#I JUST REALIZED IM NOT FOLLOWING YOU YET?!?!
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Going home - lando norris
Summary: Many months had went into planning this trip. From the timing, the days and the activities to scheduling down who your going to introduce to your boyfriend and at what time and day. You hed spent everyday making sure that this was going to go perfectly just for everything to change last minute
Warnings: swearing
As a Canadian i felt it was right to use canada as the country. Plus fc is canadian as well!!
Over the last months after moving in with lando although everything had gone perfect its began to feel lonely. The constant change happening has been feeling like to much recently so you decided to plan a trip for yourself and lando to go back to your home in canada. To reunite with your loved ones and friends.
Yes Lando knows about the trip and everything that is planned for the two of you yet he does not possess the same excitement that has been slowly creeping inside of you. Infact Lando is dreading this trip and everything about it. Including going to canada, meeting new people and just everything. He thought that it was made clear by his reactions to your plans that he did not want to accompany you on this trip. every time you mention it his face drops and he groans.
You know about how much lando doesnt want to go on this trip with you but you cant figure out why. You want to share your life with him. You want to share where you came from your friends your family and everything in between. Yet he just doesn’t seem on board for reasons you and him are not even sure about.
Finally approaching the final days before the trip you decide to sit down with Lando and have a conversation with him about him refusing to come with you. Althought the conversation beging peaceful you never expected for it to come to this.
“Lando please just tell me why you cant come with me ive spent months planning this for us me and you not me alone” you plead with him hoping hell understand how important this is for you.
“Ive made plans plus canada is a shit country anyway I’ve seen it before i don’t need to see it again” lando states out of anger leaving you confused.
“Oh… im going to leave don’t follow me dont text me just not until i get back at least” it hurt, it hurt you to hear lando say your country isnt worth visiting, it hurts to hear hes disregarded every plan you had made for the two of you just to make his own. It hurt knowing he didn’t care enough to do something he knew you were so excited about even if he didn’t want to. Everything about him doing this hurt.
Lando knew he fucked up the moment he saw you leave with your suit case. He didn’t mean to hurt you he just had other things he wanted to do during his summer break and that doesn’t include spending it in canada. He made
Plans about a week ago to go golfing with Carlos and his father, he made plans to stream with max, he made plans to stream with filly,
And he had stuff he wanted to do with quadrant he didn’t see the big deal.
2 days later you made it to the airport alone. You had an uber drop you off. In the uber you have came to the conclusion that you don’t need lando to enjoy spending time with your family and friends so you had blocked his number. Although you and all of your friends knew that this was only temporary until you get back to Monaco. You thought it was best you and Lando have some space as he truly did hurt you with every action and every word he had said and done.
Making it to canada your first stop off the plane is to grab a coffee from Tim hortons as it was closest to the airport.
Lando at home had been busy all these plans he made have finally caught up to him and he’s realizing now that he not getting the break he had thought he would during the summer. He missed you, he missed waking up with you he missed your voice, your smile just everything about you. You had been radio silent for days and lando doesn’t understand why so he decided to be the first to reach out
It’s not till he’s speaking with max does he notice that he’s been blocked. Max made him realize a lot that day including why you had been so upset about what he said and his choices to set up his own plans when you had spent months planning something for the both of you.
He feels guilty. He knows he messed up and he knows he has to make up for it. It doesn’t help when he sees your instagram post about how much you had missed home and your friends. So he spends the next day setting everything up. He messages your parents to see when would be a good time to stop by, he books a flight, and finally packs everything he needed from the list you had sent him a while ago.
YourUsername . Just posted
Liked by: Landonorris, carlossainz55, yourfriend1, username8 and 763 others
YourUsername: canada i missed you couldnt be more glad to be back
Yourfriend1: so only missed the country then?
-YourUsername you would be correct
LandoNorris: miss you baby
- username4 hes not with her?
