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#I LOOKED DUMB HAHAHA
thequietabsolute · 1 month
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Joni and Neil are back on Spotify. Which is wonderful, and very funny. Presumably the new contract renewal Joe Rogan signed with the company for $250 million recently demonstrated that Joe has suffered enough from their little temper tantrum, and has learnt his lesson and can now be rehabilitated.
Thank you Joni and Neil. Not only timeless musicians, but forces for, for erm, medical, social … something and good and things 👏
[anyway, here’s two of my favourites from J & N]
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broodygaming · 2 months
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thinkin about Subnautica and the first time I played it... hahaha, I went in almost completely blind (I'd watched a tiny bit of a YTer play it and loads of ppl were saying, if you like the look of this and wanna play it don't spoil yourself, just go do it rn! so I did, lol).
I LOVE the ocean, first off. I don't think I'd ever be capable of diving? But I love the idea of it and it does not scare me in the slightest. I had ZERO idea the game is considered scary by most people. Absolutely NO idea haha. Even when I saw my first Leviathan/Reaper, I was just kinda like, oh yeah of course there's big predators, better steer clear! Nbd, if I die the consequences aren't too bad so eh. Like they definitely jump scared me a few times, but nothing crazy.
But really what sticks out to me in hindsight... this is SO stupid... it took me forEVER to figure out that I needed to scan stuff to get blueprints.
i fucking SWAM ALL THE WAY TO THE FIRST ISLAND. Or the first island I went to, the north/northwest one. I didn't even question it. I was like, oh yeah it's an exploration they want you take your time. I thought I was being a jerk, skipping all the way to the first big new thing "so quickly". About three quarters of the way back to the pod I was like "Okay, I feel like I've progressed more story, let's check in on that YTer and see what they're doing" to see him riding around with the seaglider!! I was like WTF!!!!
My mistake was SO dumb it was hard to even find like, an explanation of what I was doing wrong. Like, everything I googled said how to find the scannable items, not that you even HAD to scan them or with WHAT. Like telling someone how to make sauce and they don't know how to turn on the stovetop. SO SO silly.
Anyways. What a game.
ALSO. wait sorry this is so long
I NEVER FOUND A SECOND BEACON TO SCAN.
Let me run that by you again. I played the ENTIRE game without beacons. I could probably actually navigate almost the entire map without thinking much irl at this point. I just had to like... use "land" marks and be patient. I had to know where I was at on the map (which I finally started looking up to be able to find the paths to the lower chambers way later in the game) (but before then I just used the Aurora, the cloud glitches around the island and my brain) and triangulate my fucking position like a sailor and be like, okay if I'm here and wanna go here I gotta head in a SWS direction" hahaha.
Anyways. Wonderful game. One of the few games I sincerely wish I could erase my memory of and play blind again. I'm usually not the type to wish that, I'm love replaying stuff. But this was so so special on that first run.
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pandagirl45 · 1 year
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(Brought to you by myself and my fiance unhinge brains)
Tony: *in a crop top stretching*
Clint: *mumbles* whore
Tony: *blinks looking at Clint* how the hell am I the whore? *points to Steve who is in the same crop top* his tits are out for everyone!
Steve: What?! Tony!
Clint: your arc reactor *gestures to his chest* screams look at my tits
Tony: *bright red* that makes zero sense
Clint: *gestures to Bucky*
Bucky: *turns red looking away*
Clint: see, tits up and lights out, Tony, Mr. My Eyes are up here Stark, I call you a whore out of affection
Bucky: *forces his eyes to meet Tony’s* I like the shirt
Tony:....*rubs his face* my arc reactor does not make me whorish, it makes me thotty 
Clint:... point *laughs*
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astral-catastrophe · 1 year
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so uh
I may or may not have just gotten lectured by a cop
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im-no-jedi · 2 years
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been a while since I tried drawing them in my old style and decided to try it again and honestly? I miss this 😞
I’ve been wanting to find a “simpler” style for like comics and stuff, and I totally forgot that my original art style WAS simpler LOL
still need to make full body refs but I’m not too worried about that as I’m solely going to draw them in their blacks (or my clothes *COUGH*) cause frick armor lolololol
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etheries1015 · 5 months
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We share the love language of biting. Now imagine TWST beatsfolk has that as an actual sign of courting. Like you're chilling with Leona, not dating or wooing him, and then you bite his cheek in affection. And all of Savanaclaw is shocked because among them, it's the same as i.e. proposing marriage. The utter chaos XD
OHH MY GOSSSHHH YOUR BRAIN >>> I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? HAHAHA SODEFHSELKJD i'm gonna expand on that for a few characters...
Accidentally courting them
General warnings: Gender-neutral reader, not really proof read lol. Obvious Malleus and Lilia favoritism <3 I also decided that they ARE dating in this scenario, I think its cuter that way in my head heuheu
Featuring: Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Malleus, Lilia, ... and Rook HAHA.
TW: none! Just a bunch o' fluff of biting your non-human lover without realizing it was a sign of courtship <3
Leona
It was a typical day for Leona. You two were sitting in the lounge where most of the other students lingered, Leona becoming rather... possessive as of late. Instead of resting in his bedroom away from prying eyes as you had requested from your lover, he ignored all your feeble cries requesting privacy. Instead, he holds you in his lap without worrying what others are thinking. A form of showing others you were his, and his alone. You were conflicted in your feelings, staring at him. His eyes were closed, but he could feel your gaze burning into his head.
"How long are you-" Then it happened. You gave in. You gave his cheek a bit of a nibble. All of the sudden the chattering stopped, all eyes were on you, before they start patting Leonas back and giving him congrats while a few seemed to pull presents right out of their asses.
"Wha- what's going on?" Leona grumbled with a light blush before growling and pushing the face of someone who tried to hand him another gift.
"You all look like idiots! You know biting means something different to us. Don't be dumb." Okay, now you were extra confused. Seeing your utter ignorance, Leona sighed.
"Biting in our land is a sign of courtship, herbivore." ...Oh. You blush deeply and hide your face in his chest, Leona looking away flustered and ruffling your hair.
"Try again in a few years, and I just might bite you back."
Ruggie
You were walking down the halls with your boyfriend when suddenly you had the urge to just...bite him. an overwhelming sense of love and affection for the fact he had given you some of the bread he (probably legally) got ahold of. You smiled fondly at the bread and back at Ruggie before placing your mouth on the bulb of his shoulder, causing him to yelp in suprise and dropping his half of the bread.
"wha- huh?! What was that for?" He became flustered, bending over to pick up his bread and slowly move away from you with bright red cheeks. You furrowed your eyebrows and hugged yourself, almost embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I just...I dunno," Your cryptic and non specific response left him with his jaw open and eyes wide, spluttering out things like "We're still in school! I don't have the funds yet-" before a familiar fist came and knocked the back of Ruggies head. Leona stood there smiling in amusement and chuckling at you.
