#I dont know what it js about horse creatures that makes them so fun to annoy
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How To Ride A Chollima
Chollima: I am here to register for the race. Not that it will be much of a competition.
Me: Great! Species?
Chollima: Chollima. Obviously. (mutters) Ignorant Americans.
Me: (flips through rulebook) Okaaay here we go. Winged horse, Eastern—dang, a thousand Chinese miles in a day? That does sound tough to beat!
Chollima: Yes, I’d suggest simply crowning me now if not for the complaining of the other racers.
Me: And “too swift and elegant to be mounted by any mortal man.” Well, good on you for having the humility to join us today!
Chollima: …I beg your pardon?
Me: You must have a rider if you’re entering this race, right?
Chollima: Of course not! I would never disgrace myself or my species by letting one of you unworthy creatures ride me like a common horse. I shall be racing alone.
Me: Ah… well, that’s awkward. Since it’s sort of a requirement. (points at rulebook) Every racing mythic has to have a passenger. How they support each other is between the two of them, but it IS required.
Chollima: What?! Why would they make such a ridiculous, demeaning rule?! And why would any intelligent equine allow it?!
Me: Look, we can have a long argument about teamwork and fairness of loadbearing requirements, but the simple fact is that you can’t race without a humanoid partner.
Chollima: (terribly conflicted) But… but I MUST have that stunning handwoven horsecloak that goes to the winner… and yet I can’t go against the chollima code…
Me: …So you need a rider…but not someone who’ll actually “ride” you…
Chollima: …Yes…?
Me: (scribbles something on registry) I have a solution! Furgus, cover for me.
Furgus: (rolls his eyes)
——
(At the starting line, the chollima hovers a bit above the ground. A human hangs from a sort of fabric sling strapping her to the chollima’s neck, his front legs wrapped around her. A significant number of other racers are snickering)
Me: (gleefully) This is gonna be SO GREAT.
Chollima: This is utterly undignified.
Me: Hey, you’re racing, right? And carrying isn’t technically the same as riding! Yay loopholes!
Chollima: You’re lucky I now have to win without dropping you, just to silence these jeering buffoons.
Me: That’s the spirit!
————
(A/N: Shoutout to author W.R. Gingell’s books for introducing me to the chollima and thus inspiring a new way to annoy horse mythics :D If you like urban fantasy, go read her City Between series, it’s great!)
If you enjoyed this, there’s a bunch more in my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures masterlist!
(EXTRA NOTE: @kittyrinn-aiko pointed out it’s supposed to be a thousand Li, aka the Chinese mile, which is about half a kilometer. So we’re looking at around 310 miles in a day. That’s still pretty dang fast for a magic horse (standard horses can do 25-30), but you know this guy wouldn’t correct the misunderstanding, so I’m leaving it in XD)
#how to guides for mythical creatures#mythic#chollima#mythology#river writes#writeblr#cryptids#monsters#horses#humor#I dont know what it js about horse creatures that makes them so fun to annoy#but then again my character annoys most mythics she encounters#theres just a significant percentage that are horse-related
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