#I can't believe for a split second I was scared to admit that this is why homophobes shouldn't be allowed to force religion on kids
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The library | short little story thing. |
The library was usually a comfort for the battery, but today it felt off.
The building was still its mostly silent self, the rows of different books mostly the same from what they could tell aside from the few books that had been taken out or swapped with another since the last time she was here, and despite how big the place was it was usually quite a cozy place, especially near the back where they were, at a table only she and a few of her friends liked to sit at.
"Hey, you zoning out? Wow, how you ever got a job is beyond me with your spacey personality." The voice of his charger plug cousin, C____, told her in their usual teasing manner beside him as they put their hands down on the table to lean onto it before sliding into a chair opposite him and using their elbows.
"..." ____ stared with a deadpan look, not wanting to suffer through their antics. This was what had felt off, C___ hadn't spoken to her since they had roped ___ into one of their dumb schemes. C____'s smile slowly dropped, and they leaned back in their chair.
"Gee, you're just SOOO ecstatic to see me, and on a day off from work too! I... Thought you'd wanna hang out with me seeing as it's been really long..." C____ looked away. "...What.. Christ, what happened to us? We used to be good friends!"
____ was very aware of where this was headed, he just hoped it wasn't something that bad as guilt won over the logical part of his brain. She sighed, leaning back in her chair as she shut the book she had been reading.
"Alright, C____, we can hang out, what did you want to do? " the feeling of regret almost disappeared at the sight of the bright and excited smile their cousin gave.
"Okay, so I had an idea you might actually be up for this time..."
----
The being contemplated the thoughts and memories that didn't count as theirs as they continued on.
Walking through the darkened halls with broken ceiling lights and wallpaper that was once once white and slowly being covered in burns, blood, and other things that would permanently damage this soon to be closed off wing of the facility, the thing that once might have been referred to as an object slowly stepped, as if the actions were foreign to it.
The only light in the area belonging to this strange thing's unreal features created by their new abilities, pure electricity jumped along their face in certain shapes to poorly mimic a face, the electricity also jumping out from where arms would have been, the controlled lightning zapping things carelessly as it writhed and jolted, going from multiple veins of electricity to one at random as it followed the beings commands, on one end of the lightning a rubber glove was somehow attached, and gripping a twisting snake like thing with unnatural strength.
The being stopped, thinking for a moment on their conversation with C____ and that being of power. The supercharged object turned slightly to the still moving thing in her hand, loud and painful static coming from the always moving fake mouth until slowly it began to form words.
"###...#.######... W.....WWW....WANNT...TOOO...MAAKE... A...GAME.. SHOW.WITH ME?"
---
End.
@too-many-hyperfixations hey yeah can we make an Ethel tag cause like Battery-O has one so why not Ethel?
Anyways TY for reading this!! Just a lil object OC lore of mine because yes!! Hoped you enjoyed it!!! It was fun to write.
I'm gonna get back to EYE phone AU stuff if I can, have a good one!!!
Xol
P.S: I'm not telling you his full lore yet because yes.
#Battery-O#object ocs#xolmumbles#object show oc#Object show#Battery-O goes by all pronouns#I can't believe for a split second I was scared to admit that this is why homophobes shouldn't be allowed to force religion on kids#That shit fucked me up for life >:(
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For You (Gojo x Reader)
What if you were sealed instead of Gojo?
CW: Shibuya Incident spoilers, angst, not canonically accurate (just roll with it for the plot it doesn't have to make complete sense), swearing, so much angst
Part Two | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation
Gojo knew that you were strong. He wouldn't have fallen in love with you out of fear if he didn't trust completely in your ability to return to him.
But that was before.
Before the shell of someone the two of you once knew and loved appeared.
Before he allowed himself to be distracted for a split second.
Before you noticed what was happening and shoved him out of the way.
Before you stood in front of him, hands bound behind your back, body rendered immobile.
"Well, this is an interesting development."
Not-Suguru clapped his hands together.
"Oh well, this will do too. Actually, we just managed to nab the strongest's only weakness: his love."
"Who are you?"
You snarl, glaring at your former friend.
"Why, I'm Geto Suguru. Don't you remember me? I'm wounded."
"Bull. Shit."
All Gojo can do is stare blankly at you, and pray that this isn't happening. That one of his worst nightmares isn't playing out in front of him.
"I know damn well that Suguru would never go out of his way to hurt us. He may have hated non-sorcerers, but even at the end he held no hostility towards us. So I'll ask you again. Who are you?"
"Satoru."
Gojo jumped a little, but quickly smoothed his expression over as you used one of your techniques to communicate telepathically with him.
"You need to run."
No! He wanted to scream. There has to be another option.
You continue taunting and yelling at the creature inhabiting your friend's body, and Gojo realizes that you are desperately stalling for time.
"Listen, I know you don't want to. But right now, you can't do anything for me without putting yourself in serious danger. I'm expendable."
Not to him, you aren't. For you, he would tear apart the world with his bare hands. For you, there wasn't a risk he wouldn't take. He has to find a way out of this. For you. Because there was no world where you were fucking expendable to him.
"You need to run! Now! I don't know how much time you have, but I know you can make it outside. You are the strongest after all. Run. Regroup with the others."
He knows that what you are saying makes logical sense, but he still can't wrap his mind around it.
Then you spoke again.
"No one should be allowed to take youth away from young people. That's what we agreed, right? So go. Do it for our kids. Protect their youth. For them. For our dream. For me."
Quietly, oh so quietly, he says something.
"I'm scared."
He admits, so quiet you can scarcely hear him.
"I'm not."
Your tone is gentle and loving.
"You aren't abandoning me forever. This is only temporary. I know that no matter what happens, you will get me out of here. Not because you're the strongest or anything. Because you love me, and I love you. And nothing can keep us apart, 'kay?"
Moving as much as your restraints would allow you, you turn your head the tiniest bit so you can look at him.
"Go. Go save our kids. I believe in you. I'll see you soon my love."
Holding back tears, Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer alive did the unthinkable.
Turning away from you and speeding up and out of the train station was the hardest thing he ever did, and will ever do.
But he did it.
For your many (unofficially) adopted children.
For your shared dream.
For you.
Always for you.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
This physically pained me to write, but it was taking up WAY too much of my brain space lol. Let me know what you think, and feel free to send in any requests you have!
#angst so much angst i cant#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru x reader angst#jjk x reader#jjk x reader angst#jjk fanfic#shibuya incident#gojo adopted all of those kids i dont care WHAT you have to say about it#im so sleep deprived#lee's brain writes
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Friends to lovers + sexual tension tropes: Charlie's wrist is injured but he needs to shave so he asks reader for help. Have fun!
Close Shave
I’m a slut for this kind of thing tyvm
Okay sidenote but this turned out so much cuter than I anticipated
"Careful now..."
You're rolling your eyes, retracting the razor in your hand from his stubbled cheek. "Don't be such a baby, Charlie. I know what I'm doing," you tease the apprehensive man. "I do have some experience in the shaving department, you know."
He mumbles, "Yeah well, that's why I asked."
"Still can't believe you managed to slip on that ice on your porch—even after I told you to do something about it no less! Said somebody was gonna get hurt. Now here you are, wrist sprained—more irritable than ever—and too helpless to even shave your own face."
Charlie's gaze meets your own and for once you feel something brewing in the pit of your stomach. Staring into his eyes, fingers grazing along the side of his jawline—you could never deny he was a handsome guy.
"I mean really, Charlie. What would you do without me?" There's a wide grin accompanying your lighthearted words.
"Yeah yeah," he scoffs, "Just get on with it will ya?"
There's the familiar look that manages to flash across his face for but a split second. The one that has his brows furrowing, eyes rolling back. The one that cautions you to cut your shit. A look you've seen from him far too often.
It wasn't like you didn't know what you were signing up for when you accepted this strange task of his. The two of you were close friends after all. Stuck through nearly the worst of each other throughout the years you'd known him.
Yet something felt different about this.
The way you were standing with him in the middle of his bathroom. How still he stayed while your hands caressed the sides of his cheek, faces so close his cologne felt dizzying. The way his lips seemed to naturally form a frown, eyebrows furrowing, whenever he was contemplating something.
Shit—you had to admit the sprouting grey hairs lining that beard of his were making you feel some type of way. A way that had you questioning your morals. Maybe your entire friendship. And like it didn't help when your thigh brushed against his anytime you moved in closer.
"How close of a cut do you want?" You ask, stepping back for a moment to snatch the shaving cream—and to calm yourself.
"Just keep the mustache."
"Should have guessed," you tease, lathering your hands, "Wouldn't want to frighten the guys at the station."
This comment earns you a small chuckle.
"Might scare you too," he adds.
You're smiling, nodding your head as you once again place the now lathered palms of your hands against the sides of his face. It's surprising to you just how soft his skin feels despite the stubble—which frames his jawline so nicely. You even find yourself sulking over how much of a shame it is to shave it off.
Gradually your laughter dissolves into a gentle silence that fills the air. You're impossibly close now—closer than you already had been—eyes locked together, breath fanning against his cheek. You're tight lipped, eyes darting down to focus as you begin to press the edge of the sharp razor to his skin.
An outstretched arm reaches out, hand clasping the edge of the counter in front of you. Charlie lets out a long sigh, eyes pursed shut, "Careful," he willfully reminds you.
"I thought you trusted me."
"Yeah well that was before you held a razor up to me."
"You asked me to do this, remember? You don't wanna back out now that I've already started."
Cue another drawn out sigh.
"Suppose not."
"Now try not to move so I don't nick you."
Charlie grumbles compliantly.
The first swipe you take is slow and cautious—the blade scraping down the bristles lining one side of his cheek. A breathy gasp slips past his lips—a sound that may or may not have caused your heart rate to spike. Or heat to pool in the pit of your stomach and your face for that matter.
"You doin' okay?"
"Of course." One swipe. "What's up?" Another.
"Just checking in."
You hum out something of a response, turning to the sink to run the razor under water before swiftly wiping it on a towel. "How're you holding up?" You ask, pressing the blade to his skin once more.
