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feralphoenix · 3 years

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NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”

whats UP hk fandom i am back with—“more picante takes?” WOW YES HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!

CONTENT WARNING FOR TONIGHTS PROGRAM: today we are discussing the hollow knight boss fight, and all that entails for all the characters involved. relatedly this post does not have anything nice to say about the pale king, so if you’re very protective of his character, you may want to skip it.

FURTHERMORE, i would like to iterate that this essay is working from a place of compassion for ghost, hollow, radiance, AND hornet, because every single one of them is miserable at this point in the game and doesn’t want the events of this boss fight to be happening at all. this post is not an appropriate place to dunk on ANY of them. if you want to do that, please do it elsewhere.

thanks for your understanding.

ALSO, AS USUAL: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of radiance and the moth tribe’s backstory is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty

NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”

A while back @grimmradiance made a lovely essay about comparing and contrasting Hollow’s moveset in their Hollow Knight and Pure Vessel boss fights and using what can be gleaned from the differences to speculate about their psychology. (This essay is currently their pinned, but I’ll attach a link in a reblog.) It is extremely good, and it made me want to look at the Hollow Knight boss fight my own self through one of my own areas of expertise, meaning music!

As we are all well aware, Christopher Larkin's soundtrack to Hollow Knight rules ass. There are two specific ways in which it rules ass that are relevant to this essay: Leitmotif, and sound palette.

Quick rundown for folks who aren’t familiar with these terms: A leitmotif is a melody associated with a character or event or mood that's incorporated into songs in different ways based on what's happening in the story. Undertale is an example of a game with an incredibly strong use of leitmotif that’s really only possible because Toby Fox is both the composer and the game creator, so he can synchronize the subtleties of the writing with music and scene scripting too.

The phrase “sound palette” can have a lot of meanings, but in this case I’m using it to refer to specific instruments or groups of instruments that are associated with certain characters. If you’ve watched Steven Universe and seen interviews/production commentary by its composer team Aivi & Surasshu, you’ll hear them talking about part of their approach to scoring episodes being how each main character is represented by certain instruments: Steven with the triangle wave, Pearl with jazz piano, and so on.

Hollow Knight is a small team project rather than a one-person show, so Christopher Larkin can’t go quite AS over-the-top with leitmotif integration as Toby Fox can on simple virtue of Team Cherry having to communicate what they want to him. But Larkin is Hollow Knight's sound designer as well as its composer, so he folds leitmotif and character sound palette together with striking use of stems to create a very immersive and cinematic musical experience that enhances HK’s story and gameplay.

This brings us back to the track Sealed Vessel, which has EXTREMELY tight and cinematic sound design and uses leitmotif and sound palette to not just sock players in the feelings during a charged and dramatic boss fight, but also tell us a lot about what Hollow and Radiance are experiencing emotionally, especially with the gameplay in mind.

So, let’s play the soundtrack version of Sealed Vessel (and some other stuff) and talk about what’s going on in the game during it!

You may want to get out your copy of the OST or visit Christopher Larkin’s Bandcamp page so that you can listen along.

LEITMOTIF & SOUND PALETTE

Before we actually get into analyzing Sealed Vessel, let’s talk about the involved characters’ leitmotifs/sound palettes so we know what we’re listening for.

Both of these things are easiest to identify when characters have a distinct theme song. Ghost does not. However, the main theme of Hollow Knight (see: the title track, Hollow Knight) is used as a leitmotif for the vessels as a whole. Most pieces involved with a vessel character include this leitmotif somewhere. For instance, you can find this leitmotif and variations on it in Broken Vessel’s boss theme. The Vessel leitmotif is led by a cello solo here, so we can identify that the cello is the central part of Broken Vessel’s personal sound palette.

When the Vessel theme is associated with Ghost in specific, it tends to be performed by viola and/or piano, as it is on the title track and in other places like the opening cinematic.

Moving on to Hollow, their specific sound palette is established not in Sealed Vessel but in Pure Vessel, their pantheon boss theme. (Sealed Vessel was composed first, since the Godmaster DLC didn’t drop until over a year after HK’s initial release, meaning Pure Vessel was reverse-engineered/extrapolated from relevant parts of Sealed Vessel. But we’ll get into that later!)

The major instrumental fixtures in Pure Vessel are choir and tubular bells (i.e., those dramatic vertical fellas that sound like church bells or a carillon), with some soft background instrumentation: bass drum, woodwinds (appropriately led by flute in the main melody’s “falling motion” - flute is the centerpiece of TPK’s sound palette), strings, and high/mid brass. Hollow’s overall sound palette has a very Christian choir-esque sound (in the Pure Vessel theme this is very idealized and saintly: soft and slow and tragic) and the beginning of their leitmotif has a very distinctive climbing melody that mirrors their ascent from the Abyss. The Unbearable Vesselness Of Being leitmotif is absent from the Pure Vessel track.

Meanwhile, Radiance’s boss theme is a very fun expression of her character upon which Larkin evidently went ham. Her sound palette is expressed through full orchestra (plus choir and pipe organ) that has a special emphasis on the bass part of the brass section, which does not see much use in the HK soundtrack. Her leitmotif has also got cute and distinctive touches: It’s full of triplets to match her tiara-looking antennae, and also has a repeated “fluttery” pattern of background sixteenth notes as countermelody, often spiraling downwards.

The majority of the piece is loud and bombastic and in a minor key to play up the “resplendent and terrible” wrathful aspect of herself Radi is pushing during this section of gameplay, a very quintessentially moth intimidation tactic: Try to look as scary as possible to keep your enemies from messing with you, since you’re not built for fighting. These blasts of intensity from the brass section match Radiance’s strategy of Overwhelm You With Bullet Hell Spam To Make Up For Lack Of Battle Experience/Poor Aim. But in between said intensity spikes you can hear traces of softer instrumentation and major key, little glimpses of a gentle warmth we can otherwise only infer from her backstory and the implications of Moth Tribe lore.

0:00 - 0:41 - OPENING AMBIANCE

The Sealed Vessel track begins with the ambiance of the Black Egg Temple’s interior: The faint tones of the glowing seals we hear when we pass by them, the only light in a pitch-black world besides the floor lighting up under Ghost’s feet.

Then a slow string tremolo fades in, slowly growing louder. In the track new notes join the tremolo progressively, while in-game a violin joins the anticipatory chord every time you snap one of Hollow’s chains. Which, may I say: A+++++++ sound design!!!!!! Rules ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tremolo reaches a peak in dynamics - all three characters present are extremely tense - and then cuts off to allow for Hollow’s boss battle opening, i.e. Radiance screaming. Team Cherry kindly demarcates each phase of the battle with a Radi yell.

0:43 - 1:39 - PHASE 1: HOLLOW ON AUTOPILOT

Phase 1 opens immediately with Hollow’s leitmotif in bells, but with brass, piano, and percussion backing them up; grand and tragic. In the background the bass section of the orchestra's strings flutter in a repetitive pattern of 16th notes, i.e. Panicky Radi Noises. The violins harmonize with Hollow's leitmotif as it climbs, but then join the rest of the string section in fluttering 16th notes, transmuting what in Pure Vessel is the flute leading Hollow back down (8th notes) to a slightly louder “a” from the backseat.

In actual gameplay, the only attacks Hollow uses are their basic nail skills. Building on grimmradiance’s analysis of the window their attacks provide to their psychology, and pairing that with the Pure Vessel leitmotif booming over the metaphorical loudspeakers, we can tell that this is Hollow reacting automatically to a threat the way that their father trained them to. Their conscious mind might still be making dialup noises at Ghost’s sudden reappearance jumpscaring them with murky childhood guilt and trauma, but that’s only let muscle memory take over. Slash, parry, charge and thrust. Their time spent at bee bootcamp (which we can assume because Hornet was trained at the Hive and Hollow’s form while nail fighting is identical to hers on their shared moves) has served them well.

Radiance, meanwhile, has frozen completely for this combat phase, and contributes nothing here except the anxiety of the string section.

As the strings continue to go “a” the piano (Ghost) and woodwinds harmonize on something between Hollow’s personal leitmotif and the Vessel leitmotif in the backdrop.

However at around 1:29ish, the key changes, building into an overall color change for the Sealed Vessel piece.

1:39 - 2:15 - PHASE 2: SHE’S AS SCARED OF YOU AS YOU ARE OF HER

In actual gameplay, the part of Sealed Vessel used for phases 1 and 2 of the Hollow Knight fight is the Entirety of 0:43 - 2:15, possibly because there’s no easy transition spot like there is between phase 2 and phase 3. But the changes to Hollow’s moveset are clearly tied to this specific part of the piece.

Phase 2 is where Radiance pushes herself past her freeze response and starts trying to hit Ghost. Hollow gains two attacks here, which we can tell are Radi because they’re often accompanied by her crying (a softer and more abbreviated sound than her full scream): These two attacks are the Infection blob blast and the Light/Void pillar attack that hits for a full 2 masks damage (which appear to be Radi’s take on Hollow’s Pure Vessel-exclusive moves, their grabby tentacles & silver knife pillars respectively).

In the Sealed Vessel track, this part of the piece is almost entirely Radiance’s fluttering. The strings start by following the descending motion of Hollow’s leitmotif but in 16th notes, then ratchet up to start spiraling down again while straying further from Hollow’s leitmotif. This section ends in a back and forth between hard blasts in a one-two-(rest)-one-two-three pattern and gasps of fluttering between, with piano and low brass building behind it. Eventually the nervous fluttering of the strings becomes less frequent between the blasts: Radiance is inexperienced with fighting and very very afraid, but she’s also FUCKING PISSED and prepared to defend herself.

The OST version of the piece punctuates the break between the first half of the piece and the second with Radiance’s scream.

2:16 - 4:04 - PHASE 3: “I’M HELPING! :)” SAID HOLLOW; “HOLY SHIT PLEASE DON’T,” SAID LITERALLY EVERYONE

Phase 3 opens with Hollow stabbing themself repeatedly, a movement pattern they repeat throughout the phase. It is shocking the first time you see it, and never stops being horrible and sad no matter how many times you do this part of the fight.

Here, Hollow’s mind has finally come back online after their own freeze response, and they choose to destroy themself and bequeath the duty of sealing Radiance to Ghost. Even if they can’t be the one to make their father proud, they can still make sure their directive gets carried out.

Radiance knows exactly what they’re up to and why, and she reacts to this by completely losing her head and mashing buttons in a panic. This is something we see out of her at the ends of her boss fights too, where she’s feeling too threatened and afraid to do anything but spam optic blasts. In the Hollow Knight boss fight this manifests in two horrifying-looking but easy-to-avoid new attacks: The Infection blob sprinkler and the ragdoll.

Ghost does not react visibly because we're in gameplay, but their horror and grief at their sibling’s choice is echoed in the BGM. The Sealed Vessel piece goes soft and sad, with Ghost’s associated viola leading the bass strings in the Unbearable Vesselness of Being leitmotif. At 2:51 the violin comes in with Hollow’s leitmotif, and gradually the choir appears in the backdrop. The ensemble’s overall dynamics build in a slow crescendo, and at the very end of this segment the other instruments begin to join in.

This segment of the piece is also used in phase 4, which occurs if you don't have Hornet’s help or miss your cue to Dream Nail Hollow. Phase 3 ends when Hollow reaches 0 HP; in phase 4 they are for all purposes already dead. But Radiance manifests an extra 250 HP out of terrified, unadulterated FUCK YOU FUCK THIS!!! even though all she can do is get Hollow to fall on their face trying to slash and ragdoll them around. The BGM continues to play as Ghost absorbs Radiance from Hollow and Hollow’s body loses its shape and dissolves into liquid Void.

And there’s one other place in gameplay Sealed Vessel (Unbearable Vesselness of Being) is used: The Path of Pain, the completely evil kaizo-level obstacle course which presumably featured in Hollow’s childhood training, and behind which the Pale King has hidden his last and most terrible secret—that he had realized on some level that Hollow was a kid with feelings who loved him and wanted to make him proud, and condemned them to death despite it all by using them to imprison and torture Radiance as he’d always planned.

The OST version of Sealed Vessel includes the music for both normal ending cinematics, so we’ll be looking at them too.

4:05 - 4:35: ENDINGS 1/2: NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS

In the BGM for The Hollow Knight and Sealed Siblings endings, the Vessel leitmotif is played by violin, viola, and choir while the cellos and contrabasses—and then the brass bass section too—play a slower version of Radiance’s downward spiral. But once Ghost is pierced by the Black Egg’s chains and Radiance’s struggle to free herself ends in failure, the soprano and bass sections harmonize. The animation zooms out of the temple and the seal reforms. They are stuck together now until the end of Ghost’s life. Hooray.

The OST version of the track immediately segues into the BGM for Dream No More.

4:36 - 5:45: ENDING 3: THANKS, I HATE IT

Here, Hornet’s associated instrument, the violin, plays one long sustained note with a few notes of Ghost’s piano alongside as she wakes up.