"I don't think they know what that means to us beastman, Ruggie." Even more confused then before, you asked for clarification.
"You just asked him to marry you with that bite of yours, herbivore." Now YOUR mouth was wide open, and Ruggie managed to get flee from the scene without much notice from you nor his senior.
Oh brother. You have a lot of communicating to do with that one.
Jack
You were sitting at the lunch table eating away at your food when you noticed...Jack's biceps. You marveled at the sight of his bulky arms- it's a wonder to you how he managed to become so strong and have the motivation to train all day. With a burst of admiration, instead of biting into your sandwich - you took a bite into his muscle. He yelped in suprise and just stared at you, face slowly turning red. Ace and Deuce laughed at his reaction, ready to ask you what was up before Jack took it upon himself to... well, flustered and rapidly spit-firing plans.
"W-we are still so young! Are you sure about this? I-i never knew our relationship was at this level!" He grabbed both of your hands and looked you in your (bewildered) eyes.
"If you're serious about this, I promise I will protect and love you for the rest of my life. But before we go ahead with the ceremony, I want you to meet my parents and get their blessings. Oh, and I need to get a stable job after we finish school first, too, so I can support you and our future. know we haven't talked about marriage before but-" You quickly cut him off in astonishment before crying out,
"MARRIAGE?! Jack, WHAT are you talking about?! I am absolutely not ready for marriage! What got into you?!"
...Queue Ruggie and Leona hysterically laughing at your utter confusion, reveling in the ignorance of it all for a few moments longer before explaining properly what you had just committed yourself unknowingly to.
Malleus
You were laying in the bed of Malleus Draconias's dorm, scrolling on your phone whilst his tail wrapped around your waist as he sat next to you reading a book. You sighed lightly and leaned your head back against the board of the mattress, turning slightly to look at your handsome fae lover. Your eyes then went down to his pale and perfect skin of his neck, the way it was free from all blemishes, smooth, and bright. Something about it made you want to taint it a light shade of red... He felt you shuffle slightly to adjust your body to be in just the right position where his neck was in full view. He glanced over to you feeling you wriggle free from his tails grasp, tilting his head seeing the look in your eyes crazed as you leaned over and just...chomped down on his collarbone.
You felt his tail twitch and his hands quickly throw the book he was reading aside to grasp your wrists, turning your body around and pinning you to the bed and carrassing your cheek with his tail.
"Biting..." He murmured, "Does this mean the same to humans as it does to Fae? You wish to be wed?" Your jaw dropped and cheeks took on a rosey hue, stuttering over yourself.
"W-wed?! I mean, I like to bite when I feel affectionate b-but marriage...I mean maybe one day b-but-"
"Biting in Fae culture is a sign of courtship and ownership. How brazen of you to mark me," he chuckled, "I shall take it you wish to own the next king of Briar Valley?" You could tell at this point Malleus was teasing you, something he picked up from the time you two have been dating.
Malleus could not help but return the favor by riddling your body with his own bite marks. Although he understood you perhaps did not have the intention of marrying him with your silly little form of affection, he knew in his mind with every bite that he was very serious about your future with him.
Lilia
Lilia already knew that biting in the human world did not mean marriage, yet was akin to something more of "cute aggression." So when you have the habit of biting him in the privacy of yours or his room, he knows you simply meant it as a form of affection, letting him know that you had an overwhelming sense of love for the old fae. He bit you back consistently on many occasions, it just seemed to be the perfect form of showing love for one another.
You didn't actually know it meant something much deeper, until you were in the diasomnia lounge and unable to control yourself as you grabbed Lilias hand and bit down gently on his wrist. You couldn't help it, he was being so entirely silly and loving towards you, that you couldn't help but show this public display of affection. Much to everyone else's dismay, however. Sebek stares at you with his mouth agape, sounds of disbelief escaping past his lips yet a sentence unable to form. Malleus as well seemed surprised at this.
"(y/n)," Malleus said, "You wish to marry Lilia?" You coughed at the sudden question and let out a feeble and awkward chuckle.
"I mean...I wouldn't mind one day, of course. We haven't really talked about it. Why the sudden question?"
"HOW DARE YOU," Sebek cried out after finally finding his words, "How dare you bite Lilia and be so insolent as to not move forward with your actions in dignity! YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROPOSAL-" Lilia started snickering, cutting Sebek off with a wave of his hand.
"It's quite alright, Sebek. Biting means something much different to humans than Fae, I suppose this is the first you had seen us put on a show of affection, hence your confusion." He turned to you, who had furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips at Sebeks sudden outburst.
"Biting, my dear, is a form of courtship to us fae. It is a sign of ownership," He chuckled.
"Why didn't you tell me that?!" You exasperated, "I mean, it wouldn't have changed anything I have done, but I would have been more careful about it... especially if it means something more to you," Lilia gracefully explained he understood it meant something slightly different to humans, before gently grabbing your hand and raising it to his mouth.
"Well, now that you understand what it means," He put your ring finger into his mouth and took a bite at the base,
"Would you like to bite me once more, my dear?"
Bonus:
Rook
You bit his arm and he immediately was on one knee.
"Was that a proposal? You know mon cheri, biting one affectionately is often a declaration of courtship-" You hit the top of his head and walked away from your interesting boyfriend.
"You're not a beastman or a fae! I'm never biting you again!" Your face red and folding your arms, turning away (ah, his cute tsundere lover.)
Oh woe is Rook! He begs and begs you to bite him more, he wants to be covered in your marks. It means you were claiming him as your own, right? RIGHT??
~~~
This was so fun to write DFSEFDSFIHSLDKJF thank you for the brain rot heuheuheueheueh
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jyoongim · 1 month
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Heyyy, it’s me again, the singer anon. Can I request an Alastor x Reader where she is sent by as a spy by Vox after our fav slithery boy failed? She’s really bubbly and friendly, but she eventually grows to care for everyone in the hotel but Vox owns her soul. She torn in between getting herself killed by him and not betraying anyone anymore, or continuing the job. She goes and confesses to Alastor, breaking down and thinking he’ll kill her, which she thinks would be best so she doesn’t have to betray anyone anymore. Just breaking down in tears telling him she doesn’t want to hurt anyone but Vox has her under a contract, begging him to kill her so she doesn’t have to. Just for Alastor to call her a good girl and ughhhh some possessive smut if you don’t mind? Sorry brain rots in my head and I’m in love with him, lol. Thank you! <3 also the three requests story set off the trigger in my head, loved it! Thanks again! <3!
This been in my inbox for weeks and i finally got a plot for it!
⚠️warning: 18+! Smut smut smut! Plot if you look hard enough!
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No one suspected a thing.
You were sent to the Hazbin Hotel after Sir Pentious miserable attempt.
Your orders were simple: ”Keep an eye out on that old fossil. I want to know why that fucker is sucking up the Lucifer’s daughter”
And you did just that…you were executing your mission flawlessly.