"Just fine," he answers before adding in a, "So far."
"Whatever you say." You're smiling to yourself—you can't help it when he's teasing you.
"You almost done yet?"
Heaving a small sigh, you take a swipe close to his chin. "No," you respond.
"I'd be done by now."
"Want me to rush?" You threaten.
Charlie laughs, "Take all the time you need," voice low in your ear.
You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding in.
"That tickles."
Heat flushes to your cheeks once more. "Suck it up," you advise, breath fanning the crook of his neck.
Another chuckle exits his lips and you can feel it rumble from deep within his chest. "Not pulling any punches today, huh?" Charlie says, tilting his head back to allow you more access as the razor begins to drag underneath his jawline.
"Afraid so."
For a second you look up to catch the smirk playing at the corners of his mouth and you find yourself briefly lost in the way his teeth ever so slightly rake against the bottom of his lip. Merely a second and somehow you manage to press just hard enough to cut his skin.
"Dammit—!" Charlie winces, pressing a hand to the wound.
"Oh shit—! I'm sorry!"
It's a small nick. Nothing intense. But that doesn't stop you from panicking.
"I'm really sorry...I didn't mean to—!" You stammer, urgently turning around to grab a damp towel—
—before stumbling backwards.
But Charlie manages to pull you to him, holding you securely to his chest so that you’re trapped between him and the counter, faces mere inches away. “Careful, sweetheart,” he nearly whispers, “Don’t need you all hurt too.”
If only he weren’t so damn smooth.
Because now you’re left absolutely breathless.
“Let’s finish up, huh?” Charlie suggests, brushing your hair away from your face.
“Good call,” you manage to say.
#team charlie#charlie swan#charlie swan x reader#my writing#twilight#twilight renaissance#charlie swan deserves better#request#kinda projecting bc i also recently injured myself#but like in the most uncool way lemme tell you that popping your kneecap out of place while getting in the tub is not fun#certified uncool moment
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What can I offer for another part of Small Switch? A feemor? My tibia? The skull of a questionable sourced Shaman?
Honestly, I loved that little fic! The subtle differences in the characters from their original selves, but they still kept the integrity of their characters! 10/10 fic!
~ Deuteronomy
Ngl I had massive brainworms from this and had to write a second part. Previous part here
After the little incident, Soap took a while to calm down. He hadn't necessarily been angry, even though no one believed me. He'd rather die than suffer through the humiliation of admitting Simon scared him.
Simon. Cute little guy who bleached his hair and didn't talk about himself much and apparently walked silently. Every time he made a sound was on purpose. For Soap he was now realizing. Probably other guys too, but around him specifically, he was always extra loud. Soap had considered it annoying. A sign that he was too comfortable around him. But now he realized it for his comfort.
It set him on edge. Ghost could sneak up on him any time. An unnerving presence that Soap just didn't pick up. How terrifying.
How... weirdly attractive.
All of these feelings made Simon's expression that much worse. The way he laid on the floor, blood smeared on the bottom half of his face, eyes wide and vacant. It bounced around his skull to remind him how awful he was. How much of a monster.
And the worst part?
Soap wanted to apologize.
To Ghost.
The FNG.
He always did when he forgot himself. Usually clearly forced. Apologies were said through gritted teeth full of something just to the left of hate and down from malice.
But he wanted to this time. Wanted to ask Simon to forgive him. As if that was possible.
Soap sat in Price's office, leg shaking. They weren't speaking. Didn't have to. Price could yell and scream all he wanted, but they both knew Soap couldn't change his fear response. That it was Ghost's fault for getting comfortable. For thinking sneaking up on him was okay.
Price would still make him apologize.
His phone buzzed and Price checked it, huffing like he saw something amusing. He flipped the screen around to show Soap Simon's bright and smiling face. His face had been cleaned and his lip clearly wasn't as bad as Soap originally thought. Simon also had his hand on shot, giving a thumbs up.
"Just a few bruises, he's fine. You can stop moping now, Soap."
Soap sighed. "I... didn't mean to. He just startled me." Johnny had turned around, ready to talk. To find something to fill the space between them. But there wasn't enough space between them. If Soap had leaned back, his head would've touched Simon's stomach.
Too close.
Far too close.
Simon's hair still felt so soft in his fingers.
Soap had taken his gloves off to feel the heat from his mug. Just one less layer between them.
"MacTavish." Price broke his thoughts gently. "What's going on between you two?"
"Nothing." Soap told the truth. "Unfortunately. You know why I can't Price."
"Rules."
"That too. I guess."
Price clearly was thinking something over and then he chose his words carefully. "If... something did happen... as long as I was sure it was... consensual, I'd look the other way."
Soap nodded. "I understand, sir. But it won't."
"And why not?" Price said it as a friend.
Soap sighed. "He's... too good. Too... soft and squishy."
"He's built like a brickhouse and benches more than anyone here."
"His insides I mean."
Price grimaced. "You know the drill, Soap. Go apologize for hurting him. Try to make it genuine."
Soap nodded and stalked off, sure to add angry flourish so the rookies would rush off.
Simon had already went to his room apparently. He was still a sergeant so he stayed with the rest of them. It bothered Soap a little. Made more sense for everyone in a taskforce to be together.
Funnily enough, this never bothered him when it was just Gaz. But now they were split in half and it was just messy.
Simon was chatting with someone. They looked friendly.
"Sergeant Riley." Soap spoke coldly, watching the other person jump. Both of them fell into formation. Like Soap might scold them otherwise. "Take a walk with me."
Simon nodded and grabbed his gloves, slipping them on as they walked. Skeleton print.
"Don't suppose that's because you're a fan of me?"
"My brother got them for me." Simon smiled at him. Like nothing had happened.
Soap tried to piece together a decent apology. Just saying I'm sorry did not seem like enough.
"I'm sorry for scaring you. I will admit, I lied in there. I was hoping to impress you. I know better. Used to scare everyone on my last base like that. I never... wanted to scare you." Simon looked down at him. His eyes were so big and brown. So soft.
Soap shook his head. "it's fine. It wasn't an excuse for me to hurt you. I actually came here to apologize."
The space between them was back. There were no words to fill it.
"You have any more jokes?" Soap asked him.
Ghost hummed. "What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?"
"What kind?"
"A lamborghini."
Soap made sure his smile could reach his eyes. Simon smiled back.
Too much space.
He wanted to feel his hair between his fingers.
Where Soap was being extremely dramatic, Simon was calm. It was his fault. But he hadn't really been scared of Soap. Soap just... reminded him of someone else when it happened.
Simon held up his hand, making sure Soap could see it, before he put it on his shoulder and squeezed.
"I love working with you, sir." Simon smiled, acting like he didn't just sink his claws into Soap and fill him with warmth.
He stepped away like he had done nothing.
Left Soap with a cold feeling where his hand should be.
-
"You cannot be serious, Soap." Gaz asked, grimacing. "Why can't you handle this by yourself? Or take Price?"
Soap noticed Gaz did not volunteer himself for torture duty. While yes, Soap could do this himself, standard protocol was two people. Price trusted his judgement on this since this was his area of expertise. Gaz was efficient. Soap knew his test scores blew everyone's out of the water. But Simon had never been part of this type of interrogation if his records were accurate. Soap wanted to see what he was working with.
Plus, if it scared Simon away from him for a bit, win win. Simon had gotten comfortable again. Now that he knew Johnny would let him, he touched him casually all the time. It drove him crazy and people noticed. A rookie had joked that Simon touching people was almost as rare as Soap getting touched and now the thought that he was somehow special kept echoing in his head.
"It's okay, Gaz. I went through the same training. I promise to follow everything as I'm ordered to." Simon smiled. He had fucking dimples. The bastard. He looked cute while offering to torture someone with Soap. Treated it with the same respect as if they were going grocery shopping.
Soap tried to convince himself he hoped this would knock him down a peg.
"Start by getting him scared. Rough him up a bit. I'll be right out of his sight." It was a scare tactic. People recognized Soap's mask, so when they dealt with whatever and then saw him, they folded. Usually.
Simon nodded. "So I just... hurt him, right?"
"Yep. If you cut him," Soap really doubted it, "Make sure he doesn't bleed out. Erases the point. I'll stop you if I think you're going to go too far. As long as you slap him around, we'll be fine."
Ghost stepped in the room. His posture straightened and it was clear he was trying to look intimidating.
Soap stood where the guy couldn't see him. He watched him with interest as Simon circled the table of things before settling on a knife. He did a fancy little trick with it before he turned to the man and rolled up the guy's sleeves. Simon pulled a chair and sat down like he was going to give the man a tattoo.
Soap watched, in both growing horror and growing attraction, as Simon slowly and painstakingly made cuts into his skin. None of them bled much as Simon avoided the bloodier parts of the meat.
"Where did you learn that?"
"From 14 to 18, I worked as a butcher. Got real knowledge about knives and meat. That's all we are. Go past the skin and we're not too different from cows."
Simon lifted his head to look at the man who recoiled from his face.
Soap's felt the air rush out of his lungs.
His eyes were lidded, something heady in his eyes. There was a nothingness to his features that made the stern expression from early look nice.
The man's breath sped up and he cringed back even further.
Soap stepped in and got the man to confess. Didn't take much more than pressing the already precision made cuts but he kept glancing at Ghost across the room. He stared like the man was a devil.
Seeing him in this lighting casting dark shadows down his face and the loose empty expression, he looked the part.
Soap gave a standard mission report, leaving out that Simon did almost everything.
Funnily enough, so did Simon's. He described it as informative.
Soap felt like he was being fucked with. He missed something. Clearly Simon was hiding something.
-
One night, after the 141 had went drinking, Soap took Ghost back to his room. The poor Brit was stumbling and holding on to Soap to keep standing.
"Didn't expect you to be such a lightweight."
"Had drank in a few years. I lose the ability to say no." Ghost smiled.
Soap understood the joke. Ghost was flirty. Or maybe horny was a better word. But something about it didn't land right. Made him feel weird.
Ghost tried to open his door and found it locked. He checked for his key and came up empty.
"Fuck. I must've dropped it." Simon looked at him. "What should I do?"