Username48: shes stunning
-YourUsername: all you
Finally he knocks. You’re confused and so are your friends. No one else was coming over so who was knocking? You paused the movie which happened to be your and landos favourite movie to watch together the hangover.
As you swing the door open your met with the piercing eyes of Lando which makes you feel so many different things. He’s here.
He’s actually here you don’t believe it so you do what you see in movies and punch him in the arm but not hard enough to hurt him.
“Ouch babe what the hell” Lando exclaims even though you both knew it didn’t hurt.
“Sorry had to make sure you were real plus you deserve that” he knows he does, he really does deserve that and so much more. So as he pulls you into the tightest hug ever he whispers.
“I know i know im so sorry i fucked everything up, i fucked up this trip you’ve been planning for months and in the process i hurt you im so sorry you have no idea” he continues to go on and on so you pull him into a deep heart felt kiss that he knew meant you appreciated him coming.
Although you knew he still had to work to be forgiven in the moment all you cared was that despite not wanting to he had come all this way.
Authur:
Thankyou to everyone who reached out last post and to everyone who engaged means alot!!
Also i messed up the text messaages nooo just know their meant to be from lando to y/n
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Oh my God. 120 followers!!
Had to whip up something (and I would have done more but im in college again and haha...that takes over everything!) But where am I? Oh right THANK YOU EVERYONE!!
I know its a small number but that means 120 people were interested and liked my work and art so guess what? It means everything and you all have helped me a lot!! You kept me encouraged and you all help me find my happiness in my art again. And look where I am now!
So here are all my oc's just celebrating or confused of all the confettie. And just to be random here is some random dialouge from them
Geneieve: "Why are we having a party again?"
Syrup:"To celebrate 120 followers of course!"
Shrimpy: "Followers? You mean people are stalking us???"
Syrup: No Shrimpy it means people who are "subscribed to us on Tumblr!!"
Simon: "But aint it the same as stalking a bit? Like they view us so....."
Syrup"...oh shoot you actually do got a point"
Silky: "I am very concerned for the amount of braincells you all have right now"
Zithur: "Eh I lost 50 of mine so i think we are all good here"
Geneieve: "How are you even alive at this point? Shan't you be dead????"
Zithur:"....magic?"
(poor Zithur)
Anyway now that the gang is all here I was originally going to mention all my followers and then i realized...holy shoot that 120 to type and find so here are a few of mostly stating the mutuals and down the line!!
Thank you..
@eve-pie @ericvelseb666 @sg-the-mag-by @blueberryflower23
@buenos-diaz @zoeyvelseb666 @sharkyy599 @f3l1c1afox @annelostshoe @dollpuppets @i-ate-your-dog-srry @eldiabo @enjoyerofspooks @ethandorianbatz @fluffyartist132 @thetiredcreature @nia1sworld @night-terrorzz @atomictoasty @thegrimpumkinpatch @theoryvixen @yet-happy @onewallywithmanyfaces
@chocolategothwolfhorse
@mentally-quiet-spycrab @mentally-spacey-spy @oddlyvoid
@not-so-creative-brazilian-girl @oli-draw @izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin
@littlesiren79 @usuariaanonimam @that-one-furry-sky @autismtheartist
@mk-tsr
@senpa10
GASP AND TO MANY MANY MORE!!! Sorry if i didn't get your name but I am grateful nonetheless!
ASK Box
Now i dont have much presents but I will say for my Ask you can ask my characters literally anything. I want to be more interactive and i do apolgize for how slow I am with my diddly darn ask box so forgive me but to open up more room for how my characters act you can ask them whatever you like.
Example
Hey Simon what do you think of the Mario games?
Stuff like that... see you guys later im going to go and eat a whole tub of icecream and drink orange juice BYE!!!!
