#I don't post stuff like this often but the first six months of this year I was so frustrated with feeling like I wasn't allowed to exist.
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I made this on my birthday several months ago, and now it's the end of the year! Thank you to everyone and everything that has helped me do as promised.
#cw suicidal ideation#litriu art#img description in alt text#<<< I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TAG THIS#I don't post stuff like this often but the first six months of this year I was so frustrated with feeling like I wasn't allowed to exist.#Not until i was this ambiguous idea of ''better''#There was this feeling that the reality of my existence was too burdensome for anyone to bear and I had to martyr myself on my own cross#to save anyone from having to suffer me#I am not ''better'' but I am alive#You will suffer me now. Warts and all.#I'm posting this for me but I also hope that if you are in the awkward middle bits you get something from this.#You're allowed to exist too. Existing does not have to wait until you're better.#Whatever that means.
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This may be a mildly weird question, and I apologize if it is, but do you have any advice for how to figure out if a person (specifically oneself) would be a good cat owner? I love cats, and a lot of my future dreams involve owning one (or several). However, I often worry that I wouldn't be a good cat owner. When I was a kid, I was often nervous/skittish around animals because I couldn't predict them and was afraid of getting scratched or bitten. I'm a lot better now than I used to be (will actively seek to interact with my friends' pets, have been trusted to look after peoples' dogs for short periods of time), a lot of my instinctive reactions to being startled by animals are still . . . not entirely helpful. (Not directly harmful! I would never! But stuff like freezing up or pulling away in such a way that it can give the wrong signal to animals.) Plus, I'm not always great at picking up cues/body language from people, and based on what I've read, that's about 75% of how animals communicate, so even during good interactions, I'm always a little worried that I'm doing something wrong because I'm missing some cue.
Again, I love cats and would very much like to have one or more someday. But I only want to do that if I can be sure that I'm going to be able to give any cats of mine a good life, and I don't want to get a cat only to have to rehome it a few months later. Any tips on how to handle all this?
Thanks so much for your time and, more generally, for the delight of seeing Malice and Vice (and the kittens!) periodically on my dash. Your posts about them always brighten my day. <3
It sounds like you'd be a good owner to the right cat, and that you may want to find someone who can help you pick that cat out when you're in a position to adopt one. If you're lucky, a local shelter or rescue may be able to help you with this. If you can, call ahead and explain that you're looking for your first cat, and would like some help finding that one; ask if there's a good time to come meet some cats where someone who knows the current cats well could maybe point you to one that might be right. Also, if a personality profile for a cat includes "good with kids," that probably means they're going to be tolerant of any mistakes you might make re: body language.
You should definitely look for an adult, at least six years old, maybe even a cat in the senior category (which, depending on how a shelter or rescue categorizes cats, can be any cat over the age of 10. Cats can live a long time, so 10 is really not that old.) Try to not get attached to specific looks and just go by personality.
Cats have a lot of personality variety, and there's tons of cats out there that are truly very friendly and cuddly, and really just need someone to meet their basic needs and shower them in affection. An adult cat that has lived with people before, or who was just a friendly stray is probably going to take it fine if you freeze up or pull back suddenly, and if they're old enough to have become chill, will just walk away if you're bugging them. Crucially, you do not want to try to take a difficult or traumatized cat as your very first one. Those cats need help, true, but you need to learn first.
You can learn a lot about body language for cats online, but mostly you learn it by exposure. Plus, cat body language can be very individual-specific, so it's fine to just learn over time what your cat is saying.
There's tons of cats that are just sweet-natured. A'Tuin, my momma foster, would make a great first cat for someone! She's not shy about coming up and asking for attention, and will even use her paws to pull my hand to her face for ear scratches. She's good with not using her claws, has never tried to nip or bite, and mostly just wants to be looked after and cuddled. And there's tons of cats like her out there.
#I actually picked mal and vice by looks specifically because I didn't really have strong personality preferences#Vice particularly fell into the category of a Difficult Cat#and i like all sorts of cat personalities so that was fine
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Apologies, reasons, c-c-cancer?!?, future plans, etc.
HELLO FRIENDS, it's Mel. It's been a very long time since I've posted here, and I feel I owe all you lovely folks who supported me in years past an explanation (whether or not you even remember me because it has been years now) SO, let me tell you what's been going on (under the cut):
Back in 2017, my mental health hit an all-time low that resulted a suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization. Thankfully, my time in the hospital set me on a path that led me to receiving the care and medication I needed! I started on a mood stabilizer that truly changed my life around. . .
But, because my period of positive self-growth coincided with staying offline and not drawing as frequently as I used to, a misguided part of my brain began associating these things with that awful mental state that almost killed me. I never, ever wanted to feel that awful again, so I started to shy away from sharing and making art until avoiding it completely.
Furthermore, many of my pieces had been fueled by pure mental anguish and, once that pain was alleviated by the proper medication, I found myself struggling to find the motivation to create anything. . . My mind was so much clearer and I could come up with concepts for stories and characters better than ever, but actually getting these ideas down on paper became difficult. For most of my life, I had overrelied on frantic emotions and the idea that my life was not worth anything beyond what I created whenever I made art.
Now that I've realized that yes, my life is valuable and yes, I want to live it, my old approach to art was rendered defunct. I became distracted by new hobbies, since I was able to actually Enjoy Things properly for the first time in my adult life. . . And also because I was avoiding art, which had become a source of frustration and embarrassment for me. I felt like I was a different person than I was before, and the old me was a mess but DAMN they could draw.
I believe it's possible for me to rekindle my passion for creating stuff and discover a reason to draw that isn't unhealthy! But it will require a LOT of focus and energy from me, involving a lot of aggravation and disappointment because FUN FACT when you don't draw for months at a time, you get rusty as hell.
Thus far, I haven't been able to manage the sustained effort required to remember how to draw because, despite being far more mentally stable nowadays, the the last six years have been very. . . Unstable. . . I've lost beloved pets and family members, had to support both parents with major surgeries on several occasions, deal with multiple drawn out court cases (one involving a police officer with a vendetta against my brother trying to get him put in jail, LONG STORY. . .), keep my house from falling apart without having nearly enough money to properly fix the staggering amount of things wrong with it, the persistent cold (and sometimes very hot) war between my immediate family members, and so on. . . My minds been so preoccupied with a constant stream of disasters in my household that it's been VERY EASY to justify a continuing avoidance of art.
I was hoping this year would be the one where I'd get back on track, but instead it turned out to be the year where the old track violently explodes and now I have to build a WHOLE NEW TRACK. So, for now, I have to focus on preventing the derailed train that is my life from jettisoning off a cliff.
Back in December 2022, I discovered a lump in one of my breasts. Considering my age and the fact that it was actually causing me discomfort, I figured it was a benign cyst. Got a mammogram and a biopsy to make sure! IT WAS NOT A CYST. I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, which tends to be the type of breast cancer that folks under 40 get. It's often connected to genetics, but I tested negative for all relevant gene mutations and no one else in my family has even had breast cancer. IT FELT LIKE A VERY SOAP OPERA-ESQUE TURN OF EVENTS AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE THAT'S HAPPENED, not very realistic plot progression on Life's part, 0/5 stars.
Triple negative is unfortunately one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer and, since the "triple negative" refers to the tumors lack of hormone receptors and the HER2 protein, it does not respond to most targeted breast cancer treatments. But because triple negative tumors are nasty, fast-growing little fuckers, Classic™ chemotherapy works wonders on 'em!