Soap pulled a lockpick he kept on himself out and got to work.
"Why do you carry that?"
"In case I get captured."
Simon did not press. He just nodded and smiled liked Soap had done something funny. Drunkenly, he watched Soap unlock his door and pull him inside.
"There. Now, sleep this off. You still need to be up bright and early."
"Gonna miss me if I'm not?" Simon asked, looking at him a little too seriously. He slipped off his gloves. Soap was very aware of the fact the door was open.
"I'm going to ignore your insubordination this once, Riley. Go to bed."
Simon groaned softly and his head fell back. "Don't be like that. I know we're friends." He slipped his jacket off his shoulders. It revealed his arms and Soap felt like Victorian woman seeing those shoulders get unraveled. Simon rolled his shoulders.
"Don't do friends."
Simon glared at him. That heady, dark look came back. "Right. Lone wolf." He dropped his jacket.
Soap looked at his arms again. He had tattoos on both his forearm. One of them was a patchwork tattoo, full of dozens of little "hardcore" tattoos. The other was flowers. Dozens of different kinds. They started at a place along his inner wrist where the veins were and trailed off to his fingers or up his arm.
"Do you like them? Every time I'm home, I get another tattoo."
"They're nice. Clearly well taken care of."
Simon smiled at him and sat down on his bed. "Yeah." He pulled off his shirt. More tattoos. The flowers wrapped around one of his collar bones. The patchwork tattoos flowed down his chest. Some of the ones further up were from bands or things that Soap recognized as from missions. Like the bomb they had to defuse, a safehouse, a few dates even. Soap wasn't sure if he should recognize them or not.
Soap blushed but his mask covered it up. "Can I get a closer look?"
Simon nodded. "Know you're an artist. Saw you drawing."
"Don't do that anymore."
"Liar. Your notes from meetings are covered in doodles." Simon moved so his arms were out. Soap looked along the delicate linework. The ink swirled in some places, making gorgeous designs.
"What's wrong? You're making a face." Simon mumbled, tilting his head to look at him better.
Soap brushed his thumb over the scars under his skin They were peppered over his skin. Cuts like he had been in a knife fight, burns and what he could only assume were bites from wild animal. "What's this from?"
"I was a dumb teen." Simon fell back into the bed, looking up at him. Soft underbelly on display. He had a few scars there too. Mostly cuts but also more burns and scratches.
Soap swallowed. "Go to sleep."
"Yes, sir."
He stood up slowly and turned around.
Simon's key flashed on the floor.
Soap stared at it. The way it was on the floor, it looked like it had been shoved through the door and then when Soap picked the lock, the door shoved it.
Their doors were set up so they could only be locked and unlocked with their main key and the master key. So if Simon shoved his key under his door, he would have to wait until the office opened up in the morning to get in his room.
Or.
Soap would let him.
He tried to brush it off as Simon planning on not going to his own room that night, a little overconfident in his ability to flirt.
But he hadn't wandered away from them all night.
Hadn't wandered away from Soap that night.
Soap flushed down to his toes and fled.
It was starting to occur to him that as little as everyone here knew Soap. They may know even less about a certain Simon Riley.
Why would he have so many scars? He had mostly been a sniper. This was his big break to be closer to the fight.
And some of them looked old. He was only 24.
Why the hell would a 16 year old get in a knife fight?
Who the hell was Simon Riley?
#Johnny “Soap” Mactavish#Simon “Ghost” Riley#Soap Cod#Ghost COD#Soapghost#Ghostsoap#Soap x Ghost#Ghost x Soap#Macriley#Call of Duty#Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2
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the brothers dropping their child off at daycare for the first time
-> brothers x mc
a/n: Hey! I'm back at it with the wholesome dad content. Just to be clear, the babies here are the same ones as the ones from my '(character) as a father' series. Also, let's assume the children are around 2 here.
mc's gender is not mentioned, but it is implied they used to be/ are pregnant. I tagged this post with gn!mc, let me know if I need to change it to something else, please! This post was not proofread
content warnings: children, babies, (past) pregnancy, mild angst (insecurity, separation, fear of being a distant parent), mild suggestive content
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Lucifer
he did not want to drop his daughter off at daycare at first
because a, he was too proud to do so and b, he'd never admit it, but he'd miss her terribly
however, lucifer has a ton of work, and you can't look after lilith the whole time
one day, lilith came to her dad, asking him to play with her, sadly lucifer rejected the offer because he had to sign paperwork
this happened multiple times, until lucifer decided it wasn't healthy for his daughter to hear 'no, I can't' the entire time, he didn't want her to believe she has a distant father
so, you and him agreed on dropping her off at daycare in the mornings, and picking her up around noon
that way, lucifer can grind out paperwork and play with his child later
lilith didn't like being apart from her family, but she saw playing with her dad later as motivation to get through daycare
the first day his daughter was away from home, lucifer barely got any work done though, he missed his baby
Mammon
your son was very social
he loved playing outside with other kids who lived nearby
and, every time you and mammon took him to town, he'd be talking to everyone
for example, when you're in the dressing room trying on a shirt while mammon and darian are waiting outside, your son would run off to talk to some cashier
thanks to his social nature, you did not expect daycare to be a problem for your child
mammon takes him there for the first time, they walk in the building all happy and smug
but, when the time comes they must part, both father and son are crying while clinging to each other
the daycare worker had to split them up
at home, mammon sulked the whole time until he got to pick his son up, only to find out he had done the same at daycare
'mc, he ain't going to daycare ever again!'
Leviathan
levi was strongly against leaving his son at daycare
but, you thought otherwise
you believed your son needed to socialise a bit more, it would be good for his development
when you told this argument to levi, he folded
he did not want his son to become a social outcast like him
levi wanted to be the one to bring henry to daycare for the first time
the little boy was nervous, but quickly warmed up to the idea of daycare
levi's concerns also melted away once he noticed his son seemed to take this change well, though he still missed his gaming buddy at home
also, levi wanted to give henry a little sibling, if it's a girl, her name will be hana
with the child out of the house, you and him have many chances to try for a second child
Satan
you both agreed your daughter would have to go to daycare at some point
you two had originally planned on starting while she was still a little baby, but that didn't end up happening
satan went to every daycare in the devildom, to pick the best one out for his daughter
he started to lose hope in finding a good place until he came along one with a big backyard
said backyard would often be visited by the cats around the neighborhood
this was the perfect place for his child, satan talked it out with you and you two agreed on letting serena go there
satan was scared serena would be sad or scared to ne somewhere without her parents, but she seemed to be calm in the new environment
when he wanted to pick her up, satan found his daughter in the backyard playing with a cat
Asmodeus
by this time, your first daughter already had a little brother and another sibling on the way (with asmo's libido, you'll be having a whole football team)
at first, you and asmo thought you could take care of your children without any help, but lately it's proven to be harder than initially thought
you two decided to leave your first and second children at daycare
asmo searched all over the devildom to find a fancy enough daycare, which he found but it was expensive, he still paid for it
because he does not want you to overwork yourself, asmo was the one to drop the children off
your daughter seemed excited to make new friends, but your son was another story
the second asmo handed him to the daycare worker, he started crying
asmo's heart broke, he tried to stay with his son but the worker kicked him out
luckily, your son was calmer when his sister was around
Beelzebub
he knew daycare would be good for his daughter, but when it came to it, he refused to hand her off to some worker
cue beel constantly slowly spinning around on his feet, to face away from the worker with lilith in his arms
she seemed to be having the time of her life, though
eventually, the worker got beel to let go of his child, but he stayed ny her side until they had to kick him out
he was not happy about that
fast forward a few years, lilith now has two younger siblings, twins, riliane and allen (still, if yk yk)
and eventually, the twins needed to go to daycare too
lilith remembered how reluctant her father was to leave her there, so she offered to stay by her brother and sister's side, that way she could protect them and beel wouldn't worry
beel has never been more proud of his little family in his life
Belphegor
belphie is very protective over his son, despite the fact that he's the reason he can't sleep some nights
therefore, he was strongly against sending his child to daycare
he didn't trust those workers there enough to keep his precious baby safe
one day, your son asked why all his friends go to daycare but he doesn't
belphie didn't want to make his child feel like he was missing out, and you were team daycare in the first place, so now he's gonna go
when belphie was about to leave him there, his son started to get scared, because he thought that his parent would come in with him
the daycare worker explained to the child it didn't work like that, and he burst out crying
belphie's protective mode kicked in, he lifted his son up and went home together
maybe he'll go some other time
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me fluff#obey me swd#obey me imagines#obey me scenarios#omswd#om#obey me babies#gn!mc#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#mammon#lucifer#leviathan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#beelzebub obey me#beel obey me#belphegor obey me#obey me belphie#tw pregnancy
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LA VIE EN ROSE… trent alexander-arnold
epilogue
trent buys white roses every week in maisie's flower shop, becoming her favourite customer.
trent alexander-arnold x fem!oc word count: 1k
other parts
(if you’ve followed this series until here, thank you so much, i appreciate it <3)
in indescribable amazement, trent watches the shocked look on maisie's face after his more or less surprising confession seconds earlier. the astonishment is so great that she stops on the pavement, mouth wide open and eyebrows furrowed. a frank laugh from trent echoes in the liverpool summer air and he holds out his hand for her to grasp with her left; her right hand is too busy holding a bouquet of pink roses between her fingers.
in three years, a lot has changed, except for the weekly bouquets that trent continues to offer her.
"say it again," maisie breathes out, denying his hand, still shaken by her lover's admission who looks at her with a smile on his face.
he takes a deep breath before shoving his hands into his pockets and shaking his head, "the first time i came to buy a bouquet of white roses, it was indeed for my mother. it was her birthday. but in reality, the next few times, it was just an excuse to see you."
maisie's face twists further before she asks almost violently, "but what did you do with the bouquets then? it's forbidden to throw flowers," she points a threatening finger at the man and trent has to admit that for a split second, she almost succeeds in scaring him.