TPK’s goddamn flute comes in at 5:00 with his leitmotif overpowering the backdrop Vessel leitmotif on piano while Hornet surveys the carnage: The temple has been destroyed, Radiance is dead, and what’s left of Ghost’s corpse is smeared across the floor. The Void may have taken umbrage with his horseshit and unceremoniously vored him, but the motherfucker still got what he wanted in the end; the Pale King has ended the Infection by completing his genocide of the moths, using the children he abused and abandoned as his proxies, and wasting two of their lives. Can I get a hearty THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the chat.

Given that Hornet herself is canonically unsure if bringing the fight to Radiance is really a just course of action, one can only imagine how she must feel when she sees the cost of that decision.

Our only real moment of catharsis is in this shit situation comes in at 5:13, where the flute gives way to a solo from Ghost’s associated viola, playing the Vessel leitmotif as the Siblings curl up and sink back into the mountain of their corpses. Goodnight, kiddos. You deserved better, and so did literally everyone involved in this whole stupid boss fight.

This is where the OST version of Sealed Vessel ends. Even without the gameplay and story context it slaps, but now that we’ve taken a look at how this 5:45 piece is wall to wall misery and fear on the part of literally every involved character, hopefully it will have even more impact!

#hollow knight #sealed vessel #the hollow knight #the radiance #hk radiance #ghost hollow knight #hk ghost #hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #essay #hollow knight meta

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paint-music-with-me · 3 years

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Man, that ep tho 👀

Now I get why they made an emphasis in ep 5-6 (can't rmr which one) that Phu is blunt and straightforward. Cuz he gon pull this shit in ep8 😔 I'm super mad about his reaction... but at the same time tbh I get it? A slight big problem for me about it is that...how do I put this...the Action part of the story (Sakda's men and the Ghost Hill house) was shoved in too fast on top of his reaction? I mean, it's been growing ik but I guess what I'm trying to say is the scenes/transitions that lead to Phu doing his job (the guns, searching, planning with the other guards) felt very abrupt and out of sync. Emotionally, it felt like something he needed to do to avoid his feelings about Tian's reveal (cuz thats what we're assuming) rather than be another task that he must do and balance his emotions with his job. Does that make sense? I'm not saying he can't do both but visually...it felt off. Visually it felt like an avoidance rather than another thing on his plate that he has to focus on...

I guess where I'm going for is: maybe one transition scene could be that a guard (not Rang/Yod) comes in and tells Phu about new info about Sakda's men. Phu is still pissed abt Tian so he gets all "😤 lets get 'em boys". Maybe Rang/Yod tries to stop him (part of why I wish there was a scene where Yod hears Tian explain death to the kid at the school and maybe vouch for him) bc "yo bro don't u think you're getting too ahead of yourself?" And Phu is all "this is my job, protecting a village, not babysitting a teacher". At least here, there is the distinction or an indication of how he is understanding his feelings and his job. At least for me, anyway 👀

Also! this is purely my defensiveness coming out bc as an audience who is exposed to so much dramatic irony it hurts, ima call out Phu on him being that mad at Tian for LYING. That's the thing that gets me. He out here saying "oh Tian u lied I am disappointed in u" like bruh? Didn't u ask ur officers to lie to the villagers about Torfun's death?? And mind you, a lot LONGER than Tian, more than 7 months? Tian only came to the village 2 months after his surgery bc of PT. So explain that! -> though ofc he is probably projecting onto Tian bc of his own guilt that he didn't tell the villagers himself and so to have Tian do it with this heavy of importance attached to his involvement with Torfun, Phu's emotions rlly got the best of him....but still

Also that fucking pattern of "the 5 times Tian collapsed, and the one time Phu collapsed" like bruh I didn't need that thank yew bye 🤚🙃

Then as much as I'm happy Tian didn't kill Torfun by being the driver, I get where he's coming from with his guilt cuz he still asked his friend to drive the car. Though, what's up with Prem (the friend)? Is he good? Like he was the driver....is he in therapy?? Did he go on an adventure to a rural village where he learns how to cope with his guilt and learn self-forgiveness?

Also can we just appreciate the Best Boy, Longtae??? Like he rlly is Best Boy. Like his POV must be so wild, cuz he was only given one side of the story (not knowing Tian was involved in Torfun's death) and then when the village only got one side, he got both and now he's in a weird position to understand his feelings about all of it. Like imagine your good friend, who you did your best to empathize and understand then tells you something else, a little addition to the story he gave you that was already personal and scary for him to tell. And now you understand WHY it was hard to tell. Like goddamn. And still Longtae went to Tian to talk and understand further Like bro that's beautiful. That's some communication right there dude.

Omg, (Sorry I have so many thoughts hehe) can we also talk about the kid that SNEAKED out of her house to talk to Tian??? Like bruhh she did that!! Though I wish I got to Tian explain death to her, I think that would've been really interesting because of his own personal thoughts. He was so ready to die and then he gets to live because someone had to. I think from there, especially if Yod was there listening, maybe at least two people would start to get a look into how Tian really thinks about himself and the way he sees life. Damn, wish they did that (part of the argument for making Phu's transitions in his job and his feelings a lot better cuz Yod could maybe vouch for Tian idk 👀)

Omg how could I forget about the villagers?? So for me, I don't mind the villagers' reactions too much?? I guess it depends on how Tian specifically said what he said to them (I'm merely thinking of the language barrier cuz the way I interpret the translation could be different from how it actually is). Cuz yeah, I'm sure they have their questions: how did he "kill" her? What happened? Etc.

But the way I see is this: they are catching up on their grief. They are searching for a place in their heart to understand everything that was revealed. Like this dude came in from no where instead of the regular sweet girl that you've come to love and admire and he messes things up and does his best to fix things. He's a sweet knucklehead and you begin to love him too. Then he reveals that the reason why he is alive and in your village is because he was involved in the death ("killed" from the translations) of the sweet girl you've known for idk how many years, def longer than knowing him. And then add on to the fact that he's been staying there for MONTHS. It's a lot to process.

Tbh the best way to sum up their feelings was how that one woman put her hand in front of Tian's face and looked away from him as she passed Tian after putting down flowers. It was perfect because they need time. Emotions are so weird and not so easily one thing or another, especially grief. I'm making this point cuz I've noticed that some ppl have brought up concerns abt the villagers' reactions which is ofc valid. It IS weird how they're reacting, not asking questions, immediately ignoring him. But I would argue thats also a village mindset. I've been there, village people stick together and sometimes the vibe of a village can set the precedent of how they'll feel about a newcomer. So something this big and shocking? Yeah, they ain't gon wanna talk to Tian for a hot second.

Anyway, the ep was interesting 👀 in terms of pacing because the Action came at an odd angle once Tian's secret was revealed. (Omg I also didn't expect Phu to find out at the same time Tian was telling the villagers about his involvement with Torfun) But with the ending they gave, I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW ALL THIS GON ADD UP??? LIKE WHAT ABOUT SAKDA'S MEN??? WHAT ABOUT THE SMUGGLING?? WHAT ABOUT PHU??? WHAT IS TIAN'S DAD GON DO??? WILL PHU WAKE UP??? WILL TIAN LEARN TO FORGIVE HIMSELF?!??! WILL HE BE ABLE TO COUNT 1000 STARS!!?

#atots #a tale of thousand stars #blabber time #sorry if my thoughts are v scrambled #im at work and i wanted to jot my thoughts already #it was wild #and i wanted to cry #but i refuse to show emotion at work #soooo #yeahh #i mean these are merely my opinion and tbh i cant rmr every single detail thag happened prior to this ep #so there may be things thag ive missed or even misunderstood #which i understand #im trying to be coherent in what i understand and yet still informal enough to make mistakes #hopefully i didnt say anything offensive or whatever #fhskshkash #anywayyy

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maddiefriendlovesbilly · 4 years

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Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

#spencer x ghost #jess writes #ishhhhh???????#venturiantale #venturiantale pie #johnny ghost #spencer acachalla #johnny toast #jimmy casket #fred spooker #let me know if you enjoyed this or not it was intense #sr #ship review #ship reviews #vt ships #vt ship reviews #vt ship review #vt sr

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ganymedesclock · 5 years

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Hello! I just recently got HK and I wanted to pick your brain about something. The point of the Knight coming to seal the Radiance is that they're truly hollow enough to do it. That they had no will, no desires, etc. But they clearly display a will and a desire to explore and help the citizens of Hallownest. Even before they see their past and gain the voidheart. Is it just player-game dissonance or does the Knight posses a mind that's not understandable by PK, Radiance, and White Lady?

There’s, a lot of bits to this (and I am about to go to bed for the night so I don’t have time to dig them up) but my longstanding contention, put simply, has always been that PK is an unreliable narrator on the “emptiness” of vessels.

Because the character of the Abyss is not truly empty. If anything, it is abundant, overflowing.

You can, through the game, direct Ghost to behave as something who genuinely has nothing in their mind but PK’s objective. You can ignore everyone who doesn’t physically stop you, disregard anything that you can’t proceed without. There are programmed reactions to this- Elderbug trying vainly to get your attention, Hornet not opening up to you by Herrah’s bedside- and it locks you into the worst ending. You also, taking that run, are given the least information about what’s going on. You basically won’t even know the significance of what you’re doing, but you will be warned of its futility.

To get the better endings- to actually affect any sort of meaningful long-term change in the world, and specifically to better harness and wield the Abyss’s power, you have to direct Ghost to not act like a robot with no feelings. You have to poke around, you have to investigate things, you have to pry deeply into the world and the things that live there. You have to not only express curiosity about the game world, but be stubborn and aggressive about it.

This is not only conflated with more content, more lore- but this is what unlocks the Abyss and renders it onto Ghost’s use. Allegedly, the Abyss is “perfect emptiness”.

But what does that mean to be truly hollow? PK thought it meant a total absence of emotion- and I think in that sense, PK’s the last narrator we should trust. Why? Because, well, PK ruined basically everything- including himself- over his basic inability to understand emotions. PK and feelings are not on speaking terms. PK basically died because he can’t manage his emotions worth jack nor shit.

And it’s Hollow- the, arguably, “failed” vessel- who has strong themes of emotional suppression, of trying to truly Feel Nothing. Hollow, whose void-affinity is relatively weak, but, who, compared to Ghost, has a way better affinity for gleaming, silvery light as exemplified with the Pure Vessel boss fight- silvery light much like the Pale King, mister Terrible At Feelings himself. The exchange at the end of the Path of Pain, to me, is damning evidence that not only did PK know full well Hollow wasn’t emotionless, but he wasn’t emotionless himself; he thought both of them would be fine as long as they personally committed to denying their feelings. It didn’t work for either of them.

Ghost- who, the further you go into the game, is increasingly drummed as Abyss Incarnate, the Lord of Shades? Ghost has feelings. They have regrets. It’s not just player projection- the fact that Ghost produces a shade on death, that they have to grapple and contend with, is in-universe called attention to as that Ghost has regrets- intense, dark, violent regrets- that they are grappling with.

The Void Heart- mastery of the Abyss- does not destroy the Shade. It instead stabilizes the Shade. Arguably, the more “void regalia” Ghost gathers to themselves- the Shade cloak, the void-tinted spells- the more that they actually leak their shade through the controlling, fettering, “have no feelings” mask.

Getting the better endings requires awakening the Dream Nail to its full potential- which the Seer states happens because you are literally gathering others’ dreams to yourself.

I think the true nature of the Abyss’s “hollowness” is not actually lacking feelings, but accepting feelings. Because in a completionist run of the game, rather than a minimalist speed run that the game canonizes to better condemn- Ghost effectively acts as a medium to Hallownest’s restless spirits.

Throughout the game, even as you hone your strength and skills and gain power to affect more and more of the world, you are called upon to listen. To accept. To behold that which people want to show you, want to say, want to confess to someone. Even your enemies; the Failed Champion and Soul Tyrant don’t yield their crop of essence just to being defeated. Rather, you have to hear out what reads very much like their last regrets. They want to clarify themselves, they want to cry out- even into the darkness- that they were alive, that they cared, that they wanted something, that they tried.

This is not a dispassionate act. Being a confessor (and Jiji literally holds that title, being a very void-aligned individual who’s able to call your Shade to you and is very impressed by the Void Heart) is an act of active empathy.

But effective empathy does require not being preoccupied with yourself. You can’t be filled with your own thoughts and feelings if you are letting others’ flow through you cleanly.

Ghost clearly is themselves. They have a part of themselves that they don’t give to anyone, and don’t let anyone else define. Throughout the game, lots of people question Ghost- interrogate or simply remark on their silence, wonder what it’s like to be them, what they feel, what they think.

The message we get heavily throughout the dialogue is that Ghost has opinions and personality- they make decisions we as the player don’t. For example, listening to Hornet in Beast’s Den, she clearly reacts to Ghost giving her a look.

You can talk to everyone holding a delicate flower in your inventory, but Ghost will only show it to some people, and that’s clearly not a decision based only in who asks for it, since you can offer it to people who don’t want it. It’s not player-directed either, outside of the ultimate yes/no prompt and getting the flower there in the first place.