Thankfully, despite all the doctors suspecting otherwise, my nearest lymph node tested negative! Makes a huge difference in treatment, likelihood of recurrence and metastasis, and my chance of surviving this ordeal. The amount of chemo I have had to endure has sucked hardcore and will continue to suck. I finished 12 weekly infusions at the end of May, and I started the last 4 bi-weekly infusions in June. The last four doses include a very friendly, fun-loving drug nicknamed "the red devil". :’)
The silver lining of this whole mess is that I FINALLY GET THESE TITS TAKEN OFF AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET. . . As you may or may not know, I'm nonbinary. I've never had any desire for HRT, but god, GOD, my boobs have given me hardcore dysphoria since puberty willed them into existence. I'm not very comfortable talking about my identity with family and acquaintances irl, so the fact that I don't have to explain myself to nosy relatives now is a relief. WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY PREFERRED HAVING SOME AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS INSTEAD OF FUCKING CANCER, but at least I get some kind of reward at the end of all this.
As someone that's been (physically lol) healthy their whole life, this has been a difficult journey. And, this is wicked cheesy, but the amount of strength I've been able to scrounge up? SHOCKING. I'm proud of how I've managed to grow as a person since 2017. Back then, I could've never pulled this shit off. 2023 MEL IS THE MOST POWERFUL MEL YET, BUT. . . THIS MEL NEEDS TO CHANNEL THEIR NEWFOUND TEMPERANCE INTO THEIR ART AFTER GETTING THROUGH THIS. . .
I actually had this fairytale idea that I'd draw during my chemo sessions and ~rediscover my passion~. . . But I qualified for a cooling cap program (helps with the hair loss, trying to retain as many follicles as I can cuz they play the lead role in my physical presence ok!!!) and the headache you get from encasing your skull with ice is not exactly conducive to productivity.
SO, for now, I need to focus on beating the shit out of cancer and recovering from the treatment beating the shit out of me. But because this experience has made me hyper aware of the fact that we do not get an infinite amount of years to do all the things that we want to do in life, I WILL RETURN. . . Because I have stories to tell! With shitty characters that have shittier lives! I didn't devote 30% of my grey matter to this stuff just to take it with me to the grave, man!!!
ALSO, A REMINDER: if you ever feel like there's something off with yourself, health-wise, do not hesitate to get yourself checked out by a doctor. Whether it's a tiny lump, a persistent dull pain, or anything else. . . Find out what, exactly, it is. I caught this cancer right in time! At this stage, the survival rate for triple negative breast cancer is a little over 90%. Had I waited to get checked out, had I given it enough time to matastize to a distant part of my body. . . My chances of surviving would've dipped to about 12%. That period where I was waiting on tests to confirm whether the cancer had gone anyplace else was absolutely terrifying. SO PLEASE, DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR HEALTH (OR YOU MIGHT FIND OUT).
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Oki I'm begging you, I just found out that they're planning on removing the furniture sets from the crowns shop and when I tell you I will cry if they do so, idk if you have any pull in these decisions but please if there's a way to make them stop then please do something 😭😭😭 sorry to ask this but those are some of the best items in the game and I love decorating houses, it won't be the same without it 🥺
Hey anon! So I can kind of answer this concern, but please know that whatever statements I make in this post may not be 100% what will happen- I am a character animator, so I don't normally know of/ any crazy changes to the crowns shop or other items for sale.
However, I am the animator specifically involved with the product team at KI- meaning, when I'm not working on stuff for the mainline wizard release, I'm the one who normally animates mounts/pets and some other stuff that's coming to the crownshop or will be in a bundle/pack/so on. If it Moves, i probably know a bit about it, but if it doesn't Move (so, furniture stuff lol), I usually don't.
I had no prior knowledge they were planning to remove some of the furniture packs- HOWEVER, I did talk to my product coworkers about it, and what happened was that **these packs were probably removed because a good many of them haven't sold AT ALL on over a year or more.
If something's not selling in the CS, we normally want to replace it with something that will. (kind of like how, if you're running a restaurant, and customers haven't bought your tomato soup bisque in six months, it might be time to take it off the menu and add a new soup to attract more customers & keep revenue/business going).
However, it sounds like their plan was to bring the furniture packs back for a limited time every so often, like for holidays or throw back Thursdays, etc.
Again, this is not an official statement by or from KI, so please don't treat this is fact. It's just some information i wanted to share because I totally get why it seemed like a sudden choice, and please feel free to (RESPECTFULLY) provide your own criticism- it defo helps us in decision making, or reconsider choices that have been made.
**Just a side note, we keep track and actively look at what is & isn't selling in the CS, among like, sooooo many other things. It's very rare that we (or, any company selling anything, really.) just "randomly" make choices on what to put/take out of the CS. It's not part of my job title to know/do that of course, but i do know our product team looks at these numbers every week to predict what we should do next, both short term and long term speaking.
Anywho, i hope this quells your anxiety anon! Just speaking as a player, those furniture sets are SO good so i was also nervous when i first saw the post xD But yea it (so far) sounds like they will return every so often and aren't going to be gone for good!
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Sam Claflin and the Ageism Comments
I've been meaning to make this post for... well, months now, the reason why I've been dragging my feet on it is that, honestly, it's such a non issue for me, but I just cannot abide how fucking stupid people can be.
So, what's up with all the "Sam Claflin looks too old on Daisy Jones and The Six", "Sam Claflin has aged comments"?
If these comments came only from incels of 4chan and Reddit, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, bc that's the type of stuff I expect from them. But, disappointingly, they came from DJATS fans.
Also just the sheer perplexity over people being surprised that a person is, gasp, ten years older than what they were ten years ago. Therefore, I have to speak up.
More under the cut.
Around the time DJATS was released, I re-listened to the audiobook, and I distinctly remember Daisy saying, upon meeting Billy for the first time, that he had lines around his eyes, even though he couldn't have been older than 29. Sam was 35 during the filming of DJATS, so yeah, he is older than his character, but I don't understand why this would be such a huge problem? Actors often play characters younger than them, but it's not just that. Maybe they couldn't find a suitable 29yo actor to play Billy, which is not an easy role. (Even Sam didn't get it on the first try, but they gave him a chance bc they knew he was good.) Also I just don't see what difference the ages of characters make in this story. They could be anything from late 20s to late 30s, even early 40s. It's a documentary about a band, not a coming of age story. I think that... it seems to me (and I could be wrong in my assessment) that for whatever reason, this fanbase is really young. (Didn't the book blow up on tiktok?) Maybe they presumed the characters would be closer to their own age, especially as gen z have this weird thing when it comes to age. I don't know. It's bizarre.
So what did Sam really look like on DJATS? Well, most of all, he lost a lot of weight. And sometimes it happens that when a person loses a lot of weight, depending on how thin they get, it might age them. I don't know how you can expect someone to get down to a size where they've left with hollow cheeks without this making them look older. In addition, Billy is a recovering alcohol/drug addict. Those things are generally not good for you.
So even if Sam did look older on DJATS--what does it matter? Is it not bringing the character to life that matters, the talent, the hard work he put in becoming Billy? Learning to play a whole musical instrument, making sure to get it right with regards to his character's struggle with addiction, by consulting the people who worked with actual rockstars who had the struggles in the 70s? Is that not what it is about?
If you only like films and shows with young people under a certain age, then watch those. There's plenty of YA out there for you to peruse.
Sam has been in the business since 2010. In that time he played such a variety of roles that a chunk of the audience don't even realise it's the same guy. He likes challenging himself, he has lost and gained weight as his roles demanded.
Sam is 37 now and he looks exactly how a normal 37yo man would look. He's just more handsome than most. He is a very down-to-earth person and doesn't hang out with the Hollywood elite. He doesn't shoot up his face with botox. And good thing he doesn't. I'd rather have him with a few lines in his face than lose that smile, his most valuable asset.
I'd like to bring attention to another feature of Sam, not something that perhaps many notice, and not something you'd immediately notice when it comes to Sam, bc he mostly keeps them in his pockets--his hands.
These are not the hands of a person that looks too old.