"no, i would never throw flowers," trent raises his hands innocently, "but then it became a habit to give flowers to my mother. she was happy, and so was i, because it allowed me to see you."
a satisfied expression finds its way to her face and she takes the opportunity to let out a tender smile at the boy's words. if one thing hasn't changed in three years too, it's the gentleness he shows.
as they had not moved for a few minutes, even though they were ten meters away from the front door of their house, maisie finally decides to put her legs in motion and joins trent, who slips his hand into hers at the same time. walking through the front door, the woman lets herself slump down on the couch, breathing out.
"you know, it's not good for a pregnant lady, sudden confessions like that," maisie caresses her more than rounded belly with both hands after dropping the bouquet at her side with a yawn.
trent laughs as he hangs up his coat, which he had just taken off, and hurries to join his girlfriend at her side, almost immediately bringing his face close to his still unborn child.
"i can't believe you waited until we recreated our first date to tell me that, three years later. it's so long!" she almost exclaims, still as astonished as ever, and trent, who's tracing random shapes on her bare skin where he's pulled up her shirt, doesn't stop a smile from creasing his cheeks.
it was trent's idea: to take maisie to their very first restaurant together, giving her a bouquet of pink roses and kissing her endlessly under that starry night, just like three years ago. there are many reasons why he had this urge; love being the first. but also, liverpool has just won the premier league, the woman of his life is carrying a little one in the pit of her stomach who will soon call him daddy and trent is happy.
he finds that enough to justify his action —although there is no need to do so in the first place anyway.
"it was the perfect occasion," he replies simply and maisie gives him a dirty look that trent tries to take seriously, but to no avail, laughing instead.
"and he's laughing, can you hear him rose?" the woman addresses her stomach directly, her daughter.
since the two parents-to-be had learned the sex of their baby and it had turned out to be a she, her name had been a given. rose. it was soft, and tender, it sounded perfect to the ear and it was because of these flowers that maisie and trent had met; the question had not even arisen. her name will be rose.
the man laughs and passing his arm over maisie's body, he pulls out a pink rose from the bouquet and presents it to the florist's belly before murmuring with a smile, "look, it's you."
letting out a tender laugh, maisie wraps one of her hands around trent's cheek and caresses it gently. the man then looks up at her and when he sees the woman's loving smile, a similar one spreads across his mouth.
with the rose still clasped in his fingers, trent brings it to his beloved's ear and places it behind it, taking the opportunity to kiss her with disconcerting passion.
a flurry of butterflies breaks out in the woman's lower abdomen, like those of three years ago.
breaking away a little and admiring the view it offers him, trent smiles with all his teeth as he watches maisie's cheeks turn the same colour as the flower petals in her hair, and once again sticks his lips to hers.
in three years, too, he hasn't tired of the taste of her mouth.
"i love you, and you're going to be the greatest mom in the world," he whispers, tucking some stray strands of hair back behind his ear, and maisie returns the favour by kissing him harder.
with a loving sigh and as he gently breaks away from her, trent thinks to himself that since he has chosen maisie —the most perfect woman in his eyes— to be by his side for the rest of his life, he can only see one thing: la vie en rose.
masterlist
#football#football fanfic#football imagine#liverpool fc#football imagines#liverpool#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander arnold fanfic#trent alexander arnold imagine
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Prompt for V. "It's dark outside and it's raining... my arms are so much safer."
If you're still doing them that is
hey yes i am! i'm just busy so they're taking. a while (sorry to everyone who's sent in a prompt that i haven't gotten to yet, it will be here eventually </3)
prompt from here!
You are trapped in a small cave, sitting nearly shoulder to shoulder with someone who probably used to dream of murdering you in your sleep, and yet they illuminated the area for you without asking despite their own ability to see in the dark.
Rain pours down in sheets outside, which both prevents you from leaving and also cuts off any light. All you have to brighten up the space is V themself, swallowed just enough by their magic to give off a pale yellow glow.
You can't help but to keep them in your peripheral - this is your first time seeing them in this form. There are extra yellow, void-like eyes above and below where the eyes usually sit on the face, and golden light streaks up the black of their arms like a network of veins.
They're beautiful. They're rude and tactless and arrogant, yes, but - they're beautiful.
They're also clearly disgruntled about something, judging first by the stiff way their wings sit, and second by the way that they're actually hugging their knees to their chest, which is not a position you would have ever imagined you would see V in at any point. If you told any of the other knights about this, they wouldn't believe you.
At any other point in your relationship—if you can call it that—you might have assumed that the reason for their displeasure was simply sharing a space with you. But you don't think that's the case anymore.
"Quit staring at me," V grumbles.
Whoops. Figures that the additional eyes would give them better range of vision.
"Sorry," you say softly. You do try to look away, but there isn't really anywhere else to look. "Are you..." Are you okay will make them defensive. What are you angry about this time will likely have the same effect.
You stop, think, and try again. "What are you thinking about?"
V grunts. For a split second you think that's going to be the end of their response, but then they say, "You mean other than being stuck in this cave with no way out for the unforeseeable future?"
You let out a small laugh, turning back to them. "No, you're right. That'll do it."
They look small, curled up like this, though you're sure they'd kill you if you voiced the thought aloud.
V sits up as if having read your thoughts. "I'm—I don't like tight spaces."
You have to physically clench your jaw to keep yourself from giving off too big of a reaction that they're actually volunteering information now. You don't want them to clam up.
"Are you scared?" you ask instead. It's a reflexive question, one you barely even give thought to as you try to move towards the wall to give them more space.
"I'm not scared." Predictable answer. V would never admit to fearing anything. "I just don't like it." Their frown deepens. "Or rain, for that matter."
Well. You have an awful idea. "Does your dislike for tight spaces extend to hugging?"
V narrows their eyes at you. "What," they say, tone completely flat.
You raise your palms in surrender, lips pulling up against your will. "Well, I was just thinking. It's dark outside... and it's raining... and my arms are so much safer."
V shoots you a withering glare that you're sure could single-handedly take out a particularly frail small animal.
Fortunately for them, you're a particularly frail average-sized human, and so instead of dying you merely chomp down on your bottom lip to prevent your smile from becoming uncontrollable. A laugh escapes you as you retreat back into your corner. "Sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It was a genuine offer—hugging helps, for some people."
V regards you a moment longer. And then the wings on your side untuck from their back, press flat and open against the wall.
Your heart flies into your throat. Are they—no, they're probably stretching. They're definitely—
"Well?" V says impatiently.
Oh, fuck.
You scoot over, pressing yourself into their side. You brace for an explosion, for them to tell you that you severely misinterpreted whatever they were saying, but it never comes. Instead, their wings relax at your back, flutter closed over your shoulder, and your chest swells. Not exactly what you were thinking when you offered, but yes, this works too. Shit.
Neither of you look at each other, just stare straight out into the downpour of rain.
#answered asks#victoryne/valen/vail#drabbles#i wrote this all in like 2 seconds SORRY IF IT'S BAD LOL#anon
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"You must be quite popular where you're from."
Delilah laughed. "Oh, no. Not really." Joey noted with a frown how the corners of her mouth dropped for only a split second before returning to their place as a smile.
"Well why not?" He asked, leaning against the wall. "Someone as sweet as you? I'd imagine people would be all over you. Especially with your magic."
"That's exactly why no one likes me, Joey," Delilah retorted. "People like me aren't exactly well liked."
"Really?" Joey shook his head, bewildered. "Why?" The girl had been nothing but helpful ever since she'd arrived. Who could possibly have issues with her?
"Empathic witches have a... reputation, you know," Delilah said, wringing her hands. "Being able to manipulate others' emotions at will, and all that. That kind of control... scares people."
"Well it's not like you're doing it all the time." Joey's nose scrunched up. "I mean, no offense but it's pretty easy to tell when you're using your magic."
"They don't know that," Delilah huffed. "For all they know, any positive emotion towards me could just be me influencing them without them knowing. They can never know for sure what's real and what is just me whispering into their ears, telling them what to feel."
"That's ridiculous," Joey snorted. How could anyone possibly be so stupid as to believe that?
He was... aware of the stories about the more power hungry empathic witches, of course he was. But Delilah?
"It is," Delilah agreed. "But that doesn't change the fact that that's how they feel."
"Well, that's stupid." Joey raised his chin and crossed his arms.
"My own mother was afraid of me," Delilah said, rolling her eyes fondly. "I got my magic from my dad's side of the family, so she wasn't empathic like me. As a child I was prone to outbursts. I was too young back then to really comprehend or properly express how overwhelming it was to constantly be surrounded by everyone's emotions. Temper tantrums, anger, random bouts of crying, all of it was commonplace.
"But because of the nature of my magic, those outbursts tended to affect everyone else as well, not just myself. So my mother always tried to keep me happy at all costs." Her smile faded, and she turned her head away so she didn't have to look at Joey. "That poor woman ran herself ragged just to avoid being influenced by me again."
"...I'm sorry."
Delilah shrugged and sighed. "Don't be. I've had plenty of time to process these things and move on. There's nothing I can do about those people. They'll never accept me no matter what I do. But I know who I am, and I'm comfortable with it. Proud, even. It's not my fault that they can't get over their stereotypes."
"Right..." Joey's lips tightened. He thought about his family, how they'd reacted to his magic. Their disgusted looks, the horrid whispers circulating around him. "How did you do it? How did you move on even after everyone rejected you?"
Her eyes turned to him. She looked at him with quiet understanding, a foreign thing when all he was used to receiving was pity.
"It wasn't easy. I'll admit, it still stings to think about sometimes. But it helped when I finally learned to stop trying to appeal to people who had already made their minds up about me."
She gave him a knowing look, to which Joey's shoulders raised self consciously.
"Yeah..." he muttered.