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I didn't know who to say this too but i was about to explode thinking about this and you are one of the few people in hsr fandom that i trust to understand ratio so my apologies to be dumping this on you all of a sudden but... I think Ratio's technique is so interesting in a way and speaks more about him than people give it credit for. Like...creating a fake version of himself that aggros the enemy is already very meta of how hsr fandom tends to see him, esp with the number of people that started hating him after that "betrayal" scene in 2.1 xD And it makes me wonder about his voiceline where he says something like "im fine with showing my true self if it helps me teach students/cures patients but i find that doing so is counterproductive most of the time"...wdym "true self" sir...and why are your character details completely devoid of any details from your own pov...and why do you get so evasive when anyone tries to ask about your past (going by that one interview when someone asked him what he was like as a child and he's just like "what a silly question, i was a normal boy")...it seems to me the princess is hiding something...
Thank you for your ask OP! It's really interesting to think about your question, and I'm humbled by your trust! I hope whatever I cook can satisfy you in some way. It's going to be a bit long!!
Let's start by saying I do operate under the belief that we know a lot about Dr Ratio and at the same time we only know what he wants us to know, which I find incredibly interesting to his character.
It can go many different ways. A lot of people use this mysteriousness to hint at the following:
1. something sinister (I am not necessarily saying you are doing this)
2. suggesting that he is more than who he is, like he may be more than who he presents to be (may or may not be evil in alignment but just more)
3. he really just thinks divulging further personal information about him is pointless and he values his privacy as an individual rather than a prominent figure
Let me now unpack the most wrongest [sic] take, number 1, which I find to be antithetical to his character, because Dr Ratio has always been aligned with doing good. He isn't your typical good person, but he is morally pushing for good (eradication of ignorance, people finding and reaching their potential etc), and he rather he reminds me of a very stern but nonetheless kind educator who genuinely demands good be brought into the world through one's aptitude and ability (just like himself) and not relying on others to solve problems for you
Number 2 is a little tricky, since we cannot really confirm nor deny that Ratio is no longer truly following Nous after he realizes he will never be acknowledged, he may be aligned to another Aeon or none entirely!
I personally dislike the Mythus/Fictionologist take, because again it is antithetical to who he is as a character. Fictionologists will rewrite history and twists facts in order to create the possibility of uncovering more, but this is akin to something called accelerationism, which is in plain words to incite chaos (bad) in the slim chances that from the chaos a great good might emerge/ be produced/discovered etc, a practice and ideology I feel Dr Ratio as he is characterized now would be extremely against.
Now I do subscribe to the fact that Dr Ratio may not be following an Aeon at all or we aren't privy to who they are yet, but this is a possibility that there is a facet to Dr Ratio we have not seen yet and will down the line so...
Number 3 is where I am at now, I really, genuinely think Dr Ratio just thinks of himself as some guy who was gifted with the equivalent of 8 genius brains but it isn't anything exceptional. From how he acts, he feels like some guy who had a rather normal childhood (if not really lonely, which I talk about in my twitter thread here) and grew up to be exceptional except in all the ways he wanted/was taught to want/thought he might want.
So I operate on several headcanons about Ratio just genuinely being so smart in a planet that is presumably the remnants of the civilization in the Laurel Wreath Galaxy where a Philosopher King/Philosopher Union was mentioned. This headcanon is heavily colored by this excellent theory a fellow fan made and I have to admit I can scarcely distinguish between mine and theirs while I turn him around in my brain so do give them/their thread a read too when you can, but I do also subscribe to how Ratio must have been exceptional in a civilization that prizes scholarship and enlightenment.
Knowing this, I presume he grew up with a lot of expectations placed upon him, particularly that of gaining the gaze or glance of Nous and ascending as a genius society member or more! That is a lot to place on an individual, especially someone like Ratio who is very much hinted to have grown up very fast due to his vast knowledge and while it's a stretch to say he was forced into growing up fast, because he def wasn't, he was nevertheless seemingly not really given much opportunities to be a child, as the push for him to start university very early could suggest that his aptitude and potential were so valued that it overridden any other needs he may have. If we wanted to ask about his childhood, he would have very dull things to say too, so to speak. I imagine it wasn't eventful at all, but filled with just studies.
