I should not have fucking watched fionna and cake my fucking need to have what simon and betty have is literally having a negative impact on my mental health GOD DAMMIT I KNOW I WANT TO BE HELD YOU DONT HAVE TO REMIND ME

So does he, Gallagher.

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omg fem jally⁉️⁉️

im sorry

"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.

When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings

THEM.

helloooo ridi. I have been thinking about young r/s a lot and I know that you describe them (especially s) as being "strange" about the other before they ever talked about their feelings and I wanted to ask if you had any examples that come to mind

hiiii love!! yah absolutely!! predicting my own too-long rambling response 2 this by adding a cut straight away but. i do have thoughts :^)

obviously usual disclaimer that this is. speculation this is my headcanon and in answering im probably going to take for granted a lot of insights into the general mwpp dynamic that other people might (and are free to) disagree with xx but for me personally!! i am one for them always sensing that their feelings towards each other r a little strange compared to their other friendships within the group long before they manage to identify romantic feelings from platonic ones or just generally understand what it is they feel for each other. n im going to go mostly with s here because i think a good way of laying it out is by contrasting it with the way i view his dynamic with j, although for the record i definitely imagine r to always feel a little strange towards s too.

i do genuinely think s loved j in a way that is perhaps. pointless to label as either platonic or romantic but in a way that was very different to the way he felt about r and i think. that difference at first is all he's aware of. he meets j and they are a double-act they're a two-headed monster they're each other's phantom limb they're thick as thieves they're more than brothers but i think immediately his dynamic and his closeness with r are very different and thus strange to him. they are not a double-act. he does not always know what r is thinking (although he wants to). their intimacy feels strange because it is not intimacy as a product of like. familiarity or similarity the way his intimacy with james is (horribly clumsy way of wording that but hopefully you can make some sense of it). i wouldn't necessarily go as far as to call them opposites because i think in a lot of ways they aren't, at all, but to me it is the difference between sitting next to someone at a table (j) and sitting across from them (r).

and i think the uncertainty when it comes 2 his relationship with r and his feelings about r mean that he sort of craves it more yknow (especially because he. unconsciously thinks a close relationship with r is infinitely worth earning). he seeks it out. r can make him uncomfortable and he likes that. i think he would go out of his way to make r laugh i think he would get a certain sense of triumph out of accomplishing it that he wouldnt look for/need with james. r's general aura of strange wistfulness and melancholy also contributes to this (and this is partly why i hesitate to position them as opposites) because although their experiences are so so different there is an understanding of. suffering? trauma? whatever you would like to call it that s can get from r that james (although he is very loving) just cannot provide because he has not experienced that. the discussions he has with r are not the same ones he has with j. the fact that r is more difficult to get close 2 and to make smile etc makes s want to try harder to accomplish it. and he wouldnt necessarily recognise that in himself but i do think if he tells a joke and everyone laughs he is conscious of the fact that he gets the most reward from having made r laugh. and not only that but he wants the person who makes r laugh to be him.

i do also think he is just. softer about r. whether or not he realizes it or whether he thinks his softness is just a result of r seeming more melancholy to him than the others/post-lycanthropy discovery just feeling the need (rightly or wrongly) to be more protective over him. like they are twelve n s will playfight and roughhouse j all day for fun but with r he will only ever. pretend to do it or mime doing it or do it very gently not just because r is generally in worse health but also because the idea of accidentally actually hurting r is genuinely very distressing to him. also touching him a lot probably also make s' stomach hurt and makes him go all sweaty and light-headed for reasons he doesn't want to explore. idk i am sure this has gotten far too long by now but i think. the strangeness is best felt by both of them when comparing how they feel about each other with how they feel about their other friends. its an intimacy that does not even resemble anything brotherly or familial and at their young age that is what they think it means to be friends with someone. it is not comparable with anyone else it is not as easily labelled it is full of hesitations and private moments and give and take and it trembles and it shapeshifts and it doesn't let anyone else in. there is essentially a private joke between them, except neither of them are in on it.

why otto is so pissed off at subaru (arc 8 ch 24)

hello im otto posting Again but im writing this in an attempt to understand this subject myself (and totally not as a reference for later…) and also bc some people in the fandom seemed to be confused on Why ottos so angry at the moment. but i really think the key reason why hes so mad at subaru right now comes from this: otto treasures the people he cares about far above anyone else—to the point where if he needs to make sacrifices, he absolutely will because the people he cares about (his friends in emilia camp) go First before everyone else in his mind.

like. thats ottos key reason for everything hes been doing in arc 8. all his other reasoning branches off from that—like him wanting to leave vollachia for dead and only take the people his camp cares about. otto sees the path that will keep his camp safest—ie just going into vollachia to rescue rem and subaru and then immediately getting out—and he chooses that rather than subaru and emilias more noble approach of refusing to leave vollachia and its population of 50 million people to die. otto himself is aware that his own strategy is Callous, especially after roswaal told him in chapter 24 that he agrees with ottos proposed strategy of just leaving vollachia. but otto thinks that its 1. entirely necessary and 2. he Knows that thats the optimal way to keep the emilia camp safe.