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I'm an introject of a historical figure who was, undeniably, on the wrong side of history. I've mostly accepted that my source was an awful person, & don't feel too bad about it. The only thing that gets to me still is how I can't be open about myself as an introject. I'm too nervous about how others will perceive me. I know many people who say they accept introjects "of all sources", even "problematic" ones. But I'm scared that, even if they won't admit it, there's a limit to how "problematic" my source can be before they start to disrespect me & my system. I fear that people will accuse me and/or my headmates of sympathizing with my source or his beliefs, as if all introjects are formed out of adoration, or because their sources bring comfort to the system. I formed because my system was exposed to information about my source while we were stressed due to new responsibilities. Our brain felt we needed someone new to cope with all of the new stuff we had to due, felt it would be easier to copy something than to make someone from scratch... and now here I am. But of course, people won't assume that. They'll assume someone in the system must like my source, why else would an introject form? And I shouldn't have to prove that that's not the case, I shouldn't have to explain my formation to someone to avoid accusations of sympathy with my source. What caused me to split should be my business & my business only.
It's not just the fear of what others will assume from me that's keeping me from being open, though, it's also the fact that my existence will make people uncomfortable. I've accepted that that's not something I can change, that there will always be people made uncomfortable by me, and they have just as much a right to be uncomfortable as I do to exist. But how I wish it wasn't the case! How I wish I could just say who my source is without having to worry if I'm making those around me uncomfortable! But it's too much of a risk in most spaces. Maybe some all Fact- spaces will be fine with me, but I still worry that others will be uncomfortable, even if they don't mention it to me. Of course, I want to believe that everyone does & should have a right to be open about who they are, but I feel as though I'm an exception.
The most specific I've ever benn about my source with anyone outside of the system is saying that my source is "a historical figure who was a bad person". Once I sent an ask to an ask/submission run introject themed blog (not saying who, I don't want anyone angry at them for this. They didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure.) in which I mentioned that my source was a bad person. They deleted the ask, and then made a post about "how bad they felt for fictives of villians, how hard it must be, poor you, but I accept you!, e.t.c. e.t.c." I had mentioned how my source was a bad person in a lighthearted manner, and I felt my tone demonstrated that I am no longer bothered by this fact. So what's with the pitying? And why did they assume that I'm a fictive? Is it just because fictives tned to be more common (or at least more visible) than factives? Or worse, is it because they didn't want to accept that the person sending them asks had a source whose actions have effected real people, not just fictional characters? Do they, even if it's just subconciously, see introjects (or, if we're being more specific, factives) as their sources, and assume that I must have, at some point, shared morals with my source? I ended up sending in a second ask clarifying: My source is a real person, & denying that he was wrong is irresponsible & just plain wrong, so I had to learn to accept it, which I have. Other than the ask I'm currently typing, that's the only time I've been that open about my source. And I fear that if I had to explain myself after only mentioning that my source was a bad person, how much more will I have to explain if I say how exactly he was bad? If I mention him by name? If I use my real first name, his first name, in the same place I mention anything about my source, & someone figures out who I am?
I'm sure there are people out there who I can be open around. But I believe it's too risky for me to find them. If I try finding people irl, & they don't accept me & decide to tell others, it can effect my life. If I try finding people online, & they don't accept me, they can screenshot it & there will always be a record. Hell, even if they don't take a screenshot there will likely always be a record on some server somewhere.
I don't know how to end this... essay? ...confession? It feels too personal to be an essay, but too long to be a confession, and I don't know what else it would be. Tag it as you see fit, I suppose.
-Blue
hi, Blue, thank you for your patience. accepting yourself is the first step to being comfortable with your existence, and i'm proud of you, happy for you, for doing it 💙
i understand, even if i can't relate, that it's difficult to show yourself in factive/plural spaces when your source has done atrocities. it's valid and really reasonable, imo, to be nervous about it. i'm sorry to hear that people haven't been accepting to you. that even "problematic" spaces haven't respected you. it's not fair that your sheer existence is so risky to show, and I wish it was easier. ;_;
They deleted the ask, and then made a post about "how bad they felt for fictives of villians, how hard it must be, poor you, but I accept you!, e.t.c. e.t.c." And why did they assume that I'm a fictive? Is it just because fictives tned to be more common (or at least more visible) than factives?
as for that blog thing. i don't understand why people use "introject" only for fictives, as if factives don't exist. and yeah, they're more visible, for sure. but people still shouldn't assume that introject always equals fictive.
Or worse, is it because they didn't want to accept that the person sending them asks had a source whose actions have effected real people, not just fictional characters? Do they, even if it's just subconciously, see introjects (or, if we're being more specific, factives) as their sources, and assume that I must have, at some point, shared morals with my source?
I ended up sending in a second ask clarifying: My source is a real person, & denying that he was wrong is irresponsible & just plain wrong, so I had to learn to accept it, which I have.
It could be. and a lot of people think it is, i think it might be the effect of capitalism (and stereotypes). where consuming media defines your identity and morality. it manifests in people saying "you're a bad person if you buy from amazon" "you're immoral if you like villains" or "you can't be gay because you don't listen to music that white american gay people like". so they always see introjection as based on media/source consumption, and consumption is based on interest/fandom/comfort, and thus based on support. because that's the stereotypes of plurals - "hyperfixation means introjection". which is NOT true for so many systems!
(we don't split as we're walk-ins, but know you are not alone. a lot of us don't come here based on fandom/interest/comfort... hell, some don't even come from consumption of the associated sources - as in, the brain doesn't know the media/person. we're just here. some of us even make the brain extremely uncomfortable.)
also,, a lot of people have this thing about shame. that we have to be ashamed for existing, have to beat ourselves up for our source's actions to be a Good Factive. but that is a very unfair thing to enforce. you shouldn't have to be ashamed for yourself or be pitied or patronized for your identity. i think it's good that you've accepted yourself and the fact that your source has been harmful to others 💙
They'll assume someone in the system must like my source, why else would an introject form? And I shouldn't have to prove that that's not the case, I shouldn't have to explain my formation to someone to avoid accusations of sympathy with my source. What caused me to split should be my business & my business only.
you are right. introjects do NOT only from from likes/interests/fandom/comfort/support. you are, and do not have to be, like your source morality-wise. your system's morality isn't like them. and you should NOT have to justify your existence and explain why you split. no one else but you is entitled to that info, and i'm glad you know that.
i hope this helps a little. also, I suggest @problematicfactive - they might be able to assist you more on this topic.
all the best, Blue, and please take care of yourself. know that you and your system deserve respect, no matter what.
-mod espresso
#confession#factive#ask#anonymous#blue anon#answered#mod espresso#introject#factual introject#plurality#pluralgang
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Legend of the Dragon S1 Ep 14-26 Watch and Rewrite
Remember how I wrote that by the midway of the show, it was really picking up steam with more tension and intrigue between the siblings and the guardian world in general? It delivers by making Ling more human and less psychotic, Ang is less naieve, and there are far less slo-mo. Actually, in some episodes there is none and when they do use it, it's for appropriate dramatic purposes instead of filler.
Now, it's not without its flaws. The animation is still wonky at times, and it haas its generic melodramatic moments like there was four consecutive episodes in a row where Ang shouts at Ling when she leaves again. And I know it's supposed to be angsty but I just keep thinking of
Without the romantic conotations of course, but the melodrama yep.
Luckily it dies down. The humor (especially the sibling teasing) is top notch, creepy final boss villain, has some unique guardian powers and expands lore. The second half is a vast improvement and nicely sets up urgent business for season 2.
Now to the episodes, beware spoilers unless you want to watch it on youtube.
Sister, Sister has Ling split into four when she steals the rabbit armband and you can imagine the headache everyone has in having to deal with an angry Ling, a depressed, apathetic Ling (that is Valley Girl for some reason), hungry Ling and peacemaker Ling. Zodiac Master has the biggest migraine of all when he gets overthrown by the Lings (literally, he's literally thrown off his own ship) and goes to the gang for help.
While he relaxes in jail (confirming that regular Hong Kong police think he's a nutcase), the group goes to the Rabbit temple where the rabbit guardian, Hye has Ang all aflutter with a crush and Bengail with jealousy.
While this is mostly an amusing episode, I found the attempted character romance to fall flat on Bengail's side. While Ang is clearly experiencing his first crush (that's not going anywhere) and appreciates Hye's sympathetic ear in regards to his complicated feelings on his sister, Bengail's jealousy felt petty as she wouldn't even admit to her feelings. I just appreciate Hye for her maturity in playing along with Ang's crush and assuring Bengail that she has a role at Ang's side and can't be replaced. But tbh, I found her VA's high, soft voice to be lowkey annoying.
I would rewrite this to have Bengail's jealousy over Ang's crush lead to a real fight over Ang feeling unsupported. He knows he shouldn't trust Ling and he mostly doesn't but he's tired of everyone dismissing his hope that she'll change. Everyone expects him to forget that she's his sister and they had seventeen years of history, good history. She wasn't always an evil psychopath and he feels like he's the only one who remembers that and he's tired of being called naive and a fool when she's the only family he has left.
Then Bengail can go into her own feelings since Ling had been her friend too and why she's much harsher on her.
Otherwise, this was a fun episode with plenty of funny moments too and wit as Ang tricks the Lings into turning on each other as they figure out who is the real leader and whose the clone. Also apparently the only thing the clones agree on is shopping which is so random but funny. It does highlight a flaw that while the Lings go shopping, there are no background people. Maybe the clones scared them off but it’s more likely the animators didn’t have the budget to populate Hong Kong which makes it feel very empty.
Associating with Vermin: Another good episode where Ling tricks Ang into believing the rat guardian, is actually her in disguise pitting them against each other before she ambushes them and takes the rat band.
By the way, the rat guardian is a feisty twelve year old girl, Ming (I think she's around the age) whose armband allows her to shapeshift into different animals (mainly rats and snakes) and wolverine claws. Literal wolverine claws! So cool! Seriously, why do they make the guardian powers so much cooler than the protagonists?
And while the rest of the episode is predictable in how they team up to take her down using 's knowledge of her temple, it's full of funny lines. Like when Ling does the villain monologuing explaining her deception and complains no one recognizes her brilliance.
And -- just roasts Ang the entire time like when she says that the only protection she needs is protection from someone stupid enough to be tricked by their own sibling and he's supposed to be the golden dragon, not an oversized twit.
Also Xuan Chi getting to be the voice of reason is always fun switch of personalities.