So I think true or “perfect emptiness” in Hollow Knight isn’t the absence of emotion, but accepting it; and basically the idea of being a ‘perfect vessel’ or a true heir to the Abyss’s power is basically a question of how effective of a medium or empath you are. Because that’s not a stripe you earn by Avoiding Attachment or refusing to act in a sentimental manner to people, and actually doing that locks you out of abyssal apotheosis. Instead, the “True path” that empowers Ghost requires an amount of dawdling, poking around, investigating, and above all else engaging emotionally with people that cannot be explained in a being that doesn’t have any thought or desire of their own.

Especially since the Void Heart itself is only accessible if Ghost actually seeks out answers for their own past. White Lady doesn’t tell you that you should or that you must go seek out the place you were born- she just says it’s an option, if Ghost wills it, now that they have the Kingsoul. And while she remarks afterwards that she’s not sure if you feel anything anymore, to me, that suggests that Ghost has transcended, the way White Lady is aware of you using the Dream Nail on her and basically makes sure you don’t get at anything she doesn’t want you to. (and, it’s further confirmation that before the Void Heart, she was picking up feelings from Ghost)

TL;DR I think the Pale King is an unreliable narrator about the true nature of the Abyss because of his own issues with emotional suppression; the true nature of the Abyss is not Without Emotion as much as it is accepting and reaching a state of peace with one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.

#Hollow Knight #readmore #hunter-kole

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dvp95 · 4 years

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quiet on widow’s peak (12)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.2k (this chapter), 38.7k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"You really don't know how to use chopsticks at all, huh?"

Phil ignores Dan's quiet, amused voice to keep attempting capture of the elusive sashimi. Eventually, he gives up and picks it up with his fingers. He pops it in his mouth and looks at Dan, despite all his common sense telling him it's a bad idea.

It's definitely a bad idea. The lighting is lower than in the coffee shop, tinged warm by the candles around the place - thankfully, none of them are on the table where Phil might accidentally elbow one and set the place ablaze - and Dan is sitting right across from him with shiny, smiling lips and dark, sparkling eyes. Phil reminds himself that this is not a date, that he wouldn't ask Dan on a date. Because Phil dates guys.

Well, not so much of the dating anyone at all thing as of late, but the point stands. Phil likes men and he likes everything that's classically attached to men, and he's not really interested in examining his sexuality in further detail at this point in his life. Still. Here Dan is, giggling at his attempts to wrangle sushi and asking about the footage corruption like it genuinely matters to them. Their feet keep knocking into Phil's own, because the table is small and both of them have Slenderman leg proportions. It also keeps happening because Dan seems to have a very hard time sitting still.

Their foot taps along to a beat that doesn't match the soft music over the speakers and their hands gesticulate with every question they ask, every story they tell. It's like they have a day's worth of energy that they've been building up while sitting in a lecture and making Phil a bunch of hot drinks.

"My family aren't big on going out to eat," Phil says, wondering how many times Dan's foot needs to bump his own before he can make a joke about playing footsie. "You're lucky I know how to use a fork and knife."

Dan giggles again. Phil loves the sound of that so much more than he thinks he should be allowed to.

"Lucky me," Dan teases, reaching for Phil's ginger with their own deft chopsticks. Phil considers batting them away, maybe engaging in a chopstick swordfight, but then he remembers that they're in public. "I guess my family didn't go out to eat much either, but that was more about the lack of money than anything else."

For a moment, Phil doesn't know how to respond to that. He's never quite known how to react when people drop things like that in casual conversation. Dan doesn't seem to notice his hesitation, because they're too busy stealing some of Phil's edamame.

"My mum just thought nobody could cook as well as she did," Phil jokes, pulling his edamame closer to him protectively. "At least, that's what she told us. I think she just couldn't be bothered wrangling us."

"You've got siblings?" Dan asks. They sound genuinely interested in the answer.

It's not a date, Phil reminds himself. They're friends, and Dan just wants to get to know him better.

"I've got an older brother," says Phil. "So it was just the two of us, but I've often been told we were frustrating enough for ten."

Dan laughs. "I can imagine. I mean, I don't know your brother, but I bet you started poking your head where it didn't belong a long time before you started getting paid for it." Their foot nudges Phil's again, but this time it seems like it's on purpose. "Bet you were a handful - I know I was. My brother was easy, I think. I was there for most of it, I guess, and he never caused nearly as much trouble as I did, but I think we were head to head in the annoying race."

"I have been informed that I could be a bit of a handful."

"Shocker."

Phil gives in to the urge of doing something silly and tosses an edamame bean at Dan's face. There's no staff looking at them that he can see, and it makes a lovely peal of laughter burst from Dan, so he considers it a win all around.

"Does your family live around here?" Phil asks. Dan's accent clearly isn't local, but their family could have moved at any point.

Something twists in Dan's expression, too quickly for Phil to name it. They settle their chin in one of their open palms, resting both elbows on the table in a way that would have Phil's mum batting at them. "No," they say, strangely slow about it. They seem to be deciding how much they want to say, because they end up shrugging and gesturing around vaguely with their free hand. "Adrian's with our uncle in Austria. No idea where exactly either of my parents are right now, but thank almighty fuck they're not somewhere together."

"Oh," Phil says. He doesn't really know what else to say. This is way out of his depth, not something he's had a lot of practice with talking about. It doesn't seem like it's particularly bothering Dan to talk about it, it's just that Phil has no idea how he's supposed to carry on a conversation with something like 'I'm glad my parents aren't together and I don't know where they live'.

Dan smiles rather kindly, like they know exactly what Phil is thinking and they don't blame him for it. Of course, Phil could be projecting wildly.

"It's okay," they say. Phil doesn't know them well enough to be able to tell when they're lying for sure, but they seem sincere enough. "I've been living on my own for a few years and don't keep up with them much. I go south to see my nana sometimes."

"That's good," Phil says blankly, chasing another piece of sashimi for something else to focus on. The last thing he wants to do is say the wrong thing and make Dan feel uncomfortable being around him.

"Do you get to see your family a lot?" Dan asks.

The question is a normal one, and his family is a topic that Phil usually jumps to discuss, but things are rocky enough emotionally for him right now that he can't even muster up the regular amount of enthusiasm. He shrugs. "I talk to them a couple times a week and see them every few months or so? Martyn lives in London, so I get to see him more often, but he's also like... much busier than I am. Mostly I just stay home with Peej and Sophie and Chris."

"I really like them," Dan informs him. It's more of an announcement than a casual observation, like they think it's important for Phil to know what they think of his friends.

It is. That's very important to Phil.

If this were a date - which it isn't - then Phil would probably crack some jokes about how much less fun they are when he's trying to have a lie-in or make a point of reminding Dan that Chris is flirtatious but harmless.

"I like them, too," he says instead. "They're all so weirdly nice to me that I think they're plotting my death, sometimes."

"I mean, that would get a lot of views," says Dan.

Phil laughs. "I can imagine it now. The mysterious life and death of Philip M. Lester... except my life isn't exactly mysterious, and PJ would not be good at lying to the police."

"You're a little mysterious," Dan says, pouring them both some more tea. They smile when Phil thanks them, their dimple in stark contrast in the lighting. "Not like you're skulking around in the night or whatever - but, listen, you do also do that. I just mean that it's... hard to tell what you're thinking."

"Good," Phil says lightly.

Luckily, Dan laughs like it's a joke. They don't need to be introduced to the exact height of Phil's emotional walls so early in the friendship.

"For example," Dan continues like they haven't been interrupted, "I've noticed that you keep staring at my mug, and I can't tell if it's because you're an insanely jealous Pokémon nerd or if you're trying to figure out what weird animals they are."

Talking about Pokémon is way easier than talking about family or friends or his own shortcomings as a human, so Phil jumps on the topic like he's been handed a life jacket. Dan has a surprisingly deep well of opinions about the games, and Phil starts to really enjoy himself while needling Dan with his own thoughts. Sometimes he pretends like he disagrees completely just to see the way Dan gets passionate, gesturing and getting louder and Googling facts to back their arguments up.

They've got a lot of other media in common, too, and Phil keeps waiting for Dan to not have an opinion on something. It hasn't happened yet. Even with things they haven't watched or read yet, they chatter on about reviews they've seen or theories they've been hearing. The singular time that Phil asks about a film they've never even heard of, Dan grins wide and asks him to tell them about it.

By the time their dinner and dessert and tea are all gone and the staff are starting to give them looks, Phil feels like he's never connected this quickly and easily with someone in his whole life. That's a dangerous thought, but it's also a nice one.

This isn't a date, because this can't be a date, because Dan isn't a guy and Phil only dates guys. Even so, when Phil pays the bill and follows Dan out to the pavement, he feels the bubbling nervousness that he associates with the endings of first dates. Dan walks him to his bus stop, rambling about how Phil must be watching The Walking Dead wrong if he really thinks it's boring. Their cheeks are rosy with the chilly air and the tips of their ears are bright pink. They are ridiculously, unbelievably cute. Phil wishes he could stop noticing details like that, things that are going to make it even harder for him to put that platonic distance between them.

Dan sways into his space a bit when they stop at the empty bus stop, but Phil can't tell if it's on purpose or if Dan is just wiggling around like they usually are.

"This was fun," they say, wrapping up their rant with zero segue.

"I think so," Phil agrees with a little smile. He checks the bus schedule on his phone for probably the fourteenth time today, anxious about missing it or getting on the wrong one or something and having to call his parents with a favour to ask. "And, hey, I'm in town again tomorrow if you want me haunting your place of work again."

Dan grins wide, the streetlights' warmth catching in their eyes and teeth in a mesmerizing sort of way. "I'm not working tomorrow," they say. "But I'd be happy to hang out after my lecture. What are you doing in town?"

"Oh," Phil says, then pauses. He remembers the fierceness in Dan's voice when they told him not to go back to the house by himself. Still, it's not like there's anything they can do to make him stay out of there. "I'm going back to the Wilkins place with my dad's old video camera. It's old, still uses tape, so I'm thinking corruption might not work on it."

"You're going back there by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm going back," says Phil. He raises his eyebrows, daring Dan to keep arguing.

Dan is good at arguing, but once Phil has made his mind up about something, it's going to take a lot more than a persuasive pretty person telling him what to do to make him change it. Normally it would be annoying for someone to even try, but as confident as Phil is in his own ability to out-stubborn anyone on the topic of his own work, there's a part of him that thinks it's kind of sweet for Dan to worry so much. Ugh. He's got it bad.

It seems like some of his resolve is obvious in his expression or the set of his shoulders or whatever, because Dan just sighs loudly.

"Fine," they say. "I've got a Polaroid, I'll bring that too."

That hadn't been a tactic that Phil was anticipating. He's wrong-footed for a long moment or two as he waits for Dan to say they're kidding. "Uh," he says slowly. "You're not coming."

"Like fuck I'm not." Dan's stubborn face looks a lot like a frustrated, pouting toddler, but Phil still feels some of the effect. "You aren't going back there alone, I told you. I'm not letting you. And, sure, I don't know all the tricks of the trade or what the fuck ever, but you need someone to watch your back and make sure you don't stumble into more trouble. I'm your guy."

"You're not a guy," Phil says, because he doesn't really know what else to say.

That breaks Dan's seriousness, and they giggle into their large hand. Phil is already trying to apologise, but Dan waves him off like he's being ridiculous. "First of all," they say, "it's a figure of speech. And second of all, I'm not not a guy."

Phil can't think about that right now. His bus is visible a couple streets away and the last thing he needs is more confusion about Dan's identity on his plate.

"Sorry," Phil says again, just in case.

Dan rolls their eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'm free after noon."

"Well, we won't go over there until after it gets dark," says Phil. "But I'll text you. We can - I dunno. Get something that's not sushi. Or just get sushi again, honestly, because I'm obsessed with it."

"Same," says Dan, dimples in full force. "We'll figure something out, anyway."

Before Phil can say anything else, Dan sways back into his space and gives him a tight, fleeting hug. "Tomorrow," they repeat before pulling away.

"Tomorrow," Phil agrees. His stomach is in knots and his bus is approaching, so all he can manage is a dorky wave before he has to start digging for change and preparing to make small talk with the bus driver. Dan waits until he's on the bus and gives him a two-finger salute before heading back down the way they'd come.

That detail, the fact that Dan had gone completely out of their way to walk Phil somewhere that he'd been vaguely anxious about, is almost enough to undo all of Phil's careful explanations of their actions towards him.

It wasn't a date. Phil hadn't asked them on a date.

But he's certain now, in a way that he's never been before, that he hadn't been the only one half-wishing it was.

Phil can't move.

He's not in the comfortable dullness of his childhood bedroom, where he'd fallen asleep. He's got rough wood under his back and dusty rafters above his head. He can hear the insistent sound of rain hitting the roof, but aside from that the attic is quiet.