Where am I going with this about his statues? They are called Mold of Idolatry! Idolatry meaning the extreme adoration or love of someone. That Dr Ratio makes the statues of himself never seems like the narcissistic sort, that would imply he holds himself in an extremely high regard to the detriment of others, but Dr Ratio isn't narcissistic, he would be a vastly different character if he was. The key to narcissism is that there is a great need, to the point of detriment, for admiration.
Now, look over to how Dr Ratio presents himself to us in his 1.6 quests. He wears his plaster head as not to be recognized by others, to remain incognito if you will, and is content to sit at the sidelines nudging things along in the background rather than swoop in and take the credit as the hero when Duke Inferno was trying to wreak havoc on the Space Station. His heroic deeds are never realized by the people he saved from being spaced, that is not an action of a narcissistic man who would gloat about saving other people. No, he sees his job is done and he walks away without fanfare, without even so much as seeking a thank you from the people he saved. That's one of the clearest and most well-thought of character introductions/demonstrations in the game and a solid proof that he isn't a narcissist (again self-centeredness is different!)
With that in mind, what does the statue imply?
Dr Ratio operates by redirecting attention not to himself so he can freely move in the background. That it looks like him in funny poses speaks to a silliness I feel he never really gets a chance to let loose too often, so his "art" is his outlet. That it directs enemies to attack that instead of him, I can't help but feel like there's a sense of "look at this 'image of me' others have built up, pour your love/expectations/wants/aspirations (and the extreme opposite of that maybe?) to that likeness of me instead, and let me be free from that to be who I could be without all of that baggage"
tl;dr -- it's not that deep but it is?? I feel like Ratio just wants to be left alone to do his thing and that's what the Mold of Idolatry represents.
I hope that satisfies you, anon! Thank you for your question, since I do have more insights to Dr Ratio now. I think I'll also find a way to condense this into a Twitter thread sometime.
#honkai star rail#dr ratio#dr ratio analysis#asks#thank you anon <3#hsr dr ratio#dr ratio hsr#dr ratio honkai star rail
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☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it's time to spread positivity! you make me happy! <33
Dhcdkwnwidjfowj I don't know how this works could I just put it in your inbox as well as others? (Cause you're also one of my favourite blogs?) Blessings to you, thanks I'll pass it on :D
#friend!#asks#I don't thiiiink I'm supposed to put it back in your inbox?#but listen I would so send you this ask too uni#ALSO WAIT#I JUST REALIZED IM NOT FOLLOWING YOU YET?!?!#adhlckdshabduejqh I've been adoring your blog for so long and others too I just forget to follow people 😭#get followed friend
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imigane clover ever letting slip how fucked they family life was and ceroba just being mortified
the gang ends up on the local news
#my art#monster clover au#undertale yellow#starlo uty#ceroba ketsukane#martlet uty#clover uty#i think clovers parents were neglectful and strict based off of canon hints so thats kind of what im going for here!!#they neglected their house and their kid and expected clover to fend for themselves#and yet expect them to do everything and follow their rules#so its weird for them to actually. have reliable adults#(even if those adults… did try to kill them at first and let them kill themselves and didnt stop them but you know. everyone has flaws!!)#(theyre getting better at being adults LMAOO)#ALSO I JUST REALIZED I COVERED THE PANEL OF MARTLET FIXING THE ROOF SO U CANT TELL WHATS GOING ON?!??!#im too lazy to fix it. but im mad i covered it up#mcau comic#mcau art
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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Sorry for all the wonho Wednesday posts that are coming ♥️
every once in a while when i stop by my inbox i see this i need you to know i support wonho wednesday i dont kinow who he is but i Understand
#asks#blackhole-that-is-life#tumblr doesnt have a search function but it can be trusted to notify me about every single wonho wednesday post. or similar guys#and i respect it#idk why ive been chosen i know nothing about . K pop i think that one is kpop yes#but tumblr thinks i should know and i find it hilarious#you dont even reblog those guys that much i think#im just legally obligated to be aware and everytime i like without really knowing what the#post is yet and then bam. wonho wednesday'd#showing up like some grandpa like 'what nice photos'#until i realize its like. kpop OR that person i follow who ended up posting a lot of fall out boy i think it was.#my instincts is just to like my mutuals posts and hey. sometimes thats wonho wednesday