But hey, it's okay. You don't have to like Sam. There's plenty of young male celebs for you to fawn over. Us oldies will keep Sam, thank you very much.
(Note: yes I know women get it worse, but I made this post about Sam.)
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Interpersonal Aftermath, Ben and Patrick Edition
Previously, we talked about the medical and legal and archeological aftermath of Trinity Church. And it was fun! We debated who knows the best lawyer, and the most promising method for drying out the Declaration of Independence.
But now it’s time for the really juicy character stuff—the interpersonal fallout. National Treasure leaves us with four main characters who are now inextricably intertwined in each others’ lives. We know from the final ‘Three months later’ scene how some of these relationships panned out, but even without that, it’s clear that these people have been permanently changed by their adventure. (As any good adventure should do.)
There are two things this article is not going to be about!
It’s not going to be about character arcs, that is, the internal change each character underwent individually as a result of the narrative. Those are topics for another time. (Except for when I say so.)
Aaaaand…this is not going to be about Book of Secrets. (Me, ragging on BoS? Shocking I know. But hear me out!) BoS falls into the all-too-common sequel pitfall of resetting some of the character growth from the first movie in order to tell the same story again. In light of that I don’t think it’s a particularly reliable indicator of how these dynamics would have actually evolved after the events of National Treasure.
Since Ben is our protagonist, he’s positioned in the center of the three other main characters and in relation to all of them (and also Ian and Sadusky, but we’re mainly focusing on the quartet here).
Let's take each pairing one by one and see how they might develop.
Ben and Patrick
Ben’s relationship with his father is pretty central to the entire narrative. The plot could exist without Patrick, but the story of Ben fulfilling their six-generations-long quest wouldn’t function without Patrick as the naysayers who’s been around this block (or John, the now-gone mentor who always believed).
Therefore, a substantial amount of screen time is devoted to their dynamic, and the evolution of their relationship is clear. Over the course of the treasure hunt they go from years of estrangement to reluctant allies to actual allies. Patrick sees that Ben was right about the treasure, and is the first to offer support for his son when the find the empty treasure room. He's the first one to offer to help Ben keep searching, and I personally love this moment. Patrick has gotten what he's wanted for years: for Ben to wake up and realize that he'll never find the treasure. But after everything they've been through after being thrown back into each other's lives, Patrick doesn't want that anymore.
But what happens after that? The Gates boys have been through a lot together over the course of the hunt, but they still have years of damage to repair. Depending on when you think they stopped speaking, Patrick might not know Ben as an adult, and Ben may not have ever really known his father, as young people often don't. Just because they’ve reached an understanding on the whole “you’ve wasted your life on a fool’s errand” matter doesn’t mean the rest of their relationship is instantly repaired. Without the treasure hunt and a literal hostage situation to bring them together, I imagine there are plenty of awkward silences and false starts the next few times Ben and Patrick spend time together.
However, I think they would start spending more time together. Even if it’s forced and awkward at first. The major obstacle that’s been keeping them apart has been resolved (in spectacular fashion). Neither of them has anyone else whom they’re close to, at least not that we see. So this dynamic is about rebuilding bridges that were once burned.
If fact, we just explored what their first post-estrangement Christmas might have been like, and it covers a lot of the same themes: it's awkward until it isn't.
Maybe Ben helps Patrick with some stuff around the house (despite Patrick’s insistence that he’s got it handled.) Ben tries to take an interest in his father’s post-treasure hunting interests. Based on the decor in his house, Patrick is clearly still quite the history buff, so on that subject at least they have common ground. Patrick might not be interested in the splendor of the treasure—I don’t see him being particularly invested in the private jet situation the way Riley is—but he’s beyond proud to tell the story of the Gates family, especially to an audience who, for the first time, cares to hear it.
And after all of the “How’s the treasure cataloguing going?” “When’s the next opening?” “Remember that time when..?” they get to start building a new relationship based on the men they are now, not as the naive kid and embittered wash-up they parted as. And I think that’s pretty neat.
#the national treasure gazette#national treasure#ben gates#patrick gates#I'm trying out shorter articles for a bit; let's see how it goes
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New Post: Turning bedsheets into a wardrobe and other op shop thoughts
Originally posted on my blog: https://garaksapprentice.blogspot.com/2023/09/turning-bedsheets-into-wardrobe.html
The Dilemma
When it comes to my clothes, I'm a remarkably lazy snob.
I want things that fit well. (This isn't an unreasonable thing to want, I feel.) I want comfortable fabrics that breathe, and don't end up smelling like a billy goat slept on them. (I swear, since starting T, I strip my shirts more often than I ever had to strip the cloth nappies.)
I want colours - black and white and grey don't count - that don't make me look dead. (When did all the t-shirts in the men's section become navy and olive?) And I want them to last longer than six months before they start a part-time internship in the mending box.
(The pile doth wax and the pile doth wane, but there's always a bloody pile.)
This short list is surprisingly difficult to achieve, off the rack. Anything that fits my shoulders won't fit my chest, and vice versa. The armscye is usually either comically large, or too small to fit my biceps. And pants? Let's just not go there. (Belts help. Kind of.)
I really dislike how polyester and other synthetics breathe (they don't), so I avoid them whenever I can. It's getting much harder to find clothes made of 100% natural fibres, whether new or second-hand.
Colours I have slightly more luck with - or I would, if the first two things didn't get in the way. Longevity is always an utter crapshoot. (Though I've found that wovens last longer than t-shirts.)
The Solution
Luckily, I know how to sew. I used to do it for a living. (Not clothes, mind - baby carriers. More structural, less technically complex.) My possess all the basic tools, a few of the extras, and a reasonable set of skills.
(I've been making clothes for the kids for years - they care a lot less about style and fit. And skirts are easy.)
So I'm taking a two-pronged approach to this dilemma. I'm practicing making things I actually like and will wear, and religiously patching my current wardrobe while I make replacements.
Making clothes, naturally, requires material. So instead of going to the op shop for clothes, I'm going for fabric. (I stopped buying new years ago, except for underwear, shoes, and the occasional really high quality item from places that at least pretend to pay their garment workers.) But my favourite deal-hunting section isn't sewing/craft - it's the linens.
Wait, what? Why?
Thrift store fabrics usually can't tell you what they're made from. (The staff get narky when you try to burn test the goods, sadly.) Plus there's just not that much of it. Bedding, tablecloths etc are donated far more frequently, and often still have their tags on them.
Now, you do have check for wear. Some donations look brand new, some have had a long life already. Check for pilling or thinner areas, especially in the middle of bedsheets (fitted ones are worse for this than flats). It's easier if you can hold things up to the light. Usually things in worse condition will be priced lower, but not always.
Why not buy clothes six sizes too large and chop them up to make new stuff?
I mean, you can. It's certainly a common choice, what with all the "thrift upcycle/refashion" videos and blogs and such out there dedicated to it. I personally don't, for the following reasons.
Care for people: I take the permaculture ethics seriously.
Have you ever really looked at the racks in an op shop? Piles of sizes S-L, much less outside of that. The bigger your meatsuit, the harder it is to find things that have a hope of fitting. Too bad if you hate stripes, or the fabric is itchy - if there's only two things in your size, then that's the choice you have. It sucks. (I am in no way body shaming here. Bodies do a lot of hard work for the people who live in them, and no one gets to judge anyone else's.)
I'm both outside the common sizes, and a weird enough shape to have trouble besides. And I've been broke enough that op shop clothes were a necessity, not a choice. I know what it's like to have to take what I could get as long as it fit "enough".
To me it is deeply unethical to take the few decent garments that are available for plus sized people, chop them up, and make something for me to wear out of them, when I can just as easily start with a sheet or a table cloth and achieve a similar result.
Efficient energy planning: I have limited time and brainpower available, and sometimes my executive dysfunction is bad. Like, "I'm eating peanut butter out of the jar for dinner because my brain has stopped" levels of bad.