Until you began to care about those who stayed at the hotel.
Until you began to grow closer to the Radio Demon.
————————————————————————————
You had been staying at the hotel for a few months now and its been great!
Charlie was always finding new ways to help the residents build bonds and encouraging everyone to do their best.
At first, you were arrogant, playing along until you actually saw the the demons there were actually changing even if they didn’t admit it
But now, you thought of the princess as a friend, along with everyone else.
Especially Alastor.
Now that you’ve been around him, you’re not sure why Vox hate the demon so much.
Alastor was funny, kind (in his own twisted way), and truly looked after the hotel.
A soft smile curled on your lips as you thought about the demon, but the ringing of your phone interrupted such thoughts.
Vox.
You took a deep breath and answered “H-Hello?”
”Tonight’s your chance to take out that prick and after that come home” he demanded.
You blinked “what? B-but Vox…” you bit your lips “But it’s actually nice here. The hotel isn’t a scam…a-and everyone is a lot nicer than we thought ” Vox laughed “Oh baby please! Nice? You actually believe in that redemption crap? You think that they’ll let you stay if they knew why you truly were there? Hahaha! Oh my dumb little girl, how naive you are. ” 
You pouted, a frown on your face “I want to stay”
Vox growled through the phone “ah ah baby you don’t make demands remember?” 
Electrical shocks ran through your body from the collar you wore.
You gasped in pain “I OWN you. Did you forget that? You do whatever I say when I say it. Now I expect you home before morning or I will kill you.”
The phone call ended and you were in tears.
You didn’t want to go back. 
You liked being at the hotel and able to be yourself. 
You liked the friends you had made here.
You would do anything for them, even if you had to die to make your wrongs right.
————————————————————————
“Come in” the voice answered after you knocked on the door. You were sweating as you stood outside of Alastor’s door.
You had decided that if you were going to tell anyone why you were at the hotel, it would be Alastor.
You opened the door and walked into his radio studio.
”Hey Al” you said weakly as the demon spun around and smiled at you “Hello darlin! What do I owe the pleasure?”
You fiddled with your hands.
”I want to tell you why I came to the hotel”
Alastor quirked a eyebrow, smile widening as he gestured for you to take a seat on the couch.
”Do entertain me of your tale my dear”
You were in tears by the time you finished telling Alastor everything.
Of Vox and his plan.
The deal between you and Vox.
The reason you came to the hotel.
Everything.
”I-I’m sorry! So so sorry! I-I just didn’t know what to do!
Kill me! I deserve it! J-Just let me say my goodbyes first. I would rather you kill me than Vox! Please!” You cried, hands covering your face as you sobbed.
Alastor had been quiet for the entirety of your confession. He had half a mind to kill you when you told him of your deal with Vox.
The pesky television didn’t know when to mind his business.
His eyes focused on the collar around your neck.
 You were Vox’s and by contract, he wasn’t allowed to kill you.
And he wasn’t. No he had grown accustom to the pretty demon who seemed to light the hotel’s halls.
However…he could override Vox’s ownership of your soul.
You flinched when you felt a large hand pat the top of your head. You looked up through teary eyes ay Alastor, who just sported a soft smile.
”Now now my dear don’t you worry. I appreciate that you came to and confided in me. What a good girl you are.” His smile stretched as you sniffled, looking at him with glossy eyes.
”Y-Youre not g-gonna k-kill me?” You asked looking down.
He chuckled as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, claws finding their way under your chin to make you look at him
He rolled his eyes ”Oooh my dear of course not…” His fingers trailed down your neck, toying with your collar. “But I am in a bit of predicament”
You wiped at your eyes “how so?”
“Under normal circumstances, I would rip you to shreds and broadcast your screams for all of Hell to hear” his pupils turned to dials and his smiled turned wicked. You felt your heart stop a little.
He calmed down slightly “however I have another idea to break your deal with Vox” 
He smiled at you as you tilted your head in confusion.
”I know just the thing hehehe”
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You whimpered as you tried to hold yourself up against the force of Alastor’s thrusts. “A-Al!” You whined as the demon tugged your hair to pull your body into his. A deep growl vibrated through you as Alastor sunk into your weeping heat, his cock hitting that soft spot inside you.
“Fuuuucckk!” You hissed, eyes rolling into your skull as your body buzzed with pleasure.
Alastor pulled your body til your back was flushed against his chest, his sharp teeth nipped at your skin before latching on and marking you. You winced as his tongue lapped at the blood, he purred as trailed his tongue up your neck.
”To think Vox had such a sweet cunt all to himself. Ooh darlin you’re wasted on him. But you’ll be a good girl for me wont you? You seem to love having a real cock fucking you” he chortled, giving you a harsh thrust. His hips grinded up into your ass, coaxing your cunt to take every inch over and over.
Your gummy walls tightened around him as you whined at his words. You could barely focus on what he was saying, not giving two shits either as he bullied your insides.
”I-I can be a good girl please please oh fuck! Aah! Aah!” You whined. Alastor’s large hands trailed up your body; kneading, pawing, and squeezing at your supple flesh. Pausing at your bouncing tits to tweak your hardened nipples, sending currents to your abandoned clit.
“I know you will baby” 
He nudges his head into yours, to gain your attention and capture your lips with his, swallowing your moans as one of his hands moves down to toy with your puffy clit.
Your body jerked as he rubbed tight circles on the bud; your cunt fluttering as slick dripped down your thighs.
”Ill make a deal with you darlin” he whispered against your lips, lidded eyes staring into yours, as you mewled, wanting his tongue back down your throat. 
“I keep this little mishap under wraps and in return you belong to me. Youre free to do whatever your heart but im no pushover m,a cherie.”
His thrusts sped up as he pinched your clit.
You keened, pushing your hips back into his, trying to follow the motion of his fingers, seeking to reach your orgasm.
”Do we have a deal?” He purred never breaking his pace.
Your collar let out blue sparks, Vox’s way of ‘reinforcing’ his control over you. You whimpered as the shocks edged you, but Alastor let out a deep growl as he wrapped his claws around the collar.
”Do we have a deal?” A snap of his hips pulled a moan from your throat.
”oh! Yes! Yes! F-fuuuc-cckk”
Static ran through your body causing you to jerk as your orgasm washed over you, your collar fizzled out as Alastor’s cock pounded your cunt, riding your orgasm out.
The wet SQUELCH! Of your cunt echoed as high pitched whines left your throat. 
“That’s a good girl. Cummin all over my cock. Feels better than that robot huh? Yeeesss fuck! Take my cum darlin take it”
Your eyes crossed as your mouth opened in a scream. Alastor crashed his lips on yours, tongue pushing through your lips and pulling you into a heated kiss as he pumped you full of his cum.
Alastor let out a sigh as he slipped out of you, cock coated in creamy essence and smiling as he watched your cunt clench around nothing and dripping cum.