He is alone in the Wilkins place and he can't move. For a very, very long time, nothing happens.

Then he feels pressure on his chest that hadn't been there before. He still can't see anything, but it's getting harder and harder to take breaths.

Just when he thinks he's going to pass out from the lack of oxygen, Phil wakes up.

"I've had nightmares about places we've investigated before," he says into the phone, hiding out in the kitchen while his parents watch some early morning news broadcast. He's got his clothes in the wash with some of his dad's stuff, so he's taken up roost at the breakfast bar with some cereal and he's been zoning out while looking at the spin cycle. "But they've never felt like... that."

"Like how?" Martyn asks. He's yawning a bit, and Phil almost feels bad about waking him so early.

"Like, real," says Phil. "I don't know how else to describe it, Mar. It felt like I was really there, like something was really sitting on my chest. I could smell the dust and hear the rain and - it felt real."

"Maybe it's not such a good idea to go back, then."

Phil huffs. "Are you kidding me? This just means I'm onto something."

"No, it means you're making reckless decisions because you want to be right so badly that you're willing to ignore warning signs," Martyn says flatly. "And, sure, maybe that's because there's actually something to investigate there, but is that a risk you're willing to take?"

The Wilkins place has never exactly been welcoming; Phil felt like there was someone watching him from the beginning, like they weren't alone in the old walls. And maybe it's stupid of him to keep going back when things had escalated last time into something he had no control over at all, but he knows he's right about this. That makes it hard for him to let go of it, to admit defeat and go back to Brighton with his tail between his legs.

This is his town. It doesn't matter that he's left or that his parents are leaving, too. These are the hills and the streets and the graveyards and the hospitals that he'd followed Martyn through until he was old enough to brave it on his own. He doesn't like the idea that something so relatively new could run him out of town with a nightmare and some flickering lights.

Maybe he does have something to prove. He doesn't plan on doing anything stupid, but he can at least recognise that the simple act of returning at night is stupid enough for the people who care about him to worry.

"I'll have Dan with me," says Phil.

"Oh, okay," Martyn says like he's found a corner piece in a jigsaw puzzle. "So there's a bloke involved."

Phil wants to say that Dan isn't a bloke, but he's got Dan's voice in his head semi-permanently now. He's pretty sure that Dan wouldn't object to the classification, and might even say that they're not not a bloke. Instead, he just sighs loudly. "It's not about Dan, knobhead. But they're, uh, kind of jumpy. So I won't spend more time in the Wilkins place than I strictly need to, okay? For their sake if nothing else."

"Promise?"

"Sure," Phil says, with far more irritation than he actually feels. If he acts prickly, then Martyn won't push. "Did you find out anything else about this place?"

"Not really," Martyn says through another yawn. "I guess Frankie said that some kids were fucking around with spells or something earlier this year? His sister and her friends got in shit for breaking and entering."

"Spells, okay." Phil pulls his phone away from his ear to make a note of that. "I think that was all the sigils we found upstairs, but I'll look closer at the other rooms."

"Be careful."

"Aren't I always?"

Phil hangs up before his brother can start pulling out any receipts.

#quiet on widow's peak #words words words

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omgktlouchheim · 4 years

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Word Vomit Wednesday - Romanticizing Rejection

Welcome to Word Vomit Wednesday! A series of blog posts where I attempt to process thoughts and feelings around a specific topic or current events that I, and sometimes the rest of the Internet, ruminate obsessively about. All thoughts/opinions/experiences are my own (unless otherwise indicated); I don’t claim anything that I write to represent anyone other than myself.

Recently, I’ve made some more deliberate efforts to create community and meet people now that I’m more settled and steady in Tucson. This need to venture out and start testing the waters led me to sign up for a three-month virtual community that was being beta-tested by my life-coach. The calls were scheduled to happen once a month for two hours with a max of up to 30 people. They began with an exercise to ground us and any anxieties we might be bringing into the call, a brief ice-breaker to get acquainted with one another, then a specific topic that the majority voted for would be presented, either by my life coach or a volunteer from the group that we would build a conversation around. On the last call that we had in November, the topic was about rejection. Mostly around intimate or romantic relationships, although we also got into the ways we’ve felt rejected by others in often small, subtle ways that resulted in big impacts on our lives. Other than discussing those smaller moments I admit, I was not interested in the topic. I couldn’t quite figure out what was so compelling about rejection.

Then, as I do, I started thinking about it. I read a Refinery29 article that talked about the man who invented “Rejection Therapy,” a game where the aim is to get rejected by others to build resilience to the fear of rejection, and watched a TedTalk where another man who took the game and challenged himself to vlog getting rejected for 100 days and how it changed his life for the better. As I thought, and read, and watched I came to an understanding that underneath the blanket of “rejection” seems to be where the issues actually lie. Fear of putting yourself out there. Not wanting to open yourself up to potentially painful situations. Anxious/avoidant/dysfunctional attachment issues. Asking for help or for something that you want or need. Tapping into your own creativity. Setting a boundary. The rejection itself doesn’t seem to be the actual issue. The underlying issue is showing up in the world fully as yourself and the reality that you may have to make some tough decisions regarding your relationships when certain people are not so accepting. Sometimes the fear of rejection is also about how a rejection is relayed. Humans are notorious for responding to others in a multitude of fucked up ways. Ghosting, public humiliation, abuse, torture, condescension/belittling/minimizing, interrupting, ignoring, attacking, defending, stonewalling, projecting/deflecting, lying… the list goes on and on. Given all of this, I feel like rejection and the ways it can be demonstrated is more telling of the source and is imperative information to have for our own health and well-being.

Pain, in and of itself, is important. Not in the bullshit “no pain no gain” way, but in that it is a part of the human condition in the same way that joy, sadness, excitement and other emotions and sensations are a part of the human condition. When feelings come up for us, they present us with data based on internal and external stimuli and it is our job to interpret that data as accurately as possible to then take any action that may be required of us. We can have a tendency to have difficulty when thinking about our feelings this way because in this society we are essentially conditioned to cut off communication between ourselves and our emotions and other physiological sensations our bodies use to relay important messages to us. It can make it very hard, scary even, to retrain ourselves to listen to ourselves. Instead we choose to ignore feelings when they come up, maybe become annoyed with ourselves when uncomfortable feelings arise, binge eat to try to physically shove discomfort down, shop compulsively because we think something external will quiet or “fix” the internal, and develop a variety of other coping mechanisms because we don’t know what to do with them and probably had never been given the space to safely explore what they could be trying to tell us. When pain gets activated either physically or emotionally, it usually means a major boundary has been crossed, or something is wrong and needs to be checked out right away. When we stub our toe walking into the couch going from one room to the next in our house, we learn to pay more attention to our surroundings and adapt. When we’ve been running around from errand to errand all day and our body begins to ache, we know we’ve reached our limit and need to take a break. And when we come down with some illness and are coughing so hard that it hurts to even breathe, we go to the doctor. Because we feel pain, we are able to take charge and make any number of possible necessary changes to our lives. It can become trickier to know what action to take when our feelings get hurt (because it’s both a physical and largely internal response), but really the same principles apply. When someone says or does something that hurts your feelings you figure out what nerve that hit and determine if this is a person you keep in your life and to what extent based on your particular boundaries and needs. Easier said than done, I know.

On the flip side of this, and as the title of this essay indicates, we are not only a society that teaches us to fear pain and any “negative” feelings but we are also one that is OBSESSED with suffering. Everything from our narratives about tragic “starving artists,” the 24-hour news cycle, the internet, the romanticization of drama in our relationships, violence permeates almost every aspect of our culture. There is a huge difference between pain and suffering though. Pain, like I said before, is there to relay a message to us that we then interpret, take action on, and release. Suffering, on the other hand, is something we do to ourselves. We replay old narratives on loops that keep us trapped in emotional purgatory and we take our issues out on others instead of tackling them head on and making difficult but necessary changes in our lives. And sometimes we even allow and cause the suffering of others because we benefit from the exploitation of others. So, it’s entirely possible that it may not even be pain from rejection we’re all trying to avoid, but all pain because we’re already so overloaded with so much pain AND suffering. We are so desensitized to pain in a variety of forms, no wonder our relationship with it is dysfunctional. We may honestly, be too tired to even think about engaging with it. Unfortunately, when we ignore it we allow injustice to flourish and we lose out on so much. Not only do we not see all the choices and opportunities laid out before us, or take risks in relationships, we are so used to fear that we end up rejecting ourselves. Our worlds become so small and we do this to ourselves. And this is the main difference between pain and suffering. Pain releases when we recognize it and take action, suffering is what we do to ourselves by choice even when there are so many other options available to us.

We will often choose to reject and betray ourselves before stepping into the unknown. I am no stranger to this myself. There have been so many times that I had an inkling to do that thing or talk to that person or allow myself to want something and I never would. I would make up some excuse or other and not give myself a chance. “Well, if they’re interested they’ll say something. I don’t want to bother them.” “That sounds like a really cool job, but I don’t think I’m qualified.” “I’m not going to submit this project for the competition, I probably don’t have a shot at winning.” This year I’ve been recognizing many of the ways in which I reject myself, often so subtly, that I barely even know I’m doing it. Because it’s typically modeled and learned behavior and unless we start doing healing work, rejecting ourselves just seems normal. It takes a lot of work just to hear the whispers: “Don’t go out tonight, everybody sucks so it’s not like you’d meet anyone decent anyway,” “Don’t speak your truth because everyone you care about will abandon you,” “You have to hustle or you’ll never be worthy of success or love.” There are probably millions of examples and they’ll show up differently for different people. Not only do we adopt these behaviors and narratives, we let them drive everything we do because we believe they are part of our identities. It’s a lie. The fact is, you get to decide who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world. It takes practice, work, and a lot of self-discovery. We also face many obstacles and various forms of systemic oppression that are so much larger than any one individual, which can also be another reason why showing up as yourself can feel dangerous. As difficult and scary as it may be, it’s also worth it even if you don’t initially know how you’re going to do it or where it’s going to take you.

There’s this game I really like to play on my phone called Flow. It’s kind of like a connect-the-dots puzzle. You have a shape with multiple pairs of dots inside that you have to connect without impeding the other paths of the other connecting dots. What I like most about this game is that once you get one path, the other ones start to become more clear. Flow is all about taking that first step on one path and connecting the dots as you go. The paths are not always linear and straightforward. Sometimes there are twists, sharp-corners and backtracking. But once you start toward something; an idea, goal, etc., worlds you never knew existed start to open up. Toward the end of my studies to get my certificate in audio engineering and production the faculty held a competition for the post-production projects we’d been working on. I hadn’t planned on submitting mine even though I loved it and was really proud of the work I did and how it turned out. The moment I was aware of the competition I heard a whisper that said, “It’s probably not as good as other people’s.” Flash forward: I won first place. After seeing my project, a friend in my class said I should submit it. For whatever reason, I decided to internalize his belief in me and my talent and I went for it. Had I not done that I would have missed out, not only on winning the top prize, but on being asked about my process and being celebrated for something really cool that I did and integrating more self-confidence and the message that I deserve to be in the running for the things I want into my psyche. What I learned from that and other experiences since, is that on the flip side of rejection is courage.

Katie Louchheim would like to wish everyone a very Merry Impeachmas!