Cutting up a garment, taking off buttons, and so on, adds several extra steps to a sewing project. Sometimes that's fine - in those situations, I have plenty of old clothes in the stash. More often, though, those extra steps completely derail me.
So I find it easier to start a project with what is essentially yardage. Even when I have to cut around stains, rips, or worn spots, it uses less cognitive capacity.
I also prefer rectangularly cut garments, and zero waste patterns that have you draw directly onto the fabric. These work better on something that started out life as a rectangle.
Use biological resources: Natural fibres are renewable. Mined ones are not. Where I can, I use the former. That's not to say I never use things with synthetic content - it's technically possible, but in practice hard as hell.
Produce no waste: I've still got a sizeable stash of acrylic knitting yarns, plus other bits and bobs, hanging around from before I made this commitment. Throwing them out or donating them (ie making them someone else's problem) won't actually fix things; I simply use them in appropriate projects, and when I replace them, I do so with things that fit my current ethical stance and needs.
But sheets are all plain white and boring!
I can see why you might think that. TV has done a lot of false advertising on that point. It is false. Trust me.
(Ignore the movies. Real sheets come in just about every colour you can think of.)
But, I know not everyone likes plain colours. What if you're madly in love with prints, or shirts with witty slogans on them? Well, besides the growing number of fancy sheets out there, might I interest you in the doona covers?
(The top right and bottom left are ex-doona covers. The rest are sheets.)
Or the fine art of embroidery?
(I shall have the most glorious shirt sleeves when I finish embroidering them.)
Or fabric painting?
(This is technically a mend, but I totally plan on doing similar to brand new things I make.)
Or the many different styles of natural dyeing?
(Soursobs from the local park, gently turning into dye liquor for some dyeing experiments.)
Or, if you've got lots of smaller or oddly shaped pieces of fabric hanging around, maybe some patchwork (all YouTube links)? It's not just coats and dressing gowns, either - you can patchwork jeans, trousers, dresses, shirts and more.
The point here is that fabric (and buttons, zips, thread, etc) doesn't have to be a thing you buy brand new. With time, patience, and a bit of luck, you can find everything you need to create great things second hand.
(Maybe I'll write a future post breaking down the costs of some of the things I've made...)
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Hey Annon! I apologize for not replying sooner. I was avoiding PJO for awhile because of some conflict I had with some people, but I have been working on updating my Percy Jackson/Ethan Nakamura story. It won't be out any time soon, but it's been a couple years and my writing has improved a lot, plus there are scenes I want to add and change. I've been working on it the past couple of months. The new story already having 7,000 words and not even halfway through the outline I have. I can't tell you when it will be out (I have school and a job plus family obligations that I need to focus on) but I will get this done even if it takes me another six months to finish.
Thank you for the Percy/Ethan brainrot and ideas, and they were fun to look at, I didn't reply to any of it because I'm organized to an extreame degree and decided I needed to make a side blog for my PJO stuff before I could reply. Anyway here are some of my thoughts that have been long in the making.
1. That's such a cool idea. One that is really cute and sweet but one that I won't be including in this version of the story. Maybe I'll write another one with that detail, but I'm wierd like that and would deep dive the subject and end up learning about a very specific rural tradition about one village in an isolated prefecture and get so far off track from where I started. I'll keep the idea in mind, but my version of Percy and Ethan wouldn't do this simply because on the off chance that they get caught having similar iteams they wouldn't want to risk the safety of the other. In a timeline where the circumstances weren't as dire they sure would, but in this one? They already know what they are doing is very dangerous and any more risk could upend everything. Maybe I'll explore why they don't do it in the fic? IDK depends on how my writing goes.
2. Not at first they don't. They are so awkward in the begining and honestly cautious. Ethan because this is Percy Jackson someone with sometimes incomprehendedable strengths and powers, he wants to keep some distance, and Percy because Ethan could be a threat to his family and friends and he doesn't want them to get hurt. However after they get closer and start to realize any meeting could be their last? They hug all the time, stay in the others personal space, and soak up the presence of the other like it will replenish their strength. They don't do it in more public spaces though, who knows who is watching. However in more private settings they will be inseparable.
3. Them meeting multiple times on opposing sides before the Battle of Manhatten, mostly smaller missions and sometimes by surprise. Neither wanting to hurt eachother but knowing they have to keep up appearances. A new demigod saved from a hoard of monsters deciebed it like a deadly ballet. Both precise in the way they move, but sometimes almost manic in energy and controlled chaos. It was beautiful and unnerving and the new demigod would wonder what would happen if they even fought together on the same side. Of course no one would ever see them dance on the same side but it was just as much a beauty to watch them fight against eachother.
For some context the fic annon was referencing and I wrote is
Love Amongst War
The original version was posted in 2021 but this version is from 2022 and I hope to publish a new version in 2024.
And hey Annon you can send more asks to this account! The ask box should be open. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts.
To close out here is some of the stuff that will be in the new version of the story
- Percy and Ethan often split sweet treats multiple times. Ethan always makes sure they are split exactly in half.
- Ethan opens up about the cabin ideas earlier and many of the ideas he told Percy get implemented even if Ethan never gets to see them, Percy was always listening and what mattered to Ethan mattered to Percy.
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Embodying Feelings & Disassociation
Trigger warning: There will be brief mention of self harm and sexual abuse in this post.
I started therapy for the first time at the end of 8th grade. I was 13. I got pretty lucky and was a good match with my first therapist. Still, it took me a while to start to really open up to him about the hard stuff. I want to say that it was probably at least six months before I told him about my sexual abuse. I don't know when I told him about my experiences with disassociation, but I remember it being extremely hard to tell him, similar to the SA info.
At the time, I had heard of PTSD, but I knew of it as something soldiers get from witnessing war. I knew it could make veterans react to fireworks as if they were bombs, but that was about all I knew about it, from what I recall. I had no idea what else could 'cause' it - if anything, or what the symptoms really were. I had never heard of disassociation.
So, when I'd get really triggered and felt like I was watching myself from up in the clouds...I thought this was something similar to a delusion or hallucination. I worried it might be something like schizophrenia that I was experiencing. As a result, it was a super scary thing to share. But I did, and he explained what disassociation was. When I was later referred out for diagnosis and meds, I was diagnosed with PTSD with features of depersonalization and derealization. I think I was 14 then.
So, I've been familiar with disassociation for a long time now. I don't know exactly when, but somewhere along the way I learned that it wasn't just when I felt like I was watching myself (which has always been a fairly rare occurrence for me), but also when I felt numb and disconnected from myself, which I experience more often.
I started self-harming really young, and cutting in middle school and throughout most of high school. I don't remember when I realized that cutting was something that could take me out of disassociation. I think it was before I really knew what disassociation was, I just knew it helped me to sort of come out of the "frozen depression" type feeling. After a few years of therapy as a teen I was able to stop cutting. My mental health was in a better place, I had gained some coping skills, I hated myself less, etc. But I'd still disassociate at times, and I didn't know how to get rid of it other than to wait it out. So that's what I've done for years now when I've experienced it. And that's been okay, but I'd rather be able to "snap out of it" if I could.
So, a recent experience that I had feels like a big deal.
For 2 or 3 weeks I was stuck in disassociation. My mind kept circling back to stuff related to identifying as being emotionally neglected. So I knew that was the cause somehow. Yet, I wasn't really feeling much. I was kind of numb emotionally and physically, while my mind felt extra hyperactive. I was making a lot of realizations in my head, but they didn't feel true, at the same time.