In your dazed state, you faintly heard a snap and a cool sensation coated your neck.
Instead of the sapphire jeweled collar, a gold chained ruby hung from your neck.
Alastor hummed as he rubbed your tired body, smiling wickedly as he slotted back into your soppy heat. You moaned softly as he rolled his hips against you.
”now lets send that mediocre podcast a proper video”
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clandestineloki · 9 months
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miguel o'hara x shy crybaby housewife!reader (p2)
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part 2 to this
miguel rolls you over on your back and takes your wrists in his hand, kissing your fingers and smiling up at you
it may be a sincere, sweet smile, but you're very flustered because this is your very attractive husband mind you
and you're still blushing like a schoolgirl when he looks at you with hearts in his eyes!!
he laughs softly at your flustered expression, and he just makes you even more embarrassed by spreading ur thighs open and licking his lips.
and he eats you up literally bc he bites down on your thigh like ur a little bun of bread, with the chomp noise and all >:(
then he goes n leaves a huge bite like the vampire daddy he is and then kisses it better, leaving a hickey and riling you up n making you whine
he is so mean!! but hes also calling u a good little wife so u're feeling very floaty <33
then his hands knead ur breasts and you whimper, so sensitive after the bath to the point where a brush of his skin against yours makes you super wet between ur legs poor babyy
and miguel notices that and bites his lip. you're such a needy baby, aren't you, gatita?
u never wanna admit it, but that's okay, he'll just prove it by fucking you so good you go dumb <33
so he gets to work on the fountain of youth between your legs
licks a fat stripe up your cunt and makes you twitch and shiver
stay still, baby, he mumbles against ur pussy, lean back, let daddy enjoy his favorite dessert~
fuck you taste so sweet, gatita, you got daddy wrapped around your little finger, mm?
you really have no idea how sexy you are :((
he licks up all your juices and laughs when he feels your thighs shaking, and just keeps eating his lovely wife out like she's his last meal
then when he feels your little hole clenching down, just so desperate to be filled
he shoves two fingers in and grins when you scream in pleasure, coming as he curls his fingers up into your cunt as you squirt all over his face <3333
pulls his fingers away and licks up the mess on his hand
then he holds his fingers out to you like "wanna taste"
n you're like "eww no" and he bursts out laughing
"more for me then hahaha- ow! dont hit me gatita"
he's disgusting...ly charming omg
u turn on ur side facing away from him but he pushes u on your back again
did you think he was done with you?? oh no no
he sinks in, no more prep needed since he got u sooooo needy and even his teasing made you so flustered nd aroused
"ah, such a cute little plaything, letting me fuck her as i please, you like when i tease you dont you bebita<3"
you whimper and turn ur head away, but he goes no no babyy i wont tease anymore, my pretty wife just look at me please?~
you turn ur head back to him and he grins, thrusting even harder
"ahh that's it baby~" he grunts, pinning your wrists to the side and kissing your neck sloppily.
"d-daddy!" you whine, squirming under his weight and he laughs
"don't run from me, bebita, we both know your pretty pussy loves me, doesnt it~?"
and he rubs ur little clit and makes you scream and go dumb from bliss
then he goes even harder, overstimulating u, but when you can't hear him, he whispers so many sorrys and i love yous because he knows he doesnt deserve such a pretty little wife who lets him do whatever he wants with her :((
but he hears you slur out, "i love you" and he kisses you passionately, both his and your doubts gone because this moment is all you two needed to calm down
then he wraps the two of you up in the blankets in a spooning position and kisses you goodnight n cradles you in his arms
but not before he slips his cock in u again >:))
he makes you sleep that way cockwarming him
and as a reward u wake up to the feeling of him lazily thrusting into you <3
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only you | y.j.i
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-> the first i love you m.list
pairing... bf!jeongin x gn!reader tags... fluff, established relationship, soft pda, skz teasing their maknae 😖
jeongin doesn’t like affection. except when it comes from you, and only you.
wc... 933 words a/n... inspired by this request! this took much longer to write than i would've liked hahaha,, but here it is! it's a bit different that the others but i really did enjoy making it so i hope you all enjoy <3 let me know what you think!!!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
“This can't actually be my mission, it's impossible!” Jisung exclaimed in disbelief. He showed the camera his paper which read ‘Hug I.N for 5 seconds.’
Everyone knew that the youngest of the group valued his personal space, which posed a huge challenge for Jisung. It didn’t help that Jisung was terribly obvious about his mission, making his target even harder to catch. He spent the whole day chasing Jeongin around the venue of their shoot trying to wrap his arms around the boy. But, it was all to no avail, and he had failed his mission—which surprised no one.
Although the shoot was finished and the missions were over, Jisung was still trying to succeed, even getting the other members to help him.
“Yah, get away from me!” Jeongin laughed as he moved to shield himself behind the black couch by the dressing room's wall, crouching down in an attempt to protect himself. “Why are you all chasing me? I've done nothing wrong!”
“You know, all you’ve done is corner yourself. Now Jisung is guaranteed to get you.” Seungmin remarked unhelpfully from the corner of the room, where he watched the whole scene with an amused smile on his face.
Jeongin’s jaw dropped as Jisung moved forward to grab him, but the younger boy quickly escaped. However, Jisung managed to capture his arm, keeping him from leaving successfully.
“I got you, Innie-ah! Now you have to accept my hug!” Jisung taunted in a singsong voice, as Jeongin wriggled his arm.
“I don't want your hugs. I don’t want your affection, shoo! Leave me and my personal space alone,” he cried, trying to pull away from his captor.
Minho scoffed at the youngest as he continued to struggle in Jisung's grasp. “Don't lie, you loooove affection. We see you with Y/n all the time, you stick to them like a puppy to its mother!”
As if on cue, the door to the dressing room creaked open, drawing the eight boys’ attention to the person walking through.
“Y/n!” Jeongin came running to you, finally breaking free from Jisung's hold. He hid behind your back, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “Save me, please. They’re trying to attack me, or something.”
Taken aback, you laughed as you watched Minho point at Jeongin and shout, “See, you just proved my point!”
Jeongin tucked his head into your neck, shielding himself from his older members’ teases. You greeted the other members with a shy smile, dragging yourself and your koala of a boyfriend to sit on the couch.
“What did you guys do to him?” After a failed attempt to pry Jeongin off of your body, you gave up and leaned back on the couch as the other boys continued to tease him.
“We didn’t do anything! He won’t let us do anything.” Jisung crossed his arms and playfully pouted.
“Alright, alright,” Chan lightly tugged Jisung towards the door. “Let's let the love birds have some alone time.”
Jeongin scrunched his nose at the title, making some of the guys snicker.
“We'll be back in ten minutes, don't do anything dumb!” With that, the seven boys left you and Jeongin alone to lounge on the dressing room couch.
Though he was still sprawled atop your body, Jeongin seemed to relax at the absence of his members and melt further in your arms, making you smile at the boy.