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crazynekochan · 5 years

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I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of BNHA, but if you have, could I ask the quirks that DR characters would have? (Basically THH- DR V3)

Of course I did ^^ Though I am currently reading the mange since I can’t watch the anime anywhere

For some of the quirks I stole some of my ideas from the Superhero AU and Powers AU

DR1

Aoi Asahina: Water quirk, where she can manipulate water and breath in it. She would also look a bit more fish like and can also dehydrate faster than others

Junko Enoshima: Extreme emotion control where she can infect people with specific emotions and they can’t feel anything else than that. She always goes with love for her and despair. Once infected it is unbreakable

Chihiro Fujisaki: Hacking, where he can take over any computer system by touching it (He is literally Alter Ego)

Toko Fukawa/Genocider Syo: Alternate Persona, where she gets heightened senses and agility as Syo (is just as OP as Syo is, but also just as unstable)

Yasuhiro Hagakure: Clairvoyant quirk, where he can predict the possible future and many variations. The closer the future is, the higher the probability to it becoming true

Mukuro Ikusaba: Can shoot projectiles out of her body like they were guns. She can however run out of projectiles and then needs a while for her body to produce more

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Overdrive quirk, where strong emotions lets him go into an “overdrive mode” (Ishida) and use more physical powers. Is however very draining

Kyoko Kirigiri: Lie detector quirk, where she is able to tell whenever someone is lying. She can also force people to tell the truth through conversation, but this gives her migraines.Her and Kokichi’s quirks cancel each other out

Leon Kuwata: Fire powers, where he can set himself and his surroundings on fire. The cold weakens his powers

Celestia Ludenberg: Hypnosis, where she can control other people. She however needs to have direct eye contact to activate it and it can be broken by a strong will

Sayaka Maizono: Mind control, where she can make people do her bidding by singing to them. She has to keep on singing to use it

Makoto Naegi: Originally believed to be quirkless until he turned 17. He can produce “bullets” which have various effects on people that get hit by them, from restoring energy and mental stability, enhancing other’s abilities for a specific amount of time, to breaking other mind control quirks (including Junko’s). He can also mentally harm people, but he doesn’t like using it like this

Sakura Ogami: Enhanced muscle powers, where her muscles can produce more physical power than others. Does however need training to maintain

Mondo Owada: Diamond quirk where he can cover his whole body in diamond (Daiya has/had the same quirk)

Byakuya Togami: Highly enhanced analytical abilities with his eyes, which includes finding weak points and mild mind control. Does however cause eye strain

Hifumi Yamada: Can make his own creations come to life. He has to however know how they would work and need a base for them (paper, rock, etc.). The more he creates the more draining it is for him

DR2

Teruteru Hanamura: Slime quirk. His body can reform in any shape he wants. He can also multiply, but he can’t change his mass, thus the more he multiplies the smaller and weaker he gets. Heat makes it harder for him to keep a solid form

Hajime Hinata/Izuru Kamukura: Project where someone quickless had his DNA altered to possess all quirks

Mahiru Koizumi: Light manipulation, where she can control the behaviour and intensity of light. She can also shoot solar beams, but they need time and can burn her hands

Nagito Komaeda: Luck and Misfortune, where he can control the fate of himself and to a degree of other people, by raising his good luck and in return making others experience his misfortune. Though he struggles with his control

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: Dragon quirk, where he can breath fire and has wings with which he can fly. He also has horns and claws

Ibuki Mioda: Sonic explosions, that she can cause by screaming. Can however hurt her throat with too much use

Chiaki Nanami: Copying herself, where she can produce data like clones. However it causes extreme tiredness when used

Sonia Nevermind: Bomb production. She can form explosives out of her body and detonate them at will. She uses a launcher to attack with them

Nekomaru Nidai: Earth manipulation. It does however need a high level of physical strength

Akane Owari: Beast quirk. Looks more like a humanoid beast and the more fired up she is emotionally, the stronger she gets

Peko Pekoyama: Can make sharp blades form on her skin that can cut through almost anything. Can however also cut her skin

Hiyoko Saionji: Air control, where she can move air around her at will. She uses fans to enhance her abilities

Kazuichi Souda: Mind control over machines. He usually needs to touch them at least once beforehand, but high distress can make his powers go out of hand

Gundham Tanaka: Animal shapeshifting, where he can take on the form of any animal and gain their abilities that he touched beforehand. Does however only work on real animals

Mikan Tsumiki: Healing powers, however healing severe wounds can harm her

Imposter: Quirk copying. The copied quirk is however 50% weaker than the original and they can only copy one person at a time. They have to touch the person at least once to activate it

DRV3

Kaede Akamatsu: Music hypnosis, where she can hypnotise people. She does however need an instrument for this, which are all integrated into her costume

Rantaro Amami: Plant control, where he can make plants grow from his body and use them to his will. His powers are weaker in the darkness

Tenko Chabashira: Speedster, where she can move faster than the average human and she uses this for fighting

Gonta Gokuhara: Wolf quirk. He can do everything a wolf can and he has a high level of physical strength

Maki Harukawa: Weaponised body, where she can form weapons inside of her body. The forming of the weapon and possible projectiles takes time. She usually forms a crossbow in an arm and uses real arrows

Ryoma Hoshi: Smoke quirk, where his body produces a smoke that can range from harmless or suffocating if he wants. However it takes a lot of energy to make it deadly and he usually only uses it as a cover or to blind enemies

Miu Iruma: Can attach machine parts to herself and control them like real limps

Kiibo: Is a robot and can be upgraded with weapons

Kaito Momota: Star quirk, where he can turn his body into a humanoid star. He can fly quite fast and is burning hot. This quirk is quite strong but takes a strain on his health to use and can cause him to cough blood and faint

Kokichi Ouma: Mind control, with making people believe everything he says, no matter how ludicrous. His and Kyoko’s quirks cancel each other out

Shuichi Saihara: Phantom shadow quirk, where he can turn into a shadow like phantom. He can also control shadows by taking them over, however this takes a lot of power

Korekiyo Shinguji: Ghost quirk, where he can leave his body for a specific amount of time and possess other objects and people. However his body is then vulnerable

Tsumugi Shirogane: Appearance copying. Can shift into anyone’s appearance and take their place. However she can’t copy their quirk

Kirumi Tojo: Spider quirk. She can do anything a spider can do. She also has 3 more sets of arms

Angie Yonaga: Living paint, where her skin produces an “ink” that she can control at will. It can also change it density, weight and even how sticky it is

Himiko Yumeno: Illusions, where she can create illusions that people fall for. Can however be broken by someone with a powerful will and it causes tiredness for her

#danganronpa #ask #prompt #bnha au #long post #Anonymous

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letterboxd · 5 years

Text

David Lowery Q&A.

“I think everyone in the industry at this moment is saying let’s take a step back and look at what our film sets look like and make sure that we’re not missing out on something.”

Writer-director-editor David Lowery has worked with Robert Redford twice (Pete’s Dragon and The Old Man & the Gun), and helmed A Ghost Story, which has become a much-admired slow-burner within the Letterboxd community.

We caught up with the Texan filmmaker at the recent Big Screen Symposium in New Zealand (organized by Script to Screen) for a lengthy chat about everything from taking Geena Davis’ advice on writing crowd scenes, to the fact that everyone is wrong in thinking A Ghost Story was filmed in 4:3 ratio, and how that film funded his wife’s debut feature, which in turn now sees her directing a stoner sequel to Home Alone with Ryan Reynolds.

David Lowery is a tease. On his laptop, which sits in plain sight, is an up-to-date spreadsheet of every film he’s seen, in what format, and where. (If it’s in bold, he saw it in a cinema.)

Lowery is a prime candidate for Letterboxd membership, and we tell him so. He agrees (“Letterboxd would be my favorite site if I wasn’t a director”), but will continue to hold out. “I love film criticism, I think it’s a beautiful art-form. I make movies to be part of the conversation about movies.

“But it’s also a conversation that, once I’ve made the movie, I can’t partake in anymore. Some filmmakers can read about their own work and are fine with it. But for me, I get too caught up in it and it’s important for me to keep those blinders on and to not engage with the discussion about my movies because I’ve had my say. The movie is what I’ve had to say and after that I find it almost inappropriate for me to continue the discourse.”

So we tell Lowery that, ever since A Ghost Story was released in 2017, the film has made a nice home for itself at Letterboxd, with its fair share of fans and repeat viewers (“That’s amazing to hear!”). We wonder how he feels about the slow-burning reaction to the film?

“I’m doing a lot of press for The Old Man & the Gun right now and going to a lot of screenings, and the common refrain is ‘The Old Man & the Gun’s great but, man, A Ghost Story is something else!” And I’ve become aware that that might be the movie that defines me more than any other and that’s fine because it’s the movie I’m the most proud of. I certainly know that it has struck a chord.”

David Lowery with Casey Affleck on the set of ‘A Ghost Story’.

Letterboxd: In your Big Screen Symposium keynote, you talked about how A Ghost Story came out of a sort of existential crisis in which you realized you might not become the world’s greatest filmmaker, or the best, so you were questioning why you made films at all. A Ghost Story came from wanting to make a small film about what a life means. An act of anti-legacy, if you will. But the film has become accidentally beloved, which means that, in fact, you’ve possibly created a legacy after all.

David Lowery: What a fascinating paradox. I mean the only thing I can say about that is that there’s no way to plan that. There’s no way for me to set out to make a film that will work the way A Ghost Story worked and it would be foolish to try to do so.

All I can do is make the movies the best that I can. I know that The Old Man & the Gun will be beloved by certain people but it won’t have the effect that A Ghost Story did. But I wouldn’t have known that two years ago. I wouldn’t have known that these two films would both function in such different ways. I would have probably assumed The Old Man & the Gun would be the more important one because of Robert Redford being in it. But A Ghost Story was the more important one for me to make, that’s certainly true, and maybe there’s something to be found in the fact that when you feel so compelled to do something it is because the subject matter at hand is more universal than you might understand in the moment.

A Ghost Story is a strange film, in that it washes over you, as opposed to something like Pete’s Dragon which is very much a dive-in fantasy-adventure.

I like to think of my movies as bodies of water, that’s a great metaphor for them. And I really like my movies to be lakes that just sort of ripple outward and sometimes they need to be diverted into streams or rivers or freeze in the glaciers.

Pete’s Dragon certainly is the most propulsive body of water that I have constructed so far in that the story moves along at a certain clip—and it needs to because it’s a certain type of movie. But A Ghost Story is a small pond that a rock got thrown into and that’s a type of experience that I really value when I go to the cinema.

It’s a very, like, wishy-washy metaphor but it really works for me, I really think about the way my movies move in terms of a natural flow and very often those flows calm down to just pure stasis and there’s great beauty in that.

You also made some really specific artistic decisions in the film. Was it shot in 4:3? [Lowery shakes his head firmly.] No?

It’s basically technically 1.33:1 but there’s a millimeter of difference between that and 4:3.

So how do those technical artistic decisions link in with the storytelling?

They were very intrinsic. I think the very first line, let me see. If I open up the script for A Ghost Story… [Lowery fires up his laptop.] I’ve been telling people this but I don’t actually know if it’s true or not… [Opens a draft of the script.] Yeah, so the first line of script says the whole movie will be shot and projected in a 1.33:1 aspect ratio. And that’s been there from the very beginning. So those things are very conscientious. Or, if I go down here, like, let’s see, yeah, like I’m getting very specific about “camera pans left”. “We hold for a long time.” I think there was a draft where I actually wrote that we hold for an entire minute. I get very technical.

Well then, we need to talk about pie.

Yes.

Four minutes of pie. What does it say in the script about that? Does it say “Rooney Mara eats pie for four minutes”?

I mean it’s pretty specific [reading aloud]: “She walks past the ghost, she enters all in black, she goes to the sink, sees a pour-over filter, takes out the coffee grounds, throws them out, turns on the sink, rinses out the ceramic filter, lets the sink run for too long. Then she grabs a fork and knife and returns to the table, cuts a piece of pie and hungrily eats it down and then she eats the rest of the pie straight out of the dish.”

A Letterboxd exclusive! The pie-eating scene from ‘A Ghost Story’ as seen on Lowery’s laptop.

When you’re getting that specific in your writing, what’s going on in your head? Are you seeing it?

Definitely I am seeing a version of it, I mean if you look at what’s written there it describes her sitting down at the table. But when we got it together to shoot the scene, Rooney wanted to sit on the floor and that made perfect sense, emotionally speaking, and so we refocused the scene to that, but even when she was sitting at the table, still the language and the grammar was going to be the same.

What is the process of developing the scene once you have your actors attached? Because once an actor is on board, they bring their own sense of their character to a scene. Once they read the script—no matter when filming starts—the work begins, doesn’t it?

It really does, it really does. I mean, A Ghost Story was so fast that there wasn’t much time between Rooney reading the script and her showing up to shoot that scene, like, it was very quick. A couple of weeks, I think.

Rooney Mara and Casey Affleck in ‘A Ghost Story’.

Why so fast?

I just didn’t want to wait to make the movie. I mean we had one week of prep for the whole film. We planned it around Pete’s Dragon so I knew that Pete’s Dragon would finish on June 10th and I think on June 17th we started shooting A Ghost Story. And here and there on weekends I would fly to Texas to look for the house and then Jade, my production designer, got there a little ahead of time to start fixing the house up because it was in a state of disarray. But certainly there was not that much time to think things through. We didn’t really have a plan in place. We didn’t even have an assistant director until a day before we started shooting. It really came together very quickly.

In a way that’s even more extraordinary in terms of the way that that film is still growing and finding its audience.

I mean it was interesting looking at that page in the script [the pie scene] and seeing how thoroughly descriptive it was—and if you look at the whole screenplay the movie is very close to it. But at the same time we were just fumbling in the dark every single day and trying things out and just really looking to figure out how to make it, how to cut to the core of what we felt we were after. And we could never put a name on that. We never knew exactly what we were after, but we were collectively working towards it.

Intermission: here’s a Letterboxd list of David Lowery’s five favorite ghost films.

During your Big Screen Symposium keynote, you took time to talk through the first scenes of your new film, The Old Man & the Gun, and the long process of finding a strong opening, in which the relationship between Forrest (Robert Redford) and Jewel (Sissy Spacek) is established. You took a lot of inspiration for this from the diner scene in Michael Mann’s Thief.

When you have more preparation time with your actors, how does that affect the script’s development? What is the process between the draft you send them and the final version that gets filmed?

For example that scene in the diner that we talked about yesterday at the panel, that seemed to not change. That was, I wrote it and that’s what we shot, and [Redford and Spacek] illuminated it but they worked with that material.