I think most people have experiences like this. Examples might be...logically I know if I make a mistake, that is just me being human and is not a good reason for anyone to hate me. Yet when I make a mistake that impacts someone I care about, I still can't help but FEEL like they might hate me now, even though logically I know that isn't likely. Or, logically I know that the odds that a sound I just heard outside at midnight were likely a racoon or something...but I can't help but feel worried that it's a "bad guy". I have plenty of discrepancies between my logical and emotional brains that I've just kinda learned to live with for the most part. But over this few week period, I was changing my perspective of my childhood logically, but not emotionally, and that disconnect was new for me in this specific area. I felt sort of stuck, unable to continue processing these pieces of my childhood because my brain and my emotions/feelings were so far apart.
Both of my therapists do some somatic work, but our couples counselor (who we basically see for 'regular' therapy that we just do together vs stereotypical couples counseling) does a lot more with us that is somatic. Nearly every session we have with our couples therapist he'll try to help us embody our feelings about something. I find it awkward, emotionally draining and sometimes embarassing - but it also feels quite powerful.
He's also really into AEDP therapy, which is a type of therapy that talks about disassociation/numbing, etc as a defense from feeling a core feeling.
For those reasons, I thought that speaking with our couples therapist about this might be a better fit than my 'main' therapist who I see weekly and therefore just have a deeper relationship with.
During the appointment I explained my dissociation, sense of being kinda stuck or frozen, and how I knew it was related to processing being emotionally neglected, but how when I talk about it I wasn't feeling any feelings. It was all 'in my head' and not 'in my heart'. There was this big disconnect.
He agreed with my assessment that I had unresolved/unfelt feelings. I don't remember exactly how we got there, but he asked me some questions that led to me sharing a specific phrase that I remember being said to me as a kid. "What the hell were you thinking?" It was phrased as a question rather than a statement, but I wasn't expected to actually answer the question. At times, I thought I had good reason for doing whatever I did, and I would have liked to explain, as it felt like they were assuming the worst possible intentions, which weren't my actual attentions at all. But I felt like I couldn't respond as it would just upset them more. Even though it was a question, responding would be taken as 'talking back'.
He took the implied answer, and asked me what my first thought would be today if someone told me "you're stupid."
Honestly? My knee-jerk response is "....yeah."
Having to admit that out loud brought the emotions. Tightness in my chest, burning behind both ears, anxiety, a little anger, and some sadness. A few tears. The therapist told me to try to relax my body and let it out. I tried, but only managed a couple more tears.
He had me turn to my partner and try to express to him what it felt like as a kid to have things like that said to me. This brought emotion up again. It's so hard to even look at him when I'm on the edge of spilling over with my emotions. He is such a safe person to me, that just seeing him tears down all my defenses. Although the whole point of this appointment was to try to drag out emotion...the parts of me that try to avoid it are so strong. I struggled to look at him, and it took me a while to find words to try to explain. But I did...and I collapsed into his chest and really cried.
It didn't feel good, of course. But I felt so much lighter after this, and I had this sense of unthawing and waking up. I had never experienced disassociation being removed that quickly in any way besides self harm before. It was really cool.
Longterm, I want to learn how to push myself through 'exercises' like this so that I can try to do this on my own. But it was really cool to see that even if I currently need assistance from a therapist to get myself to 'go there' right now, that I seem to have found a tool to move through disassociation now.
I am back to feeling like myself which is awesome, but I also have made big jumps in how I'm perceiving my childhood now. The idea that I was neglected doesn't just seem like something I logically believe, I FEEL like it's true now. And I've jumped a step farther ahead, realizing I was actually emotionally abused as well - and that feels true, too.
As I said in a previous post, I kinda knew that I tend to make big growth after coming out of disassociation, so I was hopeful I'd be seeing growth soon...but it's really cool that I have.
#my posts#trauma#aedp#aedp therapy#somatic therapy#somatic experiencing#ptsd#cptsd#developmental trauma#childhood emotional neglect#childhood emotional abuse#anxiety#depression#disassociation#self harm cw#cutting cw
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18, 20, 26; fic writer asks? :3
Thank you for the asks sorry it took six billion years to get to <3
--
18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
A fun fact about me is that I hate naming fics ;--;. Titles are the bane of my existence. Any title you see of mine was forcibly yanked out of my sad little head by sheer force of "I WANT TO SHARE THIS".
The real answer: after I write fics lol. It is very rare for me to have a title before I go to post on tumblr or AO3 and more often than not the titles are a one or two word thing that are relevant to the plot (see the oh so creative Misfire where Garrus misfires, and Dog Tags where Ryn is...you guessed it, given 'Garrus'' (her) dog tags).
Occasionally I have what I consider a stroke of genius such as And They Were Couchmates aka a play on the iconic vine, or Under the Party Tree which was just a sweet and call back for those who followed along with my first LOTRO fictober.
20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
Thematically, over the years, my fics have become a lot more hopeful and generally gear towards having a happy ending. In The Olde Days (about age 16-18) my fics explored a lot of pretty dark, heavy stuff as I inevitably worked through The Angst of Teens and needed an outlet for whatever the hell was going on in my brain. Nowadays I find I write a lot more happiness in dispersed with my angst, which is often plot driven.
Similarly, I've keyed in on the fact that what I write is often a reflection of what is going on internally for me at the time. Misfire was written when I was going through a lot and as such Ryn also happens to be Going Through A Lot.
But other than that, I like to write a LOT of very tightly character focused stuff. I don't tend to do a lot of sweeping plots, its a lot of character interactions. For better or for worse.
26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
Oooh hm...that is a good question. Does referencing my OLD Fanfiction.net Warrior Cats x LOTR crack fic oneshots count (no you can't find them on the internet)? I know a lot of people want to hide the stuff they wrote at like 12 but I still think that's pretty damn funny.
Lol no, uhm, I am super pulling a blank on this one. For sheer "why did you write this, Deryn" purposes, probably Little Victories because I never engaged with making contact for Check, Please ever again despite really enjoying the series (which I reread last month after not reading it since 2019). And the whole reason I wrote the fic was out of spite because the person who introduced me to it angry vague-blogged about me listing it as a fandom I'd do commissions for despite them introducing me to it (???). So I mentally, at 18, said "fuck you I'll give you something to be mad about"...and for the longest time it was my highest kudos/views/comments fic.
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Alnair 🌂🧠
Atlas 🍎🎯
Shell 🎓🍀
Ebis ✨🥊🎯
Marcus 🌂
Thanks for all the questions!! :D Let's see...
*Alnair
🌂 - What genre do they belong in?
Fantasy! She's an Arcana game OC, so fantasy all the way in.
🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?
They're the perfect mashup of self-insert to project into and character of its own to explore paths I myself would personally not walk through. I also love how she lets me rewrite canon events however I want xD
*Atlas
🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?
In short, pretty good! Atlas has two moms, Naith (they/them) and Irdred (she/her) (and the auntcle/biological father, Laith (she/he/they)) and loves them very much. Atlas picked many interests from them (art, gardening, etc), specially from Naith. And athough he travels far and often (he picked that from Laith), he still keeps in touch regularly and visits home once in a while.
...wow, me giving a character a perfectly healthy background/family. This is rare to happen. Quick, make a wish!
🎯 -What do they do best?
All things plants. In magic? That means potions, charms, etc. In daily life? You got him gardening, cooking, brewing tea... If it involves working with plants one way or another, he has you covered.
*Shell
🎓 - How long have you had the OC?
I wanna say May 2021? *goes check* Yeah, I posted about her in June 2021 for the first time, so maybe I had her for like. maybe a month before that. Which means I had her for almost three years already? And she's still so little developed? Gods. In my defence I don't choose what my brain fixates on and also my life went to shit in late 2021 and kept like that for two years, so yeah. I want to take better care of my OCs and stories now tho ^^
🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?