“So, what was all that about?” You tangled your fingers in Jeongin’s curls, twirling the soft strands.
“Jisung had a dumb mission for our video and they all ganged up on me.” He looked up at you with a pout situated on his face. “They’re bullies, I’m telling you.”
Jeongin buried his face in your neck, rubbing his face against the soft fabric of your turtleneck. You gently massaged the base of his nape, humming as you urged him to continue his story.
“I was running away from them all day, mostly to make Jisung fail his mission,” he let out a chuckle. “But I also didn't feel up for any of their affection. I don't like when people get all up in my personal space.”
“What? But you love when I'm all affectionate with you,” you teased, poking at your boyfriend's cheek.
“Yeah, I’m only like that with you! You make me feel giddy and happy and sweet when I’m around you.” Jeongin mumbled into your shirt. “But that's probably because I love you.”
Your eyes widened at his confession and you nervously let out a breathy laugh. “What did you just say?”
“I love you?” Jeongin tilted his head up at you, confusion clouding his eyes. “Have I not told you that before?”
“No, no you have not,” you laughed softly as you gently moved him off your chest and guided his head so that you were eye-to-eye. “You really mean it?”
Jeongin flashed a gentle smile, showing off his adorable dimples, and brought his hand to the side of your face. His thumb brushed the apple of your cheek as he replied, “Of course I mean it. I love you, and only you”
You placed your hand over his and guided it back to place it on your neck. You pulled him into a hug, your arms tightened around his middle, and you whispered into his ear, “I love you, too, Innie.”
Behind the door, you could vaguely hear Jisung whining about failing his mission, but you paid him no mind. You were already set on soaking up the rest of your ten minutes of peace with your one and only sweet, cuddly, and affectionate boyfriend in your arms.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
taglist: @kflixnet @jinnixxn @elllisaaa @captainchrisstan @laylasbunbunny @starsandrqindrops @fiqire
comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
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headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone
like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense
but the tiger
the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida
then kyouka and junichiro
and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno
at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members
but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah
anyway:
atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: we should eat him
atsushi: NO????
//
kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi
the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him
kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell
atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha
//
atsushi, literally just working:
the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.
atsushi: NO??????????????
ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-
//
and so on
is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes
atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like
atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-
the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice
atsushi:
atsushi: oh 
atsushi: oh no
//
akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?
atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like
akutagawa, blushing: oh-
atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u
akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-
//
eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like
atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him 
atsushi: no??????????????
//
kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi
atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?
kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????
//
atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-
the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-
atsushi: no.
//
atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u 
akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-
akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room
atsushi: do u not like goose :(
akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here
//
yeah
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evansbby · 8 months
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steve u should tell omega that sometimes other omegas call there alphas daddy in public if they REALLYY love them
Yes. I’ll do that. In fact, I’ll do that RIGHT NOW.
—Steve🏈💪😏😏😏😏
(No he actually will, click read more hahaha)
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“Baby, do you really love me?” Steve asks, coming up behind you and snaking his arms around you. He lets his palm rest on your belly, loving how round it’s getting. It turns him on beyond belief, the fact that he knocked you up and you’ve finally begun to show.
“Of course I love you, Steve.” You smile brightly at him, putting a bookmark in your novel before setting it aside.
“Mmhm, I’m not sure you do.” He says, kissing down your neck.
Your jaw drops in dismay, “You don’t believe me?”
He shrugs, grabbing your hand and leading you to the edge of the bed. He sits down and pulls you into his lap, his palm remaining splayed out on your belly because it’s quickly become his new favourite part of your body.
“The thing is, all good baby omega wives call their husbands daddy from time to time, just to show how much they love them.” Steve explains, his voice dripping with condescension as he traces his initials on your stomach.
Your eyes widen, and you suddenly feel shy, “O-Oh… But Steve, I do call you…that. You know… during…uh…when we’re…”
Your voice trails off helplessly and Steve can’t help but be smug. You’re so cute, the way you’re still so shy around him despite the fact that you’re his wife now. He also loves how demure and innocent you still are, in fact, it drives him fucking insane and he has to restrain himself from grinding his clothed dick up against you right now.
“You mean during sex, baby? While I’m fucking your little baby pussy with my big daddy dick?”
You gasp at his crassness, gulping and nodding before bowing your head. Steve’s chest rumbles with amusement. God, he’s so fucking hard, though. You, his little baby omega wife, on his lap. So cute and shy and pregnant. Fuck, even your tits were getting bigger now… Everything about you being pregnant was so maddeningly sexy…
“Well yes, but that’s a given. If you ever slipped and forgot to call me daddy during sex, you’d get punished.” Steve says matter-of-factly, although he can’t really imagine punishing you now while you were knocked up. “But tell me, baby, you want to be a good little wife for me, don’t you?”
You nod, “Of course I do.”
“That means you need to call me daddy outside of sex too.” He explains slowly, as if you’re a baby. He knows you’re not dumb at all, but he also knows it turns you on when he babies you like this. In fact, now that you’re pregnant, basically anything Steve does turns you on. Like right now, he can see you subtly grinding your thighs together, and he knows that all he has to do is press a finger down on your clit and you’d easily cum for him. The thought makes him almost salivate.
“So, baby omega, from now on, you need to call me daddy in public sometimes. In front of other people. It’ll prove that you love me.”
He watches you mull over his words, and you’re so innocent and he knows your thoughts are clouded by lust and his scent right now.
“B-But that would be embarrassing.” You say, gasping lightly when his hand slips up your dress, cupping your panty-covered core (which is soaking wet, just as he’d thought it would be).
“I call you baby in front of other people, how is this any different?”
“It’s pr-private, Steve! Ah!”
All Steve has to do is circle your clit with his thumb just once, and you cum. Hard. In fact, you squirt all over his fingers as you grab his bicep and bite your lip, humping against his hand as you ride out your orgasm. Fuck, Steve loves how sensitive your pregnancy has made you. He makes you cum about fifteen times a day on average.
“S-Sorry,” you look up at him bashfully, and Steve almost scoffs because in what universe would he ever be offended by you cumming on him?
“Sorry, what?”
“Oh, uh… sorry, daddy.” You bow your head submissively, and he knows he has you in that headspace now.
“That’s right, baby. Was that so hard?” He kisses your temple, holding you close. Fuck, he loves you so much. You’re so cute and perfect m, trembling in his arms, all pregnant and showing with his baby inside you. Not to mention all submissive and weepy for him.
You sniffle, “B-But it’s different in public. Wh-What if people laugh? Or judge me?”
Steve strokes your hair back, “Then I’d murder them. But that’s besides the point, baby. Now tell me, what will you be in a few months when our baby is born?”
He watches you look down at your belly which his hand is still stroking.
“I’ll be a mommy.” There’s a hint of pride in your voice and Steve can’t help but smile.
“That’s right. And what does that make me?”
“A daddy.”