But then there are other scenes that they had a lot of input on and Sissy, I give her all the credit for a jewelry store scene in the movie that she latched onto early on. It was a very short scene in the script and she saw a way in which to expand it that she felt was necessary for the character. It was 100% right, she was 100% right about that and it’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie—but it wouldn’t even have been in the movie had it not been for her.

Robert Redford and Sissy Spacek in ‘The Old Man & the Gun’.

Presumably A-list actors are often looking for ways to expand their scenes, but for female actors, who continue to be under-represented in strong roles on screen, it’s even more important?

Definitely, definitely, definitely. That’s an interesting perspective. I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. Because I always feel like I’m asking the actors to do too much, like, “that big scene? Let’s get rid of that so you can take a break tomorrow.” I mean, I never do that, but in my mind I always feel like I need to remove scenes so they don’t have to work so hard. I always want to give them a break because they’re doing so much.

But certainly, especially a movie called The Old Man & the Gun that’s about men, it was great to find any opportunity in that film to give precedence to the female characters. And so I’m so thankful that Sissy took that opportunity. She has great scenes in the movie. She’s in quite a bit of the film but she really used that scene to define who her character was for her. And then because it worked for her it works for the audience as well and for me.

Spacek and Redford in ‘The Old Man & the Gun’.

You also talked a bit about making sure that not everybody on your set looks like you. Would you elaborate on that?

I mean it’s certainly something I took for granted for a long time, it just wasn’t something I thought about and I certainly wasn’t working entirely with men. I’ve been surrounded by wonderful female collaborators since day one, but I think everyone in the industry at this moment is saying let’s take a step back and look at what our film sets look like and make sure that we’re not missing out on something. Missing out on the opportunity to collaborate with people who have different perspectives or can bring something new to the table and who might not have had those opportunities in the past because there is a tendency to just go for what’s familiar. You go for what feels familiar and often what feels familiar is yourself.

So, in spite of the fact that I have always worked with wonderful women and wonderful collaborators who I would never want to make a movie without these days, I definitely am looking at the wider body of our crews and making sure that they’re reflective of the world around us. I think that’s what everyone is doing and that’s a beautiful thing.

And I’m not perfect in it, no one is, but to just all of a sudden have that be part of your process when you’re putting a movie together is very… it’s a wonderful thing. It’s a really exciting thing because all of a sudden you just see the ways in which your movies are going to get better.

Do you write it into your scripts or do you say to your casting agents, “Anyone, this could be anyone”?

I say “anyone” but I’ve also learned that it’s important to write it into the scripts too, because there is that tendency with casting—and it’s nothing against the casting directors—but they assume [that because] I’m a white guy that I’m going to want to see a bunch of white people. So I’m now very consciously writing into the scripts making sure that there’s that diaspora represented on the screen as well.

I wish I could just say it’s open to anybody but I found that if I don’t inject that into the screenplay then I’m only going to see a certain number of actors who all look a certain way. Maybe if I want to be truly color-blind I would in an ideal world not have to do that, I would just see everybody, see actors of all ethnicities, of all creeds, of all colors and I’d get to pick the best actor. But that’s not where we are right now and it’s very helpful in terms of moving the needle to actually go into the screenplay and make sure that you specify that someone is not Caucasian. Or even “not male”.

In The Old Man & the Gun there are a lot of characters in the movie who in the script were ‘bank manager number one’, ‘bank manager number two’, ‘bank manager number three’, and something that was very important for me to do was to give them all names, and then as we were casting to never bring in actors for any specific part. I just said bring in a bunch of actors, I’m not going to tell you who they’re for I just want to meet a bunch of people. And in doing that I met lots of men, women, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, I met everybody.

And then I could just start filling the cast in that way but I just never had people audition for any specific role because that way you free yourself from those expectations and no one knows who you’re bringing these actors in for. The casting director doesn’t know who you’re actually looking at them for and the actors don’t know either and so it just liberates you a little bit. You can’t do that for every part but it was really great on Old Man & the Gun to be able to do that and it’s beautiful to just fill a movie with people who don’t look the same, there’s just something so special.

It’s possibly making a bit more work for yourself?

It does, but that’s good work. It’s good work. Geena Davis said something about how when you write, in terms of getting more women on screen, when you write a crowd scene just write into the script “50% of this crowd is women”.

And that is one of those things that you wish you didn’t have to do but it makes everything work, it makes it so much easier because then the assistant director will read that and was like, “oh we need to have 50%”. They’ll take it literally because that’s their job, to take everything literally and then you wind up with a crowd scene of extras, 50% of whom are women.

And does also reading something like that flip a switch in your brain that maybe wasn’t flipped?

Definitely. I mean it’s very important to be open about the fact that that switch had not been flipped, I just took for granted the fact that I work with a lot of great women. But I certainly never thought about it in a cultural perspective and I never thought about from a woman’s perspective. But now I am and I feel like I’m a much better person for doing so.

Lowery and Redford on the set of ‘Pete’s Dragon’.

A nerdy question: in your wildest dream when you began being a filmmaker could you have imagined making not one but two films with the great Robert Redford?

No. But also because when I first started making movies those weren’t the movies I was interested in, you know? I wanted to make, from an early age, Star Wars movies, so I didn’t even become aware of Robert Redford until I became aware of the Sundance Film Festival when I was 11 or 12 or 13.

And so for me the goal was always to be associated with him through his festival. The goal for me to be a part of what he’d created. His films came later. I got to know him more as a director than as an actor because I saw A River Runs Through It and Quiz Show, I think the first thing I saw him in was The Horse Whisperer. It was only later that I got to know all those early classics. I saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid shockingly late in life… So working with him twice now I recognize the weight of it but it certainly wasn’t on my checklist of things to do. It’s really been a nice surprise to fall into alignment with him in the way that I have.

What’s the best thing about working with him? What do we not know about the way that he works that you would like people to know?

I feel like everyone sort of expects this and it’s not going to be a surprise but that it’s just so laid back and fun. He just really likes to have fun. He's very, very playful and that twinkle in his eye that we know and love on the big screen is there when you're working with him because he loves doing what he does. And he doesn't take himself seriously. He takes the work seriously but he doesn't take himself seriously and neither do I and so I think one of the reasons we get along so well is because we both are just having fun doing it.

Intermission: here’s David Lowery’s five favorite Robert Redford performances (plus one more).

You directed one of the great recent live-action family films, Pete’s Dragon. What are your earliest movie memories?

Well, I grew up without a television. My parents wouldn’t let us have a TV and so my earliest memories were going to the cinema and I saw Pinocchio and E.T. Those were the first two films I saw and I was obsessed with them. But I didn’t have a way to watch them again so we’d go to the library and at that time you could get storybooks of movies like Star Wars or for E.T. there were storybooks that had lots of photographs in them and so I would just get those books and read them repeatedly. I didn’t even see Star Wars for a couple of years after I had become aware of it. I knew the entire story but it was just through the books.

And finally one day my grandparents taped it off the television and showed it to me. I finally got to see it but I knew the whole story backwards and forwards at that point.

I remember wanting to see Clash of the Titans. I was really into Greek mythology and so I knew that Clash of the Titans was a Greek mythology film and had Medusa in it and so finally we rented this TV and VCR and I went and got Clash of the Titans from the video store and just watched it four times. Like, I just watched it over and over again because I knew that I only had that one weekend to see it.

When you were making Pete’s Dragon was there a sense that you wanted kids to have a similar experience?

Definitely. I just really tried to make a movie that I would have loved when I was seven. That was the barometer. I feel very in touch with me as a seven year old! I feel like I ceased to mature at the age of seven and so it’s not hard for me to tap into that mindset and I just would think about the things that I liked and often what I liked at seven years old were the movies that would scare me. Or that would provoke some emotion in me that I didn’t know how to handle.

I was terrified of Ghostbusters. I had seen the beginning of it at a friend’s house and it terrified me but I couldn’t stop thinking about it and so that was like a really exciting thing to me. The idea of finding that balance of fear and scariness to inject into a movie that would have hooked me at that age, even though it would also have traumatized me to a certain extent. And then also making sure that it was a movie that I as a 37 year old would also really, really like.

Angela (Maia Mitchell) and Jessie (Cami Morrone) in a scene from ‘Never Goin’ Back’, written and directed by Augustine Frizzell.

Since we’ve talked quite a bit about women in film, could you please pimp your wife Augustine Frizzell’s new movie?

Never Goin’ Back? It just came out in the States on Amazon Prime, I think it’ll be on DVD at Christmas. It’s based on her life. When she was 15 she moved out on her own with her brother and just had the most uproariously ridiculous experience as a young, underage teenager living on her own as an adult and it could have gone horribly wrong. It involved everything that you have seen in movies like Thirteen, where it’s just drugs and darkness and terrible things, but for some reason not only did she emerge from it unscathed but she looks at it with a sense of humor.

So she wanted to tell her story as a comedy as opposed to being the typical cautionary tale for young people. She was like, “We were really having a lot of fun back then. We were doing things we should not have been doing but it was a lot of fun, we were being idiots but there’s something glorious about that and the fact that I emerged as a fully formed adult who hasn’t killed too many brain cells, there’s something valuable about that.”

And so she wanted to make what is essentially a Superbad-style comedy for teenage girls. Some of the things that she did I am just like, “Seriously? That really happened and you are the person you are now?!”

And it’s great… I could go on with the long version.

Go on! We are all about husbands using half their interview time to talk about their wives.

She made the movie in 2014. Just jumped right into it, she got a grant the same way I got a grant from the Awesome Film Society to make my first film St Nick. She got a couple of grand together and made a version of the movie that she wasn’t happy with.

She made it right before we came here to New Zealand [to make Pete’s Dragon]. So she finished it, got on a plane to New Zealand, edited it and I remember around Christmas of that year watching the first cut. It was good, there was good stuff in it, but she was not happy with it. She felt like she hadn’t quite done what she wanted it to do. And so we started talking about re-shooting part of it or re-shooting the things that weren’t working.

And at a certain point she just decided, “I’m going to remake the entire thing. From scratch.” So she turned the feature that she had made into a short film.

And that film placed at SXSW and a couple of other places, and then she rewrote the script and recast it and when we made A Ghost Story and sold it to A24, we took proceeds from that and just put it right into her movie and used that to pay for her film. So she made the same film twice and the second time it worked, it was exactly the movie she wanted to make.

And now she has a career as a director and she’s about to make a Ryan Reynolds movie. It is a sequel to Home Alone. The working title that was announced under is Stoned Alone.

And, like, that is nothing that she could have ever planned for but because she’s a female director who made a really bawdy comedy, people reacted to it in a way that they wouldn’t have had a guy made that film. And I’m her husband so it’s easy for me to say this, but I’m just so proud of her for sticking to her guns, realizing that she could do better, making the film a second time and she’s reaping the rewards of having stuck to her intuition and not put a lesser, inferior version of the film out into the world.

As a collaborative partnership, you also did something really important, which is reinvest the money from your film into her film.

Our marriage luckily is founded on a mutual love of movies and so every decision we make about everything comes back to that love of movies. So it just made sense that if she had a movie she wanted to make I would do anything I could to make that happen. And that was one really efficient way to make sure her movie got made more quickly.

I’ve read the script and I don’t want to say too much about it, but as a fan of the first two Home Alone movies, I think this is a great follow up.

Because we’re at an event that is all about story and script, whose scripts have you studied closely or do you go back to again and again?

I go back to scripts that feel really messy, so I love Paul Thomas Anderson’s movies. He’s my favorite filmmaker but I also love his screenplays because they are just full of mistakes.

The Punch-Drunk Love script was published with all of the revised pages so it’s this multicolored document, and you see in that the process of revision that he goes through, and the process of intervention. It’s full of typos and they are so sloppy, but you see the things that matter to him like the fact that he will always randomly imprint that he’s dropping what lens he wants to shoot a shot on.

The Phantom Thread screenplay is also full of typos, and I read an interview with Daniel Day Lewis where he said that he loves the typos and tries to incorporate them into the dialogue. So if there is a typo in the dialogue he’ll make that part of the character because it just amuses him so much that the scripts are so sloppy.

So those are scripts that I like to go back to, just because it’s refreshing to look at something that is not perfect on the page. Out of that miasma they’re able to pull these movies that are just so, in my opinion, brilliant.

It shows a process where he’s obviously in a hurry to get the ideas out rather than to get them perfect.

Yes exactly, exactly. He doesn’t spend too much time polishing it. He just gets it out there on the page, he’s like, “we’re going to be able to make a movie from this document, but this document itself does not need to be perfectly refined. The refinement will come later.”

Last question: A24. Letterboxd members love the indie film production and distribution company. What have you personally gained from being in “the house of A24”?

I guess a lot of cool points, maybe? I don’t know! As someone who is a fan of studio logos there’s always like this certain thrill you get when you see a logo appear on screen that promises something. And you don’t have that that often any more. I feel like there was a period where like Lionsgate used to do that. I remember the old Lionsgate logo that was just the constellation. And you knew it was going to be a certain type of movie. There was like this really weird Canal Plus one that had these weird sounds and it was very strange.