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also chapters and chapters of continuity about Rhae’s injury now being able to payoff in shared experience of recovery with Aemond>>
#Yay for long term payoffs to decisions you made in the first chapter over a year ago!!#Haven’t left driftmark yet but I’m really excited to dig into the chapters leading up to the ep. 8 time jump#I was kind of aware that i did this but i switched tenses sometime last chapter and ive been stuck in present ever since#It took me way too long but I realized by the end I’d done it but never really identified where it happened#But i went back and i think its from when Baela says ‘what do you want’ on#Which was unintentional? But kind of an interesting place for it to happen.#I think this is because i was following the episode so heavily and it started ~feeling~ more present because of that#But like i shouldn’t have done that and I’m trying to find a good place to switch it back LMAO#Im sorry if people didn’t notice that and it didn’t bother them but i let it ride last chapter and now its really bothering me#Deluding myself into thinking it’ll count as a stylistic choice if I switch back in an interesting way#This is why i think whenever i actually finish i want to do like. A remastered version#Where i do some editing with the full knowledge of what the story ended up being#Just gotta get to that point first lololol
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being a student is always going so well until it Isn't .
#j.txt#vent#think i am going to drop this class that ive already had to put myself through and fallen short on twice. round three is looking Bad folks👍#I genuinely just. do not know what I am supposed to do anymore. it always seems like I understand the material and have vision of what-#I want to produce and then I go to execute and Bam. severe demand avoidance hit you like a knife in the ribs#I am simply So Tired of it. hitting my head against walls. being told I need to “experiment” without any explanation. having resources#offered and then never followed up upon. advice of I just need to buckle down and do it.being unmedicated lol. it's just Too Fucking Much<3#like its to a point that I am seriously and desperately considering changing my entire major. Over One Single Class. but I dont Want to not#be an artist it's the best thing I've ever been and I Know im good at it. just not. this part I suppose.#so funnie that im going to have to bring this up next therapy sesh and shes gonna go. this is a traumatic event that we should probably#deal with. like no yeah I realize trauma is for when things actually hurt you and this situation is so frustrating i could ***#but it definitely doesnt count because it's Me so yknow. we can just pack it up now and Not deal with it for yet another semester maybe<3#but like Whatever. academia is what you get out of it and all that and if nothing else we have tenacity etc etc o7
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shdidjskl
#please don’t read the following tags if you’re sensitive to sa/csa#i realized recently that i was groomed and stalked#my ‘fame’ on the wof subreddit. that was grooming.#bc so many of those ppl idolizing me were adults#and they would go on my profile and comment on old posts that they wouldn’t have just come across#found comments i left on different subs#among other things#and i just. i realized that i was being groomed and stalked#and if you know me from last year on discord you know what happened with monsoon and everything#i thought he was my friend.#and i also realized that i have/had all the common signs of csa. yet i cant remember anything#i chalked everything up to daddy issues and an abusive household but im really thinking i got raped at some point#and im terrified#i cant remember anything#i’m so scared that whoever did it is still in my life#i’m so scared they got away with it#i’m so scared they got to someone else#i’m just scared man#why didn’t they see the signs. why didn’t they say anything.#why didn’t they care#vent#rambles
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dumbfounded how people hold their jobs and don't have Symptoms to manage along the way and don't feel like dying after a workday. and then get up the next day to do it again. i've been said how "you'd do it as well if you were in a tight situation, it's because you're still living with your parents who pay for your food and bills". no i wouldn't. in a tight situation i would simply die ?