At first I just needed someone to comfortably play Asra's and Julian's routes with because it didn't quite work with either Alnair nor Atlas. Then I started wondering if it was possible to have one character that fitted all six Arcana routes. So I gave her an angsty backstory by which her identity was stripped and to be reshaped by the route she takes, gave her the name 'Shell' solely so I could have the play on words "Shell is your name and that's what you shall become" as part of her 'curse', and ta-daa! Yet another OC for the collection was born xD
*Ebis
✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?
Okay, bear with me. Ebis is a Submachine OC, loosely based on the Player. And I say 'loosely' because there isn't really any information about Player to base Ebis on. Anyway, in one of the games you get out a padded room and there's the patient number 2183. Which, in digital clock numbers, if mirrored, kinda read like 'Ebis' if you squint hard enough. That's the logic Ebis follows to choose her name, since she wakes up without memories and it's easier to think of herself as 'Ebis' than a 4 digit number anyway.
Maybe it's a dumb way to decide for a name but if it works it works.
🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?
She loves tinkering away with computer software, which is good for her because she makes a job out of it post-canon (I have not written about that, but it exists in my head), and also numeric games for when she wants to scratch that brain itch without dealing with the inevitable bugs. She also loves gardening and not only that but needs to get her hands into the dirt and feel the sun on her face regularly for optimal mental stability.
As for hating... I can only think of anything that would involve her going underground? Trauma related thing, after Submachine she's had enough underground for the rest of her life. Otherwise I don't know, I haven't given much thought to it. Oh! But she's incapable of sitting still and doing nothing, if that counts.
🎯 -What do they do best?
She's very good at computers and programming... and the less socially accepted side of it as well (by which I mean she knows how to hack stuff, but she doesn't do that post-canon, and in-canon she does by necessity).
*Marcus
🌂 - What genre do they belong in?
As the other Submachine OC I guess sci-fi/fantasy? Adventure? There's some post-apocalypse vibes to much of the game as well. Post-canon this would turn to the fluffy slice-of-life this poor tired man (and Ebis as well) deserves.
And that's all!! I believe I have talked enough for the day, thank you so much for the questions, they made my day :D
#shine answers#ask#ask game#I didn't proof read this so please forgive any typos#the arcana#submachine
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Fantasy Au??? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Ok sorry for taking a hot minute but I keep forgetting haha
I'm just going to talk about the character's backstories here, (this post is a bit more info on the characters themselves, go read it- or don't, but some stuff might make more sense if you do)
Roman, Remus and Logan
They basically grew up together in the palace.
Logan is about six years older then Roman and Remus, so while he isn't actually related to them, he's like an older brother figure.
Logan's father is the royal adviser and Logan is training to take over the role when his dad retires.
His current job is to keep the princes in check, he's just a glorified babysitter.
Remus doesn't want to be the crown prince, Logan often has to drag him to the lessons so that he actually goes.
When Remus ran away, Logan was glad he was picked to accompany Roman, although he doesn't show it, he loves his honorary brothers.
Patton
Patton is the son of the village healer, so he knows a fair bit about medicine and healing practice from her
When he wasn't helping to run his mother's shop, he was out in the village running errands for people of helping them with chores/tasks.
His village was pretty small
When he was around 16 years old, Patton realised that the people in the village didn't actually really need him. Everyone was as happy and healthy as they could be, but he still wanted to help people, so he decided to leave and find other villages to help.
He's been travelling all over the place for around 10 years before meeting Roman and Logan.
From traveling so much, he's heard a lot of gossip and rumours, he'd been hearing tidbits about the crown prince for about a month before meeting Roman and Logan, so he had helpful information for their quest.
Logan really didn't trust him at first, but Patton gains his trust over time, don't you worry :)
Virgil
He's been locked in his tower for 15 years, and he was taken there when he was 5 years old, so he doesn't have that many memories of his kingdom.
He's grown to strongly dislike his parents for doing this to him without telling him why. Yes, Virgil doesn't know why he's stuck here except that he has to stay and wait to be rescued.
The dragon that guards his tower is actually really chill and nice, at least to Virgil, she acts like a mother to him- in her own dragon way.
She decides whether potential rescuers are worthy of her 'son' or not- and kills those who aren't which is most of them.
Virgil could probably just have left the tower whenever he wanted, but he's gained pretty bad anxiety about the outside world, he's scared by how much he doesn't know.
You can guarantee that the goodbye between Virgil and the dragon when Roman rescues him is very sad.
Janus
I have his design here! If anyone wants to see it :)
He was sold into captivity as an egg. He's never known his parents or any others of his kind.
He's suffered quite a lot, qt the hands of multiple different races, but he has lived long enough to know that some people can be good.
He's never learned his native language or culture, because he was never exposed to it, he has been able to learn the common language spoken by most people though, just from overhearing others.
He can transform into a fully human form or a half snake form, and he's managed to hide this from most of his captors.
The last place he was captive in was a circus that used him as an exhibit, the ringmaster was abusive and just kinda horrible.
He escaped with the help of a tabaxi trapezist who found out about his human form
They got split up somewhere along the way and Janus hasn't seen them since.
Considering he has hardly any knowledge of how people function in a society and also the fact that he has major trust issues for obvious reasons, he struggles to survive on the streets, having to steal and hide to survive.
He knows the men from the circus are still after him, so he's also on the run from them.
Roman saves him from two asshole guards who caught him stealing and were going to hurt him for it (imagine the scene from Aladdin where the merchant threatens to cut off Jasmine's hand for stealing)!
Patton helps to heal the wounds that Janus already has, and insists he joins their party because he's obviously injured and malnourished and Patton just wants to help him.
Janus sees this as a pretty good opportunity and joins them, but he's still increadibly wary of them and does his best to keep as much distance as possible.
He acts like an asshole to protect himself.
His backstory makes me sad.
Another infodump, haha. I apologize again.
#sanders sides#rowan rambles#rowans fantasyau#fantasy au#sanders sides au#roman sanders#remus sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#virgil sanders#janus sanders#abuse cw#cw cursing#abuse mention#janus' backstory is aad#i would say its not my fault but it kinda is because i made this au#im sorry
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hey mods! i was wondering if it was at all possible to run another poll on how frequently the events are run in the future sometime— i apologize if i’m incorrect on this, but i don’t remember ever seeing the results posted from the first one, so i was curious to know what they ended up being. i realize another event is about to start, and the ones you have given us this year have been so much fun! i appreciate all the hard work and dedication you’re putting into them, but truth be told i feel that it’s been very difficult to juggle replies when they happen so frequently. skipping them is an option, but it’s disheartening to have to do so when you have characters who need the participation if you’re interested in ranking them up.
this is just a suggestion at the end of the day— i realize i personally am not entitled to something like this if you decide against it, but i thought i would reach out because how myself and few other members seem to have been feeling lately. thank you for your time, and as always, thank you for running such a wonderful group! we appreciate all of you!
Hey anon!
This is a topic that was brought up to us recently and we ended up talking about it, but with all the anniversary stuff we forgot to post our thoughts on it, so we apologize. And so while it's a little delayed we'd like to share what we decided along with our reasoning and a little context regarding why the event schedule currently is what it is.
To begin with: at present we do not plan on changing our event schedule. We polled on frequency just before the summer, and even going into this year we had said we wished to be able to run events more often this year so we plan on continuing to uphold that promise. The last event and the new one were both new just because it was summertime, we'll be going back to reruns in between again after the new event!
If it feels like there are too many events, it may be because of reruns! When we introduced them the intention was that they would be optional for those who hadn't done them, or for those that wished to rank up quicker. The assumption was that if someone had already done the event or didn't have time that they would just skip them since it's rerun content. Unfortunately while we'd like to accommodate everyone regardless of activity levels, when it comes to things like event content it becomes a little impossible for us to do.