So with A24, in spite of the fact that they make so many different types of movies, they all are within a certain scale. A scale that allows for there to be something, not subversive, but just surprising. They can take more risks and so even if you don’t know what the movie is, you know there’s a possibility for it to go in a direction that you can’t anticipate and that’s exciting.

They also are just very creative about how they get the word out about their movies and that contributes to that sense of culture. I don’t have much social media, I have Instagram and that’s it. But I know they’re very active on social media, and they don’t take themselves too seriously and they make everyone feel part of that. They’re very inclusive.

And so it’s easy to feel as a film fan, not just as a filmmaker, but as a fan, that you are part of a movement when you go see one of their movies or when you talk about one of their movies. There’s a scary aspect of it which is you wonder how long it can last? Because as a company they’re going to need to grow and I know because I’m continuing to make movies with them that they recognize that themselves, and are looking for ways to do that without changing what makes A24 so exciting.

I feel very grateful to have a front-row seat as a fan to see how they’re continuing to make movies, how they’re continuing to evolve, and I look forward to being part of that process myself.

Our thanks to David, Big Screen Symposium and Script to Screen. Here are seven recent films from filmmakers that David Lowery thinks you should watch next.

#letterboxd #interview #director #filmmaking #david lowery #robert redford #sissy spacek #a ghost story #a24

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divinationcentral · 3 years

Text

General Reading.

Main Energy: Ten of Pentacles, Ace of Wands

Well, in your everyday life, things seem to be going pretty okay. That said, you still have a new beginning coming into play.

When we say new beginning as Tarot readers, we are referring to something new that you will be starting that creates change in your everyday life.

Think: if you have an idea to start something new, then you now have the determination/passion/creative insight to do so.

Or: you get word that you have been selected for an interview.

Or, something as simple as: you’re starting a new creative project which is going to yield you positive results. Whether that concerns your finances or not. Like, maybe you just do this thing for fun, and somehow it’s now creating a stable income for you.

Imagine that you meet someone new? They spark an interest or passion, lust attraction - whatever it is - it drives you to do something new. It gives you incentive to initiate something new.

Whatever it is - it adds to your current luxuries. The Ten of Pentacles refers to having stability in the home. Your foundation is good, and so you’re able to start something new and focus on it. But now it’s about creating something that you can look forward to (like a future; it’s going to be preparing you for the future in other words, so don’t take it lightly).

Spread:

Six of Swords

Five of Swords

Page of Swords

Closure, release...first words that come to mind. You are walking away from an obvious defeat. Something or someone that has victimized you. And it’s not fair, I understand.

Walking away is the best thing you can and will do for yourself.

You may have been skeptical at first, but now you are sure: they just played games with you. And it wasn’t even necessary. All these individuals (or singular if it’s just one), did this on purpose.

Trust that karma has its way of finding its injustices, and rights them in its own time when they are wrong.

Let me give you an example of this (because I am not perfect):

I once hit a car, yes, I did. It wasn’t while driving, it wasn’t while someone was in it. It was parked.

A couple with children was walking in front of me while I was trying to park. They couldn’t decide whether or not they wanted to cross, so I was unsure about whether or not to pass. When I finally did, I was so unfocused, I scraped the car next to me.

I drove away, out of sheer instinct and fear (I had a new car, I was already paying so much on it, on top of having just gotten the car insurance, which was a super high payment, my driving record was set to start over, so it would go lower - so I did have a motive for not staying, and it was an incorrect one, because I was being selfish).

No one saw me, it never came up again.

Did I get away scot free? Yes, and no. Guess what happened to me after this? My car got towed, cost me almost 400$ to get it back. Had I just stayed there and reported it - most likely wouldn’t have cost me this much in retrospect. Maybe a couple dollars more on my insurance payment. I’m sure that’s how much it would have cost the owner of that car to get the scrape fixed and removed (it wasn’t bad, but it was a pretty bad scrape from the look of it).

Karma finds a way to circle back around to each and everyone of us.

It will get us all in the end.

This isn’t a threat. Nope. A lot of people like to use the name of Karma to cause threats.

I’m asking you to clear your conscience. Say sorry to whoever you need to say it to. Say thank you for something that you need to say thank you to.

You don’t have to say it directly to somebody, but say it to somebody. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge the good deeds of others. Acknowledge the help you’ve received, if any. Forgive your circumstances, forgive those involved. Have the sight of someone who sees a big picture. Not because you’re trying to clear yourself of anything, or forgive someone for the sake of forgiveness (because lets be honest, not all people deserve our trust or companionship), but acknowledge that it happened, and acknowledge your place in it.

Tell yourself: I will do better. OR if you did nothing at all, that someone will take this into account, and will do better alongside you. It’s bound to happen. Things are bound to change, but seeing the big picture allows you to clear yourself from all the clutter and go “I don’t need to be in this mess, I don’t need to stress about this anymore, how do I remove myself from it? What actions can I take that will resolve this now?”

Reflect on your misdeeds, your positive deeds...take them all into account and say: I have responsibilities. I am accountable for all my misgivings, but also for all my good qualities. I help people, and people depend on me (someone has to). I am doing everything in my current capabilities to live justly. But, I could use some guidance.

I am human, and I make mistakes. I forgive myself for that, and am grateful for all my blessings.

Release attachments to things that have been long overdue. Understand that we are all connected to each other someway/somehow, and that people who pretend to be good, do the most harm, and exact the most punishment (not because I said so, but because that is the truth).

Don’t lie to yourself. Be honest, and live from this moment on, unbothered by the inconsistencies of someone’s nature. Accept they are who they say they are at face value, and when they present differently - accept that too. Use it as knowledge to make a conclusion, give yourself closure, and just “leave it to God” as they say, if you can’t just leave it to the logic to say “You know what? That is just a bad person, for whatever reason - they hurt me.” And the person may not have intended to. Accept the truth, and walk away. That person has to deal with their own karmic misgivings. Whether they apologize to you or instead choose to pay the price or keep on lying/stealing/cheating/hurting - is none of your concern (it’s not your business, unless you want to continue to associate yourself to someone that has mistreated you, and may continue to).

What you choose to do, and whether you accept a person’s apology or welcome them back into your life: again, is the power of choice. The power of acknowledging your part in what happens moving forward (be that good or bad). It’s not about blame, but understanding that you can make mistakes with the greatest of intentions. And it’s not solely based on what you do, it doesn’t rely just on you, but also the other person involved. Will they tell you the truth? Are they going to act from a place of sincerity? Will they treat you better? Are they going to change their behavior?

Clear your conscience. What did you do to partake in what has happened? Let it go. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other party if you have to (but this is mainly if the offense is forgivable - otherwise, forgive yourself for any guilt you might be feeling, regardless, because it does happen; we can feel guilty for something we didn’t do).

Don’t become the same cruelty that hurts you if that’s not who you intend to be. Live as honestly as you can.

Move away from things that no longer concern you. Ask yourself if there’s still something you’re holding onto (whether it’s about this situation or things of the past). What are you holding onto about it? Is it the reason you keep going back to this thing? Is it really going to be benefitting you in the long run? Especially if the situation or the person (and their motives) hasn’t changed? Now, of course you won’t know this unless you take a risk. But people provide you evidence. Without wanting to - they reveal their nature when you are better at discerning what is truth/fact, vs. what is a “promise.” Hold people accountable to their word if you have to.

Past failures, people’s “good word,” an opportunity that has passed, regrets, hang ups - all of it. Try and release it now. What good is it doing you to reminisce about the past when it’s no longer here for you? When it can’t provide you answers, when it won’t tell you what to do next.

Use your own judgement.

You remain tethered to those ghosts, and so remain tethered to a world of failure (or whatever it is that is plaguing you constantly since this has happened). Nothing changes, surprisingly, because you don’t want it to. Not really. Not yet.

Stop the actions you are taking that are getting you nowhere, and reflect.

What can I do differently this time around? You don’t have to remain attached to the situation you don’t want to be attached to, but you have to release the expectation that it’s going to change or that you’re going to get fairly compensated for it (be that emotionally or monetarily, because it’s weighing you down, very personally). Because if it has not changed, chances are you need to search for something better at this time. Or at least move on from it to gain some peace of mind and obtain clarity.

The sooner you can do all of that - the sooner things can change, improve, and even begin to make sense.

Right now you’re too focused on what hurts - who or what hurt you.

Example: What are you trying to obtain right now?

Financial independence? What is the blockage? And I’m not talking about the obvious immediate one (I can’t get a different job, I can’t because of XYZ, whether xyz is someone in charge or otherwise, because that’s shifting responsibility and giving power to someone or something else and not you) - I’m talking about the subtle stuff.

Are you feeling guilty for wanting more? Why? Why do you need this financial independence? Who is it affecting you from achieving it? Why? What are they saying to you? What are your beliefs regarding this situation? Do they serve you?

Are you telling yourself a lie? What’s the real reason behind what you want right now? Are you trying to leave your home? Are you trying to get away from a nagging boss? Is there resentment, is there a part of you that clings on to the possibilities too much? Is there something else holding you back? Fear of the unknown, a scapegoat of some sort, like using your situation as a crutch, so you remain in a comfort zone?

Those things. It seems really irrelevant, right? But it’s the purpose behind what you are wanting.

That purpose needs to be free of attachments. What you want just comes to you easier that way. Because you align with it when you’re ready (and being ready means that you will be responsible for what you want to have - it isn’t always something we can actually do, we have to take that into account).

What you want has to provide you some sort of benefit, right? Think about that benefit, and only that benefit.

Help yourself get rid of the insecurity that has become attached to this thing. Like worrying about the worst thing that can happen if you don’t get it.

Be honest about the short comings, and accept that there is a better way to ask for something.

Are the actions you are taking now consistent with the reasons you want this change?

This will help you achieve it much more easily.

Stand behind your resolve, and don’t regret anything.

And let me just say: you had been right to move on. It was the obvious decision. Now it’s about balancing your life to become more justly rooted in the present, to what you believe in, so you can gain back what you lost from this.

Once you are at a stable place (meaning you are no longer constantly worried about this, or the bad situation has left your life and you are now comfortable again, in a place of stability, where you don’t feel this lack or inconsistency in your life) - you can make change, and you will have opportunity for that change.

Don’t grumble about it. Don’t ask yourself why. Let it go, leave it be, whatever phrase you want to agree with. This isn’t about losing. It’s not even about winning.

This is about you becoming the person (or thing, either one) that you want to be. You are simply aligning your actions to who or what that is, now.

You are aligning yourself to who you are currently, actually. Your actions will reflect that.

If an outcome is not the way you expected it to be: who is the real culprit?

Face that with the utmost sincerity, honesty...And I need to remind you: I’m not talking about assigning blame.

I’m talking about clearing your conscience, so you can become everything you say you are going to be moving forward. You need to release the attachments. So you can accept the consequences with grace.

You make it easier on yourself, and things can come and go with ease.

No delays. No holding onto negative thinking patterns (yes, they are patterns we can put ourselves into that don’t even need to be applied to our current situations; it’s like a memory, we can default to it when we are unsure or insecure about ourselves). Defeat that uncertainty with affirmative action and decisiveness.

Decisiveness comes with confidence. That confidence comes from the ability to be willing to make mistakes, and the ability to accept when you are wrong about something.

Only then can change truly happen.

Make time. Make space for what you’re wanting.

If the old situation isn’t or wasn't’ working...? What is there to doubt about it now. Move forward. You are going to be in a more stable place once you do.

What are you currently telling yourself? Does it help you?

(Does it actually help you?) (Does it hurt you to maintain a facade?) (Be true to yourself, first and foremost; honesty)

#general reading #tarot

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rosezure · 6 years

Text

Angel of Darkness Pt.2

Welcome to Part 2 of Angel of Darkness. First of all, thank you so so much for reading, it means a lot to me. Second of all (idk if this expression exists but oh well!), I hope you enjoy this part.

Summary: A year after the Accords fiasco, Tony reaches for the phone Steve had given him and dials the number he had memorized during sleepless nights. As much as he hated to admit it, only he could help them now. A new threat had appeared and he knew they would need all the help they could get.

Warning: Swearing, violence, mentions of rape and molestation, blood and gore, mentions of panic attacks, depression, suicide, and anxiety.

Disclaimer: I used Google Translate for the Russian words so they may be wrong. I apologize in advance.

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING MARVEL RELATED.

______________________________________________________________

Tony tried using whatever information the UN provided, but nothing came up. That is, until he thought enough was enough and hacked their system to search for files containing any suspicious data.

Once inside their main system, he froze completely as his eyes landed on a file named Nazi Germany- Science Projects. Why would the UN keep a file on all the science projects led by Nazi scientists? As far as he knew about scientific ethics, these files shouldn’t even exist anymore.

Nonetheless, his curiosity got the best of him and he opened the file to read through every one of their documents.