Shell Game brings the return of the monkey band when Azng finds that a museum curator has it and in his attempt to not tip off the Zodiac Master goons that are spying on him, he accidentally lets the curator place the armband on a suit of samurai armor.
No problem right, they just go back and steal it back. Yeah, Zodiac Master gets it first and brings the armor to life so he can use it like a jacked up samurai monster with monkey powers.
Unfortunately since he cast a spell of evil it bites him and Ling in the butt when the samurai turns against them with another enemy of my enemy team up that ends up blasting the samurai to pieces and the monkey armband is lost to the wind again.
If I had to change the episode I would just remove the trite fight between Ang and Xuan Chi on the morals of stealing and give Xuan Chi a bigger moment to shine as retrieving the monkey band is so important to his arc. There had been a moment when Xuan Chi decides to fight the samurai armor on his own because it's his armband and duty, it is played for laughs as he quickly runs at the armor's might. If it was played straight, it would have added more bathos to this fillery episode.
Thief of Power: A big time thief breaks into the dojo, seeking revenge on Master Chin. But before he does, Master Chin goes to Vietnam and the gang goes to get answers from Shoong and Chin. Yes, it's backstory time!!!!
Apparently, Tommy the thief was actually the Pig Guardian whose greed led him to abuse his powers for thievery so Master Chin put him in jail. The big surprise is that Master Chin and Shoong were the ones that secretly broke him out because they needed him to complete a sacred ceremony to recharge the pig armband for the next 12 years. An interesting addition to the lore here is that one retains the power even in disgrace which explains Tommy's awesome moves and tank-like build.
So it's up to Ang, Bengail and Xuan Chi to keep Tommy from getting the pig band while keeping him within the temple for the ceremony to work. It was cool interplay and this might be me getting used to the show but I feel like there was less slow mo in the fights so that was a plus.
Horse Play had almost no slo mo! We’re getting places and by that I mean, Xuan, Master Chin are heading to the horse temple which Chin warms that things aren’t as they seem.
That’s certainly true as Ang has to trust his instincts rather than his eyes to find the temple under the lake. I just find the setting choices for each temple cool especially as the horse is supposed to represent
From there, Ang fights the Eternal Maiden who initially disguised herself as Manaho, the horse guardian but was so touchy feels and seductive that you know she’s bad news.
At the same time, Chin and Xuan Chi find the real Manaho who warns they have to get the armband back before the volcano explodes.
It all ends as predictably as expected but I thought it was a solid plot with good fight scenes. I would just give Manaho more of a personality, tying it back to the horse zodiac, specifically fire horse by showing her high spirited enthusiasm and well, fire. Something to make her more distinct as a character.
Darkest before Xuan was a fun episode giving the pathos to Xuan that was missing in Shell Game. After being easily bested in a fight by Zodiac Master and Ling, Xuan feels more down about his skills as a sole combatant. His self esteem takes a further plunge when the former monkey guardian comes and rips him a new one.
To be fair, he’s a grumpy old man the others don’t like as he considers them just kids and Bengali is more pretty than a warrior. And he’s bitter that Master Chin made him retire for Xuan to take his place.
So Xuan goes to the dark side and gets a shadow band. Why he thought he’d be able to use it without getting corrupted, I have no idea but he gets corrupted.
There’s fights and eventually Ang and Bengali save the day and remain Xuan of his worth but evil!Xuan is super entertaining. I just generally like Xuan’s arc of insecurity, confidence, slide backs and so on.
Venom has a ticking clock plot when the Zodiac Master sics his cobra on the snake guardian, Cobra (I'm guessing that's a psyudenom or else her parents knew the future) poisoning her. And without her snake armband, she’ll need an alternative antidote or the snake armband, whatever comes first.
Oh and their doctor from the mainland is an actual shapeshifting snake.
Pretty decent episode and has cool moments like Ang getting to use his dragon armband and Bengail’s Tiger armband in tandem. Like that’s the kind of creative action I want to see (tho I still they could have gotten a lot cooler than what they did do). Plus Zodiac Master backstory, apparently he had been the Snake Guardian before he turned evil. That explains why he attacked the snake temple in the pilot. I just wish they included it earlier and maybe showed a bit more of Cobra instead of her being unconscious for most of it. She was all British and badass in the pilot, she should be conscious more.
Empower the Darkest Ling brings back the spirit of the Emperor of Yin who possesses Ling into a dragon snake hybrid to with the power of shadow tiger/dragon/snake. He is on the hunt for one more armband since he needs four armbands to come back to life.
Know who else is on the hunt for the shadow armbands? Ang and the gang because while the shadow armbands keep the world in balance, they're still corruptive.
It ends in battle, it’s not Ang vs Ling but Shoong and Ming come to help for a big guardian showdown.
And while Ling won't admit to being thankful for their help in un-possessing her, she says she's not ready to go back. Being possessed by the emperor gave her in even more power than what she would have with just the shadow dragon band or the golden dragon band. She wants more.
But in big twist, she comes back to the dojo with the shadow tiger and shadow snake bands, warning them that the Zodiac Master cannot know but she is worried what would happen if the Emperor was resurrected. It cannot happen.
It shows that there's still good in there. She doesn't want the world to end and it gives Master Chin hope for the first time that she can change.
I know it all sounds like the plot for the second to last episode or part 1 of a finale. It's only the midpoint but I'd argue it would make a better finale.
That’s why the only change I would make is to rearrange the episodes. Zodiac Master trying to resurrect the Emperor should be a bigger deal and should build to the finale instead of popping up midway and having a bunch of episodes in between.
So I would switch The Last Dragon to episode 11 since that’s when Ling starts showing a hint of good again and is more willing to truce and help her brother.
I would put the scene of Ling giving the shadow armbands to Ang in the end of Emperor of Darkest Yin since that would be after the emperor tries to suck her into the tomb, thus sparking her fear that she's in over her head.
Spy Hard then would be ep 24 where Ling fights against the Zodiac Master for trying to corrupt the dragon temple. It’s then she realizes how far she has come from her original goal to get the dragon band and double cross Zodiac Master before he does real harm. Because again, she wants to win with honor.
Then it can segue to Empower the Darkest Ling as episode 25 where Zodiac Master seeing that he is losing control on his second in command, has the Emperor possess them both in an attempt to seize more power and irreparably corrupt Ling which it does by sparking her thirst for more power and goes into the finale of Double Dragon as episode 26. Yes, much more angsty, dangerous and in keeping with the episode title.
Hair of the Dog has a mad scientist turning into a man-wolf, one powerful enough to overthrow Chow Chow (the dog guardian remember) for man animal supremacy.
Luckily, Chow Chow’s pug heads to the dojo for help, preventing another Golden v. Shadow Dragon showdown. It’s a classic writer’s trick when you want to make someone sympathetic, make them like or rescue an animal. And even though I know what they’re doing, it does work to see how much Ling cares for the pug dubbed Cruiser.
The episode also improves her in another way. After they all save the day together, Ang once again offers Ling a chance to stay, even get all the pets she wants. And Ling shows that she has gotten over her petty jealousy of her brother. She no longer cares about being Golden Dragon, but she cannot return because she doesn’t want to give up her shadow dragon.
The only thing I would change in this episode is the pug. Yes, he’s adorable but it would be more culturally significant to have a pekingese or a shih tzu since they were bred in ancient China to guard their temples just as the guardians guard their temples.
X Games Guardians: In the early 00s, there was an interest in the skating craze. X Men Evolution did it, Scooby-Doo did it and now Legend of the Dragon is trying to show how hip they are with the kids by having some young skaters unintentionally steal the ram armband from Zodiac Master.
From there it’s a game of “keep away” with different skaters trying out the ram power as the gang tries to get it back before the Zodiac Master blasts them all in fury.
It would be pretty forgettable but it’s saved that they have Ling on the side of good again and bonding with the original thief/street urchin, Jungi, who she sympathizes with trying to be let in the inner sanctum of the big kids (or in Ling's case, becoming a guardian) and pushed aside (though Ling kinda deserved it).
A way to fix this episode would just get rid of the slang and x games references. Keep the interest in skating since that will always be popular but try to not to date it. Also, make the teens more competent so they aren’t outmaneuvered by a bunch of preteen skater street urchins, I mean that was just embarrassing.
Lost and Found has more revelations for the twins about their supposed dead family members. After fighting with the ram guardian, he accidentally let it slips that she seems so similar to her mother. He supposedly dead mother.
So Ling goes to Ang so he could ask for answers from Master Chin. And yep, she’s alive but amnesiac and the former ram guardian!
Another solid episode that expands the backstory, improves the twins relationship with some good banter and doesn’t end too sappily with their mom automatically regaining her memory. Rather she’ll try as she reacquaints herself with her old yet oddly familiar home.
Monkey See Monkey Do: For Xuan Chi's birthday, we go on yet another search for the monkey armband that leads to a walk on the evil side for Xuan. Well actually, a walk on the wild side since the evil mask Xuan Chi puts on to make up for his lack of power turns him into King Kong. I am only a little disappointed that they didn't take advantage of the scenario to do a classic king Kong holding Zodiac Master on top of the temple scene.
Anyway, Xuan Chi learns his lesson not to use evil to his advantage, it will only corrupt you. While I like that they have the monkey armband be an ongoing arc, this one felt repetitive in the lesson of the day and in the scenario.
The only intriguing parts were Ling's willingness to tip off the good guys to prevent Zodiac Master from getting all the armbands to resurrect the emperor, and Ang talking King Kong Xuan with the classic 'Fight it, I know you're in there" speech.
Others may find it a cheesy cliche, I still enjoy the trope. I feel like it could have been stronger by having Ang recount Xuan's growth throughout the season and their friendship. You know, really pull the heartstrings.
Double Dragon: I have no rewrites here. This was a good finale that has almost all the guardians returning, and Bengail and Xuan get their own spotlight moment in the final battle. The Emperor has a cool design. And it has Ling facing the ultimate temptation when the resurrected Emperor of Darkest Yin goads her to getting the golden dragon armband so she can have the power of yin and yang in ultimate balance.