“Good girl. That’s correct.” He pats your cheek and watches as you glow from his praise. “Which means you need to start addressing me as daddy while we’re out in public. I think you should start tonight, when we go to that charity gala.”
You bite your lip again, “B-But Steve, I don’t think I can—”
“You will.” Steve says firmly. He’d make sure you did. He’d ease you into it, he’d refer to himself as daddy when talking to you throughout the day. He’d desensitise you to it, then scent you so you’d be all submissive at the gala. You’d be bound to slip and call him daddy, because of course he knows you’d be too shy to ever do it off your own accord.
But then Steve grows distracted, pulling his hand out from under your dress and immediately his nostrils twitch at your scent. He brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking your sweet juices off his digits but it’s not enough. And fuck, you’re just so small and cute in his lap, all pregnant and sexy with your tits almost spilling out of the dress he’d chosen for you to wear. Not to mention the needy look on your face… Oh fuck…
“Baby,” Steve breathes.
“Y-Yeah?”
He lays down on his back, keeping a firm grip on your hips as he drags you up over his body, till you’re hovering over his face.
“Sit on my face, baby omega. Daddy wants to taste you properly.”
THE END SJSNSJSJAJAK
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squeakysleeper · 2 years
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@lordoftherazzles
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themotherofhorses · 1 year
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you can pretend it's not meant to be (but you can't stay away from me)
summary: to you, he is fictional. but to him, you are everything and more. he can't live without you. and, really, there is no use in trying to run away, he'll always find you.
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pairing: (somewhat) dark!aemond targaryen x fem!reader
warnings: explicit language. noncon to dubcon. abduction. massive obsessive tendencies on aemond's part. breeding kink. slight spitting kink. pregnancy.
note: hey this is me practicing writing smut because ive never ever done it before and i don't know jackshit like wtf is a dick hahaha im dreading posting this hahahasendhelpplshaha
masterlist | series masterlist
part two | part three | part four | part five
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How did you end up here?
That was all you could ask yourself, over and over again.
It had only been hours ago, maybe, that you were sitting at home, rewatching the first season of House of the Dragon for what seemed to be the thousandth time. Perhaps you dozed off on the couch too, but that was it. You have heard of shifting techniques before- ways to visit your favorite fictional worlds- but you never sought to try them out yourself.
College left you too busy with assignments and textbook readings, as well as the constant and unwavering pressure to maintain both your scholarships and high GPA.
Ever the dutiful and driven daughter, hungry for academic validation and success.
Oh, fuck, your scholarships!
Your GPA!
All those assignments and discussions and exams!
And what about your family? Your mother and father? And your best friend?
Aemond Targaryen seems not to understand your words, and why you tell, beg, and plead for him to let you go. “Please, I need to go home,” you cry loudly, while yanking at the thick knots that bound you to his bedframe, “please! My family, my friends. They will be worrying when they don’t hear from me, and all my hard work and accomplishments, it will be for nothing! Please, I beg you, let me go home.”
But he just chuckles and kisses your forehead and says, “Oh, my sweet girl, I’m your family now. Or what is of it.” His lips feel so soft and wonderful, and how desperately you wish to enjoy the feeling. But not like this. You cannot think properly nor muster any sort of response, too distracted and stressed and focused on calming your breathing.
“Although,” he then adds with a smirk, “it truly is not considered a family until you have a babe of your own…or two.”
At his words, you tremble and whimper and try your best to break free, though it is all in stupid and foolish vain. There is no going anywhere, the knots are too tight and Aemond can easily overpower you. All you can do is stare up at the man you once considered your favorite character in the series, ever since the eighth episode aired and he stole your heart and soul and burrowed himself deep within your most inner thoughts and fixation.
“Do not worry,” he says, and you can see a twinkle in the violet of his eye. He rests a hand on your collarbone, gently drawing little shapes across the skin. “Good things will come out of this night, my love, I promise you that.”
Look on the bright side, you tell yourself, in some dumb attempt to steel your nerves, better Aemond Targaryen to lose your virginity to.
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“You need to be quieter, my darling-” Aemond murmurs close to your ear “-we do not need curious ears listening in, do we?” He has you riding him, both hands clutching your hips as you do your best to bounce on his cock and match his thrusts. You’re sloppy and inexperienced, and a bit confused on what exactly to do, but it is so endearing that his lips curl into a grin.
Oh, you were made for me, he thinks, watching the way your glazed-over eyes try to hold his gaze. He will have you believe that by the end of the night, dawning if necessary.
There is much rush now that he found you, now that he has the chance to claim you.
You still moan, loud and high-pitched, and he slaps a hand flat over your mouth to shut you up. It makes your pretty and teary eyes widen more as you grab at his wrist, holding onto it while he tuts. “I’ll move my hand when you learn to listen to your husband and stay quiet. No one is allowed to hear my wife in her pleasure. No one but I.” At that, you bat your eyelashes at him, breasts heaving as he leans you down, so close your lips nearly touch, and Aemond can feel your heavy pants against his mouth.
“They will take you away from me, and ship you far across the world where I can’t find you,” he hisses, pinching your swollen nipple between his fingers, “I can’t have that. No, no, do you hear me? I will not survive being torn from you.”
The mere thought of losing you, either at the hands of his mother and grandsire or you returning to your homeland, fills him with sheer dread.
He does not know how to tell you that you are the girl of his dreams, everything he has desired and more. He has seen you in his nighttime slumbers and in the gleam of the summer sunlight and up among the black midnight stars.
But the words fall apart on his tongue, and all he can do is lay beneath you and marvel at your beauty: cheekbones and pretty puffy lips and the curve of your nose, the way your eyebrows furrow in pure pleasure, and how you look utterly delicious and ruined.
“You were made for me,” he breathes in awe, palming at both your breasts. You have to believe him, this sweet and pretty girl of his, how could you not? The gods above created you for him, he will make you see it. “You are taking me so fucking well,” and Aemond flattens a palm against your belly, where he can feel the slight bulge of his cock. “Look at you, you’re my dream come true.” He thrusts his hips up, fucking into you harder and deeper. It makes you squeal and go cross-eyed.
“Is this too much? I know you can handle it, my darling. My love, my sweet girl,” he purrs.
Aemond swipes at the drool pooling at your lips before stuffing two fingers in. “Fuck,” he whines, breathing hard, slipping his other hand in between your thighs, and with his thumb, rubbing at your clit. Your face twists in a gasp as you tremble, your entire body tightening until you cream over his cock, your loud moan muffled by the fingers in your mouth.
“Good girl,” he hums, slowing his thrusts, “Such a good fucking girl. Look at that, did that feel good, my love?” he asks you.
You nod, rocking your hips back and forth. Your thighs shaking and your face scrunching in complete bliss as you start again, taking his cock deep in your stomach with tiny bounces. “Please- please- please-” you babble against his palm. “I-I want- I need-”
“Want what, my sweet girl? Need what, my darling wife?”