#im poor and my brain is a different entity to me completely that doesn't listen to what tell it and im still healing from trauma and#am trying to manage my anxiety#im always just managing managing managing#the day goes by and i realize ive only managed today and didn't do anything to not be poor#i know it's stupid to think this way#there's so much internalized ableism im yet to unlearn#but my environment is just always pushing the buttons and putting me in situations where#i lose all my progress and go back to square one#with thinking that 'i will be useless forever'#i know many things are out of my control#ive been fed this narrative of 'you need to try more and it will work out' so much#or 'you need to work hard to be useful'#these words are poison#but they keep repeating inside my head i dont even notice when i start following these orders#; words generated by me#vent cw#vent tw#death mention
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guys i gotat be honest. i am aalittle bit drunk and i am typing on my computer right now
#i am trying to outline a fanfiction#yes it is for stranger things please just let me live okay#i got drunk. bc it was destiel day and i missed it bc i was busy being weird about things other than destiel#sorry to the destiel mutyals pleasd forgive me#are any of yall still following me lol#sorry i stopped talking about spn i realized that it was detrimental to my mental health#and so i had to call it quits#destiel makes you bad in the brain#like a drug almost#anyway. iam drunker than i anticipated being bc i forgot that my tolerance has been lowered. DRASTICALLY#bc if you don';t drink at all for an entire year and then drink again it's like you are drinking for the very first time#and to be honest i am drinking straight up moonshine tonight#which certainly does not help matters#im gonna do another shot tand then go back to working on outlining my ST fic#or maybe i will notdo that. who is to say#anyway. happy late destiel day. i wish i had never gotten back into spn in 2020#except that i did make some truly epic friends upon reentering that fandom#i am of course talking about phin wash and miranda#the besties#phin i just realized that you texted me earlier and i have yet to respond#oh well ir espond wwhen i am no longer drunk#lol ily phin <3#ok im gonna go now byyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee#anya.txt
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AGAIN. YOUR SISTERRRRRndnqmmtm
#i hate you. i actually hate you.#if i wasnt justified enough for the 1.#slave owning! of her own cousin!#2. her lack of action of ANYTHING to do with that at FUCKING ALL yet everyone stilll lovesss claiming shes so sweet and kind and innocent#3. her FOLLOWING NARUTO AROUND EVERYWHERE which is CREEPY why are you STALKING HIM#4. her again. while im not denying she probably went through stuff!#but her glorifying narutos suffering another KID HER AGE so she could feel better about herself#without ever even HELPING HIM LIKE. if shes so 'kind'#HOW COME SHE COULDNY FUCKING REALIZE THIS IS ANOTHER KID HER AGE AND AT LEAST I DONT KNOW??? SAY SOMETHING????????#SHE PUT HIM ON A PEDESTAL ANF HE WAS GETTING BEAT UP ALL THE TIME and she is SO privileged#and ALL SHE GETS IS PRAISE FOR IT#and her PERSONALITY. SHE DOESNT FUCKING HAVE ONEEE#ITS ALL NARUTO SHE PUTS *EVERYONE#*#UNDER NARUTO.#her own slave cousin. her own teammates. her OWN DAMN SISTER.#no matter the situation if someones dying if someones in danger its still naruto#who she doesnt even understand the first thing about#HER OWN KIDS TOO#she IS selfish and nobody ever realizes that which just makes me all the more upset with her#okay? okay.#fae watches stuff
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i miss this one coworker of mine :c
#shes the first coworker who walked to me to shake my hand and introduce herself and smile at me and include me in her chitchat with other#coworkers and from time to time explaining to me some inner jokes or who the people they had just mentioned were and she was also the one to#tap on my shoulder when our boss was having a bad day and treating everyone poorly and it also was one of my first days there and i was#overwhelmed with work and i really needed a break so she walked to me and tapped on my shoulder and told me to sneak out with her because#it wouldn't be a mad boss to decide whether or not we deserve a break so i followed her and she took me to this wonderful hidden spot full#of cherry trees where no one could see you and where she'd go when she needed a break from work away from coworkers and there she told me#she had cancer and that it was coming back and then i realized how much of a natural i am when it comes to getting attached to people who's#not that obvious that they will stay and there i realized how much of a natural i am to be self centered