Reruns came about in the first place because of the opposite complaint, that events were being run too infrequently and that the ranking up process took too long because of it. It's unfortunately an issue where we're going to have members who have differing opinions on either side, but ultimately we decided we'd rather provide the extra content for the members who want it when those who don't could skip it, rather than provide less content and deprive the members who were eager to participate the chance to do so!
Even if we were to go back to the old event schedule from a couple of years ago where events were two months or more in between, we'd likely have to remove reruns altogether. We wouldn't want to only run six or less events in a year and have half of them be reused content, and this would cause additional issues since the rerun system appears to be very popular with those who weren't able to participate the first time.
That isn't to say that there won't be any changes in the future, though they might not be as extreme as you may be hoping for. For 2024 we will be rerunning the frequency poll, but we won't be going as far as to make them two months apart like the were prior to reruns. We are also discussing alternative solutions that wouldn't involve dramatically changing the schedule as well, but that's more on the table for 2024 at the moment.
In the meantime the best we can suggest is to look at curating your event activity if you feel like you need to participate! Only do one or two event threads per event, for example. It's also absolutely fine to drop old threads now and again, and doing so is a common practice in the group!
Ultimately we understand where you're coming from, but unfortunately the group is big and there are many differing viewpoints on things like this. We do hope with this post that we've helped shed some light on why things are the way they are however!
-- the island stars.
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For our last celebratory TENPAM anniversary post, I thought I'd do some character history. As you've seen, Lily's been around the longest, and I got Savvy worked out in math class the year before I started NPAM. Besides Lily's sporadically appearing parents, the first character I came up with for the strip was actually the Grub Guy.
A greasy looking fellow who has the monopoly on all pop-up shops, typically selling Grub but also seen slinging coffee, sweets, squid, stuff, and milkshakes, among other things. Over the years, we've learned that his name is Mike, he has a twin (or perhaps any number of identical siblings all with one-syllable M names), and his mom is the manager of the local grocery store. She looks just like him but with a bit more hair. Though the Grub Guy doesn't show up in the comic too often, I still think his totally blank face and superhuman franchise abilities are hilarious. The Grub guy debuted on July 13, 2013.
Just after Mike the Grub guy, Champ arrives on the scene! Everyone in his family is named after plants (his given name is Basil). When I was designing him, I was trying to go for a breezy, casual beach style. I accidentally completely designed (the yet-unnamed) Tyler, but it wasn't the right look for Champ. I pivoted at the last moment, adding the trademark hat and worn out jeans. You can see it on the far right above. Funnily enough, year later when I went back to figure out Champ's real hair, it looks a lot like those swoopy ones I started out with on the left! Champ debuted on July 23, 2013
Another side character, Bike Shorts Guy, showed up a month later! I think he's really funny in a very bizarre and inexplicable way. His main traits are his good posture and his hobby of hunting wild pastries. He has never been seen on a bike. I don't think he's been featured recently, but he always makes me laugh. Bike Shorts Guy debuted on August 31, 2013
Tyler came next. That early Champ design stayed in my mind, and so our sensitive artist showed up on the scene. He and Savvy became unlikely friends. Imagine, he could've been named Hamlet.
Tyler debuted on September 10, 2013
In eighth and ninth grade I went to school online. Eventually, every school subject had a main representative character, a sport/hobby, and a sidekick. (That's what happens when you spend two years at home and it's just you and your gel pens and workbooks). Zo was my science girl, with a bonus human, Nelly the assistant. Their pet friend was a plain cat named Kitty. Looks familiar…
(The lines under their eyes are safety goggles. My mom thought they were mustaches.)
Though I risked following the formula of every ensemble-cast comic, NPAM got its own fluffy friend, the precocious cat Herriman! He's named for George Herriman, creator of the historically iconic Krazy Kat comic. I fooled around with markings, whiskers, and noses, but ultimately made him very plain, just like Kitty. Herriman debuted January 6, 2014
I tossed out an anti-joke right around the time I was graduating high school. It was intentionally unfunny. I figured it was just a silly one-off sort of thing. I was... very wrong. Early on, I returned to the Slug every Saturday because they were an easy way to whip out that last comic as I drew them in sets of six week to week. To this day, the Slug is definitely my most popular character. The Slug debuted May 29, 2014
I had plenty of characters, so I didn't feel moved to make another until over a year later. I developed Sera Sophia and Dart at the same time, knowing they'd be best buddies, but Sera Sophia snuck into the comic a bit earlier. I wanted her to have that sort of earthy hippy fairy look. (It's pretty common around where I grew up.) Though this was way before I decided to literally make her part fairy! Sera Sophia debuted on July 6, 2015
I posit that Dart was always around the NPAM world, living his merboy life happily unobserved by the NPAM audience. Savvy, who knows all the living creatures on land and sea, has known him for ages. But she's very discreet, and never told any of the humans about him. Dart and Sera Sophia hit it off instantly, as Sera Sophia is very accepting of unusual (magical) phenomena. Dart debuted July 27, 2015
And that's our main cast! Savvy retired in 2020, and other characters have come and gone (anyone remember Kai, the Japanese fish?). This concludes our TENPAM celebration. I'd like to thank all of YOU, readers, for your continued support and kind words. I'm glad that this silly ol' comic can brighten your days. Ever onward we go!
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For Mun Reference // Verse Stuff.
This is pretty much only relevant to me and Bunny at this point but mandatory note that any threads or pinterests boards may (and probably do) contain a lot of graphic/nsfw material.
Heartverse Timeline:
First meeting ages 11/5.
Grand Line meeting: 1 year post-Marineford (late July, ages 25/20). Two nights on island. [Thread: Main]
[Thread: Chores]
[Thread: "Let's get you to bed." - Oops, tattoos, epiphanies. COMPLETE.]
Oct. 6 important announcement [Thread: Law's bday.]
[Thread: "Do you want to know what your problem is?" Ikkaku.]
Six months or so in, parent fears, worst case scenario game, and Nami finally gets into the Polar Tang's vault. [Thread: "I let you sleep."]
Nov-Dec: Rocky Port, heading east.
[Thread: Scary Mom.]
Sometime before April: marriage.
April 12: Cora-chan. ♡
July 3: Outings & baby giggles. [Thread: Nami's bday.]
October: Cora-chan 6 months old, heading back to the Grand Line.
[Thread: Jealousy]?
[Thread: Beach Day]?
Punk Hazard, Dressrosa, Zou.
[Thread: Stubborn/Injury.]
WCI, Wano, BB.
When the Great Pirate Era ends, they go back to Cocoyashi to pick up their kid and continue traveling to fulfill Nami's dream.
Heartverse Random Notes:
MOODBOARD | PINTEREST
Law and Nami have each other's vivre cards but "aren't allowed" to sit around staring at them. After she leaves to become a Straw Hat, Nami gives Law's to Robin; Law supposedly gives Nami's to Bepo.
Because they set out with the intention of staying together, they have exactly one photo of them + bb Cora. Starting on Dressrosa the pic gets bounced back and forth between parents. (Nami has it while Law's on Dressrosa, Law gets it when she goes off to WCI, Nami gets it back in Wano, Law has it afterwards.)
Law knows Nami can take care of herself but might or might not make sure Zoro receives a consistent stream of booze as a bribe/added precaution.
Nami Drabbles: First pregnancy suspicions ||
Law Drabbles: Nami's first night on the Polar Tang || pregnancy announcement introspection, ???