I just wish Ang had just a big chance to reflect on his growth and how he's progressed from slacker, naive, and undisciplined to the wise, competent Golden Dragon he is today. Also Cobra didn't return and no one turned into a dragon, still waiting for a cooler power upgrade there, but maybe that will be revealed in season 2.
And for the first time, I realized just how dark skinned, Ang and Ling are when in Golden/Shadow dragon form. I must have been oblivious but it does feel weird. Both as a race thing and the artists couldn't keep a proper color palette thing.
Also cliffhanger, it has a very intriguing cliffhanger that will make fighting Ling and Zodiac Master small potatoes.
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is there any kind of job you won't take?
" Y'know, most people don't ask stuff like that unless they want something reeeally weird."
That was generally how it worked, in his experience. Either a potential client was going to ask for something bizarre, or they were too nosy for their own good, perhaps as a poor attempt at small talk to get a chummy vibe going with him. Jordi has had a few of both in his time, the latter of which never worked, but he had to admit the attempts were adorable. "I'm good with weird and all. Cash is cash, I usually don't care how I have to get it, but believe it or not, I do have standards - I know, it shocked the hell outta me, too, but there it is. So, yeah, there's a few jobs I won't take - but, I also won't let anyone else take them, either."
What that means will come in time.
"Kids. I don't deal with shit involving kids. And I don't mean like, holding a kid for ransom, scaring the hell out of them…that kind of thing is alright. Not my favorite, but it pays, so I can't complain. No, no, no, when I say 'involving kids', I mean putting them on the business end of my .45. And before anyone starts spewing bullshit like who would do that - " For that, his voice climbs a derisive octave or two, only to drop back to normal in barely a breath. " - people do. Not a lot of people, but people. I've had one."
It's one he doesn't think of often anymore, now that so many years had passed. Thus far, it had been one of a mere handful that he'd refused, and one of two he'd turned down because – well, he'd rather not get into the reasons why he'd shot them down. Introspection sucks, he'd not here for that mess. Oh, no, instead he's thinking an explanation is in order here. A man like himself doesn't say no to paying work without good reason, after all. So, guess what? It's story time.
"I don't think I was in Chicago a year when this guy contacts me. Says he wants to get back at his ex-wife. They split the year before, she got their kid, she was seeing another guy and I dunno, some other bullshit, I stopped listening by that point. I just remember thinking This is why I don't do the relationship crap. It gets messy way too quick and then you end up with freak shows like that nutsack who can't leave shit alone. Just thinking about it gives me a headache…" Trailing off, he comes to a pause. A breath, and then a tense, albeit distant, "Where the hell was I…?"
Chicago, relationships…divorced creep. Ex wife, job refused because -
"- oh, yeah. So, anyway, we meet, he tells me he wants to 'teach her not to fuck with him', but he doesn't want her dead, because everyone points fingers at the ex when stuff like that happens. He just wanted her fucked up. Not physically, 'cuz that would heal too quick and, again, everyone always thinks it's the ex. He wanted to fuck with her head, permanently, and how'd he wanna do it? By hiring me. Not to mess with her or scare her or whatever- that'd be fine, I'd done it a thousand times before. Nah, this asshole wanted me to take out the five-year-old she had custody of. Yknow, really hit her where it hurts."
In theory, Jordi's previously mentioned tactics - ransom, threats, etc. - usually worked just fine, and probably would have in that instance, too. Most parents would lose their minds over that kind of stuff, but a client wants what a client wants. His part in the deal was to listen and do what he's paid to, no questions asked or input placed.
"I said I'd take it. Told him to pay me upfront and then, when the job was done, I'd clean the mess and he'd never have to see me again, and y'know what? He did. Transferred it over, didn't even question it, and after he did, I was about to head out to get the job done, but before I could, the craziest shit happened. I stood up, went to leave, and the next thing I know, there's a bullet right in the middle of his forehead - fuckin' dead center. The second one wasn't too far off, either; think it was like…in his eye or something, I dunno, hard to remember now, but I do remember, with all of his blood flying around, some of it ended up on my jacket. My brand new Patagonia, can you believe it?! "
The audacity of some people. Even as a corpse, the guy was a dick, which could have almost been respectable if Jordi wasn't on the receiving end of things.
He really liked that coat, too...
"So, I popped the fucker a third time, went home to change, and took myself out to a nice dinner on the lakefront. I got my money, and no one was around to claim I didn't get the job done - which actually reminds me, you breathe a word of this to anyone, just know, I got three bullets on me just for you, got it? Cool, cool. But, uh..yeah, that was that."
That one felt good. If pressed, Jordi couldn't put a finger on exactly what made that particular request much different than the countless others he'd handled; maybe it was just because it was a kid involved, maybe he'd started going soft a little sooner than he'd noticed. Whatever the case, it was a hard limit on his end. What should have been a meeting like any other had left a hollow pit in his stomach the whole time the guy talked, after he'd revealed intentions and explained exactly what he wanted Jordi to do. Such a pathetic waste of space, that one, drawing a target on someone who couldn't fight back...
As far as he's concerned, he fulfilled a contract, albeit an unspoken one, for saving some random woman he'd never meet the hassle of her ex-husband's existence, and spared a kid the trouble of being caught in the middle of that whole disaster. Look at him - making the world a better place, one well-placed bullet at a time.
"Moral of the story is, a job like that? Nope, won't take it, and anyone who comes to me with shit like that it's gonna end up like ol' what's-his-face…I can't remember it now, it's been a while. So far, that one's been the only time I've been asked to off a kid, but if I know anything about people, it's that someone, somewhere out there, is just fucked up enough to want it, too."
#child harm mention cw#( &. a bullet with your name on it but a trigger for a heart/ hc )#[ thank you for this!!! ]#[ sorry it took so long ldksjfa i have been dead on my feet for the last week ]
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sender kisses receiver to shut them up. 😭
* varying kisses prompts | accepting
the strength of her anger surprises even her. it's hard to remember a time she was so MAD, actually -- mad enough to make the leaves on the trees outside shake.
it's not that they argue. they have argued, but this is more serious than their usual banter back and forth or lighthearted bickering.
try as she might to calm down, her emotions are still running high as she unwinds her arm wraps, more aggressively than she intends. "you can't seriously expect me to believe that was you TRYING to be careful."
it's difficult to even look at him. all she sees when she does is the moment he'd been hurt -- the long fall to the ground, the stretch of time before he'd gotten back up that felt like an eternity.
"that was not 'careful;' that was the OPPOSITE of 'careful,'" rey rants, steeling herself against the waver in her voice. "that was --"
her voice breaks before she can finish the thought, though the sentiment is jumbled in her mind. it hardly matters, anyway. in a blink, her shaking breath is swallowed with a kiss that makes her mind stop rattling, that calms her still.
their lips move together with a comforting familiarity, and the anger drains out of her at once, forcing her to feel what had actually paralyzed her: FEAR. the memory will stick with her for the rest of her life; the flood of dread that let her know thor was in trouble came only a split second before the hit landed, too late for her to do anything about it. then there was only the icy grip of panic, a strangle of sadness --
the weight of thor's hands holding her close pulls her back to herself. to now. he's ALIVE. they both are. he's alive and he's here and he's going to be fine, for today, at least. for as long as they have until the next fight, until the next time he forgets to try to be careful. until their luck runs out.
bodies press together as the kiss consumes her. she scrambles to push up onto her toes while he leans down to meet her halfway. rey's teeth catch his bottom lip in the crush; her hands grip his arms desperately. annoyed as she was when they first arrived home, the kiss works like a CHARM in making her forget about everything else. part of her wants to be even angrier at him, for being right, but thor loves her better than anyone else ever could, and that's something wonderful.
his forehead tilts against hers when they break apart to breathe. "you scared me," rey admits raggedly, voice barely a whisper. "if anything ever happened to you, i..."
she shuts her eyes. the thought is too terrible to finish. "just -- you PROMISED you'd try to be careful. i need you to keep that promise. please. please."
@othunderous
#othunderous#& answered.#sorry if you wanted this to be funny KJFDHGJDHFG i was just thinking about what we were talking about the other day#i'm sure he does kiss her to shut her up many times when she starts ranting about something that doesn't matter but#( * hope is like the sun / mcu crossover )
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@galaxythixf (x)
"Me? No, no!" Quickly she stumbles over her answer, raising a hand to hurriedly wave off the notion as she urges to cover her tracks with something a little more believable. "I was only lost in thought! Thinking about what sort of establishment I may want to try next since we've been to so many already." A pause, correcting herself a bit awkwardly. "If we go out again." Right, she's sure not to make anything sound too definite having learned her lesson the first time. Even if she's positive the chances of Viper inviting her out again are rather high, assuming had only led to poor results last time and she didn't want to take another gamble on that.
The truth is lying vaguely on her hastily conjured answer, and partially on a blush she can't quite hide despite her efforts. Her thoughts were certainly keeping her but their restaurant dilemma was far from her priority. It's her feelings that she can't quite put a label on. Feelings that have only grown the longer they play this game of teasing the idea of being a couple shared with kisses and sprinkled affections Killjoy now treasured knowing they were reserved for her. Normally, her honesty could bridge this slight in communication but where she usually succeeded with others she tended to fail with Viper, and she wasn't naïve enough to learn the same mistake twice.
What stumps her is how she should communicate her feelings with her. Verbally stating something like this wasn't going to work, not without potentially scaring the chemist anyway. Therefore her best promise seemed to be a physical one, as Viper had shown her time and time again but initiating most actions with Viper always seemed to make her slightly … nervous. She didn't have any issues initiating anything with partners of the past but for some reason, this felt as if there was a bit more pressure on her shoulders. "Ah, actually, Viper-!" She isn't entirely sure how she wants to go about this but the method is already solidified, and her mind is clearly made up. A few steps close the distance and on her toes, she rises to press a kiss to the other's lips. It's nothing extreme but it's a statement she wants to make before pulling away, resting on her heels. A goodnight kiss wasn't anything terribly deep but it brought a smile to the engineer's face regardless.