You don’t answer, too overtaken by the pleasure. Aemond chuckles and leans upwards, to bury his face between your breasts. You are absolutely stunning, gorgeous, a living goddess; how he went this long without you is baffling. “You wish for my seed. Is that what you want?” he mutters against your nipple, “of course you do, this belly is too empty, isn’t it? My son should be sleeping inside.” His fingers pinch your clit, and you gasp again. “You’ll be the prettiest mother. You were made to carry my children. You were made for me,” and he pulls your face back to his, with a rough grip on your chin.
“Tell me,” he demands through a pant, “tell me how fucking badly you need my seed. Tell me…tell me right now.”
“I- I need it-“ you choke out, but then you shake your head. “No- No I can’t! I- I need to go- go home!”
Aemond laughs, so hard he flings his head back. The sight takes you by surprise before he shoves you off, causing you to land next to him on the bed. You stare up at him, wide eyed and puzzled and swollen and covered in countless bites and bruises. In one swing, he forces your face into the pillow as he mounts you from behind, fucking you hard. His fingers return to your clit, squeezing and tweaking and not caring one bit about your muffled yelps and whines
“You’ll learn, my sweet girl, but perhaps not tonight. I am your home now, do you understand? I’m your family, your husband, and the father to your children.”
He grabs a fistful of damp hair and yanks your face back, never once slowing his thrusts. Your mouth is open with many moans spilling out, eyes clouded with tears, and cheeks flushed. With his lips next to your ear, he whispers, “You are going nowhere.” Then propping himself on one arm, he trails small kisses up your back to your shoulder blade until his mouth slams down on yours in a heavy and wet kiss.
And when he pulls away, his fingertips squeeze your cheeks together as he demands for you to open your mouth. "You are mine," he grunts, "you belong to me," before spitting into it. "Good, now swallow."
And when you do, he smiles.
"There, see?" he coos, leaning to kiss your forehead as he feels you tighten around his cock. He was going to seed you again, deep inside your womb. Come the morning, he knows his son will be in there, and he can hardly wait.
"My wife, my darling girl, the only woman deserving of me and all of me. Only me." He watches you sob at that, pink lips pressing in a tight line as fat tears streak down both cheeks. "Oh, do not worry, my love. You're too lovely to be crying," and he uses his thumb to brush away the tears, "I'm here to give you the life you deserve," he vows, so lovingly, "you will want for nothing."
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With a loud huff, you plop yourself on the couch.
The saying “home sweet home” never felt more sincere until now. It took much time and planning and effort and sneaking around on your part, but you managed to find a way to escape from Aemond Targaryen, though not without consequences. Your belly was growing only larger with every new moon, and your babe was starting to shift around more. At most times, you could feel the fluttering sensation across the bottom of your tummy, and every now and then, the tiniest kick.
It was adorable, you admitted, and you tried your best to find enjoyment throughout the pregnancy, sometimes wondering at night about who your child would resemble.
Would their looks favor yours? Or would they favor their father, with his Valyrian features- that iconic silver hair and violet eyes. The latter worried you the most. How could you even begin to explain why your child looked as if they belonged in the Game of Thrones series, specifically in House Targaryen?
Speaking of such, you had not touched House of the Dragon since you arrived back home all those months ago, too unwilling to turn on the tv and see the man whose child you were mysteriously carrying in your womb. It just did not make any sense, it felt more like a weird dream than reality.
But you were dying of boredom. The dragonling (you had taken to nicknaming the baby that, it sounded both cute and appropriate) was stealing away most of your time and energy, and your mother refused to allow you to do anything that could cause harm or add more unnecessary stress.
So you bit your tongue and swallowed down your grumbles and settled comfortably on the couch before opening Fire and Blood.
“Fucking crazy to think that this is a book of your family’s history,” you mumbled to your baby bump, “fictional my ass.”
So you read, to yourself and to your babe. Read about Aegon’s Conquest and the Year of the Three Brides and King Jaehaerys and his Alysanne and their triumphs and tragedies and legacy, and you read until you reached The Dying of the Dragons, the Blacks and the Greens, where you just sighed.
“And when Alicent sent for her second son to fly to Storm’s End, with the purpose of securing Borros Baratheon’s loyalty to Aegon II by winning the hand of one of his daughters, the Four Storms, the truth was finally known. One-eyed Prince Aemond, twenty and one, had taken a wife of his own in secret, a young maiden not of Westeros (according to Mushroom). Yet Prince Aemond lost her a month into their marriage, although by that time he had become so besotted with his bride, to such an extent that he could not bear the thought of living without her or taking another woman as his new wife.
With Prince Aemond refusing his mother’s orders, Queen Alicent had little choice but to send her youngest, Prince Daeron, in his place to Storm’s End. And by the seventh month, Prince Daeron wedded Floris Baratheon, and Prince Aemond One-Eye had reunited with his wife, who was heavy with child by the time he found her.”
You suddenly glance up from the book pages, feeling your heart hammering so hard in your chest that it seems at the end of your throat. On the wall, to your right, hung the calendar which you had taken to use as a means of tracking your pregnancy.
In two weeks, you’ll be at your seventh-month mark.
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
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I'm On Your Screens.
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
Vox's POV of "Get Off My Screen!"
A/N: This is the silly TV man's POV on what I had written earlier since it was mainly just how dear reader saw everything. I wanted to do this before working on the Vox x Reader requests so I could do some practice on this dude's character hahaha. Also my goodness Tumblr you are THIRSTY for this man! Aaaaah I love it anyway so keep those ideas coming people!
Vox is a busy man, dealing with the other two Vees' chaos alongside his company kept his hands full daily.
Either always irate out of his mind or even grumpy because of it.
Velvette called him again because of Valentino making a bloody mess.
Oh great, this shit AGAIN-
Upon further inspection, the moth overlord was pretty much throwing another pissy tantrum because something didn't go his way.
Something about one of his whores stepping out of line or whatever?
Vox wasn't exactly listening.
Throughout that entire fit, Vox had half a mind to tell Valentino to just suck it up.
Sometimes shit goes wayside, it is what it is.
He was already exhausted mentally and physically by the time he dragged himself back into his monitor room.
Plopping himself back down on his chair, Vox let out a tired sigh and just stared at the many screens around him.
So imagine his surprise when he saw a random screen just crackle and fizz like an old CRT booting up.
Hell had done away with those darn things years ago-
He even made sure of it!
He swiveled his chair around to look closer at the fuzzy image that had appeared.
The static filter over the picture was definitely reminicent of an older TV screen.
He could barely make out a group of figures hunched over... something?
Vox tried to travel through the screen, as he could with the many many others in the room around him-
"FUCKING-! OUCH?!"
Only for it to rebound back.
Vox didn't know whether to be confused or surprised that he managed to zap himself.
HimSELF.
Besides that, a random prompt appeared on the screen.
What kind of haunted bullshit was this?