The content Tony read about could be used for over hundreds of R rated horror movies. He felt sick just by the prospect of these experiments actually having been conducted on innocent people. Hell, he couldn’t even imagine the world’s worst criminal going through that sort of pain and torture.

It was inhumane beyond belief.

His eyes stopped at an encrypted file. He narrowed his eyes and ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y to break into it. The AI successfully managed to overpower the file’s firewalls, but had some trouble bypassing the codes. Tony had to do it manually.

Once they had managed to open it up, Tony froze once again.

The file was named Shadow Project. There was a picture of a petite young woman with wide, fearful eyes, pouty lips, freckles, high cheek bones and wild curly hair. His eyes widened in horror at the information he read:

Subject: Luz Vitória Sousa.

Objetive: Produce the perfect asset.

Head of Experiment: Doctor Johann Schmidt.

Experiment Procedure:

Subject was submitted to hypnosis and psychological conditioning in order to be under complete control of its handlers.

A new machinery developed by Doctor Zola was used during the procedure. Its neuro-electric waves erased all emotionally linked memories, leaving behind only the essential and necessary ones to be then molded to the handlers needs.

Subject was then submitted to intense physical training. It was taught hand to hand combat, various forms of martial arts and knife throwing. The Subject’s petite body demonstrated great flexibility and balance.

It was also noted that the Subject’s weaknesses were near impossible to notice. However, all signs of weaknesses were extracted by Doctor Zola’s machine.

Subject was successfully induced with Doctor Zola’s super-serum. The Subject possesses enhanced senses, super-human strength, stamina, and immunity to 95% of the known diseases.

In addition to the serum, Doctor Zola and Doctor Schmidt created a serum that enabled the Subject to produce and control a substance known as Dark Myst. Subject’s body was injected with the serum and successfully accepted it.

Subject’s Triggers for Compliance:

The Subject is conditioned to comply after triggered by a series of words and circumstances. To achieve maximum cooperation, follow the instructions bellow.

The handler should recite the following sequence of words, each one perfectly pronounced:

1- помощь (aid)

2- призрак (ghost)

3- восемнадцать (18)

4- наступление ночи (night fall)

5- маяк (Lighthouse)

6- девять (9)

7- надежный (trustworthy)

8- семья (family)

9- один (one)

10- убийство (murder)

The asset must be kept in a locked up room with loud music playing during the entire compliance procedure.

Asset will say Я готов ответить (I am ready to answer) when ready to comply.

If the handler chooses to only say the words, the asset will only comply to simple orders. If the handler chooses to only provide the correct environment, the asset will be set on a blind killing spree, taking down targets that would be considered threats to its dormant conscious.

Results of Experiment:

Subject has been successfully transformed into the perfect asset. All tests have shown it can no longer age or degenerate.

Tony continued looking through all the available files that made reference to this Luz Vitória Sousa. He was determined to learn as much as he could about this mysterious young woman.

Tony Stark would bet one of his suits that the woman in the files and the woman they were told to hunt were the same people.

That is until one of the files seemed to be abruptly cut off. He was taken back, to say the least. He read it over and over again, making sure he didn’t miss a single detail. Unfortunately, the file simply ended mid-sentence. Whatever this project was, it had clearly been stopped by some superior force.

Something in his gut told him the woman had something to do with it.

Surely enough, the incomplete file was the very last one inside the Shadow Project archive. This couldn’t be a coincidence. And so, Tony’s brain began working in overload, running various scans on the picture of the enigmatic woman to see if anything popped up.

A teenager named Luz Vitória Sousa appeared on one of his screens, but the picture looked slightly older than the one he saw on the file. The girl looked like a younger version of the frightened woman he read about.

What seemed strange was that Luz Vitória Sousa was a bright Brazilian student who had mysteriously disappeared during her exchange program in the US. The files he read indicated that the woman they experimented on was found in a small village in Germany.

The teenager’s picture was attached to a news article.

Luz Vitória Sousa was an exchange student at George Washington High School, Brooklyn, New York City, from November 1934 to May 1935, when she disappeared under mysterious circumstances and was never found.

A body was never found and her family made no attempt to search for her. What caused even more suspicions was the fact that there was no diplomatic discussion concerning the case between The United States of America and The Federative Republic of Brazil.

Until this day, her case remains open in the State Police Department of New York City.

The news article was from 10 years ago, meaning her case was open for 71 years. How was that even legal? Tony asked himself. He read it again, pausing once something clicked inside his genius brain.

Brooklyn.

Steve Rogers was not expecting his (ex) friend Tony Stark to call him so soon. Sure it had been a full year since the political disagreement they had- more like war -but if he knew Tony, and he knew him, it would have taken him more than a year to make contact.

So, when the old piece of technology beeped to life, he couldn’t help but be startled. Who wouldn’t?

“Hello?” He answered gingerly.

“I need your help.”

A/N: DUN-DUN-DUN! Ooooh! A cliffhanger (sort of)!

I know it’s really late since I had basically promised I would post this part some time during the weekend (which was almost a week ago, yikes!). Uni has been just eating up my time, my professors need to chill and I need vacations.

I hope you guys enjoyed this. There wasn’t much action, but there was a lot more of Tony and his endless research, which I found quite entertaining to write, surprisingly. Anyways….

Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for Part 3!

#marvel avengers #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #avengers x oc #avengers series #avengers fic #angels of darkness series #marvel avengers fic #avengers x oc series #avengers fluff #avengers angst

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zoeology31 · 6 years

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On Star Wars: The Last Jedi

So I saw Star Wars last Sunday. Between critics bowing down to it and plenty of people on here mourning it’s train-wreck qualities, I was pretty apprehensive, but I wanted to at least see for myself.

The verdict: Most of the movie is a giant mess and I’m glad J.J. Abrams is coming back for IX, but it does pack a punch in some parts. Once my life gets a little less busy, I’ll probably join the growing number of fans and write a fix-it fic.

Major spoilers below. Seriously, I’m about to spoil pretty much everything.

I get that this movie was trying to comment on the hardships of war and how people have to keep their priorities straight and make sacrifices, but did they have to kill so many people? The bombers, all the X-wing pilots except for Poe, the Resistance leadership, everyone who wasn't on the main Resistance cruiser, half the transport vessels, and half the skimmer pilots? None of those were even a fair fight, because they couldn’t fire back. It was just slaughter, and it got painful to watch after a while. The deaths that had the most meaning were the individuals who directly chose to sacrifice their lives for the rebellion: Paige, Holdo, and Luke.

Speaking of fair fights, where were my iconic Star Wars battles? The only fighter-to-fighter combat was at the very beginning and ended with the bombers destroyed and Poe demoted. Rey spent more time fighting Luke than the actual main bad guys, and while her tag-team with Kylo Ren against the guards was cool, I couldn’t really enjoy it because I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And of course Luke’s battle with Kylo Ren, while awesome, doesn’t really count.

A lot of moments felt unnecessary, if not extremely uncomfortable, and took away from the story, including: Rose electrocuting Finn (she could’ve just waved the taser in front of his face and let him explain the tracking situation, with the same overall result), the porgs, the pointless alien nuns, Luke milking the alien seal slug thing, Luke’s comment about Jakku being “pretty much nowhere”, Luke slapping Rey with a leaf, shirtless Kylo Ren in high-waisted pants, 90% of the shots of Kylo Ren looking sad, Rose and Finn (again) getting electrocuted for a parking violation, that opera alien at Canto Bight that looked like someone’s fetish, BB-9E, 75% of DJ, Hux slapping Finn with no consequence, BB-8 driving the AT-ST, Leia slapping Poe, Holdo saying “Godspeed”, Holdo stroking Poe’s face, that thing with Rey and the time dilation in the cave, Yoda’s weirdly corporeal Force ghost, the golden dice from the Falcon, Poe saying “you’re not dead”, that one dude tasting the salt on Crait, Rose kissing Finn, and the awkward introduction between Poe and Rey (weren’t they introduced at the end of TFA?).

What happened to the Force in this movie? The whole Force bond idea felt incredibly shoehorned, and since we don’t find out that Snoke was behind it until much later, we’re expected to believe Rey and Kylo Ren share some “special connection” because plot. It did wind up being pretty cool when Luke used it at the end to trick Kylo Ren, but I’m not clear on why he died immediately afterwards. Was it too draining? Did Kylo Ren running his projection through have a physical effect on him? Did he just voluntarily stop existing? And if Force ghosts can summon lightning, what’s stopping them from intervening further in the world of the living? Why hasn’t Anakin just showed up and killed Kylo Ren? Then of course there’s Leia floating through space despite never demonstrating any abilities beyond emotion sensing before.

Kylo Ren. I am unimpressed with the movie’s repeated attempts to create sympathy for him to the detriment of other characters. Your uncle drawing a lightsaber on you is not in any way an excuse to try to kill him, burn down his temple, and murder all his students who refused to join you. Besides, doesn’t this contradict canon in Bloodline or something? He’s still just as whiny, manipulative, and flat-out evil as in TFA, but now he’s responsible for even more deaths (remember, he fired the shot that blew up the X-wing hangar).

How are we supposed to buy Rey suddenly believing “there’s still good in him” or whatever when Kylo Ren killed her father figure, gravely injured her best friend, tortured her, and is in the process of racking up an even higher body count? TFA Rey is too smart for that, and she would never compromise her new family for the tiniest chance of redeeming a grown man who’s clearly made his choice and whom she owes nothing to. Luke didn’t start trying to redeem Vader until after he learned Vader was his father, what excuse does Rey have? Not only does Rey Nobody make no sense in the context of this movie, it ignores all the parallels and setup of TFA and turns Rey from the rightful Skywalker heir to some random girl who is arbitrarily powerful and arbitrarily the main character.

Because Rian Johnson lives under the delusion that Kylo Ren is somehow the male lead, Finn was forced into an extraneous sideplot and romance that repeated his character arc from TFA. Between getting electrocuted twice, falling into racist stereotypes at the casino, needing Rose to explain everything to him, getting slapped by Space Hitler, and being cheated out of a full-length, emotionally emphasized fight scene against his lifelong oppressor, Finn generally suffers some of the worst treatment of any character in the movie. The casino plot was tedious and its moral felt forced, and the undercover scene aboard the Star Destroyer was disappointingly short and ended in failure. Being sidelined meant Finn wasn’t written as wildly out of character as Rey or Poe, and John Boyega’s acting ensured we still saw the Finn we all know and love, but it was still an incredible disservice to his character.

Even though he got quite bit more screentime, Poe was almost a different character in this movie than in TFA. In the movie, comics, and tie-in novels, he had very clear strengths and flaws: charismatic, selfless, loyal, and an excellent strategist, but too willing to sacrifice himself and not good at thinking long-term. This is all thrown out the window in TLJ, making Poe instead a stereotypical Latino hothead who’s reckless ideas cost dozens of lives and who constantly battles his (white female) superiors. When he mutinies, we’re expected to agree with Holdo and be happy when she lectures him about hope and honorable retreats, but Holdo’s smarmy attitude and refusal to tell Poe the plan makes him seem like the reasonable one. Not only was Poe’s arc a lesson he didn’t need to learn, it was insulting, frustrating to watch, and poorly executed.

The three new characters were unnecessary and stretched the story too thin. DJ was practically useless and his verbal tics were more annoying than quirky. His only role was to show the grey morality of the war, but it would’ve been smoother for Finn to just observe and make his own comments, rather than have DJ and Rose give clunky exposition. Rose was a sweetheart, but her character was completely static and acted more as Finn’s morality pet than an independent person. Her tasering Finn at the start and kissing him at the end was probably supposed to be character development, but both felt forced. Holdo was a terrible leader and difficult to root for until her death scene, which was incredible but would’ve been more impactful with a character we had time to get attached to.

There were some things I liked about the movie. The cinematography was gorgeous when sets were properly lit, especially on Ach-To and Crait, and it had some truly stunning scenes, like Holdo wrecking the First Order fleet, Luke seeing the twin suns on Tatooine, and Rey lifting the rocks for the Resistance. The main cast was as attractive as ever, helped by some top-notch costuming. Despite exchanging zero words, Rey and Finn’s strong relationship was clear as day, and their reunion was fantastic. When Rey swooped in on the Falcon to give the skimmers cover fire and Finn cheered, that was my “I’m watching Star Wars” moment.

Luke’s arc was comparatively decent; he was too surly and irreverent at the beginning, but his criticisms of the old Jedi order made sense and his stand against Kylo Ren was the closest this movie got to iconic. Luke and Leia’s reunion was one of the most emotionally touching moments, and it doesn’t surprise me that Carrie Fisher wrote it. I liked the ending; everyone was together and getting along, the Resistance was safe aboard the Falcon, and Rey literally shut the door in Kylo Ren’s face. Even with the weird sympathy track, it’s clear he won’t be redeemed and it’ll be interesting to see him as the main villain.

#star wars #the last jedi #analysis #rey #finn #poe dameron #rose tico #luke skywalker #leia organa #amilyn holdo #kylo ren #my stuff

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