Kids: Three, eventually. Cora, who's her father's lookalike minus the button nose and big smiles. She is every bit as sneaky and stubborn as both of them. Law's medical knowledge and deadpan snark, Nami's ability to pick pockets. May or may not have been conceived in the middle of a jewelry store heist on the first night Law and Nami met up in the Grand Line (oops.) Atlas (march 6th) is much the same in appearance and mannerisms, but serves as something of a tactful middle-man between his two very different sisters. The "planned" child years after the events of the Great Pirate Era come to an end and they decide they want a second - takes month of trying to conceive. Umi is Nami's little lookalike minus the golden eyes, but she's softspoken and timid in ways neither parent understands. Has Nami's innate ability to read and understand weather phenomena - the two of them often leave Law, Cora, and Atlas looking on the sidelines like "what are they talking about?" Not quite Irish twins with Atlas, but a definitely unplanned conception shortly after his birth. Cora and Atlas are Little Shits™ who think they can get away with things, but A ) Law and Nami have done it all and nothing gets past them + B ) Umi can't tell a lie and all either of them have to do is ask if her siblings did something to get her to crack.
Tangerine Twists Random Notes:
MOODBOARD | PINTEREST
Threads: Main
Nami stays a marine. They get progressively less subtle with their relationship as time goes on despite Nami's rising in the ranks. Post-Wano they don't even bother trying to keep it a secret.
Godverse Random Notes:
MOODBOARD. | PINTEREST
Threads: Main
Kids: Tama (adopted). Atlas and Umi follow exist in Godverse as well with the same features/personalities as in Heartverse.
Mikan Meadows Random Notes:
MOODBOARD. | PINTEREST
Threads: Main
Timeline: First meeting end of summer/early fall as the temperatures start to change. He comes around frequently while waiting for a lost soul to make its peace and then they fall into a pattern of regularly scheduled meetings (weekly? monthly?) By winter these move from outdoor locations (beach, graveyard, etc.) to a cabin in the woods.
New Year celebration/dance.
Panic, guilt, backpedaling, angst.
Spring wedding.
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Text
The Bride In Black P54 - 56
Media IRL
Character Thomas Brodie Sangster
Couple Thomas X Reader
Rating Sweet + Flirty
Concept The Bride In Black Series
Once we arrived I parked up and grabbed my stuff a little nervous to wake him as he has fallen asleep during the journey.
"Thomas?"
"Hum? Oh. We there?"
"Yes we are."
"Ah. Sorry darling" he yawns climbing out and having a stretch "how long was I asleep?"
"About three hours?"
"Oh. That explains why I'm so hungry."
"Come on then we'll get take out"
"Take out? That where we snipe someone?"
"No Thomas just. Just come"
"Isn't it usually me telling you that darling"
"Shut up and walk Thomas or this is going to be a very long eternity for you." I told him hurrying up to my apartment and he followed behind me trying not to get lost, I opened it up seeing the pile of post on the floor and the general state I left the place in. I let him inside and shut the door up a little nervous as he looked around the place "so…"
"This is your apartment?"
"Yes."
"This is where you loved before we met?"
"Yes."
"... I like it."
"You do?"
"Yeah. It's cosy. Very you my darling" he smiled giving my cheek a kiss "this the only bed?"
"Yep"
"Why is it in the living room?"
"It's a studio apartment Thomas there like that"
"I see. The bathroom has a wall right?"
"Wall but no door."
"How much rent do you pay?"
"23."
"That's kinda-"
"Thousand"
"Excuse me?"
"23,000 per two months"
"....... You - you don't even have a fireplace!"
"I know"
"Oh my darling" he Cooes hugging me tightly giving me a million kisses "when we get home I will let.you decorate and renovate however you want"
"Really?'
"Yes. You need it after living in this."
"Thank you" I smiled taking our stuff to the bedroom and immediately he came and laid in the bed
"I already miss home"
"Aww my apartment that bad?"
"No. I'll get use to it" he laughed pulling me into bed with him "besides I have you to keep me cosy" he smiled giving me a kiss "also you haven't been here since before the wedding have you?"
"No."
"Yeah. Just… vampire senses. And I'm telling you. A throwaway that whole fridge nothing can be saved. B your gonna wanna rewash that laundry. And C… I think your bathroom has mold. Or damp"
"Oh. Thank you"
"Your welcome." He smiled "also did you have any… smutty little toys?"
"I might have' I blushed
"Yeah I know where they are too then"
"How?"
"Vampire senses."
"Or you being a pervert"
"You are the first girlfriend I've done anything physical with in over six hundred years give me some credit for being a horny little bastard."
"No" I giggled giving him a kiss
I hurried back to my apartment having gone shopping for things while we were here, I unlocked the door and headed inside seeing Thomas folding laundry
"Hello sweetie" I smiled
"Hello darling" he cooes "How was shopping?"
"Very good"
"did you get everything?"
"I did and I got you a present from the discounted Halloween section"
"Ohhh a present!" he smiled bolting over "what did my lovely darling buy me?"
"Blood pack" I smiled handing over the little blood bag
"Ohhh they sell this in stores?"
"Around Halloween" I smiled
"thank you very much my love" he cooes giving my cheek a kiss and immediately bitting through the plastic to drink the blood he took a couple of slurps before he stopped and glared at me taking it from his mouth. "this is no blood. I have ever tasted."
"It's a blood bag" I giggled
"if this is what people's blood tastes like now people have a sugar problem"
"Well... yes. but it's candy Thomas"
"Oh. I was excited for blood" he sighed "not for candy"
"I'm sorry Thomas"
"It's fine. can I maybe have some real blood tonight?"
"If you're good"
I sat in bed flipping though my magazine all the while my spare hand was in my lap stroking his soft hair, Thomas had a bath earlier and was now laid in his boxers and a little shirt across the bed with his head in my lap often pressing little kisses to my thighs if ever I stopped stroking his hair he'd whine, if ever I tried to move my hand away he pout and move my hand back.
"You are such a baby"
"Why?"
"That I have to keep sitting here Petting you"
"But I'm cosy. And I wanna spend time snuggled with my beautiful darling"
"Ummm"
"Umm?"
"Ummm. I'm suspicious of you"
"Your always suspicious of me"
"Your an immortal vampire with various superhuman abilities I never trust you. I don't know what you know"
"You accept I know everything it's going to be a much easier eternity for you being married to me"
"I suppose" I giggled stroking his hair some more "Thomas?"
"Yes my darling?"
"You being nuzzled in my lap constantly has nothing to do with me being on a period does it?"
".... No." He answered sheepishly
"Thomas?" I warn
"I uhh I didn't even know you -"
"There is blood leaking out of me your a vampire don't you dare tell me you didn't know"
"I may have known"
"May have? Says the man who knew what room I was in Inside a mansion based on smell of my blood alone"
"And your body heat" he adds
"Who knew I had cut my hand from literally two feet away"
"Fine I know"
"I knew it"
"To be fair I knew since yesterday'
"How it only started this morning?"
"No the blood only came out of you this morning it started yesterday I know I can smell it in your hormones. And the actual blood. And your boobs are perky, your boobs always get perky around a period'
"Not that you notice?"
"I observe my darling" he Cooes
"That's why your nuzzled in my lap isn't it?'
"Kinda. That and your lap is cosy. I like being cuddled up with my lovely darling wife. But yes the fact your bleeding does make me feel nice down here"
"Why?"
"... Image your at a fancy restaurant. And there is a beautiful chocolate fountain that smells of gorgeous chocolate. You wanna sit on the table next to the fountain so you can smell the deliciousness or do you wanna sit by the window where's it's cold lonely and you only get little hints of that beautiful chocolate smell"
"Fair enough" I laughed
"Speaking of which"
"Ummm?"
"Maybe I… taste the chocolate fountain?"
'that's gross Thomas"
"What! It's going to go in the bin anyway! I could always help clean up" he suggested kissing my thighs "I promise it'll make me darling feel much better"
"No Thomas"
"Please. It smells so good"
"No Thomas. That's final"
"Fine." He sighed sitting up his hair now a mess "can I drink from somewhere else then?"
"Your not supposed to you know" I remind him "you where meant to wait till we where married till we mated"
"But I can't help it. My human wife tastes so good"
"I'll think about it"
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