because once she told me that i#felt sorry for her and i wanted to hug her but i also had a littke thinking about myself and my attachment issues and what is it if not bein#self centered? and after a few days she stopped coming to work ans i was so fucking scared that something najor had happened to her but#nobody would say a thing because im working in a medium sized company where people are religious about other people's privacy so no one#would tell me what was going on and not everyone knew what was going on and one day there was this coworker of mine who was missing her#quite a lot so during coffee break he went all “that's it. that's enough. i need to know what happened to [redacted]. idc you wont tell me#idc you cant tell me. i need to know. she wont answer the phone and im hella scared and she is a colleague but shes also a friend“ and#thats how i found out she was getting much worse and she was basically living in the hospital now and thats how my heart broke yet another#time and thats how im walking to work every day since i found out. wearing grief like a cloak. carrying it around on my shoulders. waiting#for her to come back. wating for her to take me to the cherry trees again.#cinnamon at work
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god they just. rebooted the show during s5 huh
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#did they just hear rick in the abcs of beth say 'maybe something about your mother' and go ah yes. we can use this#because the first three seasons were very much building up to a whole cthulhuian eldritch horror 'man saw too much and was forever changed'#kind of dealie. like man realizes just how little he matters. how common he is.#he sees the multiverse and it stares back at him and says 'this is what you will become. many before you have stood where you stand.'#'and all of them have followed in the footsteps of their forebearers'#like rick looks out into the universe and sees MILLIONS of him who ALL left his wife#and like. that has to fuck with you a little#whether subconsciously or consciously i think s1-3 rick sabotaged his own marriage#(im ignoring season 4 because god. what a nothing season.)#okay i do think the central finite curve is a good idea but i don't think rick should have invented it OR the citadel#i think the citadel should have been something which predated rick. like for as long as interdimensional travel has existed#and rick rejects it. which makes him the 'rickest rick'. because literally any rick who's anybody is involved in the citadel#and i think the central finite curve should have had something to do with time travel? like time manipulation#something just close enough to time travel to make rick mad#a time bubble which keeps every dimension in the curve stuck in time#years pass but no one ages. as an explanation for how morty and summer stay the same age yet a year passes every season#idk i havent gotten to the curve episode yet im kind of spotty on how it works
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the unhinged mav drawing posts the day after tomorrow and i've debated a million times whether to let it post or create an account for these type of not-so-sfw drawings
#then again i put it under a read more + tagged it as much as i could + still put warnings before the read more.#so idk what else im supposed to do. imma be honest and say i created a kinky sideblog to reblog shit im too embarrassed to reblog here#but i have yet to use it lol. i could use it maybe?? but then having a following is kinda hard ooooof.#i still dont have that much on the general art blog. it took me a lot to get 9 fucking followers. its ok though#i appreciate the 9 people who saw my art and decided to follow; thats more than i think i deserve lol (and i have 55 on insta)#but thats also why i dont want anyone to unfollow i will die.#theres the chance i either attract kinky people who like to see a boy with a collar and a leash all bruised and with cuts#or 🐜s who will cancel me for having not so approved kinks; or just kinks in general#(i never talked about mav's paraph1l1a directly on there; although i have a drawing queued for tomorrow that very vaguely hints at it)#(but you literally need to know more about his character to even realize lmao and i have yet to write his toyhouse)#also; you know how 🐜s are. violence ok but sex no. i could draw someone all gory but if the context is kinky#then suddenly is irredeemable and how can i do that to the poor pixels who belong to me.#anyway this whole post was me wondering whether i should cancel the posting and post it in the kink blog i have#or let it post in the regular art blog and god knows what will happen. idk as i said getting even the slightness of disapproval#will send me into a spiral. a.#lilith whispers
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