he knows that staying in vollachia and helping vincent is a massive risk to his whole camp. otto being a merchant values equivalent exchange and Hates too much cost, which is On Top of otto knowing that going out of their way to help vollachia is risking the entire emilia camp’s lives. but otto Knows subaru and emilia. and he knows that subaru and emilia are idealists at heart that will do everything they can to save Everyone, which is why despite being Extremely Unhappy about all of this, otto plays hard to get so vincent is the one who asks for their help. that way, at least the decision to help vollachia looks more like accepting the request of vollachias emperor and adding more accomplishments under their belt and Less Like just going out of their way to vollachia for no benefit at all.

otto valuing his camp above everything else is also why he creates distance between himself and julius and anastasia and emphasizes that theyre enemies. for otto, its Absolutely the emilia camp above everyone else.

then theres the whole louis situation. otto, of course, knows that subaru cares about louis Despite everything shes done.

so. essentially. i think ottos extremely pissed about subaru always going out of his way to try and be a hero because otto knows this comes at a Detriment to subaru (bc otto CARES about subaru!!! he knows subaru is WAY too selfless and forgiving and he cant agree with that!!!) and otto worries for the cost of subarus decisions, especially with the current conflict regarding louis. otto has accepted that, unlike the majority of his camp, that he has to be the Bad Guy. because in ottos mind, no one else in his camp is going to be bold enough to be the ruthless morally questionable one. he thinks its 100% necessary to play this role to minimize the costs and threats to his camp.

which is why he hasnt told anyone, despite knowing this from his dp, that louis/spica is innocent.

hes fully aware that—even though hes manipulating his own camp—louis will be more likely to be eliminated if he keeps quiet about the fact that she has Zero malice. louis being eliminated means one less threat to his camp. and otto KNOWS that subaru cares about louis and is upset at the idea of her dying (which is at least partly why otto snapped at julius in chapter 23!!), but ottos decided that killing louis comes at a far less cost than keeping her alive. because keeping her alive means dealing with the consequences of the emilia camp calling her an ally and rem and subaru recognizing her as their daughter when louis has affected So Many people. otto knows this and wants to prevent it at all costs.

otto wants her dead for these reasons. otto figures that he has to be the one walking in darkness bc he not only wants to help emilia and subaru and preserve their idealism (bc he Knows that its important to them!! its who they are at heart and he cares about them in turn bc of their kindness and goodness!!!), but otto also wants to help by being the necessary evil. because someone has to.

that, of course, wont stop otto from being pissed at subarus decisions. this also, of course, wont stop subaru from being pissed if he ever finds out otto withheld the fact that he knows louis is 100% innocent just so he can make sure that 1. the rest of emilia camp stays suspicious of louis and 2. louis gets killed. i really do think ottos questionable decisions will eventually catch up to him—because he stands in direct opposition to everything subaru stands for.

subaru wants to save everyone. he wants to have it all, even if it costs him. otto, meanwhile, chooses only who he cares about because hes not idealistic enough to believe he can have everything, and he believes that sacrifices have to be made even if its cruel. and he knows that subaru cant do that, but it still angers him because hes trying to keep subaru safe while subaru insists on trying to accomplish everything without sacrificing anyone. otto doesnt think its possible at all. but otto knows its not in subarus nature to be pragmatic.

which is why otto takes A Lot of the things subaru has been doing in arc 8 Extremely Personally. because its Very personal for otto.

the progression of events in this arc is so so good and great and i love how you can just clearly see where and how each characters thoughts begin and progress throughout each chapter as it goes on. while steven was probably set in stone about his view on how to handle the situation i earnestly believe zed and zapp set out to disobey steven's request. and then they make it very easy to understand leo's point of view and why hes doing what he is - its why they show us that flashback and don't tell anyone else, and why he speaks very little after zapp threatens him - and then immediately cuts to klaus, who knows absolutely nothing about the situation currently but he can figure it out just by looking at whats in front of him. and because klaus is so unflinching when it comes to upholding what he believes is morally right he does so without anyone needing to tell him whats going on. he sees this percieved 'monster' protecting someone else and immediately goes to protect it, too. and even though a lot of them disagreed with each other at the beginning there is still the scene afterwards where they all come together to try and catch each other when they begin falling. i think nightow should pay me for what its done to my mental health

playing in stars and time isnt enough anymore i need to eat it.

Would you stop andrew hussie from ever creating homestuck if given the chance?

nope!! i know homestuck has its problems and some parts of it have aged like milk but i still think its a great webcomic with a big narrative value .. plus it has fundamentally changed me as a person and many of the friends i have now both online and irl i met thanks to it!! so while it might have some issues i still wouldnt have stopped hussie from ever creating it

13, trying to prevent yaz from spiralling when they get separated: i need you to do a deepdive into eschatology

reminder.