"What's your name?"
Okay, someone had to be pulling a prank on him.
Despite being skeptical, he decided to humor this weird situation.
"Okay-? The keyboard doesn't work. How am I supposed to use this thing? Just write on the screen?"
Despite his sarcastic remark to no one in particular, yes.
That was in fact what he had to do.
Which Vox found out pretty soon, and he felt a little idiotic that it wasn't the first thing he tried.
He had to squint to kind of understand what was happening on the other side of the screen.
He'd written his name on the screen aaaaand-
Great, absolutely nothing happened.
Someone had to be fucking with him.
There wasn't even any audio so he couldn't even use that for hints.
The group he'd been watching just all of a sudden jumped up and pointed towards him.
Or at least that's what it looks like.
Could they see him?
He wasn't even sure what happened next, the group somewhat hastily moved out of his sight.
Oh whatever.
Vox was about to just forget about the weirdness of the situation if something else hadn't popped up on an adjacent screen.
A phone homepage.
What the hell was that doing on his screens?
It wasn't like there was anyone in particular he was interested enough to look through their stuff.
Ohhhh he could interact with it this time.
Dumb fucking hackers could only zap him once, HA!
The screen with the TV filter quickly shut off when he interacted with the phone menu however.
He should really check his mainframe security and firewalls after this-
It took him no time at all to rummage away and scrounge up whatever he could from the phone.
Might as well do away with the tacky wallpaper while he's at it-
"Y/N huh?"
He saw your photos as well, only becoming more and more confused with the situation.
Were you a living human???
The camera app was unresponsive to his attempts at interacting with it.
So was the recording app...
Guess he couldn't use it to spy this time.
Before long, the phone was also being interacted with.
Vox could only guess it was you.
"Oh great- yeah, just go back to using the shitty wallpaper that I switched out on PURPOSE."
It didn't take much longer before Vox noticed other nearby screens popping up with electronic screens similar to this one.
He totally switched back the wallpaper before messing with the other stuff-
It was always the same, the cameras wouldn't work and neither would the microphones.
For a technology overlord, Vox found himself slightly irritated by how limited his actions were.
wtf was he even supposed to do with this?
Once he retired for the night, he wondered if all of this would just go away come morning.
Spoiler alert: It didn't.
Though the tacky wallpaper was back again.
Hm... this could be fun.
This went on for a few days, he and you were switching the wallpapers back and forth.
It was either his face or whatever random shit you'd change it with.
Sometimes Vox would just let you have some peace before switching it back after an hour.
He could only imagine how irritated you were.
Too bad he couldn't hear or see it.
But seeing you constantly battle with him for the wallpaper priority was entertaining enough.
Vox didn't bother with any of your other files or anything else at the moment.
He didn't see the point in doing so yet anyway.
Of course that was until the notepad opened.
"I know you're in there. Stop messing with me."
He chuckled seeing you type out the message, guess the jig was up.
But he wasn't going to stop this game you both were playing just yet.
"Oh I know, you're just fun to mess with doll."
Little did Vox know that his snarky response would've been the start to an... odd companionship to say the least.
Both of you exchanged messages over the months.
Either idle talk or just conversation about anything under the sun.
If something bothered him at work, most likely he'd leave a rant on your notepad for you to find.
Similarly, if you've had a shitty day- he'd quickly know.
"You're obsessed with this Alastor guy huh?"
"No, he's just an old timey prick who keeps fucking up my stuff."
"You're obsessed."
"Fuck you. >:/"
Interacting with you ended up taking more of his free time and the other Vees would be confused why he spent so much more time in his monitor room.
Vox just brushed them off and rolled his eyes.
He wasn't attached.
He didn't actually care for you did he?
Yeah no absolutely not-
There was a point Vox did get bored enough to look into your files though.
He spent a good hour sorting through stuff while you got work done.
"You should really label your files better."
"It's not that bad."
"Really? After I spent a good while organizing and managing your shit because of some randomly named ones? A goddamn 'thank you' would've been nice."
"Random? I don't do random."
"Oh yeah? What's this one? 'Yeetus' or this one- 'Bababooey'?! Hell, this one is just keysmash!"
"Oh shut up, I still find my things."
"HOW????"
Vox proceeded to rant and bitch about it for another hour-
Sometimes when he just wanted to fuck with you, he'd steal control of the cursor.
It was purely just to spite you.
Your notepad rants afterwards kept him entertained.
He was slightly proud that he beat your wallpaper war.
Or so you dubbed it.
Now his grin was practically a permanent plaster on your devices.
Even so, when he wasn't busy Vox sometimes found himself looking over at your work.
"How is your grammar this shitty?"
"We have grammarly for that, I don't really care much."
"Grammar- what??"
Inadvertently he ended up being your spellchecker every so often.
He only realized how much help he'd been giving once you mentioned in passing that your English professor bumped up your grade.
Why?
Because your writing was just better.
Correction-
Vox's writing was better.
He wouldn't let you hear the end of it for weeks.
You knew it was a mistake telling him.
He didn't even stop his trolling there.
Once he figured out how to overload your computer's memory, it was lag central.
Then he started messing with the display and aspect ratio, making visual glitches while he pulled up random tabs or applications you needed to fight him to close.
"I'm in class you jackass! We can do this when I get home!"
"Nope, I don't think I will. >:3"
He thought he was doing you a favor giving your devices some custom flair as well.
"Are these emojis of you?"
"Yeah, I thought you'd enjoy them."
"Huh, cool."
He thought he was doing great as your companion, until you downloaded that thing.
What in Lucifer's name was it even?
Another tiny human in your desktop?
"What the fuck is that."
"My new desktop companion, do you like it?"
Vox didn't even bother replying, watching it move around and emote for a hot minute while his eye twitched.
Were you trying to piss him off?
Eventually he took his frustration out on it with the cursor to the best of his ability.
Even if it only irritated him more that it kept getting back up unharmed.
Fucking hell, if you wanted a visual desktop companion you could have just ASKED.
Even if he stayed up a few extra hours to work on it, Vox felt like it was worth it.
He was better than that stupid little companion thing you downloaded.
"Did you upgrade my desktop pet by any chance?"
"Why? Do you not like it?"
"Nah, it's actually pretty cute. Thanks."
Vox couldn't bring himself to reply to that.
He was not fucking CUTE!
It totally flew over his head that you called it a desktop "pet".
Depending on his mood, he would use the small thing to emote or just keep you entertained.
At least you could sort of see him.
Even when he couldn't see you.
However, Vox was still Vox and he couldn't help himself to a little mischief here and there.
You both met by sheer coincidence from a weird situation.
Still, the tech overlord couldn't help but be just slightly glad it happened to him.
If Vox had to actually be honest, you weren't all rainbows and sparkles.
You could be a total bitch if you wanted to.
Heh, maybe there'd be a chance he'll finally meet you down here.
Guess he'll just have to wait and see until then.
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