats gonna be good for me.
Really hard to be ecstatic, because:
I lost feelings for Blonde Patrick for a reason; he was just ignoring my texts, "laying with girls but not having sex with them", and it wasnt a great feeling to have a dude have you as a sexy one night stand in his moms car, just to..... not message me after it happened. Plus, he acted so iffy honestly. As if he wasnt in a car crying with me about not being together just a few nights before, with me in his arms. Acted like none of that mattered... And back to partying and my messages ignored for days!
I decided Brunette Patrick treated me better, and was becoming more relevant in life. When it came down to, "Get left on read by the ex who's too busy plowing ass and taking tests to be serious with you, who lives miles away?", or, "Be with the guy who actually plans dates with you, will be at your curb at the drop of a hat to see you, and is actually doing things no one else has done before? Flowers, candy, cool dates, and just overall good conversation?", well...... the answer was pretty present.
Even last time I called Blonde Patrick, I thought "Damn; we really do have a connection"..... and then shortly after, called Brunette Patrick, became exclusive, and talked for maybe one or two hours straight, and I thought, "Hell yeah bitch..... im not trading this shit in for anything in the damn world."
So now that my feelings shifted to someone else, its a shame I don't see Blonde Patrick the same anymore. Its less "oh god oh fuck im sweating i cant believe hes really here", and more "oh.... yeah man, how have you been? hows that dancer girl youve been smashing been? still gonna go half on everything and then try to get pussy by claiming theres an emotional attachment?"
.....fuuuuuuuuucking hell.
So yeah. To an extent, I'll blush when I see him, but damn.... gotta at least make sure that things go decent tomorrow.
Thank god I'm on my period, or I would've fucked either person and probably enjoyed it regretted it later on since neither would provide for me.
So.... I dunno, don't fuck Blonde Patrick.
He's a good guy; he'd understand. Especially after the heartbreak laaaaaast time, I'd rather have a nice night with him and just chit chatting and going home in one piece, than with an absolutely smashed cervix and fucked up panties
....odd feeling of regret or being used, then promptly forgoten about.
I guess I still do like him.
Alright.
2:27pm, time to go back to whatever I was doing. Lifes too short to sit on a bench and mope over someone who's not even sure why they're moping, so like.... go buy some skirts or something.
And last thought....
Not sure how I felt about our other night hanging out.
Glad that we at least gave that a shot. But obviously, things are complicated if I really like a person, and well... they can't show that they really like me back.
And they wont change things for the better.
Or do anything else to make anything about the situation easier....
Fuck you dude.
It shouldn't have been so hard to communicate with me, and so I left you. Imagine if you just spoke up, instead if acting like a relationship means being secretive and acting suspicious as fuck over stupid shit that wasnt even that important of a fucking deal to hide.
.....he was never gonna make an effort with me.
I really gotta stop thinking of this asshole these days.
Peace out.
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3, 11, and 25 for Dominique because I'm love him and 27, 47, 49 for Geoff! (I'm on my phone hopefully I remembered all those numbers right :7)
im THRIVING thank u
dominique:
3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?
yes. he doesnt really have a tragic backstory even in the space pirates universe where hes kinda ? a bad guy. he grew up with a close friend (later enemy in space pirates plot) montgomery and his boyfriend (gets iffy in space pirates canon) henri. they lived in the same town in an area of french canada. they went to school together and had sleepovers and were just kids and later teens. a specific good memory: helping montgomery and henri go clothes shopping. (montgomery having coming out as trans and wanting typically masculine clothes, henri being genderqueer to an extent and wanting to broaden himself in how he dressed, straying from the typical masculine wardrobe) so just helping his closest friends. and a bad memory: any of the dodgy times filled with drama - fighting with montgomery, unintentionally hurting henri’s feelings. teen drama.
11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?
so dominique is like an alien species. hes like a desert species. he doesnt really have requirements but concerning his diet he can go longer without water than an average human. hes moreso a carnivore due to his species and probably doesnt enjoy a number of plant foods. no allergies that i laid out so
25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?
hes kinda..rude. like hell laugh at people falling and if theyre actually hurt he doesnt really feel bad as much as awkward. he kinda laughs /at/ others. that being said he has pretty good humor otherwise thanks to henri and montgomery. hes the type to think a situation they got into is super funny and laugh at that less often than a joke for example. he thinks hes funny but sometimes hes just mean spirited. it depends on situations and context.
geoff:
27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?
when he was younger and earlier in adulthood like everything made him sad. he used to feel really isolated physically and in terms of his sexuality and gender. with such a big family he felt overlooked and being from a poorer family he was a target for bullying. he used to be ashamed of his mixed heritage, being in a jewish and hispanic mixed family, which also led to bullying, he loves who he is as an adult though. he cries a lot id say maybe compared to others. as a kid it was because he was sad, as a ten and younger adult it was because he felt lost, where he is living with marty tyler and charlie he cries over tyler smiling at him and cute animals. in the earlier days of moving in with tyler and marty and in the beginning of his relationship with tyler he still felt sad and isolated at times and would definitely hide his sadness and tears. he never cried in front of tyler the thought mortified him. in later days he cries because hes happy and will be a blubbering mess with tyler. when geoffs sad hes really subdued. which is odd for such a ray of sunshine, hes so exuberant. but he hides away and paints and sleeps and eats when he sad.
47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?
he never really knows if he should wear a suit or dress. if its something with like more public hed feel more worried and opt for a suit. but if the dweebs have like a holiday party hed probably feel okay in a dress around their closer friends. for his wedding he opted for a suit because he doesnt hate them and he loved the way he and tyler looked together in their suits for their wedding. he loves dressing up but is also a sucker for comfy clothes so! parties have him living. he loves all the fancy alcohol and food and socializing and getting to be at a party or event with tyler where he can lowkey show off like “look at us two fancy husbands” has him living bc h loves tyler.
49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?
hm. he has a lot of material items he loves but def one of his most important things ever is his wedding ring. dude is so sentimental like...dude. he loves any gifts hes gotten from ty marty or charlie. he doesnt really need something with him always but if tyler has to go out of town or something similar he totally needs something of tylers prob a hoodie bc hell miss him so much.
Super detailed questions about your OCs send a number and then letter a-w
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