"Goodnight!"
she probably has no idea how endearing she is. to sit in front of her, already pondering their next outing. she'd come to welcome the company, not only in her lab but when she went out. and she'd invited her more times than she'd care to admit. what did she want, exactly? she wasn't playing around with klara persay. she did not act on emotions that weren't genuine. but did she want a relationship? wasn't that what klara wanted for herself? could sabine provide such a thing? there's an uncertaintly that shakes all thoughts of such things away. that it's better to stay focused, to not be so deeply involved with another's life.
her eyes can't help but arrive on the other's face. on the blush that prevails despite all attempts to hide it. she wonders how many thoughts are running through the other's head, knowing her intelligence is likely making the thoughts split into a million different directions. where was she, right now?
she pauses at the kiss, taken aback. she'd almost always been the one to intiate, perhaps because she'd never established clear boundaries for the other, or perhaps because she simply assumed that the other would be ok with it.
she waits for a second, staring at the other smiling before grabbing her hand, tugging her back for just a moment to return the kiss. it's nothing intense, in fact- it may be the most gentle one she's ever given the other.
"goodnight, klara."
#galaxythixf#i'm gonna be so real with u#id on't wanna make icons rn#AEGAOHOEUGH#✩ every poisonous drop will make them choke ( viper ic )
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1/24/24
today went technically well.
dinner was leftover stew. i was able to give myself a small portion size, since i was in-control of it. the benefits of stew -- likely soup in general -- is that is one of the easiest things to purge. i will admit, though, the after taste of purging this stew is rather putrid. i am fairly at ease with today's restriction.
my worries begun when my mom revealed to me she bought a $5 cake from the grocery. this is anxiety-provoking because it is certainly expected for me to eat it, since cake is famously one of my favorite foods. she pushed me to eat some for the next few hours, and i pushed it off, saying that i would take some when i was in the mood. my solution to this problem was that i would stage the appearance of eating it. a good opportunity opened up when my parents left to attend an orchestra concert. i cut a good slice of the cake, then i placed it on a plate. i made sure the crumbs and frosting would stain it. i stabbed a fork into it, so remnants of cake would stick to it. afterward, i got a bag, put the cake in it and tied it up. i meticulously hid the bag in the outdoor trashcan inside an amazon box. i went back inside and put the dirty plate in the sink, as if i were to lazy to put it in the dishwasher -- but i only did this so it appeared like i had eaten. this was successful for me, because my mom believed it without a doubt. to make it more convincing, i sprinkled in some thoughts about the cake and how it tasted. i have done this multiple times with foods i never ate -- i think doing this is helpful, but it has to be general enough that it can't be contradicted.
the purpose of explaining of all of this is, for one, this online diary of mine, acts as a sort of confessional. i feel that i am split in half; i'd say it is between my mind and outer-appearance, but it is more complex than this, both parts of me are a jumble of lies and honesty. i have this itching need to be honest, and if i cannot have that in my personal life, it has to go somewhere -- so why not here? the second is that this space exists for me to reflect, and sort through how i feel, which i will do in the paragraph below.
i have come to realize from my actions today, that there must be something deeply wrong with me. i am extraordinarily paranoid in ways i was never before. this is further exemplified by getting frightened at the thought of someone finding the bag, that somehow they'd uncover it, and i would have no way of talking myself out of it. so, i returned to the trash, and thought that i should retrieve it, so i can get rid of it somewhere not by the house. i could not, however, find it, which only highlights how illogical i was being. this is entirely nonsensical behavior. no one would dig through the trash to begin with.
i have also noticed how frequent of a liar i have become. my propensity for deception, that i even desire to deceive others through painting myself as inconspicuous. it is one thing to dismiss others when they ask you if you are okay -- it is another thing to manipulate the people around you into believing everything is fine. i think i have gotten caught up in the fog. perhaps, i am so scared of something/someone interrupting my goal, that i have turned into an even worse person. i do not think anyone can sympathize with me. i don't expect anyone to. i am taking a huge risk of posting these entries, because it would be extremely detrimental for someone i know to find these. but i feel that i need somewhere to escape. i couldn't handle all of this otherwise.
i had more to say, but i think i've said enough. i may save the additional thoughts for tomorrow's entry. thank you to whoever reads this, i know it may seem tiresome, or off-putting.
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@myersbprd continued from x
dark hues wash over the man before her, watching his features and the way her words wash over him. mac has known john myers for a considerable amount of time now, long enough that she believes she can tell some of what's on his mind. be that because they'd become so close or the mere amount of time they'd been around each other or some combination thereof she's unsure. sometimes it still strikes her with surprise, how very much she trusts him. how quickly too. because she's known what he was, a vampire, since the moment she'd met him and yet something about him had called to her even that first day. maybe something about her called to him too. how else did one begin to explain how quickly they'd become a fixture in each other's lives? first a drink after work that she knew he was only taking part in for her, then him meeting her daughter, rose's school plays and that time they'd taken her bowling. they'd even gone with him and anna to the ice cream shop, one of the dozens of times they'd gone. and then, he'd made it his mission to help her find rose when the world had gone to hell and the undead had risen. furthermore he'd been with her, in that moment, when it had begun. when they'd had to kill a coworker in her lab. somehow, mac can't pinpoint where it all began but she realizes with a clarity that she also can't imagine a life where he wasn't present in some way. when she thought about family, thought about her and rose, somewhere along the way, john's face had begun to appear there too.
did he realize how much he meant to her? did she ever dare tell him? had she been too scared to admit even to herself the truth until now, when he was standing before her with her asking him to bite her? would it matter if she told him or did he already know? would he know once her blood began to flow through him?
she takes a breath in and lets it out slowly, a fury of thoughts coursing through her in a way that rebels against her usually rational and organized mind. they felt upon a precipice of something, the papers she'd been working on, the teenagers, everything else on the base suddenly feeling distant to this moment and as she watches the way he looks back at her she realizes she knows something else. he believes her. he believes in her faith in him. in his true nature. in the fact she knows he won't hurt her. does he know he inspires the same faith in herself when he encourages her about rose in those moments she doubts how to protect her in a world on fire?
'would you be glad or disappointed if I had?'
it takes her a moment to register his question, his next statement washing over her and her heart suddenly accelerating a few beats as he steps closer to her and moves her hair back. suddenly she feels hyperaware of everything in a way that's jarring because he hasn't even done anything yet. he's barely touched her. she feels the way the end of the table that she's leaning against digs into her backside and how slow he moves, giving her an escape if she should seek it. she doesn't want it and suddenly she's unsure if that's just because she knows he needs to feed or something else too. she's never felt this way before, so beholden to a moment. to the feeling of his aura touching hers, his warmth finding hers. how strange a concept, that he was a vampire but he still felt warm to her. he still felt so full of life because she could never imagine john myers not full of life, vampire or not. his hand cups her jaw and her breath hitches for a split-second, his next words processing but she answers his first question first as his lips graze her neck and her body seems to lean into it of it's own volition. "i'd-- i'd have been disappointed." she admits honestly, a sudden weight to it. she wasn't scared anymore not when she feels so open in a way she's never felt before, so unguarded suddenly and she thinks, perhaps, he's the first person she's ever placed this level of trust in. then she answers his second. "i promise."
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I feel like the worst version of myself at the moment.
I'm 23,
Married,
I have a 18 month old son who I love more than anything,
But I'm still not fulfilled completely,
Still not "happy",
Not content.
Money isn't supposed to be everything & yet- it involves literally almost everything you want to do,
You are supposed to be confident but not too confident that you let your own ego swallow up your soul and turn you against yourself with pure vanity,
You are supposed to keep learning new things, keep climbing up the ladder with a career and a job and a house and your own creative endeavors all at the same time-
But you look down and only realize that you have 2 hands,
Oh how satisfying would it be to have an abundant amount of hands so you can do as many things you want to do all at once without the worry of working with only the 2 that you have.
I feel like I have this big heavy hole living inside of my chest- a swarming sea of complete blackness and negativity and self-sabatage and depression,
And it has tenticals- trying to pull whatever is lying nearby into the hole of darkness that sinks deeper inside of me, it wants more victims to feed on- because it almost has a sense that my will is becoming too weak for its liking.
I try to patch up the hole when I need to-
Forcing it to only feed on me, but sometimes it still finds its way outside of myself, bringing other people down with me, and it's painful to watch.
I know myself one day,
Then I don't the next;
"Who are you?" I ask my reflection in the mirror.
I think to myself; I am a mom,
A wife,
A dog-lover,
A writer,
A dreamer-
Then I feel that all-too-fimilar pang run through the middle of my chest and I can see the blackness of the hole beginning to show itself right in front of me - extending its sinister tentacles my way, slowly wrapping itself around my throat-
Wanting more than anything to swallow me hole;
but I turn away and pretend it was never there to begin with.
I feel like a disappointment to everyone that I love.
"Why can't you just do the right thing?!" My consciousness screams loudly inside of my head.
"Why do you make things more complicated than they need to be?!" It continues.
"Why can't you just BE HAPPY?!" It relents.
My mind swarms with thoughts similar to these on an almost constant never-ending cycle, leaving me feeling helpless and dry and with hardly any motivation to do what's "right.".
What even is the right thing to do?
I believe I am a good person at heart, but I also admit I do partake in some stupid ignorant things that I know is wrong at times.
But why?
Why, why why?
It feels good for maybe a split second and then I am being tossed back and forth inside my own head about whether or not I am worthy of this life. Because someone who makes bad decisions and then still convinces themselves that they are a "good person" in their heads is not a person who will grow mentally in a good way.
I'm petrified of falling into the abyss of nothingness everyday-
The black hole that tries to consume me on a daily basis,
It's tiring,
I want the life I deserve and I want to be the best version of myself but how can I do that if I am still attempting to find that best version?
I feel like the best version of me is hiding inside a dark corner of my mind, scared to show herself in fear of the possibility of rejection from the outside world,
The possibility of getting used,
Getting run over by a tractor trailer that is called "life" after doing all that she could to make the best life for herself because she deserved it.
It's something that scares me night and day,
And I'm slowly working on getting over that fear before the black hole keeps trying to consume me; because that is a battle I want to win, but also a battle I'm not sure I can fight.
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